Chapter 26
I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR CHARACTERS
As it turned out, even having a werewolf in a house full of vampires wasn't quite as awkward as sitting next to your girlfriend across from her ex husband of fifty years with no one else but the three of you in the room, and all of you refusing to look at each other.
It was almost a relief when said werewolf came bounding down the stairs after an unbelievably tense twenty minutes, looking frazzled with Esme right on her heels, fussing over her.
"Of course I understand that your kind have special healing abilities as well but I really would feel better if you would let my husband take a look at those lacerations."
"I'm fine, woman! I mean-seriously, I'm okay, Miss. They're already fading," Leah whirled around, biting back exasperation.
Esme pursed her lips as Leah shifted awkwardly under her stare, and in any other circumstance Bella might have felt bad for her, having felt the heat of Esme's motherly gaze herself quite a few times, but as it was…
She was too busy quelling instincts she'd never even had before. Really, really strong instincts.
Like the instinct to kick the shit out of Jasper's face.
Like the instinct to crawl onto Alice's lap and hiss Mine! at him like some weird, demented snake.
She felt like a caveman, not some new, super evolved species with the way her thoughts were going.
Mine, mine, mine! Fuck you, mine!
She felt like she was a step away from peeing on Alice's leg to stake her claim, which was why she knew she was being possessive vampire crazy and not possessive irrational girlfriend crazy.
And yet underneath all that possessive bullshit, Bella was swallowing back all too human feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, hurt, and anger. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if Alice had said something since Jasper dropped that bomb, if she'd done anything, said anything at all to refute his claim, or justify it, but no, none of that happened. All that happened was that Alice let go of her waist and stalked into the house after him, expressionless, never even once glancing at Bella and that just made it so, so much worse.
Because that kind of reaction screamed that his words weren't harmless, that the implied weight behind them had a meaning that could make Alice act as if they were as heavy as they sounded.
It was more terrifying than Bella thought possible, and she had to tell herself to breathe, and calm down, not overreact. Actually, she hoped she was overreacting. She hoped she wasn't justifiably upset. She wanted to be told she was being as ridiculous as she felt, because the alternative was making her feel sick. She desperately tried to blame it all on her newborn instincts and not the fact that Alice refused to look at her.
Bella's knee bounced up and down rapidly as she sat next to Alice, arms folded tightly to her chest as her eyes cut across the room with nervous energy to see Leah warding off Esme's attempts to doctor her. Leah's hair was damp and pulled back in a ponytail, and her copper skin shone cleanly. She wore a plain black t-shirt that Bella recognized as one of her own, which didn't surprise her considering how much of her stuff was around the Cullen household. Leah was also wearing a pair of her shorts. Her left leg clearly sported a wicked set of bite marks that looked more befitting of a great white shark in size than any form of canine. She knew the wound was one of many that were making Esme worry in her characteristic way.
Again, under any other circumstance Bella would probably be more worried about her too. She was too busy trying to resist the urge to snarl like a feral animal in frustration. She could also feel a headache beginning at the back of her eyes, and a heavy feeling of tiredness was licking at the inside of her bones.
Whatever Bella had done in the yard clearly did not come without a cost.
"So anyway," Leah said and turned away from the Cullen matron quickly in an obvious attempt to shift Esme's attention away from herself. "What's the game… Plan?" Leah trailed off as she sensed the mood in the room.
Jasper glanced at her out of the corner of his eye from his position on the couch across from Bella and Alice, the corners of his lips downturned ever so slightly, his golden eyes finally darkened to an amber more befitting the tension of the situation.
Alice glared at Leah with a hardness in her face that somehow irritated Bella beyond belief.
What the hell is she mad at her for now? Does she think she even has a right to be mad about anything right now? I can't believe her…
Bella worked a muscle in her jaw as Leah's eyebrows shot up.
"Oookay," Leah drawled awkwardly. "I guess we interrupted a really intense silence contest…"
For once, Bella didn't appreciate her sarcasm.
"Is everything alright?" Esme inquired uncertainly.
Fucking no, what do you think, Esme?
Bella had to swallow her unusually powerful frustration so she didn't release it on Esme, who did not deserve it.
There was another awkward pause, and then Jasper turned to his adoptive mother and gave her a smile that for all intents and purposes seemed sincere.
"Everything is just fine, Esme," he said in his slight Southern accent that Bella used to be so fond of, which now grated on her like the sound of nails on a chalkboard.
It didn't help that he was lying through his pearly white fangs.
No, everything was not fine. Not with what he'd told her, not after they'd all been attacked by a pack of godforsaken werewolves, not after Victoria Sutherland bit her neck and drank her dry and turned her into some weird subspecies of vampire, altering the entire course of her very life -a can of worms Bella wisely decided not to open to avert a panic attack— and they were most certainly not okay with Alice sitting next to her like a stranger she'd never met before.
They were saved further questioning when the rest of the Cullens walked in from the kitchen, apparently in the midst of a heated argument.
"I just don't understand how you could just let them go," Emmett said angrily, stalking after his father as Carlisle entered the room, looking slightly frustrated.
"Seriously, they tried to kill us and we didn't even do anything to break their stupid treaty!" Rosalie added vehemently.
"Both of you, please. I told you I would explain when everyone was in the room to hear," Carlisle pleaded.
Emmett and Rosalie both reluctantly shut their mouths but continued to seethe as Edward and Tanya slid in behind them, both silent. Edward was limping slightly, and Bella felt a rush of hatred for Jacob Black, knowing it was his wolf that nearly ripped one of her best friend's legs off. And to think, she had always liked Jake more than the others. Then he went and tried to eat Edward like it was no big deal.
