AN:
So I know this chapter was supposed to be Blaine's parents finding out but for some reason I had writers block and then all of a sudden ended up writing this. Sorry if it stretches the plot a but but I thought it was an interesting idea to explore and could be expanded upon later. Also I messed around with the chapters a bit but it is still essentially the same I just combined some stuff together in case you were wondering. Please review!
Blaine slammed the door and collapsed against it, frantically trying to regain a sense of balance and stability. His whole body seemed to shake as he doubled over fighting to draw air into his searing lungs. Tears rolled down his cheeks as Blaine tried and failed to regain control over his flailing limbs. Alarm bells rang in his mind but his racing thoughts obscured everything but a desperate need to gain more oxygen. With every heave of his chest Blaine's limbs grew heavy and his head lighter. Blaine grasped at the handle to try to remain upright but it did little good; he slid slowly down the door into a hopeless heap. Blaine hung his head, settling it on his knees and began to sob in earnest. It had been so long since Blaine had suffered a panic attack and the realisation that this was what was plaguing him made him feel like a small child again.
A soft rap on the door could scarcely be heard over Blaine's laboured breathing. "Blaine?" Kurt asked, "Blaine can you let me in, please." Blaine was panicky and his body was weak from hyperventilating. With a soft, pitiful sigh and every ounce of strength he had left Blaine propelled himself forward, managing to move enough for Kurt to open the door just wide enough to slip through. Kurt knelt gently beside his husband being careful not to touch him in case it worsened his panic attack and spoke reassuringly, "I'm here now, Blaine. You're safe."
Blaine buried his face into Kurt's shoulder and clung to him like a lifeline. "I'm so stupid," he sobbed, the words seemingly directed at neither Kurt nor himself, "I'm so, so stupid."
Now Kurt was crying too as he cradled Blaine in his arms like an infant and rocked him to and fro. "Don't say that," his voice broke. "Don't ever say that as long as you live. You are smart and kind and honest and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, I would ever change about you." A mournful cry rang out from Blaine as though it was physically painful to hear these words come from Kurt. He looked up at Kurt and opened his mouth to object but Kurt shook his head. He reached out and took Blaine's hand, placing it on his chest and breathing in deeply, holding it for three counts and exhaling. "Breathe first, talk later?" Kurt asked and Blaine nodded trying to match the rythm of his breathing to the rise and fall of Kurt's chest. Gradually, Blaine's breathing slowed until it was in unision with Kurt's.
"I'm sorry," Blaine murmered quietly. He felt drained, as though all the energy had been seeped out of his bones. "You shouldn't have to put up with me freaking out like that, it's not your problem."
"Stop blaming yourself," Kurt demanded, staring almost angrily into Blaine's watery, hazel eyes. "It's not your fault that you had a panic attack and it doesn't make you weak or a failure. You've clearly been worrying about something though so you're going to stop pretending you're fine and tell me what's going on. Then we're going to talk about it and come to a solution together, like a team. Because we are a team Blaine and I need you to remember that, okay?"
"I love you," Blaine kissed Kurt. "I feel sort of silly, it isn't even anything all that bad. I'm just so scared to tell my parents and I'm scared that they won't be happy about it even though it's the most amazing thing in the world to me." Blaine reached out and grabbed Kurt's hand but continued talking quickly before Kurt could say anything.
"I'm scared they'll cut me off again because it feels like I only just got them back again. It feels like I'm a kid again having to hide who I am. I don't want to be ashamed of who I am and there's no reason to be but I'm still afraid of people judging me. I hate that people always think the best and dearest things in my life are wrong because you're so perfect and our child is going to be so perfect but people don't care to see that. They just choose to hate blindly." Kurt's eyes were full of pain and Blaine delicately brushed a stray tear aside willing desperately for Kurt not to look so heartbroken.
"I'm really sorry you feel that way but I need you to talk to me when you do. I can't help if you don't tell me. Just promise next time you feel like this you'll let me know." Blaine leant forward and hugged Kurt who was now leaning on him for support.
"I promise," Blaine vowed. "It's going to be alright." And they both knew it always would be, just as long as they had each other.
AN:
Sorry I took a while to update (again, oops) but I already have the next few chapters written so it won't happen again for a while. Please review and leave any comments, critiques, suggestions or anything really. I truly appreciate any and all feedback and it helps me improve my writing in the future!