Chapter 37
I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR CHARACTERS
Trying to explain this surprising turn of events to everyone was only funny when Bella didn't actually have to do it. It was also as stupidly difficult and volatile as it sounded.
It had been a month and a few days since the night Jane came to them and she still grimaced at the memory of it.
They spent literally an hour just discussing how to go about it under bright moonlight. There was a lot of arguing and yelling, a lot of second guessing even doing it, and a very great deal of consideration on whether or not they should just kill Jane and be done with it.
Jane spent the whole time leaning against a tree and watching them blankly, unaffected by their discussion, while Omi stayed perched on Bella's hip and watched fireflies dance with curious eyes. Any time Bella even considered putting the immortal child down, the girl would cry and cling to her while everyone watched on in alarm, fearing the worst. Bella finally just consented to hold the peculiar little girl close and allow Omi to rest her head on her shoulder. Clinging to Bella seemed to be the only thing that comforted her, for some unfathomable reason.
There was a soft spot developing rapidly in Bella's heart for Omi, and for the life of her she couldn't seem to stop it. Alice seemed disconcerted by this and she hovered so closely that Bella was practically holding her lover on her other hip, which made a fond smile for Alice stay close to the corners of her mouth at all times.
Eventually they decided to let Alice and Edward do all the talking, as they were the calmest. Jane and Omi wouldn't be around of course, as odds were the nomads would slaughter them without even thinking about it.
When Bella finally managed to pry Omi off of her that night, she felt sick when she watched Jane grab her forcefully by the shoulder and begin to lead her away. Omi began to cry immediately but with Jane beside her she didn't dare do anything else.
"Don't you hurt her anymore, Jane. Don't you do it," Bella said to Jane's retreating form, unable to stop the intense protectiveness of Omi that welled up inside her.
"I'll hurt her as much as it takes, foolish girl," Jane replied apathetically without looking back.
Bella spoke before she could even realize what she was saying.
"If you hurt her, I'll kill you. I swear I'll kill you."
Jane had only let out a light scoff and just kept walking. Bella swallowed hard as she felt Alice's hand touch her shoulder soothingly. The two ex Volturi members disappeared into the gloom with Bella's declaration hanging behind them in the silence of the clearing.
"This is fucking crazy. And it's never going to work. We should have killed her when we had the chance," Emmett had said darkly, and his sentiments were exactly what everyone else shared.
They waited till next morning when things were slightly more peaceful to set about explaining all that had happened. When they did, chaos broke out. Despite Alice and Edward's best efforts, no one but Carlisle and Esme would even give them a chance to speak. The nomads were bellowing at them and each other within a matter of seconds. Many of them swore to hell and back that they would sooner leave than fight alongside a member of the Volturi, past included. Nearly all of them wouldn't even consider the idea that Jane was telling the truth, with or without Jasper and Edward's powers.
They had to explain the betrayal of the French just to get them to understand, at which point tempers rose at an alarming rate. Vampires were already volatile creatures, and solitary creatures at that. Putting them all together and under stressful conditions was a terrifying ordeal indeed.
Marshall and Emmett ended up getting in a fist fight over Carlisle's honor when the Cullen patron asked them all to be calm and listen to reason, as he agreed with his children. Breaking that one up had been nearly impossible. Rosalie and Tanya had a shoving fight that Esme barely broke up in time before the Cullen blonde got jumped by all the Denali blondes. Bella practically tried to kill the Irish when they called Alice a manipulative liar and accused her of trying to trick them all into being killed by the Volturi.
It was only after Edward -uncharacteristically yelling at the top of his voice over all the mayhem— managed to tell them of all the gifted vampires the Volturi had been recruiting, specifically Benjamin, that everyone finally stopped shouting and pointing fingers and went silent.
The idea that the Volturi had someone capable of controlling the elements, most notably fire, seemed to shock them into complacency, if only long enough for Alice to take the opportunity to explain just how deep into this they were, that the Volturi had plans to stop all of their own gifts, that they were still brutally outnumbered, that without Jane and Omi, things looked as bleak as they did in the very beginning.
At that point the nomads nearly threw up their hands in defeat and gave it all up right then. Vladimir and Stefan still refused outright to fight alongside any member of the Volturi, ex or not. Many of the others refused as well, and everyone seemed to have lost all hope once the truth of the situation set in.
When everyone seemed at a loss for words, when it seemed as if all the nomads were set to leave, to run, to hide, Bella had to speak up, terrified that this was it, that this was how it all fell apart.
"You can't just walk away from this," Bella had told them fiercely, standing in the middle of the backyard, hands clenched into fists. She stopped many of them from turning and walking away at the last second with the ferocity of her tone.
"You can run, you can hide, but you'd better be ready to run and hide for eternity, because you all know as well as we do that no matter where you go, the Volturi will pursue you relentlessly. You know they won't forgive you now, not after all you've done. If they win, whether it's because we lost the fight or because you walked away, your lives are over. At least this way we have a chance. We have a fighting chance to beat them. If we win, never again will you have to feel this way, this terrified, this oppressed. But if you walk away… If we lose, that's it. No amount of running or hiding will ever make you safe again. This is the last chance, the only way we have to not just survive, but to live."
The silence that followed was the longest Bella had ever endured in her young life. She had never been a very religious person, but in that moment she prayed with all her might, because if that didn't do it then nothing else would.
And that had to do it, or else the Cullens were dead. Everyone she knew and loved were dead. They were going to be slaughtered, burnt at the stake, murdered.
My father. My family. My Alice. Oh, my Alice…
Please don't walk away, Bella pleaded silently, her jaw locked, her eyes beginning to overflow. None of the nomads would meet her crying eyes. Please don't walk away from us. Please, God, for the Cullens, for yourselves, don't walk away.
For a brief, heart wrenching moment, Bella had thought they were lost as the Germans and the Irish began to edge away when no one spoke.
"Well… What kind of cowards would we be if we ran now?" Garrett finally said quietly to the clearing. "Revolutions live and die on courage and bravery. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees."
Emmett clapped him on the back immediately as Bella shot him a look of pure gratefulness. She was sure that Garrett was the only reason that everyone didn't leave that day, though Alice would swear up and down it had been her heartfelt plea that turned the tide.
All Bella knew was that Garrett was the first one to speak up and after he did, the others all seemed to follow suit.
"We will never turn tail and run from the Volturi, no matter how powerful they seem," Vladimir scoffed as Stefan nodded in agreement. "We can always kill Jane afterward anyway. I owe that bitch for the scar she gave me back in 1989."
"I'm not leaving Edward's side. Not this time," Tanya declared with a determined look at her skeptical sisters. Edward's arm tightened around her waist, and Bella felt a new surge of respect for her bloom.