Asshole.
"I know that I propose peace in most scenarios where you all would rather have violence," Carlisle began, ignoring the scoffs from Emmett and Rose.
"That's an understatement," Alice said wryly, and Bella glared at her. She was even more annoyed (and worried) when Alice didn't even glance at her.
Bella pursed her lips and shook her head, deciding that now was not the time to dwell on this. She could freak out later. There were more important matters to be discussed at hand. She blinked away the heavy feeling in her eyelids.
"But even in this case I will admit that the Quileutes crossed the line. Under any other circumstances, I would have been inclined to, unfortunately, eliminate them as they so ferociously tried to eliminate us," Carlisle continued.
Bella watched as Leah's jaw locked and the way she folded her arms tightly to her chest.
Rosalie noticed.
"Problem, mutt?" Rosalie scoffed.
"Rose!" Esme warned.
"Don't call her that!" Bella snapped and jumped to her feet immediately when Leah cut the blonde a wicked scowl. She was getting really sick of any ill will towards Leah right now.
And oh, would you look at that? Alice had finally deigned to look at her as Bella moved defensively to Leah's side. But of course, she just couldn't stand if she got anywhere near the girl.
This time, Bella was the one who refused to look at her lover. Two could play at that game. Bella just desperately wished she knew why Alice wanted to play that game in the first place.
"Don't act like it wouldn't have been justified," Emmett threw in darkly. "They tried to kill us first. Fair is fair in war, right?"
Leah didn't say a word, but Bella could see the tendons in her neck straining. A strain of protectiveness flitted through her as she remembered the sacrifice Leah had made in giving up her pack and family to stand with them; and one of those she'd given up was her baby brother. A wave of nausea followed after as Bella realized she had nearly been the one to try and kill the kid.
Jesus Christ, she thought, suddenly winded. I would have… I would have killed someone. I would have killed Leah's little brother without a second thought.
The fact of that suddenly seemed to outweigh the fact that Seth had attacked her first. He was so young… And did he even have a choice in the matter? Leah said Sam could control the rest of the pack…
These new instincts were no joke.
"Stop it, both of you!" Esme commanded angrily.
"Your mother is right. Stop antagonizing Leah. She's the only reason we had any warning at all. You should be thanking her, not trying to provoke her," Carlisle chastised them.
Rosalie rolled her eyes viciously and Emmett looked slightly taken aback by that reminder. Leah remained wordless, as if she didn't trust herself to speak, and it only steeled Bella's resolve to stand by her as Leah had stood by her, even against her own people. She made eye contact with Rosalie and they glared at each other for a few tense moments.
Back off, Bella's eyes blazed. Back off of her.
"As I said, with all due respect to you Leah, under any other circumstances, I would not have let the Quileutes go so easily," Carlisle went on.
"I wouldn't have expected you to," Leah finally bit out. She hesitated, and then shrugged. "I warned the idiots. They would have had it coming. But with all due respect, Mr. Cullen, if any of you tried to kill my little brother, I would have ripped your bloodsucking head off," Leah added sweetly, unbothered by the harsh looks she received for that.
Bella felt her cheeks flame with shame and guilt, and all those murderous instincts that before had felt empowering were now making her decidedly sick. She shifted on her feet and was painfully grateful that Leah had no idea who had wailed on Seth in the heat of battle.
Could I have really done it? Bella wondered weakly. Could I have… Killed him?
She didn't want to think about it.
"You keep saying 'under any other circumstances,'" Bella said, eager to switch the subject off of murdering people. "What 'circumstances' do you mean exactly?"
Carlisle sighed and smoothed back his hair, and shared a glance with Esme. Bella's muscles tightened when the room suddenly grew very quiet and very tense-well, even tenser than before, which was saying something.
Alice got to her feet, and Bella's breath hitched. The pixie like vampire floated across the room, and though she did not meet Bella's eyes -as desperately as Bella tried to meet hers— she did slip up beside her, brushing their hands but not lacing them as she normally would.
That slightest little touch sent sensation rippling through Bella's new, sensitive skin. She felt it zip into the cortex of her brain, the core of her heart, rippling painfully. She did not get a chance to dwell on it, to lament her romantic issues, because Carlisle was talking again.
"We didn't kill the wolves, because we need them, Bella," Carlisle informed her.
"For what?" Bella frowned amidst scoffs around the room. Apparently she was not the only one confused.
"To help us fight," Carlisle said slowly, and realization seemed to dawn on the Cullen faces around her, all save for Alice's, which was still scarily emotionless, even as her hand, without warning, slipped into Bella's and squeezed.
Despite her ever increasing frustration and downright anger towards Alice, Bella found she couldn't shake her hand away. Instead she squeezed back, biting the inside of her lip furiously, then wincing when she felt her new fangs nick her skin.
The tiniest little droplet of her own blood touched Bella's tongue, and she flinched at the taste. She expected the usual taste of metal, but instead got something like raspberries, which she found to be unfathomably weird. She also found it made her feel slightly queasy… And then something pulled hard at the back of her throat and low in her stomach.
Bella's lips parted but she shook it off roughly.
Not now, she told herself again. Not yet. I can't deal with that right now.
She had a fleeting thought that maybe her stupid bite could affect herself, but dismissed it just as quickly, because now was so not even the time to go there.
"To fight who?" Bella inquired, and then her mind clicked as she felt Alice's hand tighten in hers.
And she knew. She knew who they had to fight, because it was the only sensible answer, and it stole the breath from her lungs.
"The Volturi?" she breathed weakly.
