Sekhmet: And now it's time for Angel Fun Facts! Sacriel, (spelled Sachiel on the theology section of Wikipedia) the third Angel, is the Christian angel of wealth and clarity, Israfel, whom we faced last week, is the Islamic angel of music, and Sandalphon, who were facing this week, is the Christian angel of unborn children. I like finding the Angels that match up with their depictions, it's cool.

Susano-o: Cool, more stolen christian imagery. Hey I'm back in the notes, had some mental issues but I'm getting better.

Sekhmet: I'm glad you're back. Our fans missed you. I just like comparing the Angels to their episodes. It's funny when I find an unwitting connection.

Susano-o: Ok, also Magma Diver isn't that bad, fight me IRL.

Sekhmet: We all know there's only one actually bad episode of Eva, and that's the recap episode. The others are simply a matter of ranking your favorites from your less favorites.

Susano-o: Yes this is true (Kaworu isn't that good of an episode).

Sekhmet: I like Kaworu. Ok, I like anime Kaworu. He filled the needed position of a person Shinji could actually talk to, even if it was all a ploy in the end. I like Rebuild Kaworu too, I feel like their relationship was a lot more fleshed out, which is exactly what I wanted from the anime.

Susano-o: And the other Kaworus.

Sekhmet: We don't talk about manga Kaworu. He's a creep.

Susano-o: Moving on then, let's get this show on the road.

Sekhmet: Yes, it's been all too long. Happy thanksgiving!

Chapter 11: The Eighth Angel, Sandalphon

"No no no Blue like this," Isabelle sighed turning the music back on. "Jai Ho!" She sang waving her arms up and down rapidly in front of her. "Jai Ho!"

Rei nodded and she tried to follow Isabelle's movements, but she was too stiff and it looked more like she was trying to do the robot.

"Where did you even find this? This CD looks like it was dug up from the rubble." Mary said, observing the beaten up case.

"Some store in what was left of Sydney the last time we went there," Isabelle answered as she tried to correct Rei's movements.

"That dance looks stupid," Asuka snarked rolling her eyes from her spot on the floor where Mari was brushing out her hair. "And if you pull a knot again I'm throwing your glasses down the toilet," She warned Mari.

"Hai Hai Queenie," Mari said dismissively as she carefully worked a knot out of Asuka's hair.

"I think it's endearing." Adelise said.

"Yeah, it's not so bad. A little tricky though." Shinji agreed.

"Well come on then Shin-Kun!" Isabelle said grabbing him and pulling him over to their dance circle. "Jai Ho with us!" She laughed waving her arms.

"Oh, ok." Shinji said, lightly flailing his arms trying to keep up with the others but also not hit anybody else.

"No no no keep them in front of you," Isabelle said forcing his arms into the proper position. "Jez you and Blue are so bad at this you'd think you're related."

"That's ridiculous, they couldn't look more different!" Mary said.

"I don't know," Asuka smirked when she saw the embarrassed blushes on the two in questions face. "They're both socially awkward, and they even blush the same!" She yelled pointing at the two's red faces.

"Yes, but Mary's right, they look nothing alike. Plus a lot of people are socially awkward." Adelise said.

"I'll agree with Queenie here," Mari said with her cat like smirk. "It's very odd that they also both work at NERV."

"Ok ok we'll settle this now," Isabelle said. "Are you two related?" She asked.

"Of course not! At least, I don't think so." Shinji said, at first incredulously but then like he wasn't sure. "I mean, you DID spend a lot of your life at NERV though, right?"

Rei's cheeks went pale as she started to answer, but the ringing of the phone ended that line of questioning as the seven scrambled to be the ones to answer it, kick and clawing like a pack of wild dingoes fighting over a baby.

"Stop narrating our fights with weird Australian sayings!" Asuka yelled grabbing Isabelle's hand away from the phone and suplexing her to the floor.

"Bloody Boofhead!" Isabelle joked putting Auska in an anaconda choke hold.

Mary finally grabbed the phone. "Moshi moshi! Ano, Ono desukedo!"

