I stepped through the hallways deserted for the weekend chess tournament, a sometime minor hobby of mine between the math and physics teams competitions. My footsteps echoed against the tiles, and I ran my hand against the cool glass windows. Rain spattered outside, casting pallid blue remnants of outdoor light into the otherwise unlit corridor.
Happy sixteenth birthday to me.
I sighed and turned towards the window, and I could only imagine the faint reflection of Takasaki glittering back at me. A clock ticked away the seconds in the distance behind me. I would get my Yukari Law government marriage partner notice any day now, and soon the matter would wither and bury itself.
Who could the government assign to me? I tried to envisage someone in the abstract, but again I could only meander back to her face. I only had that one precious conversation with her five years ago, and scattered interactions hither and thither in the intervening time. With provable probable surety any other girl that the government's algorithms deemed optimal and compatible for yme could build and share more meaningful experiences and rationales in two weeks than that. Nonetheless…I never felt this way before or after for any girl besides Takasaki. It had happened all of a sudden, for a small and unconvincing reason, and I could only explain the broadest outlines of how it had transpired. I inclined myself against doubting the power of AI algorithms. Not only from my personal mathematical literacy, but also my father's work as a former vice president at Facebook and now as head of the data science team for the Yukari system. And yet, the idea that a computer could cough out a pairing and make it happen on the spot struck me as incredible.
Still, the statistics didn't lie, at worst only grossly distort the truth. Yukari marriages plummeted divorce rates over natural ones by a statistically significant margin, and Japan's birthrate increased and averted demographic and financial catastrophe according to the IMF. I exhaled again.
It would probably turn out ok.
Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I pushed open the door and entered the classroom. Chessboard mats blanketed many of the neat rows of desks, although only four have people sitting at them. The competition had winnowed the field to the last few rounds. Three pairs of pairs of eyes, mostly from other schools, glared at me from the other desks. One particular pair of eyes regarded me with even more foot-tapping impatience.
The last one had honey-colored twin-tails swaying down the sides of her small head. They framed expressive, innocent eyes that leak through every thought rattling in her brain, and an unsure mouth that opted to express an unfortunate default of unintentional contempt. I judged her to possess an innate cuteness, although not the ability or desire to convey it. Her outfit, an incongruous yet endearing gothic lolita dress, only confirmed her either neophyte or deliberate nonconformism.
I approached her and bowed before taking a seat across from her. I was playing black this round, not that going second bothered me. I appreciated the challenge and played a better defense anyway, waiting for the opponent to tire and make a mistake.
"I'm Firstname Reader," I introduced myself. "And you are - ?"
"Ririna Sanada," she answered.
"Sanada-mushi [tapeworm]?" one of the students at another table jeered, earning a glare from Ririna. She gritted her mouth into a definite show of intentional contempt now.
"I've seen your name on the top of the tournament lists," she added, turning back to me. "I look forward to playing you."
I opened my arms and leaned back my chair, teetering it on its legs. "I could say the same for you, Sanada-san. Now then, I'm sure the other tables would like to start, so let's - "
There's a knock at the door, prompting groans from the other players, until the guest peeked in with a sheepish "Excuse me," and silenced them all with her awing beauty.
"T-T-Takasaki-san?" I stammered out, the ruminations I had shoved aside earlier bursting forth and trampling my brain once again. She wore a pastel pink blouse with a loose ruffled bow sprawled over her collar area and a white tennis miniskirt of a rather appealing length, and it struck me how I had never seen her outside her school uniform beyond that initial conversation many years ago.
I shot a quick glance at Ririna, her eyes just as wide open in surprise as mine. I could conclude she did not contrive this to throw me off balance before the game. But that still didn't explain why Takasaki had shown up out of the blue.
"Takasaki-san?" Ririna repeated. "I thought you were with Nejima-kun today?".
Takasaki tittered behind a nervous smirk. "Oh, he's actually hanging out with Nisaka."
She turned to me, and I almost wilted under the spotlight burning from her attention.
"Reader-kun, do you have a moment? Actually, a bit more than a moment?" she inquired, and time stood still.
"Does it have to be n- " the duty-bound part of me began, before the rest of me tackled it back down.
Takasaki needed me for something.