Carlisle's expression was all the answer she needed.
Bella stared at him, processing it.
But of course, who else could it possibly be but the Volturi? Who else would they have made enemies with besides the Volturi? Who else would they need an entire pack of werewolves to fight, but the ultimate, ruthless, evil, all powerful Volturi, who could probably crush this coven like a bug beneath the heel of their polished black boots?
Bella knew she'd missed something crucial unfolding in that particular regard in her three days of slumber.
She found herself shaking her head, and then she was actually laughing in disbelief. Frustration and despair filled her rapidly. She didn't know what else to do but laugh, because it all suddenly felt so hopeless.
It was just one thing right after another. How did she go from worrying about the latest zit on the tip of her nose and finding a prom dress to this? In less than a week at that!
"Great. Fucking-that's just great!" Bella threw up her hands, ignoring Esme's wince at her crass language. "What did we do now? Or should I say I? Are they mad that I had to sleep it off? Did my transformation not satisfy them? Or no, let me guess— Did my blood not satisfy poor Victoria? Was I not a good enough fucking meal for her that they've finally decided to just off us all together?"
She yanked her hand free of Alice's and clenched her hands into fists, breathing hard through her nose. Her nostrils flared and she felt the rubber band stretching back, threatening to snap again. Black spots popped in her vision and before she realized she was doing it, she was growling raggedly.
Immediately, two cool hands clasped her cheeks and then a pair of gorgeous, all too familiar eyes were right in front of hers, beseeching.
"Bella, baby, stop… Stop it… Come back to me…"
Alice's voice was so soft and gentle and her hands felt so good on Bella's cheekbones, caressing, making her inhale that soothing white chocolate and berries scent, coaxing the rubber band to relax, and it made something furious well up in her stomach.
"And you-You-" Bella ripped away from her, gasping in a heavy breath before she staggered away from her, hating the look of surprise and hurt on Alice's face. The backs of her knees hit the love seat and Esme stirred as if to catch her, but she just collapsed into it, still maintaining eye contact with Alice.
"Just don't," Bella breathed, wrestling back control with the little burst Alice had given her. "Just don't right now, Alice…"
Bella couldn't stand to look at her, not when she could see Jasper watching them like a hawk with his amber eyes and his lax posture, and Bella felt herself slipping back into the storm that her vampire promised, the one of instinct and wrath, of lust and possessiveness, of unbridled affection and desire.
She swallowed it sourly, fighting with everything she had to keep it together. Bella felt her rage give way to a sudden helplessness, and she gave another weak, hollow laugh, putting her head in her hands a moment later.
She was just so tired. So drained, physically and emotionally. An anchor weighed her down.
What the hell has my life become? She mused miserably, and slowly looked back up to see everyone watching her. Despite herself, she still saw Alice fold her arms slowly over her chest, a wounded expression on her face. It took all of Bella's willpower not to drop to her knees and grovel at her feet, or yell at her in fury.
Feeling dramatic and mildly embarrassed with a slow sense of depression creeping up on her, Bella just buried it all deep inside and looked to Carlisle, hunched over in her turmoil.
"Well?" Bella said bluntly after a long, awkward silence. "Which is it? Why do they want to kill us now?"
Carlisle hesitated. He looked torn between concern and-being impressed? Bella swore she saw him eyeing her in mild surprise.
"Damn, did you really just swerve a newborn fit Bella?" Emmett whistled lowly. "Even adult vampires have more issues with control than that…"
"That was impressive," Edward agreed. Even Tanya and Rosalie were staring at her curiously.
Woopty-doo, Bella thought, irritated. So what?
Carlisle must have seen how much she didn't care about that right now on her face, because he wisely decided to answer her question instead.
"The Volturi have officially decided that we are in need of eradication, Bella," Carlisle said. "Because we refused their demands. Of course, they won't say that. Their 'official' reasoning is that we have apparently shown irrefutable evidence and inclinations of revealing ourselves to humankind, as well as willful ignorance and breaking of vampire law, all of which is punishable by death."
"Which is complete crap," Emmett growled.
"They don't need a reason anyway," Tanya spoke up. "The Volturi never do. It's not like the vampire form of governing is a democracy. We operate under tyranny, not a republic. All that nonsense is just a pretense to avoid outright saying that the Volturi are not a form of justice or protection in our world, but our unelected masters."
Not for the first time, Bella wondered how and why Tanya knew what she did about the Volturi. By the hard look on her face, she knew it must be from personal experience.
"She's right," Carlisle nodded. "I did not see it before. I was blinded by past friendships with Aro. I never thought…"
He trailed away as Bella jolted in shock.
"Friendships? You used to be friends with the Volturi?" Bella gawked.
"I used to be one of them, Bella. No one ever told you that?" Carlisle frowned, and here Bella whipped a glare towards Edward and Alice. Not once had either of them ever mentioned that fact to her.
"No, they didn't," she ground out through clenched teeth. Alice's jaw locked and her posture became defensive. Their eyes locked and Bella felt the electricity of their connection racing through her. Something deep inside her wanted to growl at the eye contact.
"It slipped my mind," Alice scowled, clearly becoming as angry as Bella felt.
Bella didn't even care at this point.
"Yeah, things seem to be slipping your mind a lot lately," Bella snapped and Alice's eyes flashed.
"Well it was kind of obvious anyway," Alice snapped back. "If you had paid any sort of attention to the massive portrait of them hanging in the foyer, you would have seen a startlingly familiar face standing right next to Aro."
Bella's cheeks flamed and she tightened her shoulders, but before she could bite back a retort, Carlisle intervened.
