Age 14
Niflheim
I wipe my nose off with the back of my wrist, the leather vambrace permanently stained with blood. Loki keeps a hand on my back, urging me forward.
"We're almost there, and then you can rest," he promises. He catches me as I stumble over the uneven ground. A torch goes out behind us, but it's all I can do to keep the vanguard light enough to see. A soldier complains from where my glow can't reach.
"Say that again and I'll toss you down a chasm," Thor shouts at them. The murmuring quiets. We're not quite a week into our quest, and we've already had to turn back. Once we got into the fog, we realized rather abruptly that I can't provide enough visibility for fifty men to see without passing out. So we're dropping most of them off back at the Bifrost site, and then pressing forward. First I have to make it there without dying.
Niflheim is quieter than Sakaar, but no less deadly. In most places the rivers are toxic, and much of the land is covered in a thick blanket of fog. We camp in small oases, unfortunately not the tropical tree kind, but they have clean water and edible plants. The one night so far that we had to camp without one was unpleasant. It'll only get worse the closer we get to our goal.
An hour or so later, we reach the Bifrost site. It's the only place Heimdall can reach us, due to Niflheim's unstable nature. It's also the only place the faint sunlight can reach. I lay in the dirt, my light cutting out. Loki sits beside me, watching as Thor directs men to redistribute supplies.
"You're doing great, Ally, it'll be easier now." I don't respond, I'm almost falling asleep. Loki lets me rest for a moment, but pulls me into a sitting position before I can actually drift off. He hands me a canteen. Water here tastes vaguely like sulfur, but we boil it before we drink it, and no one has gotten sick yet.
I do fall asleep sitting up, and when I wake I can tell it's been several hours. Loki hasn't moved though, and helps to steady me.
"I'm glad you got some rest," he tells me. "We're going to camp here for tonight and move out in the morning. We should be able to move faster now, and with a better sense of the terrain, the navigators think it'll only take a little over a month to get there." The last estimate was closer to two months.
"That's good." If the rest of the quest is gonna be this hard on me, better get it over with quick.
Two weeks later, I wish we would've just gone home.
The mist and fog grows progressively thicker, with less open spaces for my light to fill. I'm getting better at it, but Niflheim is more dangerous than we previously thought. Not that we knew it quite yet.
"I swear I heard something," I whisper to Loki. It's like footsteps almost, but far away and uneven.
"It's just the wind," he tells me. "We aren't into the fog enough yet, nothing can live here. There's still too much light." I make a mocking face that he can't see. The last couple weeks have been uneventful, but creepy. It's like we've been living the first five minutes of a scary movie, with all the suspense and none of the jumpscares.
We stop so the navigators can double check the landmarks. The land isn't barren, as the rolling fog suggests, there's mountains and valleys that we have to be careful of. There's life here, somewhere, plants that feed off of the fog and mist rather than sunlight. They're black twisted things, and they burn too quickly to use as firewood.
I drink some water, illuminating the map with my other hand. I called it flashlight duty once, and then had to explain to the Asgardians what a flashlight even was. I still thought it was funny.
I hear the sound again, closer this time. And judging by the shared worried looks of the navigators, I'm not the only one.
"We shouldn't be close enough for lifeforms, not even draugr," Inak says.
"Unless the gate's getting weaker," Marn replies. I don't know what they mean, but I trust them. Anyone who actually knows where they're going in this abyss of a place has my utmost respect.
"We should keep moving," Thor urges. "It's too early to camp." Inak plots a route and we start to head out. The footsteps continue around us, getting more frequent, but not closer. I push harder with my glow, hoping whatever it is will keep them at bay.
"What are draugr?" I ask Loki when he comes to stand at the front. He doesn't always walk by me, the rest of them rotate so they take turns in the back where it's darker.
"The main occupants of this realm, they're barely sentient." Loki sounds strange, on edge.
"So we don't have to worry about them?" I prod.
"You'll be safe should we encounter them."
"That's so comforting, thank you. I feel so safe. I'm so very secure here in dark and creepy fog world-"
"Alright, I get it. Ally, draugr aren't proper beings, they're generally created, not born." He looks over his shoulder. "Draugr is a general term for a body that's been reanimated through some kind of magical means."
I turn to look at him. "You mean a zombie. A magical zombie. We're surrounded by magical zombies."
"We're not surrounded," Loki is quick to argue. "And they're not zombies. Most of them can't even walk, especially not this variety. They're distressing to see, but I assure you you're safe."
