Age 19

The Fridge

I make a mental note to thank Ezra for the sticky notes. I don't waste one of the sticky notes on that though, I need them for something else. Ezra calls it my murder board, and then we laugh because I'm the only occupant in the Ice Box that's not really inclined to murder anyone. But there's really no good way to describe the wall where I'm trying to piece my memory together.

And to be fair, it does look like a crisised detective's attempt to find a murderer, with the strings connecting bits of paper that I stuck to the wall first with tape and now sticky notes. Not to mention that about a fourth of the writing isn't even English, it's in runes, mostly in place of names. I'm discovering lots about my past, but it doesn't mean I want others to know everything too.

I place the memory of helping Sif and Coulson's team catch Lorelei in its place on the wall. It's the most recent one, I've remembered everything since then: The Spire, trying to control my powers, and the nightmare that sent me to the Fridge. It's a small victory.

The clock reads 2:53 am. I do most of my reassembly at night, because the memories like to come as dreams, but more often than not become nightmares. At least this one wasn't too bad, nobody poured fire on me or tried to fight me in front of a chanting crowd. I got shot though, with a ICER, then fought Agent Ward, and lost. I woke up then, but fell back into a flashback, experiencing the whole memory with no gaps, from the first time I woke up in the interrogation room to getting sent to the Spire.

I look over my timeline, it's mostly linear, and the strings are color-coded for the different people in multiple memories. There's a couple that I can't quite put in order, like the one with the dancing or the maze of mist. But I'm remembering and I think that eventually, it will all come back. At least that's the hope, and Ezra says that I have to think positive or I'll drive myself crazy.

I do try to go back to sleep after I'm sure that I haven't remembered anything else new. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to sleep, but I know when I don't that my powers become harder to control. Not that I can control them quite yet, but certain things help.

I watch the man fall from the rainbow bridge again in my dreams. I know his name, but it's the same name as the guy who invaded New York, because it's the same guy. Except that the Loki in my dreams is often kind and tender, and doesn't let me fall when we dance. And I don't know how someone like that could try and take over the planet. There's obviously a lot that I still have to remember.

Ezra comes to wake me up in the morning, in the loosest sense of the word. He flips on the lights and looks over my wall while I come to some state of semi-consciousness. He tried a different way once. I panicked and set the bed on fire. It was the last time he tried that way. It wasn't the last time I set the bed on fire.

Ezra's tired of sneaking me pillows.

"Come on, Ally. We've got to get down to breakfast on time today, there's a new arrival." I grumble at him, but he's not above stealing blankets, so I roll out of bed to get ready for the day.

I meet him outside my room, dressed in my uniform: a short sleeve black prison shirt and pants that are too big for me. I've told Ezra to stop apologizing for the outfit, it doesn't bother me that I'm dressed like everyone else because I am like everyone else in the Fridge. Like everything else. Dangerous. I just also happen to be nice and not want to hurt anyone.

Which is why I have Ezra, who followed me here from the Spire. I'm the only occupant in the Ice Box with a case agent. He prefers mentor, and I counter with babysitter and we usually settle on buffer. Ezra's my buffer between the other crazies and my own special brand of crazy.

There's only three of us in the mess hall today, not including said buffer. It's an exciting day when the other enhanced are out of solitary long enough to share a meal, but for the most part, their behavior isn't good enough for that. So my company today is a pair of normal human, but super annoying criminals. There's Ian Quinn, who I punched in the face (on purpose) the first day I was here because he bragged about shooting the SHIELD hacker Skye, and Vanchat, who was also put in here by Coulson's team, and who I almost strangled (on accident) the first time I had a flashback. Even though I didn't know the whole story until last night, it's common knowledge that I worked with Coulson, voluntarily, like a good guy or something, which is only one of many reasons I have not made any friends.

"Hey, Flamethrower," Quinn greets. There's another reason. I have been to solitary twice, and Quinn has made it his personal duty to see if he can push me into going back. But then again, we're all locked up, it's not like he has anything better to do than bully me.

Except of course, flirt with the woman who just walked in, looking stunning even though she's wearing the same prison uniform the rest of us have on. She looks vaguely familiar, older than me by at least a decade, with a striking face and fiery red hair, like mine. She ignores the "Hey Gorgeous," and surprisingly, comes to sit across from me.

