Chapter 20
I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR CHARACTERS
The shit eating grin on Emmett's face when she and Alice walked into the Cullen home hand in hand that Saturday evening was only one of many he would send their way all night.
"Well, well, well," Emmett grinned as he flung the door open and saw them standing there. "The two lovebirds have returned."
"Emmett, what did I tell you?" Alice sighed as Bella grimaced.
Alice had warned her he would probably be insufferable about their coupling. Alice had also told her that initially her family had not been very warm towards their relationship, considering how things had ended with Jasper, but Emmett could never stay mad at her for long. He had been angry with her for hurting Jasper. It had been hard for all of them to see their brother break down like that the day it happened, but Emmett wasn't stupid despite his fronting, and he came around quickly once he saw how much it hurt Alice for him to be upset with her. Plus, he understood her reasoning once they talked it out.
Now he was back to being his usual goofy self, and Alice had told her that he fully supported them.
Especially the physical aspect of it, apparently.
"Hm, let me see if I can remember," Emmett drawled as Alice rolled her eyes at him and pulled Bella behind her into the house. "Something along the lines of you and little B here doing it, wasn't it?"
Bella blushed as Alice snorted and dragged them into the foyer.
"Emmett," Alice said in warning.
"What?" Emmett laughed, following after them with his big thumping footsteps as Bella was torn between embarrassment and amusement. "Hey Bella, I never knew you had it in you girl. Good going," he told her.
Bella flung a look at him over her shoulder as Alice made another noise of protest. When he winked at her, Bella couldn't help but grin.
She'd been mildly anxious after Alice told her that her family wasn't a hundred percent sure about their relationship, but Emmett was assuaging those worries. Obviously he loved Alice, and did not disapprove of them at all. She'd been especially worried about the big guy resenting her for hurting Jasper, because Emmett was like the big brother she never had and she would have hated for their friendship to be lost over this.
But nope.
Emmett was loving them together apparently, if the way he waggled his eyebrows at her playfully was any indication.
As much as his goofing made her blush, it also made a swell of affection fill her for him. Emmett's joking was his way of letting them know he was cool with it, and even though Bella didn't need his approval, it was nice to have it anyway.
"You're a perv," Bella chuckled as Alice pulled her into the living room, choosing to ignore Emmett.
"I'm the perv?" Emmett gawked as Bella turned back around and saw the rest of the Cullens standing around.
Carlisle stood with his hands behind his back and Esme perched on the arm of the brand new couch next to him. Both the Cullen parents, Alice had told her, were okay with the relationship. They were of course extremely concerned over Jasper, but living as long as they had, they knew a little about love and the way it worked.
So thank God Bella didn't have to deal with those two hating her. That would have been unbearable. At least with Esme. Carlisle she could take, but not the sweet Cullen matron, who was quite possibly the only thing that ever kept her from getting heartsick over missing her own mother.
Rosalie, looking beautiful and haughty as ever, was leaned against Edward's new piano, considering Alice and Jasper had smashed the last one. The rest of the room was also fixed up with new furnishings. The mantle had been replaced as well as the front window, and the new glass coffee table was a nice addition to the room.
It was the new person Bella had never seen before, however, that caught her attention the most.
Standing under Edward's right arm to the left of Rosalie was a vampire Bella had never seen before. She had wavy, pale blond hair and delicate features, and sharp, intelligent golden eyes that watched Bella intently.
It didn't take a genius to figure out who she was. She was draped under Edward's arm with hers around his waist, and Bella knew instantly that she must be Tanya, the girl Edward had left her for in Denali.
Bella was surprised. Edward had been very secretive about her, and she'd not seen the elusive Alaskan dwelling vampire even though they were supposed to be very devoted to each other. She'd also gotten next to no details out of the private man, so she had certainly not expected to see her here. Something about the woman put her at unease, and she clung a little tighter to Alice's hand.
"At least Emmett didn't make the whole house smell like a brothel," Rosalie snarked before Emmett could make what undoubtedly would have been a much less venomous retort.
"Rosalie," Esme said warningly as Bella turned away from the piercing gaze of the stranger vampire.
She felt Alice tense, but at this point Bella had been expecting it. Alice had told her that unlike Emmett, Rosalie had only chilled towards her further after the fiasco with Jasper, which honestly didn't surprise her. Bella had not come here today expecting things to be anything less than frosty with the blond temptress, but it was still hard to deal with her barbs.
Why was Rosalie so weird and harsh towards her anyway? She'd jumped in front of Sophie for her in the cafeteria, then spun around and called her a coward, which Bella still didn't get. She'd also apologized after jumping her after Bella bit her, which was completely out of character for her.
Bella had all but given up on trying to understand her, and had gotten good at letting her remarks roll off her back, as annoying as they were. Alice, however, seemed to have gotten even worse at it.
"As if you two never have," Alice scoffed at her.
"We did once, when we were newborns. You're how old, Alice? A hundred and eight? What's your excuse?" Rosalie cocked her head as if in contemplation, and Bella felt more than saw Alice tense.
"If you hated it so much, care to explain why you walked around with your eyes black and looking a second away from jumping Emmett all day?" Alice said back sweetly.
Bella's eyebrows shot up as Rosalie scowled immediately. It was not like Alice to be drawn into arguments with Rosalie so easily, but she supposed it must have something to do with her instincts.
And besides. Even Alice had her breaking points. Rosalie had been working on it for a long time, really. Thankfully, Esme intervened as Bella squirmed uncomfortably.
"Girls," she barked, and they both stopped glaring at each other to look over at her. "That's enough. I expect better from you, especially in front of our guest. Edward, would you introduce her please?"
Why do you do this Rosalie? She wondered, and ignored the fact that Rosalie's glare transferred onto her a moment later, almost as if she'd heard her.
"Of course," Edward spoke up, and stepped forward. "Bella, this is Tanya. Tanya, this is Isabella."
Her assumptions were correct. Tanya met her eyes steadily, and Bella felt even more uncomfortable meeting hers. They were very sharp eyes, and if Bella looked closely, she thought she saw a faint sheen of red over the gold in them.
"Hello," Tanya inclined her head towards her, expressionless, and made no further move to greet her.
Alright.
This was fucking awkward.
Edward had pretty much dumped her for this chick, and though Bella was long over any resentment over that, it was still weird. Surely Tanya knew how things had ended between them, and she had no idea how the vampire felt about all of it. She also knew nothing about her because Edward was a prickly bastard about telling her anything.
"Hey," Bella waved awkwardly at her with her free hand, and faintly heard Rosalie scoff.
Bitch.
Okay, maybe she hadn't gotten so good at letting them roll off her back. Bella fought to ignore the fact that she was becoming rankled by Rosalie's hostility. She was just so relentless in it. As if Bella did not have enough to deal with.