"Well that settles that, doesn't it?" Kate rolled her eyes. "If Tanya fights, we fight. As stupid as our sister is for doing so…"
Tanya just glowered at her.
"We won't leave you either," Irena clarified in a gentler tone than her sister. "We are many things, but coward is not one of them."
It snowballed after that.
"We'll stay," the Germans promised.
"We will fight," said the Irish.
"The newborn speaks the truth. We will not run from fate," Zafrina declared.
This didn't stop the arguing, nor did it lower tension, but one thing it did do was solidify them together as a group. Their little militia had survived, barely, but they still had a lot to work out and settle before the final fight would come.
Three days later they finally had Jane and Omi come around, and they promptly had to leave when Jane said one wayward sarcastic comment and nearly got mobbed by all of the nomads.
They tried again two days later, and it worked marginally better. Omi stayed close to Bella at all times, frightened by all the distrustful looks she received from the Cullens and the nomads alike. Jasper eventually had to use his powers to keep Omi calm, and with the help of him, he and Bella managed to keep the immortal child soothed, if not comfortable. It annoyed Bella how the nomads would rather be prideful and hateful than sensible and leave the little girl be. It wasn't her fault anyway.
Bella admitted that maybe her strong feelings on the matter had to do with how vulnerable Omi seemed, as she mostly wholeheartedly agreed and participated when they treated Jane the same way.
It was a miracle Jane and Omi survived the first day, let alone the rest of them. Jane, under the heat of a dozen glares and watchful eyes, laid out all of the Volturi's plans over the next week, and they were frightening indeed.
The Volturi's primary target was Bella.
It wasn't necessarily surprising, but it was still fairly horrifying.
Bella could turn the tide of the battle within a single heartbeat. Because as many foot soldiers as the Volturi had, they would fall like dominoes if they had no gifted vampires to back them. They weren't good fighters, not like the nomads or the wolves; many were slaves, prisoners, who would turn tail and run at the slightest sign of weakness from their masters.
Bella could make their masters so very weak… If she could get to them. The Volturi had planned everything around shutting Bella out.
The idea that so many powerful vampires were going to try and kill her made Bella feel very small, very weak, very helpless. She might have been human again for how the fear began to consume her. Even now, she could hardly keep it together at the thought.
How am I going to survive a full on assault by the best the Volturi has to offer? I can't even handle a little sparring. Fuck me, this is bad. I'm going to die. I'm going to die and get everyone else killed because of it. Fuck fuck fuck… This is all my fault. It's all my fault. Everyone's going to die and it's all my fault…
"They're going to focus on Isabella," Jane informed them while Bella tried to control her rising panic attack. "If you let them get to her, the battle is over. If the girl dies, so do we all. We can kill only so many before we're overwhelmed by their gifts. If we don't use her to her full potential, whether because they stop her or because they kill her, the battle is already lost."
"That's not going to happen," Alice had vowed in a cold voice, her eyes darkening at the mere thought. Her arm wound around Bella's waist, as if she sensed her anxiety, which Bella knew she did. Alice always sensed her emotions as if they were her own. "I'll make damn sure of that."
Bella took a shaky breath and Alice turned her beautiful eyes on the brunette quickly. They swirled, hard and sincere. Bella couldn't look away as her heart hammered.
Alice… Alice was her rock, her steady hand, the only thing that really kept her together. Throughout all of the craziness, from the moment she'd first bitten the girl, Alice had been the only thing keeping Bella from losing her mind. Remembering her, thinking of her now still calmed Bella down.
But there was a faint heartache, a new feeling that had only begun surfacing this past month, at the thought of Alice.
What have I gotten you and your family into Alice? How could I ever deserve your love after what I've caused?
Alice had been unyielding that day despite Jane's doubts.
"Will you?" Jane inquired in a mocking sort of tone. She clearly regarded Alice with no respect which made Bella hate her even more viciously.
"Bet on it," Alice murmured without so much as glancing away from Bella's gaze, her tone sending shivers both pleasurable and comforting up Bella's spine.
I love you so much, Alice, Bella had thought, softening when Alice softened, the butterflies in her stomach now fluttering for an entirely different reason than the Volturi.
The fierce expression on Alice's face melted.
I love you too, Alice said without saying a word as she finally turned away, but leaned further into Bella.
"No one's going to kill Bella," Carlisle said to them all, his arms crossed,a pensive look on her face. "We will make sure of it."
"God damn right we will," Emmett snorted, and even Esme didn't bother to reprimand him for his language.
Remembering the Cullens protectiveness, the way they always seemed ready to lay down their lives for her at a moment's notice, made the heartache worse by tenfold.
Jane seemed unimpressed by their display, however, and went on without acknowledging it.
"Thankfully, their biggest advantage in this fight has already been taken away and can be used to our own advantage. Omi and Sulpicia together could most likely have been enough to block any of Bella's power from working, but now… Now Omi is going to ensure it. No doubt they know of our betrayal by this point and are working around it, so don't get too excited. I know only what they planned before we left, not what they plan now. They didn't get where they are by being weak or stupid. Caius is a militant mastermind and undoubtedly will be conjuring a way to stop us from using Omi to our advantage."
"Please, the Volturi are nothing if not weak and stupid. If it only took Vladimir and I to upset you before, they will be all too easy to defeat with Bella and the immortal child on our side," Stefan scoffed. Vladimir and Stefan were by far the biggest opponents of the Volturi. Everyone knew that they'd been waiting for a chance like this for quite some time, a chance to destroy their most hated enemies.
Bella wasn't sure why, but she couldn't deny she was grateful for their determination. They could use any morale boost they could get, honestly.
"Is that why you're all cowering in this dead end town, hiding behind a pack of mutts?" Jane had said scathingly, turning a glare upon the man.
"No different than the way they hide in their precious palace behind the shield of a human city," Vladimir spat back.
"If they're as weak and stupid as you claim then tell me, what would you have done if Omi and I were not here to tell you of your most magnificent follies?" Jane replied with just as much venom. Several of the nomads standing around hissed and cast dark looks upon her, to which Jane paid no mind.
"As if you would have left their side if you thought they would win," Vladimir sneered relentlessly.
"Revenge is a powerful motivator. But rest assured, I have not picked my side based on faith for victory," Jane's upper lip curled in disgust.
"Careful Janey. You almost sound like you regret your decision. Like maybe you're really just here to be a filthy little spy," Rosalie hissed, and with that the backyard was full of angry muttering which rose quickly in volume until Carlisle threw up his hands.
"Alright, that's enough for today! We'll try again tomorrow!"