"They don't want to eat my brain or something?" I ask.
Loki chuckles. "They're mindless, and unless they've been enchanted with a specific goal in mind, they won't attack anything with a light source. They won't eat your brain." I half suspect he's lying about that last part to comfort me, but I've decided I don't actually want to know. We keep marching forward.
We do well for another hour or so, but the sounds of footsteps aren't the only ones that plague us. Something bigger is dragging through the sand and rock. Faint moans are just audible, with no apparent cause. Shadows move, but never get close enough to see more then amorphous blobs.
The fear makes my light unsteady. It naturally looks like a campfire, but now it flickers wildly, like flames fighting fierce winds. I force it to be even, but the closer the sounds get, the more exhausted I am. I can barely keep the immediate area around us lit by the time we camp.
Inak and Marn have led us to a cave, easily defendable and closed off inside, so there's no eerie tunnels for zombies to sneak out of. Everyone pools the firewood they were able to find during the day, we'll need it for tonight. I sit up against the wall, making sure that everyone can see as they get the fire going. I might be able to get a couple extra hours of sleep, the cave will keep out the fog that normally kills the campfire.
We eat, and I've grown used to the tasteless army rations. They're sustaining, but bland and dry. I wash them down with the water that leaves a faint sulphur taste in my mouth. I wish I could brush my teeth.
I sit close to the fire, closer than even the Asgardians can handle. The light and the heat don't bother me, though I do have to fight the Flame's desire to stoke the fire and burn all the firewood. It's not happy with me for being used for light all day. It wants to destroy.
"We need to discuss what to do about the draugr," Thor says. His eyes keep flitting to the entrance of the cave, and he's not the only one. The threat has us all jumpy.
"Whatever is sourcing them has obviously increased since our preliminary expeditions," Marn notes. "I still maintain that it can't be sentient, these draugr are too mindless. If someone was enchanting them, they would've attacked us by now."
"Draugr don't have natural sources," argues Fandral. "They don't just grow from the ground."
"Niflheim doesn't follow the laws of other realms. Remember what else is here," Loki reminds. I give him a questioning look.
"Our path should take us well out of the way," Inak inputs. "We don't have to worry about the dangers of the gate."
"What gate?" I ask.
"The gate to Hel," Loki says after a moment. "It's sealed, but the main opening is here."
"Hel? First zombies, and now Hel?" I shake my head. "Did I miss a briefing meeting before we left or was no one going to tell me?"
"The draugr weren't supposed to be an issue," Thor explains. "And we weren't sure how far we'd get, even with your help." I throw up my hands, but don't say anything.
"I would argue they still aren't an issue," Marn says slowly. "They haven't attacked us and they might not. We'll quicken the pace, get to the plateau, and get out as fast as possible."
"Which was already the plan," Volstagg points out. "I'm already through with this blasted place."
"We'll still have to be careful." Loki is quick to advocate for caution. He likes that it makes it more surprising when he takes sudden (but calculated risks). "Ally's already being pushed hard, and if we lose her, not only will we be lost, but I'll hold each and every one of you responsible."
I blush deeply, grateful that I'm close enough to the fire that hopefully no one can tell. The conversation continues, but I start to unpack my bedroll. Inak, Marn, and Thor confer with the rest of our navigators to reroute and double check our path for tomorrow. I lay down, wincing as overworked muscles protest the hard ground.
"How are you feeling?" Loki asks me. "You did well today, I know it was uncomfortable."
"I'm fine, Mom," I grumble. I don't like being babied, and I'm still peeved that this mission includes freaking zombies and no one thought to tell me. "Actually, can you check my closet for monsters? In case there's zombies or werewolves or trolls hiding in there?"
"Ally, I'm sorry we didn't tell you. We truly thought it wouldn't be an issue."
I sit up and glower at him. "No. Don't treat me like a kid when I'm doing the actual hardest job here. You didn't tell me because you were afraid I'd refuse to come." Loki tries to but in, but I don't let him.
"You think I haven't faced monsters? What the Hel did you think I was doing before you took me from Eldmara?" I know he knows, I told him during training. The very first week, when I was scared to use my powers.
"You're right," Loki concedes. "We didn't take that into account. I'm sorry. I- Ultimately it was my father's choice."
"Of course it was." I accepted long ago that the King of Asgard wasn't fond of me, but this feels more like an excuse. Loki is sorry, sure, but he doesn't want to take responsibility.
"You should get some rest."