"I apologize for not being around to meet you before," Tanya said to Bella's surprise. "The Cullen's diet is one I have not partaken in a while. I wanted to be sure I could be as safe around you as they are."
Ah. That explained some of it. At least it explained why Edward didn't talk about her much. He always did have a problem talking to Bella about their more natural dietary tendencies. Bella couldn't deny that she was thankful for that. It made her inclined to like Tanya a little more despite how weird this all felt.
She can't be too bad if she's determined not to eat me, at least.
Rosalie, however, made another discontented noise.
"I'm sorry, did you have something to say?" Tanya finally towards her. Her voice was slightly clipped, and Bella felt the tension in the room rise further.
She also gained some respect instantly for Tanya when she had the balls to call out a girl like Rosalie so fearlessly. She was making no moves to hide her slight irritation with Rosalie's huffing and puffing. Maybe Tanya wouldn't be so bad after all.
"Oh, I've got plenty," Rosalie cooed back at the Denali woman, eyes flashing, clearly disliking her tone.
Still…Tanya should probably watch herself. Rosalie was not one to be messed with, at least in Bella's opinion.
"Not that any of you would listen anyway," Rosalie snapped, and her gaze shot straight to Carlisle.
Carlisle did not take well to that.
"Rosalie, if you insist on acting like this, I must ask you to leave," he said in a voice that Bella rarely heard from him. It was his angry patriarch voice, and Bella knew he only used it when his adopted children were truly testing his patience. "You are being incredibly rude, not only to your family, but to two of our guests."
The rolling of Rosalie's eyes told him what she thought of that, but she stood up swiftly, her jaw locking.
"Well, excuse me. Wouldn't want to be rude to our guests, would I? But it's really just one now, isn't it? Alice already sealed the deal with the human, as we all know by the stench still lingering around. Isn't that just fantastic?" Rosalie bit out, and blurred across the room where she stopped next to a startled Bella just long enough to hiss, "Welcome to the family. I'm sure you'll fit right in, as long as you don't die first."
Alice didn't even get the chance to growl at her before Rosalie disappeared out of the room.
Well, isn't she just a big ball of sunshine, Bella thought sarcastically, and everyone in the room looked to Edward when he let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. Their eyes met, and she was comforted by the slight grin she saw in the corners of his mouth.
Sometimes Edward really irritated her, but then she remembered the subtle sense of humor they shared, and remembered why she didn't mind the occasional annoyances.
Emmett did not go after her. Bella knew it was because he knew his girl well. Sometimes when Rosalie pitched one of her fits, he would, and sometimes he wouldn't. He'd learned to read her well enough to know when Rosalie would accept his company, and when she would tell him to go eat dirt and leave her alone.
Why does she have to be so terrible? Bella wondered, resisting the urge to rub at her temples in frustration. What did I ever do to her, really? I've always tried to be nice to her. I just don't get it…
"Okay then!" Esme clapped her hands into the ensuing awkward silence. "Carlisle, why don't we get started? We've got a lot to tell Bella, remember?"
It did the trick. Carlisle stirred and turned back to them, having been staring after his daughter with an unreadable expression.
"Ah, yes, my apologies. Bella, are you ready to hear what we've discovered after our little, er, experiment?"
Definitely, she thought. It's about freaking time. Forget Rosalie. This is what really matters.
Once Alice had really confirmed that she was going to finally get to find out what was up with her bite this weekend, she'd been dying to know.
"Yeah, totally," she nodded, only slightly apprehensive.
Alice rubbed at her shoulder soothingly, and Bella gave her a gentle smile for it. She ignored Emmett when he smirked at her again.
"You guys gonna kiss?" he said hopefully.
"Only when you're not looking," Alice shot back, and most of the tension Rosalie had left broke as he pouted and everyone chuckled. Alice smirked and Emmett grinned at her, and Bella just shook her head to hide her smile.
I'll take his jokes any day over them resenting me, Bella thought. Anything but them hating me. They're pretty much my second family, besides Rosalie. And Jasper…God, I hope I can make it right with him someday…
Fresh guilt filled her as she remembered the blonde man whose love she had effectively sneaked out from under him, and she wished for the thousandth time to somehow make it better, though there was no way to really do that.
Maybe someday…
But now was definitely not the time to be focusing on that.
"Alright then," Carlisle said with a hint of a smile on his face. "Well then, let's get right into it. Bella, you are aware that I've run quite a few tests on Rosalie, correct?"
"Yes," Bella confirmed, and leaned into Alice naturally when the vampire leaned into her. Everyone in the room was listening. Though the Cullens had a better idea of what those tests were and what they'd revealed to Carlisle, even they did not have the full story. Only Carlisle had had the chance to fully delve into his work and figure it all out.
"I must inform you that there is only so much science can do for us here. As much as I can use it to learn about our kind and what you are capable of, some things are simply without valid explanation…In essence, we will have to leave some of it to the supernatural," Carlisle warned her.
Ugh, okay, okay, fine. Just get to it! Bella shuffled impatiently and nodded again. I just want to know.
Carlisle must have sensed her impatience, because he hurried on.
"The tests I ran on Rosalie after you bit her were designed to figure out what exactly you'd done to her. The results were startling. You already know that your bite has the ability to make us starkly human, and we discovered that bites in quicker succession make the effects more pronounced, and we knew that it caused a defensive reaction in us in the form of pheromones. Forgive me for bringing up the uncomfortable memory, but I believe Rosalie was spurred into kissing you, because not only do we blast out pheromones defensively, but we do so offensively as well. Crippling you by seduction is not an unusual assault method for a vampire to a human."
"We already know all this, dad," Emmett complained. "Victoria used hers to make Bella all hot and bothered, didn't she? We know we can do that. What's the point?"
Alice bristled at that, but Bella squeezed her hand and she quieted. Privately, she agreed with Emmett. She wanted him to get to the point. And Emmett to shut up about Victoria.
"What I'm getting at is the fact that Rosalie jumped on Bella because her bite literally attacks our entire system," Carlisle elaborated. "Bella, you do not merely give us human qualities, you literally make us human again. Within three days of the bite, I was actually able to draw blood from Rosalie."
Every vampire in the room started, and Bella cocked her head, eyes wide.
"How?" she frowned. "I thought you guys didn't bleed!"
"We don't, Bella. All the blood cells in our systems not taken by a vampire are destroyed by the venom when we're changed. All we have left is the black remains, which are only even seen if you manage to break through our skin and hit the vulnerable flesh left beneath. Rosalie's change was much more extreme than Alice's. Her skin softened. She bruised when she banged into things, unable to cope with her new lack of grace. So I guessed correctly, and put a needle into her skin.
When I drew her blood, it was as red and healthy as any human's."
