Chapter 29
I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR CHARACTERS
Bella didn't respond to Jasper's greeting, at least not verbally. She took a deep breath and looked him right in the eyes. She licked her lips, clenched her fists. Jasper shifted all his weight onto his right foot, held his arms loosely at his sides. Their body posture screamed the words neither of them were speaking.
Something inside Bella stirred at the direct meeting of their eyes. It begged for physical violence, but she shook it off and took a deep breath.
Oh for God's sake, she thought as they continued to watch each other in dead silence. This is ridiculous.
"We need to talk," Bella finally spoke up, her heart skipping a beat.
Jasper quirked an eyebrow at her. He seemed unperturbed, but Bella's newborn eyes caught the slight twitching of the muscle in his jaw. He hid it better than Alice ever did when she was angry or upset.
"Okay. Let's talk," Jasper responded lightly.
Bella watched the way he shifted more than heard the way he spoke. Her eyes watched every movement, every flicker of his body like a hawk.
The silence descended once more. Primal instincts began to rise up the longer she remained tongue tied fighting them, fighting the rise of emotion in her.
Anger. Betrayal. Guilt and shame. Utter frustration.
She tried to contain it.
She failed.
"Why'd you do it, Jasper?" Bella blurted, her shoulders bunching together when he tilted his chin up in a subtle display of defiance.
"Do what?" he said softly, in a tone as if she'd just asked him what he'd done for his summer vacation.
"Don't," Bella bit out, eyes flashing. "Don't do that. Do you really want to play games right now? Is that how you want this to go? Pretending like nothing's happened, like you didn't-"
"Didn't what?" Jasper barked, cutting her off. Bella watched his amber eyes darken to burnt chestnut. His voice finally matched with what it should. All it did was make the hair on the back of Bella's neck rise, her breathing pick up.
Part of her wondered if she should be doing this. Part of her wondered if maybe it would be better to just walk away. Jasper wasn't exactly known for his control, and though Bella had proven to be exceptional at controlling herself, she also knew the feeling of when it was going to leap from her hands. She could already feel that rubber band stretching back warningly as they stared each other down.
But god, she was so tired of just walking away. So tired of everything wrong in her life weighing on her like a million tons of rock, crushing her.
So she didn't. She gritted her teeth and listened as Jasper suddenly tore into her.
"You're right, Bella. Let's not play games here. Let's not pretend like we don't know what happened, like we don't know that all I did was exactly what you did to me," Jasper snapped, and then abruptly looked away, his jaw clenching.
The wind blew lightly, ruffling Bella's hair lightly as she clenched her teeth so hard it felt like they would break.
"So if you want to come down here, get onto me, get mad at me-If you think you've got any right after what you did…" Jasper said, trailing away as their eyes met again.
The worst part was that he was right. That's what made Bella want to scream at him in frustration. She had to close her eyes and breathe in hard through her nose to keep from losing it. She veered sharply, desperate not to go down the path of the fury ringing in her ears.
"I get that. And I'm sorry Jasper. I am so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. But I didn't really take her, did I?" Bella said slowly and the look of disbelief on Jasper's face at her words was scathing. "She came to me. I tried to walk away. I never deliberately tried to steal your wife. And yes I love her and yes I became closer to her than I should have, and I'm not saying that this isn't partially my fault, but Alice loves me. She left you for me. And that's not my fault."
The laugh that burst out of Jasper then was utterly lacking in humor.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" he growled, and took a step towards her. Bella braced and bared her fangs before she had a chance to stop herself.
This is getting dangerous, her common sense warned her.
Good, her heart replied.
"This is your fault! You're the one that confused her by biting her. You're the one that started all this. You swayed my Alice. Whether you meant to or not doesn't matter. You still did it. You still took her from me. You may not have done it on purpose, but you. Still. Did it!"
His use of the word 'my' in relation to Alice made something inside Bella scream in protest.
"It's not like I came to her on hands and knees, shouting my love from the rooftops!" Bella practically snarled back, fighting down her rage. "It just happened! And you know what? I'm not sorry for that. I'm not sorry for loving her, and I'm sure as hell not sorry that she loves me back. I'm sorry you got hurt and I know this is fucked up, but I think what's really eating you up is that you know it's true. You know she left you willingly. You know she loves me. And you can't blame me for that."
