Hold Me Now

Part Ten

"I still can't believe he left and went back to D.C." Gabby commented with a heavy sigh.

Donna looked over at her mom. She told her mom about Josh going back to D.C. last night. Ever since then her mom had been talking about how inconsiderate it was of him. It was a morning filled with her talking badly about him. It had to stop. "I told him to leave. He has a very important job."

"That may be, but his most important job is to stay here with his wife who almost died." Gabby corrected her.

"I don't want to get into an argument with you about this anymore, mom. You don't like that he left. I understand that but the fact is that he was hesitant to go. I had to practically push him out the door."

"He shouldn't have left." Gabby sighed again. "Why on Earth would you make him leave?"

"It's complicated." She knew her mom would have a problem with Josh leaving but at this point she didn't care. While a large part of her wanted Josh to go, she couldn't help but feel sad that he wasn't constantly sitting in the chair next to her, alternating between staring at her and flipping through the television. But she did tell him to leave so it was her own fault for him not being here.

She thought that making him leave would help things. That maybe if she made him go back home and help the President through this she would feel less guilty about her role in this situation. That maybe she wouldn't feel suffocated by the guilt or drown in her own sadness.

So far it wasn't working.

At least he was able to get the President to lift the media ban. They had gone back to having regular press briefings again. It was all over the television. She knew he could do it and was proud of him.

Josh sat in his office, going over some papers. It was extremely difficult to leave Donna last night and come back to the White House. At least her mom was with her and she wasn't alone. There was absolutely no way he would have left her alone.

It seemed important to her that he come back now instead of waiting until she was released from the hospital. He wasn't entirely sure why it was so important though. She claimed it was because he loved his job and he was the only person who could help the President. He wasn't sure that was the truth though. Leo could have gotten through to the President. And he did love his job. But he also loved Donna.

It was killing him to not be there with her. After what happened he didn't want to let her out of his sight. But last night he was too tired to fight anymore so he grabbed the first plane out and came back home.

It was a strange feeling walking into their home without her and an even stranger feeling going to bed without her. The only reason he was able to get any sleep was because he was exhausted. Even with the exhaustion of everything that had happened over the last couple of days, he was only able to get four hours of sleep.

He came to the White House early this morning and headed straight to Leo. Leo filled him in on everything before he headed up to the residence. It wasn't guaranteed that the President would speak to him so early or even at all since Leo was the only one of Senior Staff that had been in contact. Fortunately the President agreed to talk to him.

"Josh, what are you doing here?" Jed asked as he entered the bedroom. "Is Donna alright?"

"She is fine. She is with her mother back in Vancouver. The doctors think she will be released soon." He explained, feeling weird to be talking about how Donna will be alright when Abbey is dead.

"So then what are you doing here? Why aren't you still in Vancouver with her?"

He had been fine-tuning what he was going to say on the plane because he knew the President was going to ask him that. "I've been worried about your response to everything. Donna understands that and actually was the one who pushed me to come back early."

"And what's so wrong about my response that it has you flying across the country?"

"I understand that you are having a rough time considering everything that has happened. I don't know what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I can guess. And if my guess is even one fourth of the way correct, then…well I can see why you would isolate yourself from everyone else up in here and just surround yourself with your girls. I don't want to seem insensitive. I know you need time to grieve and you need time to help your girls grieve as well. But the fact remains that you aren't just their father. You are also the father of this country and every American needs you too."

"Josh…"

"They need you to be strong, even if it is just a façade. They need to see that you are still in control of this country and that you are ready to lead them. They are mourning the First Lady as well, and they are worried. This was an assassination. Those thankfully don't happen in the United States often. But when they do, Americans expect some kind of action to calm their fears and show that those responsible will be punished."

He knew from Leo that intelligence sources pointed to the Libyan Islamic Fighting Group being behind the attack with help from al-Qaeda. The President needed to approve one of the plans that he was certain existed as retaliation for the attack. But first he needed to get the President to lift the media ban and come out from the residence.

He watched the President's face for clues about whether he was going to be yelled at or agreed with concerning the speech. The President's face didn't give away any clues and he grew nervous waiting for a response.

"I know I have a duty to the public." Jed sighed. "And you are right. I need to show everyone I'm still in control. It's just that Abbey was my compass. Ironically, she would know exactly what to do in this situation."

"I think lifting the media ban and having press briefings again would be a good start." He commented. "We can ease you into everything else."

As soon as he got the President to agree to life the media ban, his first thought was to call Donna and tell her about it. But then he remembered the time difference and stopped himself. He looked at the clock and saw that it was 11am in Vancouver. He could call her now.

He picked up the phone but put it back down when he saw Sam appear in the doorway.

