Chapter 10
I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR CHARACTERS
Bella did not have time to think or react. Rosalie's lips smashed against hers so hard she felt her teeth take the impact. She gave a muffled yelp, eyes wider than wide as everything about the blonde became a palpable sensation in the air. Like Victoria had done in the car, Rosalie unwittingly poured her very being into Bella with her touch, and pheromones made her knees buckle so hard that she almost hit the floor.
Rosalie solved that problem, by grabbing Bella's ass in both hands and yanking her back up with so much force and strength that she cried out against the lips smothering hers as her feet left the floor.
Bella found that to be completely and unnecessarily erotic. Not consciously of course, all her conscious thoughts were composed of swearing and a mindless drone of panic.
Subconsciously though, her body was elated.
Rosalie growled against her parted lips, and then a tongue was in her mouth, tasting of apples and winter as the blonde surged forward, staggering them backward with vampiric speed that turned the world into a smear around her, kissing her and holding Bella so close to her body that all she could feel was the softness of her breasts and the hands gripping her ass painfully, deliciously tight. Rosalie only stopped plowing forward when Bella's back smacked brutally into the kitchen bar, having reached a dead end, which made Bella arch and groan in distress.
All of this happened in the span of about three seconds.
Suffice it to say that Bella was sufficiently brain dead and close to passing out as Rosalie heaved her onto the counter, grabbed her by the hair, and cranked her head back harshly, fully exposing the expanse of her throat, which bobbed tantalizingly at the vampire with Bella's desperate swallowing.
"Rose! Rosalie!" Was that Esme or Carlisle? Bella could not tell. Her senses were attuned only to the vampire all over her.
My god, she wondered, hands clutching at Rosalie's shoulders as her whole body shuddered wickedly. Bella's eyes were still open as wide as they could go, and she watched as Rosalie opened her mouth and let out a hiss akin to the warning of a coiled cobra. Her fangs extended, glistening, and even the outpouring of arousal she had forced upon Bella could not distort the unbridled terror that filled her at the sight of Rosalie posturing like that over her.
"Rosalie!" Bella yelled hysterically. "Stop!"
Yelling stop right then was kind of like when a police officer yells at a fleeing suspect. Pointless, because they obviously wouldn't.
And yet.
Rosalie froze, her mouth open wide and eyes locked on where Bella was sure her blood pumped the strongest. Her eyes were glazed, but at Bella's exclamation, she blinked once, twice, then rapidly, and they seemed to clear. She closed her mouth and furrowed her brow, opened it again, and then looked directly into Bella's eyes. Rosalie had returned to herself, just like that.
"Shit," she deadpanned and pursed her lips.
Alice appeared behind her in a whirl of rage, grabbed her by the waist, and flung her back so hard that she soared across the room and into Carlisle and Esme's arms. Bella collapsed on the kitchen bar that looked out into the living room which Alice had carelessly thrown her sister into. Her skin buzzed, and for a hysterical moment all she could think about were the Five gum commercials where people lay on millions of little metal balls that vibrated their whole bodies. She was gasping for air, lungs heavy with Rosalie's pheromones, and she cowered when Alice turned back to her with hard eyes that were very nearly black.
That did not just happen, was the first conscious thought her brain was capable of producing. That did not just happen.
"Bella, it's okay, sweetie. Come here. Oh god, I'm so sorry, we thought she was okay-" Alice murmured and gently but firmly grabbed her by the wrists and hauled her off the counter. Alice steadied her when she damn near collapsed, shaking violently.
"Alice!" Esme shouted as they barely caught the blond. Rosalie staggered with them with a furious bout of swearing.
"You little shit! I was in control!" Rosalie snarled, though in a completely human sort of way.
Bella looked up at her, Alice's arms around her. Rosalie was struggling in her adoptive parents' arms, but they held her still as easily as if she were a small child. Even as Bella watched, Rosalie's skin seemed to be gaining some sort of glow, some color, losing the pale porcelain look. Yet her hair was wild, stray strands flying from her ponytail in a genuinely messy way instead of the deliberately ruffled look vampires usually had when they were mussed up. She gasped for air that she suddenly actually needed, and she trembled, but true to her nature, she remained incredibly pissed despite all the changes occurring in her body. The ragged bite marks littering her shoulder were an ugly, prominent red, and Bella saw a vein straining in the side of her neck.
Obviously, her bites were doing their job. Unfortunately, a side effect of that job had been to spur into kissing Bella, which made no sense what-so-fucking-ever.
"You call that in control?" Alice shouted furiously. "Acting like you're oh so perfect while you were a second away from ripping out her throat?"
"Alice-Rosalie-" Carlisle tried to interject, but it was fruitless.
"Fuck you!" Rosalie exploded, and jerked her arms so angrily that even though her strength seemed to have waned, her parents still released her. "I was fine, unlike you. At least I stopped myself, you sure as hell didn't. Remember those bruises she wore for a week after you got done with her? Or were those hickeys from all the times you guys 'hung out' together?"
Alice's growl reverberated in Bella's ear drums and she flinched, but Alice let go of her so fast she almost fell to the floor. She managed to keep her balance by flailing for the counter behind her and clinging to it like a lifeline, still weak from Rosalie's assault.