Jasper snarled like a rabid dog and took another step towards her, so they were nearly nose to nose. Bella's entire body tensed and the rubber band stretched back so far that she knew when it snapped it was going to be bad.
But she refused to walk away.
She reigned in her anger desperately. She could tell that Jasper was hurting, and really, that's not what she wanted when she came down here. She wasn't trying to start a fight. Deep down she hated the pain she saw in him. She could see it blatantly in his eyes, radiating.
This talk needed to happen. It did. They needed to sort this out, but she didn't want this to end in even more pain and suffering.
But Jasper had to know. He had to know how it was now. He had to know that Bella wasn't going to just give Alice up. That was not even remotely a possibility in her realm of reality.
No way.
"We fell in love," Bella said, softening as Jasper's eyes grew darker and darker. "We didn't do this to hurt you. It just happened. People-We can't control falling in love. You of all people should know that, Jasper."
For a long moment, Jasper didn't reply, just seethed silently.
And then he scoffed, took a step back and smiled.
Huh?
"Fine. You're right," he shrugged.
Uh… I am? Bella narrowed her eyes slightly.
Then the smile slipped away.
"You two fell in love. It kills me that Alice fell for someone else, but I get it. But I also know she loved me for a lot longer than she's ever loved you. And I can't control wanting her back. And I know what's got you so up in arms about me kissing her. You're afraid she's going to come back to me and forget all about your love," Jasper scowled, practically putting finger quotes around 'your love'.
Bella's heart stopped. He had hit the nail on the head and driven it straight through her chest. He'd guessed her fears so easily.
Suddenly all her sympathy and empathy for him was gone. The rage came searing back.
"And the fact of the matter is, if I can take Alice back, I'm going to do it. If that means kissing her in the woods and breaking your heart like you broke mine, I'm going to do it. If she comes to me, I will open my arms for her. Maybe she will. Maybe she won't. I'm not doing this to hurt you, the same way you didn't do it to hurt me. But I'm going to do everything I can to get her back from you."
Caution and logic and rationality did not just fly out the window, they shattered it.
Jasper's declaration pinged something hard and violent and possessive inside Bella that she had no hope of controlling. Winds whirled inside her skull, the familiar storm stirring to life.
And so easily, so quickly, Bella lost all hope of controlling it.
"No, you're not," Bella ground out through clenched teeth and took a step towards him. Jasper only cocked his head slightly, appraising her.
"We both love her, Bella. Now we're going to find out who she really loves. All's fair in love and war, right?" Jasper murmured in that godforsaken slight Southern drawl.
Bella's stomach boiled with fury, bubbling up into something hot inside her chest.
"Face it, Jasper. She doesn't love you anymore. She loves me. So back off!" she hissed in his face.
"What is it, Bella?" he whispered as Bella's anger became a palpable thing on the air. "Are you scared? Are you scared I'm going to take back what's rightfully mine?"
Jasper should have known better than anyone not to taunt Bella when so was so very clearly teetering on the edge of control.
The rubber band snapped without warning and slapped the back of Bella's skull. It all turned into a storm of instinct and carnal possession, a love bred down in the deepest, darkest parts of her.
"She is not YOURS!" Bella snarled and shoved him, hard.
Jasper staggered back a few feet and then bowed up like a rhinoceros about to charge, baring all his teeth at her. His eyes flashed to black as his growl reverberated around the yard.
"She. Is. MINE!"
Her words hit Jasper like a slap across the mouth. His only response was a gut wrenching snarl.
And then he lunged for her.
Bella met him head on. They clashed with a clap of thunder and swinging fists.
Bella was hopelessly outmatched. She couldn't possibly know that in her state of mind; it did not matter that Jasper had centuries of experience on her, that he was bigger, stronger, faster.
All that mattered was hurting him.