Besides, her unanticipated pulchritude had annihilated my ability to think even a move ahead for the game in front of me, smearing my mental tree of strategic possibilities. And in life as well, although all indications screamed towards only one possible action anyway. I shifted my eyes towards my king and queen looming over the rest of the pieces on my side of the board.
With a backhand slap, I knocked over my king to indicate my resignation.
"Hey!" Ririna yelped out, slamming the desk and jiggering the pieces from the impact.
"Sorry," I apologized as my chair screeched against the floor and I skipped over to the door. "Maybe next time," I dismissed with a salute. I could only see Takasaki leaning against the door, frozen in time.
"Thank you for waiting," I expressed to her for the mere thirty-second ordeal. "How do you and Ririna know each other?".
"We know each other from…a mutual acquaintance," she summarized, staring ahead. "Did you bring an umbrella?".
I patted down my pockets, even though they're logically too small to fit one, and realized the sun had shined all morning when I got here. Sasahara had even texted me with an all-clear forecast for the whole day then. Which means…
I failed to muster the courage to say the answer, but my nervous frown and frantic eyes told it all.
Takasaki began a sigh, before recovering her smile and saying nothing for a good fifteen seconds as the two of us approached the entrance. Finally, she picked up a pink umbrella to match her top from one of the racks besides the lockers, shook a few residual drops off of it, and looked to me.
"I have one. Did you bring a rain jacket?".
I shook my head.
"Then…we can use it," she concluded. I bolted ahead of her to open the door for her, and as she exited she swung out the umbrella and opened it over the both of us. A few drops caught my uniform's shoulder, but I dared not inch closer to Takasaki. Even now, I was close enough to hear her soft breaths. I was close enough to see light reflecting off her deep, impenetrable eyes, and gathered a clue on what goes behind them.
My shoulder was only a centimeter away from hers, so close I concentrated every passing moment on not bumping into her, and I was too terrified to say a word. I've been too terrified to really say anything of substance to her all these years.
The first time I had met her, we had both exchanged our honest selves, and hints of our honest thoughts and even an honest secret. Now I found myself unable to summon the courage to even initiate a conversation about the weather. Granted, a rather dreary subject at the moment, but at least something else. School? Clubs? Hobbies? Anything of the nothing in common I realized I share with the girl next to me right now.
I had five years. I did nothing, said nothing. Even now, the precious moments walking right next to her, which I might never get again, ticked away with a deafening loudness in my head. I deflated into a useless, incogent, awkward heap when I saw her. What had changed from that first meeting?
I knew the answer: I fell in love with her.
She became my angel, and angels resided in the unreachable.
And I really, really could have gone without this blazing, unignorable reminder on my sixteenth birthday.
"So…why did you come to get me? What do you need, Takasaki-san?" I asked, more quiet than usual, and amazed that I accomplished it at all. Still, factual curiosity could override awkward terror.
"Oh, I was specifically informed that you would only leave the tournament early if I came to ask, for some reason," she sidestepped.
"Careful, puddle," I pointed out as we crossed an intersection, and Takasaki nodded in appreciation. Whoever had "informed" her of this, probably Michiru come to think of it…"for some reason." Only idiots and the willfully blind could not draw the line from that to the obvious conclusion, and to call Takasaki either of those was beyond me.
"So where are we going? This is the route to my house." I might have had more questions or theories of varying shades if we two were walking towards the local government office or our high school, but at this point I guessed it's just a surprise birthday party and I relaxed.
"Indeed."
Yep, definitely a surprise birthday party. But more importantly:
"You know where I live?" I asked, with perhaps too much optimistic incredulity soaking into my voice.
"Google Maps is quite a thing," she replied, "and I was provided with your address."
"Also," she added, scooting into even more uncomfortable proximity to me and waving in with her right hand, "your shoulder is getting wet, why don't you come in."
I slid in behind her to avoid a collision, biting my lip at how we must have looked.
"So…" I trailed off. "How's, um, school going?" I offered.
She beamed and turned back towards me, causing me to point to another puddle ahead.
"Oh actually, I did really well on the calculus test thanks to your explanation the other day!" she exclaimed, and I couldn't help but reflect her joy myself.
"You actually found it helpful?".
"Yeah, definitely!" she affirmed. "I think you'd have a lot of talent as a teacher or professor some day, if that's what you want to do. You have such an honest and nice disposition, I bet your students would love you."
Oh, a few words deleted in that last sentence would have changed my world. If only.
