Chapter 5: First night with the Addams.
The rest of dinner went as smooth as could be. Jeremy got to learn all sorts of things about the Addams family lifestyle. He listened intensely at tales that sounded as tall as the west wing tower of the manor, but were sworn to be as real as the delicious steak he couldn't help but admit he loved.
He was astonished by all the bountiful business ventures Mr. Addams had embarked on. He owned plenty of odd businesses he'd started himself, a few he'd inherited, and a surprising hand in a few Jeremy never would've guessed.
"-so I agreed and it simply worked out in my favor. I hear that they're now in the process of marketing their next generation and I expect good things to come of it." Mr. Addams said as he scooped himself another mound of mashed potatoes from the bowl next to the steak and veggies.
"That's amazing. I love their stuff. It sounds like you've almost never made a bad business decision." Jeremy replied as he forked some green beans and carrots.
"Dad's luck is immeasurable" said Pugsley, chewing loudly on his steak.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that." Said Mr. Addams as he cut into his own and turned it over in the drizzled gravy. "I've surely had a few failures."
"No you haven't" countered Mrs. Addams.
"I'm sure I have" her husband replied.
"Mi amor. You're the luckiest man I know." she said turning to him "Making me the luckiest woman." she added with almost a purr to her voice.
"Cara bella… My love... " Mr. Addams started as he held up the hand of his wife. "My fire…" he said as he began kissing her hand, upward. "Only because you are by my side through the ebony night."
"Mon cher…" Morticia said in a hushed tone as she leaned closer to Gomez's face. "You charmer… You… Champion." she said, meeting his lips. Gomez leaned in closer, deepening the kiss.
Jeremy could feel his cheeks burning and he averted his eyes to his potatoes. 'Uh… wow.' he thought to himself.
"-Ahem. Mom?" came the monotone voice of Wednesday, getting no hint of response from either parent.
"Mom." She said quite a bit sterner. This seemed to do it.
Morticia broke away from her husband's lips and turned toward her daughter as Gomez's eyes seemed to drift to the ceiling with a toothy smile.
"Yes?" she said, then remembering they had a guest at the table whose face was quite red by now "Oh. Pardon my and my husband's manners."
Jeremy looked up from his plate at Mrs. Addams and cleared his throat. "Oh, um, no worries." he said with a small smile.
"Ah, Bubuleh." Gomez said still gazing at his beautiful wife in admiration "What in this lifetime would I do without you?" he then turned his attention to Jeremy "My boy, you learn quickly that the only kind of love worth having, is the kind worth showing to the world. Love you can feel not only in your heart, but your soul. In your eyes, in your feet, in your hands all the way to the fingertips."
Jeremy smiled as the wise Spaniard went on. "My cara mia, she means everything to me. If my luck has ever gotten me anything worth having, it's her and my wonderful children. There are plenty of treasures to be had in this world, and love might sit atop all else." Mr. Addams finished.
"Wow…" Jeremy said in light awe, or perhaps Aww. He hadn't decided yet. "...I completely agree." he said leaning back a bit in his chair. "That's really something… I hope I find something like that one day."
"My boy you are young." Mr. Addams said kissing his wife's hand before turning back to his meal "Time waits for no man, but that only means the closer you are to meeting destiny… Haha! Perhaps a girl named Destiny! Wouldn't that be ironic?"
"Only in the sense that fate can be just so crude humored." said Wednesday.
Jeremy couldn't help but smile at both these remarks. The Addams truly were something else, and he was absolutely floored by how much he wanted to be here.
After dinner there was still the matter at hand to be discussed and they did so in the living room, lit only by the fireplace.
"So, how do we feel about our friend Jeremy here?" asked Mr. Addams with a smile as he lit another cigar and puffed it.
"I like him!" said Pugsley enthusiastically.
"Well, I don't think it'd be terrible if he stuck around. Might be interesting." said Wednesday after a slight raise of her dark sharp eyebrows.
Mr. Addams smiled at his two children and then turned toward his beautiful wife.
"And you my beautiful raven?" he asked.
Mrs. Addams gave a thoughtful look and seemed to glide over toward Jeremy. She glided circles around him, almost like she was encircling prey. Inspecting it. Analyzing every fiber of his being.
It was only now he noticed that there was something odd about the hem of Mrs. Addams dress. That made it seem so smooth when she walked- or glided. I mean honestly who knew at this point.
What Jeremy had just come to notice was there was something coming out from under the floor length hem of her dress that hid it's ripples. There was smoke. The woman smokes as she walked/glided.
"I think we'd love to have you here Jeremy." she finally said with a smile as she went back to her husband's side.
"Good. Then it's settled. As of today Mr. Hawthorne. You are a part of the Addams household." Mr. Addams said with a clap of his hands, which Pugsley joined in eagerly. He was excited to have a new playmate.
"Thank you so much. All of you. You won't regret it." Jeremy said putting his hand forward which Mr. Addams grabbed firmly and shook.
"Well done my boy. Well done!" Mr. Addams said, shaking his hand. "There's just one last thing." he added.
"And what's that?" asked Jeremy.
