Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
The phone calls to Ron at inappropriate times gave me this chapter title, okay. Chapter title is a song by Artic Monkeys. No character is on drugs in this chapter.
Now it's three in the morning
And I'm tryna change your mind
Left you multiple missed calls
Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?
Kim did not sleep well. She told herself there was no reason she should have slept poorly. She had done nothing wrong. Her job was to watch Shego. She was watching Shego. Okay, it's true she had been thoroughly unprofessional that first night. She wished she could remember Shego's kiss better. "Put that out of your head. I'm a Global Justice agent and I'm on duty. Shego was just playing with my head." Was Shego playing with her head? Shego accused her of playing with the green woman's head. Kim felt certain she wasn't trying to play with Shego's emotions. It just... "I'm a Global Justice agent on duty. Focus. Global Justice. Doing my job." She tried to turn it into a mantra to keep repeating as she prepared for her meeting.
"You don't need to stand at attention," Rose told Kim.
Kim hadn't realized she was at attention. She attempted to relax with limited success.
The mission supervisor glanced at the clock. "You're a little early."
"I'm usually prompt," Kim assured her. "Last time was, uh, I didn't see the note until after eight."
"And you were not in the best of conditions. How do you feel this morning?"
"Fine. I don't get drunk very often. It was completely inexcusable for me to drink that much the first night."
There was a minute of uncomfortable silence. Finally Rose Gardner sighed and pointed to a chair. "Sit down. You're new to Global Justice. I've never worked with you before. I read your file. It's impressive. I get a sense of why Doctor Director speaks so highly of you. And that's why I can't figure out what the hell is going on."
"In reference to..."
"You and Shego. Your file mentions the history you two have. Which is why the kissing, drinking, eating together, and other friendly behavior seems so out-of-character."
"There was just the one kiss. She started it."
"I don't care who started it."
"But you want it to stop. That was what my mom said after she said she didn't care who started it."
"That's what everyone's mother said. And this isn't a joke."
"Sorry."
"I don't want my report to read that Agent Possible fucked up on her first mission by hopping into bed with the woman she was supposed to monitor."
"Shego and I haven't been in bed together."
"The cruise isn't over," Rose snapped. Then took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "And perhaps it isn't any of my business if you do. Theoretically Shego isn't wanted for any crimes. We don't ask agents to be monks or nuns. But it looks bad if you have a fling with the person rated the number one potential danger on the cruise. I want a preliminary report from you."
"When?"
"Now. Having spent the last few days with Shego, do you see any reason to believe she's reformed?"
"I'm not sure what you mean by reformed. I don't believe she has changed much. I do get a sense she likes not being wanted and would like to keep her current status. My suspicion is that she is working for the person or persons who managed to clear up the charges against her."
"So you think she may be planning a crime at their direction?"
"I'm not sure she's planning a crime."
"Please don't tell me you think it's a coincidence she's on this cruise."
"I didn't say that. I have no idea why she's here. One weird idea is she's on this cruise because there are so many security agents."
"Forgive me if that makes no sense."
"She's suspicious about something. She's wearing some sort of monitor that she checks frequently, maybe an alarm in her cabin or luggage. She thought she might be followed yesterday in Bergen and wanted me to watch her back. She also considers the possibility she might be attacked."
The senior agent looked thoughtful. "Interesting theory. I'm not saying I believe it, but it sounds plausible. Of course it doesn't change Shego rating the title of top danger spot on the cruise – it just means it's possible that rather than instigating the danger she may be a magnet attracting violence to herself... Oh, have you considered the possibility she might be a security agent herself, working for one of the non-cooperating nations?"
"I thought about it. My opinion would be unlikely."
"It might explain the charges against her disappearing."
"I didn't say impossible, I said unlikely. Shego is allergic to the discipline I think security personal require."
"I'm not going to ask about your views of discipline and Shego. It might sound kinky," Rose said, appearing more relaxed than she had since the interview started. "Keep monitoring Shego's actions. If you get any more information on what Shego fears, let me know. If you figure out what she's up to, let me know."
"Even if it's innocent?"
"Even if it's innocent. My own instincts tell me to pull you from watching Shego. Your file says you can do it. Doctor Director thinks you can do it, and Will Du says you can't. Those are three powerful reasons to leave you in place... Wait, a couple serious questions, and I want honest answers. You lie to me and–"
"I will tell you the absolute truth," Kim promised hoping Rose wouldn't ask how she felt about Shego.