"It doesn't matter anyway, Bella. It is far, far in the past. I once used to be close to Aro, Marcus, and Caius, but clearly that time is over," he said.
To avoid jumping to her feet and exploding at Alice, maybe by yelling in her face and demanding to know what Jasper meant by what he said and why Alice reacted the way she did, or more frighteningly leap for her lips because God she was so sexy when she was angry and Bella's inner vampire appreciated it more than ever, as inappropriate as it may have been, she turned back to Carlisle.
"What demands did you refuse?" she asked, ignoring Alice's presence with Herculean effort even when her very body was attuned to the girl.
Yeah. They were definitely gonna have a talk later. Bella wasn't sure she'd ever been this mad at Alice before. Had she ever been truly mad at Alice like this? She wasn't sure, either, if it was because she was what she was now, or because it was actually justified.
She had a sinking feeling it was the latter.
"The Volturi demanded we relinquish you to them," Esme answered for her husband.
"Which was sure as hell not happening," Emmett said forcefully.
Out of the corner of her eye, Bella saw Alice's eyes soften slightly as she glanced at Emmett. The two of them shared a fierce protective look that sent a pang through her heart. Some of her anger towards Alice faded.
"Why?" Bella asked, her knee beginning to bounce again.
"They wanted to study you and what you've become for themselves," Carlisle explained. "They also did not, apparently, trust our judgment, claiming that under the 'unfortunate circumstances of your transformation' our judgment might be 'clouded' or 'biased.'"
"Wonder why?" Rosalie huffed, rolling her eyes. "What Carlisle means to say is that they knew we were pissed beyond belief about the fact that they sent Victoria to off you in the conniving way they did, and that we might be a little more inclined to tell them to go suck a di-"
"Rosalie," Esme huffed.
Carlisle's face became unusually dark.
"What they really want is to see you with their own eyes, as you are the first of your kind, Bella, so they may decide if they want you for themselves, or if you are too much of a threat to be allowed to survive," Carlisle finished.
Bella really hated these people-these people who she had never even met but still somehow wanted her dead so much. It was infuriating and terrifying, like the boogie man under the bed.
"And you said no," Bella said slowly, taking a deep breath as she understood the implications.
"And we said no," Carlisle echoed, in a tone of voice that Bella had never heard from him before. It was utterly final, streaked through with something warm and protective that reminded Bella sharply of the first time she brought Edward home to meet Charlie, who was polishing his shotgun calmly and pointedly at the kitchen table.
It made her fondness increase for Carlisle tenfold.
Bella's eyebrows rose when she saw all the Cullen children smirking at their father with something like pride, who did not acknowledge it.
"Yep, Pops finally put his foot down," Emmett chuckled and clapped Carlisle on the shoulder, who sighed exasperatedly at his children.
"Which was unbelievably stupid," Tanya muttered, making everyone tense up again. "We're all going to die now, instead of just one of us."
The temperature in the room dropped ten degrees, and Bella's heart jumped into her throat.
"Tanya, what did Alice promise to do to you if you started in with this again?" Rosalie inquired in a voice like honey. "Oh yeah, she said she'd rip your head off and set it on fire!"
Alice was staring at Tanya with a look that was positively glacial, as Rosalie gave her that patented Hale sneer that promised one's imminent doom.
"So how about you shut up before I help her do it?" Rosalie finished, and Tanya actually had the gall to flash her fangs and hiss at her, which Rosalie met with a rugged growl.
It was so much nicer to have Rosalie on your side than against you.
"You have signed your own death warrants!" Tanya said, her voice increasingly shrill. "There is no defeating the Volturi! Defying them outright means certain death!"
"Oh, give it a rest Tanya!" Emmett rolled his eyes. "The Volturi have been looking for an excuse to come at us like this for a long time anyway. Now they just have a viable reason."
"Emmett's right, Tanya. I understand your concern, especially with your past, but I fear this was inevitable. They lust for power, as you well know, and with Alice, Edward, and Jasper in our midst, it was only a matter of time before they found a reason to come and take them by force," Carlisle said firmly, but Tanya just scoffed and whipped a withering look onto Bella.
"It's really ironic, isn't it?" Tanya scoffed and took a step towards her, which made Bella lurch to her feet instinctively, her lips pressing together. Alice shifted in front of her, their previous arguing apparently forgotten.
"Back off!" Alice's voice rose sharply, but Tanya just laughed a hollow laugh that made a cold pit form in Bella's stomach.
"Everyone was always so worried that you'd get yourself killed fraternizing with vampires but as it turns out, you're the one that's going to get everyone else killed," Tanya hissed, and a chill raced down Bella's spine so harshly that she felt like she'd had the breath knocked out of her.
"That's enough, Tanya!" Esme demanded, and said blonde whipped about to storm out of the room.
"I'm so sorry, Bella," Edward breathed, casting her an apologetic look as he raced after her, looking furious with his girlfriend.
"Bitch," Rosalie muttered, and Esme heaved a long suffering sigh as Carlisle rubbed his jaw in exasperation.
Bella felt like she'd been slugged in the chest.
She's right though, Bella thought. Everyone… Everyone could really get hurt. The Cullens could die now. It's not just me they want to kill anymore. And it's technically all my fault. It's been my fault… All the trouble they've had, it's been because of me. If it weren't for me, none of this would even be happening. I never even realized that before…
"Agreed, Barbie. Who the hell is she anyway?" Leah said, startling Bella out of her thoughts. The werewolf had been hovering somewhere around the base of the staircase, out of the way, not interfering. "I've never seen that chick before."
