The Devil's Bargain

Fifteen:

Dog

So, what happened when you were in love with Chris Redfield? Apparently, it meant he cooked you spaghetti and stole your meatballs. Apparently, it meant he kissed your neck while you played video games. Apparently, it meant he mowed the grass shirtless while you drank lemonade and watched raptly…along with the widow across the street that was using her hose to water her plants for entirely too long. But who could blame her? It was a show. Apparently, it meant you sat on his back while he did push ups while you watched Jerry Springer. Apparently, it meant you talked…and talked..and talked about everything. Apparently, it meant you danced in the kitchen for no reason at all. Chris was really kinda awful at dancing. And it was wonderful. He was big on laughter.

BIG on laughter. He was always keeping her laughing. From the foghorn in the morning scaring the piss out of her to the Nerf gun war that ended up catching the stove on fire somehow. To the world's longest game of hide and seek that went well past midnight and the time they bought giant inflatable balls, got inside them, and went racing down the street like bubble people. Chris didn't stop laughing.

She came home one day to find a trampoline out back. And they took turns doing flip kicks. Sometime around midnight, he carried her out to it and loved her on it while the crickets chirped. Gentle was what he was when you weren't looking. And he was always looking into her eyes. Always. A direct man on the best of days, when you loved him? He was always looking at you.

It made you feel like you might know all the secrets to the universe.

He wasn't shy about showing her how he felt. Nope. He did little things to show it. He bought the fruit she liked, he cleaned up after her without a word, he made her bed for her…although she never slept in it anymore really. And he taught her how to tackle, how to take a punch, how to anticipate one. She taught him how to back flip. Sorta. He wasn't great but he was eager. The falling down was comic and endearing. But Chris? He kept getting up. He kept trying again. He never gave up.

The intelligence on his face was breathtaking. He listened when she talked, he paid attention to her words and remembered them. He watched her all the time and made her feel a little giddy with it. She caught him looking one afternoon while she was doing laundry. He was just standing there looking at her.

She said, "What?"

And he answered, "I'm kinda nuts for you, Valentine."

And he was just like that too. No bullshit. You just felt good when you were with him and light. He didn't muddy anything. He didn't fake. He didn't hide. He was just out there, just loving you, just living with you.

He was all kinds of wonderful. He juggled vegetables while he cooked. And he cooked a lot. He said, "My parents wouldn't let you eat if you didn't learn." And he was good at it.

His magic tricks were astounding. He disappeared an entire rubber chicken once. Right in front of her. She found it in her car. How? He'd ALWAYS find her card. His sleight of hand was impossible to catch. He liked his video games and loved for her to sit in front him while he played.

Jill was always finding little stuff left around for her. Her favorite shampoo, her favorite flowers on the table, her favorite author's new book on the night stand. He just got her and didn't expect anything with the gesture of it. Her clothes were always mended without a word. She took care of the cars and the maintenance. She fixed the stuff in the house. She was happy to.

She started making efforts to please him too. She went to the farmer's market and bought all the local produce he liked. She bought him an electric razor because he was always forgetting to change blades on his. She cleaned his guns for him and even modified the magazine on his .45 to hold more rounds. She bought little massage oils to rub him down after he got sore fighting the heavy bag.

One day she got a phone call from Harris County in Pennsylvania; Henri was back in lock up. She hadn't even known he was out to begin with. He was such a terrible father. She'd hid the sadness of it but he could see it. He was good at it.

She came in from the grocery store and dumped her bags on the table. Sitting on the floor was…possibly a dog. Or possibly the ugliest beast ever born. It was hairy, kinda, and had pokey ears and big bat eyes. It was just watching her.

Jill called, "Chris? There's…something out here looking at me."

And Chris came out of the bathroom, shirtless, spotted with shaving cream. "Yeah? Oh…yeah. That's Dog."

Jill looked at his face. "I see that it's a dog."

"Not A dog. Just Dog. That's his name. Dog."

"….you named the dog…Dog?"

"Yup. I found him at the pound today. They were gonna you know…" Chris sliced across his throat with a thumb, "So I figured..what the hell? I'd get you a dog. Save a life, make your woman smile. Twofer."

"….you got me a dog?"

"Yep."

"Do I want a dog?"

