Age 15
Outskirts, Alfheim
The manacles are a new addition.
I hadn't needed them before, Eldmara was enough to keep me cowed and in line, but I'm not that sad, terrified little girl anymore. I'm a captain and a lady and I'm in control of my powers, every part of which infuriates, or maybe scares Eldmara. Maybe if I'd done a better job playing along, I wouldn't have had them slapped on less than a day after we left Asgard.
My wrists still hurt, even though it's been weeks since I broke them, trying to see if I could slip the manacles and escape. There's no plan now, but if I could get away, call Heimdall, surely they would bring me back. But the metal around my wrists has been enchanted, and there's something wrong with the ring around my neck too. Unless Eldmara wants me to use them, it inhibits my powers, leaving me weak and dizzy.
The only positive was that Eldmara had her minions put them on me before making me change clothes. The promise stone is still there, pressed against my neck so hard I think it's cut me. But it's there, reminding me of Loki's promise. One that he can't fulfill. Because I'm not on Asgard.
We're on Alfheim, in the Outskirts, in towns that I've visited before. They don't recognize me, or I hope more than anything that they don't recognize me.
I sit up, brushing dirt off my arms and the red dress I've been wearing for the past week. There were two identical ones before that, I burned them.
"Holocaust?" I flinch at the name, I could endure it when it was a taunt, but now Eldmara never calls me anything else, and the others use it on the rare occasion they address me. I miss the sound of my own name.
I don't answer her with words, just move to where she'll expect me in front of her tent. I know the routine by now. Stare at the ground while she scolds me for not taking better care of my appearance, which is a direct result of her mistreatment. Nod at the list of menial tasks she assigns me. Stare at the ground some more as she yells because somehow in all of that, I've disappointed her. And repeat.
Today, it's laundry. I almost laugh, because we have sorcerers who can literally do this with magic, but Eldmara would rather attempt to demean me by making me, gasp, do chores. It's ridiculous, because I don't mind, and it's better than the other things she threatens to make me do. Laundry doesn't hurt anyone. Neither does cleaning or hauling equipment or starting the fire at night.
All that bluster and effort about getting me back and I'm no more useful than any other kid she's got working for her. Because the one thing she wants to use me for, I won't do, and none of her sorcerers have figured out how to force me. The day they figure it out is the day it's over for me. Until then, I get chores.
When the laundry is done, I wait next to the fire for more instruction. Once, the first week, I took my time, sat outside of camp for a while, trying to break out and get clear. Retribution was swift, and I haven't been left alone since.
"Holocaust, you're done early." Mina's the only one who uses the name with hesitance, the closest thing I have to an ally. "The mistress wants to see you fight."
It always comes back to this, Eldmara's favorite pastime. Pitting me against her lackeys, violence and destruction. Everytime I finish early.
Eldmara is lounging on her palanquin when I get there, and as always, the ice creeps up my back just being in her presence. I don't know if it's me anticipating her attack or if she does it to unsettle me. Mina unlocks the manacles and takes them off, but leaves the collar around my neck.
"Don't disappoint me this time," is all Eldmara says for now. She motions to one of her minions, standing aside from the others. He's massive, larger than Thor or Volstagg. I remember him, remember how many bones he broke.
I dodge the first punch and before he can throw another one, I've already kneed him in the groin, nailed him in the diaphragm, and as he keels forward, wrapped an arm around his neck from behind. It's the best way I can think of to bring him down, he's too sturdy for a knockout punch from what I remember, and I can't reach anyway.
He gets a grip on my upper arm and throws me over him. I land on my back, unable to breathe. I feel the rib break as he slams my chest and I roll out of the way. Gaining one sparse breath, I push myself up. I have to dodge again, he's getting faster now, a dumb smirk spreading across his face.
I get to the side of him and swing my leg out to sweep him. It's not the brightest of moves, I did it on reflex. He's too big to go completely down, but I get him to his knees. Kicking his chest is like kicking a wall, so I go for his head instead, even though it throws me off balance. He hits the ground, tries to push himself back up, and falls back into the dirt.
"Finish him," comes Eldmara's command. I look up at her sharply.
"No." I know defiance like that will be punished, but she won't make me kill. "It was a spar, I won."
"Do you think you're a soldier, Holocaust?" Eldmara rises from her spot, striding toward me. The chill intensifies. "Do you think you have honor? You have one purpose."
Ice forms tight around my wrists, forcing me forward and off balance. I glare at her. "Holocaust, you're bred for destruction. Your purpose is to bring death, as much as you can, wherever you go. Asgard will be reborn in your flames, and my love will return to me."