It would be nice if Rosalie could stop with her attack on the true nature of her friendship with Alice, too. She was starting to really give Bella a headache.
"Keep it up, Rosalie-I swear-" Alice rumbled, but Rosalie gave a derisive scoff.
"Oh, you can dish it out, but you can't take it?" she snapped haughtily, though her hand came up to her shoulder, brushing at the bite marks. "Isn't that just like you, acting like you're so much better than everyone else. You're the one that almost killed her-"
"God, don't even pull that superior tone with me, you bitch! You were the one about to sink your fangs into her throat!" Alice burst out and stormed into the living room to go a foot away from a sneering Rosalie. Bella found the insult sounded wrong coming out of Alice's mouth, but the girl wasn't done. "Wasn't it you giving her so much crap for liking girls, claiming she wanted you and then you jump her like a bitch in heat? Oh, that's rich, isn't it? Who's acting out Sapphic fantasies now?"
Rosalie slapped her.
Hard.
Right across the mouth.
The crack of it rang out in the room uncomfortably loudly. Alice tensed so hard that Bella stood up straight, spine painfully erect in anxiety. Esme gasped and moved between them while Carlisle barked at Rosalie in a fatherly tone Bella had never heard from him before.
"Rosalie Lillian Hale!" he reprimanded
Bella found both of their accusations to be entirely unfair. Alice was judging Rosalie for doing the same thing she had done when bitten, and Rosalie was…Well, being Rosalie.
However, Alice only worked a muscle in her jaw, and they stared each other down over Esme's shoulder, Alice seething, Rosalie glaring back fearlessly. They were nose to nose, Alice standing impossibly still with a face so cold it was giving Bella chills from across the room. Bella was sure if Rosalie was not to the point where Alice hitting her would likely kill her in one blow that they would be physically fighting. She was unbelievably grateful that they weren't, because vampire fights were sure to be very violent, and very messy.
"What's the matter, Alice?" Rosalie murmured in a soft voice screaming of mockery. "Jealous? Did seeing someone touch your precious Bella make you mad? Need to lay down the law, make sure everyone knows she's yours?"
"You know what, Rosalie-"
Esme had enough, and before Alice could get out whatever scathing response every single one of them could hear at the back of her bristling, enraged tone, she pushed them apart.
"Enough!" she yelled. "Stop it, right now. Both of you. Alice, go take care of Bella and start acting like a proper friend and not a child. Rosalie, one more word out of you and you're going to get a taste of what you just gave Alice, little girl. Don't push me, I don't care if you are a hundred and thirteen and almost human right now, I will bend you over my knee faster than you can say another awful thing!"
Rosalie looked fully scandalized and mortified at her mother at the thought of being spanked, but she kept her mouth locked shut as Alice scowled and whirled on her toes, eyes black and furious. She blurred over to a stunned stupid Bella, making her blanch in surprise.
"Come on," she muttered and grabbed Bella by the arm, immediately beginning to drag her away from the scene they'd made.
Bella did not get much of a choice but to follow. Her grip was almost too tight and Bella stumbled to keep up with her as Carlisle and Esme went off on Rosalie behind them, the sound of the girl's protesting voice echoing. Alice pulled her all the way to the staircase and up it, down the hallway, into her room, and kicked the door shut behind her.
By this time, Bella was utterly fed up with being dragged like a dog on a leash, and her legs were seconds away from giving out.
"Will you stop it?" she snapped, yanking her arm out of Alice's grip. Alice came to an abrupt halt and turned back around to face her with eyes that were as wild as Bella had seen them in a long time. It was a peculiar sort of wild and it made her hesitate; it was not that Alice wasn't in control of herself physically. She was not showing signs of going vampire mode or anything, but the emotion in her swirling eyes seemed to be a hurricane, and when she stared into Bella the brunette could feel that gaze claw at her with some unknown force.
"Alice, calm down," she mumbled, rubbing at her wrist where Alice had grabbed her and trying to get herself together. She had barely been given a reprieve from Rosalie's pheromones before she had been forcefully drug all the way up here and made to use her shaky legs, and now Alice was looking at her like that…
At her plea, though, Alice seemed to shake out of it. She took a heavy breath and sighed deeply.
"I-I am calm. I'm sorry, Bella. It was wrong of me to behave that way. She just makes me so mad-and she almost bit you…I should have moved faster. But I've never seen Rosalie move that quickly…Then again, she's always been an explosive kind of person…Are you okay?" Alice inquired with concern, but Bella shrugged and stuck her hands into her jacket pockets unsurely, standing in the middle of Alice's room.
This was not how she had seen this night going.
She had been putting off stressing about going back to school Monday (Charlie wasn't buying her fake cough over the phone) especially since Alice would not be there to support her through the immediate fall out, and now this had happened.
Her belly was still knotted with arousal, and the way Alice had looked at her had not helped. She found it unnerving that she could not read her friend when she usually always could, and when her nerves were already so shot from practically being mounted by someone who hated her, who moments before she thought she had killed, it was hard to keep calm.
What am I doing with my life? She wondered.
