Christian's P.O.V.-
I came home to the dorm house to a flustered Jason, although I didn't realize it right away. "Hey, man," I kicked off my shoes and set down my backpack. He spun right around to me; if I didn't know any better, I'd swear he was blushing. Hmmmmm, now that I'm looking at him, he does seem a bit red. "You have a fever, dude?" I straightened up while asking him. He flinched and immediately shook his head. "N-No! I'm fine…." "Ok then," I went to put the kettle on for some tea. Jason ogled me the entire way, taking his time to speak again.
"Erm, C-Christian?" "Hmmmm?" "W-we've…. we've known each other since we were kids; it's been a long time, hasn't it?" "Yeah?" I naïvely responded with inappropriate casualness; you'll see why it was inappropriate in a second. A very intense- intense for Jason- pause fell between us. He took a step closer towards me. "W-well, it's just… You know I'd never doubt you or judge you about anything, right?" "I know that. What's up with you, bro? You're acting all weird," I pulled out the tea box. I wanted to make some tea for my journey downtown this afternoon. "A-and you know I'd never want you to feel bad. Nobody can help who they love; even alphas like you. You can't decide whether it's a wolf or…. a lamb…"
The tea bag instantly slipped from my fingers as I stared off into space blankly. What… what did he just say? I guess the look I then gave him was so terrifying that he backed up with his hands out in front of him. His expression went from uncomfortable to frightened in a matter of seconds. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to offend you! That's the opposite of what I wanted to do! I just couldn't help seeing it! I promise I won't say anything! I'm so, so sorry, man!"
Ok, explanation time. I won't bore you with the nitty, gritty, and very awkward conversation that followed. Somehow, Jason had found that insidious porno magazine that damn panda gave me; I knew I should have tossed it! But I didn't, and here I was- caught red-handed. Stupid thing; I've never even looked at it once! And now I'm being harassed over having something I haven't even indulged in; this is like getting caught with weed when you've never smoked it before. Regardless, Jason did discover it and I had to come clean- at least about why I would have that trash in the first place. Not so much on me attacking Anastasia that first night.
"S-sorry, Christian. I was just going to get the math textbook I lent you. Your door was unlocked and…" I huffed, gazing downward. Fuck this; I never asked for any of this. But Jason was my friend and his intentions were innocent enough- I can't get mad at him, much. "I won't tell anyone, I promise….. But, you know…." His head lowered a bit and I already knew what he was going to say next. I sighed, not willing to let him get a word in anymore.
"The truth is…. ever since I've met this lamb, I've felt weird. I've been confused… I can't think of anyone else but her, and I can't figure out why. As a wolf, I know how I'm supposed to feel about a lamb like her, but… but I simply don't. I've thought about it from every angle; hell, we've only really had one conversation before. I shouldn't feel like this….. But one look at her and it all comes rushing back."
Jason considered this for a moment. "Do you think it's possible you've imprinted on her?" "I have no clue. Imprinting is a subconscious process; I wouldn't know even if it did happen." "But… do you like her then? This lamb girl?" My eyes lowered softly; my lips parted a sliver. "She takes my breath away, and drives me crazy, and I feel nothing but pain…." The image of my hand reaching for Anastasia slipped unconsciously into my mind. "Christian…." "I don't…. I don't know if that's love or something else, but the fact that I don't know…. if this is love, then why does it hurt so fucking much?" Another brief moment of silence.
"Maybe because being away from her is physically painful for you? I think I've heard something like that about imprinting before." "It doesn't make any sense though; why would I imprint on a lamb of all animals? A lamb I barely know?" "Dude, you don't have a choice on who you imprint on- you know that," Jason sighed. "But what if I didn't imprint on her? What if this is something else entirely?" Something sinister…..
Jason watched me through the corner of his eye for a while, and then let out another long sigh. "I wish I could help you out with this one, man. But if it's as painful as you say, I'd end it with her." I blinked to him like he just told me to do the impossible, but his face remained adamant. "Dude, what's the point in hurting yourself if you even imprint on her? Don't forever, she is a lamb and you're an apex predator. It's unheard of- a lamb and a wolf. If this whole thing is only causing you pain and confusion, why continue it? Why not just let her go and forget about it? The sooner, the better, if you ask me." Forget? Forget about Anastasia? That's like asking someone to forget their experience in heaven. And despite that brief time we had together at dinner, I still remember every moment. Every gesture of her small hands, every flick of her brown hair, even every flash of her throat as she breathed. How could I possibly forget any of that?
Still…. I hadn't considered it until now but perhaps Jason has a point. I got angry when the panda told me to leave Anastasia alone, but Jason knows me; he's like a brother to me. He'd never encourage me to do anything harmful to myself- the exact opposite, in fact. Anastasia's face reappeared once more in my head…. Her beautiful, smiling face. I'm used to keeping my feelings bottled up inside; this isn't new to me. Maybe they're right and it is best to let her go- leave her to go live a normal life with other herbivores. And as for me…. Well, she made me smile for real, right from the bottom of my heart once. More than once actually.