"I control the Flame," I retort. "I won't be your weapon." I receive a vicious icy backhand for that one, and I can feel blood dripping down the side of my face. A perfect moment for Loki to appear with a handful of soldiers to witness it and arrest Eldmara. If it were Asgard, I'd be home by now. But this isn't Asgard.
"You will obey me!" The ice grows up my arms, locking them at painful angles. I cry out softly, trying to fight it. The light inside me pulses and the ice steams where it comes into contact with my skin. I don't let it go anymore than that, to prove my point. I control the Flame. "Kill him!"
"No!"
"You may be able to fight now, girl, but you cannot defy me. And eventually, you'll have to use that fire inside you, just like before." The ice is up to my neck now, and down to my waist. If it wasn't holding me up, I'd be on the ground.
"Go to Hel." I grit my teeth and try to ignore the pain. Almost my whole body has pins and needles now, and there's tears mingling with the blood on my face.
"Soon, Holocaust. She'll come soon enough." The ice encapsulates me, cutting off all sound but my frantic heartbeat. The ice is agony against my skin, it doesn't melt against the heat, just evaporates and refreezes, over and over, mind numbing.
She lets me out eventually, when the sun has already set, and the fires have burnt out. I struggle to restart them, I have no energy to impart. Once last slap in the face.
I get the wood to spark, at least it's dry, and as the fire builds, I draw from it's warmth. Not for long though. Rough hands replace the manacles around my wrists and drag me away, just far enough that even when the fire is roaring, I can't feel it. I'm left shivering. Eldmara's ice isn't natural, it leeches more than heat.
I'm not out of earshot though, because Eldmara is the closest thing to a banshee I've ever encountered. This time it's Mina she's directing her anger at, though I missed what for. Legitimate excuse or not, the result is the same. Mina gets frozen, despite her hands glowing with whatever defensive spell she was trying to conjure. She gets left out to defrost next to me, so the fire won't do her any good. Unfortunately, I can't help her either.
Too tired to move but too cold to sleep, I lay there in the dirt. I'll recover eventually, but it's a grueling process. I stop shivering about the time that Mina starts, having dropped from her block of ice as it dissipates.
"I don't know how you take it, Ally," she chokes out. I jolt at the sound of my own name. "I'm sorry."
"Is that really the first time she's iced you?" I ask. It's like Eldmara's favorite thing. Why resolve things normally when you can just freeze your enemies in ice and beat them up?
"First time with a spell in my hand. It makes it worse, having that extra energy ripped away. That's how you are all the time, and Mistress does it to you almost everyday." I'm surprised Mina's so coherent, but maybe talking helps.
"It's not like I have a choice," I say. "I won't do what she wants, not ever. Why'd she get mad at you anyway?"
"I detected some magical interference, someone is trying to spy on us. I did my best to block it, but Mistress was angry it happened at all. I couldn't help it, but you know how she gets."
I have to fight to contain my excitement. It has to be Loki, it has to. He's looking for me. He'll come, I know he will.
"Yeah," I say. "I know." I wonder if she'll help me, Mina has always been the closest thing to kind. But I'd have to make a compelling case to overcome the fear of Eldmara. "But what can we do?"
"Nothing," Mina is quick to say, and my hope falters. There's too much fear in her.
I fall asleep there, on the edge of our camp. The other elites used to joke that I could fall asleep anywhere, but what used to be a talent is a lifesaver, or a curse depending on the night. Tonight I'm grateful, sleeping helps me to heal, and I'm warm when I wake.
I let myself watch the suns rise, one after the other. It's beautiful, combined with the gold and green scenery. The way the rosy dawn light sparkles off the leaves and casts whimsical shadows on the ground is stunning. I wish I had time to admire it.
I approach Eldmara's tent again, but something is wrong. The camp is too quiet. There's less of Eldmara's people out, only the perimeter guards, and some of the less important kids. I know Eldmara stole some of them from the last village we visited.
As I wait, I observe, looking for where everyone went. Nothing feels right. She's never taken this long.
A flicker of movement catches my eye, and I barely avoid the fist that shoots out of the tent next to me. More figures emerge, some with weapons, some with magic. It's an ambush, and I'm at the center.
The manacles make it incredibly difficult to defend myself. I can't even think about attacking, not when I'm weaponless and just trying not to die. I try using their attacks to break the chain, but all I end up doing is deflecting them and it's not enough.
"Kill them!" Eldmara screeches from somewhere. I can't see, but there no ice, so she can't be directly in the fray. "Burn them."
