Sekhmet: Boy. That escalated quickly. And I'm not just memeing here, I actually mean it. Happy new year by the way, the holidays tied us up, that's why there was no chapter last week.

Susano-o: Even in the show this was a giant left field turn, holy fuck how can people defend Gendo Ikari with a straight face.

Sekhmet: And to think we're in charge of fixing this mess, Christ.

Susano-o: Well 1 vs 7 in a rebellion will do a lot more. VIVA LA EVALUTION!

Sekhmet: VIVA LA PILOTS!

Chapter 15: The Thirteenth Angel, Bardiel

"Holy piss," Isabelle whispered as she watched the two EVAs crawl out of the black sphere like two demons crawling out of the bowels of Hell itself.

"Well at least they're ok and it's dead…" Mary said, her tone conveyed that she was utterly disturbed.

"W-What was that thing…." Asuka whispered. "What are the EVA's…."

"They are the only beings that can destroy the Angels," Rei answered not taking her eyes off the screen. "That's all you need to know."

"...Damn," Mari said grabbing Asuka's hand and squeezing, Asuka returned the squeeze harder.

"Get the retrieval team stat!" Misato screamed getting everyone back in gear. "You five get changed quick if you want to see them before they're admitted into the emergency room!"

Mary immediately started scrambling to go get changed, literally clawing at pavement as she turned on her feet. The rest followed just as fast once the order hit them, with Rei almost looking like she was gliding over the floor she was going so fast.

…

Mary, having run out of breath running there, knelt as she clutched Shinji's hand. It looked more like she was paying tribute to a mob boss than showing relief her friend was alive, but the sentiment was there.

"Move it people!" Asuka screamed shoving section 2 workers out of her way. "Get out of our damn way!" She shouted making a path for the rest of the group to get to them. "You two idiots!" She shouted at Shinji and Adelise as tears and snot dripped down her face. "If you ever pull a stunt like that again I will drown you in LCL!"

"Oh, it was nothing madame Asuka…" Adelaide said, although her tone wasn't convincing.

"It was awful!" Asuka screamed. "We thought you both had died!" She sobbed.

"Ok ok, we won't…" Shinji croaked.

"We mean it. No more self sacrifice." Mary said. "No pilot will be left behind."

Asuka grabbed Shinji in an unexpected hug. "Don't throw your life away before we get to live it," She sobbed. "We're gonna beat the damn things and then you WILL open that bakery!"

"Ack! Asuka you're crushing me-!" Shinji said through the bone crushing hug. When she let him go, he sighed. "I really do mean it."

"Oui, me too." Adelaide agreed.

Rei could see the doctors getting anxious so she quickly pulled everyone together into a group hug/huddle. "When you two get out...we have much to talk about," She said vaguely. "I will find us a suitable spot and descritely pass you the coordinates soon."

"Uh, ok." Shinji said, very confused. Adelise had a sort of worried and confused look on her face but didn't say anything.

"You ok Blue?" Isabelle asked.

"No," Rei responded. "No Best Friend Isabelle I am not ok...and after what I tell you...I don't think any of you will be ok with me either," She said before standing up and disengaging from the group.

"...Right…" Mary said.

"Blue?" Isabelle said worriedly as she watched Rei walk away and disappear into the crowd of doctors and nurses before she could catch her. "Damn it," She hissed as Shinji and Adelise were carted off, leaving the rest of them alone in the hall.

….

The mood of the four remaining pilots was dour as they lounged around the apartment together, Asuka comendered the TV as she leaned back against Mari, not cuddling her as she inistend multiple times, while the taller girl fiddled around with her own handheld game. Isabelle was making a pillow fort for the inevitable sleepover they would be having when their missing members returned. Mary was sprawled out on the floor, resting her eyes and draping her arm over her face.

"I won!" Mari giggled as she jumped up excitedly, sending Asuka sprawling onto the floor and causing her to lose.

"Damn it Mari!" Asuka shouted. "It took me hours to get there!" She whined grabbing Mari's game. "And yours isn't even on!"

"Oh no the batteries died like an hour ago," Mari answered. "-But someone had to break the tension before Misato tried cutting it up and cooking it."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Asuka shouted before giving her a grumbling hug. "-But...thank you…." She mumbled, Mari just cat smirked and hugged her back.

"Yeah thanks, I've been dying over here but didn't know what to say." Mary agreed.

"I was about to retreat into my den like a snake," Isabelle sighed in relief.

