Age 16

Royal Palace, Asgard

"Oh look, it's the prince's whore." I stiffen as I hear the words, walking faster down the hallway. I was already nervous about the ball tonight, and I didn't need the nobility to unsettle me more. But what the gossipers say next makes me stop cold. "It's not enough for him to bed her, he has to own her now too. Poor thing." I know I should just walk away. I shouldn't let them bother me, but it was Mari who spoke, and she had a way of getting under my skin.

"Excuse you?" I turn and ask. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, she doesn't know!" Mari exclaimed with fake sympathy, her sycophants tittering with equally fake laughter. "Word's gotten around, honey. Prince Loki has intentions to make you his consort tonight at the ball." She frowns. "You probably don't even know what that means, do you?"

I don't, and it doesn't sound good, but Mari is the last person I would ask. I don't know if the rumor is true, but I have to get out of this conversation so I can go talk to Loki. I say the first thing that comes into my mind.

"I think it means you're jealous." I put as much sarcasm as I can into my voice before heading back down the hallway, tuning out any response. My stomach twists into knots as my brain decides to replay the conversation. Consort? I didn't like the sound of that. Despite what Mari and the others said, Loki and I weren't intimate, I was 16 and he, unlike them, respected me. Still, it was unsettling that these rumors had gotten this out of control.

I reach his quarters and knock on the door. Asp opens it, his eyes glinting and a slight smile on his face. There was one piece of the puzzle, at least. Loki's valet was definitely one for gossip, and he didn't bat an eye at revealing things that had been said in confidence.

"Lady Ally is here to see you, m'lord." Asp announced me as I strode into the room. Loki was lounging, because he never just sat, and was reading a book.

"Can I talk to you?" I ask, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice. He picks up on it anyway, shooting me a frown as he sits up. "Alone." I nod my head just slightly at Asp.

Loki dismisses Asp as he stands and walks over to me, concern on his face. My irritation melts into chagrin. "What's wrong?"

"I ran into Mari in the hallway and," I bite my lip, before strengthening my resolve… but it fades again. "What's a consort?" I feel stupid asking.

"Oh," He becomes visibly uncomfortable. "What did Mari tell you?"

"Nothing really, but she didn't make it sound good." He gives a slow nod and takes a deep breath.

"A consort is generally the betrothed or espoused partner of a royal, before they receive a title of their own, if one is appropriate." His voice takes on that wise tone he uses to explain things to me. Though often welcome, it feels like a placation today. "Tonight, I planned on asking you to be my intended in such an arrangement." I struggle to process the words, not just because they are unfamiliar, but because they are so detached in his tone.

"Betrothed? Like engaged to be married?" I punctuate each word with incredulity. "What…?" He cuts me off.

"Please, Ally, it's not like that. I mean, it is, but that wasn't my intention. You're free now, officially, but your status in the court is tenuous. You don't have a noble title, and you rank outside the normal military structure."

"I'm well aware that I'm a societal outcast, Loki."

"If you accepted my proposal, it would put you higher than everyone in court but the royal family. You'd be protected, no one would dare…."

"Dare what?" I question, furious and confused. "You think that because you slap a ring on my finger, Mari and the rest of them are going to stop calling me a whore behind your back? That they'll just magically be my friend?" I paused, knowing that I shouldn't take it further, but I was so… angry. Did he really think this was going to change anything? "You think that if you make it official, they'll stop painting slurs and obscenities on my wall the next time we leave the city?"

I hadn't told him when it had happened, I'd been to afraid that he'd do something like, well, like what he was doing now. Penit, my handmaid, and I had cleaned my room ourselves, and I'd sworn her to secrecy. However, it doesn't really seem to faze him.

"Ally, that's the whole point of this! You think I don't know how they treat you? I want to be able to hold them accountable. They deserve consequences." He looks at me pleadingly. Every argument I want to make, that I don't need his help, that he doesn't understand, that I don't want to get married, dies before it reached my lips. I don't know what to say.

