Green Giants

A bipedal beast lumbered out of the giant door frame after it nearly kicked the door down. Once it came into the daylight, Brent could see its monstrous form fully.

This beast had hulking muscles that was contained by taught, leathery green skin. It walked with a hunched form that nearly made its knuckles drag across the ground. It seemed to wear a covering of metal that served as its armor, while it carried a crude, heavy, and sharp sword capable of cleaving many things in half, or giving tetanus to any victims that somehow survived a hit from the weapon. The weapon, armor, and skin was covered by many scars, perhaps from fighting with some beast more terrible than it. It had a jaw containing dangerously sharp teeth, and two large teeth that tusked upward in an underbite. Moreover, it had beady eyes that was a sickly red color which seemed to exude murderous intent. Its facial expression was one of annoyance and violence.

It looked left and right slowly as it scanned its environment. After a few seconds passed it began to growl out at the offender that knocked on his door. "Kome on out, 'umie. I know I heard yer squak'n at ma door. Might as well showz yourself."

Brent was too terrified to do anything. All he could do was watch this monster in his fear-induced paralysis.

The brows on this monster furrowed. "Alright den, how about dis? If I ask yer real polite like to kome out, den I promise I won't chop both yer legs off. Sound fair?"

Silence answered the giant green monster. Brent was not about to acquiesce this creature's request. Besides, what if this monster found out that brent had no legs to chop off? That might make it more angry!

The beast then roared out in a shout. "YOU'RE MAK'N ME ANGRY, 'UMIE! IF YA DON'T KOME OUT RIGHT NOW, DEN IZ GONNA FETCH MA GITFINDA AN' FIND ME A GIT DAT'S GONNA GET HIS LEGS CHOPPED OFF!"

Brent would have pissed his pants if he had a bladder. Or pants.

The green giant snarled all around itself . "Fine. Konsida 'dat yer last warn'n from me. Once I find ya, I'z gonna chop both yer legs an use em as fish bait." It turned around and headed back to its residence, only to stop for a brief second. It groaned in exasperation as it palmed his face. "Wait a minute. Zog it ta bits, I forgot 'dat Grashnik took ma gitfinda." It turned around and inspected its surroundings again, this time walking towards Brent and with a gnarled smile on its face. "No matta. I'll find yer 'da ol fashioned way. Us'n ma peepaz."

The green giant rummaged through the collection of fishing equipment that was all around Brent. Second after second went by as Brent held his breath, anticipating the moment that this monster would find him. Brent dreaded the thought of what this monstrously large green monster would do to him if it discovered him hiding within its fishing nets. Such a powerfully strong giant could easily crush Brent with just its bare hand!

"Gorggat, wot are yer do'n look'n throo our fish'n equipment?"

Brent slowly turned to find another monster Brent had never seen before. It was much smaller than the green giant, but it was hunched over and had gangly limbs. What it lacked in tusked teeth, it had a long nose that was tapered to a point. It wore tattered red cloth for its clothing while it carried a sack over its shoulder. It had several knives holstered beneath its clothing.

The green giant, supposedly named Gorggat, gestured to the newcomer by pressing a finger to his lips. "Shut yer spitt'n gob, ya grot. 'Der's a 'umie around ere!"

The littler green thing, that Brent would assume would be Gorggat's servant or slave, tilted its head. "A 'umie? Around ere? But Big Boss Bonebita said 'der ain't supposed ta be any 'umiez on dis planet!"

Gorggat snarled as he continued looking for humans supposedly hidden in his pile of fishing gear. "Well whateva Bonebita said, 'e's wrong. I heard a 'umie jus now, squak'n at ma front door a minute ago!"

The smaller green creature chuckled. "Are ya sure it wasn't jus 'da wind a minute ago?"

Gorggat looked behind himself once more, this time his patience wearing incredibly thin. "I'll stomp yer head 'n if yer keep teas'n me like dat." Gorggat then sighed as he exhausted his search trying to find any humans in the pile of fishing equipment. "... I guess da 'umie ran away when I wasn't look'n. Grashnik iz not gonna live dis down if 'e hears dis."

"There will be time ta tell storiez about hear'n fings 'n da wind. Gretchin kame back wit' some good stuff found from 'da mushroom fields!" The smaller green creature said, throwing a sack down from his shoulder and opening it. Brent assumed that this smaller green creature was supposedly named Gretchin.

Gorggat walked up to Gretchin and inspected his haul. He looked inside, but his expression soured. "Wot's dis?" He reached into Gretchin's bag and pulled out what looked like a bloody potato, looking at Gretchin accusingly.

Gretchin seemed to cower before Gorggat. "Please, Gorggat! It was all gretchin kould find! Snotlings aren't gett'n gud at find'n da best eats 'n da da fields lately! Dey keeps gett'n kilt an' eaten by da choppa birds! Dey sometimes hunt snotlings for sport too! Keeps kutt'n off dere limbs an' pull'n dere heads off just for fun!"