Bella felt something crack immediately inside her ribs, felt pain lance up her side but it was dulled by the satisfying crunch of her elbow slamming into Jasper's nose. It was all a blur as an unbridled rage she'd never felt before reared up inside her. It was all anger and hatred.
He would not take Alice from her. No one would ever take her Alice.
She felt more than heard Jasper's snarling. His arms wrapped around her waist and suddenly she was flying through the air as he just up and threw her. Bella hit the ground and came up rolling just in time for his fist to crack her across the temple.
She staggered back but when Jasper lunged for her again, instinct said swing.
So she swung.
Bella's fist came around and clocked him across the side of the head. He staggered sideways from the force of the blow, but when Bella went to follow through, hissing like a wild cat, he lurched out of the way with surprising swiftness. She tripped forward, off balance, and quickly spun around, desperate not to be caught off guard.
She was.
The moment Bella regained her balance was the moment Jasper's knee came rocketing into her face. She had barely even hit the ground as pain exploded inside her skull before he picked her up and threw her again. When she came back to earth with a jarring thud, he was already on her, his knee pinning her to the ground by her chest as he snarled above her. Her bones creaked in protest as she hissed up at him.
"She's mine!" Jasper bellowed down at her, and brought his hands up together high above his head, presumably to smash her face off.
There was nothing Bella could do but squirm beneath him, trapped, and wait to be destroyed.
And softly, like the hug of an old friend, the storm blew away. Bella went calm, and she waited in that breathless moment for the path to open up and tell her what to do.
But Bella didn't have to do anything.
A streak hit Jasper like a cannonball.
One moment he was there, the next second gone.
Bella surged up without thinking about it and crouched down low, eyes wild, wondering who or what had knocked Jasper off of her in his moment of triumph.
And of course, of course, of course, it was Alice.
It would always be Alice.
She watched in shock and awe as the pixie like vampire went crashing down atop Jasper, face twisted up in fury.
She hit him once, twice, three times in quick succession across the face-Crackcrackcrack.
Jasper snarled at her and lurched upwards as Alice twisted off of him, but before he could do a damned thing, Alice spun around him like a ballerina on the graceful tips of her toes, leapt onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Enough!" she cried in her hardened, high pitched voice. Jasper just snarled some more and clutched at her arms, shaking like a wild dog.
For one brief, terrifying moment, Bella expected him to haul her over his shoulders and slam her into the ground like the last time this had happened, but Alice wasn't having it.
"I said enough!"
Alice suddenly dropped down, wrapped her arms around his waist, and arched back. She straight up suplexed Jasper backwards and drove him into the ground.
Alice rolled away and to her feet as Jasper rolled onto his hands and knees, stunned from landing straight on the back of his neck. As he struggled upwards, Alice's foot came around and cracked him on the side of the head with a dull boom. Jasper rolled out flat on his back as chips of his face went flying through the air and lay still.
Bella stared, gaping. She had to consciously close her own mouth, her breath hitching. Her innate survival ability had cleared her mind and she could only watch anxiously, regretting immediately her decision to come down here and talk to Jasper.
Alice stood over him, chest heaving, eyes blazing.
"Enough," she panted hotly. "No more."
Jasper stared up at her, blinking. He seemed to have been beaten back into a proper state of mind as he gazed up at his ex wife. That or he was too stunned to do anything at the moment.
"This is over. It's over. You will never, ever touch her again, do you hear me?" Alice snapped. "If you ever lay hands on her again, I'll kill you."
Bella heard someone gasp and spun around to see all the Cullens and Leah standing on the back porch, watching them. Esme's hand was over her mouth, clearly the one to have made the noise. Carlisle looked perturbed, as did all of them, except Leah, who seemed to be trying not to laugh. She also had a hand over her mouth, but her shoulders were shaking.
Bella sighed internally.
Leah sure was something.
She turned back around quickly and stood up straight, her mind slowly calming. Something about seeing Alice lay down the law to Jasper did wonders for her instincts. She was not surprised that Alice had come to protect her.
But she was surprised to hear her words, the kind of surprised that made her breath hold in her chest, filling her lungs till they hurt in a way that was painful but oh so good.