It went like that for the entirety of that week, with every day passing with a little more strategizing and ending with high tensions and pissed off vampires.
But as volatile as vampires were, they seemed to be good at adapting. Eventually they learned to tolerate Jane and Omi, as much as they could bare. They went back to training with each other, Bella included. She was still extremely unfit for battle, and as such spent all day and nearly all night busting her ass, trying to learn as quickly as she could.
And so it went, for an entire month. Training, preparing, stressing, always on edge. It was a hellish way to live. Bella ended up breaking down in Alice's arms again when Esme left one day to go put Charlie under another glamour.
It was for the best, but Bella still missed her father like crazy. Alice assured her that she was handling everything extremely well, but Bella didn't feel like it. Every day she missed her friends, even missed school, missed a world where she wasn't constantly on edge.
She missed a world where she didn't blame herself for the mortal danger of everyone she loved. She wondered vaguely if she would trade the love she had with Alice now to get back the serenity of their friendship, when they didn't spend every night training to kill people but curled up beside one another in Bella's bed, talking softly.
But she knew, selfishly, that she wouldn't. She couldn't. She should, but Bella just couldn't bare the thought of losing Alice, of losing this love. Of losing this feeling she felt for her.
I don't deserve her. Jasper did. I should never have done the things I did. I should have tried to stop it. I should have walked away. I ruined this family. I tore Alice away from true happiness. And I'm going to get her killed. I'm going to get this beautiful girl and her whole beautiful family killed because I couldn't stop myself from loving her.
Every day seemed more hopeless, but more hopeful than the last. Bella continued to improve daily, until she began to become a capable force to be reckoned with. She gained more and more control of her instincts and her gifts. She got to the point where she could target specific people, whether it be one or a group and drop their gifts for at least five minutes, and if she went all in, she could put anyone she wished in a thirty foot radius -no matter if they were close to each other or not— down for a maximum of eight and a half minutes, though it cost her just about everything.
She could also just put down an all out blast and hit literally everyone, but the more people she hit, the more it took out of her. However, all this training seemed to be lessening the toll her gift took on her. She was getting stronger, smarter, faster, better.
The only question was whether or not it would be enough to beat the Volturi…
Bella still didn't know.
They continued to train with the wolves occasionally as well, and it was agreed that no one would tell the wolves that Jane and Omi were once Volturi members. There would be no convincing the wolves to fight alongside them as there had been with the nomads. Jane and Omi would be just another face in the crowd to them. Well… They kept Omi out of sight. When some of the wolves did see her, they simply flat out lied to them, saying that immortal children were not uncommon and were like any other vampire, though the outrage from the packs was still huge. It took a good long while to calm them down again.
Actually, they were still pissed off about it.
To keep up this facade, they had to keep Omi away often, and Jane usually had that duty. Those two couldn't hang around like everyone else, for risk of being killed if someone lost control of their hatred, so unless they were discussing plans, Emmett and Garrett were put on watch duty, keeping an eye on them to make sure no foul play was about. No one trusted Jane, Bella included, and they refused to let the girl out of their sight.
The only person who might have blown this cover was Leah.
Leah…
Leah didn't blow their cover. But she also stopped living with them. She went back to La Push at
Jake's request and refused to talk to Bella no matter how hard the brunette tried. It killed Bella. She tried calling all the time. She tried texting. She even went to La Push once, snuck off when no one was paying attention, but none of the Quileutes could help her. They just shook their heads and shrugged, at a loss.
It pissed Bella off, hurt her like hell, and frustrated her to no end. Leah wouldn't even give her a chance. Bella fully expected the girl to reveal the truth of Omi and Jane to all the wolves, as furious as she had been that fateful night, but she never did. Bella had no explanation for that, other than Leah may have viewed it as betraying her and even now she knew Leah wouldn't do that.
Leah didn't show up to any of the training sessions, either. She wasn't giving Bella a single in, and Bella didn't know what to do about it.
"Just give her time," Alice kept telling her. "She'll come around, Bells. She has to."
Bella wasn't so sure she would.
It was just one more thing she sat there worrying about on one particular starlight night.
Would Leah ever forgive her? When would the Volturi strike? A month had gone by and still Alice's visions were being blocked. What if the nomads decided they couldn't ally with Jane and Omi and killed them? What if their strategies didn't work and they all died horrible deaths? What if Bella died without ever seeing her father again, without ever telling him the truth? What if Alice died? What if any of the Cullens died?
What if I die? Bella thought with a shaky breath as she leaned against a tree on the outskirts of the backyard, gazing up at the stars.
I think I'd deserve it. This is all my fault. How can we ask any of these people to die for us? For my mistakes? No one deserves this but me. How can we ever beat these monsters? How could I have been so stupid? If I'd never bitten Alice that night… None of this would be happening. I'm so stupid, so fucking stupid!
Bella slammed a fist into the poor tree she leaned against, heard it crack pitifully. She promptly shook her head, trying to hold back tears. She splayed her hand against the crack in its trunk as if to apologize.
Great. Now I'm beating on some poor innocent tree, too. Why am I such a bastard?
She hadn't shared any of this with anyone, none of the Cullens, especially not Alice. She knew what they would say.
They were too good of people to ever agree with her, to ever say the truth, to ever acknowledge who was really to blame for getting them into this mess.
You're wrong, Bella. This isn't your fault. You can't blame yourself. We love you, Bella, it's not your fault…
"But it is. It is my fucking fault," Bella breathed to herself.
"Talking to yourself, Mami? Don't tell me you started losing it in the short time I've been gone," a painfully familiar voice said, startling the hell out of Bella.
She jolted upright and looked to the side to see Leah approaching her out of the darkness. She looked exactly as she had before she'd shoved Bella out of her life, save for an rough looking cut on her lower lip. Her almond eyes appraised Bella silently as she came to a stop a foot from her, her expression as guarded as her posture despite her friendly sounding greeting.
"Leah," Bella breathed and then jumped to her feet. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Busy," Leah dead panned, her brow hitching at the sight of Bella's immediate agitation.
"Busy," Bella repeated immediately, her throat tightening with a mix of emotions.
She was thrilled to see her friend but also so damn mad that she'd disappeared for so long when she needed her most over a stupid argument.
"Busy," Leah echoed as if in challenge and crossed her arms slowly, defensively.
"Too busy to talk, huh?" Bella scoffed and shook her head. "Too busy to let me know you were okay. Too busy to not ignore me."
"Too busy being pissed off," Leah snapped, working a muscle in her jaw at Bella's tone.
Yeah, no shit you big jerk, Bella thought angrily.
"Clearly, because you couldn't even have the decency to actually talk to me about it, your best friend might I add, instead of dropping me like I wasn't anything," Bella said as she balled up her fists.