Bella's breath came a little slower and Carlisle now held the room at complete attention.
She could bleed? I made her capable of bleeding?
Bella glanced at Alice out of the corner of her eye, and Alice squeezed her hand reassuringly, though she was listening raptly.
"Not only that, but Rosalie also began to need oxygen. She had to breathe, and not merely out of habit. I believe the saliva of your bite sinks through even our impenetrable skin and…It cures us," Carlisle murmured, eyes bright as he explained the workings of his mind.
"It touches everything that was destroyed, and brings it back to life. The tissues of her lungs, her heart, her muscles…It changed back. Rosalie even developed a heartbeat, so soft I couldn't even hear it without a stethoscope. She even experienced hunger pangs, for food and not blood. She stayed like this so long that I feared she would become malnourished and fed her human sustenance. Rosalie was able to keep it down without vomiting. She even had to use the bathroom," Carlisle continued, surprising Bella more and more with every word.
That was way more than what she'd done to Alice…
"Which we all know she thought was disgusting, as she let the whole house know five minutes later. I don't think I've ever seen Rose so horrified," Alice said, sounding on the verge of laughter, which made Bella wrinkle her nose.
Gross.
"But it doesn't last," Carlisle hurried on, presumably to cut off whatever toilet joke Emmett looked on the verge of making by the smirk on his face. "Your bite is not strong enough to keep us human. The venom in our cells is too powerful, and it destroys us all over again. It ripped back through her cells, and Rosalie became a vampire once more, which is why I don't think that your bite is really permanent. Even if you were to repeatedly bite a vampire, over and over and over, I think eventually we would still return to our vampiric selves."
Bella stared at him, trying to understand everything he was saying. All the vampires in the room were digesting it as silently as she was. They had seen the effects on Rosalie, but only now was Carlisle revealing the full scope of them.
She had known her bite could make vampires like a human…But what Carlisle was saying was different. Rosalie had not merely been weakened so that she was still a vampire, but without all the power that came with it.
She had virtually become human again, completely.
And that was a very drastic thing indeed.
What the hell is in my mouth that does that? Bella wondered uncertainly. What am I, vampire antivenom? What the crap?
"Why does my bite do that?" Bella asked curiously, wary of the answer. But Carlisle only shrugged.
"I do not know the answer to that, Bella. That is one of the things that we simply cannot know. Why can Edward read minds? Why can Alice see the future? It is supernatural, I suppose. Like I said," Carlisle replied.
Oh. Well that was entirely unhelpful.
She felt like he'd told her everything, and nothing at all at the same time.
"So what does all that mean Carlisle?" Bella inquired uncertainly.
Carlisle hesitated and exchanged a glance with Esme. Almost instantly Alice stiffened as Bella's stomach did a curious dip at it.
Here we go again with the looks. What are they keeping from me?
"Carlisle, do the Volturi know any of this?" Alice demanded suddenly.
And what were they keeping from Alice too, apparently?
Carlisle sighed, and Bella felt a cold chill run up her spine when he answered.
"Yes," he said. "You know that we had to send them the results…And they're not pleased with them, Alice. They don't like what they're seeing here."
"What have they said?" Edward spoke up, and folded his arms across his chest. He was taking on his brooding look, suggesting his worry, which did not soothe Bella in the slightest. Edward was a worrywart all the time, yes, but usually when it came to her safety it was for a good reason. He was second to caring for her safety only to Alice (and her dad).
Again, Carlisle looked to his wife for support as everyone in the room tensed up, and Alice let go of her hand to step forward. Feeling vulnerable now, Bella wrapped her arms around herself as Alice caught her mother's eye.
"Esme? What did they say?" Alice inquired. Her voice did not waver, but Bella still heard the way it rose just slightly.
Bella waited on tiptoes, and stared at the Cullen matriarch anxiously, waiting as Esme shifted on the couch and uncrossed her legs, then crossed them again, hesitating.
Just say it! She thought desperately.
The anticipation was going to kill her! Hell, this really couldn't be good if this was how they were acting about it!
"The Volturi have decided that Bella must be changed within the fortnight…Or be executed," Esme revealed in a rush, and Bella's stomach turned to ice.
Oh…
Shit.
"What?" Alice reared back as if slapped as the only human in the room inhaled sharply.
"You've got to be shitting me," Emmett snapped and Esme snapped back, "Language."
"They can't do that," Edward broke in, his voice darkening as he stood up straight, fists clenching.
"Everyone," Carlisle raised his hand in attempt for their attention, but it wasn't happening.
"They actually can," Tanya interjected, though without malice. "It is within the right of the law. And since when have the Volturi ever left anything to chance? Certainly letting Bella live or stay human right now leaves everything to chance…"
Bella felt any respect for her drop off the face of the earth, however true her words might have been.
"I'd like to see them try!" Emmett bowed up with a growl.
"I wouldn't," Edward scowled. "I really wouldn't. This is bad, Emmett. Really bad."
"We can take them-"
"No, you can't," Tanya interrupted. "They'd destroy you, little boy."
Emmett took extreme offense to that, but Alice beat him to it.
"It's not happening," Alice snarled at all of them, and turned to meet Bella's eyes with her own dark and blazing. "It's. Not. Happening."
Her voice didn't shake, but her hands did, and for the first time in her life, Alice's words did not reassure Bella, but only solidified her fear.
Alice is scared. She's never afraid of anything. So if Alice is scared…Edward was right. This is bad. Really bad. The Volturi want me dead…Or undead.
Alice must have sensed her growing fears, because she took a step towards her, reaching for her.
"It is. And there is nothing you can do to stop it," Tanya frowned at Alice. "Don't be so vapid."
"Vapid?" Alice scoffed and whirled on her, ire flaring immediately. "Who are you to even get a say in any of this? You are here only on Edward's account, so stay out of it!"
"All I am saying is the truth. I have dealt with the Volturi before. There is no way to stop them," Tanya stated, unoffended and quite calm, though her eyes did narrow as Alice fumed.
"We can run," Edward suggested quickly. "We could hide her-"
"Like hell am I running from anyone!" Emmett barked. "If they come calling, we fight. We're not afraid to protect our own, Tanya. And Bella is one of us."
Oh, Emmett. Affection rushed up in Bella for him, even as her stomach turned to a tangled knot of writhing, anxious snakes.
"Emmett, don't be stupid. You'll get not only Bella killed, but the rest of us as well," Edward scowled, which made Emmett glare at him furiously.
"Everyone, please calm down," Carlisle attempted to calm the escalating situation, but it was for naught.
"She will die either way," Tanya shrugged, and Bella found it suddenly hard to swallow. "To run or to hide or to fight, it makes no difference. She will be one of us, or she will die. She might even die afterwards, depending on what the Volturi decides."