Her heart ached, seeing Alice there, in all her righteous glory. She stared at Alice, longed for the crook of her neck, the support of her arms around her, the brush of lips against her.
"Jasper," Alice said softly. "Jasper, you need to listen to me."
Jasper sat up and stared at Alice, face unreadable, cracked like a spider web.
"We're over. Anything that ever was between is over now. I don't love you. I love Bella. You wanted to know who I really loved, wanted me to be sure… Well I'm sure now. I am sure that it's Bella. It has always been Bella."
Bella's heart soared.
She took a heavy, shaky breath and let it out in a rattle.
It's me. She picked me. Alice loves me.
Relief settled over her sweetly, soothingly. The weight lifted, finally.
She's not going to leave me for him. She still loves me.
Bella resisted the sudden strong urge to sob, or fall to her knees. She panted and clutched at her aching ribs instead, her eyes shutting for a bit longer than a standard blink.
I haven't lost her, she thought, throat tight. Thank God. Thank fucking God.
"But you kissed me back," Jasper croaked out.
There was something utterly profound and painful in his voice. Bella thought he might be crying and she had to swallow the spike of pain that went through her for him. She had truly never wanted to hurt him. Without the possessive shit clouding her mind, all she could think was how it all got so fucked up.
She didn't hate Jasper. Her instincts might, but Bella didn't. Not really. Even though they'd just been intent on tearing each other apart moments before, Bella couldn't hate him. She knew she'd have done the same thing in his position. She'd probably have been a lot worse about it, actually.
It was no surprise that they'd fought, really, over a girl like Alice. There was no halfway loving that girl. Loving Alice stole all the heart and soul a person could give.
"I did. I admit that. I shouldn't have. I second guessed myself. Our love was real, I don't deny that. I could barely believe that it could be gone, just like that. But our love is over now. My love for Bella-It is so much more. I choose her. I know that now. I knew it the moment we kissed that it would never compare to what I feel with Bella. That kiss… It did what you thought it would, but not what you wanted it to. It made me sure of what I feel."
Jasper flinched and licked his lips. He nodded slowly and looked away.
"And seeing you attack her-Jasper, I mean it. I mean it with everything I have. If you ever go after her again…"
"She came after me," Jasper snapped practically petulantly, standing up now.
Bella shifted guiltily.
Okay.
Well, yeah.
She had started the fight…
"I don't really give a damn," Alice murmured in a voice like ice.
It sent shivers through Bella, not entirely unpleasant. She could hear and see the conviction in Alice. She knew her well enough to know when Alice meant what she was saying. When her eyes were hard like that, when her shoulders were tense, when her jaw was clenched and her lips were pursed, Alice meant it.
Bella felt tears streaming down her face. She wasn't sure of the exact reason why she was crying as there could be so many, but she wiped them away, gritting her teeth.
The yard was silent for a long moment. Bella could hear Esme sniffling and wished suddenly that the Cullens were not here to see this. She felt like she was tearing them all apart. She wondered vaguely if Esme would hate her now.
"This is really over between us?" Jasper murmured after a while, his voice thick and heavy. He sounded resigned. It seemed to have finally hit him, and hit him hard.
"Yes," Alice breathed.
"You're sure?"
"Jasper."
Jasper nodded and Bella couldn't blame him for clarifying one last time.
"Okay. Okay… I think I already knew but I… That's…"
He seemed to have no words left. Bella could see him sinking into himself and the guilt came rushing back.
I'm so sorry, Jasper, she thought desperately, wished she had the courage to speak up and tell him.
"I'm sorry, Alice. I should have controlled myself better. I still love you and a part of me always will, but I understand. It kills me, but I understand…"
Alice nodded slowly and Jasper took a deep breath. Then he turned and looked at Bella.
Bella steeled herself, but she needn't have bothered.
"I'm sorry for fighting you, Bella. I shouldn't have done that," he muttered.
The shock at his apology sent a bolt through her chest. God, she had never wanted to hurt this man.
"I'm sorry too, Jasper. I'm so sorry. For everything," Bella choked out, trying not to sob. "I never meant - "
"I know," he cut her off. "I know…"
The yard became silent for the hundredth time, awkwardly so.