This seemed to be a recurring track pattern with Bella and the females she cared about in her life. God, what a little communication would do for her relationships, romantic or platonic.
"I don't talk when I'm pissed off Bella! I yell and fight and make things worse. And I'm still mad at you, but I'm here anyway because you are my best friend. Not to mention I had some stuff to deal with back at La Push. Things aren't all roses and daisies with me and the others just because Jake's the pack leader now," Leah told her.
"Mad at me? Why the hell are you still mad at me? You can't be mad at me for doing what I had to do, damn it. And what happened to your mouth?" Bella demanded, concern mixing in with her anger at the revelation that Leah was still having problems with her tribe.
"You didn't have to do anything," Leah growled, her muscles bunching at just the thought of Bella's decision, which didn't seem to bode well for the direction their conversation was headed. "And I got in a fight with Sam fuckhead Uley."
"Yes, I did! You don't under-Wait, what?" Bella paused as she realized what Leah said.
"We got into it again," Leah sighed and grimaced as if embarrassed when Bella gawked furiously.
"I'm gonna kill that asshole! I can't believe he attacked you again. What happened?" Bella asked angrily, suddenly much angrier at Sam Uley than she was at her friend.
He put his hands on someone I care about again. I swear to God I'm gonna kill him. I am going to rip him limb from limb. Forget the Volturi, I'm about to go get that bastard.
"He didn't attack me," Leah muttered with an eye roll as Bella's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I attacked him."
Oh… Well, that was different, if not necessarily surprising.
"Why?" Bella inquired, furrowing her brow.
Dumb question. Who wouldn't want to punch Sam Uley in the face?
Here Leah gave her a smirk with flashing eyes.
"Because he was talking shit, as usual."
"About?"
"About you and me and the Cullens and Emily. And I might have still been a little salty that he tried to fucking off me. So I got mad, and I do what I always do when I get mad. I fought him. It wasn't that bad this time because everyone was there to break it up, but I think I blinded him in one eye," Leah said, sounding extremely pleased at the thought.
"Blinded him?" Bella gawked, not exactly displeased either.
Serves him right!
"It's not permanent," Leah said, sounding somewhat disappointed, though she continued to smirk. "But it was still very satisfying."
Bella hummed noncommittally, her eyes glancing at the cut across Leah's lip. She noticed a bruise on her jaw that she hadn't seen before in the dark of the night, and had to contain the instinctive hate bristling in her stomach for Sam fuckhead Uley.
She had enough to deal without that bastard getting on her nerves again.
"Anyway, that's not what I came here to talk about," Leah went on. "I'm here to tell you why I'm so pissed off at you, and why I ignored you for so long."
"Yeah, that'd be great to know," Bella said sarcastically to which Leah locked her jaw.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Bella murmured, and just like that they were to being mad at each other and not Sam.
"Well then let's just get right to the point," Leah huffed and uncrossed her arms.
"Please do," Bella gave a flippant wave of her hand. She knew she was being unnecessarily snarky, but Leah wasn't the only one pissed off here.
She saw the way Leah's eyes flashed in annoyance, but decided she didn't really care right then.
"You should have killed Jane," Leah blurted after a tense moment of silence.
"I wish I could have," Bella replied instantly.
"You could have," Leah growled and shifted a minute inch of space closer. They were already standing close, but it made the hairs on the back of Bella's neck rise.
They were best friends, but they were also a werewolf and something else equally, if not more, dangerous.
Careful, her subconscious warned her.
"Yeah, and then where would that have left us? Dead, too," Bella snapped.
"Bullshit! We didn't need her. We were just fine to fight the Volturi before. We should have milked her for any information we could get and then done away with her. How can you justify letting that little girl suffer like that?" Leah demanded furiously, her voice rising already.
Apparently she hadn't cooled off that much.
"Didn't need her? Have you ever seen what fire does to a vampire?" Bella scoffed. "It rips through them like a hot knife through butter. We don't know how to fight that, and god forbid some of those other freaks get their gifts on your pack. Kate had a point, you know. What are you gonna do when Solomon is breaking your bones without even having to get his arms completely around you? We need her to beat the Volturi, to figure out what they're planning and counter it because we're screwed if we don't."
"So figure out their strategy and then kill the bitch!" Leah snarled, which made Bella's pupils start to dilate. Leah seemed to realize she was getting too angry and ran a hand through her thick black locks.
"You think that's not exactly what I want, Leah? You think I don't want her gone just as badly as you?" Bella threw up her hands, exasperated. "I hate her just as much as you do! I hate the way she makes Omi flinch and I hate her beady red eyes, and I hate the fact that we have to work with her, but we do. Nobody knows the ins and outs of the Volturi the way she does or what they're thinking, and I hate to say it but she's got a really useful gift when it comes to fighting. And right now we need all the gifts we can get."
"She. Is. Evil!" Leah burst out. "Pure fucking evil and you want to let her-"
"I don't want to let her do anything!" Bella yelled over Leah, her patience wearing thin. "This is how it is, Leah. Because I fucked up and got everyone in this situation, we have to do things we don't want to do. We have to work with her and I can't change Omi back yet or we're all dead, dead, dead. And I'm not gonna let that happen, not to you or the Cullens or my Alice, no way. If
that means having to fight with Jane and let Omi suffer a little longer just to keep us all alive, including Omi herself, then I'm going to do it. This isn't about right and wrong anymore, Leah, it's about survival."
Leah snarled roughly and then looked abruptly away with yellow eyes as Bella breathed hard, her chest heaving. They were both fighting for control, but when Bella saw Leah shaking her head, as if she still couldn't be okay with this, couldn't forgive Bella for this choice, she felt tears spring unbidden to her eyes.
"And if you hate me for this… Fine. Fine. You don't have to be my friend for me to want to keep you and everyone else safe. If hating me is what you have to do then I get it. Hate me and blame me because you're right, you probably should. If you never want to speak to me again, fine… But I'm going to do what I have to do to keep the people I love safe, including you. And you do what you have to do," Bella said thickly, hating that she was practically crying in front of Leah.
She couldn't help it. Leah was the sister she never had. She didn't want to lose her on top of everything else that was happening.
However, Leah turned back to her with shock in her glowing yellow eyes, which faded quickly back to soft brown.
"Hate you? I don't hate you, Izzy. I could never. And this isn't your fault. None of this is, I told you that before and I meant it," Leah murmured. She ran a hand through her wild black hair. Then she really looked at Bella and grimaced. "Aw fuck, don't-Stop crying. I'm sorry, I'm an asshole. C'mere Izzy…"
Leah pulled her into a tight hug that shocked Bella so much she didn't even embrace her back for a moment. They had never been exceptionally affectionate friends, so it meant all the much more when it happened.
