Chapter Three: Don't call me late for Dinner
Mr. Addams was sitting in his study; a cigar resting in one hand, a file in the other. As he took another long drag, the black telephone sitting on the end of his desk started ringing. Mr. Addams grew a smile and set down his folder to pick up the phone.
"This is Addams!" he said.
"Uh. Hi, Mr. Addams?" Jeremy's voice came from the speaker.
"Ah, this is Jeremy calling I assume?" Mr. Addams said with a grin.
"Ah, yes sir. Is this a bad time?"
"Bad timing? Nonsense, perfect time." He said turning in his chair. "What can I do for you lad?"
"I was calling to ask about that dinner with your family, sir. I'm very interested in your offer to board me." Jeremy said.
"I see," He said with a smile over the phone. "Well then, what helped make up your mind so quickly might I ask? I wasn't expecting your call for at least a couple of days." Mr. Addams added while pulling out his pocket watch, simultaneously looking at his wrist watch.
"Well, honestly you're the best chance I've got to make it to college Mr. Addams, and it would be a real experience to get out and see the Addams family lifestyle."
"Curiosity broadens the mind." Mr. Addams said aloud into the phone.
"What?"
"You've got a good head on your shoulders Jeremy. We can easily set dinner for wednesday, get you moved in saturday if all goes well." he replied.
"That would be awesome Mr. Addams. Thank you."
"Of course. So should we say five o' clock then?"
"Five sounds great."
"Excellent. See you then." Mr. Addams said hanging up the phone.
"Beep beep beep beep beep" Jeremy heard. This caught him off guard. 'I thought that was only on older phones… Huh… neat.' he thought to himself. After clicking end, he dropped back onto his bed smiling to himself.
"I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it." he repeated to himself as he was pulled slowly into sleeps embrace.
~Meanwhile~
"Five sounds great."
"Excellent. See you then." Mr. Addams said hanging up the phone. "Haha. Excellent. Excellent." he continued, then tried to get up from his chair to find he'd wrapped the cord around himself.
After unwinding it he'd decided now was a good a time as ever to make his children aware of his plans. He headed out the door to the living room area to find a silver bell that sat on the side table.
He gave it a quick jingle and set it back down, to turn and face a man a good foot taller than him. He wore a crisp white shirt with a puffy black bowtie that stood out like an inkwell spilled into the snow. With a butler's uniform just as deeply dark, and custom made for the grey toned man standing 6 feet and 9 inches tall.
"You rang?" came from the man in a deep resonant voice.
"Lurch, would you go upstairs and find the children? I have something I wish to discuss with them.
"Okay." Lurch replied simply and headed through the archway that barely brushed the top of his hair, and toward the stairs. There was a small rattle and Thing flipped open the lid to a wooden box that sat next to the silver bell, and "Hopped" out, if you could call that hopping.
The disembodied hand leapt from the table to the recliner and then snagged onto the back of Lurch's coattails. Scurrying up his back and perched on his shoulder eager to help.
Not even three minutes later, 12 year old Wednesday Addams came walking down the stairs. Her raven black hair as always, tied into two tight braids dropped over her shoulder, where her favorite pet spider Homer was perched. She dragged behind her something trailing up the staircase and around the bend, as well as a stooped over Lurch; holding her left hand.
Just as she touched the last step, Wednesday Addams produced the end of a rope from behind her back, held in her right. She gives it a sharp tug and her 10 year old brother Pugsley is pulled out from around the corner at the top of the stairs; strapped to a skateboard and wearing a colander as a helmet. He then tips over the top step and starts bumping down the staircase bobbing his little round head up and down on his chubby neck.
Somewhere on the 10th step, the edge of the board hit a snag and Pugsley was sent flying down the staircase facedown headfirst. Mr. Addams stepped forward and grabbed the boy from the air and spun him around before setting him on his feet, where he promptly fell down onto his butt.
"I'd say you could've stuck the landing better." stated Wednesday simply.
"Hehehe. Probably." Pugsley replied and stood back up with some effort as his arms were also bound to his sides that tied the rope to his back. He looked up, then around him on the floor.
"Hey where's my helmet- Oh. Nevermind." He started before looking up again to see the dislodged colander sitting atop Lurch's grey haired head. Where he gave a small smile and stooped down for Wednesday to pull it off and set behind her.
"Wednesday, Pugsley, I needed to let you know we may have a visitor coming over later this week for dinner." Mr. Addams said as he stepped down to one knee.
"Oh that's always fun." Pugsley said, who then got a bright smile. "Is it cousin Itt?" He asked hopefully.
"No, no, but it is someone we will treat like a cousin. Like an Addams." replied Gomez with a smirk.
"Like an Addams? So they aren't? Is it a business partnership?" asked Wednesday as she let Homer crawl onto the top of her hand.
"Kinda." Gomez said as he gave it a thoughtful look, then thought better "No. Not that either. No. He's going to potentially stay with us a while though and I thought it best that you meet him."
"Who is he?" asked Pugsley curious.
"His name is Jeremy Hawthorne. He's a college student. Your mother and I decided we will board him while he goes to school down the road."
"But why?" asked Wednesday.
"I don't have to share my room do I?" asked Pugsley more importantly.
"Are we allowed to experiment on him?" asked Wednesday as she let Homer descend from her hand on a silvery web strand and start swinging like a pendulum.
"Why? Because we're Addamses. We follow our instincts, and go search for adventure. Or let adventure find us." Mr. Addams said to his two children. "And I believe there's quite some mischief to be had here this year. We've got plenty of extra rooms- well if your uncle didn't boobytrap all of them."
