Oblivious: Part 2

He pushed the ice pack harder on his cheek. It stung. Really, it did. After the slap that Lori gave him at the dinner table, he had been holding an ice pack against his face. He really hoped it wasn't swollen. Or red. Or noticeable in any way at all.

He had a million questions. Why did Lori slap him? Was it because he was rude? Was questioning her cooking rude? Maybe she wasn't having a good day. But what really stumped him was the fact that the rest of his sisters seemed to react the same way as she did. When he asked them for answers, they just scoffed at him. Man, that was really OOC of them to do, especially Leni. Did Lincoln really just think OOC in his head? What a fanfiction nerd.

And the topping on the cake was the fact that she would not drive him to school. And no one else did either, even Leni. But only because she still didn't have her driver's license. Not OOC. And that meant that he had to cycle. Ugh, whatever Lori. He literally did not care. Cycling was great, anyways. The open air, the exercise, the great outdoors.

Maybe that was what girls liked. Maybe girls liked boys who spent more time outdoors than boys who spent time indoors. Well, he knew that some of his sisters did. But what about girls in general? Did they like outgoing boys? Did they hate boys who spent time indoors? Where did Lincoln even fit into on the spectrum of indoors and outdoors boys?

Hold off on the thoughts, Lincoln just reached school. He dismounted his bike, locking it with a chain around the bike rack. How nice of the principal to put a bike rack after literal months of petitioning to get one. Lincoln would call him a decent principal if not for the fact that he had flossed during assembly to become hip with the teens. Truly a 'How do you do, fellow kids?' if Lincoln's ever seen one.

"Hey, lame-o!"

He heard the voice of the familiar Latina reverberate in his eardrums. He turned to see Ronnie Anne, still wearing her familiar purple sweater, along with her denim shorts.

Lincoln thought back to the days when they were both kids. Was he ever in love with her? Of course, he was. He was an eleven-year-old boy, who's best friend (second to Clyde) was a girl. If common sense dictates anything, it says that young boys always have crushes on their girl (space) friends.

But all things come to an end, even if it means forcefully pulling it out of your hands and beating yourself up for not being good enough for her. Lincoln never took things further than a platonic relationship, and he was pretty grateful for that. A girlfriend was nice, but having friends was… well, it wasn't nicer, but at least it was a good consolation prize.

"Hey, Ronnie. What's up?"

"Where're your sisters? Don't they usually drive you to school?"

"Yeah, but I think I might've said or done something wrong to make em' angry,"

"Really? What did you say?"

"Well, today was a weird morning…"

Lincoln then explained to her the morning antics of his sisters and him today, leaving no detail spared as he specified what had happened thus far, from the bathroom things to his missing underwear, and to Lori's slap today.

But what he hadn't noticed was Ronnie Anne's face, which from each detail that he explained, had become increasingly flushed and became redder and redder as he continued. By the time he had finished, her face was as red as a tomato.

"... so I guess she was mad cause I was too straightforward or something. What do you think, Ronnie? Ronnie?"

"Huh?! W-what?"

"I asked you for your opinion. What do you think's gotten into them?"

"Um… I-"

But before she could even speak, the school bell had rung, signifying that their time was up, and they were supposed to go to class.

"Oh, nevermind then, Ronnie. Guess I'll see you later then?"

"Y-yeah… see you later, Lincoln,"

Lincoln then turned around and walked to class. He replayed the scenes from the morning over and over in his head. What had gotten into his sisters though, seriously? It was almost as if they were in love with him.

Oddly enough, that was the exact same thing that Lori had said to him. 'I made it with love.' Hmm. If only the school bell had rung later, then he would've at least gotten a trusted friend's opinion from Ronnie. Maybe she wouldn't have given a correct answer, but you always have to trust your friends. Especially females. They always know what's going on.

Speaking of Ronnie, why was he acting so weird to Lincoln? She was always the bold, brash, confident type. She didn't even say a word when he was in the middle of his story. In fact, she looked like she was humiliated or something. Why? Maybe she was jealous that her brother didn't show the same familial love? Probably.

He dismissed the issue as quickly as it came up, attributing to jealousy. Ronnie was always the competitive type. Perhaps everything would clear up by the end of the day.

"So… what do you think, Clyde?"

"Ah… I wish your sister would make breakfast for me…"

"No time for daydreaming, Clyde. I need solid answers,"

The pair continued zooming down the street at an alarming rate as Lincoln cycled faster and faster on the pavement.