"Yeah, I guess. Don't worry about it, I don't think any of us saw that one coming…Shit, did Rosalie just kiss me?" Bella realized how absurd the mere notion was, especially considering the fact that it had actually happened.
The thought did not gross her out as much as it probably should have. Damned lesbianism or bisexualism or whatever the fuck affecting her desires so cruelly as to make her actually not disgusted at the thought of locking lips with Rosalie of all people.
Her body was anything but disgusted if the way it kept thrumming were any indication, and Alice only scowled and looked away from her.
She had been scowling far too much lately. But then of course, it was completely justified. Things had been pretty hectic, and though the past few days had been great, they had come full circle back to what had jarred them in the first place.
Bella was starting to think she should have just said no. She hated to see Alice anything but joyful.
"Yes. I really am sorry Bella. You could have been really hurt. I swear I would never have let her get her teeth in you, though. She caught me off guard but I was already moving to get my arm between her mouth and your throat. I would have been there even faster, but the last thing I expected was for her to kiss you-God, honey, I'm so sorry," Alice apologized again, ever ashamed of herself for anything that put Bella in harm's way whether it was her fault or not.
And as always, Bella refused to let her take any of the blame on herself. It wasn't her fault anyway.
"It's fine," she shook her head, even though it wasn't really. Her insides were still pumped up on pheromones, and Bella found it hard to meet Alice's eyes when she felt like this because her growing appreciation for her best friend's looks was getting a little out of hand at this point.
"It's not," Alice groaned and put one hand to her forehead, expression twisting into one of anguish.
"Alice-"
"It's not, Bella. This is the second time you've come this close to being bitten-maybe the third because I never know what the hell Victoria's going to do, and I just-I'm being a really shitty friend because I'm keeping stuff from you that you deserve to know, and I keep almost getting you killed, and that honestly terrifies me, because I hate to see you hurt because you're my best friend and I just-" Alice ranted, but Bella made a face at her in concern.
"Alice, hey, slow down. Alice, look at me. Breathe," she said, startled by the outburst. She would have put a hand on Alice's shoulder, but yeah, the whole Rosalie thing still hadn't worn off.
Alice shut her mouth and pursed her lips, staring at Bella with shining eyes.
Is she crying? Bella winced. Why are her eyes getting watery? Alice crying was one step above kicked puppies for Bella on the heartbreaking scale, and sometimes when her face got all hurt or upset it was even beneath it.
"Hey, where is this coming from, Alice? Talk to me," she prodded, worry in her voice. She ducked her head to properly gaze at the vampire, who shrugged and folded her arms.
"I don't know," Alice mumbled. "We never should have done this. I should have told Carlisle to drop it the moment he brought it up," she lamented unhappily and Bella did not get the chance to scoff at her for thinking so stupidly because there came a knock at the door and the sound of voices arguing.
"Esme, stop it, I'm not going to yell at them or anything. No-Will you stop looking at me like that?"
It was Rosalie's voice on the other side of the door, and Alice's reaction was immediate.
"Get back," she ordered, and Bella frowned at the tone of it.
That was a little bossy. She appreciated the gravity of the situation, but still.
"Bella," she insisted, softening her voice pleadingly, and Bella warily made her way over to the bed and restlessly plopped down on it, folding her arms around her middle and watching Alice uncertainly, who blurred over to the door. She hesitated with her hand on the doorknob, and when she turned it, she barely opened the door a crack.
Was this really that big of a deal? Her libido said yes, but precedent had suggested Rosalie physically losing it was not out of the question. The kiss had been a freaking blindside more than anything else, especially because unlike with Alice it had been unprovoked on Bella's end (not to mention they didn't even like each other and for what Bella knew Rosalie was totally straight) but it had all sorta worked out okay. Bella was more than curious to know what the hell was up with her mouth now, doing that to even Rosalie…
Bella jumped when the image of the blond appeared in the tiny gap. She glanced at Alice in panic, but the vampire just stared her sister down.
"Open up, I promise I'm not going to bite this time. Scout's honor," Rosalie groused and Bella winced at the bad tasting joke.
Uh, no thank you.
She was definitely not interested in talking to Rosalie after that little fiasco, or ever again, for that matter. The stinging ripostes she would undoubtedly have ready on her vicious tongue did not interest Bella in the slightest.
Alice only stared, and Bella heard Esme say faintly, "Alice, it's okay."
Grumbling, she let go of her death grip on the door, and Rosalie immediately barged in, rolling her eyes. Oh thanks, Alice.
Why did she not simply slam the door shut and to hell with whatever Rosalie could possibly want?
Bella watched Rosalie enter with the trepidation of a prisoner sentenced to death, Esme hovering less than a foot behind her adopted daughter, and flinched when Rosalie stormed right over to her. Her hazel eyes glinted prettily in the light of Alice's room and Sonofabitch!
She stood up fast, legs quivering and light headed as blood rushed to her skull, but Rosalie's proximity cleared more than five feet between them and she staggered back, nearly falling flat back on the bed as the air surged, smelling and tasting of apples, pine trees and sunshine. Alice appeared at her side in a split second and an arm slung around her waist, keeping her upright, but barely.
She knew the movement was meant to be comforting, but at this rate, it only made things worse. She could feel every single one of Alice's individual fingers clinging to her right hip.