"Mary, I know it's you. I live here." Misato said, deadpanning.

"I gotta practice, sue me. What's going on?" Mary asked.

"Oh nothing just calling to tell you all to get to school already," Misato sing-songed. "If you're all late again I'll be making dinner for the rest of the week!"

"Joke's on you, I love your cooking!" Mary said and promptly hung up the phone, only to realize that she was alone in her opinion and panicked. "We gotta get our asses in gear or Misato's cooking tonight!"

"...Oh piss!" Isabelle shouted unlocking herself from Asuka and grabbing her backpack. "Every woman for themselves!" She yelled running out the door.

Adelise scratched her head. "Why did Isabelle just run out without her shoes?" She asked.

"No one but Mary likes Misato's cooking." Shinji explained, gathering his things. "It's mostly a horrible concoction of instant foods that no one would think of."

"It cannot be that bad." Adelise said cheerfully.

"It is," Rei said grabbing her bag.

"I think it's pretty good." Mary said, garnering stares of insanity as she took her sweet time getting her things.

"Alright then…" Asuka said getting her stuff together, grab Isabelle's shoes as she did, and leaving for the train station. "Come on Mari let's go."

"Alright alright," Mari said grabbing her bag and throwing an arm around Asuka, who grumbled but let it stay. One by one the children walked their way out the door in various states of preparedness and started on their day of school.

…

"You're not going on the trip," Misato said bluntly.

"What?! Why not?!" Asuka practically shrieked. The rest of her coworkers looked on in a mixture of previous acceptance of the facts and bewilderment that she hadn't gotten the memo yet, or chose to ignore it.

"You have to be on call in case of an Angel attack," Misato explained. "We can't have you all a plane ride away while an Angel is rampaging in the city."

Ritsuko nodded as she looked over a report. "You're all too valuable to NERV to be left outside our jurisdiction without people watching you."

"But I've never gone before! It's been too long since I've done anything normal anyway!" She argued. "Mary, back me up on this! You've never gone either!"

"I never had a desire to. Think about it this way. If we had gone, there's no doubt an Angel would have attacked and we'd have been pulled from the trip early anyway. That's just Murphy's Law spitting in our faces." Mary said.

Asuka turned red as she spun around to Isabelle. "I've already been," Isabelle answered shrugging. "You see one reef and get stung by one blue ringed octopus you've seen them all."

"Oh you're useless!" Asuka growled, completely ignoring the octopus comment.

"Oh come one Queenie," Mari cooed. "Would you rather be swimming around some broken old ruins, or taking your EVA and driving a prog-spear into the core of an Angel as it's blood covers you in a shower of death?" She whispered into Asuka's ear.

"That's not a fair question, you know I want both!" Asuka protested.

Everyone looked at her like she was insane, and Isabelle was left wondering what those two's sex life would look like.

"Alright then," Misato said not missing a beat. "And don't worry you can see this as an opportunity to improve your grades!" She said holding out seven report cards with a dark grin. "Did you think I wouldn't see them?" She asked, and everyone blushed at the chastisement.

…

"Look, I know I give this place a lot of leeway when it comes to impressing me. It's not that hard." Mary said, hunched over a textbook and growing increasingly more irate. "But was there really a need for THREE alphabets?!"

"No there isn't," Isabelle hissed erasing her work. "And people say english is hard, at least all our letters only mean one thing."

"I once heard that English is several languages hiding in a trench coat, trying to sneak into an R rated movie." Shinji said.

"Yeah that's about right." Mary agreed. "What about you Adelise? What's French like?"

"In French, we have twelve letters. We pronounce four of them." Adelise said.

"Yeah can confirm, French is weird," Isabelle said before turning to Asuka. "Was ist mit deutscher Asuka? Wie komisch ist es? Du weißt außerdem, dass es die ganze Zeit wütend klingt."

"I don't know what you're complaining about. German is the perfect language! It just sounds angry to the uninformed!" Asuka huffed.

"There's an Übermensch joke in there somewhere," Isabelle added. "-But I'm not gonna sink that low."