When she realized what was happening, she wrapped her arms around Leah and squeezed her back, huffing to stop the tears trying to burn their way out of her eyes.
"I'm not crying," she mumbled into Leah's bronze shoulder.
"You so are," Leah chuckled back.
"Cause you're a big fucking jerk," Bella huffed, embarrassed.
Leah pulled back but kept her hands on Bella's shoulders.
"I am, and I'm sorry," Leah told her sincerely, all trace of anger gone from her pretty Quileute features, leaving nothing but frustration. "I'm such a jerk when I'm angry. I'm just so-I hate this, Bella. I hate not being able to fight all these leeches with red eyes. They're not like you or the Cullens. They kill people and I can't stand it. And then one of the Volturi shows up and you let her in and I just-I'm just so goddamn mad about it, even if you're right…"
"I know," Bella replied softly. "I know. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to make this better. I'm just trying to keep everyone alive…"
"I know," Leah sighed. "And I just want to kill practically everyone," she laughed lightly to which Bella grinned a little. "I don't mean to take it out on you. I shouldn't have. You're my best friend and I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been born and bred to hate these people and having to fight with them goes against everything I believe."
Leah let go of her shoulders with a sigh that was part frustrated growl while Bella wiped quickly at her eyes.
Stop crying, you weenie, she told herself firmly. Leah will never let you live it down if you don't.
"I know I'm gonna have to get over it, even if I don't want to, though," Leah muttered irritably before rolling her eyes and turning back to Bella. "I'm sorry I'm a big fucking jerk."
They both chuckled a little as Leah repeated Bella's words back at her.
"You're not. You're just kind of a jerk," Bella joked, and then, "And I'm sorry I got us into this mess. I'm sorry I upset you. You know all I want is to get that little bitch back for when she jumped me."
Leah smirked as Bella rolled her eyes, irritated at the thought. Jane really was an infuriating little cunt.
They were quiet for a moment as Leah appraised her again, this time with softness in her gaze that made Bella feel uncomfortable because she knew what her friend was thinking.
"This isn't your fault, Izzy," Leah said after a long moment.
There it is, Bella thought, biting her lower lip.
She didn't say anything in response, just looked anywhere but at Leah's sympathetic face.
"Blaming yourself isn't going to fix anything," Leah continued at her silence.
Bella shrugged and remained quiet, not trusting herself to speak. There was no point. Her friends and family would never admit the truth to themselves because they loved her so much, so why bother? Bella could hate herself enough for them.
"Your girlfriend agrees with me, by the way."
Bella looked back at her finally at the mention of Alice.
"And how would you know that?" she cocked an eyebrow at her. "You haven't spoken to me in days, let alone Alice or any other vampire, for that matter."
"Because she's been glaring at me for the past ten minutes like some weird ass bird up in that poor tree you seem to have pummeled."
Bella blinked rapidly and whipped her eyes upward. Through the branches and leaves she saw a shadowy figure sitting cross legged in the crotch of the tree, gazing down at them.
Her breath hitched softly, almost guiltily.
"When-"
"About the time I started raising my voice," Leah answered before she'd even gotten the question out. "Which I get, I guess. It makes sense knowing my track record. My only question is how I smelled her out before you did. You guys are like, attached by your DNA or some other romantic cliché bullshit."
"I smell her everywhere," Bella murmured, hardly even hearing Leah as she peered up at Alice, living up to that romantic cliché bullshit in the sense that she, as usual, couldn't pull her eyes off of Alice's. "She's always all around me. I guess I just didn't think about it…"
Now that she was paying attention to it, the aroma of white chocolate and berries was clearly too strong to be Alice's residual scent clinging to her skin. But it was true; she thought of Alice so often it was like the girl was never really gone.
"That's gross," Leah said factually as the two lovers continued gazing at each other, communicating with their eyes in a way no one else could ever hope to understand.
After a long fifteen seconds of this, Leah cleared her throat.
"I guess that's my cue to leave before I puke at this display," she drawled, and Bella finally tore her eyes away from Alice.
"Are we okay?" Bella inquired quickly as Leah began to edge backwards slowly. The sound of Alice dropping from the tree to land lightly on her feet beside Bella did not go unnoticed, but she managed not to turn towards the girl.
Barely.
"Yeah, Izzy. We're okay. I'm just gonna be a little more irritable until this shit is done with, and you won't see me around as much. If at all, until the fight…"
This made Bella painfully sad but Leah gave her a small, apologetic smile.
"Sorry, Mami. If I'm going to deal with these vampires, it's best if I don't hang around them. You're welcome at La Push if you want though. I think the boys want to apologize to their Mother of the Sun, if you're down for a little groveling for forgiveness," Leah told her. "Sam hasn't been hanging around because Jake won't take any of his shit anymore, either, so you should be good."
"I might," Bella said softly.
There was an awkward, pregnant pause in which Leah's eyes flickered from hers to Alice's.
"Okay, well then I think I'm gonna bounce for now. I think Pixie Sticks wants to talk with you, and I so don't want to be around for any sickeningly cute conversation you two are about to have. Or steamy making out. God forbid I ever catch you two humping like the rabbits you are. I think I might actually hurl."
Bella's cheeks burned as Alice made a noise that might have been a scoff or a laugh, still on the peripheral of Bella's vision. She could feel the tension and emotion radiating off of her lover. She knew Alice wanted to talk to her, and she knew about what, to. The thought was making her increasingly anxious.
"Leah," Bella scowled as her friend grinned.
"You two are grossly affectionate. It's like watching lesbian porno foreplay sometimes."
"Leah!" Bella hissed, scandalized, even as Alice snorted beside her, apparently amused.
"What? I'm just saying. Wrap it before you tap it, Mami."
"Leah."
Leah smirked as Bella glared at her, cheeks burning red.
Why did I miss her again? She thought, but then Leah's smirk softened into a smile, and she held out a fist to Bella.
Bella immediately bumped her knuckles into Leah's, the corners of her lips quirked up.
"See you around, Izzy. Try not to get too frisky with her, Pixie Sticks," Leah said as she began walking backwards into the night, tossing her chin at Alice. "I don't think everyone's forgotten the last time you two did the do. We heard you guys from a mile away. Literally."
Bella shut her eyes in total humiliation, but not before she saw Leah wiggling her eyebrows playfully. She opened them again as Alice replied in her beautiful voice, "No promises, Lassie. Try not to piss on the Lamborghini tires on your way out. I know she's beautiful, but it's my car, not yours."
It was a testament to how far they'd come that they could joke with each other now, when Leah just laughed, turned around and kept on walking.