And the whole room dissolved into a yelling match as Emmett and Alice turned on Tanya and began shouting furiously, while Edward met their raised voices with his own, and Tanya finally stirred to anger and began to yell, too. Carlisle and Esme rushed between all of them and tried futilely to calm everyone and divert what looked to be an impending physical brawl when Emmett poked Edward hard in the chest and got shoved back by his brother as Alice looked a second away from slapping Tanya across the mouth.
Bella could only watch helplessly, clinging to herself.
I don't want to die, Bella thought, breath hitching. But they're all acting like it's seconds away from happening. Am I going to die? Are these Volturi going to kill me? I don't want to die! I'm only eighteen! I don't know if I even want to be a vampire! This isn't fair…I never asked for any of this. I never hurt anybody. Why is this happening? Why are the Volturi being like this? And why the fuck does everyone have to scream at each other? I can't think. I can't even hear myself think. Stop…I just need it all to stop!
Bella had enough. It all became too much, much too fast. The yelling, her pounding heart, the sudden, imminent sensation of death looming overhead…
"STOP!" Bella cried, hands going up to her head. The volume of her own voice startled her, but it worked.
Every vampire in the room halted and turned to her, their eyes shades darker than before. The whole room felt hot and uncomfortable and stifling, and Bella felt like it was getting hard to breathe. She knew the feeling. When she was little, she suffered from anxiety attacks frequently, and though she hadn't had one in what felt like years, she recognized it well.
The desperation to stave off the panic attack building in her made her say what she said next.
"I need-I need air. I just need a minute," she breathed, lowering her hands. "I-I…"
Bella lurched for the stairs, trembling, and Alice appeared in front of her and grasped her hands.
"Bella," she whispered, and it killed the brunette to see her lover's eyes shining. "Hey, stop. Hang on, I'm sorry. We shouldn't be fighting. Don't-"
"Alice, I can't-"
"Just stay, I'm sorry. You need to-"
"Alice, stop!" Bella gasped, and with a huge effort, she wrenched her hands out of Alice's.
Alice drew back, looking surprised, and then completely hurt in a way that made a huge rush of guilt and shame flood Bella. She wasn't trying to hurt Alice. She just needed to get out of this room, needed to be able to be alone for a minute to process, to keep herself together.
"I'm sorry," Bella muttered immediately. "Don't-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…I just need a minute, Alice. I'll be right back, I just…I need to be alone for a second, okay?"
In a desperate attempt to make up for snapping at her, Bella flung her arms around Alice's neck and squeezed.
Don't be mad, she thought. Please just understand.
It was a foreign concept for one of them to need to be away from the other, even briefly, to feel better for whatever reason. It hurt, the way it took Alice a few seconds to respond, but she did respond.
"Okay," Alice murmured, voice soft in Bella's ear, and hesitantly embraced her back. "Okay, if…If that's what you need…"
Of course, Alice would give her anything she needed. Even if that meant she had to fight off her own natural urge to keep Bella right at her side.
Bella swallowed, feeling awful for hurting Alice in any way, but still staving off an anxiety attack.
I don't want to die.
Bella took a deep breath of the scent of white chocolate and berries, kissed Alice's cool cheek, and then darted past her and up the stairs to the sound of dead silence. Her legs felt numb and heavy as she trotted down the hall.
The Volturi want me dead, she thought. But I do not want to die.
The walls felt like they were closing in, and Bella turned and rushed down the hall, feeling as if an entire train was pressing down on her chest.
Breathe, she thought. Just breathe. I need to breathe. Air. I need air!
Mindlessly, Bella rushed into the upstairs drawing room, ripped open the balcony door, and flung herself outside, feeling cool air blast her cheeks.
The relief was almost immediate, but she still sucked in oxygen hungrily, greedily, as if it were the only medicine that could stave off the anxiety pooling in her chest and stomach. It pretty much was. She stared out into the forest as stars twinkled overhead and fireflies fluttered around, oblivious to her predicament. Bella clung to the balcony railing and hung her head over it.
Breathe. Just breathe…
Slowly, Bella calmed. Her lungs inflated, and her chest stopped heaving, returned to a normal slow rise and fall, steady.
Her eyes were burning, but Bella didn't feel much like crying. The cold air felt like it had soothed the fire in her brain, and for a long minute, she just closed her eyes and tried to relax.
A voice to her left ruined any chance of that.
"Are you alright?"
Bella yelped and jumped and turned to see Rosalie Hale gazing at her expressionlessly, glimmering faintly in the moonlight.
"What-I don't-"
Holy shit, Bella internally freaked, running a hand through her hair in shock. I didn't even see her standing there!
Embarrassed, Bella's cheeks flamed as she realized Rosalie had seen her gaping and gasping for air like a fish out of water.
"Are you alright?" Rosalie repeated slowly, enunciating each word clearly. She did not say it meanly, but then she didn't say it nicely either. Why was she asking anyway? It's not like she cared…
Rosalie was leaning against the balcony just a foot away from Bella, and the human had to wonder how she'd missed a girl like Rosalie.
Sneaky vampires. Was she standing there the whole time?
"I'm-I don't know," Bella shuffled, her voice cracking so that she had to clear it. She wiped at her eyes quickly when she felt a few stray tears threaten to fall, and tried to convince her heart that it was better off not slamming into her chest like that.
Just when she was calming down, Rosalie had to scare the mess out of her.
"What are you doing out here?" she asked helplessly, immediately becoming defensive in the girl's presence. Where Rosalie went, humiliation was sure to follow.
"I should be asking you that. I was here first after all," Rosalie hitched an eyebrow at her. "Enjoying the night, and then here you come…Ruining it."
Why did she ever bother to ask if Bella was alright? Probably because if she wasn't, it would give her another chance to kick the human while she was down, which was one of her favorite pastimes.
Bella's breathing was slowly trying to get back to normal, and she ignored the mild jab. So yes, Rosalie had been there the whole time, watching her stave off a breakdown.
Great.
She debated turning around and going back in, but she still felt like being inside would crush her. Only the mass expanse of the outside world was soothing her anxiety right now, and it helped that even Rosalie could not be worse than a death threat by the Volturi.
"Sorry," she muttered instead, and leaned both arms onto the balcony so she could drop her head into them and avoid Rosalie's piercing gaze. She seemed to have two settings; apathetic, and pissed off. Bella supposed apathy was the better of the two. "But I'm not alright. I won't be long…I just needed a breather."
At this, Rosalie gave a soft snort.
"I'd say I told you so, but it's kind of a moot point by now," Rosalie said. Then, "But what the hell, I've been waiting to say it since the day you walked in. I told you so."
Bella glanced at her, and part of her wanted to know what Rosalie thought she'd told her, and then a bigger part of her said it didn't matter. Attempting to get answers out of Rosalie always switched the blond to bitch mode quickly, so she opted not to respond, and Rosalie seemed just fine with that.
