Hold Me Now

Part 3

The next day Donna sat at her desk, trying to concentrate on the papers in front of her. But it was no use. She was still upset about what happened last night. Honestly she understood that finding out they were going to have a kid was a shock. She was shocked too. But there was a part of her that wanted Josh to be excited about it, to wrap her in his arms and say 'this is great' or 'oh my God, really' and give her one of his signature grins. Instead he made it sound like she was trapping him with a kid he didn't want.

She wasn't stupid. She knew there were going to be sacrifices and some hard decisions to make. But there were going to be great things they got in return. He didn't seem to realize that though. She tried to shake her thoughts out of her head because she had a schedule today that she needed to abide by and getting lost in her thoughts wasn't an option right now. She had to focus on her job and deal with everything else later.

She got up and walked to the adjoining door, lightly knocking on the First Lady's office door.

"Come in!"

She entered and smiled at the First Lady.

"Ah Donna, right on time. How are we coming on the conference?"

"Good." She nodded. "Blood:Water is the only one who hasn't agreed to attend yet. I have another meeting with them tomorrow though. I'll get them to come."

"I know you will." Abbey smiled. "Have I told you lately how much I appreciate having you on my side? I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else and I certainly wouldn't want to go up against you."

"Well thank you, but it's unnecessary. I enjoy the work we do and I enjoy working for you." She paused for a moment. "Can I ask you something not completely work related though?"

"Of course."

"I'm just wondering how…what…how did you and the President handle having kids with your careers?" She fumbled through that question but it eventually come out right.

Abbey laughed. "It wasn't easy. It was a juggling act, that's for sure. But if it is something you want then you find a way to make it work. Are you and Josh thinking about starting a family soon?"

She was conflicted because she wanted to tell the First Lady about being pregnant. But at the same time she wasn't sure if it was a good idea to start spreading the news around without talking to Josh about it first.

"It's just something I think about sometimes." She admitted. It was the truth—just not the whole truth.

"Well keep in mind that there is never going to be a perfect time to have kids and sometimes they come without even trying. Zoey, for example, was a big surprise."

She smiled, partially because it was nice to know small tidbits about their life and also because this pregnancy was a surprise too. "I will keep that in mind."

She looked at her watch and realized they needed to get back to business. "We better get going if we want to make our meeting."

"You're right." Abbey agreed. "Let's go."

They walked through the halls until they got to the Oval Office. "Hello Mrs. Fiderer."

"Hello m'am. Hello Donna." Debbie Fiderer greeted. "You can go right on in."

"Thanks." She followed the First Lady in and saw the President sitting behind his desk with Leo standing in front of it.

"Thanks for coming in." Leo greeted.

"I wasn't sure I had a choice when I was summoned this morning." Abbey laughed.

"We need to discuss this conference in Vancouver." Jed started.

"What about it?" Abbey asked. "You aren't going to try and cancel it again, are you? I thought we settled this last night." Abbey asked.

"We didn't settle anything yet." Jed sighed. "Abbey, I know you think I am being paranoid but it's for your own good."

"I don't think you are being paranoid. I think you are being ridiculous." Abbey argued. "And there is a huge difference between the two. I would think with your education you would know the difference."

Donna watched the back and forth before looking at Leo, who simply smiled at her and shrugged his shoulders.

"So now it's ridiculous to want to protect you?" Jed asked, his tone rising.

"It's only ridiculous when there hasn't been a truly credible threat!" Abbey pointed out.

When they stopped arguing for a moment she saw it as her chance. "Excuse me, can I just ask what is going on?"

"You mean you didn't even tell your own Chief of Staff what's going on?" Jed scoffed.

"I was going to tell her." Abbey rolled her eyes.

"When?" Jed asked. "When were you going to tell her? After the conference?"

"With all due respect, can someone just tell me please and get it over with?" She laughed.

Leo stepped closer to her. "There has been some increased chatter among the Libyan terrorist groups about displeasure over the First Lady's clean water initiative."

"Apparently they don't like it that she is trying to help their people." Jed interjected.

"What kind of chatter?" She asked.

"The kind that worries us." Leo explained. "The president feels it would be better to postpone the conference and suspend working on the initiative for a little while to let the Libyans calm down."

"But I told him hell no." Abbey pointed out.

She thought about it for a moment and sighed. This was probably the thing that Josh knew but couldn't talk about when he came to her office about this. He probably wasn't allowed to tell her. She felt bad about giving him a hard time but focused on the issue in front of her. "The way I see it, we can't suspend the clean water initiative. It sends the wrong message to both the Libyan groups and to the rest of the world. It shows that we can be bullied and I know that's not how we want to be seen."

"It's a matter of security though." Jed spoke up. "I'm not putting you two in a place where you are unsafe."

"Then we simply increase the level of security at the conference." She explained. "We are only in Vancouver for 36 hours. Most of that time will be spent in meetings at the convention center. I don't see the problem."

"That's what I said too." Abbey spoke up.

"So I'm the only one who cares about these threats?" Jed scoffed.

"No." Abbey replied. "I care about them. I just don't want to let them dictate my life."

Jed was quiet for a few minutes. "Fine. We are going to increase security. You can have your conference. But I want your promise that if we learn of or get a whiff of any legitimate plans for the Libyans to do something in retaliation for you continuing with it, we'll shut it all down so fast your head will spin."

"I can live with that." Abbey nodded.