"Barbie?" Rosalie scoffed.
Leak smirked at her, and got a scowl in response.
"Anyway," Leah went on. "Let me get all this straight. From what I've gathered, some weird ass clan of super bad vampires called the Volturi want to kill all of you because you wouldn't give Bella up to them because they might kill her, and they wanted her because she's some new species of vampire?"
Carlisle nodded.
"Figures. You just had to be different, didn't you Izzy?" Leah chuckled, and Bella frowned at her.
"What?" she said defensively.
"You always have been a super special individual snowflake," Leah grinned good humorously, and Bella just rolled her eyes at her.
She didn't miss the way Alice seethed in front of her. She took a sick sense of satisfaction from her jealousy, considering she still seethed about Jasper over there on the couch.
"What I don't get," Leah went on. "Is how you expect to get the packs to fight for you."
"Packs? There's more than one group of you mangy animals?" Rosalie said, eyebrows high in disbelief and disgust.
"Yeah. There's more than just one shape shifting pack in the world, and si, more than one of those tribes has an inclination to morph into a seven foot tall wolf that would gladly bite any bloodsucker's head off, particularly pretty bobble head blonde ones like yours," Leah replied sweetly and Rosalie bared her fangs at her.
Bella honestly wasn't surprised that there were more packs like Leah's old one. Nothing was really surprising anymore.
"I'm assuming you knew that already," Leah said to Carlisle, who nodded again. "You seemed to know what Jake was talking about when he brought up el Madre del Sol as well. You seem to know a lot about our lore, actually," Leah added suspiciously.
"Know your enemy," Carlisle stated calmly. Leah hummed noncommittally.
"What I don't get is why you're Native American, yet you speak Spanish," Jasper finally spoke, sounding pensive.
Bella wanted to kick him in the mouth again just because of the fact that he existed.
"Our ancestors hail from the indigenous tribes of Mexico," Leah informed him.
"Then how the fuck did you guys get all the way up to Forks, Washington?" Emmett asked, looking bewildered.
"Language!" Esme threw up her hands in exasperation. Emmett winced apologetically.
"You really want a history lesson now?" Leah scoffed. "This is kind of completely irrelevant."
"But you don't even look Mexican," Emmett muttered.
"Ay dios mio," Leah sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Anyway. Mr. Cullen, how exactly do you expect to make the packs fight for you? If you think Bella being the Mother of the Sun alone is enough, then I'm afraid to tell you that it more than likely won't be."
"What does that mean, anyway?" Esme inquired curiously. Bella was grateful she'd asked, because the curiosity was starting to eat her up too.
She also dreaded to know. It would undoubtedly be just one more stupid thing she was that would make things inevitably worse.
Surprisingly, it was Carlisle who answered.
"El Madre del Sol, or the Mother of the Sun, is the phrase used by the Quileute tribe to describe a fabled heroine who would one day walk the earth with the power to eradicate the evil plague known as the Cold Ones, which are vampires," Carlisle elaborated. "In Quileute legend, vampires are the natural enemy of humanity and life itself, being the enigmas we are, and thus are their natural enemies. The Mother of the Sun is supposed to be the savior that comes to aid the shapeshifters in their mortal war against vampires. She is recognized by her ability to forcibly un-shift any wolf, supposedly because of her strength with humanity, forcing them back into their human forms. She is supposed to herald the downfall of all vampire kind."
Bella only stared, bemused. She ran her tongue over the roof of her mouth, having no idea how to take this. Her headache was getting worse. The urge to sleep for another three days was overcoming her.
"You're leaving something out, old man," Leah broke in. "Besides being able to put the pups in the corner, el Madre del Sol is supposed to be able to nullify all the so called evil powers vampires have. She also is made by vampire kind, which I'm sure is supposed to symbolize how they bring about their own doom or something. Everything about her resists them in every way. Which you seem to be demonstrating, Izzy. You're not pulling the whole Humpty Dumpty deal like Abercrombie and Fitch was at least," Leah went on, referencing Edward's hurt leg.
"Do you have a nickname for everyone?" Rosalie huffed.
"Sure do, Regina George," Leah said sweetly.
Emmett cut off whatever Rosalie's scathing reply was going to be.
"Okay, but that doesn't make any sense. How does making the wolves human help them at all? And whatever Bella did out there didn't do anything to us. If anything, it just made it easier for us to win!"
"El Madre del Sol's whole deal is humanity. For everyone. Not just bloodsuckers. She radiates it. That's kind of her shtick," Leah said, ignoring the scowls she got for the repeated use of the term 'bloodsuckers'. "I'd assume she can use it on whoever she feels like. She's supposed to be pretty powerful. I'm not a hundred percent sure about that, though. I was never the biggest expert on Quileute legends. The elders always made us listen to their ramblings, but I had a habit of tuning them out. Jake's the one who always got a huge hard on for this stuff."
There was a pause, and then Alice spoke up.
"Wait… She actually did affect us. Or me, at least," Alice said softly.
Everyone looked at her in surprise.
"Even before she was turned, Bella was making us more human when she bit us. And we all are fairly certain if she bit any of us now, it would be permanent. And I… I remember, when we were fighting, when Bella did what she did, my visions suddenly cut out. I couldn't see anything anymore. I can now, but it's still not as strong as it usually is…" Alice revealed slowly.
Carlisle lit up and a few of them gasped in shock. Bella looked at her, stunned at the revelation.
Alice still didn't meet her eyes.
So then she didn't see Bella rolling them in annoyance.