There was silence after that. It wasn't even uncomfortable necessarily, but it was weird. Rosalie didn't say anything else to her, and did not attempt to embarrass her by making fun of her near panic attack, and she certainly didn't say a word about the shouting match she undoubtedly could have heard going on before. She didn't ask about the Volturi, or try and make Bella feel worse, she didn't say a word.
It continued this way for five minutes, and Bella was actually able to close her eyes in Rosalie's presence and just breathe, as she'd told herself to do. It helped a little.
Still, curiosity naturally got the best of her. She stood upright and glanced at Rosalie again, who was staring up at the sky with her face blank and completely ignoring her presence.
This was unusual behavior for Rosalie, to say the least. Bella didn't understand it. Normally Rosalie would have been doing her damndest to reduce Bella to tears by now, which probably would have worked considering her state.
But no, Rosalie wasn't even bothering to acknowledge her anymore.
Why was the girl so strange? And mean? Bella couldn't deny the curiosity that burned through her. She understood most things about her odd life. She pretty much understood vampires being real. She understood the Cullens, and Alice, and she mostly understood herself, even the frightening Volturi. Werewolves even, she got.
But not Rosalie. She had no inkling as to why Rosalie was the way she was towards her, or everyone else.
Somehow that soothing silence became suffocating, but Bella could not bring herself to go back in and face her reality just yet.
Rosalie noticed her staring, and turned to stare back with one eyebrow raised up.
The silence was awkward beyond anything and Bella found herself drumming her fingers nervously on the railing, eyes flickering around to the forest, then to Rosalie who stared at her like the insignificant bug she thought the brunette to be, the balcony door behind her, and then back to Rosalie.
The Volturi or Rosalie? Which one, which one should she pick?
I don't want to die…
"Sooo…" Bella drawled uncomfortably, unable to stand it anymore. "Did you like being human?"
Rosalie must have taken that wrong some-fucking-how because her golden eyes flashed.
"No. Are you having fun being a raging lesbian?" Rosalie snapped.
Irritation blossomed in her chest at the unnecessary snide comment when she was only trying to be polite.
Rosalie's unusual silence had been the only respite Bella was going to get from her attitude, and now that Bell had stupidly breached the silence and even more stupidly expected civility, that respite was gone. However, Bella grew angry almost immediately, spurred by her already agitated state.
She'd really just had enough of everything lately. Just like she was done backing down from Cassie, she no longer had it in her to just take the shit Rosalie kept shoveling at her all the time, no matter how nice she tried to be, even when the Volturi wanted her life.
"Why do you have to be like that?" Bella huffed.
"Because you're an idiot."
For God's sake.
Bella felt her eye twitch and she took a deep breath. She counted to ten, twice, but it didn't work.
"What is your problem?" Bella blurted angrily, gripping the railing tighter in her hands.
She was not walking on thin ice. She was skipping and hopping and stomping on it.
Fuck it. Why not? The Volturi were probably going to kill her anyway, by the way the Cullens were acting. Might as well find out what Rosalie's deal was before she went.
Wow. Bella never realized how much of a pessimist she was.
"My problem is you. I didn't like being human at all, so thanks for that little experience," Rosalie snapped at her again.
"You volunteered to be bitten," Bella reminded her, a million retorts rushing to her brain in her ire.
Why was Rosalie being this way? Why did she apologize after she jumped Bella? Why did she jump in front of Sophie for her? Why did she ask if Bella was okay, and then she always turned around to act like this all over again?
"I didn't volunteer to get stuck out here with you though, did I?" Rosalie scoffed. "I'd rather volunteer to jump off a bridge."
Nonstop. She just didn't quit, ever.
And right then and there, all of Bella's confusion and frustration melted into one big rush of exasperation, and she snapped.
"And I didn't volunteer to get molested by you, but you still fucking did it, didn't you?" Bella snarled. "I didn't ask to be stuck here any more than you did, and I have no clue what is going on, and now the Volturi are out to get me, and you're the one making it worse by being a bitch to me for no reason! What did I ever do to you?"
No more. She had had enough. People could only take so much.
Her words, though, made Rosalie's sneer slip into a patented glare that could melt glass and cut through steel. Bella, however, was not having it. She did not back down, and squared her shoulders, stomach twisting with confrontation.
"You haven't seen me be a bitch yet, but call me one again and you will," Rosalie threatened, standing up straighter.
Okay.
So maybe Bella did back down a little.
Rosalie was freaking scary.
"You want to know what you did to me? You existed. You walked into this life, clinging to vampires like you were untouchable, always flouncing around like you're so perfect and invincible when you're not. That's what you did to me," Rosalie ground out through clenched teeth, and Bella looked at her, affronted.
"What are you talking about?" she said, having no idea what the blonde was on about now.
"You really don't get it, do you?" Rosalie growled, making Bella feel as stupid as the blonde thought she was.
"No, obviously. I tried to be nice to you, and then you were terrible to me, but even when I ignored you, you still don't ever back off of me. Why do you hate me so much?" Bella responded irately. "I never spited you or wronged you or anything. I barely said two words to you but from the moment we've met you've treated me like crap. I don't know why you hate me so much, but Jesus Christ, Rosalie, why-"
"Because!" Rosalie exploded, leaning forward and grasping the railing in one hand. Bella reared back as she got a whiff of apples and pine trees. "Because Bella, I'm trying to make you wake up. You are so goddamn stubborn it makes me want to scream."
Gritting her teeth, Bella ignored the pheromones threatening to come over her and stood her ground. She barely noticed that Rosalie used her first name.
Maybe she had been looking for a fight. It felt too good to go off on someone, so maybe she had only been holding in all her emotion, and Rosalie was the perfect scapegoat for her problems.
"I don't know what that means," she growled, crossing her arms defensively.
"Of course you don't. How could you? You're so oblivious-you're so stupid," Rosalie huffed. "You want to know why I volunteered so readily for this?"
Perplexed at the change of pace and all the sense Rosalie refused to make, Bella only scowled at her.
Rosalie answered her own question.
"I volunteered for this because I know what it is to appreciate being human. That's something you seem to be unable to do no matter what. You want to know why I treat you the way I do? Because I hate you. I hate that you were dumb enough to put your life in the hands of my family because half the time all of us are thinking about what it would be like to rip your throat out, and you don't seem to get that," Rosalie ranted, really going off now.
"You act like it's no big deal that three vampires have jumped you now, me included. You walk around us like your life isn't constantly in danger. You don't care about it at all. You're pretty much throwing it away keeping company with vampires," she continued, sounding totally fired up.
"Two of those were accidents. And I made Alice jump me. It wasn't her fault," Bella defended her friend uneasily, starting to dislike the direction the argument was taking.