What else can I ask of her than that?
Anastasia's P.O.V.-
"Man, this movie is so frustrating. Why don't they just kiss already?" I peeked up from my history textbook to see Kate scowling at the television. We had gone to the common room on our floor after class. I had to go to the festival grounds downtown soon and wanted to get some last-minute homework in. But Kate thought it best that we watch a cheesy rom-com instead; I don't know why she liked these movies when they annoyed her so much. Oh well.
"Theirs is a love that goes beyond kissing and all that physical stuff," I remarked in a detached sort of way. "Yeah, right; that's just dumb, virgin stuff. Kiss him already damn it!" Kate shouted at the screen like she was irritated it hadn't obeyed her already. My eyes merely rolled. "This movie would be a million times better if they banged, or at least made out once or twice. It's like they're allergic of each other's skins," her arms threw up into the air. "Why did you want to watch 'Suddenly Wealthy with a Husband to Boot' if you don't like it?" I asked, growing tired of her complaining. "Duh, cause it's a great love story," she contradicted herself, and I had to hide a grin since I'm pretty sure she's unaware of this contradiction.
I then set down my book to watch the screen along with Kate. It was the scene where the two leads were making sandcastles on the beach. A gentle smile rang across my lips. "Do you like him?" "Who? That guy? He's alright. She's who annoys me." I laughed. "Oh? Then what is your kind of guy, then? Which guy do you like in this?" "Isn't it obvious? Mr. Bodyguard is where it's at. A bodyguard who also happens to look like Adonis…. She's an idiot for not just eloping with him; that's what I'd do if I were her." And my head shook returning back to my reading. Kate eyed me curiously for a minute.
"And you?" "Me?" "What about you? What kind of guy do you like, Anny?" "Haven't we had this conversation before?" I sighed tiredly. "Are you telling me you've never liked anyone before? Never?" This made me pause as my eyes drifted off into nowhere thoughtfully. Of course, Kate knew exactly what this meant.
"For real?! You like someone?!" "What?! No, I didn't say that." "You didn't have to; your face says it all. Sooooooo, who's the lucky guy? Do I know him?! Is it that guy from the football team you were waving at earlier?" "It's…. no one," I should have uttered with more conviction; of course Kate wasn't convinced. "Come on, Anny. I know you better than anyone; you've never had a crush on any guy before. This is a big deal- huge." "No, it's not." "Yes, it is. Tell me all about it. Who is he? How'd you meet him?" "Well…" I couldn't help but gaze down bashfully.
"I met him when he came to ask about the football article I just finished up. It's the strangest thing… I never saw myself with anyone, especially a boy like him. I'm a little frightened of him, to be honest….. I'm a little frightened of him, and yet…" All words paused in my throat. Wearing the widest smile, Kate leaned in closer urging me to go on. I had to continue, for both our sakes; this was my first time talking about it with anyone, after all….
"It's so weird. Whenever I see him, all I want to do is go up to him, go talk to him. I don't… I don't think I'm afraid of him per se; more so these odd feelings I have when I look at him…." "What kind of feelings, Anny?" Kate pressed. "I don't know how to explain it. He's so hard to read, and he almost never smiles. But like today for instance… I turned around suddenly and caught him looking at me, and he was smiling then. And I felt… it's almost impossible to describe. I felt as if he gave me the most enormous, beautiful present."
Kate sighed wistfully and rested her cheek in the palm of her hand. "He sounds wonderful." "He is; he really is," I agreed without hesitation. "So, who is he? You have to tell me!" "Er, uh… well… you wouldn't know him. He's not in any of our classes." "Is it the elephant?" "It's not the elephant- stop that!" "Ok, ok. But what are you gonna do now?" "What do you mean?" I asked her puzzled. "How are you gonna get mystery man to fall in love with you?" "I would never, Kate! I respect his feelings for me, whatever they are; I would never make anyone fall in love with me. Really!" "I mean how are you gonna deal with all these "confusing" feelings of yours? Just gonna pine from a distance forever?" "Hmmmmm, I don't know; it's… a complicated situation. It's not like I can just waltz up and talk to him." "Why not?" "Because…. because…." Because he's a wolf and I'm a lamb. Plus, I don't know how Christian feels…. He might not even like me, for all I know.
"I think you should just go for it." "Huh?" I turned my head back to Kate. She flashed me a brilliant grin. "Just go up and talk to him. What's the harm in that?" "I…. I don't know." "I know for you. You like him, don't you? You want to talk to him- just go up and talk. What's the worst that can happen?" Me? Just go up and speak with Christian? It's just so crazy that it just might work… "I guess I could…." My thumb ponderingly ran over the bottom of my chin. "Who knows? He might like you too- you never know." "I don't know if he will…. but honestly, more than anything…..
I just want to get close to him."