"This. HeeYAH!" Mr. Addams said as he quickly pulled a butcher's cleaver out from behind his back, and swung it down, lobbing his own hand off at the wrist.
"AHHHH!" Screamed Jeremy as he held tightly onto the hand as it still shook just like it did when still attached to Mr. Addams.
"HahahahahaHaHaHA!" Mr. Addams laughed heartily.
Jeremy looked down in shock and horror at where Mr. Addams empty sleeve was, and now where his hand rested clenched in his own.
"Hahahaha!" Mr. Addams continued as he sprouted another hand back out from his sleeve. "That was a good one wasn't it?" he said as he wiggled his fingers and switched the butchers blade to this hand. His actual hand.
"Oh my-Oh my god that was awesome!" Jeremy yelled out laughing. "That's crazy. How'd you do that?" he said shaking around the hand still clutched in his.
"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Mr. Addams replied as he swung the cleaver down into a wooden pedestal on the table behind him.
"Ask who?" Jeremy asked confused.
That's when the hand released itself from Jeremy's grip and ran up his arm and perched itself upon his shoulder.
"No- No freaking way!" he started.
"Oh yes way!" Mr. Addams said before he gave a quick sharp whistle and the hand leaped from Jeremy's shoulder into Mr. Addams open palm. "Jeremy, I would like to introduce you to our residential disembodied hand Thing T. Thing. We just call him Thing for short."
"Wha- What is he?" Jeremy asked, still in shock from Thing being a living- well thing.
"He is a hand servant, from a line of hand servants that have served the Addamses for generations." Mr. Addams answered with a smile and a puff of his cigar, which he handed off to Thing who flicked the stagger of ash off the end cleanly before "handing" it back.
"Wow… Okay, but what… is he?" Jeremy asked again.
"A hand servant." Mr. Addams stated simply before walking over to Jeremy with Thing still in hand. "Jeremy, I'm going to be frank with you. There are a lot of mysteries in this world. A lot of things people don't understand or choose not to recognize. I'm not sure what you believe in or don't believe in, but it's often a matter not of what you believe in, but a matter of what is."
Jeremy listened intently, and looked down at Thing resting in Mr. Addams hand before meeting Mr. Addams eyes again.
"We as Addamses are not unfamiliar with the world at large. We are more often than not quite on the friendly side with it. See, even my beautiful cara mia. She's a witch." Mr. Addams said with another one of his toothy smiles and his dark eyes searching over his wife. "Grandmama Addams as well."
"So you're a family of monsters?" Jeremy questioned innocently. He wasn't afraid. If anything more fascinated, but he wanted to know. He needed to know.
"Haha. You flatter us. No we are not monsters, we are human. Then again, 'all monsters are human.'... Kind of."
Jeremy raised an eyebrow.
"Sometimes."
Jeremy held his questioning look. Mr. Addams sounded unsure.
"Sometimes they are something else entirely, but that isn't a bad thing. We have an expansive family filled with many different kinds of folk. We all have our own quirks, and I ask that you do not judge anyone by their abnormalities. We are proud of them."
"Mr. Addams… I wouldn't dream of it. I think it's spectacular." Jeremy admitted. This got a warm look from the entirety of the Addams family and thing crawled over from Mr. Addams hand, up Jeremy's arm again and atop his shoulder.
Thing lays on its wrist and throws up a peace sign which gets Jeremy to laugh again.
"Well, now that that's settled. We have to find you a room, my boy. Come. You and I will find one." Mr. Addams said turning on his heel with flourish. He headed down the hall to the lobby and Jeremy followed.
They headed up the stairs and Jeremy was given the layout of what rooms lay ahead.
"This one leads to the tower, This one is Lurches', this one grandmama hides in… a lot." Mr. Addams said as he took a peek inside then quickly pulled his head out with noticeably half of his cigar now missing.
"Moving on, now this is uncle fester's lab. Well one of them. No telling how many rooms that man has made into a lab or some sort of experiment. Shouldn't be impossible to find one, or disarm one." Mr. Addams continued.
"That is really cool. Do I get to meet this Uncle Fester?"
"Oh certainly, certainly. Once he's back from his trip that is."
"Ohh, where'd he go? If you don't mind my browsing."
"Not at all young man. He went off to the Michigan lakes. Apparently there's been some nasty business going on around there. Weird lights. Weird smoke. Weird noises."
"Ohhh… Yeah, that's weird. Is Mr. Fester a paranormal detective or something?"
"No, not at all. He just likes a good show." said Mr. Addams.
"Ohh… Speaking of weird smoke… Uh… Mrs. Addams. I couldn't help but notice she uh-"
"She likes to smoke."
"Oh. Nice to know I guess- I don't like cigare-"
"-No,no. Haha. I mean she likes to smoke. She smokes, herself. Trails behind everywhere and I love her for it. She burns just like the fires of my heart."
"Oh." finished Jeremy a bit surprised. 'That's...wow.' he thought to himself.
They both stopped in front of a panelled brown wooden door just before the turn of the hallway and they both looked inside.
"Yes. This ought to do nicely." Mr. Addams said stepping inside, opening the door fully.