"Don't a bunch of weird untranslatable sadness words come from German? Like anemoia?" Mary asked.

"Anemoia isn't German. You're probably thinking of words like Kummerspeck, weight gained from emotional eating. It literally translates to grief bacon." Asuka explained.

"We should be focusing on our work," Rei said answering the next problem. "Now Shinji, explain thermal expansion."

"Oh, uh, thermal expansion is, it's that things tend to get bigger as they heat up I think." Shinji said, struggling to remember exactly.

"Right. So if I rubbed Mary's boobs, would they get bigger or smaller?" Asuka asked.

Isabelle spit out her drink laughing at that, Mari was giggling while Rei and Adelise looked confused.

"Don't demonstrate that." Mary said. "It's ok, nothing's happening." She said, and Shinji was hiding his face in his hands to avoid the embarrassment strewn across it.

"Oh Queenie, you like rubbing other girls breasts?" Mari asked trailing a hand up Asuka's arm. "Because you can rub mine anytime you want~"

"Not in a million years. It was just an example." Asuka grumbled.

"Anyway," Rei said cutting the sexual tension like a knife. "We're almost done, the sooner we finish the sooner we can go swimming."

"Or in my case, dead floating." Mary said.

….

"Hey Peaches watch this!" Isabelle yelled from top of the diving board.

Mary pulled her head up from her spread eagle floating position near one of the edges of the pool. "Alright I'm watching, I'm watching."

"This one's for professionals only," Isabelle said before taking a running leap off it. "Banzai!" She shouted as she cannonballed into the pool.

"10," Mari said holding up all ten fingers.

"10!" Adelise agreed.

"4 and I'm being generous," Asuka joked.

"9." Mary said.

"9 and a half." Shinji said.

"Woop!" Isabelle giggled as she swam to the edge. "Blue you're up!" Rei took her place at the edge of the board and jumped, landing in the pool without any waves or a splash.

"Umm 10," Mari said in shock.

"I feel compelled to give that a ten." Mary said.

"10. Shinji agreed.

"Magnifique! 10!" Adelise yelled clapping.

"10, damn it Wondergirl is there anything you aren't good at?" Asuka snorted crossing her arms.

"I cannot cook," Rei said floating on her back across the pool, somehow without kicking her legs.

"That's it?" Mary asked.

"I also cannot eat meat, but the former is more what she was asking."

"I can teach you if you want." Shinji offered.

"It would end badly, but thank you for the offer," Rei said nodding.

….

"So there's an angel in the volcano?" Isabelle asked.

"Yes," Misato said annoyed she had to repeat this.

"And it's in an embryo state?"

"Yes."

"And you want one of us to go down there and try to capture it, inside a volcano full of liquid hot magma, one of the most inhospitable areas on Earth with multiple atmospheres of pressure that would prevent us from moving properly in case of an emergency, while being held by a few cables and a prayer?"

"Umm yes," Misato said now seeing Isabelle's points.

"Yeah no," Isabelle said sighing. "This is so obviously a trap we may as well just put our hands inside a bloody bear trap instead."

"Yeah I have to agree, this sounds like an awful idea." Mary said.

"...I also think it's a bad idea." Shinji said with more trepidation than the others, but still firm on his stance.

"I think my glasses would explode," Mari said adjusting her lenses.

"I do not want to go in such a nasty place, even if I am ze dead," Adelise added.

"I'm not an idiot," Asuka snorted.

"I will go if necessary," Rei piped up.

"Ok ok," Misato said sighing. "I see your points now, and we will-"

"Be continuing the operation as scheduled," Gendo suddenly cut in from above.

Misato whipped around. "-But sir!"

"Capturing an Angel alive would be a valuable tool in helping discover their weaknesses," Gendo continued. "Whether it is a trap or not is irrelevant when we have a chance."

"What!? You're really gonna send one of us down there!" Isabelle shouted up. "It's too dangerous!"

"Even me the best pilot would have trouble down there," Asuka continued backing Isabelle up. "There's a huge chance one of us will die!"