"Did you put the itching powder in Du's underwear?"
"No."
"Do you know who put the itching powder in Du's underwear."
"No."
"Do you have any idea who is making Du's living hell?"
"No."
"No idea at all?"
"I... I was asked before the cruise started if I might be interested in pranking Will. I said no, and have not talked with that individual on the cruise. I have no evidence that person–"
"Steph, right?"
Kim could not force herself to say yes, but nodded her head in agreement. "I don't know that he did anything! I mean, I thought about– But I didn't! I don't know if Steph–"
"Du can be a pain, and Agent Carlson has a record of bad practical jokes. I don't know which of them is the bigger pain in the ass. Oh, thanks for the rescue last night."
"Was he complaining about me or the itching powder?"
"Yes."
Kim suspected the interview was at an end. She hesitated, "Am I, ah, still watching–"
"I said you're still taking point on watching Ms Jade. As long as she is not breaking any laws I don't care what you do with her, but try and keep it out of the main lounge. If–"
"We're not–"
"I told you, I don't care. As long as she is not breaking any laws and the two of you keep it out of the main lounge. Oh, and watch the drinking. However, if you do discover her plans involve criminal activity you will alert me immediately. In fact, I will require a daily report from you from now on."
"What form would you like for the report?"
"It can be handwritten on a three by five index card. It can be a two sentence voice message left on my phone. I just want one."
"You'll have it."
"Were you meeting Shego for breakfast?"
Kim blushed, "Yes, if that's–"
"Get out," suggested Rose, "she might be waiting."
Shego loitered by the doors to the main dining room. "Glad to see you're walking, Pumpkin."
"Still walking?"
"I thought your ass might be in a sling. Did you get booted off of spying on me?"
"I am not spying on you. Global Justice does not engage in espionage. We are a policing organization of–"
"You say po-ta-toe, I say po-tat-oh."
"No, seriously. This is a security detail and you are considered the biggest threat around."
"And they assigned a junior agent to watch me? I think I should feel insulted. You, however, should see it as a compliment."
"You seem in a disgustingly happy mood this morning."
"And why not. It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and Stockholm is our next stop."
"Oh, is Stockholm where you're robbing the bank or whatever evil you're planning?"
"You're not a spy, remember? Or were you lying about that? And I'm an honest woman now."
"Seriously, you seem to be in a better mood. You were worried when you called Ron the–"
"He was lying."
"You were acting scared around me, you called him for reassurance. You seem happy to see me just now."
Shego shrugged, "I did not call Ron for reassurance. And now I'm lulling you into a false sense of security, Acting, just acting like I'm happy to see you. I figure it's the best defense against you."
Kim caught herself before purring something suggestive about Shego surrendering to the inevitable. "I don't have anything in mind," Kim told herself. "Watching her is my assignment." "You're happy because we had fun together in Bergen yesterday. Admit it."
"Of course not."
"Meaning you had no fun, or meaning you won't admit it?"
"I think I'll ask your Rose Gardner... Is that her real name or some kind of code thing?"
"Her real name, I think."
"Maybe I'll ask her to let me pick out another Justice agent. Think she'd put them in a row for me and let me pick out a cute one?"
"I'm the cutest one on this mission. And I got the highest grade in the class on applying sunscreen."
"I guess I'll keep you then." In the back of her mind a robotic voice from reruns she watched with her father years earlier played, "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!" She couldn't simply ignore the voice. Instead she argued she was in charge of the situation, "I've got her game figured out now. She's not interested. She's just playing with my head. I know that, so I won't take it seriously. But we had fun together. I wonder how far..." The robotic voice played again, warning of danger. Better not see how far she could carry the teasing. If she remembered Lost in Space correctly the warnings never stopped Will Robinson, and he always should have listened.
Kim and Shego applied sunblock for the other by the pool. Kim showed more restraint than the previous day. Shego spent more time with Kim. Kim sighed. It felt nice. Shego's hands on her back felt very nice. Was it because they were Shego's hands? Was it just hormones like Ron had suggested, and it wouldn't matter whose hands were massaging the lotion into her shoulders?
"I'm done."
"Huh?"
"I finished your shoulders a minute ago. You're just sitting there, staring off at... what?"
"Sorry, thinking."
"Can I ask what you were thinking about?"
Kim blushed, "Nothing."
"You were in deep thought about nothing?"
"Stockholm! I was thinking about Stockholm."