"Now I'm definitely escaping this place as soon as possible," she says with a grin. "Care to join me?" I'm surprised, and I look at Ezra, but he doesn't say anything. He's too busy trying to glare at Quinn.

"This place has a hundred floors and is only accessible from the roof," I tell her. "Plus, you're in the Icebox, most of the occupants are enhanced, which means top notch security."

"Well, I don't want it to be easy," she teases. "That's no fun." She extends her hand and I shake it. "Veronika Hanlon."

"Ally Pernix."

"Well, Ally Pernix, what did you do to get sent to SHIELD's maximum security prison?" I pale a little as Quinn and Vanchat reply in unison with their running joke.

"Arson." She ignores them.

"A nightmare," I correct softly, and that's all I want to say about it. Surprisingly, Veronika nods, like she understands.

We eat in silence for a moment, and I consider the turn of events. Veronika seems nice enough, and at the least, she's made Quinn shut up. But this is the Icebox. No one here is as they look, not even me. Just because she's been nice doesn't make her a friend.

"How'd you get stuck in here?" I ask. It's not out of politeness, I want to know if she's the type to play around with people, if this whole thing is a sham.

"Stole some SHIELD tech," she replies. "From the Slingshot, or tried to. Got myself in, couldn't find a thing, let myself get captured so I could ask where all damn stuff went. Didn't expect to be here, but it's a pleasant surprise."

"You're a thief?" I clarify, because I actually think it's cool. She nods.

"I'm many things. So what's the schedule around here?" Veronika asks me, switching topics.

"We spend most of our time in our 'room'," I admit, we both know I mean cell. "Except for meals, a couple hours in the morning and afternoon, and most of the occupants are in solitary right now for behavior or their own safety. They don't come out at all, the guards don't interact with them, and the cells are tiny." I'd be lying if I said that being in solitary didn't scare me, having nothing but my own fractured thoughts to focus on. The two days I've spent in there are where I remembered the worst of my memories so far.

"Sounds like something to avoid," Veronika responds lightly. I just nod and go back to my breakfast. There's an added event on the schedule for me, as the only enhanced not stuck in solitary, and Ezra reminds me of it by tapping his watch. I eat quickly, we might actually be on time today.

"I'll see you at lunch," I tell Veronika, because Ezra's giving me a look. "Don't break out without me," I tease lightly, because I remember that's how she started the conversation.

"That went well," Ezra says as we walk away.

"Right, I forgot how fun making friends with criminals is," I reply dryly. "There's nothing that will go wrong there." Ezra keys us into the elevator, pressing the button for the lab.

"I'm not trying to get you to make friends, Ally, not with this crowd. But you can't hide, it's not healthy. You aren't going to be in here forever." I wasn't sure how much I believed that. It definitely depended on whether or not the Index board decided I needed power inhibitors or not. Ezra was trying to convince them against it, that I needed practice and support, not suppression. He has a meeting next week about it.

He thinks they would let me go back to the Spire if I didn't need inhibitors, and even though I thought that was the best option overall, I have to be honest with myself. It's the most unlikely. They don't let people come back to places they've burned down.

And the inhibitors aren't even close to being ready, that's the whole reason I have to go to the lab in the first place. So the Fridge personnel can poke me with needles and hook me up to electrodes and scan me with machines for the millionth time. They still can't figure out how my powers work. I know how I got them, but the scientists rejected the idea of magic primordial fire residing inside my heart immediately after I shared it with them.

Going to the lab is the least favorite part of my day. It's not the medical stuff, I've gotten used to it enough that the needles and machines don't bother me, though I remember that they used to. Both the human ones and the Asgardian ones.

But the atmosphere in the lab is creepy. They doctors and techs don't talk to me, except for short, clipped instructions. I am not a patient, they have made that clear. I stay silent, they always start with a blood draw. They always need more blood.

It makes me dizzy when they're done, and Ezra has to catch me when I stand to move to the next room. He doesn't like this, but they've threatened to throw him out if he tries to argue.

I wish I knew what the other machines did. They stick wires everywhere, my head, my arms, my chest, my legs. An IV goes in one arm, but they've never told me what's in it. It doesn't make me less dizzy having it in, so I don't think it's fluids. At least now I get to lie down, and the machine whirs and spins around me.

I used to be able to fall asleep in here, and they didn't care, but they've added new wires and as soon as I start to fall asleep, they shock me. Just enough to jump, and get scolded for not holding still.

