The Golden Key and Other Tales
By: Wilona Riva
Disclaimer: I own the book the tales come in, not the collection of tales themselves. That honor belongs to the Brothers Grimm. Nor do I own Labyrinth.
italics - original tale
italics - the made up ending
1: The Golden Key
In the winter time, when deep snow lay on the ground, a poor boy was forced to go out on a sledge to fetch wood. When he had gathered it together, and packed it, he wished, as he was so frozen with cold, not to go home at once, but to light a fire and warm himself a little. So he scraped away the snow, and as he was thus clearing the ground, he found a tiny, gold key. Hereupon, he thought that where the key was, the lock must be also, and dug in the ground and found an iron chest.
"If the key does but fit it!" thought he; "no doubt there are precious things in that little box."
He searched, but no keyhole was there. At last he discovered one, but so small that it was hardly visible. He tried it, and the key fitted it exactly. Then he turned it once round, and now we must wait until he has quite unlocked it and opened the lid, and then we shall learn what wonderful things were lying in that box.
Sarah closed the book.
"Prithee, milady, there must be more to the story," Sir Didymus inquired. "It seems so short."
"Some tales are like that," Sarah explained. "Unfortunately, we are not to know what was in the box."
"Ludo not like story," Ludo complained.
"I'm with him," Hoggle grumbled. "What kind of stories are these anyway?"
"Grimm's Fairy Tales," Sarah said, showing the book. "Cost me $20 at Barnes and Nobles, so quit complaining."
"Would that we could know what was in the box," Sir Didymus said. Ambrosius, his steed, whined in agreement.
Sarah looked around at all of her friends and smiled. "I have an idea," she said. "Anytime we come to a short tale in the book, and everyone is not happy with it, why don't we write our own endings to them."
"Would that not spoil the story?" Hoggle wondered.
"Not if everyone is in agreement," said Sarah. "Shall we give it a try?"
"I guess," Hoggle sighed.
"I'm game," Sir Didymus yipped in agreement.
"Ludo, okay," the gentle rusty-furred giant said.
Sarah dismissed them, and told them to meet her in Jareth's throne room three days hence to present their new ending to the old tale.
Three days later...
"Hogspit, you will read the ending. The orange furbeast speaks in monosyllables, the fox-dog makes long-winded speeches, and nobody speaks dog," the Goblin King commanded.
"It's Hoggle," the red cap muttered under his breath.
"What was that, Hogbrain?"
"I said, 'yes, sire'," Hoggle answered smartly.
"That's what I thought," Jareth said, smirking a bit.
Sarah punched him playfully in the shoulder. "Behave," she commanded.
"Yes, dear."
The nobles tittered a bit. The human girl had tamed the goblin king. The rumors were true.
Hoggle held up a sheet of paper and began to read:
"The boy turned the key once round, and there was an audible click. Lifting the lid, he opened the iron chest to find three items inside: a piece of cheese wrapped in cloth, a rock and the Faerie Queen's underwear."
Bursts of laughter came from all four corners of the room.
Sarah frowned. "Hoggle, I thought we discussed this."
"Our story, our ending," Hoggle informed her. "Trust us, Sarah."
Jareth smirked. "You'll be taking a bath in the Bog of Eternal Stench if the ending is what I think it is, Hogwart."
"I ain't no headmaster of a wizarding school," Hoggle scowled at him. "Trust us, your majesty."
"Continue," Sarah told him gently.
"The boy loaded the iron chest with its precious cargo onto his sleigh, and took off for home. Once he got there, he showed his parents his treasure. They fed the piece of cheese to the mice, who scampered through town and found all the unclaimed coins no one wanted. Most were worthless copper ones, a few silver, but one gold one bought them firewood for the rest of the winter.
They sent a message to the Faerie Queen, who to save face, offered them three bushels of gold to keep silent on the matter. The rock adopted the human boy."
"That's absurd!" someone said quite loudly.
"Hush," Jareth admonished him. "Why did the rock adopt the human boy?"
"Rock, friend!" Ludo proclaimed proudly.
"That will be all, Hoggle," Jareth said, dismissing the ragtag trio of friends.
Hoggle's eyebrows lifted at this. "You got my name right!"
"Don't let it go to your brain, red cap."
"Yes, Your Majesty."