"I lost my power as well," Jasper added. "I didn't think much of it at the time, but I couldn't influence anyone anymore. I couldn't calm the mutt in my arms at all. Like Alice said, it's still not as strong as usual. It's coming back, thankfully… But I'd be willing to bet Edward couldn't read any minds either."
"Why didn't any of you say anything?" Esme demanded.
"It wasn't exactly the right time. And I don't think any of us were sure it was happening to the others. We didn't exactly want to let the wolves know we were affected as well," Jasper replied.
Carlisle and Leah locked eyes, and Leah actually seemed stunned.
"It fits," Carlisle said, staring Leah down determinedly.
Leah pursed her lips, and then gave a shaky laugh of disbelief.
"Yeah. It really kind of does. I honestly didn't believe it at first," Leah admitted, then turned to Bella. "Welp, looks like you're officially the Mother of the Sun, and a Quileute legend come to life. Congrats, Izzy."
Bella narrowed her eyes at Leah for the joke, and then sighed, dropping her head into her hands. She rubbed tiredly at her eyes.
I seriously have no idea what the hell any of this even means, she thought. It's just gibberish. It's all a load of crap.
To avoid saying that out loud, she just shrugged helplessly and didn't say anything at all. Alice looked skeptical as well, but also remained silent about it.
"But seriously, Mr. Cullen, if you think that will convince the packs to fight …" Leah began.
"Why wouldn't it?" Carlisle said firmly. "She is the heroine they've been waiting for. They have to fight by Bella's side. It is the core of their legends, their beliefs!"
"Because," Leah huffed. "Fighting with Bella means fighting with you, and sorry guys, but they don't like you. El Madre del Sol is supposed to be the downfall of all vampire-kind, not just the ones you don't like. The more realistic scenario is that now you have two groups of bad guys who want to take Bella from you. They probably think you've captured their almighty heroine and are holding her hostage. I wouldn't be surprised if Sam is already summoning all the packs in a fifty mile radius to come and get her."
Alice looked alarmed and Bella felt another laugh burst out of her unwarranted, nearly hysterical.
"Greaaat," she drawled, shaking her head, ignoring the worry on the faces around her at her reaction.
Just. Freaking. Awesome.
Bella had to fight the sudden impulse to punch herself in the face and knock herself unconscious.
"They'll fight when they know the whole story," Carlisle argued.
"Yeah right! You won't even get a chance to give them your side of the story!" Leah scoffed.
"They'll listen to Bella, when they see what she can do."
"Before or after they rip you all to pieces?"
"Bella can stop them. You've seen it. She can make them listen. She'll have to if we're going to have any chance of beating the Volturi and surviving this."
"I don't even know what the hell I did!" Bella exploded, having had enough of listening to this. All eyes turned to her in surprise. "Jesus-Listen to yourselves! El Madre del Sol? You think I'm some mythical magical being that can do all this stuff and I-I don't even know how I did it, let alone if I can do it again! This is all just-It's just stupid!"
Bella clenched her fists and swallowed hard, looking around at all of them in frustration and pleading, begging them to understand how crazy all this was.
"I'm not-I'm not a heroine, I'm not the 'Mother of the Sun'! I'm not even a human or a vampire or a godforsaken werewolf. We don't even know what I am, and I've only even been what I am for a few days, most of which I spent in a coma!"
"Bella…" Alice breathed, and once more she was all Bella could see, her beautiful Alice with her big beautiful eyes and her high apple cheekbones, shrouded by her lovely scent in front of her, beseechingly gazing at her, and god, it all just came flowing back up inside of her.
"And you-You won't even look at me till I'm freaking the hell out! So stop it! All of you just stop it!"
Bella ended with a gut wrenching snarl with her fangs out and her mind blazing. Alice took a step back, as did Leah. Bella looked around at all their wide, judging eyes, and the rage twisted viciously in her gut.
Her eyes met Alice's, and the horrible urge to leap at Alice and hit her came surging up inside her arm. Without thinking about it, she twitched towards her as if to do just that.
No.
Bella recoiled as if struck barely a split second later. Alice stared at her with eyes that were rapidly narrowing, hardening, reading the movement as easily as she had always read Bella's movements.
Bella's rage wavered heavily, but the fire did not go out of her completely.
"I need-I need a break. I need-" she choked out, ripping her gaze from Alice's, unable to bear to look at her a second longer.
She couldn't stand to meet any of their eyes, couldn't stand to be in this room, crowded, suffocated. The walls felt like they were closing in, like they had the night Bella was informed that the Volturi were basically sentencing her to death unless they changed her.
And now the Volturi were going to execute her, and everyone she loved, anyway.
With a rugged noise from deep in her chest, Bella stormed past Alice, aching at her presence, at what she'd nearly done, feeling sick and disoriented and riled up. She had to find a way to calm down somehow before she exploded, and actually followed through with that awful, awful violent thought that had flitted through her brain.
"Bella," Alice called and reached for her, and though her back was to Alice, Bella sensed the movement anyway.
"No!" she snarled, whipping around and lurching out of reach. "No, just don't Alice, don't… I can't right now. Just-I need to be alone. Just leave me the hell alone!"
"Bella, you can't be alone right now, we have to-"
"Alice," Carlisle cut off his daughter, and he must have stopped her as well because when Bella fled the house, bolting out the back door so fast it made her dizzy, Alice did not follow her.
The fresh air dazzled her new senses, and Bella staggered, disoriented off the porch, stumbling blindly towards the woods. She wasn't aware of how fast she was moving, but instinct begged for her to get away, to run from the maelstrom in her brain, to find a quiet, safe place to recoup.