"Lame, Cupcake, lame. If you said Stockholm the first time I might have believed you. So, what were you thinking about that you wouldn't admit to me? Thinking about me?"
"Thinking about Stockholm in relation to you," Kim lied. "We had fun in Bergen. Can we look around Stockholm together? Please?"
"You need permission to watch me? I thought that was your assignment."
"I'm still a little unsure about whether I'm responsible for your behavior for the duration of the cruise or only on board ship."
"So, it's okay for me to raise hell in the city as long as I behave on board?"
"I'm not sure. I could ask."
"Oh, and see if it's okay for you to raise hell in town with me. We could make out again."
"I'm told you ran scared after kissing me. And you called Ron to complain when I flirted with you. How come you're talking about making out with me now? Interested?"
"I, uh... Lulling you into false sense of security, remember?"
"You know, Dear, you and I really need some clear rules. It's not fair for one of us to flirt if the other one can't... And, ah, maybe we should both cool it." "'Cause I'm likely to take it way too seriously."
"C'mon, Princess. I've been teasing you as long as I've known you. It was part of our dynamic! You were the straight-arrow little high school kid with the heart of gold who wanted to save the world and I was the suave femme fatale with the sarcastic put down to your simplistic goodness."
"I am not a high school kid anymore. Snark is one thing, flirting is another – it's... It suggests... I, uh–"
"Sounds like we should have sex?"
"Right. You never did that when we fought before."
"Ick. Are you saying I should have suggested sex to a high school kid who was trying to take my head off? That's sick."
"No, and that's my point. I'm saying we keep this professional. My job is to watch you. I watch you. Your job is... Your job is whatever you job is, and you try to do it while I'm watching you. Sarcasm and snark are fine. Flirting is off the table."
"Is it still on the bed?"
"Shego!"
"Sorry. Maybe it would be safer if we declare flirting off limits... By the way, when you applied the sunblock the other day that definitely felt like a come-on."
"Okay, it was. I was out of line." Kim extended her right hand, "We act professionally. Shake on it?"
"Seal it with a kiss?" Shego suggested.
Kim glared. Shego sat back in her chair and laughed. "Sorry, Cupcake." She grew quiet. "Is this as weird for you as it is for me? I'm used to thinking of you as a kid, and I'm used to fighting with you. I'm trying to get my head around treating you like an adult and the fact I don't need to throw a punch at you."
"Sexual orientation. Are you working on my sexual orientation?"
"I don't know what you mean by working on your sexual orientation. That almost sounds like... I'm not sure what that sounds like. How about I concentrate on not hitting you and the fact you're an adult? Like you said, we keep it professional."
"Good. Uh, I had fun with you yesterday. Did you have fun with me?"
Shego's eyes narrowed, "What's your point?"
"Can we act like friends?"
"Act like friends? As in we're just acting and don't really like each other?"
"No! I'm... Okay, this sounds weird, I'm used to trying to stop you from some weird evil of the week. Now I'm having to process the fact I'm having fun with you. I... I think I like you. Friends?"
Shego hesitated. "I have fun with you. But I'll be honest, it's been so long since I called anyone a friend I'm not sure what it means anymore."
"It means we have fun together. We like being around each other. We don't try to hurt each other."
"Can I pencil you as a temporary friend for the trip? If it works out maybe we can draw up the papers and sign a contract to be friends after the cruise."
Kim smiled, "Sounds great." "Unless I have to stop you from doing something criminal."
The conversation cleared the air slightly between them. They relaxed and read. Shego continued to check the device on her wrist often, and their surroundings.
"You said you were assigned to watch me," she asked quietly.
"Yes."
"How many others? There're at least four guys watching us. One of them was that guy Rose was with last night."
Kim confirmed, "Will Du. He's a tattle-tale."
"Kind of a childish thing to say."
"It describes his behavior. The other three you see?"
"C'mon, Pumpkin, a real security agent should be able to catch them for herself."
"I mean, I count four or five besides Du who might be watching us. But I'm not sure it means anything. We're the two hottest women here and they might just be sight-seeing... Ah, but you're worried about being followed."
"Four or five? Wait, you said I was regarded at the biggest security risk on board. How many are Justice agents?"
"I'm not allowed to tell you that."
"Your tattle-tale is one."
"He's not looking at you. He's watching me so he can report to my supervisor that I screwed up."
"Rose doesn't like him either."
"I don't know why you think she's my supervisor. And Will is not the most popular agent on board. If we're bored we could try and pull a thorn from his paw."