"That's close enough!" she barked, and Rosalie halted, her lips tightening.
"Rosalie!" Carlisle's voice called out. Apparently he was up here too, and Bella had to glue herself to Alice's side to keep on her feet despite her issues with being close to the vampire, or any vampire at this point. Rosalie backed up a pace, grimacing, but continued to peer at them with her usual haughty expression. Carlisle swiftly walked right up next to his daughter and then both he and his wife gripped either of her arms, which only made the blonde's mouth thin out even further.
She could seethe about it all she wanted. If Carlisle and Esme let go of her again, mistakenly believing her to be in control, she was going out the window.
Fuck that.
Her body could love it all she wanted. She wasn't locking lips with Rosalie again, so help her god. That was more mortifying than almost being bitten by her.
"Sorry, sorry," Rosalie grunted, and even in her haze Bella could see her face was flushed, something vampire faces were incapable of. The color was disconcerting on a usually colorless face. "I forgot, sorry. Chill the fuck out, Swan."
Easy for her to say. Bella's thighs were squeezed so tightly that it was a wonder nobody could see them flexing.
Was she even breathing air anymore, or was that all Rosalie? It was entirely unnerving how good Alice felt pressed to her side…
"What do you want, Rosalie?" Alice's voice was strained, barely civil.
Rosalie gave her the evil eye briefly before rolling them when Esme made a noise beside her, indicating she hurry up. "Look…" she started, sounding gruff. She cleared her throat, gave a bitter laugh that sounded anything but amused, and then looked directly at Bella.
Not helping. Rosalie was still too close, and all Bella could think of was how it had felt to kiss her, how Rosalie's plush lips had felt against her own, and the way she had grabbed for her ass like a woman possessed.
And how the weight of Alice's arm felt slung around her waist…
"I just came up here to say-" Rosalie choked up as if the words had caught in her throat, then growled. "I just came to say I'm sorry," she practically spat out.
Stunned, Bella straightened a little, and Alice's arm tightened protectively around her.
Not.
Helping.
Alice.
But no, seriously. She had to be joking, setting them up for an inevitably devious pun designed to make them feel awful.
"I didn't mean to jump your bones like that, Swan, even though I'm pretty sure you liked it anyway. And sorry for scaring you or whatever. Seriously. I thought I had it under control, and I didn't," Rosalie muttered, every word coming out like someone was trying to pull her teeth as she said it.
Did Rosalie really just…Apologize?
Hold the phone. Bella glanced at Alice, not even registering their closeness in her shock. Alice looked as surprised as Bella felt, eyebrows high. Bella looked at Esme, who was looking at her daughter with blatant disbelief. Even Carlisle was blinking uncertainly.
"Those bites sure are wicked, Swan. So sorry to you too, I guess, half pint. I guess I forgot how good she smelled, and I never knew it would feel like that. And hell, who knew even I could be tempted by you, Swan?" Rosalie rolled her eyes slowly, still too close for comfort though she did not realize it. "So yeah. Sorry and whatever. That was all. Bye," Rosalie finished her apology, sounding beyond uncomfortable, and with that, she pulled back and Bella watched in honest-to-god awestruck dumbfoundery as she turned and her parents let her go.
Esme went with her, both just in case Rosalie lost it again (though Bella doubted she would, the bite seemed to have already finished transforming the girl which was what seemed to cause the initial violent behavior) and also because she was eagerly praising her for apologizing.
Rosalie had just apologized.
What was the world coming to? Why would she ever do a thing like that?
Carlisle stayed behind, and he gave Bella a tentative smile.
"Isabella, I apologize as well, completely for the behavior of both my daughters," he said pointedly, to which Alice bristled. Bella subconsciously put a hand on the arm around her waist to keep her calm, without even thinking about it. She felt hot, however, when Carlisle's eyes glanced down at it, and she abruptly took a full step to the right, Alice's arm sliding off of her easily.
Okay.
That was fucking weird.
The point was moot because her whole life was getting really fucking weird, but squirming, Bella gave him a weak smile and feeble nod.
"It's fine. We should have expected something like that. I thought she might get riled up, I just didn't expect to be…Er, kissed," Bella trailed away as she realized Rosalie had just kissed her and groped her in front of both the Cullen parents.
Oh my god.
She blushed brightly, but Carlisle just hummed softly.
Awkward, awkward, awkward. This was completely freaking awkward.
"I did not expect that either. I don't think any of us did, and that was why Alice did not see it coming," he replied. "It appears your bite may also stir sexual arousal and that is a very peculiar thing indeed…Perhaps Alice may have been provoked to such a reaction whether or not her pheromones provoked you first. Anyway, you've given me a lot to think about and study Bella, and I will be getting back to you once I know more. I'm so very grateful that you took this risk for us when you did not have to. I'm sorry you were almost hurt, but rest assured, none of us would have let her bite you. I believe Alice was fully capable of getting in the way first."
Alice was shifting on her feet and Carlisle noticed. They shared a long suffering look that Bella had no idea how to take, and finally Carlisle faced her again.