"Oh, please, don't give me that," Rosalie snapped. "Alice probably thinks about humping you silly every time you bat your big brown doe eyes at her. Her jumping you was going to happen eventually whether you bit her or not."
"So what's your excuse?" Bella retorted furiously, blushing brightly despite herself.
"That's exactly my point, Swan!" Rosalie said, gesturing wildly with her hands. "I don't even like you and I couldn't even stop myself from trying to stick my tongue down your throat or my teeth in it! You are constantly in danger around us and I'm the only one who seems to acknowledge it. I'm a bitch to you because I was trying to put you off. I treat you like this so maybe you won't want to come around so much. I hate you so you'll wake up and realize how stupid you're being with your life. You've only got one and I know what it's like to lose it. I was trying to keep you from losing yours too, but you are so infuriatingly nice and determined to think everything can be happy rainbows and sunshine if you keep it that way no matter how badly I treat you."
Bella took a deep breath, but Rosalie beat her to it. She had a feeling Rosalie had been holding all this in for a long time.
"And now it's too late. So stop acting so fucking surprised that you could die. I hate that shocked look, like you can't believe only now that you could lose your life by associating with us. It's been like that from the very start," Rosalie snapped.
"I don't believe that," Bella muttered, voice barely above a whisper now. "I'm not afraid of you, Rosalie, or your family. None of you would ever hurt me."
At this, Rosalie lost it.
"Are you serious?"
Bella yelped as Rosalie blurred right in front of her. She shrank back with a gasp as Rosalie bore down on her and clasped the railing in both hands on either side of Bella and trapped her in. She leaned back, the bar biting into her as she had to look almost straight up when Rosalie towered over her.
Uh oh.
"We already have hurt you!" Rosalie hissed, glaring down on her as Bella squirmed uncomfortably.
Too close for comfort was an understatement. Bella tried not to freak, and tried to remember that Rosalie could be kind of dramatic sometimes.
Yet this was an entirely different level of 'dramatic.'
"Alice bit you. She could have killed you. We've dragged you into a mess with the Volturi by bringing you into this life, for God's sake, and you still don't believe we're bad for you?" Rosalie growled, and leaned in closer, so that Bella shrank even further, clutching the vertical rails that supported the horizontal one Rosalie was clinging to.
Why did I have to open my stupid mouth? She thought.
"You think we won't hurt you?" Rosalie murmured in a voice like molten steel, eyes flashing."You think that I won't hurt you? You're so stupid Bella. I could hurt you right now if I wanted to."
"You won't," Bella said, her voice cracking, and she wasn't so sure when Rosalie continued on as if she hadn't even heard her.
She won't. Rosalie's a lot of things, but she's not like that. I don't believe it. She's just trying to scare me.
Bella was starting to understand, slowly but surely, what Rosalie's issues were.
"So easily. I could kill you," Rosalie declared. "I could bend your back over this rail and snap it like a twig. I could tear your throat out with my teeth, or the flick of my nails. I could rip your heart out while it's still beating, and make you watch…"
Bella could hear the strangely feverish quality of Rosalie's tone, and she understood, as if an epiphany had hit her, that Rosalie was desperately trying to frighten her.
This was Rosalie's desperate attempt to scare her, and Bella knew why with a startling clarity.
"I could do worse," Rosalie hissed, and Bella tensed when she felt Rosalie's lithe, curving body press into her own.
"I could take you, right now. I could rape you, Bella. I could do whatever I want to you, right now, and you couldn't do anything to stop me. I could touch you, anywhere I want, however I want, any way I please, and there would be nothing you could do about it," Rosalie rumbled, and Bella was acutely aware of their breasts pressing together, Rosalie's scent, the puff of her breath, the proximity of their lips.
This, however, was taking it too far. But by the brightness of Rosalie's flickering eyes, she knew the blond was determined to make her see what she saw. Every word was a ploy. She didn't mean any of it. She was saying anything to get a reaction out of Bella, make her understand. And Bella did understand, more than Rosalie ever wanted her to.
She angled her head away, and shook it, feeling the pheromones on the air.
If this had been a time before she and Alice fell in love, she would have been thrilled. If she was still vulnerable to anyone but the girl she loved, she might have been tempted, might have been aroused. It's not like Rosalie was ugly. In fact, she was one of the most beautiful people Bella had ever met, save for her own lover.
But the expression on Rosalie's face, the reasons behind what she was doing, and Alice, Alice, Alice, made Bella very, very calm.
"I am not afraid of you," Bella said softly, clearly.
Rosalie reared back, and Bella saw her swallow. She looked down on Bella as if just noticing how close they were, and then shoved abruptly away from her with a scoff.
"Of course you're not. I forgot, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You sure loved it when it was Victoria, at least."
Bella was not perturbed, nor distracted. Rosalie saw this, and seemed to be immediately defensive. She was all worked up, but as she saw that her intimidation tactics weren't working, she pursed her lips and for the first time in Bella's life, she looked away first.
There's something deeper here, a reason why that she's not telling me…There has to be a bigger reason why she thinks the way she does.
"What happened to you, Rosalie?" Bella inquired quietly, folding her arms protectively over her chest as Rosalie licked her lips and avoided her eyes.
"Nothing happened to me. What the fuck makes you think-"
"Something must have," Bella continued as if she hadn't spoken, which seemed to stun Rosalie silent, that Bella dared to interrupt her. "Something must have made you like this, made you feel the way you do. What was it?"
Rosalie's eyes locked on hers, and for the longest moment Bella swore she was going to turn and run, or slap her, or simply say nothing at all.
Then she spoke.
"You want to know what happened to me?" Rosalie ground out through clenched teeth. "Fine. I'll tell you. I was raped, Bella. Not only that, I was gang raped. Four men, not just one. Do you have any idea-"
Oh no. It was every woman's worst fear…She had not expected that, never thought…Not to Rosalie, of all people, so haughty and untouchable by the world, invincible in her armor of hate and anger.
Bella's stomach dropped, and she knew that hearing this was going to hurt the moment she saw Rosalie's eyes shining. But…Rosalie was telling her. She was finally going to know why Rosalie was the way she was.
"No…You don't. You couldn't possibly know how that felt. And I never want you to. I never want anyone to feel that kind of pain. That's how I was changed. They left me bloody and broken, and then Carlisle changed me into this, and made me like them. And I hate it!" Rosalie shouted, hands clenching.
How-
Rosalie answered her unspoken question.
"He made me like those men. He took my humanity. I would rather have died. They didn't feel remorse. They didn't care when I screamed or cried or begged. They didn't feel anything like sympathy or compassion. They were coldblooded, unfeeling, inhuman. Those men weren't human; they were monsters. And now I am too," Rosalie anguished, and grit her teeth when Bella's face screwed up in compassion.