"Tell you the truth, I dunno. It could just be familial love,"

"I know right? But Ronnie acted all strange about it,"

"What did she say?"

"Well, it was kinda weird. She said she was jealous of my relationship with my sisters, and she kept on asking what I would do if we were married or if we boyfriend and girlfriend. Then she pushed me against a locker and started furiously making out with me. What do you think it means?"

"She might be into you,"

"Don't be silly. Ronnie? Liking me?" he scoffed.

"Well, what about the rest of your day?"

Lincoln thought about the rest of his day. It certainly was weird. He felt as if he was being stared at for the entire day like people were tracing him with their eyes. Gym class was especially weird. He got picked to be on the Girl Jordan's team, and she squealed in delight for… some reason.

Then during basketball, it was like she tried to go for a sports handshake every time she walked past him. She even tried to encourage Lincoln to give her a sports handshake. He kindly refused.

And during Home Ec, that one brown-haired girl, what was her name again? Chloe? Courtney? Cookie? Probably… Chloe. Anyways, she had offered Lincoln to taste one of her cookies, and Lincoln politely declined. He didn't like raisins, thank you very much. And what he assumed to be a polite turn-down to a polite gesture was stopped when she demanded that he taste it. He continued refusing it, and the teacher had to intervene when she nearly beat him with her cooking pan.

And even after that, during lunch. Cristina had even greeted him, something Lincoln thought she would never do after the "incident" in fifth grade. He still physically cringed at the thought of the video, repressing it in his memories forevermore. But she had greeted him politely out of nowhere, offering to seat with him.

Yet again, out of sheer courtesy and being the chivalrous and ABSOLUTE FOOL he is, he declined the offer. But instead of reacting poorly like the girl from Home Ec (Lincoln had forgotten her name already), she instead ignored him, choosing to sit on his lap instead, gradually moving to the middle of his legs. Lincoln remembered the conversation they had as clear as day.

"Do you have a piece of meat for me?~"

"Meat? I mean… I have an extra ham sandwich,"

He snapped back to the bicycle ride with Clyde.

"It was interesting, I guess."

He ground his bike to a halt outside Clyde's house.

"Guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow,"

But before Lincoln could speed off immediately, he was greeted by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled out his cell to read that it was a phone call from his eldest sister.

He put the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Lori- what? It's… 5.45pm, why? Late? What are you talking about? The sun is still up! I- okay, but- fine. Okay, okay, I'm going. I… love you, too?"

He put his cell back into his pocket.

"Weird."

He reached home in twenty minutes. To a horde of angry sisters.

"We were literally so worried about you!"

"Like, where were you, Linky?"

"You were gone for so long, dude!"

"Butter late than never, I guess!"

"Why didn't you tell us where you were going?"

"You should know that I was this close to contacting the spirits,"

"I needed you to brush my hair twenty minutes ago!"

"Relax! I was out with Clyde!" Lincoln explained.

"Doing what?" Lori asked.

"Uh… guy stuff?"

They gasped.

"Y-you mean…"

Luan held up both her hands, forming an 'OK' sign with her left hand, and shoving her index finger from her right hand into the hole.

"What?! No! Not that guy stuff! We just like… went to the arcade!"

The sister collectively sighed, and Lincoln was unsure whether Luna's sigh was in relief or in frustration. But whatever, he thought. Not wanting to shrug, he merely rolled his eyes before walking back to his room.

Wait! He still had questions about girlfriends. And stuff. And other girl stuff.

"Hold on! I still have a question for you guys- I mean, girls,"

They turned around to face him, eagerly awaiting his question.

"So… Ronnie Anne kissed me at scho- why do you guys look so mad?"

He noticed that their facial expressions had changed from one of eagerness to a face of contempt. Was this the part where they went berserk?

Their hands reached out, grabbing him and squeezing him tightly in the middle of them. It took about five seconds for Lincoln to realize that they were in fact, not squeezing the life out of him but were, in fact giving him a group hug. To be fair, the hug was very tight.

"Ugh, that tramp!"

"What a hussy!"

"She's literally not worth it, Lincoln!"

"Such as skank move, dude!"

Lincoln broke out of their chokehold.

"Woah, woah, woah! What're you saying?"

Lori was the first to speak up.

"What we're saying is… she doesn't actually love you,"

"W-what?! Then why'd she kiss me?"

"Because she's a whore!"

Surprisingly, the obscenity came from Lola, who said it with such emphasis and gusto that the rest of them didn't even register it in their heads.

