Sekhmet: Angel Fun Facts Time! Sahaquiel is the Jewish Angel that guards the Fourth Heaven. What that has to do with the episode, I'm not sure. Also I missed Ramiel (Spelled Remiel or possibly Raziel on Wikipedia), who doesn't have a concrete purpose and is either ascribed as a general Christian Archangel as Remiel, or if spelled Raziel, is the Jewish Angel that is the Keeper of Secrets.
Susano-o: The rebuild version was cooler.
Sekhmet: Yes, but the moving core was a dick move. Plus describing that thing would have given readers a seizure. And yes I see the irony.
Susano-o: -But the rebuild version also gave us weird running EVA's.
Sekhmet: We still had that though.
Susano-o: Eh, also this is the episode of the show where Asuka makes a turn to finally becoming a nice person, lines up perfectly with what happens in the movies...and then both fuck it up!
Sekhmet: And we won't be making the same mistakes.
Susano-o: Nope, we have plenty of ship bait to stop it.
Sekhmet: Ah yes, the ship bait. I bet none of you will guess the final pairing.
Susano-o: Yeah we were as subtle as Gendo's love for Shinji about them (Nonexistent).
Sekhmet: Well anyway, let's do this.
Chapter 13: The Tenth Angel, Sahaquiel
"This is a bad idea," Rei said as she was forced into an apron and given a spatula. "This is a very bad idea."
"Come on, cooking isn't that hard if you know what you're doing. Think of it like chemistry." Mary said.
"Chemistry doesn't involve me touching a stove," Rei responded staring at the stove like it was going to bite her.
"No, but cooking and chemistry are similar." Shinji agreed. "You're taking components and adding heat to them to see what happens. Don't worry, we're not going to throw you into the deep end right away."
"The very fact that I am standing here is as deep as the Mariana Trench," Rei deadpanned.
"It'll be ok, trust me. Stir fry is one of the simplest dishes you can make." Shinji insisted. "You can't possibly mess it up."
Rei said nothing, but was practically forced forward by Mary to stand beside Shinji at the stove.
"Alright, so first you want to oil your pan…"
…..
"How the hell did this happen!?" Misato screamed as she watched the fire department rush around to stop her blazing kitchen.
"I told you this would happen," Rei deadpanned still holding her burnt spatula.
"Everything was going so well…" Mary said, her thousand yard stare boring into the floorboards.
"You didn't even get past step one!" Asuka screamed. "She oiled the pan and the entire stove went up in flames! How do you even do that?!"
"All my beer!" Misato wailed stamping her foot as Pen-Pen patted her leg in sympathy.
"It's like a curse. How do you eat if you can't make food!" Mari asked.
"That's wasn't food, that was an insult to cooking." Adelise said.
"Hey we have a bigger problem everyone," Mari interrupted looking up at the blazing building. "It spread to the rest of our apartments, so where are we gonna sleep tonight?"
...
"Ok this is not what I meant by sleeping pile," Isabelle snarked as she tried to adjust without disturbing Rei who was laying on her chest as the two tried to get comfy in the exposed trunk of Misato's car. "Good thing the back seats fold down."
"Yes, it is quite convenient." Adelise said, clutching Pen Pen in her arms as they relaxed across the back seats, even with all the headrests invading their space.
"I hate this," Asuka growled as Mari spooned her from behind in the driver seat they were sharing .
"Aww? You hate cuddling with me?" Mari cooed with a mock pout, Asuka's face flushed red. "Not that part," She mumbled. "The fact we have to stay in this car at all."
"It could be worse." Mary muttered. For causing this mess, she and Shinji has been banished to the foot space in the backseat, and shoving in there meant they were crushed uncomfortably close to each other.
"How?" Rei asked unamused about her banishment to the trunk for her actions in this.
"Could be sleeping in cardboard boxes. I did that for a school fundraiser once, wasn't fun." Mary replied.
"I slept in a beaver den once," Isabelle added. "It was pretty warm, not as warm as a bear den but pretty warm."
"Sometimes I swear you are making some of these up Nature Girl," Asuka said rolling her eyes.
"I-in any case, we should probably get to sleep…" Shinji stammered, not comfortable with the closeness he was sharing with another person.
"Yes you two have a big day tomorrow cleaning out everything that was burned in the kitchen," Misato said darkly from her spot relaxing in the passenger seat with the seat all the way down, crushing the two even more.
"I'm gonna die in here…" Mary grunted.
"You'd better not because I will resurrect you to make sure you do your job," Misato said with a slasher smile.
With that wholly unnerving thought, the children found it even more difficult to get to sleep that night.