"I was trying to, thanks." I can't resist flopping back on my bedroll dramatically and turning away from him. It aggravates my incredibly sore muscles, but it's totally worth it.
I fall asleep quickly, I rarely have trouble getting to sleep. My healing power that allows me to hold the Flame can only do so much, and sleeping helps repair the damage. It doesn't mean my sleep is entirely restful. I dream I'm back on Sakaar, fighting in the ring, but this time all of my opponents are zombies. Eldmara and Odin are above me, laughing as I struggle to stay alive.
When I'm woken for my shift on watch, the fire is low, running out of wood to burn. I stay near it, sustaining it some. It's dark and I can't see very far outside the mouth of the cave. It was definitely less creepy to keep watch when I didn't think anything was actually out there.
Eventually, the land begins to brighten just a little, the darkest part of the night has passed. I'll get a couple more hours of sleep before the fire goes out completely, and then it's back to trekking through the wasteland… full of zombies.
But first I have to wake Loki, he always takes the shift after me. On the few nights I can't go back to sleep, he keeps me company, telling stories or teaching me about magic while he keeps watch.
Tonight though, I'm not in the mood to talk. I shake his shoulder, give him a brief report of my watch, and lay back down on my bedroll. He doesn't push, but as I start to drift off, he does whisper softly, just barely audible over the sound of Thor snoring.
"I am sorry we didn't tell you. But I will keep you safe, Ally, I promise."
The fog is heavy when I wake again, it always is in the morning. The fire is dead, but only recently burnt out. I can't have slept for more than a couple extra hours. Every minute counts though.
We're oddly quiet as we prepare, all likely sharing the same hope that keeping quiet will allow us to stay hidden. We eat, we pack, and move out in almost complete silence. Inak, Loki, and I take point, and the others fall in behind us.
It isn't long before we hear the draugr again, and they get closer much sooner than before. The fog hides detail, but it's clear to see that they're people shaped now. The fog doesn't impede the moans and gravelly tones that sound straight out of a horror movie.
"They won't come closer," Loki whispers after we pass a particularly loud group in the distance. "They don't like the light." I'm inclined to believe him, so far none of them have followed us, but I'm still bitter about last night so I don't say anything.
Turns out I'm right to be suspicious. An hour later, our route becomes eerily silent. We still see the shapes of draugr around us, but they make no sound or movement. The fog swirls around them, still as statues, sending chills down my back. It thickens and thins without warning, and I push against it, glowing brighter. We press onward in tight formation, all trying to be close enough to me to see.
We should've spread out. As the fog thins, a scream sounds, and I see my first draugr clearly as its teeth tear through the Marn's neck as he brings up the rear. He chokes on his own blood as he falls. I stumble backwards, mouth agape in horror.
"At arms!" Thor shouts.
I draw my sword with a shaky arm, and hold it before me in an unsure grip. The fog dissipates further, exposing more and more grisly corpses. Grey and emotionless, with skin missing in patches and limbs that jerk unnaturally, they advance. We meet them blow to blow, against weapons long rusted and rarely whole. They aren't the most skilled of fighters, but any wound I land receives no reaction. They don't feel pain.
I force myself to focus, dropping several, but they keep swarming, creating space between the group and forcing us apart. I struggle to hold to my sword forms, and cry out as I fail to deflect all of the attacks. When I can no longer see my companions, the fighting shifts. I engage a draugr that's faster than the others, wielding an intricately carved staff. He's the first to show even a hint of emotion, I can see traces of anger in his clouded eyes.
He continues to press me, and the others don't stop attacking. They're trying to overwhelm me, and it takes everything I have to keep everyone at bay. The far off sounds of my friends are hard to make out. The angry one grabs my blade with his bare hand, twisting it so I get locked in a hold with his staff. We grapple, and I pull as hard as I can, hoping I can get my sword free.
Instead it snaps. Right in half, like a toothpick. The momentum pushes me back. I fight hand to hand, but I can't reach my other weapons as decaying hands immobilize me. Finally, someone's battlefield cry reaches me.
"Fire!"
Right, duh.
I ignite my hands, but hesitate at the face of my attacker. The anger is still there, but I can't determine if there's fear beside it. I'm filled with images of Sakaar, of bodies burning because of me.
"Ally!"
I thrust my arm in front of me, and the assailant takes the brunt of my first attack. I hope that Loki is right, that they're just bodies. But as the fire spreads quickly, it adds to the macabre scene as rotting flesh is consumed. As I get a moment to catch my breath, the stench hits me. Putrid and thick, like a portapotty left to rot and then set on fire.