Adelise whined as she curled up into Mari's side, who patted her back as she looked around at the guards appearing out of the woodwork once Isabelle and Asuka started shouting. "Oh this isn't good," Mari said looking around. Mary looked ready to fight someone.

"No, I can't let this happen! I have to say something! But what do I say? What CAN I say?" Shinji thought, panicking as the guards started to close in around them. Before he could stop himself, words started tumbling out of his mouth on their own accord. "No way! We didn't get four or five angels into this mess just to throw our lives away for some hair brained scheme that may not even work!"

Everyone looked at him in shock.

"Shinji…" Misato whispered.

"Very well," Gendo said again interrupting her. "If you can think of a better plan, be my guest."

"Wait that actually worked?!" Shinji thought, the outcome of the situation causing him to freeze in his tracks.

"What if we lured it out of the volcano and sprayed it with coolant? If it's adapted to the volcano, it would shrivel up and die under the extreme chill!" Asuka stepped in, covering the empty space just in time.

"Ritsuko?" Misato asked.

"Theoretically yes, a change of temperature that fast would undoubtedly cause serious damage to the Angel's body, AT-field or not," Ritsuko confirmed a few minutes later.

"So let's do that! Once it's crippled, we can spear it no problem! It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel!" Asuka continued.

Gendo said nothing, and then a few minutes later he simply said. "Very well."

Silent celebration and relief rang through everyone's heads.

…

"So Shinji," Isabelle said smirking as they rode to the battlefield. "Me and Mari were wondering where you keep them?"

"Keep what?" Shinji asked, not being aware of what he had just been baited into.

"Those giant brass balls you're packing down there," Mari finished and then her and Isabelle lost it. Shinji put his face in his hands again, and Mary rolled her eyes.

"I can assure you that Shinji's tesitcles are only of slightly larger than size than a normal boy of his age," Rei added, making the two laugh even harder, Shinji groan in embarrassment, and Asuka go red in the face.

"Would you stop that? The hard part might be over but we still gotta kill the thing." Asuka huffed.

"Oh no, the hard part is right here," Mari giggled rubbing her plug suit clad foot on Shinji's crotch.

"Iz this not ze sexual harassment?" Adelise asked as Shinji turned even redder.

"Would you all shut up for two seconds? I have to stay focused or I might fling myself out of here from sheer secondhand embarrassment." Mary growled.

"Oh why?" Mari asked giggling. "Are you embarrassed to see Shinji's hard part?" She asked giving her a cat like smile and a purr.

"Well maybe I am! That's none of your business!" Mary said, and turned her head out the window so no one could see her flush.

"OOOOHHHH…" The four girls said giggling, except Rei who looked confused and Shinji who was a tomato.

"Why is seeing an erect penis so embarrassing?" Rei finally piped up in her own unique way, and the cabin erupted in laughter.

….

When everything was set up and ready, a plane flew overhead and dropped an N2 mine into the volcano. It landed with a plop and exploded instantly, blowing a hole in the volcano and sending magma flying upwards in a giant fireball. There was a minute of silence as they watched the magma cool before a roar shook the ground and the Angel started crawling out of the volcano, it's limbs not adapted to land based travel, so it sort of slithered and crawled like a lungfish would.

"Alright everyone, Chill! Asuka yelled spraying the angel with her liquid nitrogen extinguisher. The Angel shrieked at the sudden temperature changed.

"Red! did you seriously just-!" Isabelle shouted turning on her extinguisher.

"No regrets!" Asuka laughed madly as she watched the angel's hide start to harden and crack.

"I like that movie." Mary said with a joyous tone as she stabbed at the hide.

"That movie was an insult to filmmaking," Adelise said in an uncharacteristically deadpan tone while stabbing the angel's tail.

"But it was funny and it made my popcorn taste better, so that's all that matters." Mary said. "Besides, I like Ivy's design."

"Zat design was and insult to fashion!" Adelise yelled slipping back into French mid rant.

"It was cool though." Mary said, which only made Adelise yell more.

"I think you should stop before Frenchie blows a gasket," Mari said driving her spear into its eyes. "Shinji hit the core please."