"I'm surprised to see you here." Sam commented, coming in and sitting down.

"Yeah, I have been getting that a lot today." He sighed. "Donna wanted me to come back so I came back. But her mother is there so it isn't like I left her completely alone."

"You don't have to justify it to me." Sam assured him.

"I'm worried about her."

"I thought you said she would be released soon."

"I'm more worried about her mental state than physical state." He noted. "She doesn't seem to be acknowledging what happened."

"Donna's tough. She'll be ok."

"Yeah." He wasn't convinced but decided to let it drop for now. "What brings you by?"

"Leo said we are to have a Senior Staff meeting in the Oval in ten minutes." Sam explained.

"Ok. I have to make a phone call first but I'll be there."

"Sounds good." Sam got up and started to leave but stopped when he got to the door and turned around. "You know, it's just a thought and I could completely wrong about it. But maybe Donna is afraid to deal with what happened. Look at what happened with you after you were shot. It took a long time for you to acknowledge everything."

"Are you saying I should call Stanley and set up a session for her?"

Sam shook his head. "I'm just saying that you should just continue to be there for her. She'll deal with everything in her own way and her own time, just like you did."

"Thanks." He waited until Sam was gone before picking up the phone again. He quickly dialed her cell phone, glad that it had survived and was returned to her yesterday.

"Hello?" Donna greeted.

"Hey." He greeted back, relieved to hear her voice. "How are you doing?"

"I'm ok. I saw that you got the President to release the media ban. It's all over the news here."

"What are our Canadian friends saying about it?" He couldn't help but be interested. Having spent some time watching television up there, he had grown used to it. They had a unique perspective on the United States.

"Basically they are glad to see that our President is finally acting like a President again. Though they do wish he would make a personal statement about what happened and what is going to happen." She explained.

"I wish that too." He sighed. "But it is important not to push him too much right now. At least we are having a Senior Staff meeting in a few minutes. That's progress."

"See?" She chuckled. "I knew you should be there. You're doing a great job."

"I want to be there with you though."

Her voice got quiet. "There's nothing for you to do here though. At least there you are productive and making a difference. Can we please not fight about this again?"

"I don't want to fight." He told her honestly. "I just want to make sure you know that I really wanted to be with you."

"I know that."

"How is your mom?"

She laughed. "You picked a good time to call because she is out grabbing some coffee. She is so mad at you for leaving. Apparently she doesn't care that I asked you to go."

"Great." He was starting to think he had made some progress getting Donna's mother to like him. Looks like he may have gone back to square one.

"It will blow over." She assured him. "Are you still upset with me?"

Her question surprised him. "Why would I be upset with you?"

"I practically shoved you out the door last night." She explained. "I just wanted to make sure we were ok."

"We are." He hated to think that she was worried about that. "Look, I know things are weird right now but we are ok. Right? I mean, you know I love you."

"I know." She said in a quiet voice. "And I love you."

"Then everything is going to be fine."

"Ok."

He could tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn't convinced. He looked at his watch and saw that he needed to get going. "I have a meeting with the President I have to get to right now. But I'll call you later."

"Sounds good."

He hated hanging up but knew he couldn't miss the meeting.

"You are making a very fast recovery." Dr. Petty marveled while looking at her chart.

"So when can I get out of here?" She asked. She had been making a list of everything that needed to be done and she wanted to get started on it as soon as possible. There was only so much she could do from across the country.

The staff in the First Lady's office was a mess right now. She called them this afternoon and wasn't surprised that they were freaking out. They weren't sure what they should be doing or even if they still had jobs.

To be completely honest, she wasn't sure what the future held for the First Lady's staff. This was all new to her. But she knew she had to take control. She did her best to calm everyone down and assure them that things were going to be alright. She gave them some nonsense assignments to keep them busy until she could figure out what the game plan was going to for them.

"I'd say if your blood work comes back clear and your ct scan looks good in the morning, we might be able to release you tomorrow." Dr. Petty explained.

"But that's so soon." Gabby marveled. "Are you sure it would be ok?"

"Yes." He nodded. "Your daughter is healing nicely. The only thing that still needs to heal is her wrist, but that will take time and she'll need to find a specialist back home to monitor. There is still a very high chance that she will need to have another surgery or two to repair all of the damage. But that isn't a good reason to keep her in the hospital so far away from home."

"Thank you Dr." She smiled, waiting until he left the room to look over at her mom. "Shouldn't you be glad I can get out of the hospital?"

"Oh of course I am!" Gabby insisted. "You should know that. It's just that…well we almost lost you. I don't want you to get released until you're fine."

"I am fine." She insisted. In reality she didn't feel fine. But she figured she would fake it until it became the truth.