"Bella, forgive me, but would you terribly mind staying up in Alice's room for the rest of the night? I hope you are not distrustful of our ability to keep you safe anymore, as Rosalie catching us off guard was a one time thing, guaranteed, but still. I would like to run some medical tests on her and I do not want to take the chance that something should happen. It would be best for you to be safe and tucked away rather than us having to get you out of harm's way should harm arise," Carlisle politely suggested in a way that wasn't really suggesting.
Bella could take a hint just fine and had no desire to argue with him anyway. She had done her part in biting Rosalie and was already pretty much regretting it considering the consequences (her lips still felt bruised and swollen).
"Um…Yeah, sure. No problem," she shrugged, and he inclined his head towards her in acknowledgment.
"Alice, will you please accompany me downstairs? I require your assistance on a few matters and there are some things I wish to discuss with you privately as well," Carlisle asked.
Alice nodded and said, "Of course, Carlisle. I'll be down in a minute."
Carlisle gave Bella one last gentle smile and then exited the room, walking swiftly but at a human pace.
"Bella…" Alice immediately began once he was gone and the brunette cut her off.
"Alice, stop. I'm fine. She didn't bite me. I think I'm scarred for life over being kissed by Rosalie, but it's no big deal. She even apologized, which I will never understand. You're not an awful friend. None of this has been your fault, and I don't blame you at all. You're the best friend I've got, ever had really, and I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself," Bella said and all the fight went out of Alice instantly at her reassuring words.
Alice's eyes were still the color of night and they gazed at her with more of that unreadable, swirling emotion that Bella could not place.
"Okay. I'm sorry anyway, but okay," she mumbled.
"Alice?" Carlisle's voice called up to them and the vampire glanced at the door.
"I'm coming!" she called back and turned back to Bella. "I guess I gotta go. Look, we'll talk later okay? You should try and get some sleep in the meantime. It's getting pretty late, and you've got school tomorrow," she added.
Well shit.
She had completely forgotten that.
"Yeah, okay. And seriously, don't beat yourself up anymore or anything," Bella said firmly, smothering her dread over school, which would only get her even more worked up when she was still trying to calm down. Alice looked at her then with that odd expression on her face, and then smiled in a way that did not quite reach her eyes.
"I'll try. See you later. I shouldn't be gone too long," Alice muttered, and then darted for the door before Bella could even say, "Later."
Bewildered at her behavior, and everything else that had occurred in the past month, she finally just sighed and dropped her head into her hands, resolving not to think about any of it at the present moment. She could already feel the headache pressing into the back of her frazzled mind, so she busied herself changing into her pajamas-a black short sleeved t-shirt and dark blue short shorts. She crawled into Alice's bed after, and felt no shame when she plopped her face into one of the vampire's pillows, and the girl's soothing scent wafted up around her.
This is insane, she thought, face down in Alice's aroma. How does she expect me to sleep after that?
She spent a few minutes trying to sort everything through in her brain to calm the storm in it, but none of it helped. Eventually it got to the point where she could only replay the kiss with Rosalie over and over in her head like some nightmarish video tape, remembering how good her tongue had felt and tasted in her mouth, and when that started an ache up again between her thighs, the tape switched to memories of kissing Alice, and almost kissing Alice and-
Fuck, I hate being gay! She thought angrily and banished the images by flooding her brain with fluffy white sheep jumping fences.
Like she was ever going to sleep now.
She throbbed wetly, uncomfortably at the apex of her thighs, and she could not bear to think about any of it anymore. She lay awake, wired, for what must have been two hours, getting more and more anxious as the time crawled by.
First this, now school tomorrow…
The moonlight was bright as it came through Alice's window. As Bella stayed wide awake and staring up at the pale orb in the sky, miserable and confused and trying not to think about any of it, Alice's clock blinked to 11:30, and the tiny vampire finally came back in.
So much for it not taking too long.
Bella stirred but did not roll over at the quiet sound of the door opening and shutting across the room with a barely audible click. Whisper soft footsteps were the only sign of Alice's approach, and Bella sighed deeply when she felt the bed dip next to her. The scent clinging to Alice's pillow was nowhere as good as the real thing, and Bella was struck with the sudden urge to cry it all out, when that aroma surrounded her.
"You never went to sleep, did you?" Alice whispered.
"Nope," Bella whispered back, and had to close her eyes and bite the inside of her lip when hot tears sprang to them. A cool hand lay across the side of her head facing up and Alice began to absentmindedly stroke her hair. Her chest ached for everything that she was experiencing, but she held in the tears with everything she had.
Alice did not say anything else and neither did she because she was afraid if she opened her mouth again she would start sobbing like an emotionally fragile teenage girl (which she was), but as any emotionally fragile teenage girl would, she melted into the bed at the feeling of Alice's fingers lightly dragging through her locks, the tips brushing her scalp.
After a moment the urge to cry eased and Bella began to lull, sinking further into the mattress. It did not take long for her to relax and drowsiness to overcome her. As she treaded the precipice of sleep and consciousness, emotions and thoughts dying under Alice's petting hand, she heard the vampire murmur something that sounded like "I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you, Bella, I promise."
And off she went into dreamland, forgetting she had ever even heard Alice say a word.