I hurry to get out of the smoke, dodging draugr as they reach for me in desperation. They are as silent in death as they were in battle. I pass piles of corpses, the dead undead, both burnt and defeated. Only members of our company remain standing, and I'm one of the last to make it to them.
It isn't until Sif stops me that I realize I've been running. There's tears and panic on my face, though I hadn't registered much of either in the battle. I don't belief Sif when she tells me it's over, or Loki when he pulls me from her.
Unfortunately for them, I'm right.
"We need to move!" Inak announces. "The fire is dying out, but there's more draugr on the edges. They'll wait to attack."
"We can't take the eastern pass anymore," Thor says grimly. "They've cut us off there too."
"Then we're surrounded." Inak doesn't have to pull out a map to prove it. "Except for the cliffs."
"We'll have to do a skiff maneuver," Loki inputs. "Scout it, find a landing, we'll have Ally go first."
Thor argues, "She'll have to go later, I won't be able to see if she's on the ground." He flies away, but my eyes are still on the massacre behind us
"Ally, I need you to focus." I face Loki, but I don't understand what's going on. "When it's your turn, you need to level out, like you're lying on your stomach."
"What?"
"Thor will catch you, but you have to give him enough time." I look past him, trying to make sense of his words. I see that several members of the group have disappeared, and then I see why.
They're jumping off the cliff.
"Nononononononononono." The words can't come out of my mouth fast enough. "I'm not doing that, I'll fight my way out." I turn back to the draugr, intending to do just that.
"Ally, you can't, there's too many of them."
"I'm not jumping off a cliff!" I hiss. "This is like peer pressure lesson number one."
"We don't have time to argue this-" Loki drags me back as the last fires die out, and the waiting enemies start to enclose us.
"I'm sorry," Loki tells me, still holding onto my collar. "You'll be fine, I promise."
"What are you sorry- No!" Picking me up by my collar and by my belt, Loki launches me into the air. I scream, flailing and immediately forgetting everything I was told.
I'm gonna die.
Something hits me in midair, and my descent slows. It's not until I'm on the ground that I realize it's Thor, and he flies off to catch someone else. My heart pounds in my chest, and I take one step toward where the others are gathering and promptly fall to the ground. I still feel like I'm falling. The drab gravel beneath me spins, and though I can feel its support, it does nothing to quell absolute panic of being thrown off a cliff.
"Come on, we have to move." It's Loki, he must have made it down. I look up at him, but I must look dazed because he just sighs and leans down to help me up. After an impatient moment on shaky legs, he decides to carry me over his shoulder.
We move quickly and cautiously, or at least, that's what I assume after coming out of the shock a little. We don't want to run into any draugr. Those images repeat in my head, mingling with the panic of falling through the air. My stomach twists and my head still spins
I'm not sure how much time has passed, which is typical for Niflheim, but today is extra distressing. I want to stop and rest. Finally, we stop, and Loki sets me down on the ground.
"How do you feel?" he asks, rummaging in my pack for my canteen.
"Like I got thrown off a cliff," I retort, but it's lacking my usual sarcasm. I accept the water, drinking slowly. The taste of sulfur doesn't help my stomach, but dehydration is always my biggest problem.
"I'm sorry, we needed a quick evac." He looks me over for injuries, looking concerned. I continue to sip my water. "You don't look like you were thrown off a cliff," he teases gently. "Or like you fought one of the realm's greatest dangers."
I give him a slight smirk, and I'm surprised at the relief I see in his face. I realize how it must look, freaking out like this. Without me, we can't even make it back to the Bifrost site. We'd be stranded here. I have to pull it together.
"Are we camping here?" I ask, taking a deep breath.
Loki shakes his head. "No, we can't. It's late, but we're going to have to keep pushing. Our detour has led us too close to the gate."
"Of Hel?" I clarify. He nods. "Great."
"Are you up for it?" I'm not sure why he asks, it's not like I have much of a choice.
"I'll be okay." I offer a half smile.
"Take another minute, then we'll have to move out." I finish my canteen, and move to pack it away, but Loki takes it, handing me another one. I drink it too, feeling my stomach start to settle.
"We need to go," Inak calls out, taking his usual lead. I look for Marn, until I remember he was the first one to fall to the draugr. He's not the only we're one missing. Someone else takes his position as the first person watching our backs.
We walk in silence. We always walk in silence, but it's different now. Our every step is hesitant, every ear is listening. But it's more than that. The fog is still, no longer swirling, though I still have to push against it with my light. As I watch, the Flame itself barely flickers, for once a steady light. Despite the increased visibility, it sets me on edge.