"Then she's… not in love with me?"

They nodded their heads collectively.

"Then how would I know if a girl's in love with me?"

They didn't have an answer for that and instead shifted uncomfortably in their places. But Lynn had a different idea.

"Here, let me show you how a girl in love with you really kisses~"

She went over to Lincoln and immediately kissed him straight on the lips, without warning or anything. She prodded her way into his mouth, making her way into his mouth, feeling over the back of his teeth, biting his lower lip several times and doing it over and over again.

Lincoln hadn't moved his tongue at all though because he was still in surprise. His eyes widened at first, but they closed soon after he eventually realized what was happening. He didn't move from his place as he saw sparks fly from the sudden move from Lynn.

Lincoln soon responded with moves of his own, moving his own tongue back into Lynn's mouth, to which she responded with a squeal of surprise as he explored the unexplored, going boldly to where no man had gone before. He remembered all the tutorials on making out that he had "researched" before on the internet, and utilized the techniques.

He tilted his head slightly, pushing a little bit farther in until he almost reached the back of her cheeks. He placed his hands around her waist, wrapping Lynn closer to him, giving him some leverage over her. He broke off the kiss for a second, intending to go for her neck. A trail of saliva still connected their mouths, and their ragged breaths showed how tired they were.

"Move over! I've got to see this for myself!"

Lynn was suddenly pushed off by the eldest sister, who seemed flustered that she wasn't the first sister to receive the kiss from him.

"Let me show you how it's really done~"

She crashed her lips into Lincoln's once again, and Lincoln could tell that she was definitely more experienced than Lynn. She had previous experience with her boyfriend, and she was definitely fighting back Lincoln's tongue.

But her time was short as she was also pushed off by Luna, who demanded that she get her turn, who was subsequently pushed off by Luan, who was about to make a pun until she was pushed off by Leni, who had forgotten what they were fighting over.

And just like that, the Loud sisters soon got into a fight over Lincoln, pushing and shoving one another for the right to make out with the ashen-haired boy, who in the middle of all of the ruckus, managed to slip out of their sight.

"Phew, guess they really wanted to teach me, huh?" he said to you. But you could only sit there itching to have a long and hard conversation with him. And by conversation, I mean 'bloody your fist' against his stupid face.

Lincoln walked back into his room, content that his sisters were so enthusiastic about teaching him the basics of love. If his sisters weren't related to him, he'd probably date them cause they were so kind and sweet. But they probably didn't love him as much, even if they were related to him.

He was happy though. Now he had a whole lot more techniques to use against the ladies. And his make-out game was definitely better after that lesson.

"Lincoln."

He jumped in fright and looked over to the bed, only to see Lucy, glistening in the moonlight, her pale and creamy white body, reflecting the light back into Lincoln's eyes. She was… naked.

"Lucy… why are you naked on my bed?"

Lucy was appalled. She thought that Lincoln would at least feel more abashed at the fact that his underage younger sister was literally naked in front of him, laying in a sexually suggestive position.

"L-Lincoln. I have a poem to read to you,"

"Okay, Luce. Lay it on me."

She cleared her throat.

"In brightest day, in darkest night, all of us sisters carry a plight,"

Plight? What burden did his sisters carry?

"Our curse rendered onto us, is love's foul play, from dawn till dusk,"

Love?

"One of our own is who we love, the bunny we have a heart for, sent from above,"

Bunny?

"We hope he knows who he is, for we hope he fucks us senseless."

Was she even allowed to be in his room? And why was she speaking in riddles? And what bunny? And was she allowed to curse?

She stood up, spreading her legs apart, showing off her flower.

"I love you Lincoln. I can't hold it any longer. I've wanted you for so long that it hurts, and now that you can finally know, I want you- no I need you to pound and fuck me senseless until I can no longer recite my own name any more!"

Lincoln placed his hand on his sister's shoulder.

"Hey,"

Lucy stared back into his blue eyes.

"Get the hell out of my room."

He pulled open his door, kicking her straight out the door.

As Lincoln lay on his bed he thought about the things that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. His sisters. Ronnie Anne. Cristina. Uh… Home Ec girl. They all did things that only lovers did to their partners.

Oh my god. Lincoln just had a revelation as she sat up on the bed. The kissing, the making out, the sitting, the constant need for attention. It was finally all clicking into place.

"Oh my god…" Lincoln said.

"T-they all…"

"...were trying to help me get a girlfriend!"

A collective sigh sounded from outside his door.

END