Alice drove her to school the next day, getting her out of the house early before anyone else, and she might as well have been driving the car straight to hell for how Bella felt during the whole ride. She did not even have the presence of mind to question Alice about whether or not they had learned anything else after running those tests on Rosalie. It did not help that Alice was unusually silent, that she did not even blast her ridiculous rap music or even really talk or look at Bella at all the whole way.
Bella did not know why Alice was so quiet, but it was making her feel even worse. Her stomach had turned to a puddle of acid, she thought she might puke, and her hands were sweating by the time they pulled into the parking lot. She had finally turned her phone back on this morning after her weekend retreat from her problems that had ended just in time to set her up for going back to school. She had a total of fifteen texts from Angela, Jessica, Eric, and Mike, and eight missed calls.
Looking down at the evidence of her ignoring them, she could only hopelessly delete all the texts without reading them, a sinking feeling pulling her down further. She could not make herself see what they had to say. Undoubtedly they would be disgusted, attacking her, cutting off their friendships. They had proved that enough squealing about Coach Basselor, and Mike and Eric were both regular churchgoers.
Bella tried not to cry.
What she desperately needed was for Alice to comfort her, reassure her, but the pixie did nothing but put the car in park and turn to look at her, not saying a thing. Bella gazed back, waiting for something, anything, for Alice to do what she always did and make everything better, say the magic words that would make it all okay even if she could not be here for Bella today.
"Alice?" she mumbled uncomfortably.
Alice only stared, expressionless. The only emotion Bella could find was in her swirling golden eyes, and even then she did not recognize it.
Why won't she say something? Why is she looking at me like that? Bell agonized, her throat beginning to close.
Bella suddenly couldn't stand it another second. She accepted the fact that Alice genuinely had nothing to say after a whole three minutes of silence as much as it boggled her and hurt her and confused her. She unsnapped her belt buckle and roughly grabbed the door handle, preparing to launch out of the car and speed walk to the school, hoping nobody would recognize her in the parking lot before she could disappear inside. She did not have the ability to fret over whatever was making Alice act like this. All of her fretting was aimed at this sure to be an awful day of school.
"Bella, wait!" Alice exclaimed and Bella tensed, her breath catching.
Oh, now she has something to say?
"What?" she said gruffly, sitting back and sinking down into the seat so her face was not so visible through the window. The parking lot was flooding with students starting to arrive.
"Bella…" Alice murmured and Bella turned to face her, jaw clamped shut and chest aching.
Alice put a hand on her shoulder that sent tingles through her even through the fabric of her hoodie, and something about it felt like a red flag.
She's acting really, really weird. Like weirder than her usual brand of weird. Like bad weird, Bella thought nervously. And there was a reason.
"Honey, I've been thinking. Lately we've been spending a lot of time together, and I'm starting to think we might need to…You know, not," Alice said slowly, cautiously, and Bella stiffened. She knew she must have looked wounded almost instantly because Alice hurried on.
"Bells, it's not because I don't want to hang out with you, you know I do, but ever since all this biting stuff started, things have been kind of crazy. And I just think…We might be getting a little too…Close…For comfort," Alice continued, her every word twisting a knife into Bella's already unstable heart. She shrugged out from under Alice's hand and faced forward, her stomach dropping.
What is she talking about? Does she mean…Does she mean what happened in the kitchen? Or maybe she's talking about when she wiped the lipstick off my mouth…God, of course I wasn't the only one who thought it was weird, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal…I didn't think she cared, I thought it was just a fluke or two, not a declaration of love or anything…Shit, does she think I'm into her? Is that why she's being this way? Am I into her?
"You're the one that asked me to hang out this weekend," Bella reminded her in a small voice, refusing to touch on the more sensitive side of the subject they were on. The car seemed tinier somehow, and the air harder to breathe.
"I know," Alice replied softly. "I know, and I don't think I should have. Things have been weird between us lately, and you know it. Things are…Different now that we both like girls, and I think you need some time to adjust. And with all this stuff going on with your bite too, it's not such a good idea for you to be hanging around vampires so much…"
Alice never was one to pussyfoot around that elephant squishing Bella into the seat. Her chest was so tight she did not think her lungs could inflate anymore.
Why did she have to do this now? Now, when Bella needed her most? Why could it not have waited? Why could they not have dealt with whatever weird air was between them later, after Bella dealt with her forced coming out?
"Okay," was all she could choke out, staring straight ahead through the windshield. Kids were laughing and talking and chattering on obliviously as they walked towards the school, not noticing them at all. Suddenly the fact that she had been outed to all of them did not seem so urgent anymore.
Alice doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. She probably doesn't even want to be friends anymore. God, why did you have to be such a stupid idiot, Bella, acting like that around her? You were getting a pathetic crush on her and you both know it, and she's too nice to tell you to get lost.
A quiet voice in the back of her mind reminded her that Alice had acted weirdly towards her too, pinning her to the counter in the kitchen and staring into her eyes in the parking lot, standing so close to her, nearly kissing her, but she wrote it off, figuring she must have imagined it all in a different way than it had really happened in her newfound sexuality like Alice seemed to be suggesting.