"You want me to confess I have no idea in the world what you're talking about, don't you?"
"Well, yes."
"Okay. What the Hell?"
"Someone put itching powder in his underwear."
Shego giggled, "I might pull a thorn from a lion's paw – if I were drunk enough. Not enough liquor in the world to get me into a Justice agent's underwear."
Kim caught herself before asking, "Not even mine?" "Back to the voyeurs. One Justice agent. I won't say which one. There's the Canadian who was hitting on both of us. Maybe his wife doesn't mind if he just looks. I don't recognize the two I'm sure are watching us–"
"So they could be agents from prick nations?"
"Maybe. There's a guy I'm not sure about. He may be watching, but he's being careful if he is."
"Brown shorts, green-and-yellow striped towel?"
"Yes."
"He'd better be careful. I'm guessing it's his wife on the next chair. I'm not counting him with the definites"
"Like I said, we're the hottest women out here. There are some other guys who look us over, but it may just be 'cause we're hot. Oh, and a woman who's stared a bit. She may be jealous."
"Maybe she's interested. If you're really a lesbian you could go over and ask her out."
"I don't hit on every woman I see. Besides, I'm already here with you. I don't want you to be jealous."
"That almost sounds like flirting."
"It wasn't... Okay, close. There were a couple things I didn't say that would have been really suggestive, or I could have pointed out I'm with the hottest babe here."
"Babe? Seriously? Thank God for restraint. Meanwhile, I want to know if we're dealing with gawkers or someone keeping an eye on me."
"How to you propose to find that out?"
"I'm going to get my stuff together and leave."
"If you need to go to the bathroom you could–"
"If I leave my shit they know I'm coming back." Kim had a moment of panic. Was Shego trying to ditch her? Her job was to watch the green woman. "You see what happens with our watchers. You're eye candy all by yourself. Anyone who's just watching will stay here and focus on you. Anyone who leaves to go after me may be someone I need to worry about."
"I'll need to worry about him too."
"If he's tailing me? He's my concern."
"The flirting response, which I won't say, is that I don't need the competition. Serious response is I'm here to stop trouble, and someone coming after you might cause trouble."
As Shego gathered her belongings she assured Kim, "Had you given me the flirting response, which you didn't, I might have told you that you don't have any competition for my attention." She gave Kim a wink as she left the pool area.
Kim found her heart beating faster at Shego's words and wink. "Get a grip," she told herself. "Wait! She didn't say when she'd be back. Where are we supposed to meet up?" She almost ran after the pale woman. "Your job is to watch her," a voice in her head argued. The voice of reason cut in, "She's a trouble magnet. If any of these guys are after her it could be trouble."
Kim settled back on the lounger. Will Du appeared to lose interest. So much for the theory he had taken Shego surveillance over for himself because he considered Kim incompetent. Probably he wished to see behavior from Kim could report to their superior. The Canadian and another unidentified man continued to watch Kim, and striped-towel, seated by his wife, continued to steal the occasional glance. One watcher left in the direction Shego had taken, allowing just enough time that his leaving might have been a coincidence. Kim wasn't certain, but she might have seen a picture of the man on the out-the-agent bulletin board. "I need to check. Global Justice isn't the only security agency that would see Shego as a potential risk." Another individual Kim had marked as watching them gathered his belongings and moved in Kim's direction.
The slim, dark man asked, "Is your friend coming back? May I join you?" in an accent Kim did not recognize.
"Great, he's hitting on me." "I don't think so," she answered. "I mean, I don't think she's coming back."
"There is a better view of the pool here than where I was," he told her as he sat down.
That was true, but Kim was not sure it was better enough for him to move. The stranger made some idle conversation, but after a minute of innocent questions Kim realized more of them were about Shego than herself. "Need to look for his picture on the bulletin board too." His picture had not been there this morning after talking with Rose. Someone might have added some ID on the stranger.
The brown man stayed less than a quarter of an hour. He noticed that Kim was evasive when he asked about Shego and excused himself. Kim reached for her phone to call Shego. She realized she did not have Shego's number. Fortunately she knew someone who did. She checked her watch. It was too early to call. She called anyway.
"Kim? Why are you calling at... Oh, yeah. You do realize the time here, right?"
"Sorry, Ron. Small emergency. Can you give me Shego's phone number?"
"I don't–"
"Call history. She called you. I need her number from the call history."
"Hold on, I'll try to find it without disconnecting. I'm not awake, I could..."