She skidded to a halt in a copse deep in the woods and leaned against the nearest tree, breathing in heavily the scent of earth and leaves. The bark felt rougher than ever on her skin, but it grounded her.
I can't believe I almost hit her, Bella thought weakly. I'm losing my fucking mind. I can't do this. I can't do any of this. How do they expect me to do this? I can't save us, I can barely even pass Algebra! And now, thanks to me, they're all in danger. It's not just me, they're going to kill everyone. All of them. All the Cullens…
Bella pressed her eyelids together tightly, but the tears squeezed out anyway, hot and entirely unhelpful. She bit back a sob.
I can't do this, I can't do it… I can't… I never meant for any of this to happen…
She stayed there for a long while, unaware of the passing of time. Evening slowly began to fall. Bella eventually calmed, her breathing mellowing out and the tears abating. She gazed up at the paling sky, swallowing thickly.
"What the hell am I going to do?" she whispered to it.
There was no answer, but there did come the sound of a snapping twig.
Bella jolted upright, her heart jumping one of its slow beats. Her eardrums seemed to literally flutter with power, zeroing in on the noise. Her nostrils flared and the scent of something sweet, so utterly intoxicating filled her mind like a fog.
Blood.
Bella's eyes locked onto the doe limping out of the trees. It did not even seem to notice her, and Bella could nearly feel her pupils dilate at the sight of so much red pouring out of one of its flanks. The doe had clearly been mauled by some animal and was panting heavily, one of its back legs brutally wounded. Death seemed imminent for the poor creature.
There was so much blood. So much of the stuff just pouring out, easy, like water.
A searing pain flared in Bella's throat and her breath hitched audibly. It blindsided her in its intensity, so much more powerful than any faint fluttering she'd felt before. It was crippling and Bella let out a high pitched whine of agony.
The doe jolted and finally noticed the brunette staring it down across the copse. In a move that was clearly painful -and surprising in its speed— the deer spun and darted into the trees, its back leg wagging oddly beneath it, broken and flinging blood. It disappeared into the trees, apparently not yet ready to die.
Bella lurched forward, her mind rapidly giving way to an entirely new instinct, one that was ungodly in its strength. She gasped for air, but her mouth was just filled with the lingering aroma of blood.
She was a second away from mindlessly bolting after the doe when a voice called out her name.
"Bella! Bella! Where the hell are you? Bells!"
Torn, Bella hesitated and flipped around, stirred by Alice's familiar voice. She took a step towards it and staggered with a pained whine, slamming into a nearby tree as agony burst inside her. The burning in her throat spread to her chest, hungrily, like a wildfire. She dug her nails into the trunk, peeling bark away beneath her fingernails.
"Alice! Alice, come back! Stop it-Would you just wait a damn second?"
Bella's yearning for her mate quickly devolved into a rugged growl at the sound of Jasper's voice. With strong eyes, Bella peered deep into the forest, took a few steps in and pushed back a stray branch, shaking.
She saw Alice through a tangle of brush and leaves, storming into a clearing with Jasper right behind her.
She could catch that doe. It was wounded, and slow. Bella was fast and powerful. She could stop this burning.
But Alice was here, with Jasper on her heels.
Bella's instincts went to war. She stared at them with wide eyes, silent and struggling.
"What Jasper? What do you want? Haven't you done enough with your petty little comment?" Alice whipped around on him, evidently furious.
"No, I haven't done nearly enough. And it's not like it wasn't the truth," Jasper said and ignored Alice's scowl.
"What do you want?" Alice demanded again.
"I want to talk to you before you go running off after your precious Bella," Jasper snapped, running a hand through his honey blond curls.
Alice rolled her eyes viciously, but stopped when Jasper growled.
Bella would have lit across the clearing and clocked him cleanly for it if she wasn't fighting bloodlust with every ounce of willpower she possessed. It felt like two beings were pulling at her from both directions, back towards the doe or into the clearing towards Alice. She wasn't sure which way she would go if she moved, and she wasn't sure what she would do once she went either way.
"Just listen to me! I deserve that much don't I?" Jasper pleaded, his voice softening with a tinge of desperation.
Alice blanched at the ache in his voice, and paused for a long moment, as if heavily deliberating it. Finally, she seemed to yield the slightest bit.
"Fine. Talk. But make it quick. I have to find her before she gets herself into trouble like she always does," Alice relented.
Jasper took a deep breath, and cut straight to the point. It was something he and Alice had in common.
"Were you ever in love with me?" he asked in a soft but firm tone, ducking his head to catch Alice's eyes properly.
Alice sighed and looked away from him, not in Bella's direction, and therefore not seeing her.
"Jazz…" Alice started, and this time she was the one pushing her hair back. "Please, don't do this right now…"
"It's not going to take long. Just answer me, Alice. Please just answer me damn it! Give me this much. I deserve at least one conversation with you about this. I came back for you. I came back because you asked me to, so I deserve this much."
Jealousy made a strong contender for Bella's bloodlust, but one rough inhale was enough to even the grounds again. There was blood all over the dirt not ten feet behind her. She was out of her conscious mind at this point.
Alice took a heavy breath of her own, but at the look in Jasper's eyes, she again crumpled and relented. She sounded defeated when she spoke.
"Yes, Jasper, of course I loved you-"
"No, you were in love with me at least at some point during our marriage?" Jasper reiterated forcefully.
"Yes," Alice scowled, seemingly annoyed by the clarification. "I didn't marry you for no reason, despite what you think. I was in love with you, or so I thought, up until I met Bella."
Those words seemed to cut Jasper a little, but he pushed on, stepping closer to Alice in a way that made Bella's hackles rise.