"I…" My brain has to start over, reprocess everything I've just learned. I understand him; I know he's just trying to protect me, to fulfill his promise, but some strong part of me holds out. "I'm not ready for… I can't…" I don't even know what I'm trying to say.

Loki walks over to me, gently taking both of my hands. "Ally, you know I love you. But you also know I would never ask you, let alone force you, to do anything that you're uncomfortable with. You don't have to say yes. I don't even need an answer right now, not even tonight at the ball." He pauses and lets go of one hand so he can cup my cheek. "But if you did, nothing would change unless you wanted it to. We wouldn't have to go through with a marriage; we could wait until you were ready. I just think that this is the best way to protect you."

"I…" I still don't know what to say, and now there's a lump in my throat from choking back tears I didn't realize were coming.

"Just think about it, please?" I nod, and for half a second I wait for him to leave me, until I realize that I am the one standing in his quarters.

"I will." I pull my hand away gently. "I'll see you tonight." I walk out of the room as calmly as I can, refusing to meet Asp's gaze as I walk into the hallway.

I find myself in Mina's empty room. I don't know where she is, but I needed someone to talk to, and I didn't think Frigga or Sif would be able to give me the perspective I needed, even if Mina and I didn't always see eye to eye. I decide to wait, taking a moment to compose myself.

Something on Mina's desk distracts me. It's her spellbook, open to a dog eared page. It's a memory spell, which isn't out of her specialty, but reading it sends a chill down my spine. Under the incantation it reads:

Erasing a subject's memory is virtually impossible. However, it is possible to make it irretrievable. This incantation, when performed properly, can lock away memories and make them unable to be called to remembrance. The spell must be completed in its entirety in order for the effects to be permanent, otherwise the subject will be able to eventually retrieve those memories. This spell can be used to lock a subject's entire memory, or a continuous segment working backwards from the time of casting. Length is influenced by control level of caster and available power. Will drain lifeforce if used alone, use highest level talismans available for requisite power.

I was horrified, but even more so at the notes in the margin, written in Mina's neat handwriting.

Use with reality modifier 7, extends base effects concerning subject to a city wide radius around casting, albeit at a lower ratio. Expected result: for every five years locked away in subject, one year of memories concerning subject are likewise forgotten. Requires charm to protect caster and others within radius that need to be protected. Effects may also be prevented by other interfering powers, see notes on Crest of Hagalaz. Also note that as a level 4 effect, memories lost within the radius are unlikely to be remembered, even if original subject does.

Use an additional modifier, preservation 4, to prevent subject's body from losing muscle memory and body function.

Who would do this to someone?

"Ally?" I know that it's Mina, but I can't tear my focus away from the spellbook.

"What is this?"

"A spell."

"What for? Why? Why would you do this to someone?" I feel sick to my stomach. Today is not a good day for paradigm-shifting revelations.

"What do you mean? It's for Eldmara," she huffs. "I've been trying to find ways to bring her down in case we can't kill her." Mina walks over to me, slightly defensive, but also worried.

"Oh." I take a deep breath. "That makes more sense." I want to say more, but I don't.

"Are you ok?" Mina asks.

"Not really. Loki wants me to be his consort." Mina looks at me questioningly, but I hesitate to elaborate. "He's going to ask me tonight, and he says he doesn't need an answer yet, but…"

"But you know that you should say no sooner than later." Mina says matter of factly. I stare at her, stunned.

"What?"

"Well, it's not like you're going to accept it."

"Wha..Uh… I… Why would I not accept it?"

"Because you just escaped from an abusive user who almost killed you and I would hope after that you'd be smart enough to not legally bind yourself to someone who is known for being manipulative and untrustworthy."

"Is that what you really think of him? He's not going to use me like Eldmara did, he's been nothing but kind since we met. He almost died trying to rescue me from her!" I try my best to not get worked up, but her words had cut deep. I knew she didn't like our relationship, but I had no idea that this was why.

"True as that may look, you'd be a fool to not see how similar the situation is. This is not a good idea Ally, that's all I'm saying."