Some days I don't have to do any of this. That's when we test prototypes, and I don't really like those days any better, but at least it's a one and done thing, instead of a couple hours stuck in here. The prototypes don't hurt, they're just draining.

The techs shock me again and I think it hurts more than it did yesterday. I try to take my mind off of it, but there aren't a lot of distractions. I would talk to Ezra if they didn't tell me to be quiet.

So I notice when some other doctors move through the room, clearly agitated in their low, sharp tones. I catch the words "Daniels" and "outage" as they pass, which is just enough to get my imagination going. Ezra would tell me not to worry, he says I worry too much, but I know I've heard the name Daniels before. He's one of the other occupants in the Ice Box; I've never seen him out of solitary. He's dangerous, is the reason I've heard, the only thing I think Quinn ever said to me without a mocking tone. Dangerous, and not the kind that can be kept at bay by bullying.

I think about it until it's time to go, and I'm so woozy today that Ezra has to take me back to my room in a wheelchair. I always take a nap after lab time, it makes me feel like a kindergartner, but Ezra reminds me that I like it better than joining the others in the rec room. He helps me get to bed, and leaves, he usually takes this time to get paperwork done.

I head to lunch by myself when I wake up, I'm starving, and it's almost too late. I'm not as worried as I usually am, I don't think anyone will still be there, and breakfast wasn't a disaster, so even if there are people, they might just leave me alone.

I'm starving when I wake up, and I walk to lunch alone. Ezra usually has calls to make when he's done with his reports, so I'm on my own this time of day. My face falls as I walk into the cafeteria, it's closed, even though it shouldn't have been for another fifteen minutes. They're ushering everyone out, and I stand by the wall as Quinn and Vanchat pass me. They don't speak, something is off, and they both appear to be playing it cool.

Veronika stops in front of me, slapping an orange and a protein bar into my hands. "We're doing a drill, apparently," she remarks. "Heard one of the guards say 'Code Orange,' any idea?"

I shake my head. "I think Code Black is the worst? But I've only ever heard them say green or blue." Ezra isn't allowed to tell me the protocols, even though he knows all the speaking in code freaks me out. "Where are we going?"

"The common area," Veronika replies. "I'm sure it's fine." I don't know why she feels like she needs to comfort me. We're criminals, we don't need coddling. I make my face look neutral, but that's not what Veronika looks at when she turns in my direction. She's studying my arms, the light coming off of them. Everyone stares, but Veronika seems to make the connection that the light matches my mood.

So she notices when my light starts to flicker faster in response to the mechanical sound of the doors sliding shut and locking. The common area is the most secure room, so they can lock up all up at once. They've even pulled occupants from solitary, people I've never seen before. I don't like this.

There's no way it's a drill.

I take a seat though, wary of Veronika following me. I eat the protein bar and the orange as fast as I can without drawing attention to it. The others are cautious of me, being obviously enhanced. I know I'm not the only one, but anyone else is lucky enough to be able to hide it.

Everywhere I look, people look away, finding someone else to evaluate as a threat. Who they will run from or attack first when the powder keg in the room inevitably blows. I wonder what in Hel possessed the guards to bring everyone from solitary together. It can't be safer this way. Unless the goal is not to keep us safe, but to make sure we slaughter each other if something goes wrong. Maybe I'm overreacting, though. Ezra says I worry too much.

But today my worry is well founded. The lights shut off, even the emergency ones, leaving exactly one light source: me. The other occupants are either staring at me, or starting to punch the whoever is closest to them. I increase my glow, illuminating the room more as a warning than a favor, and leap from my chair. Veronika follows, but she doesn't attack me. I admit I'm surprised.

I evade the few brave enough to advance on me, I'm faster than most of their blows and only hit defensively. I know it can only be a temporary tactic, but the memories of my many battle haunt me. The warrior in them, who fights without hesitation, scares me.

Veronika is not so inhibited. She flings one inmate across the room, and I only realize after the fact that he'd been reaching for me. "We need to get out of here," she yells to me. "Get to the door!" She starts to bulldoze a path through.

"The door is locked!" I holler back. A handful of large and intimidating occupants are already trying; they can't get it open. I do follow in Veronika's wake though, the others have begun to back off. They know this is a fight they can't win.