Bella watched her go fondly into the night, glad that at least one of her problems seemed to have worked itself out.
And yet… She could feel the next one bubbling up next to her in the form of Alice.
"So…" Bella drawled as she finally turned to face her. She was immediately caught up in how lovely Alice looked draped in moonlight, her pale white porcelain skin practically shimmering with it. Reflecting off soft amber eyes.
"You're not making a habit of eavesdropping on me every time I talk to another woman, are you?" she kidded, to which Alice hummed, her expression somewhat unreadable.
That was never a good sign.
"No, darling, don't worry. I've got a handle on my jealousy now, I'd say," Alice played along, however. "I was coming out here to talk to you, actually, but she beat me to it. I didn't mean to
eavesdrop, but I just can't seem to walk away when volatile supposedly mythical creatures are yelling in your face. Forgive me?"
Bella chuckled lightly, her heart skipping a beat when Alice's hand slipped into hers and a dexterous thumb drew circles lightly on her hand.
It was baffling and sincerely amazing that just this little touch still gave her butterflies.
"I understand, Alice. I'd have done the same thing. You really aren't jealous though? She even hugged me. You'd have flown down here and drop kicked her just a month or two ago," Bella grinned playfully, squeezing Alice's hand.
"I can smell her on you now," Alice murmured, lifting their joined hands as they peered into each other's eyes.
"Does it bother you?"
Alice cocked her head cutely, as if considering it while she simultaneously kissed Bella's knuckles affectionately.
Butterflies. She gives me butterflies.
"No… Not really, surprisingly. She doesn't reek the way she used to, like the rest of the wolves. She doesn't smell like a threat on you, either. She just smells… Familiar. Like any of my family would. She's growing on me, I suppose. I may not go so far as to say I like her, but anyone who smells like safety on you is okay with me. Leah would die for you, you know. And I told you she'd come around…"
Bella's stomach flip flopped with the sudden urge to kiss Alice, and never stop kissing her. She felt like it had been a hundred years since their lips had touched, and she was struck with a profound agony in her heart.
How could I have gotten her into this mess? This beautiful, lovely girl? My Alice… Who should never have been mine. Who deserves so much more, so much better.
She felt suddenly too guilty to hold Alice's hand, to want to kiss her. She let go of her slowly and turned her face away when she saw how Alice immediately noticed.
"Leah was right, by the way. I do agree with her," Alice said slowly, and gentle fingers cupped Bella's chin, to turn her face back, but then she just closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to look into Alice's anymore.
"Never thought I'd hear you say that," Bella chuckled, but it was a hollow sound. Alice's fingers slipped from her face and when she opened her eyes she immediately regretted it at the compassion all over her lover's face.
But for once, it didn't make her feel better. It just made her feel worse, so much worse.
"Bella," Alice began.
"I think I just want to be alone right now," Bella blurted, her throat getting tighter without warning. She could feel the anxiety building up inside her.
I don't want to hear it. I can't. I know what she's going to say, and she's wrong, and I don't deserve for her to try and make me feel better.
"No you don't," Alice stated when Bella took a small step back, away from her intoxicating presence. "You just don't want to talk to me about this."
"No, I don't," Bella agreed with some aggression in her voice that she couldn't stop even though she tried. "Which is why I'd rather just be alone right now."
"No."
Bella gawked at Alice's downright refusal. She shouldn't have been surprised. This was Alice after all.
"I know what you're thinking, Bella," Alice told her softly and reached for her again.
Bella stepped away from Alice's touch and watched the instant hurt bloom in her face. It hurt Bella just as much.
"I know what you're thinking, Alice, and you're wrong. And I don't want to talk about this," Bella snapped, her stomach fluttering anxiously. She could feel the sorrow in her heart increasing with every second Alice tried to reach her.
"You don't want to talk about it because you know you're being ridiculous," Alice said firmly, to which Bella scowled.
"No, I'm not," she snapped yet again, defensively.
Again Alice softened at her tone and Bella could hardly stand it.
"Bella, baby, please…"
Don't say it, she thought desperately, brokenly.
"This isn't your fault."
Bella locked her jaw, hard. All the hurt and pain came rushing up inside her like a sickness, hot and thick. All the fear and doubt and self loathing, she had to fight it back before it came bursting out of her, before she said something she couldn't take back, that she'd regret.
Alice saw all of this of course and reached for her again, grabbed her wrist before Bella could move away.
"It's not Bells-"
"Yes it is!" Bella yelled and ripped her wrist free so hard that she staggered back into the tree she'd punched before.
Fuck fuck fuck. I need to stop. I can't do this. I can't do this to her. I can't let her do this to me. After all I've caused…
"Bella…"
"No!" Bella shouted immediately at Alice's tone of concern. "Stop it. Just stop, Alice, you're wrong. This is my fault. I'm not-That's just how it is. You know it's true. If I had never bitten you, none of this would be happening. It is my fault."
Alice tried to interrupt her but Bella didn't give her the chance.
"It's my fault the Volturi are coming. It's my fault that you're all in so much danger. It's my fault that Jasper is going to leave, if he even survives, if any of us do. It's my fault that your family got torn apart, fuck, it's all my fault you and Jasper can't even look at each other…"
Bella's chest was heaving up and down, and god damn it, but she was crying again. There was no stopping it this time. Her stomach clenched at the way Alice reared back, as if stunned by her word vomit, her admission, the outburst of emotion.
"No it's not, Bella. That's just… It's stupid! You'd have never bitten me if I hadn't been more careful. And the Volturi are evil because of their own choice. They were going to come for us sooner or later, and as for Jasper… Baby, it's not your fault that I fell in love with you."
Her words made it all worse. Bella shook her head constantly, shrank back when Alice took a hesitant step towards her.
"You're so-You're so delusional, so fucking blinded," she gasped and saw the offense in Alice immediately but she couldn't, wouldn't stop.
Alice needed to know, needed to understand.
"It's my fault and you know it and you just don't want to see it, don't want to say it because you love me, and you shouldn't, you should never have-Never have fallen for me. Look at everything it's caused. Look at everything I caused just by being around you. If you hadn't-You'd still be with Jasper, your family would be safe, would be happy. You should have never even met me, I should have butt the fuck out just like Rosalie told me to."
It was all coming out like an unstoppable stream that Bella had no hope of controlling. Her heart was hammering. Her instincts were on edge with emotion.
"Are you-You're being serious right now, aren't you?" Alice gawked at her, as if she couldn't even believe the words coming out of Bella's mouth. "Where is all of this even coming from? How long have you been holding all this in?"
It made something angry burst in Bella's brain, something frustrated, hurt and scared and so, so guilty.