"I love him." It came out quietly, but quickly, likely because I hadn't meant to say it at all. Mina softened, just a little, taking a deep breath and letting out slowly.

"I know. But that's not the question that you need to ask yourself. Now if you'll see yourself out, I have to prepare for the ball tonight." I didn't say anything as I left, I was too confused by what she had said. I went over it again in my head as I made my way to my room, realizing vaguely that I too had to get ready. But what question did I need to ask myself? What was more important that love?

The answer was in something else Mina had said, when she had compared Loki to Eldmara. She'd never doubted that I loved him.

But did I trust Loki?

Could I?

Asgard had a yearly festival at the beginning of spring to commemorate the end of winter (even though weather was pretty much the same all year round) and a clean start. It was tradition to make important announcements at the ball that kicked off the celebrations, and it was likely that Odin would officially announce Thor's impending coronation tonight. In hindsight, that was also probably why Loki would make his request tonight as well, so he didn't get hidden so much in Thor's shadow.

The other exciting part about the festival was the deviation from the standard Asgardian fashion of muted or jewel colors. The outfits today would be more akin to costumes; vibrant colors meant to represent the new growth of spring.

My gown was asymmetrical, the skirt higher on the left than the right. Royal blue and deep red bled from the hem upward in overlapping spikes. The dress was white in the rest of the skirt, as well as the bodice and left sleeve. The right sleeve was actually a gold cape that draped across my back and was held in the crook of my left elbow. Gold shoes and eyeshadow, and curled half-up hair completed the look, which only took about an hour for Penit to accomplish, something I appreciated. I spent the whole time trying to answer the question, but hadn't come up with an answer that felt right. I didn't know what I was going to do.

The ball started with a traditional dance, followed by a feast where the announcements would take place, and then less structured festivities long into the night. As I entered the Grand Hall, I found Loki and went to stand with him, as he was my dance partner, and I had procrastinated coming down at all. The dance was about to start, and we didn't have time to talk before taking our places on the dance floor.

I don't consider myself a great dancer, but I did enjoy it. There was something rewarding about doing difficult things with grace, and spinning and doing the steps in this dress made me feel like a princess. I found myself smiling despite my inner turmoil, until I realized that we were approaching the part of the dance that I only managed to pull off about one time out of every fifteen in practice. I panicked and missed a step before, falling out of the beat. I knew that I couldn't get back on time to finish the move, and I broke frame, looking at Loki in warning that we were about to wipeout in front of the whole court. He gave a little smile, shifted his grip, and lead me through the steps. We didn't wipeout, I didn't even trip or fall. If only I had trusted him, I knew that he would never have let me...oh.

Oh.

We finished the dance and my thoughts spin as we sat down at our places at the feast. I barely heard Odin's opening remarks or his announcement of Thor's coronation, to take place at the end of spring. I was stunned at my own self.

I didn't trust Loki when we were dancing, or earlier when I didn't understand what he was trying to do with asking me to be his consort. But that didn't make him untrustworthy. He was always going to catch me, but I had to let him. I had to make the choice to trust him, and I would do that because I loved him.

I am pulled back into the conversation when Loki stands, a smile on his face.

"At this time I would like to make a request of Lady Ally Pernix." I stand, facing him, not sure what my face looks like or if he has any idea what's been going through my mind. "For your consideration, would you do me the honor of an official courtship and becoming my intended consort?" Despite his earlier comment, it doesn't seem like a question I could answer later, not with Mari's and Mina's disapproving gazes burning into me from the audience.

"Prince Loki," my voice surprisingly clear and strong, "it would be my honor to accept your request." I curtsy, hoping I've remembered protocol correctly, then stand as the crowd cheers. Though Mina and Mari and her scions look displeased, everyone else seems delighted at the prospect. Thor and Frigga are beaming with joy, and Odin is even smiling as he pronounces his blessing on our courtship.

I am happy, and now I'm safe, and the future looks ripe with more of the same.