It felt like they were dating and Alice had said they take a break, which really meant that it was over. And maybe that was a sign that she was right; they did need to spend some time apart, if this was how Bella felt about a friend saying they needed to spend some time apart. It wasn't necessarily unreasonable, what Alice was suggesting, but it still felt out of the blue.
"Okay. If you think we should stop hanging out, that's fine. Sorry if I was bothering you or anything," Bella said in a strained voice and before she could break down crying, she shoved the car door open and surged out.
It still hurt like a son of a bitch to be told to get lost by her best friend.
"Bella! Bella, wait, I didn't say-"
She shut the door as gently as her muscles would allow when wound so tight, and so it slammed, cutting off Alice mid-sentence. She heard the girl get out on the other side, but she was already hurrying off as fast as she could go. She put her head down, hunched her shoulders, with her hands in her pockets, praying no one would see her face. Alice gave her away, god damn it, by calling her name, but she did not stop and did not turn back, and Alice, for once in her life, did not follow her.
And maybe that was what hurt the most; that Alice did not come after her to reassure her that they were still friends and everything would be fine, and made the first few tears fall from her eyes as she stepped into the school to face the fallout of her outing by her goddamned History teacher, completely and utterly…
Alone.
She had never realized just how many people attended this school as she watched them swarming in the hallways, heart pounding. She swiftly wiped her face free of the tears, her anxiety over Alice being once more overtaken.
If she had any doubts before that everyone would know by now, they vanished the instant she began walking down the hall, and the loud background conversation dulled to a hush. Everyone she passed glanced at her, whispered to their friends, hissed behind their hands. Social sites like Facebook, Twitter, and how interconnected everything in Forks was had been her downfall. The few who did not give her a second look were far outnumbered by the ones who did, and she practically bolted to her first period classroom, darting through the doorway as every eye in the world followed her.
And ran smack into Jessica and Angela.
Both girls staggered back as the one who had stumbled into them struggled to catch her balance.
"Who the F-"
"Jesus-"
"Shit-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Bella froze, clutching the strap of her backpack tightly in one hand, mouth open.
"Hey, Bella," Angela said, but not in a friendly way.
Bella took a heavy breath at the tone as her Asian friend crossed her arms and quirked an eyebrow at her.
Not good.
"Hey, pal," Jessica snarked next to her, also crossing her arms.
Really, really not good.
She had not expected to run into them so fast. Great. This was just what she needed.
Bella glanced around the room, seeing it was mostly empty because Alice had brought her so early (only so she could deliver a wicked blow to her already damaged emotional psyche). Ms. Shanty was typing away at her computer, and the only other students in the room were seated at a few random tables, the nerds who always arrived to class early.
"Hi," she swallowed and flinched when the bell rang, signaling all in the school to report to first period.
She yelped, however, when they both lunged forward and grabbed a hold of her when she tried to swoop past them and pretend like this wasn't happening.
"Hey-don't-"
Her protests were useless and Ms. Shanty was too, because she did not even look up when they both hauled her to the back of the classroom and unceremoniously shoved her down onto a seat at the table in front of her and Alice's usual one.
Fear twisted her belly as they both dropped down onto a seat at the table with her, Angela across from her on the opposite side and Jessica right next to her. Why the hell were there so many seats at this table, anyway? There were usually only two, and now there were four. One more was on the wrong side of the table next to Angela, waiting to be occupied.
"What are you guys doing?" Bella hissed anxiously. "You can't both sit here-"
"It's group work today, so we can," Angela informed her in a hard voice and pointed to the board at the front of the classroom behind her, where indeed, Ms. Shanty's terrible handwriting sprawled along the whiteboard and read Group Work today, four to a group ONLY. We will be dissecting frogs. NO FLINGING OF AND/OR EATING OF BODY PARTS.
"Oh," Bella said meekly, shrinking further when they both glared at her.
They hated her.
They absolutely hated her, and she was about to feel the wrath of their God come down on her head. Surely that was it. Surely she was about to burst out bawling if they said even one mean thing to her, began making fun of her for being gay, anything at all would set her off-
"Why the hell haven't you been answering our calls?" Angela snapped, leaning forward on the table as people began spilling into the classroom.
"Or out texts?" Jessica added angrily under her breath next to her.
Because I didn't want to experience what I am now? She thought helplessly, squirming. Would she look psychotic if she made a break for the door?
Probably.
"Because I was busy?" she tried.
No go.
"Busy what, making out with Alice all weekend?" Jessica hissed at her and Bella blanched, eyes welling up instantly.
There it was.
And here it comes, she thought, gritting her teeth and biting hard on her lower lip.
"Jess," Angela growled at her, and Jessica backed off with a huff. "Bella-hey, stop. Don't cry. Damn it, Jessica, see what you did?"
"Are you crying?" Jessica looked alarmed. "Whoa, hey hun, don't do that. I was kidding, I didn't mean-"
Bella sniffled and snapped back, "No, I'm not crying." She was, but she wiped away the tears furiously. "Look, if you're both just here to make fun of me, or attack me or whatever, I don't care. If you don't want to be friends anymore that's fine but don't-"
"What?" they both gawked simultaneously at her, and she knit her brow back at them.
Why the looks?