"Good." Leo chuckled. "It's settled then."

"Great." Abbey sighed. "Do you guys mind if I have a moment alone with my husband?"

"Not at all." Donna said, leaving the Oval as quickly as possible. She made her way over to Josh's office and knocked on the doorframe.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Hi." She came in and closed the door behind her.

"Uh-oh. Am I in trouble?" He asked. "You're closing the door."

"No." She shook her head. "I just didn't want anyone overhearing our conversation. I just came from a meeting in the Oval."

"Really? Why?"

"The First Lady and I were summoned there so we could meet with Leo and the President." She explained.

"About what?"

"The clean water initiative and the conference in Vancouver." She watched his face to see if he was going to give any clue away that he knew about Libya. But his face remained stoic.

"I see."

"You know the real reason the President wants to cancel it. Don't you?" She kept her tone from sounding angry or judgmental.

"Yes." He nodded. "Do you know the real reason?"

"I just found out." She explained. "While I wish you had told me, I understand now why you couldn't."

"Are tensions still high?" He asked.

"I guess so." She shrugged. "But we've agreed to keep the conference going with more security unless there is a credible threat."

"If it's a dangerous situation, should you be going?" He asked. "I mean, you are pregnant."

She walked over to the side of his desk and leaned against it. "I swear, I'm not going to do anything to put us at risk. But at the same time this is my job. I've worked on this conference for a long time now and I'm not going to let some chatter from Libyan groups stop me. I trust in the Secret Service to protect me. And if there is a credible threat, we'll postpone."

"I'm just not convinced that is the best idea." He told her. "I have my reservations about it."

"I'm aware." She nodded. "This plan was agreed to by everyone else though."

"But everyone else doesn't know you are pregnant." He pointed out.

"It's going to be fine. Trust me."

"I do trust you." He assured her. "It's everyone else I don't trust."

"Don't worry."

"Easier said than done." He mumbled.

"Do you mind if I ask for a small favor?"

"Anything." He agreed.

"Lend me Sam for a few days?" She asked. "I need someone to write the First Lady's speeches for the conference."

"Don't you have your own speech writer on staff?" He chuckled.

"Yes, and Mark is good." She admitted. "But I need someone great. I need someone who demands people pay attention, whose speeches are captivating, educational, and inspirational. I need someone whose speech can galvanize others into action. And that person is Sam."

He seemed to be thinking about it for a moment.

"Ok." He finally stated. "We can probably spare him for three days starting tomorrow, but that's all."

"Thank you." She smiled, getting up from the edge of his desk and walking to the door.

"Donna?" He called out.

She turned around. "Yeah?"

"Are we ever going to talk about the elephant in the room? We've been talking about everything else today except…"

"I'm not sure what else there is to say about it." She shrugged. "You wanted time so I'm giving you time. I've said what I need to say about it. The only thing left is for you to figure out your own feelings on this. If you want to talk, I'll be happy to listen. But I'm not going to re-hash everything right now. We both have work to do."

"Ok."

She could see that he wasn't happy with that answer and walked back over to him. Without saying anything she leaned down and gave him a kiss. When she pulled back, she rested her forehead against his.

"I don't like when we are like this with each other, when it's awkward and weird."

"I don't either." She admitted before she gave him one more kiss. "I'll see you at home later."

She didn't give him a chance to respond before striding out of his office.

Josh waited a few moments after Donna left before heading over to Sam's office. He found his friend crumpling up a piece of paper. "Having issues?"

Sam looked up and frowned. "I can't get something right. It's there in my head, but I can't get it on paper to sound the same."

"Do you have a moment?"

"Sure." Sam nodded. "What's up?"

"I have given you to Donna for the next few days." He explained. "She needs someone to write the speeches for the First Lady's clean water initiative conference."

"She has her own speech writer." Sam pointed out.

"Yes, I know that." He didn't want to have to say the next part but felt he needed to in order to properly explain it. "Apparently Donna wants the best speech writer."

"And she picked me?" Sam chuckled.

"Yes."

"Well I'm honored." Sam grinned. "And I'll be happy to do it."

"You didn't really have a choice." Josh laughed.

"There is always a choice." Sam pointed out. "So how did it go with Donna?"

He got up and closed Sam's door. "I was honest with her and now things are weird between us."

"What did you say?"

"Something about how it didn't matter what I thought because she was going to have the baby anyway and I just had to deal with it." He sighed.

"Josh…"

"I know!" He interrupted his friend's admonishment. "I realize it wasn't one of my finer moments and I feel bad about saying it like that. But I'm freaking out. I don't know the first thing about babies except that they are gross most of the time. I don't know how we are going to do it. And Donna says she is freaking out but I don't see it. She is so perfectly calm about it. I'm crawling out of my skin with panic and she is acting like it is business as usual. It's maddening."

"You need to get a grip." Sam advised.

"I know." He nodded.

"And you need to just be honest with her."

"Yeah, cause it went so well the last time." He scoffed.

"I'm serious. Should I lock you two in a room? Would that help?"

"I don't know." He sighed.

"Let me ask you this. Putting aside your panic, what do you want? Do you want to have a child?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I really don't know. It wasn't something I really thought about or considered an option. But now it's here and I'm trying to wrap my head around it."

"Maybe you shouldn't discuss it with her until you know more about how you feel." Sam backtracked.

"Yeah." He nodded.