"If you all will excuse me… I think I'm going to go hunt. I apologize for the ruckus, Esme," Jasper said.
Esme just sobbed a little and Carlisle wrapped his arm around her.
"I'll go with you," Emmett declared, stepping off the porch quickly.
"I want to be alone," Jasper stated.
"We gotta use the buddy system, remember? No telling what the Volturi are up to. I'll stay out of your way, I promise," Emmett replied immediately, his voice brooking no room for argument.
Jasper seemed to have no will to argue anyway. He just took one last look at Alice, who softened just slightly enough for him to be able to walk away and disappear into the forest with Emmett following after him.
The moment he was gone, Alice turned and walked to Bella.
Step after step, each a punch to the heart until Alice stood right before her, licked her full bottom pink lip which Bella desperately wanted to kiss even with the air so full between them with all the things she wanted to say to her.
I understand, but I don't.
I know why you kissed him, but I wish you hadn't.
I love you, but you're killing me.
"We need to talk," Alice said quietly, and she was so close that Bella could smell her everywhere, all white chocolate and berries, smell the mint of her cool breath, flitting faintly across her face.
Bella just nodded. Somehow the words 'we need to talk' were so much more daunting coming from Alice.
Alice took her hand then, and Bella swallowed hard at the way their fingers clasped, the sensation of Alice's skin on hers after so long. It felt so painfully good. The pixie gently pulled her towards the house and through the front door.
The Cullens just watched them go, nothing to say though their eyes were expressing thoughts Bella had no idea how to read.
Bella chanced a glance back at Leah, slightly panicking and searching for a last bit of help.
Leah smiled slightly and winked at her.
And then the door closed behind them.
Bella sat on Alice's bed, feet on the floor as Alice shut the door behind her with a soft click.
Their eyes met, like magnets. It was something that they always did, was a part of them. Their eyes sought each other's out, always, to connect, to see into each other's souls.
Bella saw her. Through shades of black, she saw into Alice's heart. The ache, the guilt, the love, all that love.
She nearly bit through her bottom lip as her hands clenched in the duvet. Alice noticed, of course, and Bella watched her lovely little chest rise with a deep breath. Bella braced, and Alice spoke.
"I'm sorry," Alice murmured.
Her voice caressed Bella lovingly. It did not ask of her anything but to listen, so Bella kept her mouth shut though a thousand things to say ran through her mind. She watched as Alice walked forward and stopped a few feet away from her.
"I'm sorry I kissed him back. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for all the things I've done that ever hurt you, Bella. I never wanted that. All I've ever wanted from the moment I met you was to see you smile. To see you laugh. To see you happy. It should have been a tip off, right? How much I wanted to make you happy… I should have known from the first time you smiled at me how head over heels in trouble I was…"
Bella swallowed and rubbed her tongue over the roof of her mouth, her heart rejoicing bitter sweetly.
"But I didn't. You crept up on me. I don't believe in love at first sight… Infatuation, yeah, you had me there. But love? No. You slid up on me the way you always do, and before I knew it… Well, here we are," Alice said with a soft laugh, holding up her hands and shrugging with a slight, watery smile.
"And where exactly is here?" Bella replied, voice thick with emotion. "Where are we now, Alice? Because I really don't know anymore."
That took the smile off of Alice's face, and Bella hated herself for it.
But the doubts and worries inside of her demanded to be known just as much as her love.
"You said out there, that you were sure now, that you knew without a doubt that it's me you love, and not him. But what if you start second guessing yourself again? What if the doubts come back? If you've had them once, you can have them again, and I had no idea you weren't sure before. I thought I always knew what you were thinking the way you always know what's on my mind, but I was blindsided… I had no idea. You told me that you were with me and then-You kissed him so how can I know you mean it? How can I ever-"
Bella was on her feet, speaking so fast that she was losing herself as she choked back a sob and pain flashed in Alice's eyes.