I take that to mean she's disabled whatever magic is in my collar, but I don't want to obey her. I use my powers, but sparingly. They won't melt the manacles, and most of Eldmara's slaves aren't much older than I am. I won't kill them. I won't kill for her.
I don't know how injured I get before they get me to the ground, but after that, it's all over. They beat me mercilessly, and I can barely defend my head. I can't see, I don't know if I've been blinded by magic or by blood. I scream, but it doesn't slow them down.
There's only one thing that would, and I realize I can't use it. That's what Eldmara wants, me using the Flame, lashing out. I can't give in.
It'll stop soon, it has to. If they were supposed to kill me, I would be dead already. If I'm alive it's because they have orders to leave me that way. I just have to hold out, take the hits.
Wait for someone to knock me unconscious.
When I come to, I can barely breathe. Everything below my neck is an indistinguishable pulsating agony. I almost black out; I can't tell what's broken or bruised, only that it hurts.
"Hold still," a voice says, not unkind, but not gentle. I'm being prodded, or maybe bandaged. I try my best to not move.
The pain fades along with consciousness, and I loop between pain and blackness. The voice stays, the same one, but I don't recognize it. It's not surprising, I don't get tended to very often. Good thing I heal faster than normal humans. I get fed sometimes, or given water, but I'm never awake for very long.
One time it's not the medic there, it's Mina, and she looks troubled. I barely register it, I'm cold, I can feel the ice on my skin. I curl automatically, what hasn't gone numb still aches and I can't deal with Eldmara right now. Her voice, her demands, I can't possible do what she wants now, I'm too injured.
Just leave me alone, I beg silently. Just leave me alone.
"Relax," Mina says. "You need to rest. Mistress is outraged, she was sure it would work, and instead they almost killed you. You'll need your strength for whatever she's planning next, it won't be good."
"Cold," I mutter in response.
"They covered you in ice, to keep the swelling down, I think. You're a giant bruise, Ally." Mina shifts some of it, and they panic subsides, but a part of me would almost prefer the pain.
"What happened to letting me die?" I say. "That was the company line before, if I died holding the Flame, Mistress was just going to bond someone new to it. Seems like less trouble."
"Mistress waited years to find someone who could, it was all just bluffing before, I think," Mina replies. "Plus, she knows the throne would come after her. You're important, Ally, you know they'd shut Eldmara down if they knew what she was doing."
I almost want to scream. That was the plan, but the hope of it died as soon as we left Asgard. Now there's no plan, and no escape.
I sleep to escape the cold, and when I wake, I'm stiff. But I'm warm, alive and unchained. And as a first since we've been here, I'm in one of the tents. There's a dress, another red one, but it's clean and whole. I change as quickly as I can, I don't know when someone will be back to put the manacles back on.
There's food and water too, and I don't hesitate to take it. I wonder why I'm being treated so civilly, if it's another tactic Eldmara is trying. Somehow I doubt it. I'm just too valuable to kill is all.
I debate leaving the tent. Another ambush could be waiting for me outside, and while I can walk, I won't be able to fight. I assess my injuries. Mina was right, I'm one big bruise. Some bones were broken, I can tell, but I must have been out for days, maybe a week. They've mostly healed.
The flap rustles and I look up in caution. It's Mina again, and I don't like the look on her face. It's like she's trying not to worry. "Mistress is waiting for you."
"Can I say no?" I gesture to the tent. "Seems all I needed for an upgrade was to get beaten to death."
"Ally…" Mina's voice is low, serious. "She thinks she's figured it out, how to make you use the Flame."
My heart drops. "I won't do it, she can't make me. It's impossible."
Mina shrugs. "Eldmara's convinced, and Ally, if it isn't voluntary, it could kill you. Either you choose it or you could die."
"Then I'll die." Better that than be Eldmara's weapon. To use, over and over, bring all that death she seems so fond of. Mina doesn't respond to it, just holds the flap open for me.
I walk out as confidently as I can, immediately facing Eldmara's icy glare. She's back in her ceremonial outfit, blonde hair coiled around the Crest instead of blowing free like normal. Our dresses are the same shade, but hers is more ornate, accentuated by gold.
"Holocaust," she greets coolly. I resist the urge to tell her I have a name. "I have a proposition for you."
"So I've heard." I don't like this. She's never treated me like this, she must be desperate to think it will work. It also means that Mina might be right.
"I need the Flame, and you're the only one that can use it." Eldmara isn't screaming, and somehow that sparks more dread. "At least, more than once."