"Rosalie…No," Bella whispered.
How could she possibly think…How could they do that to her? That's so sick, and awful, but how could she ever think she's like those bastards that did that to her, in any way?
"Yes," Rosalie snarled at her, but her voice was choked up. "I'm a vampire, Bella. And that's what we are. Lifeless, inhuman. We revel in bloodlust and live every day wanting to kill and fight or fuck and feed. We slaughter animals and would slaughter humans to live, and like it, too. It is all we are now. That's what my family is. That's what you live with. And I never wanted that to happen to you. I don't want you to end up like me, or like us, and now it's too late. I tried to scare you away, but you're so damn-so stubbornly stupid and nice, and oblivious…You are everything we are not, Bella, everything we want to be. Sweet, innocent, loving, kind, compassionate. I can see it in your eyes even now, even towards me, someone you should hate."
"Rosalie," Bella breathed, and the strongest feeling of compassion filled her at the deep, soul sucking ache she could see that had obviously been tearing Rosalie apart for a long, long time, probably from the moment she was changed.
Has she felt this way every moment? Has she been hurting all this time? Oh, Rosalie, it's no wonder you treated me like this. She doesn't hate me. She's terrified I'm going to end up just like her. But she's wrong. She's so fucking wrong.
"You're wrong," Bella told her quietly, and hurried on when Rosalie's eyes predictably flashed in anger.
"You're so wrong, Rosalie. What they did to you was terrible, but how could you ever think you are anything like them? You're not. And that's because you can't possibly be a heartless monster if you care that you feel like this. You can't be heartless if it hurts you to feel these instincts. You can't be soulless or inhumane if it kills you like this, and if you fight it with everything you have the way that you and your whole family do."
"Bella, we're not-"
But Bella cut her off again.
"And you act like all 'humans' are good. Not all of us are good, the same way not all vampires are good. Some humans aren't really human at all. Those men that did that to you-they weren't. They don't have the qualities that make them a person. They are the real monsters. But you? You're not. Because you do your best to be a good person, and that in itself makes you good at heart. You fight your instincts with everything you have to do that."
Rosalie still looked fit to protest, so Bella said the one last thing she could.
"Rosalie, you never stopped being human. You just started being…Something more."
This was enough. Rosalie inhaled sharply, and looked as if Bella had slapped her.
I never knew, Bella thought, staring at Rosalie in a whole new light. I never knew she felt like this. Does her family even know? Does Emmett? Has anyone ever known the way you feel Rosalie, known why you're so angry all the time? Have you ever told them? I get it now…I get why you were so desperate to scare me away.
None of that meant Bella agreed with her in the slightest. That was not who or what the Cullens were. They weren't soulless monsters that went around killing, or God forbid raping, joyfully reveling in some of their more base or violent instincts.
They resisted the worse of their impulses, as humans do, because they were immoral, and wrong, and tried to be the best they could. That's all anyone could ever do, and if Rosalie thought they were all monsters because they had it a little harder, then she was wrong.
She was just plain wrong.
They were both quiet for a long time after that, and Bella let it be, knowing Rosalie was pulling herself together. She knew that when the blond finally met her eyes again, that she was not the only one seeing the other in a new light.
"You asked me if I liked being human," Rosalie murmured softly, in a civil tone Bella had never quite heard from her before. "It's funny…When I learned of what you could do, I was thrilled. I thought I had a chance to be what I was before. Human. But…"
She laughed a mirthless laugh and shook her head.
"But I hated it. It sucked. I had to remember to breathe, every second, because if I didn't I would die. I bumped into shit all the time. Now I know why you're so graceless. And I was so vulnerable…I was so weak. I really didn't like that. I went out with Emmett to a bookstore, and he left me alone outside for just a second, just a moment…And these two guys started eyeballing me, looking at me like a piece of meat. And I knew if I didn't have Emmett to protect me, if I'd been walking home alone that night, they could have done whatever they wanted to me, because I was so weak and helpless…"
Bella listened intently, her own worries forgotten in concern over Rosalie. She was astonished at how fast she stopped hating the girl and started aching for her pain.
Rosalie took a deep breath and kept going.
"I also heard a baby crying at the mall, and realized that I'm not the kind of person who would ever want kids. I've outgrown that. The sound drove me nuts. Everywhere I went I felt small and vulnerable. I like being strong, Bella, after what I've been through. I like being strong enough to crush steel and granite. I don't like to depend on other people for my protection, not after that night. I like…Being a vampire," Rosalie admitted as if it hurt her to do so. "I thought for sure I must be a monster, to enjoy being what I am more than being human-So for you to say that, that we never stopped being human…It means a lot to me. More than you could ever possibly know."
Bella nodded, not exactly sure what to say, but she was not frightened or wary when Rosalie took a small step towards her.
"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you. I never should have…I just didn't want-"
She apologized, Bella internally smiled, and every horrible thing Rosalie had ever said to her was wiped away.
"It's okay Rosalie. It's fine. I forgive you," Bella shook her head quickly, meaning it. "It's fine. I'm sorry for bringing up your past like that. I know it's got to be painful."
Rosalie waved that off and shook her own head. She seemed to be gathering herself. She was pulling it back together, and Bella wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried about that.
Hopefully Rosalie didn't revert to her old self even after this little heart to heart.
Wait.
Did she just have a heart to heart with Rosalie?
What is my life coming to? Bella wondered in awe.
Its end, her subconscious whispered, and Bella fought off the nauseous wave of anxiety that started back up in her.
"No, I'm glad you did. You've helped me, I think. God, I never thought I'd say something like that to you," Rosalie said with a light laugh, but it wasn't mean.
Rosalie paused, and stated with only the slightest hint of emotion, "Thank you, Bella."
Bella blinked in surprise, and could only nod dumbly, unsure of how to respond. That was good enough for Rosalie though, because she lifted her hand and hesitantly, as if uncertain if she should or was allowed to, hovered it above Bella's shoulder.
Oh, Rosalie…
Her palm barely brushed the human's shoulder, and then she pulled it back quickly, a little awkwardly, but that one gesture said so much as she turned away and headed for the balcony door. Bella could only watch her go, dumbfounded by the direction their conversation had taken.
"Oh, and Bella…" Rosalie paused and turned back. Bella looked at her. "If I say some mean things to you after tonight, don't take it personally. It's kind of a habit. Sorry."
It must be a habit at the very least by now, she thought, bemused.
"Yeah, no worries," Bella shrugged, and Rosalie hesitated again, before she broke out into a smirk.
"You know this doesn't mean we're like, suddenly best buddies or anything, right?" Rosalie drawled as she slid the door open and took a step inside.
So much for us being cool now, she internally whined.