"I love you Alice. There's not a doubt in my mind. And I can't be with you if you aren't actually sure, and if I can't trust you because-Because of you kissing him when I was so sure that you were sure-But goddamn, Alice, I don't want to lose you. But I don't know how to look at you without wondering if some day you'll fall for someone else the way you fell for me, if I'll end up just like Jasper someday…"
"Bella, stop," Alice breathed. "You can't think that way. That's not-It's not fair. I can't see that far into the future. I don't believe in destiny or fate or any of that. I believe things work because people put the effort into it. I don't know if we're going to be forever. How could I possibly know that? All I know is that I want to try. That's what I want because I love you so much that it's all I can ever think about. Maybe someday I'll end up like Jasper, if irony has a really shitty sense of humor. Maybe you'll find some guy or girl who tears you away from me, and I'll just have to wave goodbye."
"That would never happen," Bella snapped, her breath hitching.
How could she even-?
"You don't know that!" Alice cried. "All we know is what we have right now, what we feel. We can't live in the future, Bella. I know that better than anyone. It changes so often for reasons that you could never see coming, that I can't put my faith in what's meant to be or any of that nonsense. What the future holds is what we make it."
Bella shook her head and chewed the tip of her tongue, crying again already.
"You told me 'always'," Bella breathed out and Alice eyes suddenly gleamed in the lamplight.
"And I meant that… I said 'always' because 'always' is what I want with you, Bella. I can't guarantee it but if I have my say then we will be together always," Alice replied quietly.
"Now you're just contradicting yourself," Bella scoffed, though she knew she was being petty as Alice scowled.
Her heart was just aching so much. Fighting with Alice always put that ache in her chest, that dull, bruising throb that tore her up inside.
But Alice didn't relent.
"No, I'm not. Bella, all I know is that I love you with my whole heart, and I have never lied to you. Never. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in this whole goddamn-This whole world, Bells. I have never felt this way for anyone else. Not Jasper, not anyone. It's not like this is a recurring problem; that I fall for someone while I'm with someone else. This is the first time that anyone has ever hit me so hard, and I can't imagine how anyone could ever hit me harder… How could I love anyone more than I love you?"
"But if you did-"
"For God's sake!" Alice threw up her hands and then grabbed Bella's hands. "What if, what if, what if? What if you fall for someone else? What if I do fall for someone else again? I don't know what's going to happen, Bella. I can't promise you forever the same way you'd be lying if you promised me forever. I see the future, not the rest of eternity. I promised Jasper forever and look how that ended up!"
Bella pulled her hands away and wrapped her arms around herself, hating how much sense Alice's words made. Her recoiling made Alice sigh heavily and rub at her face.
I'm not asking for forever, she thought, frustrated. I just want to know I'm not going to lose her. I need to know that she really loves me like she says she does, that she's not still torn between me and Jasper.
"How do I know you mean all of this?" Bella whispered, wiping furiously at her tears, her heart begging for her to just let it go, but she just wasn't so sure, not quite yet. "What if Jasper comes calling again-"
"How do I know you won't go back to Edward if he comes calling?" Alice huffed out, rolling her eyes in exasperation.
"Because I didn't kiss him," Bella scowled and Alice pinched the bridge of her nose.
It was a ridiculous notion and they both knew it.
"Look, Bella… I don't know how else to prove it to you. Did you think I was kidding out there? I meant it when I said I'd kill him if he ever touched you again. I'd kill Jasper for you. I don't love him anymore, not like that."
"Then why did you let him kiss you? Are you still confused about who you really love or-"
It was the culmination of every fear and doubt Bella had been keeping inside all week, bubbling up all at once.
Alice cut her off immediately, her eyes flashing in that familiar blaze of passion that always made Bella's gut clench. When she spoke it was firm and unyielding, sincere and fervent, and her voice tugged at Bella's heartstrings like a practiced harpist.
"I let him kiss me because I could hardly believe I couldn't love him anymore after how long we were together, and that I could love you so much in such a short time that he couldn't even compare. I thought maybe I was still confused; maybe I'd been wrong because how could I love you so much? How could anyone love someone that much, as much as I love you?" Alice gasped as if she truly couldn't believe it, as if even now she barely could.