There was silence. Kim wondered if Ron had accidentally disconnected. After what seemed like a half hour, but was probably less than a minute, Ron gave her the number, and demanded, "Care to tell me what this is about?"
"Oh, I bought a scarf for you the other day."
"You're changing the subject. A scarf for me?"
"Well, a scarf for you to give to your mom for a present. You can pay me back. She'll love it."
"How much was it?"
"I have to do the conversion. It doesn't matter. It's beautiful. Shego and I were in this shop in Bergen and–"
"Bergen? You and Shego were together?"
"Yeah. Anyway, she wanted my opinion on this scarf, and the stuff in the shop was gorgeous! And I saw one your mom–"
"Can we back up. Where is Bergen? You and Shego were on some cruise I thought."
"But we stop places. Bergen is in Norway."
"And you and Shego were shopping together?"
"Not at first. I was watching Shego. I wasn't watching, watching Shego. I was watching to see if anyone was watching Shego and–"
"You're confusing me."
"It's so simple. She's afraid someone might be following her, so she asked–"
"Shego's asking you for help?"
"I know! Isn't it wonderful?"
"I'm not sure that's the word I would have used," Ron muttered.
"And then she wanted my advice on a scarf and–"
"Are you back on the boat?"
"Ship. We're back on the ship. And I think someone is following Shego. Maybe two people and–"
"I don't know why you need her phone number."
"Aren't you paying attention?"
"The problem is not me, KP. At least not this time."
"Well, we were out catching some rays, and several guys were watching us, and–"
"I'm not surprised."
"Neither am I. We were the two hottest ladies at the pool. Anyway, she gathered her stuff and walked off so I could see if anyone followed her, and I've got a couple guys I need to check on now for her."
"Are you working for Global Justice or Shego?"
"I'm working for Global Justice! How can you... Global Justice doesn't want any problems. If someone attacks Shego or something it's a problem. So–"
"Working for Shego is really working for Global Justice?"
"We can debate this later, Ron. Right now I need to call Shego."
Ron started to laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"This is so weird. Kim Possible is trying to help Shego. And who does she call for Shego's phone number? Ron Stoppable. Which is weirder?"
"I'll get back to you on that. You reminded me I need to talk to the agent in charge too. And you'll love the scarf."
In fact, Kim decided, it might be a good idea to report to Rose Gardner first. And in the Global Justice suite she looked at the out-the-agent board before making her initial report. "There appear to be at least two individuals interested in Shego, besides Global Justice."
"It's probably more than that. I assume you mean exhibiting an active rather than a passive interest. Every security agent on board should have some curiosity about what she's up to.
"True. When she left the pool area a half hour ago it looked like she was trailed by an American agent, Clinton Thienstein. He works for the NSA. A second man attempted to question me about Shego. I don't have his name, he's not on the board out there. Slim, brown skin, an accent I didn't recognize."
"So, no idea who he was?"
"None. Shego mentioned she might be watched, suggested there's even a chance there might be an attack on her."
"Hmm... See if you can get any more information on the second man."
"And I have an ethical question."
"I told you, it's not my concern if you sleep with Shego."
"That wasn't the question," Kim blushed. "Shego asked me to see if anyone followed her. The NSA agent did. I assume I'm not allowed to mention his name or affiliation, correct?"
"Correct. I'm a little surprised you even asked."
"He's not with Justice or a cooperating nation. And I didn't ask as much as I wanted clarification."
"It shouldn't require clarification. The Americans may be as worried about what she's here for as we are. Maybe their Clint Fienstein–"
"Thienstein."
"Thienstein. Maybe he's just their point for making sure she keeps her nose clean. And maybe he's managing it at a distance."
Kim took the comment as a dig at her abilities. "Shego would have seen me! There was no way to do covert surveillance!"
"I'm not arguing with that fact. You're taking the approach you felt your relationship with Shego required. But you will not identify an American agent to Shego. You may tell her you observed two individuals of interest. You will not describe or point out the American. It is professional courtesy... You haven't talked with Shego yet, have you?"
"No. I knew to talk with you first." She slightly resented Rose talking about her relationship with Shego. They weren't in a relationship. "Yet," Kim thought. "She just mean an adversarial relationship," she reminded herself.
"Good girl. Be vague on the American. Find out what you can on the second man. Tell me first if it appears he is an agent for a non-cooperating country."
"Uh, Ms. Gardner, I–"
"You can call me Rose, Kim."