I notice that we're in a canyon of sorts, being funneled toward one narrow chasm. I also see why we can't have Thor fly us up, these cliffs are steeper than the one we jumped off of, and even with my light, there's no way to find the top. It adds to the dead atmosphere to know that there's only one way out of this.
Inak and I spot the gate from our vantage point in the front. Towering and inky black, it doesn't reach the top of the canyon, but it's almost as tall as the Asgardian palace. As we approach, I notice that it's wrapped in chains. Thousands of them, different sizes and metals, with no visible locks. A few lay broken on the ground, and I can barely make out the seam where two doors meet.
"We need to move quickly," Inak tells us. "We can't linger near the gate." I nod, and the orders make their way back to the rest of the group. We increase the pace. I soon see why.
At the bottom of the gate, the doors have been bent open, just barely enough for someone to crawl through. It oozes fog, just faint wisps that curl out a few feet and then stills. There's something else about it, like the gate is looking at me. That tension lessens just slightly as one of the chains snaps and crashes to the floor, a metallic ring echoing off the canyon walls.
"Run," Inak yells, and we spring into motion, moving to put as much distance between us and the gate as possible. The clang resounds around us for a moment more, then quiets, leaving only a faint ringing. But we keep running.
I'm quickly outpaced, falling to the middle of the group and then closer to the back. It isn't just the Asgardian stamina, but their height and freakishly long legs. Hopefully I'll hit a growth spurt soon, if only so I can keep up.
When I hit the rearguard, Loki calls for us to slow. We still move quickly, but lucky for me, I can't be left behind. Everyone needs to see after, and I'm too tired to glow as brightly as I have been all day. The canyon widens, and eventually we find a break low enough to hike out of. Or mostly out of. My light grows dim, and we stop at the first cave that can provide adequate shelter.
We quickly run into another problem, the fact that in the commotion, we haven't collected any wood. No fire tonight. It's decided quickly we'll have to make do with what light I give off while I sleep. If we're going to find our way back to where we need to be, I have to rest.
I'm out as soon as I rehydrate, basically collapsing from exhaustion. I'm especially hard to wake for my night watch, but eventually I sit up and stare out into the chasm, listening for any sign of danger.
Inevitably, I think about the day. The draugr, emotionless but so violent. The cliff, the feeling of certain doom. The gate, with its chains and that presence I can't explain.
By the time I wake Loki up for his shift, I'm thoroughly spooked again. I report that it's been quiet and try to go back to sleep, but after at least a half an hour of tossing and turning, I sit up and scoot closer to Loki.
"I can't sleep," I tell him, a little ashamed. Though it's not the first time I've stayed up during his watch, it's the first time I feel like a little kid, too scared to go to sleep because of the monsters under the bed. "I keep thinking about the draugr."
Loki deliberates for a moment before speaking. "I am sorry you had to see that. We shouldn't have gotten ambushed."
"But we did," I point out, frustrated. "Stop apologizing. Saying sorry isn't going to help Marn, or anyone else we lost. You should have told me from the beginning, I could've been more prepared."
"You got us out," Loki countered. "Without your flames we would've fallen."
"That's just it!" I turn to him, making him see how much distress is in my face. "I have to fight the fog every day, I have to make sure we don't die when it's dark and creepy, I'm the only thing that really made a difference against a pack of zombies! You expect so much from me, but you don't actually trust me enough to warn me about what's going on! I almost couldn't do it. I hesitated lighting those things on fire. They fought just enough like people to throw me off."
"Ally-"
"No! I was barely able to do what I did. What would've happened if you never told me? What if I thought they were real people? You think I'm capable of that? Even if I am, it could've taken me too long. We could've lost everyone today." I wipe tears off my face, frustrated.
Loki places a tentative hand on my back. "You're right. I acted in error and I hid behind Odin's excuse. I was wrong."
I wait from the apology, but it doesn't come, even though I know he's being contrite. I nod slowly.
"There's nothing else we're keeping from you, Ally, I swear it. The draugr, the gate, those were our concerns. You know everything else that I know about the mission."
"Okay."
"And I meant what I said," Loki adds. "I will keep you safe. Even if it means throwing you off a cliff."
I shoot him a glare. "Only if I get to push you off one too," I grumble, staring back out into the chasm. Loki just smiles, and we keep watch as the blanket of darkness lifts ever so slightly.