Bella picked up, however, just barely, on the playfulness in Rosalie's expression, and the relief that filled her was beautiful.
"Of course not," she grinned, unable to help herself.
"Because, you know, you're still an annoying uppity human," Rosalie rolled her eyes, tone light.
"And you're still a bitch," Bella chanced to say, and was delighted when Rosalie just smirked, winked and easily replied, "But of course."
She then turned and walked away, leaving the balcony door open behind her.
Bella sighed as she watched Rosalie disappear through the glass into the house, presumably in search of Emmett, or the rest of her family. She supposed she should go after her, or at least return to the living room and back to Alice before the girl had a stroke worrying about her.
"Wow," Alice's familiar voice said from behind her.
Or not.
Bella spun with a shriek to see her girlfriend perched on the balcony railing like some gorgeous, overgrown bird of prey.
"Jesus Christ!" she yelped, hand going to her jack hammering heart as Alice hopped down next to her with a grin.
Vampires, she thought with disgust.
More like fucking ninjas.
"That was very sweet, Bella. I can't believe you actually got Rosalie to open up," Alice said as Bella gave her the stink eye for scaring her, which the pixie was clearly not going to acknowledge by the twinkle in her eye.
"Yeah, me too. Where did you come from?" Bella demanded.
"You were taking too long to come back. I got worried," Alice told her, shifting on her feet a moment later. "I wasn't listening, not really. I mean I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but ya know, Rosalie's not very nice to you, so I was concerned and-Please don't be mad," Alice finished and immediately gave up trying to pretend like she hadn't heard the whole conversation at Bella's knowing look.
"I really didn't mean to butt in or anything. I didn't want her to hurt you," Alice whined, but Bella just rolled her eyes, not even bothered, honestly. If the positions had been switched and Rosalie had been in a human Alice's face, Bella probably would have swooped in without a second's hesitation.
"It's fine, Alice. I get it. You creeper," she added fondly just to mess with her, which made Alice pout. "I'd have been surprised if you hadn't been watching out for me, with Rosalie of all people in my face."
"I almost broke in when she got in your face," Alice admitted. "I knew Rose had issues, but I didn't know they ran that deep. I guess I can't blame her. She's not the first of us to struggle with self loathing issues. What you said was very beautiful, Bella. That part about us still being human in a way."
"I meant it," Bella replied, startled. Alice had never given any indication that she did not like herself. She'd expressed frustration with her possessive or jealous instincts, and always tried very hard to keep it from bothering Bella by controlling it, but Bella was alarmed at the thought that Alice might hate herself, for any reason.
"I know," Alice softened at her expression. "But don't worry about me Bella. I've never really personally had problems with being a vampire. I mean…Yes, some of it is hard to deal with, but I don't hate myself. I have before, but I've learned to love myself. It's hard for me to live like that. I'm a silver linings kinda girl, I guess. And I know better, thanks to certain people."
How could she ever hate herself? She was Alice. She was beautiful, sweet, funny and kind. How could Rosalie ever think they were monsters when Alice was around? The girl was anything but a monster.
She was…
She was Alice.
"Am I one of those certain people?" Bella inquired with a slight grin, knowing she was, and Alice nodded sagely.
"But of course. How am I supposed to hate myself if a girl like you loves me?" Alice grinned, and nudged her playfully. Bella's heart skipped a beat. "Besides, everybody already knows I'm awesome."
Bella scoffed as Alice flipped her hair superiorly, and then they both went into a giggle fit.
"Your ego is getting out of hand," Bella told her, and Alice just shrugged.
"Oh, I dunno," Alice drawled, and her expression became suddenly sly. "You took me down a few pegs tonight."
"How?" Bella cocked her head, alarmed again.
What did I say? Is it because I hurt her feelings earlier? Oh crap, no…
"You and Rosalie were looking pretty cozy there for a minute," Alice mumbled, barely meeting her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest.
Oh.
Wait, seriously?
"You're kidding right? Dude-That was totally-It wasn't like that-You know I would never-"
"Her boobs are bigger than mine."
Bella froze, lips slightly parted at Alice's muttering, and then shook her head as if to shake off her disbelief.
"Are you serious?"
"Well it's true!" Alice threw up her hands, only half kidding as Bella gawked at her. "And you didn't exactly push her off," she added.
"She's a vampire!" Bella protested, torn between laughter and offense as Alice pulled a face at her.
"I know," Alice sighed dramatically, and gave her a tiny smile. "I'm just being dumb. And jealous. Rosalie's just very beautiful, and I know I'm not like, the best looking gal around but-"
Who knew even Alice could be insecure?
Fuck that. She better know how amazing she is. Or I'm going to prove it to her.
"Alice," Bella growled, and grabbed Alice's face in her hands to press their lips together firmly. She peppered Alice's mouth with warm, swift kisses and said between them, "Your boobs are perfect. Everything about you is perfect. You are perfect. You're the most beautiful-"
Bella leaned in and licked a hot stripe across the underside of Alice's jaw, and felt her tense in delight.
"Sexiest-"
She sucked a patch of skin between her lips and heard Alice whimper.
"Best looking-"
Bella wrapped her arms around Alice's waist and pulled her close to hiss into her ear.
"Gal around," she finished, and kissed Alice softly, sweetly on the lips.
Alice positively swooned, and then growled into her mouth.
"Damn, Bella," she moaned a little when they broke apart. "Since when are you such a smooth talker?"
"Probably when I started getting something out of it," Bella said suggestively, with a haughty air, and yelped when Alice slapped her hip and scoffed, which made them both break down giggling again.
"Bella," Alice sighed. "How much will you resent me if I tell you we have to go back inside and talk about the Volturi?"
Feeling as if someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water over the top of her head, Bella inhaled sharply, but Alice kissed the corner of her mouth softly.
I can't fucking believe I forgot that, she thought. Ten minutes ago I was practically puking about it.
Alice tended to have that effect on her though. Hashing it out with Rosalie probably added to her distraction.
I don't want to die…
"Not much," Bella lied, attempting and failing to give Alice a weak smile. "We might as well. Sorry for rushing out earlier, and snapping at you. It was just-"
"I know," Alice murmured, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "But now we really do need to talk about it. The family's pretty upset too."
And so am I, Alice's eyes added.
Bella nodded, and it was only Alice's arm around her waist that gave her the strength to move her legs back towards what felt like her death sentencing.
They were walking down the stairs when Alice decided to try and make her feel better by joking around a little.
"Besides, what could be worse than prom? I bet even the Volturi are starting to sound pretty good to you by now, huh Bells? You're still going, by the way."
Bella stopped mid stride, smacked herself in the forehead, and groaned, because yes, she had completely forgotten she was also being forced to attend her senior prom.
"Fuck."
That was to say, if she could even manage to make it to senior prom in the first place…