Utopia Falls
Suddenly I See
I was used to being overlooked, to being overshadowed, to fading into the background. Most of the time, I never even noticed. It's just the way life was for me. For all of us, really. We weren't important, not in the singular sense. My feelings didn't matter. So I kept quiet, kept to myself. I helped my Grans, did whatever they asked. I helped my older brother with his assigned tasks and watched over my little sister. Most families only had one child. That was deemed appropriate. A few had a second child. But more than that was unheard of it. I didn't know of any other families as large as mine. So yeah, I was used to just existing. I had a big family, that's just the way things were.
And I was content. I thought I was perfectly fine, working in Nature with my family and dancing when I could. Dancing was my escape. It was the one thing that I excelled at that was mine. The one thing that set me apart from my family. But I still didn't want to be noticed. I just wanted to dance, for myself!
I didn't go to the Exemplar Candidate announcement on purpose, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be chosen. Winning could be amazing! It might be amazing! But then, winning and even competing would take me away from my family and my duties there. I didn't want to enter. I didn't want to win. I didn't want the attention. But my Grans, both of them, they loved watching me dance. And I know they both felt bad that they relied on me so much. I never faulted them. That's just what happened in big families. Someone always faded to the back. And I never minded. That was just my job, my life, what I did in my family.
My Grans, they signed me up for the Exemplar. 24 candidates were chosen to compete. And they signed me up. I guess I was angry with them, for a moment. I never let it out, though. It would have been disrespectful. And if I was honest with myself, I was excited. I did love to dance. And I had wanted to compete. I just wouldn't ever have had the courage or the thought to enter it for myself.
I just always faded into the background.
Until she looked at me.
Brooklyn was something completely different, something I'd never had in my life before. She was pretty, of course. But that wasn't it, wasn't what first attracted me to her. It was her confidence. She had this way about her, a way that she held herself. Some might call her self-centered or selfish, but she wasn't. She had a big heart, big enough for me and my family.
And she saw me. She really saw me. And for the first time, she made me want to be seen.