"No."
Eldmara raises an eyebrow. "You haven't even heard what I have to say."
"There's nothing you could offer me that's even remotely tempting," I counter. We both know she won't give me my freedom, not without committing some atrocity, and it's not worth it.
"There really isn't? You fall into line and you'll get everything you ever wanted, once my beloved arrives. Home on Midgard, that prince by your side. Never fearing, never in danger."
"At the price of how many lives?"
"As many as it takes." It's sick, how cavalier she says it. Like those nameless people she's already planning to kill don't matter.
"No."
We stare at each other for a long time. I don't shy away from her gaze, even though my heart's beating incredibly fast and the light on my arms shines out behind the bruises.
"Take her." I don't fight the hands that come forward, reattaching the manacles and the collar. My necklace gets pressed against my throat again. But it's still there, and now it's a comfort. I think I would've made Loki proud, making that choice. I'll never know.
They drag me along, back to my normal spot outside the tents. I'm not there for long, they just need somewhere to put me while they pack up camp. We're moving again, and I know I won't like where.
It's a town I recognize, one of the bigger ones. It was our last stop before Grand Asylum, where I infiltrated by myself and almost died. We didn't do much fighting here, there weren't a lot of enemy soldiers. Just families trying to make a living, who appreciated an army who paid fairly for much needed supplies.
We make out way through the village, houses and huts thrown together in Alfheim's carefree way. There's a mix of technology here, from the more modern that eclipses anything I've seen on Earth to tents made purely from cloth and branches. I thought it was beautiful when we came through before, peaceful and exciting. Now I'm suspicious of everything. I don't trust my own company this time.
We reach the town center and people already give us strange looks. Eldmara surveys them, amused like she's watching children at play. She nodded, almost imperceptibly. Her goons move, disappearing in the throng of people.
She looks at me, but we don't move for quite some time. Waiting for the others to get into position. The ones who have stayed are magical apprentices, like Mina. She doesn't look at me.
When we've waited long enough, two of them force me to the middle. Eldmara faces me, and already the ice creeps toward me. The cold makes me shrink, and I stare at the ground.
"I do hope you survive this," Eldmara tells me. I wish she'd go back to yelling. "But if you don't, I hope this is enough."
The ice creeps up my leg in one deliberate tendril, constricting bruises and barely healed bones. It circles my torso, I can hardly breathe. The Flame grows restless, flickering just slightly on the surface of my arms. She's taking her time on purpose, but I won't use my powers. I won't lose control. She can't make me.
The ice coils around my throat like a noose. The villagers have begun to notice that something is wrong. They move to get out of the way, retreating into homes and shops.
The cold doesn't stop at my collarbone, just changes direction. It goes inside me, through my skin to my heart pounding harder and harder. The Eternal Flame pushes against it. I will it to stop, keeping it under control.
But it's not stopping. It's building, gathering energy. I can feel myself getting warmer.
"Stop," I tell Eldmara. "Stop it."
"It's working." She smiles, and makes it colder. I cry out, the stabbing pain sends me to my knees. I fight it, as hard as I can, but the Flame feels threatened. If I die, it dies. And it won't go down without a fight.
Fire erupts from my heart, tearing it's way through my body. I scream, the cold is gone but it's been replaced by fire, and for the first time in over a year, it burns. Just like it did the night I bonded to it.
One eternal moment of agony passes in nothing but fire. It stabs straight though to my heart, my soul. I'm ripped apart, each part burning.
And then everything ends.
Waking is a surprise, but not a pleasant one. My stomach rolls and my limbs feel like ash, nothing holding them together. I cry out, and water trickles into my mouth, hitting my paper dry throat and making me cough. The light stings my eyes when I open them, and I keep them shut.
"You should've accepted my offer," a voice says. Eldmara, clearly satisfied. She walks away.
"I'm sorry, Ally," Mina whispers to me. She gives me more water. It helps, but I still feel physically sick.
I can't do this again, can't let it happen. I don't know how big the fire was, how many people it killed. I have to get out of here before Eldmara can do it again. And I'll need help.
It's hours before I can open my eyes again, and even longer before it's just Mina and I again. I work up the courage to speak.
"Mina," I whisper. "You have to help me." She looks surprised and uncomfortable. I know she doesn't want to risk it.
"The princes, they're looking for me. We had a plan, but they didn't expect us to leave Asgard. If you can get a message to them, let them know… They can stop her." It's out there now. Mina could betray me, go straight to Eldmara and tell her.
"Okay," she says, slowly and quietly. "I'll help you."