"You do. You've been so sad. Dog is fun. He doesn't chew shit. He mostly just lies around and plays frisbee. He likes hugs. He's a good dude."

Jill petted Dog. The ugly mutt grinned foolishly at her. His tongued lolled stupidly. He leapt up and licked her face. Jill stared at him with his paws on her shoulders.

Chris said, "Give him a hug. It's what he wants."

She hugged Dog. Dog got down and padded off to lay down.

"See? He just wants love. He's a big goof."

Jill turned to look at him. Chris grinned at her with shaving cream all over his face. She looked at him objectively. He was bigger than he'd been a month ago. Headed toward those big guns he was trying to get. His boombox was blaring somewhere in the house. His belly was flat and taut and muscled. Gorgeous, she thought, had he always been?

He bought her a fucking mutt to make her smile.

She hooked a hand into his waistband and pulled him to her. He was still grinning when he kissed her, smearing her face with shaving cream. She drew back to see him. "You're a big goof."

Chris laughed, "You like Dog?"

"He's ok. I like you."

"Ditto, kiddo." And he picked her up against his front to kiss her again while her feet dangled.

Dog was awesome. He was friendly and charming and stupid looking. She didn't know what the hell kind of breed he was meant to be. But he liked to watch her play video games and he slept on the floor of the bed. He liked to stare at cats and eat pickles. He was good on a leash. She wondered why someone wouldn't want him.

She said, "Some idiot just got rid of you, dude. Why wouldn't someone love you?"

Chris thought, click. The girl who thought no one loved her and the dog who thought the same. Click click click. They were made for each other.

Dog went on runs with her. They ate hotdogs and watched reruns of the Melrose Place and 90210. Dog wasn't fond of Dylan either. "Right?" Jill said, laughing, "What an asshat."

Dog was her best four legged friend.

Her best two legged one? He was always doing stuff to make her feel special. He bought her a baseball hat with her name inscribed on the side. One day he told her a dirty poem he'd written about her. Not at ALL romantic but it made her laugh and kinda turned her on. He was the dirty Dr. Seuss.

She was a sexual tornado. He couldn't figure out where she'd blow him over twice. He was trying to clean his gun one day and she went under the table, unzipped him, and went to town. He nearly shot her before he could put down the pistol and grab her hair. He couldn't take a shower alone. Ever. Which was awesome. She was always in there like a slippery little sex mermaid.

He was fixing the gutters on the back of the house one day on a god damn ladder and there it was, the unzipping. He had to grab the roof to keep from falling off the ladder and killing himself. Objectively, it would have been a good way to die. She was a goddess at putting her mouth on him. He'd bragged about going down. Nope. It was her. She was all about it.

He was playing the zombie game when she came in from the gym one day. He said, "You want to give it a whirl?" And offered her the controller.

She glanced at him and at Dog snoring in the corner on his bed and said, "Yeah. Alright. I'll play."

She didn't grab the controller. She grabbed his dick. And said, "Keep playing dude. Seriously." As she tried to suck his brains out of his cock. He kept playing. He died, tragically, since he couldn't focus anyway. But it was worth it.

His hands were always on her tits. Always. Pretty much 24/7 when they were home. She stopped wearing bras to take away the barrier. He watched tv playing with her boobs. He read witness reports playing with her boobs. Boobs, all the time. It was his thing.

Happy, Jill thought, they were just…happy. I won't fail you, he said, and he didn't. He just loved her. And she loved him. It was good. It was all good, all the time. They never fought. It was impossible to fight with Chris. He was so god damn good natured that you ended up laughing.

At work, they were friendly and funny and constantly goofing off but not touchy. The jokes were wonderful and stupid and silly. She put a fake turd in his chair during a meeting and made everyone laugh. He put temporary hair color in her beret and she ended up with pink streaks for a week. She fixed his boots so they somehow squeaked or farted every time he took a step. The whoopie cushion was her constant plague. It was in the office, in the conference room, in the gym during simulations. She strung his boxers up on the corkboard at work with a sign the said: Found at The Leather Den. Please see Chris Redfield to claim them. The Leather Den was the known gay S&M bar down the road. He got the woman who did announcements for the station to go over the PA one morning and say, "Jill Valentine, please come to reception. Your shipment of anal suppositories has arrived."