…
"What happened?!" Toji shouted as he came upon the burnt remains of Misato's front door.
"The wonder twins decided to try their hands at making Wondergirl cook against her wishes," Asuka grumbled as she helped iron everyone's work/school clothes. "You can see how well that worked."
"I didn't know!" Mary said.
"I told you," Rei said from the bathroom. "Please keep it down, Misato is having a funeral for her alcoholic drinks in here."
Mary grumbled something indiscernible under her breath and went back to work.
"Umm so Shinji you guys want to walk to school?" Kensuke asked rubbing the back of his head.
"Yeah, that would be great." Shinji sighed, really he was just relieved to be out of their past sleeping positions.
…
"What's a seven letter word for purse?" Adelise whispered. She was tapping a pencil to a crossword she had gotten out of a newspaper.
"Satchel." Asuka said.
"No, starts with an H." Adelise replied.
"Handbag?" Shinji offered.
Adelise scribbled the word in. "Ah, thank you." She nodded. "What about a five letter word for a Stonehenge worshipper?"
"Druid." Mari said.
"Thank you." Adelise replied, scribbling the word in.
"Friends you may want to pay attention," Rei whispered. "This may be on the test."
"Rei, I don't think there's gonna be a test. We've been in school for two months and it's the same exact lesson every day." Mary said. "Besides, we're doing an experiment. It's plenty educational."
"What type of experiment friend Mary?" Rei asked looking over the other girls shoulder, ignorant of the fact her standing up to do this had distracted everyone more than the original four.
"The entire school year has been the same lecture on Second Impact for two months, with very little variation. The hypothesis is twofold: Will the lesson ever change, and if it doesn't, how much can we as students get away with in the meantime?" Mary explained. She moved her small list of recorded daydream triggers on her desk to uncover a set of events written out. "The crossword puzzle is only the first of many trials."
Rei blinked and started reading over Mary's notes, seemingly fascinated with her results. Indeed, it was starting off small, the crossword puzzle, moving objects around before class started, things like that. But as they progressed, the events got more and more elaborate, ultimately escalating into a full on prank war if the threshold for disturbance hadn't been breached yet.
Before she could read everything though, the klaxon Angel alarm went off, accompanied by evacuation warnings.
"That would be our cue." Adelise said, putting her things away.
"Move it or lose it assholes we got a planet to save!" Isabelle ordered before running over to open the window.
"No Isabelle we're on the second floor!" Shinji warned.
"No time!" Isabelle yelled.
"It's an extra four minutes!" Asuka shouted grabbing her around the waist and picking her up. "Wondergirl hold this."
"Holding," Rei said grabbing Isabelle and holding her above her head as the ran down the stairs to where Section-2 was waiting for them.
…
"You want us to catch it?!" Asuka balked.
"Yep," Misatio said nervously.
"And this is the ONLY way to stop it?"
"It's the best plan the MAGI could come up with," Ritsuko said.
The children looked between each other, a mix of confusion and dread being conveyed.
"Oh, why not? We've done better with worse odds." Adelise said.
"Living like Larry," Isabelle agreed.
"I've got nothing better to do," Mari shrugged. "Either it works and we live, or it doesn't and it's a quick death for the human race, win win."
"I'm fine with it." Mary agreed.
"Oh alright. But only because it's a quick death if we fail." Asuka said.
"...ok." Shinji agreed.
"If my friends are doing it then I will too," Rei said.
"Isn't that the definition of peer pressure?" Ritsuko muttered but was shushed by Misato.
"Ok everyone," Misato said nodding. "First things first, you need to fill out your wills."
"Yeah sure just hand me the paper," Isabelle said grabbing the copy and running over to a nearby desk. Mary also took one and followed.
"I don't need to." Asuka said. "I know we'll win."
"I don't need one either." Shinji said, a lot less confidently than Asuka.
"I know we will succeed," Rei said in her usual tone. "So writing one is not necessary."
"It's like admitting defeat," Mari agreed.
"I have already died." Adelise said.
"No you haven't," Misato sighed but gave her a smile and a shake of her head.
Over at the desk, Mary had almost finished. In addition to a heartfelt letter to her father and a small note to her mother that she barely knew, she had added that if the one possession that she cared enough to pass on, her Walkman and tapes, should survive Third Impact, they should be shared with any humans that remained. Not because she thought of herself as a genius I any capacity, but because music has a profound impact on morale, and brings hope to even the darkest times.
"...and done." Mary said, setting down her pencil.
"And finally fuck you forever dad," Isabelle snarled as she finished her angry rant by slamming down her pen, attracting everyone's attention.
"You ok there Nature girl?" Asuka asked.