Alice shook her head and swallowed so hard that Bella could see her throat bob before she went on, speaking faster with every word, gaining momentum, dragging Bella higher and higher.
"But when he kissed me all I could think of was you and how his lips could never compare to yours, how he doesn't make my heart feel so full, how he doesn't bring me to life the way you do. I thought of your lips, your eyes, your smile, and how I'd rather die than be without you. When I thought you'd died, I was ready to end myself because not having you hurt too much."
"Alice," Bella breathed, hurt to hear that Alice had ever wanted to end her own life, especially for Bella. She never wanted that for Alice, never wanted her to feel that way for any reason. But the rest of her words made her heart beat harder, purposefully, as Alice professed exactly how she really felt for her.
"I won't lie to you, Bella. I refuse. I love you and I want to be with you. I want to see what our future holds, and I hope it's forever, because I love you that much. I hope this feeling never goes away. I hope it's not already gone for you. I hope I didn't mess everything up trying to deal with how much I love you."
Their eyes met again.
Bella's heart throbbed as Alice finally gave a weak sob. Alice, who never completely broke down like this was suddenly falling apart in front of her.
At the sound, Bella's heart gave in.
"And if you don't want to be with me anymore, I understand. I do. I'll try and find a way to move on without you, but I don't want to. I really don't want to. Please just tell me now if you can't do this anymore. Please just end it now, not later, because I c-can't-"
Alice's voice broke mid-sentence and Bella couldn't take it anymore.
She lunged forward and kissed her.
Their lips met in a mutual sob. Alice's arms flung around her neck immediately as Bella wrapped hers around the pixie's sweet waist, pulled her so close their chests moved together, breathed together, so close that Bella only wanted to be closer.
Alice's lips tasted like bliss personified. Bella tasted her own tears in the mix as she squeezed Alice even closer and Alice's fingers raked through her hair, nails trailing her scalp deliciously. Alice pushed forward as their tongues met until the backs of Bella's knees hit the mattress and she sat down with a muffled moan.
This reconciliation filled her chest with warmth, with a sweetness that left her breathless and ever hungry, because she would never have enough of Alice, would never be able to stop loving her. Alice may not have believed Bella could promise her forever, but Bella knew without a doubt that this love was an always kind of love. How could it be anything else?
Always.
Their lips parted with a gasp as Alice peppered her mouth with more kisses, her cheeks, her jaw line, her neck, trailing back up to drag over her temple, coming to rest between her eyes as Bella kissed at her chin, squeezed her hips and pulled her farther onto her lap.
"You hurt me, Alice," Bella whispered as Alice's fingers wiped her tears away fervently, thumbs dragging lovingly over the skin just beneath her eyes.
"I know," Alice breathed back, kissing down the bridge of her nose, down to her lips.
"I love you anyway," Bella gasped as Alice sucked lightly at a patch of skin beneath her jaw before sweeping back up to let their tongues meet again.
My Alice, my sweet Alice…
"I know," Alice replied desperately, pushing Bella's hair back and out of the way. "Please forgive me, baby, please…"
But of course, Bella's heart sighed helplessly.
"I do. I'm not ending this. How could I ever? I still love you so much," Bella whimpered out between sweet kisses as Alice sobbed in what could only be relief, in joy.
"I love you too, Bella. God, I love you too. So much," Alice laughed then, a breathless giggle against Bella's mouth that was equal parts painful and beautiful. Bella whimpered back and then moaned when their kiss deepened.
Their kisses eventually trailed away. Bella ended up with her face in the crook of Alice's neck, nuzzling her gently as Alice petted her hair. Bella ran her hands up and down Alice's back, feeling the smooth, cool skin, sighing softly in contentment.
It's safe here, she thought. It's good here, in her arms.
It had worked out. It would all work out. So maybe it still stung that Alice had kissed Jasper, but she would forgive that. She understood. So much had been asked of Alice's heart this past year, and Bella couldn't fault her for being confused.
She hoped so desperately that Alice's words were true though; that her confusion was completely gone now. Alice had never lied to her before so Bella was going to trust her with all her heart as she always did.
And maybe Alice couldn't promise the future, but Bella definitely wanted to try.