What she said next seemed to physically strike Alice across the face.
"You should have stayed with Jasper."
Alice seemed to lose it herself, a little.
"No, I damn well shouldn't have!" she snapped as Bella clung to the trunk of the tree, dug the bark up with her nails. "You-You're the one delusional. How did you get all this in your head, Bella? You think I should have just stayed with Jasper, la di da, pretending like I wasn't madly in love with you? You think that would have made me happy, made him happy?"
"It would have made you safe!" Bella bellowed, lurching up off the tree, shaking. Alice's posture tightened but Bella just bared her teeth.
I need to stop.
I can't.
"So yeah. I think you never should have met me. I wish you hadn't. I wish you didn't love me. I wish I didn't love you so I could tell you what I should and I could do what I really should to fix this mess I've made."
Lie, lie, lie. Liar liar.
Alice stared at her with fury and disbelief, wounded.
"And what is that, Bella? What should we do since this is apparently all your fault?" Alice sneered with uncharacteristic sarcasm that burned Bella horribly.
It made the next thing out of her mouth so impulsive she couldn't stop it. She was reaching the point of hysteria, total irrationality.
"Leave me. Leave me, and go back to Jasper. Go back to him the way it's supposed to be so I don't keep-Keep-"
She couldn't even get the words out because Alice cut her off.
"Are you fucking kidding me? That's what you want? You want me to dump you and go back to Jasper, like that's even an option anyway?"
The swear out of Alice's mouth sounded so wrong.
Stop. Stop, stop, stop. You need to stop.
But Bella just couldn't keep it all in anymore. She was speaking without thinking, trying to shove Alice away from her.
Get away from me, stop loving me, it's going to get you killed.
"Yes. Go back to him because I'm not-I'm not good for you Alice, for your family. I'm not good enough, I'm the reason it's all gone to shit and-"
Again, Alice cut her off.
"I don't want Jasper! I want you, Bella! Even if you, in whatever fantasy world you seem to be in right now, did leave me, for some stupid ass reason like it would be good for me, I wouldn't go back to him. I'd die inside because I don't have you anymore. That's not an option and even if it was I wouldn't take it because I love you and you're being ridiculous. This isn't your fault and you need to stop blaming yourself for whatever danger we're in…"
It's my fault my fault all my fault.
She won't admit it, she can't see it, she loves me too much and oh fuck I can't stand it, how could you love me Alice? Love me after what I've caused? I have to get her away. I have to make her stop loving me so she can understand…
She shook her head some more, took a deep, heavy breath, dizzy with the instinct swirling in her brain.
"You're not going to die for me," Bella hissed. "I won't let you die for my mistakes. Not any of you."
Alice stared at her with endless exasperation and anger and that never wavering compassion.
"Bella…" she breathed and with great effort softened herself again, trying to reach Bella at the obvious torment on the brunette's face.
"I won't let you," Bella whispered, still trembling as she fell back against the familiar tree. "I can't. I love you so much. I won't let you."
"You don't have a choice. We'll die for you because we love you, if we have to. I chose to love you. I chose to be with you. I choose you over Jasper. I choose, we all choose, to fight the Volturi. I chose to enter your life, and you biting me didn't cause that. I entered your life because I loved you, always, in any kind of way you can imagine that led us to the love I feel for you now. The Volturi would have come for us one day Bella, with or without you in our lives, and we'd have fought them just like we will now. And one day I'd have realized I wasn't madly in love with Jasper, whether because I had an epiphany or met someone else. That's all on me, on us. Not you. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault."
Alice's declaration infuriated her, because it terrified Bella.
She exploded.
"Yes it IS!"
Bella whipped around and smashed her forearm into the trunk of the poor tree, through it, with a horrible crack. The tree wavered and collapsed to the side though neither girl flinched away from it as it crashed down, shaking the earth with a bone jarring thud.
She was in the middle of a full blown panic attack, and had no idea what she was saying anymore, what she was going to do. She took a step back. Her heart was trying to burst free of her chest.
Tears were streaming down her face endlessly, and her hands were shaking, her legs quivering. The rubber band stretched back.
Alice didn't move, but her eyes had gone pitch black and her shoulders were drawn back, the vampire in her stirring.
"No… You're not going to do this. You are not going to die for me… No. You-I'm going to leave you. I'm going to leave and I'm going to make damn sure no one dies for me. I'll-I'll stop the Volturi. I'll give myself to them and make it so they understand it was all me, and then-"
Hysteria had officially been reached.
"And then what?" Alice shouted over her furiously, her phenomenal control finally slipping away. She took a step towards Bella, who took a quavering step back. "Then you die for nothing and the only chance we had to win really is gone, and then we really do all die because of you Bella! Do you know how stupid that sounds? Give yourself to the Volturi? Have you lost your mind? Like I would ever let you even-God, Bella, what is the matter with you?"
Bella's throat closed over and she gave a rough sob, before it turned into a growl.
"I have to try. I can't let you do this, let any of you do this…" Bella whispered.
She felt her leg muscles tighten.
I can't. I can't I can't. I have to run. I have to get out of here. I have to stop this before they all get hurt.
I have to try. If I don't…
Alice's eyes flickered at the movement and she went very still. Her face smoothed over.
"Bella."
Bella's stomach clenched.
I can't.
"You're not going anywhere," Alice murmured slowly, with such conviction that Bella's whole being tensed at it.
For the longest moment of Bella's life, they stared at each other with tension crackling like electricity between them, with pain filled eyes and determination for two different things.
Oh, Alice…
Bella turned and bolted.
She had barely even vaulted the fallen tree before Alice slammed into her back and they hit the dirt, snarling like wild cats. The rubber band smacked the back of her skull as Bella whirled over, swinging at Alice, kicking at her, trying to get her away.
"Bella! God damn it Bella, stop it! Stop!" Alice yelled as Bella snarled, their arms flailing at each other.
Even in this haze, Bella wasn't trying to hurt her, not really. She didn't hit her, just pushed and clawed and scrambled back, trying to writhe, to run away.
No one ever really overpowered her quite like Alice. She managed to slip out from under her, and the wild panic that jumped into Alice's eyes at the slightest realization that Bella might actually get away from her -get to the Volturi— seemed to seal her fate, because a split second later, Alice was straddling her in a move so fast Bella didn't even see it.
She felt her wrists slam into the earth as Alice pinned down her hips with her own strong thighs with a gut wrenching snarl the pixie had never aimed in Bella's direction before.
"I said STOP!"
The volume of Alice's voice seemed to blast through Bella's vampiric terror, bringing her back to a modicum of conscious thought.
"Get off of me," she whispered, her voice high pitched and cracking, her fangs fully extended. "Alice, get off of me. Let go of me-!"