"Can I get in on that?" Mary asked.

"Sure," Isabelle said opening the flap. Mary crawled into the fort and curled up inside.

"This is my home now." Mary said, clutching an unused pillow to herself like another body. Isabelle just sighed and joined her inside to be her pillow.

"Well what do we do now," Asuka asked grumbling. "I'm sick of waiting around."

"Maybe we should go visit them?" Isabelle suggested.

"Hell, lets just camp out there. We visit them so much we might as well." Mary said.

"...Fuck that's a good idea," Asuka mumbled. "Mari get packing!"

"Yes Queenie~" Mari said happily leaving the room. Mary scrambled out of the fort like a demon to get packed. Isabelle followed leaving Asuka to clean the living room, leave stuff for Pen-Pen, pack Mistao a bag, then run outside to meet the others.

…..

"We're here!" Asuka shouted slamming open the door.

"We're queer!" Mari responded dragging a giant bag in.

"And I brought beer!" Isabelle finished carrying in a few cases under her arms.

"So have no fear!" Mary finished,

"Uh, right." Shinji said with a light laugh.

"Oh, wonderful!" Adelise said.

"Yep!" Asuka said smiling. "Mari and Mary get that bed set up stat! Isabelle I want food and drinks! I'll start running the cable wires!"

It was a blink and you miss it series of events as Mary and Mari set up a bed, Isabelle set up a veritable buffet of snackage, and Asuka had cables strewn across the floor.

"Drinks are on!" Isabelle said pouring out a few drinks. "Non-alcoholic because this place is a buzzkill," She mumbled.

"Bed couch is up!" Mary said, clunking the last support in place.

"And I have cable," Asuka said proudly as she turned it onto the movie channel. "Now let's wait for Misato."

"Who is already here," Misato said from the doorway, taking in the scene in front of her with a sigh. "You do know they were only going to be here one night right?"

"Doesn't matter, had fun." Mary said with a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, it was a really nice thing to do…" Shinji said, rubbing the back of his head.

"We are Groot," Isabelle said grabbing Adeliese and giving Misato the double puppy dog eyes.

Misato's face pinched before finally sighing and taking her bag to get changed. "I hate how easy you all manipulate me…" She mumbled.

"It is because we are cute." Adelise said with cheer.

….

Rei blinked as she stopped her slinking. "What is this," She mumbled clutching her chest. "What is this feeling…" She mumbled falling to her knees. "I-It feels...awful…" She groaned rocking back and forth. "I-I haven't felt like this since….I need to keep moving," She hissed standing up and walking again.

….

"10/10 best fight scene ever," Mari laughed rolling around on the floor.

"Brick is clearly a model fighter." Mary agreed, laughing so hard she was coughing.

"I don't understand, I thought Brick was stupid." Adelise said.

"That's what makes it funny." Mary wheezed.

Misato giggled as she leaned back on the couch. "God I haven't seen this movie since college."

"So like five years ago?" Isabelle joked.

"Aww you flatterer you," Misato chuckled putting her in a headlock.

"Oww! Ok ok uncle mom!" Isabelle shouted laughing her head off.

"All the weaknesses in the world, and it turns out to be a headlock." Adelise giggled.

"Hey she's got strong arms!" Isabelle protested. "It's like a vice!" The gang laughed in chorus.

"Mom, can you pass the popcorn up here?" Mary said with tease in her voice.

Misato smirked and grabbed the bowl. "Sure daughter of mine~" She said teasing. Mary laughed and propped the bowl between her and Shinji.

"You're all so sweet it's sickening," Asuka snorted as her and Mari broke another chocolate bar to share.

"Let's not call the pot a kettle." Adelise said, bemused. Asuka just glared back.

"Ok you all it's bedtime," Misato said clapping her hands. "Come on, big day tomorrow with Unit-03 coming in."

"Oh right! Did they pick a pilot yet?" Shinji asked.

"Yep, but it's a surprise," Misato said with a wink. A chorus of whines followed.

"Come on mom, secrets suck!" Mary whined.

"Secrets are fun," Misato chuckled. "At least for me." Another chorus of whining but no further objections followed.

...

"They're being pretty vague about what we're intercepting. It better not be another Sahaquiel." Mary said, suiting up.

"Yeah…" Isabelle said not really paying attention as she was looking over at Rei. "Hey Blue, you missed a fun party last night…" She said sadly.

