'Get out of my head, get out of my head...'
Dean held onto his head, rocking himself back and forth. He kept hearing voices in his mind, arguing. One was Sami's telling him how much he loved and cared him, telling him how good he was for always listening to him. Taking his punishments like a good omega should.
The other was Roman's voice. Calling out for him to remember. All the memories that they have shared. When he saved him. When he knew he was always there.
The alpha sat across from him, seeing him in this state. He really wanted to hold his distressed omega, but he kept pushing him away. Roman understood that Dean needed to be alone, to try and figure things out. But he didn't like just sitting there, not knowing what to do.
"Dean, are you sure you'll be alright here by yourself?"
"I...I will be...You need to go, Roman. I have to do sort this out on my own."
The alpha frowned, going over to him. "I know that you do. Its just...I don't want you to hurt yourself. Its hurts me seeing you like this."
Dean stopped what he was doing, staring down at the alpha who was on his knees in front of him. Just recently, more memories were coming back to him and his mind had been a constant battle.
He remembered all of what Roman had done for him. Still, he was held back from giving himself completely to him. Sami had changed that, and he didn't know what was true. He was still torn about what the alpha told him.
'Roman is not coming back for you. He abandoned you, Dean. It was me that found you. I'm going to take care of you, make all your pain go away.'
"Roman, please. I need to be by myself. Its not helping with your presence in the same room with me. I may be able to remember some memories, but I'm still scared and things are still confusing to me. Nothing makes any sense."
"If you really feel that way, baby, then alright. I'll take the pups to go see Aunt Seth and Uncle Finn today."
"No, leave Tommy here with me."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Besides, I need to bond with him again, don't I?"
Roman figured that that would be best. Maybe Tommy being with him might help be able to remember more of the love they both shared for each other. That would be good. If he took care of Tommy today, he would remember Roman helping care for him, him being there while he was pregnant, all the cute little moments they had with their baby.
000000000000
Dean hugged Miracle goodbye, holding on tightly to her. Just being able to hold her brought back the memory of when he gave birth to her and the reason why he had given her that name.
'She's our Miracle. Our pup that survived. Brought me and Roman back together.'
"Hey, Miracle."
"Yes, Mama?"
"Do you know how special you are to me?"
The pup pulled back from him, smiling. "Because even though I was so small, I survived inside you when you lost my sister."
"Sister...?" Her words confused him. "Miracle, you never had a sister..."
"Yes, I did. You lost her. Losing her tore you and Daddy apart before. You didn't know that you had me inside you, still alive. My chances of survival were slim, I should have died with her...but I stayed alive for a reason."
Dean smiled back at her. "To bring me and Daddy back together."
She put her arms around his neck, nuzzling his face. "Mama, I know you still love him. That horrible alpha lied to you. But I know that you want to come back us."
"I hope I can, Mira..." Dean picked her up, walking outside with her. He saw Roman near the car, waiting for them. "It hurts so much being like this."
He took Miracle over to Roman, handing her to him. Roman put her in the back seat, telling her to put her seatbelt on. He was about to get in the car but Dean stopped him.
"What is it?"
"I just wanted to say goodbye to you."
"Its only a day. We'll be back tonight for dinner."
"I also have something else to tell you."
Before Roman could ask, Dean closed the distance between them, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. He pulled away, looking into the alpha's eyes, a spark of hope in them.
"Dean..."
"I still believe in us. My mind may be clouded with so much doubt, but I know that there is something that is missing. Something that I know that will make things right between us."
The alpha caressed his face, pulling Dean closer to him. His Dean was finally starting to come back to him. He was proud of himself for not losing hope.
"I love you, Dean. My forever."
"I love you too, Roman. I promise you. You are going to lose again."