"No!" Alice bellowed and tightened her grip on Bella's wrists when she began to struggle. "That's enough, Bella. Stop it!"
Bella bucked once, looked up, and caught Alice's eyes.
Fuck fuck fuck, I can't do this, I can't I can't I can't-
"Just stop. You aren't going anywhere! You sure as fuck are not going to go running straight to the Volturi to get yourself killed in some stupid suicidal act because you've somehow got it in your head that everything is your fault! It's not."
When Bella shook her head, Alice snarled at her again and she whimpered pitiably, small and broken, her chest shaking with every rattling sobbing breath. She was absolutely breaking down.
"You are going to listen to me damn it!" Alice barked, heedless of Bella's tears, lowered her face so close to Bella's that their noses brushed. "This is not your fault. You-You think you're the only one blaming yourself? You think I don't lay awake at night and hate myself for ever letting you be in so much danger? You think Esme and Carlisle don't wonder every day if it's their fault for not keeping a better eye on all of us, for not sensing when things were going wrong? You think Edward doesn't blame himself for bringing you into our world in the first place? Think Rose and Emmett don't think they should have done more to keep all of us safe?"
Bella couldn't even breathe as Alice glared down on her in passion, her beautiful midnight black irises blazing.
"You think you're the only one who wants to smash trees and break shit? Think you're the only one who's terrified of what's to come? Well you're not. You're not the only one scared or angry or to blame, and you. Are. Not. Going to go running off to get yourself killed. If you want to leave me, fine, but I'm not ever leaving you. I'll never go back to Jasper, I'll never stop loving you, and I will never let you go."
Bella could hardly even see through blurry eyes as Alice's fury broke over her, as her heart broke and Alice's voice broke, too.
"Not in my heart and not to the god damn Volturi," Alice finished forcefully, her bottom lip quivering until she dug one long fang into it, her irises shining like an oil slick.
Oh, Alice, my Alice, my beautiful, lovely, Alice.
Bella broke down. She sobbed, those horrible body wracking sobs that shake one's whole frame, soul wracking sobs as Alice immediately let go of her wrists and pulled her upwards into her loving arms, wrapped her in her scent and love and comfort.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, Alice, I love you, I love you s-so much," Bella stammered through desperate breaths of air, shaking violently as she clung to Alice with everything she had, her fingers clutching desperately at Alice's shirt.
"I don't k-know what to d-do, I can't do this, Alice, I c-can't, how can I save any of you, I can barely even control my powers, I can't do this, I can't, I don't want to die, I don't want any of you to die," Bella sobbed as Alice made a soft sound of pain on her behalf and began to rock her back and forth, stroking her hair frantically, murmuring soothingly to her ear.
"Oh Bella," Alice breathed as Bella shut her eyes and fell apart, a never ending mantra of I can't I can't I can't running under her stifled breaths between sobs. "Oh my Bella, my sweet Bella, I'm so sorry, it's okay, it's going to be okay baby, I promise it'll all be okay…"
The rise and fall of Alice's chest against hers was all Bella could focus on as she tried not to black out, to get herself under control.
"You are so young, too young… We forget how young you are because your soul is so old. God I'm so sorry, you're too young for any of this. We should have protected you better, kept you safer… Instead we put the whole world on your shoulders… None of this is your fault, it was all our fault, baby."
Bella shook her head even now, soaking the shoulder of Alice's shirt, but Alice only hushed her softly.
"It's going to be okay, Bella, I promise. You're going to be okay. Shh, baby, shh…"
She trailed away, just murmured continuously to Bella, soothingly, rocking her in a gentle sway.
It took a long while, but Bella eventually began to calm down. The sobs faded away, left her throat and eyes aching, her chest weak, left her exhausted and leaning into Alice's arms as deeply as she could go. She rubbed her nose into Alice's skin, breathing her into to calm down.
Only Alice could bring her so far back from the edge. Get her away from the brink, make her believe it would all be okay. Only Alice could have stopped the anxiety and panic inside of her, calmed the storm.
Only Alice.
They sat there for what felt like forever under sweet moonlight, clinging to one another. Alice's cool skin felt good on her heated cheeks when the vampire finally leaned back and cupped them, pressed their foreheads together.
"I'm sorry," Bella whispered hoarsely.
"Don't be. I'm the one sorry here," Alice murmured.
Now that she had time to reflect, Bella was embarrassed by her outburst, by everything she'd said in her panic attack.
"I don't know why I lost it like that… I didn't mean to. I didn't mean-Mean what I said before. About leaving you. About Jasper. I love you, Alice, with all that I have. I just couldn't-Couldn't stand to-"
"Shh…" Alice breathed. "It's okay, Bella, it would have been honestly unreal if you didn't freak out. I can't believe it hadn't already happened before. You are too young for this, too innocent, too beautiful inside for this world…"
Bella didn't necessarily agree with that, but she didn't have the strength to argue anymore. She felt like she'd poured all of herself out in this fight, didn't have the energy to be scared or upset anymore. All she really knew anymore was that she loved Alice, dearly, with everything she was.
"But it's going to be okay, Bella. I promise you I'm going to make it all okay. I won't let anything happen to you," Alice told her gently.
And because, as always, it was Alice, she believed her.
"I won't let anything happen to you either," Bella whispered.
Alice gave her a soft, sad smile, and nudged their noses together. Their lips brushed in a sweet kiss, pressed more firmly together. Bella wrapped her up and pulled her close, sighing into the kiss, soothed by it's warmth through Alice's cool touch.
When they broke apart they rested their foreheads together once more.
"Is it really going to be okay, Alice?" Bella inquired quietly. Alice hummed, then nodded as best as she could in their current position.
"I think so. You know, for a weenie, you're pretty tough, Tiger," Alice whispered in the quiet night to her and Bella didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry again.
"My family is made up of the strongest people I've ever met. The packs were born for this. The nomads are tired of running. With Jane's information and Omi's gifts mixed with yours… I think we're all going to be okay, Bells. I really do…"
Bella grabbed onto that and held onto it, because it was the only thing giving her hope right then.
She went in for another kiss, but before she could press her mouth to Alice's, the vampire in her lap stiffened.
"Alice?"
Bella pulled back and gazed into unseeing eyes, then realized before panic could set in what was happening.
Alice was having a vision.
Pink, heart shaped lips parted as Alice saw into the future, and then she was wrenched back to the present so abruptly that it actually started Bella. Her expression was grim, which was terrifying enough in itself. She told Bella what she'd seen instantly.
"The Volturi are on their way. They're going to be here in three days, on the day of the seventh Spring storm… And they're coming with an army."