The room had a dark oak floor panelling that had matching paneling about 3 feet up the walls. It was a mostly square room, save for a slant in the corner where a full length mirror stood. The room was actually already furnished with a queen sized bed with a dark oak frame, with a matching dresser to match.
The only out of place thing was the lamp that lit the room. It was a squat little gargoyle holding the light fixture, like a staff. Regardless, Jeremy thought it had charm.
The entirety of the room honestly was quite lovely. Everything was of rich colour, and looked very traditional. Sure there was dust about, but nothing a broom couldn't take care of.
"What do you think Jeremy?" Gomez asked as he swiped a finger across the dust covered dresser. "If you don't like the interior we could always change it up. I could have a contractor over here in 30 minutes."
"No, No Mr. Addams. It's great. It's perfect!" Jeremy said looking around. "It's really nice. I like it."
"Well then. When did you want to move in?"
"Uh, what day works for you? Class starts monday, so-"
"Honestly my man, we can do this tomorrow if you so wanted. Get you settled in this weekend, explore a bit more of the town. Go hang out with your buddy- the tall lad, Martin?"
"Tomorrow. Oh wow, yeah I can do that." Jeremy replied. His cheeks hurt from how much he seemed to be smiling. This whole day has been erratic mess with what felt like such life threatening situations, yet here he was smiling like he was just told he'd won a trip around the world.
This was a big step for Jeremy and he was ready. He was set for college. His car was back in working order. He was set with housing. His friend was ready to back him up when he needed him. Life was on the uprise for Jeremy, nothing could possibly-
Kra-Koom! The rooms window shook and rattled. Jeremy stepped over to it and pulled back the curtain.
Outside the sky was black and grey, behind the hard crashing rain that hit the glass pane.
"Oh… Man." Jeremy said.
"What? What is it? It's only a bit of rain?"
"Yeah, maybe, but the roads are slick and the bridges back into my town are still collapsed. That's cause of the rain last weekend I was here." Said Jeremy as he crossed his arms. "I swear. It's so bogus, it's going to take me forever to get home."
"Hm… or, now this is just a thought. You could spend the night here tonight." Said Mr. Addams as he looked out the window and up into the night. "Oh. Wow that's an angry one. I wonder what Grandmama did to piss them off this time."
Jeremy could feel his ears perk up at both suggestions.
"Really? And what happened last time?"
"Yes really, but you should call your mother or father first."
"Yeah, yeah. Okay I will, but what happened last time?"
"We don't talk about last time."\
Jeremy and Mr. Addams came downstairs and walked back into the living room where the rest of the family is.
"So everyone. There's been a bit of a change of plan. Jeremy will be staying with us tonight. We've got quite the downpour on us." Mr. Addams said to his family as he stepped through the doorway.
"That's fine by me bubeleh." stated as she sipped from a silver goblet embossed with red gems and raised structure that was shaped like a couple of bats.
"Awesome!" Pugsley said excitedly as he ran over to Jeremy's side and held onto his arm. "I can show you my room!"
"Whoopee." stated Wednesday as she looked out the window.
"I'll have Lurch bring fresh sheets up to your bedroom." Gomez said as he reached for a silver bell on the table where he'd left the cleaver. He gave it a quick jingle and suddenly
"You rang?" came the deep resonant voice of the family butler as he appeared behind Jeremy and Mr. Addams. He looked like he'd just taken a dive into a swamp pond. He was drenched and covered in what looked like moss.
"Oh dear, Lurch. I'm terribly sorry I hadn't realized it had started to rain." Mrs. Addams started. "I asked him to move Jeremy's car to the garage."
"My car? But-" Jeremy started as he fished into his pocket and pulled out his keyring "I still have my keys right here how did he?-"
"Our Lurch is more than capable. He's built strong." Mrs. Addams said with a devilish smile of her own and went back to sipping from her goblet.
"Ah. I'm sorry Lurch are you alright?" Mr. Addams asked looking up at the dripping black and gray man.
"Hurr…" was all he responded, before giving a wrinkled thumbs up.
"Good show Lurch, Good show. You can go ahead and dry yourself off, but once you're done will you bring fresh sheets to Jeremy's room?" requested Mr. Addams.
Lurch gave what Jeremy interpreted as a smile, and headed out the doorway.
"Well, the night is still just started for you youngsters, but Beautiful here and I must be off to bed for the evening. You guys have fun and stay out of trouble you hear?" Mr. Addams said as he took the porcelain hand of his beautiful wife and they headed out the doorway, and toward the staircase.
"Wow… your parents are really cool." Jeremy said to Pugsley and Wednesday as he sat down on the couch.
"They're alright." Pugsley said grinning "So, what do you want to do?" he asked Jeremy.
"Uhh… I don't know. Do you guys play any video games?"
"No, not really. Neither of us have really gotten around to it. We have movies though."
"Eh. Kind of boring. How about board games?" Jeremy asked hopefully.
"I have a game we can play." Wednesday said.
"What's that then?" asked Jeremy. His eyes wandered over back to Pugsley who made a bit of a face.
"It's called… 'The Other Side'"