Brad fell over laughing. Barry snorted. Joseph said, "A good cup of coffee and a bran muffin will fix that, Valentine. Just sayin."

Jill glanced at his face, twitching her mouth. Chris shrugged.

He was having lunch with a bunch of guys in the cafeteria. She walked over and dumped mayonnaise all over his nachos. He looked at them forlornly. She laughed and walked off.

He had EVERYONE hitting on her. He had to be paying people to do it. Seriously. Guys were constantly asking her out. She couldn't do anything but laugh.

She put laxative in his coffee one morning. And he spent the rest of the day shitting his guts out. He kept leaping up and running to the bathroom during their meeting with Gia and Wesker. It was the best revenge ever.

Gia was too good natured not to like. She was flirty with Chris but seemed harmless. However he'd blown her off that night hadn't made any waves. She was smart and helpful. Jill felt like they were closing in on the witches every day.

She heard the laughter and looked up. She followed the laughter to the window to look out and down. There were condoms all over her car. Everywhere. Some were blown up and in little balloon animals. Some were in the shape of dicks and flapping in the wind. A wavy tube man was whipping and rolling in the wind to bring attention to it. The car was STUFFED with them as well. It was colorful and creative…damn him.

Chris was writing in his witness reports and very, very bland faced.

Brad was laughing, "Can I borrow some?"

Jill snorted, "Who would you use them with Vickers?"

Joseph hooted out a laugh. "Right? You even HAVE a dick, Brad?"

Barry was chuckling, "Maybe he uses them to protect his tube socks."

Brad was offended. "I get laid dude. ALL THE TIME."

Chris said, "Brad, without trying, name ONE GIRL you've fucked in the last year."

Brad was red faced and mad now. Barry was laughing. Joseph slapped him on the back, good naturedly. "Don't worry, Vickers. There's a girl out there for you."

Brad gave them all the finger.

Amused, Jill walked over and said, "You realize…naturally…that you are going down."

Chris kept his face straight, somehow, and said, "Yeah? I'm good at going down."

Joseph snorted out another laugh. "I actually heard that about you dude."

Damn him. Now she was kinda turned on. She slapped him in the back of the head and had him laughing. Chris winked at her. Jill rolled her eyes.

She sat down at her desk…and got whoopied.

And that was it. The fart filled the office and she just started laughing. She laughed and laughed and laughed. They all did. She realized that she had never been so happy. He made her happy. And she loved him a lot.

Her training with Wesker was coming along as well. He was fucking smarter than anyone she'd ever met. He was all drive and determination. He taught her to shift and roll and drop without losing her focus. When he spoke, she listened. He wasn't in the least creepy to her now. He had more intelligence and skill than she could even begin to understand. He instructed, inspected, assessed and revised when a level of training was too complex or too simple.

He pushed her, paced her, praised her and punished her when necessary. She kept missing the timing on her flip kicks one day. He kicked her over so hard that it scared her and she skidded over the mat, curled around the pain. He pulled her up and shook her. "You're better than this! Commit! Or get the hell off my mat!"

She rolled, dropped her elbow to break his hold, and foot swept him. He went down on his back and she leapt on him, straddling him and pinning his arms down. She yelled back at him, "I'm only as good as my teacher! TEACH ME! And stop fucking around!"

Brave. Possibly stupid but brave. Impressed, he looked up at her. And, again, he had that feeling of wanting to own her. And interesting premise for a man like him. He wanted to own her. Why? The pleasing promise of a puppet? Or was it more primal than that? He watched the heave of her bosom, felt her body on him, but it wasn't that. It could be, with enough interest, he could make it physical. But he wasn't interested in that, not really. He wanted her drive, her passion, her purpose. He wanted to see how far she'd go down the rabbit hole. He craved it. And maybe he saw some of his own darkness on her as well. She was a fascinating creature.

It worked. He stopped fucking around. He pulled out all the stops and he started to really teach her. He started slapping her around without pulling it. He spoke of grit and determination. He taught her to fly -speed and skill and sticking to it when you were down and done. He was determined to break her out of her shell.

Apparently, being Wesker's protégé came with respect from your teammates and your coworkers.

Apparently, loving Chris Redfield came with coming out of the gym to find a cheerleading squad doing their own personal cheer for you. She watched him on the balcony while they started screaming her name and shouting about being aggressive. He chuckled and shrugged.