But still, I was having an actual conversation with Misaki Takasaki again! My heart jumped and I was almost sure she could hear it this close to me, accelerating it further.
"Oh, thank you!" I replied. "I agree, yeah, being a teacher would be nice, I would like it a lot. But, I think I need to do something a bit more…lucrative in this economy, no? It's quite expensive these days to raise a family. Maybe I could my skills to better personal use as a hedge fund manager or founder or something."
I winced as I realized I might have wanted to come across as less pecuniary to Takasaki.
"Oh, I think that's awesome," she said instead. "You've always struck me as the ambitious kind. And, unlike me, you can probably achieve yours too."
"You're plenty talented, Takasaki-san!" I interjected. "What do you want to do, anyway?"
"Oh, really?" Her eyebrows perked up. "Why don't you name a few?".
"Well…" I was starting to regret my earlier bravado, as though I was sure my wonderful angel had many, I struggled to put them into words. And, as my mind bitterly tried to push away, I didn't really know her that well.
"Well, Takasaki-san, you're really popular, and everyone likes you and gets along with you. You know how to make people happy or feel better, even when it's difficult or not obvious - that's got to count for something, right? And I'd say it's pretty valuable and helpful. And you're memorable, even from a distance or from talking to you once."
"Also," I appended, "I'm not sure, um, whether it's appropriate to say, but, at least in my opinion - I mean, just from the general consensus from most people in the school, you know - I think, I mean, most people think, you're really pretty."
Takasaki beamed. "That's great to hear! I'm glad to know that someone thinks I'm useful like that."
"So, what would you like to do when you grow up?" I repeated from earlier.
"I don't know yet, we're just first-years," she deflected.
"We have to submit our first drafts of career plan forms soon, surely you've given it some thought."
"Well…I think you described my ambition just now, no? Or at least its prerequisites."
I tilted my head in confusion. "I don't believe so. So you do have one after all."
Takasaki sighed. "I'm a bit embarrassed to say…people might laugh…"
I curled my pinky around hers, causing her to jerk her focus down towards it in surprise, and I swung our arms together once and withdraw. The brief contact felt cold and soft, just as I remembered all those years ago.
"I promise," I declared.
Takasaki nodded, staring up off far away into the crying sky. "I guess I want to be a politician…I'd like to run in the National Diet for a seat in the House of Representatives, maybe…maybe even become prime minister of Japan, if…if I can do it."
"Wow!" I exclaimed, "That's awesome! Aim high, Takasaki-san!".
"I don't think I can do it," she muttered, rubbing her neck. "I'm just an unremarkable high school girl…and Japan's never had a girl prime minister anyway…just something I'd wish to do."
"Hey," I interrupted, stopping. "Turn and look at me."
She complied, and I stared into her ocean-colored eyes. If she were a guy friend I might have grabbed her shoulders for tactile punctuation, but that seemed too forward in this particular circumstance.
"You're plenty amazing, Takasaki-san. Maybe some people are smarter or whatever, but there's no one else like you in the world. You're your own unique probability outcome, and you have the chance to do anything you set your mind to, but people will only believe in you if you believe in yourself. "
She flashed a smile. Not one of her perfect ones, this one tainted with a bit of cynical hesitation tempering the ends of the curve, but it made it all the more real and it feels directly for me.
"Thank you, Reader-kun."
"So, what would you want to do as Prime Minister?".
"We're here," she announced, pointing a finger towards my house. I thought we had at least a few more minutes until we arrived, but as Einstein's general relativity predicts, time dilates near an extreme gravitational attraction.
"I know what's inside and what they're going to say to me," I said as the two of us go up the steps to the door, "but it doesn't make it any less moving."
I ring the doorbell. Footsteps shuffled inside. A muffled "Everyone get ready," leaked through, followed by silence.
The door sprung open, and Michiru glanced from Takasaki to me under the same umbrella with a devious smirk. Koharu and Sasahara and others and streamers and cake were behind her. I felt a warmth creep inside knowing my friends had planned all this for me, down to the Takasaki invite, and I rested my hand over my heart.
"Surprise!" we yelled at each other.
Author's Note: Apologies for the late update, I got back home from work after midnight last night. The characters in Koi to Uso are really great - I really like Takasaki, but I personally identify with Ririna a lot.
See disclaimer in chapter 1.