"Why did you suggest Shego and I were having sex? I told you–"
The senior agent sighed, "More trouble with Seth Carlson this morning. He has apparently started a pool on when you and Ms Jade will have sex. Should Agent Carlson discover itching powder in his underwear your name will appear at the top of list of possible suspects."
Kim planned to call Shego soon after leaving the Global Justice suite. It wasn't necessary. The green woman was loitering on deck as Kim left.
"Hey, Pumpkin, what did you find out?"
"How did you get here? Did you follow me? I didn't see you."
"I didn't follow you. You security agents are lousy at security. I found a steward and said, 'Hey, I was talking with one of the security agents. Where do the spies hang out?' and he told me."
"And I told you, this isn't about espionage. Global Justice–"
"You don't spy. Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. Except I asked you to check and see if I was on anyone's radar when I left the pool."
"Well, there was a guy who left soon enough after you that he might–"
"What did he look like?"
"Uh, just this average looking white guy. The second–"
"Average looking white guy? That's the best you can do? Did you flunk your class in description? How tall was he?"
"Average."
"Hair color?"
"Average."
"Build?"
"Average."
"Did you get his eye color."
"Didn't get a look at his eyes."
"But you're guessing they were average?"
"Probably."
"Okay, you're going to be useless on him. What about the other guy?"
Kim described the second man in detail. Shego wondered if Kim would recognize an Thai accent. That would explain why Kim had been unable to identify it. Shego wondered if she could recognize an Thai accent and, for that matter, how many different dialects or even languages might be spoken in Thailand. She probably needed Kim to help identify the man, but would need to find a way to ditch Kim if she wanted to question the man about his interest.
While they were speaking Shego's phone rang. The number shown looked familiar.
"Stoppable?"
"Yes."
"To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Wondered if Kim found you. She called me earlier for your number and–"
Shego moved beside Kim and turned the camera on for a video call. "Does that answer the question?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You have the phone to your ear?"
"Yeah. I–"
"Put it on speaker and look at the screen. You have a smart phone, right?"
"Of course I do," he assured them.
His image appeared on Shego's phone and Kim and Shego waved to him. Shego left her right arm behind Kim's back, and held up two fingers behind Kim's head, making bunny ears. Kim's left arm remained behind Shego, with her hand in the bunny ears gesture behind Shego's head. Each tried to keep a straight face, sure the other didn't know what she was doing, and each feeling very clever.
Ron sighed, "Does this mean I won't have either of you waking me up now?"
"Of course not," Kim told him. "Shego will call you up to find out what movies I like, or my favorite flowers or something."
"Like I would know."
"She doesn't know what a lousy boyfriend you were. Great best friend forever."
"Thank you for that."
"And I'll call you up to ask what she's saying about me behind my back."
"Why would I know what–"
"You're probably the only person in the world she trusts," Kim assured him.
"Not true, Pumpkin," growled Shego.
"So, who did you call when you wanted to talk about me? It was Ron! He's a wonderful listener."
"And you're lousy at following rules," Shego retorted.
"What are you talking about? I follow the rules," responded Kim.
"Turn around."
"What?"
"I said, turn around. I want to talk with Stoppable behind your back."
Kim giggled, and turned around as ordered.
"We agreed we'd stop the flirting," Shego explained to Ron.
"But she loves it!" Kim said loudly, to insure Ron heard her.
Shego silently mouthed, "I'll call you later," to Ron's image. "You can turn around, Princess. Say good-bye to the nice man and we'll eat lunch."
Kim turned and waved, "Good-bye nice man!"
"Kim is in so much trouble," Ron thought as the call ended. "I can pick up her crushing on Shego over the phone and half the world away." He wondered briefly it would make sense to try and catch a flight to find Kim and try to reason with her, but feared she wouldn't listen. And then he got distracted, reminding himself they weren't half-way round the world. A quarter-way around the world? It was probably more than a quarter and less than a half. Two-thirds? No, he was pretty sure that two-thirds was more than a half. And why did he have to measure from west to east? When he visited Japan, which really was half-way around the world, he always thought from east to west. Distracted by geographical puzzles he prepared to face the day and gave up thoughts of trying to rescue Kim from Shego's clutches. Or rescuing Shego from Kim's clutches.
By coincidence Kim and Shego went to the ship's Japanese restaurant for lunch. Kim did not point out the average looking white man who arrived some ten minutes later and sat at a distance from them.