"Yes, there was snacks and laughter and a man wading through a crowd with a hand grenade." Adelise added.

Rei blinked. "I...apologize…?" She said confused. "I have found us a place to meet."

"That's great. When are you telling us where it is?" Shinji asked.

"After the battle," Rei said. "When we are being picked up, no cameras."

"Alright, we'll see you then." Mary said, pressurizing herself.

"...Yes," Rei said leaving the room.

….

"Where is the target?" Asuka asked as they stood in the forest staring at the sunset.

"Have not seen it yet…" Adelise said.

"Wait, what's that on the horizon?" Mary asked, pointing. From her position, she saw a giant humanoid figure, lumbering towards them. It was...familiar. "...Is that another EVA?" She asked, dread filling her voice.

"You sons of bitches!" Asuka screamed as the designation of the 13th angel came through the coms. "You didn't tell us to save face!" She roared charging at the EVA with her prog spear.

"We need to get the pilot out!" Shinji realized as he watched Asuka battle Unit-3. "If they're still connected it's too dangerous for us to fight it!"

"Right, so let's treat this as a retrieve them hostage situation, yes?" Adelise asked.

"Negative," Was Gendo's response. "You are to destroy the Angel first."

"What!?" Was the collective response.

"The pilot's life is inconsequential in the destruction of the Angel," He elaborated. "You are to destroy it first."

"B-But father!" Shinji stuttered as he watched everyone fight the Angel possessed EVA. "There's a person in there!"

"And a billion people counting on you to destroy the Angels," Gendo countered angrily. "Destroy the Angel now!"

Shinji looked around the battlefield in shock before gritting his teeth. "No."

"What did you just say Pilot Ikari?"

"I said no! You rat bastard!" Shinji roared. "You don't care about anyone but yourself! You selfish asshole!" He ranted slamming the controls. "Just because we're saving humanity doesn't mean we have to give up ours too!" He finished breathing heavily before glaring at the screen. "Mom would be ashamed of you."

"Enough," Gendo cut in. "Deactivate Unit-01 and activate the dummy plug system."

…. (Meanwhile)

"Pincer attack it is then." Mary said through a mouth of grit teeth. "Split up and converge on either side. It can't stop all of us."

Wordless agreement flooded the comms. One by one, each pilot rushed the Angel. At first it was easy to throw them off one at a time. But perseverance pulled through, and soon five had effectively pinned it. Mary scrambled to reach for the entry plug, but it was blocked by a pulsing mass of tissue.

"Damn it, plug is blocked!" Mary said, grunting as the Angel tried to shove her off.

"What should we do then?" Adelise asked.

Their answer was a demonic roar as Unit-01 appeared out of nowhere to tackle Unit-03 to the ground like a lioness pouncing on a gazelle, ripping and tearing into the flesh like a beast possessed as it pulverized Unit-03.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Shinji screamed, trying everything he could to take back control. Nothing was working. EVA 1 rooted around the neck until it found the pod and ripped it out. "No! Someone's in there!" He screamed, begging the behemoth not to crush it.

"Oh fuck!" Mary shouted. She let go of the writhing Angel body, swatted the pod out of EVA 1's hand, and diving tackled it. She scrambled to sit on its chest, trying her best to pin its head with one foot while keeping the other braced on the ground and using her arms to keep its feet at bay. EVA 1 roared and clawed at her, but all it caught was air.

"Hey bridge what the hell!" Isabelle screamed as the rest of them tired to hold the rampaging EVA down, but got no response. "Damn it all!"

"Shinji hold on!" Adelise shouted trying to grab the cord and rip it out. Mari and Asuka helped grabbing the unit's legs.

"...I can stop this," Rei finally said over the intercoms.

"Well then do it! We can't do this forever!" Mary said, just as the entire group heaved with Unit 1's writhing.

The line went dead again for a few seconds before Unit-01 suddenly jerked tight and fell limp against the ground, leaving the coms quiet except for the pilots breathing and the drones of the plugs.

Mary sighed a huge breath of relief. "Shinji, are you ok in there?"

"...Yeah," He sighed. "What happened?"

"...The dummy plug system was activated," Rei answered.

"What is that?" Adelise asked.

"It is...something...designed to operate the EVA's without the need of a human pilot."

"WELL WHY DID THAT HAPPEN!?" Asuka screamed.

"...There is only one person who could have activated it," Rei said turning to look at NERV. "Commander Gendo Ikari."