"As for experiments, you've got to check with him on Thursday night. That's his decision." he added quickly. Wednesday and Pugsley gave each other mischievous looks and then smiled at their father.
"Alright. Well then I have one more question." stated the raven haired girl as she pulled the spider up between her and her father's faces.
"And what's that Wednesday" he asked.
"What's for dinner?"
~Come thursday afternoon~
The week seemed to fly by pretty fast for Jeremy. He hung out with his friends in Palmer and gave his open invites to come see him in Jersey sometime. He also gave a few more permanent farewells as his friends Beck and Aniston were gonna move to Texas together. He also got some light mocking from his friends that were doing college a bit closer to home at Lafayette.
He was nervous, but was firm with his choices and today he was hopefully going to cement them. His dad replaced the ignition coils in the pathfinder and The Beast was ready to go. So he gave a thumbs up to his dad and Annie as he pulled out the driveway half past 3, and headed for Jersey.
He got to the Addams residence about ten till five and drove forward toward the gate to find no keypad. Nor any call button or anything of the sort. He peeked his head out the window and made sure to look around. He wasn't mistaken
Jeremy was about to step out of his car when suddenly the gate started opening on it's own, but there was no control box or wires or motor or anything connected it seemed as he drove past. Must've been something internal he thought to himself.
He followed some tire tracks in the gravel, he saw leading to the side of the side of the house and felt his car shift oddly as he was a little further in. In fact, it seemed like it was sinking. He looked over to his right and saw he actually was. He was tilting into a pit. A very deep pit.
"Oh, shit!" he cursed to himself and threw his car into reverse and tried to pull himself out before sinking in. When the gravel beneath the wheels wasn't giving way, he thought quickly and gritted his teeth. He threw the car back into drive and pulled all the way to the left and actually managed to power himself over and out of his little predicament.
"Oh my god." he said as he turned the car around and pulled over onto the flattest spot he could find. 'That would've been really embarrassing. Oh yeah I totally just buried my car in your yard. Hope you don't mind.' he thought to himself.
"...Pfft." he tried stifling a laugh. It would be pretty funny he thought. He turned off the car and got out, grabbing his blue blazer off the passenger seat and put it on. He wore a white collared, blue striped shirt with black slacks, and the blazer over it. He didn't want to be too formal, but also not underdressed. This is what he came up with as a bit of a fall between.
He walked to the front of the house and reached over to press the doorbell. He looked up and around almost instinctively as he heard a very loud HRRRRRR HURRRRR. The doorbell sounded like a Foghorn. He heard a click and turned around as the door creaked open to face something almost just as odd. Or maybe someone.
"You rang?" came the deep resonant voice of Lurch the family butler.
"U-Um… I'm here for dinner with the Addams family?" Jeremy managed to get out as he tried not to focus on the giant's partially closed steely grey eye. He cleared his throat and stood a little straighter.
"Hurgh." grunted the butler in reply and stood aside gesturing Jeremy in.
"Th-Thank you." he said quickly and cautiously stepped through the door. He looked at the crystal chandelier above him then around him. He saw nowhere to put shoes so he only had to assume there wasn't a rule against them in the house. Jeremy was always very conscious about that sort of thing when entering a new person's home.
He looked toward the butler as he closed the door and gestured toward the living room. Lurch walked amply down the few short steps and over what looked like a polar bear's pelt that spread across the floor. Jeremy eyed it curiously taking in that… well, it looked very well preserved; with glistening black eyes. Lurch took a left and disappeared through an archway.
Jeremy walked slowly down the short steps and around the throw rug, then looked up to see probably the most fascinating living room he'd ever laid his eyes on. That he Would ever lay his eyes on. It was like a clash between a gothic church, a roadhouse, and a museum all in one.
The walls were a deep salmon color with an almost floral, but royal textile to it. He looked around at all the oddities mounted to the walls. Plaques, and black and white photos. A painting or portrait here and there. A few mounted animals and weapons from all sorts of different civilizations.
He walked slowly as he gandered at a 7 foot tall stuffed brown bear with it's claws and teeth out menacingly. He took note of the grand staircase and doors that led who knows where. He decided, as awkward as it was, to wait in the living room. Hopefully they would come out to greet him, he was awfully nervous and didn't know how to behave in such a situation.
He'd found himself in quite the intense staring contest with a moose's head mounted above the fireplace. He took a brief moment to look at what was actually sitting on the fireplace mantle.
A few medallions it looked like (probably awards), a few odd earth stones such as quartz, topaz, obsidian and what he guessed was a himilayian salt lamp. Then he saw a few small skulls. 'Odd, must've ran out of room on the walls' Jeremy thought to himself and smiled with a small chuckle.
Then he felt something small… and fuzzy brush against his cheek. He first tried to catch it with his peripherals for fear of disturbing it but he couldn't see anything. He raised a few fingers up and brushed where he thought it was and found nothing. Might've been a feather or something. Then again he didn't remember seeing anything avian or anything feathered mounted.
He turned around instinctively to check and make sure the polar bear rug was still where he saw it. It was. It hadn't moved. That was a relief, before he quickly turned around again and looked at the brown bear. Making sure it hadn't moved from it's stoic standing position either.
Jeremy breathed out slowly and rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand. 'I need to calm myself' he thought. He was about to chop it up to nothing, probably just a loose hair or dust or something, but as he pulled his hand away something silvery white stuck to it. Then just above his brow, he met the dark eyes and fuzzy pincers… of a massive tarantula.