"You can melt through it!" She doesn't phrase it as a question. I don't argue it, because I've never actually tried it, I haven't actively practiced my powers since coming to the Fridge. I'm willing to try, anything is better than the mess in here.

We're a couple yards from the door when we hear the locks clicking again. They don't sound like they're working very well. But they open, fluorescent light clashing with my firelight glow. It's not a guard standing there, but a man with a wicked grin on his face, staring into the bloody crowd. Staring at me.

"It's your blood they've been pumping into me, isn't it?" he snarls. I remember what the lab doctors had said earlier, about Daniels and an outage. I made the obvious connection. He'd made the lights go out, broken the door. All in search of me. "You're the one making me stronger."

One of the men by the door attempt to sneak past Daniels. The newcomer just briefly brushes him on the shoulder, and the man drops. He's not breathing. "Don't let him touch you!" Veronika warns. She backs away.

Daniels' eyes haven't left mine. He's waiting for me to respond. I don't know what he wants: a confirmation, an apology?

"I guess," I finally say. "I was wondering where it all went." Daniels smiles, and chills replace the fire in my veins.

"Well, then, let's see how strong I can get from the source." He advances as I back up, and the room clears around us. It's a sick game of tag, and I'm determined not to be It. Which means cheating, there's no way I can get around him and there's no escape from the Fridge anyway.

Just before Daniels runs toward me, I let the fire out, it emerges from my skin to race along my arms and face. Everywhere there's exposed skin, there's bright campfire flames. I knock Daniels' hands aside, careful to touch him only where his clothes are. Quick blows on the inside of the arm, hitting pressure points, and then lunging out of reach. A faster step to get behind him, to slam a foot down on the inside of his knee.

I remember where I learned to fight now. It doesn't make it any less terrifying. And he seems to be leeching the light out of me, even without direct contact.

I burn brighter, kneeing Daniels in the side. He's on his knees now, reaching for where I stand behind him. I kick him in the back and turn to run, it's been seconds since we started fighting, but the other occupants who could get out the open door have. Veronika waited for me, and we run to the door together.

I don't make it. Something tugs at the back of my shirt, or rather , it reaches through my clothes to grab inside my back, keeping me from reaching the door. I turn to find a sickening tentacle of black smoke connect to me, automatically attacked by the flames that have begun to burn through my shirt. It's surprising my clothing has made it this long.

But I myself might not make it much longer, as Daniels uses whatever dark force this is to keep me in place. The Flame inside rages against it, but I keep it contained out of fear, as always. Soon I won't have a choice. I fight back as Daniels grabs for me, but he is too close now, and I cannot move fast enough. I am not the warrior my memory wants me to be.

I am, however, still on fire, and Daniels can't touch me for long enough to accomplish whatever he is trying to do. It seems futile. He touches me, my arms, my face, and the fire fades, but only for a moment. He can't absorb all of it, if that's what he's trying to do.

I can use that. It's a desperate call, but I have to make it. The next time he grabs me, I wrap my hands around his arms. I let the Flame out just a little more, a bare fraction of the power that wants to be set free. Daniels breaths it in with greed and out with a scream. He sinks to his knees. It's too much for him, this thing inside of me. He collapses, and I turn off my flames and step away as quickly as I can.

—

"This ends now, Ally, I mean it!" Ezra paces the length of the table, fuming. We're in the conference room, something I didn't even know the Fridge had. But every SHIELD facility apparently has a conference room, so that agents can go on spiels like the one Ezra has been giving me. "This place is a damn mess, and at the very least I'm getting you out."

As it turns out, the doctors in the lab haven't been working on inhibitors or solutions for the enhanced housed in the Icebox, as is their job. Instead, they've been experimenting on us, exploring ways to increase our volatility. Giving Daniels my blood is a prime example. He's back in solitary now, as are most of the other occupants.

"Can you?" I ask. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love to not spend my life in a maximum security SHIELD facility, but it's not like there's anywhere else for me to go."

"Would you cut that out?" Ezra snaps. "You aren't like them, Pernix. You don't belong here. You're not a threat. You're almost in control of your abilities even without the useless inhibitors that aren't being built. Don't you want to live a normal life?"

I'm shocked at the determination in Ezra's tone. He means it. "Yeah, I do."

Ezra smiles like I've finally said something that makes sense. "Then we'll make it happen, Ally, I promise."