"I'm not trying to hurt you, Jasper…" Alice murmured, softening when Jasper flinched a little at the reminder of Bella's existence. Alice's endless compassion radiated from her as it always did.
"And I'm right in assuming that you're not foolish enough to think a love like we had could simply be erased, just like that?" Jasper continued as if he hadn't heard, his eyes burning with intensity.
Alice seemed to cotton on to where he was going and again shook her head, frustrated and clearly pained by his words.
"It wasn't erased-"
"I'm right in thinking that you can't really believe that the way you felt for me just up and disappeared the moment you locked eyes with her? Because we both know you were never a love at first sight kind of girl, Alice," Jasper interrupted her swiftly.
Alice huffed in exasperation, but Jasper didn't relent in his determined stare.
"No but-Stop trying to twist this! I love her and you're just going to have to-"
"I'm not twisting anything! All I'm saying is facts. All I'm saying-All I'm asking you is if you really think you never loved me as much as you love her. If one year with her can stand up to fifty years with me, if you really think you're not in love with me at all anymore. I can see it in your eyes, Alice. I can feel it. I can always feel what you feel. I always could!"
"God damn it Jasper, just stop it! You have no idea what I feel!" Alice finally burst out, throwing her hands out defensively, but her voice cracked on the last word.
It seemed, impossibly, that Jasper was getting to her. Alice could barely meet his eyes. It sent a trickle of foreboding down a trembling Bella's back.
"Then tell me!" Jasper growled, a yearning in his voice that made Bella hate him from deep within her being, mostly because it matched the yearning she felt in herself for Alice almost exactly. "Tell me how you really feel, because I don't believe this façade you're putting up with everyone else! You can fool them, you can even fool Bella, but you can't fool me! If I'm feeling your emotions wrongly, then tell me how."
Shockingly, Alice obliged his request. Her eyes flashed and she clenched her hands into fists.
"You think I wanted this? You think that wasn't the hardest decision I ever had to make, between you and Bella? You think it was easy? You think I didn't struggle with my emotions, think I still don't lay awake at night next to her wondering if I fucked it all up?"
Bella's jealousy and protectiveness received a wicked punch of shock, and even the bloodlust seemed to still be in astonishment, as if her brain was putting everything on hold to process this revelation. A different kind of pain filled her chest, one all too human.
"You think I just threw away our marriage like trash? Because I didn't. It killed me Jasper. It still does. You were my other half and I didn't lightly make my decision, I didn't just toss it away! Every day I've missed you, my best friend, my husband."
Jasper's eyes flared with hope and adoration that made Bella want to be physically sick, and coupled with Alice's words, it was a wonder she didn't retch. He stepped even closer, and his hands cupped her face. Alice made a noise, a pitiful broken sound, and put her hands on his chest, but did not push him away. She seemed to have no strength in her arms.
"Jasper, please, don't do this… I can't do this with you. I have to go find Bella. I'm with her now. I made my choice. It's over between us, so just stop… Please just stop…" Alice begged.
She should not be begging. She should be shoving him away, declaring her love for Bella undyingly, but she didn't. There were tears in her eyes.
Bella didn't move. Her mind was too stunned to do a thing.
"Tell me you don't feel it Alice. Tell me you don't love me. Tell me again that you don't love me the way you love her, that you never did," Jasper hissed, clutching her face the way Bella had so many times before. "Tell me you don't still feel it, because I do. I feel it all around me. Tell me it's not real…"
"I…" Alice swallowed, and Jasper's head dipped, and Bella's stomach clenched violently at the movement. "I don't know… Jazz, I do love you, I do, but I don't think-I don't know-"
She didn't know? Alice didn't know if she was in love with him or not?
"You lay awake at night wondering if you chose wrongly, right? You wonder every day if you were mistaken, if you really loved me instead, and I swear you were Alice. Let me prove that to you. One last kiss, to be sure. If I'm wrong, if you don't feel it, then at least you'll know for sure, and I can move on too. We can both move on. But if we don't do this, then you know as well as I do that we'll both leave here wondering what could have been. What should have been…"
"I can't, Jasper… I'm with Bella, I-"
"It didn't stop you when you were with me, so why now?" Jasper hissed, though without malice. Their lips nearly brushed, and Bella's brain screamed.
Alice was supposed to be getting the fuck away from him, not encouraging this! Just get back, get her mouth far, far away from his!
Why didn't Alice move?
Why didn't Bella?
"Just one kiss. One kiss, to make sure. One last kiss, Alice, just to be sure…" Jasper murmured beseechingly, his blonde lashes fluttering enticingly. Alice's lips quivered just slightly.
"I am sure," Alice snapped, but she didn't move and her declaration was so blatantly weak that Bella wanted to sob aloud.
"If you were sure, you'd be pushing me away right now. But you're not. One last kiss Alice, and then we'll know who you really love…"
There was a long, breath taking pause, then Alice seemed to soften.
And once again, she yielded to him.
Bella saw it in her but didn't really believe it, until Alice gave the weakest of sighs, and then tilted her mouth up to meet Jasper's.
Their lips touched.
A steel fist punched a hole through Bella's gut, and fiery rage plumed through her.
It slapped her brain back into action, and just like that, all the blood lust came rushing back with a vengeance, stronger for having been resisted so furiously for so long. And somehow the rage fueled it, made the desire for violence scream inside her.
Bella wanted to kill. She wanted to fly across the clearing and rip into Jasper, tear him to absolute shreds, and then turn on Alice and hurt her too.
No.
But because she could never hurt Alice, not even now, Bella turned on her heels and bolted away without a sound.