The future would have to pry this love from her hands with all its might.
Soon she fell back on the bed with Alice on top of her, kissing softly at her neck, the corners of her mouth. Her hands felt at Bella's stomach until the muscles stopped jumping hungrily at her touch and finally just relaxed. Their legs got all tangled up and Bella closed her eyes, feeling for the first time in a long time that everything would be alright. Alice's touch was a balm to every fear, every pain, every worry that had weighed her down this past week.
I love you so much, Alice, Bella thought. I never want to lose her. I don't know how I could ever live without this girl…
"Thank you," Alice murmured to her ear after a while.
"For what?" Bella replied softly.
"For giving me another chance."
As if I ever had a choice. As if I ever couldn't.
Bella turned and brushed their noses together affectionately, not needing to reply.
They stayed that way, silent and just being with each other for what must have been hours. They didn't need any more words. They just wanted to fall into each other. Bella wanted to stay in here and hide from the rest of the world for the rest of her life.
It was good. It was so good. Nothing could touch her here, not the Volturi, not the werewolves, nothing.
Not when she was with Alice.
Bella was drifting off to sleep with Alice's fingers combing through her hair when a rude knocking at the door ruined it.
Bella sighed and stared up at the ceiling as Alice chuckled lightly at her.
"I knew that was going to happen," Alice mumbled. "Carlisle wants to talk to us…"
"Of course he does," Bella huffed. "Someone always wants to talk to us."
She did not want this bubble of bliss popped. Not yet, not ever.
"I mean, we are pretty popular," Alice shrugged, a smirk quirking the corners of her lips.
Bella rolled her eyes, biting her lower lip to fight her grin.
God, she had missed this girl.
"Come on. Let's get it over with, Tiger. We're gonna have to deal with real life sooner or later," Alice tugged on her hands, while kissing her lightly on the lips, making Bella's heart skip.
She had missed that too. She licked her lips to get a little more of Alice's taste.
"Why?" Bella whined pitifully, and then yelped when Alice slapped her on the ass.
"Hey!"
Alice stuck her tongue out at her and then winked sultrily, before making her way to the door. Just as she was about to open it she shot straight up with a yelp of her own at Bella's retaliatory slap of her own rear end.
"You-" Alice whirled around, outraged, and stopped at the smirk and raised eyebrow on Bella's face.
"You little minx," Alice grinned broadly, and shoved her shoulder with a giggle. Bella laughed, and then Alice opened the door with a slight roll of her eyes.
They came face to face with Leah.
"Hey, Pixie Sticks. Papa Cullen has demanded your presence, if you're done having make-up hanky-panky," Leah drawled with a slight smirk, leaning on the door frame.
"We weren't having sex," Bella huffed, glaring at her tactless friend.
Way to absolutely ruin the moment.
Granted their moment had lasted what must have been at least three hours, but still.
"Whatever you say, mami," Leah laughed as they walked past her.
"We weren't. Trust me, you'd have known if we were," Alice said in a voice like melted chocolate, turning around to smirk at them over her shoulder before she sauntered down the hallway, hips swinging the whole way before she disappeared down the stairs.
Bella and Leah both gawped after her, before Bella shoved her friend for staring at her girlfriend's ass, which made Leah snicker. It seemed Alice was much more tolerant of Leah when she and Bella weren't fighting.
"You know what, I changed my mind. I like Pixie Sticks," Leah said contemplatively. "Watching her go to town on that tool was pretty satisfying."
Bella just hummed noncommittally as they followed after Alice, her eyes somewhat dreamy.
Everything wasn't entirely fixed, not yet really. But her heart felt whole again, and that was enough.
"I'm sure it was for you as well, considering you were getting whipped."
Bella turned to her friend with a scowl and Leah put up her hands with a small grin.
"What? You need to learn how to fight."
"I can fight."
"Clearly not very well if a girl that barely clears five feet had to save you," Leah smirked.
"I was handling myself," Bella snapped, cheeks reddening.
"From where I was standing it looked like you were getting your ass kicked."
"Leah?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
"Sure thing, Bruce Lee."
Bella just sighed.