"Don't want to be friends anymore? Is that why you haven't been answering your phone?" Angela inquired, sounding dumbfounded.
"Uh," Bella said, straightening at the looks she was receiving. Confusion took the place of hurt and she folded her arms uncertainly around her middle.
"We've been worrying our asses off all weekend over you and that's why you wouldn't even take two seconds to let us know you were okay?" Angela's voice rose but Jessica shh'd her when people looked around at them.
"Yes?" Bella answered unsure and Jessica scoffed beside her.
"What the hell, Bella? Why would you think that? We were trying to make sure you weren't at home committing suicide after you ran out so fast. We even went to your house to check and Charlie told us you were hanging out with Alice," Jessica revealed, sounding pissed.
Oh.
Oh, um…Oh.
Huh.
Well.
Bella blinked at them in shock and cocked her head, not quite getting it though surely her ears were not lying to her.
"You were worried about me?" she inquired softly, slowly starting to understand she might have been a teensy bit off point about why they were so angry at her.
"Yes," Angela affirmed exasperatedly. "Why do you think we called you so much? What, did you think we hated you or something?"
Yes.
"No," Bella lied, her heart hesitantly lifting.
They didn't hate her? They had cared, had worried over her?
Really?
"Did you think we were going to spout bible verses at you or some shit?" Jessica groused.
"No, I just-" Bella stammered as Ms. Shanty stirred, preparing to begin teaching. "I thought…"
"Well, you thought wrong," Angela huffed and sat back, crossing her arms and giving her the stink eye. "Whatever you thought was wrong, because we don't hate you or any dumb shit like that."
Bella never thought she would be so happy to see her friends angry with her, if only because she was so wrong about why they were. Her stomach reappeared where it was supposed to be and her heart dropped out of her throat in delight.
I was wrong, she thought, the realization dawning on her face. I was wrong. Oh my god, I was wrong!
They weren't mad because she was gay. They were mad because she had ignored them all weekend.
"We barely even understood what happened before you ran off with Alice. She's not your only friend you know. If that's even what you guys are, which we don't care," she added quickly when Angela frowned at her.
"I thought you guys would freak. I mean, aren't you? Freaked out? I'm-I'm-"
Bella couldn't force the word 'gay' out when there were so many people in the room, many of who were whispering much more than normally and watching her too closely.
"I like girls," she finished, then mentally hit herself with a hammer for reminding them of that in case she caused them to have the reaction she had originally been expecting.
"No," Angela replied immediately, looking offended. Jessica shifted and Bella glanced at her uneasily.
"So you do? Like girls?" Jessica asked uncertainly and then scowled at the looks she got from both of them, Bella nervous and Angela reprimanding.
"Yes," Bella answered honestly, though it almost hurt to do so.
"Well, we figured as much by the way you reacted, not to mention that text message," Jessica mumbled. "It was fucked up of Gordon to do that, too. It's whatever though. I mean yeah, it's kinda weird and maybe a little gross, but whatever. I don't care, it's whatever you're into. My aunt's a lesbian too and it never really bothered me before. She's the coolest one out of all of them anyway, she even rides this really sick Harley to all the family reunions. I don't think you're as butch as her though, Bella."
Bella felt affection well up in her at Jessica's awkward ranting, because even though her friend was clearly a little uncomfortable talking about it, she was doing her best in her own way to reassure Bella that she didn't care, and that? That meant more than anything in the world right then.
They didn't care.
Angela winced at Jessica's lack of tact and said, "I think she gets it, Jess. Do you, Bella? Do you get it?"
"Yeah, I think I do," Bella beamed at them both and they both rolled their eyes and grinned playfully at her dopey expression. She couldn't help it.
All that relief zipping through her chest felt too good.
"Thanks for all the faith in us, jerk," Jessica joked and she instantly felt guilty.
They were right to be mad, of course. She should have known better than to assume so much so quickly. She should have at least given them the benefit of the doubt before assuming the worst.
Angela, however, suddenly slapped a hand to her forehead. "Oh my god, no wonder you were so scared!" she gasped. "Dude, I totally forgot we made fun of Coach Basselor right in front of you. Hell, Bella, we never meant-We were only joking-"
"Shit, I forgot that too," Jessica grimaced. "Angela's right, we totally didn't mean anything by it, we were just being stupid."
"It's okay," Bella told them sincerely. She understood what they were trying to say. Thankfully, their jokes about Coach Basselor had been nothing more than teenage immaturity, not genuinely hateful remarks, and Bella knew by the looks on their faces that that was the truth.
"Are you sure? Because-"
"I'm sure," Bella interrupted Angela, still smiling like a dork. "I get it. Really, you guys, I do. You have no idea how much I do."
They both softened and gave her BFF smiles that warmed her heart so much that even when Ms. Shanty barked at them to be quiet so she could teach she did not care.
It didn't last long, though.
As soon as all the dead frogs were passed out, Jessica and Angela began bombarding her with questions about when she found out (Angela), how much she liked girls, if she was gay or bi, if she had ever checked them out (Jessica), and most unnervingly of all, what was up with her and Alice.
And so she was reminded that even though she had not lost two of her closest friends, she pretty much had lost the one she cherished the most, and wanted to keep above all others.
Alice…