He wasn't laughing when he came out of the shower in the gym and had no clothes. There was…a tiny towel and a treasure map. He had to go around the station with his little buttcheeks hanging out of that tiny towel while he tried to find his clothes. He got hit on quite a bit by both men and women…and most of the hookers in chairs. Jill had kindly left his underwear hanging from the ceiling fan in chairs. What a pal.

Jill saluted him from the balcony as he crossed the lobby in his boxers and his shoulder holster. Someone hooted and said, "Dance, Redfield!"

Ryman. He was good fun.

So? Chris Redfield danced. Jill threw her hand to her collarbone and laughed. Someone turned on a boombox with an Usher song blaring. And he just…he danced. It was…the best thing she'd seen in days. There was whistling and whooping. It was something to see. His rhythm? Awful. His enthusiasm? Amazeballs.

Gia was whistling and there was too much grinning. Too much grinning. Jill hated the grinning. Amused at herself for the jealousy, she enjoyed the show anyway.

There was a clatter beside her and one of the rookies interviewing for a job had completely knocked over the coffee cart. With sympathy, Jill went to help clean it up.

"Hey thanks."

She glanced up at the face that went with the voice. It was a fucking great face. All kinds of handsome. Lots of super hot hair and big blue eyes. She grinned a little. What was it Chris was saying? Pretty boy. He was pretty.

He was also dressed in Valentino. A dove gray suit with a perfectly knotted and expensive blue silk tie. He knew what he was wearing, clearly. That suit cost more than a rookie made in a month.

She said, "No problem. Nervous?"

"God yes."

"Don't be. You'll be fine." She studied him and blinked. She'd seen him before now that she thought about it. He'd been the kid on the range that drilled the target three times in a row in the same hole. And she added, "I've seen you shoot. You're fucking aces, kid. This your second interview?"

"Yeah? Yeah, it is."

"You're gold, dude. Seriously. I've never seen anyone shoot like that. You going out for S.T.A.R.S.?"

He flushed a little, charming the hell out of her. He was a baby. A delicious baby but a baby none the less."God, no. Ha. I'm graduating from the academy in a few months. Just looking for an assignment as far from home as possible."

"I know that story. I'm Jill." They rose and shook hands. Good grip and he didn't try to impress her with this strength. He smiled and it was sex on a stick yummy.

"I'm Leon. Leon Kennedy. Thanks for helping."

"You bet, Leon Kennedy. Listen, if you interview with Irons and Wesker, just keep things focused on your skills. Don't worry about any of that shit they tell you in business class. It doesn't matter here. You have an eagle eye which means you're halfway there. Grace under pressure? That's the ticket."

He grinned at her again, "Thanks. I will." He gestured to the coffee cart, "Interested in piss poor coffee, Jill?"

And now she laughed a little. "I am. Thanks."

He poured her a cup of coffee. Adorable little thing that he was. She thought he was about the cutest thing she'd ever seen. She liked the face. It was gold. The reddish blonde hair was cut and styled pretty fucking awesome. It wasn't a face you forgot.

The laughter from the lobby drew their attention.

Leon said, "Poor dude."

"Don't you feel sorry for him, rookie. He's just fine. He likes the attention."

He also did NOT like her talking to handsome, young, and friendly rookies. His face was not thrilled. Touched by the jealousy, Jill leaned a little closer to the kid just to fuck with him.

He said something funny and Chris watched her touch his arm. Nope. That was it.

Jill saw him coming and loved it. LOVED it. Jealous. Boom.

She said, "Good luck in there, Leon Kennedy. I should run along now before I get you punched in the face."

"…by whom?" Leon queried.

"Whom eh? I love it. Probably the guy in the underwear coming this way."

"He doesn't look too tough. I think I'll risk it. You should stay, enjoy more coffee, and let me buy you dinner after my interview."

Oh. Jill grinned at him. Cocky little guy. She liked him. She said, "Can't do it." And there was Chris coming their way. "Better go. Good luck, rookie. You'll do great. Working here is the tits. But just don't be late, ever. People HATE when you're late."

"Don't worry. I'm never late. You should come back here and have that coffee."