Isabelle let out a long breath. "No," She said with a small smile. "-But I will be."
"Are you sure? You don't look like you'll be fine." Adelise said, concern all over her face.
"Like I said, I will be," Isabelle sighed looking down. "It's just, my dad hasn't talked to me since I was in the hospital."
"What? Why?" Asuka asked incredulously.
"I don't know," Isabelle said covering her face as her shoulder's started to shake. "We were so close, but now he's ignoring me."
"How? I call the office all the time to talk to my dad, apparently the workload isn't so bad when you have a bunch of people working on it…" Mary mentioned.
Asuka looked off to the side, her eyes drifting around like she was having war flashbacks. Soon after, in a somewhat unexpected move, she walked over and started hugging Isabelle. Isabelle let out a louder sob as she buried her face in Asuka's chest.
Rei was practically a blur as she grabbed Isabelle from behind to sandwich her between her and Asuka. "It will be ok best friend Isabelle," She said calmly.
"Yeah man." Mary said, latching onto the fast accumulating group hug. "We're gonna catch this Angel so good."
Misato grabbed Isabelle close. "If you guys win I'm taking you all out for a nice dinner," She said smiling. Shinji, Adelise and Mari joined the group hug silently.
…
"Ok everyone," Misato said gulping as she watched everyone get into position. "Touchdown in two minutes."
"Got it. Man, if I survive this, I'm planting those pits. It'll be a waste otherwise." Mary said.
"I'm gonna buy that land," Mari quipped.
"I will start my modeling career!" Adelise said smiling.
"I'll probably start teaching." Asuka said.
"I...don't know what I'm going to do." Shinji admitted.
"Imma hunt the Behemoth," Isabelle shrugged.
"The earth beast of Jewish folklore?" Adelise asked.
"Yep, actually all three beasts."
"I don't think those exist." Mary said.
"Yes they do," Isabelle insisted. "I had an encounter with the Ziz in the Sahara, but that may have been the cactus juice too..."
"Time's up! Three, two, one, go!" Misato ordered ejecting their umbilical plugs.
(Pepsiman theme - watch?v=z54MpfR3XE4)
"Check this one!" Isabelle screamed flicking on her stereo as she fired the jets of the S-Type equipment she 'borrowed' to send her flying forward at mach speed, shattering the sound barrier as she ran at lightning speed. "PEPSIMAN!" She screamed in time with the song.
The other pilots bolted ahead, converging on a designated point. Within a few seconds, a giant Angel, shaped like an eye with two hands and colored hazard orange, appeared in the sky. The wind ripped around it as it plummeted at terminal velocity towards the Earth.
"Shit shit piss it's moving!" Isabelle screamed firing her jets again to get under it. "AT-Field MAX power!" She roared throwing her AT-Field up at it.
The two fields collided in an aurora of light and screeching sounds intermixed with Isabelle's screams of pain as she bore the brunt of the impact on her own.
"Max power!" Mary and Adelise shouted simultaneously, arriving at the site and throwing up their fields. "Somebody stab this thing!" Mary yelled.
"We got it!" Mari and Asuka yelled driving their prog knives at the core, only to bounce off the AT-fiend.
"The fields not down!" Asuka screamed.
"Don't fear why?" Rei said as her and Shinji together reached up and tore the AT-Field open. "Because we are here."
"Don't worry about us!" Shinji groaned with a smile. "Just kill the damn thing!"
Asuka and Mari stabbed the Angel again, practically gutting it and slicing its core in two. With a gush of blood, it stiffened, then went limp, losing all momentum in the process before exploding in a shower of its own blood.
"Well that was fun," Isabelle said sighing in relief. "Time for the pile."
And with that the EVA's powered down, crashing again into a large heap on the ground.
"And time for me to start looking for a place to plant those pits." Mary said.
"At least this won't happen again," Asuka muttered not even bothering to complain at this point. "Rule of three and all that."
"Friend Asuka I believe that only applies to writing, not real life," Rei responded.
"Yes, and now you've jinxed it into happening at least one more time." Adelise said. "Oh well I like the pile," She added gigging.
"I just like Asuka being on top~" Mari cooed. Asuka again just sighed and let it slide.
"So umm, should we get out now?" Shinji asked.
"No!" Asuka shouted then eeped and covered her mouth.
"AWWW Queenie likes the pile!" Mari yelled giggling.
"Adorable!" Adelise yelled clapping and smiling as Asuka's face turned as red as her suit.
"Ehh, let's wait till they come get us." Mary said. She didn't want anyone to know she actually enjoyed that Shinji was on top of her, so she didn't say anything else.