"Got it!" Shinji said, tapping the core and causing it to shatter as if it were a hollow glass shell.

"And that's how the Angel crumbles," Misato said proudly. "Unfortunately due to the release of toxic gasses from the volcano eruption, the nearby hot springs are closed, but there's a very nice bathhouse nearby! My treat!" And she was met by several words of agreement.

….

"So did I forget to mention it was a mixed bath?" Misato asked with an embarrassed chuckle as Shinji and Asuka hid around the corner of the room.

"Yes!" Asuka shrieked. "Boys and Girls over 5 should not be bathing together!"

"It's fine. This is how it used to be anyway." Mary said. "It's traditional."

"Yeah it's old school," Isabelle said leaning back on the bathing pool's edge.

"Zer are topless beaches in France, so I am use to nudity," Adelise said happily kicking her feet in the water.

"And I just don't care," Mari said smiling. "Come on Queenie, I'll wash your back~"

"Friend Mari you are not helping," Rei responded dunking the poor girl's head under the water. "Please just come in," She said to the two. "We put our lives on the line for each other, there is no need to be prudish with each other's bodies, we are a single unit and we must act like it."

Shinji was the first to break away from the wal, clutching a tiny towel in front of him for that last scrap of modesty before sliding in. Asuka gave a final growl of anger before following behind him, keeping her body under the water to hide herself even after getting in.

"Told you you'd see my boobs eventually," Isabelle joked to Shinji punching his arm. "And don't be so embarrassed, we're all ok with you looking, well almost all of us," She said looking at Asuka, who being the mature child she was, responded by blowing a raspberry at Isabelle.

Mary's eyes drifted around lazily in the steaming air, eventually settling on a huge scar across Misato's chest, who was sitting opposite her. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours. The story of your scar, I mean." She said, correcting herself.

"Oh this old thing," Misato said touching the scar across her side. "It's something I got a long time ago," She said softly looking away at nothing.

"...I got one on my left cheek when a python bit me," Isabelle said recognizing the signs of PTSD in Misato's gaze. "Actually I got a lot more all over me," She added standing up. "This one's from a kangaroo, this one from a lionfish, this one from a black widow, dingo, dingo, dingo again, dingo for the fourth time, rockfall, landslides, falling from a tree, the bite of 87, the ice storm of 98, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, and finally this one from Sasquatch."

"Sasquatch?" Adelise asked confused.

"Well it was either Sasquatch or a very very hairy man, either way," Isabelle said shrugging.

"Oh ok, well I have this one," Adelise said raising her arm to show a silver dollar sized pucker of skin in her armpit. "I was messing around with a lamp and got burned by the light."

"Bike crash," Mari said raising her leg to show the gash in her calf. "Impaled myself of the frame, lucky it missed everything vital."

"Mine's a doozy. Got it from my first daydream." Mary said, rising out of the water and pointing to her right leg. Running long down her thigh was a huge line of knit together flesh that looked like it was putting two halves of a pattern that didn't line up together. "I started daydreaming while climbing a tree, I fell and sliced my thigh open on a branch. It went to the bone. I didn't realize what had happened until I woke up in the hospital. The rest of these are cooking burns, picking at scabs and cat scratches." She said, holding up her hands.

"Surgery," Rei said standing up to reveal the scar across her stomach right where her womb would be.

Asuka grumbled before sticking her arm out of the water to show show a pale red line running the length of the top of it. "I cut myself on a sharp piece of metal cleaning my hyperbass flute," She mumbled turning bright red.

"...and you own a hyperbase flue why?"

"Shut up that's why," Asuka snarked back pulling her arm back and hiding up to her nose in the water.

"I don't have any scars…" Shinji said, sliding into the water.

"It's ok," Misato said smiling. "We don't always bear our scars on the outside," she said touching Shinji's arm. "-But it doesn't make us any weaker," She smiled.

It took a second to process, but he felt happiness bloom across his heart. Before he knew it, they were all in a big family hug. To this day, it was unknown who started it.

We think it was Asuka.