"You adorable little thing. Can't do it. And I'm ALWAYS late. My cross to bear. See you around, Leon Kennedy." Jill ran away now, laughing. She watched Chris shoulder bump the rookie as he went by.

Loving it, she ran off laughing before the revenge could find her.

At her desk later, she felt him watching her. She lifted innocent eyes to his face. "What?"

"Who was the turd?"

"Hmm? Whom?"

"You know who, Valentine. Whom was the fetus you were flirting with out there?"

"That's...awful grammar, Red, and not at all the correct use of the world whom. But what fetus? You mean that delicious little guy in the suit and tie?"

"….I mean the missing member of Douchey McBoy Band you were slobbering all over."

Barry snorted. Brad said, "Oh that guy? I saw that too. He was hitting on you good, Valentine."

Joseph chuckled, "He's TOTALLY her type."

Barry added, "Oh yeah. That kid? Had Valentine's name all over him."

Tongue in cheek, Jill said, "Oh he tried. He asked me out. Nice kid. Kennedy was his name? I've seen him shoot."

Joseph snapped his fingers, "OH YEAH. I saw him on the range one day. That kid is a fucking natural. Best god damn shot I've ever seen. EVER. Including Wesker. He did the course in like fifteen minutes. It was insane."

Barry was nodding, "Oh yeah. He's from some fancy academy in D.C. He's supposed to be a genius too, I hear."

"Like Chambers?" Brad queried.

"Oh exactly." Barry was typing on his computer now, "He's your type, Jill. You should go for it."

Jill was watching Chris and the humor on her face was bursting. She said, "Maybe I will."

Chris shook his head, snorting. And Brad said, "I heard he beat your score on the course, Red. That sucks for you huh?"

Chris rolled his tongue over his teeth. Jill pursed her lips, biting her lip to stop the grin.

"Yeah? Who cares. Stupid rookies. They came and go."

Jill rose, coughing a little. She said, "I…am going to go see if he's still out there. And find out if he'd like a partner on the range today."

Joseph said, "Rock on, Valentine. Get some."

Brad said, "Hubba Hubba."

She was halfway to the balcony and knew he was back there, following her. She couldn't stop it. She had to start laughing. She ducked into the supply room. A few minutes later, he did too.

She was laughing as he grabbed her to shove her against the wall. Chris was laughing too. "You trying to make me jealous, Valentine?"

"Maybe? Is it working?"

"It might be working." He watched her face. She held his, grinning at him. He kept looking at her mouth. She licked her lips.

"Did you like how it felt? I can keep doing it."

He looked at her mouth again and she shivered with excitement. She liked him jealous. It looked good on him.

But he didn't kiss her. He thrust his hand into her pants and put his fingers in her. She was NOT laughing now. She gasped as he fingered her, fast, faster, and put his other hand over her mouth. He said, softly against her ear, "I don't like being jealous."

His fingers were merciless. She was gasping, gasping and dying. He hissed, softly, "Shh. They'll hear you out there. You want to come?"

Holy god. He was so fucking dirty. She nodded, humping into his hand. He slid his thumb against the apex of her body and stroked her. He pushed her up, threw her into the fire, and watched her come, bucking against his thrusting fingers. His hand slid away to take her moan into his mouth and fill it with his tongue while she shuddered, orgasming into his hand, hot and sticky.

He slid his hand out of her pants and popped their mouths apart. She held on for a moment, shuddering. "Cheese and rice, Red. I'll make you jealous every fucking day from now on."

And he laughed, hugging her.

That was the thing with him. Laughter. It was their bread and butter. It was their cake and cookies. It was their thing. Jill, Chris, and Dog: the three amigos. They went camping and Dog ate all their food while they were hunting up wood for a fire. They played freeze tag and Chris fell asleep waiting for her to tag him. The world's longest on going game of hackey sack lasted six hours and finished when the mailman knocked on the door and Chris dropped the hackey sack.

Jill ran outside whooping and cheering. She made twin pistols with her hands and fired them at him. She did a little jig and stole his fucking heart. Dog watched her from the door, glanced up at Chris, and Chris said, "You want to keep her?"

Dog woofed a little.

"Yeah, me too dude. Seriously."

Jill did a cartwheel and fell. He laughed and whistled.

Apparently, loving Chris Redfield came with laughter.