Gorggat threw the bloody potato to the ground and reached for Gretchin and his haul, hoisting Gretchin up by his neck. "You're whin'n too much, Grot! An' ya know wot? I fink it's time we start us'n otha types uv bait for once! GROT FLAVORED BAIT!" He roared a laugh.

"NOOOOO~!" Gretchin scrabbled and scratched at Gorggat's meaty arms, but was incapable of freeing himself from his hold.

Gorggat and Gretchin were now inside the jagged red building, and Brent could hear slightly muted screams of fear, which was slightly drowned out by the manic and bloodthirsty laughter of a large sociopath. Brent stayed still for a minute before he decided to slowly slip out of the net that saved his life. "Oh... That... Was... Close." He whispered to himself.

His eyes settled on the strange green spud with the blood on it. It was quite strange looking, since it was the weirdest potato he had ever seen before. Despite the questionable coloration it had, Brent couldn't help but feel drawn to it for some reason. Was he hungry already? He only ate two fruits and a bird, yet that felt like an hour ago. He was looking at the spud with curious hunger. Should he?

But before he could mull over his decision any longer, the wind shifted. He caught its scent and didn't even realize it. It was a strange combination of things. Like meat and mushrooms mixed together somehow? His body reacted to the scent and he consumed the bloody spud in one bite. It tasted raw and coppery, but it also tasted like a musky vegetable. It was the strangest combination of flavors he had ever tasted!

But Brent regretted consuming that spud, as he felt something becoming produced from him. Unfortunately, by consuming the strange spud, Brent had unintentionally created a plort. A thought dawned in his mind. If Gorggat discovered that Brent had left a plort here, then it would be likely that he would track Brent and hunt him down. Brent decided that he was not going to leave the plort, for he knew it would give the green giant a reason to go search for Brent.

Sadly, Brent had no hands to pick up the plort. Luckily, he could push it around using only his own body.

Brent tried to be as quiet as he can, despite the 'clink' sounds the plort would make when it was knocked into a stick or rock. However, he would also have to return to the other plorts he made earlier and hide them too, or else he would risk that green giant discovering that he was not alone.

Prelude 3

It was early in the morning on this planet. The sky was a bright blue, while the horizon was tinged with a neon teal. The ground was comprised of a dead coral that was now a deep orange color, yet all around, there was an abundance of life. It was hard to imagine that this growth formed an impressive shoal a long time ago, when humans had yet to visit the Far, Far Range. As Brent exited the Lab that was shaped like a barn, he took in air with great lungfuls. Never before in his life had he smelled air that was so clean! And so fresh!

After a satisfied exhale, he adjusted his travel backpack and walked on, his sudden wanderlust taking hold.

"Hey ladies. Look. Our investigator is here." A gruff voice said.

Brent paused before turning to look behind himself. He had barely left the Dry Reef Ranch's Lab, yet he could has sworn he heard some voices.

"He looks a little lost. Should we help him?" A different, snooty voice said.

"Well duh. We were paid to help him find our missing rancher. Hey! Up here!" Said another voice, this time sounding more peppy.

Brent looked up and was surprised to see three people on the roof of the Lab. He was also surprised to see the three people he was asked to meet were up there. "... What?!"

A blond haired woman with two buns looked down at Brent. "Hi! You must be Investigator Brent Stormford!"

Brent blinked a few times. "... Yes. You must be..."

The blond woman gestured to herself and to her friends. "I'm Dr. Tiffany Glasstalon. However, feel free to call me Tiff! The sourpuss next to me is Sam, and the tough dude next to her is Rob."

The snooty girl rolled her eyes as she brushed her hair out of her face. "Dr. Samantha Samarin, actually."

The gruff man sighed and rolled his eyes, wiping the sweat from his bald head. "Robert Rodman. The 'dude', apparently."

"Ah." Brent replied, somehow a little exasperated. "The other members of the investigation team I'm supposed to join with. But uh... one quick question. Why are you all on the roof?"

Robert pointed at Tiffany. "It was her idea. I didn't want to be up here, but she made a convincing argument. Being up in this position does provide me a good view of the land."

"And you?" Brent asked, gesturing to Samantha.

Samantha sighed tiredly. "She wouldn't shut up unless I came up here with her."

"There was also a Tarr outbreak earlier, which is also why we are up here." Tiffany added.

"Tarr?" Brent asked. He looked around himself quickly, but was glad to find nothing dangerous to him in the immediate area. "I don't see Tarr slimes down here. Or did they move somewhere else?"

Tiffany sighed in relief. "Ah good. If you can't see them down there, then that means they all must have expired by now." She then jumped from the Lab's roof and floated downward, while the thrust of some machine exhaled as she made her descent.

Once Tiffany made landfall, Brent tilted his head and looked at Tiffany in a curious manner. "Expired?"

Tiffany nodded excitedly. "Yeah! When a slime turns into a Tarr, they have about an hour before they explode into a flash of colorful steam! Of course, there are other ways to deal with the Tarr. The fastest methods is tossing them into an incinerator, throwing or pushing them into the Slime Sea, or dowsing some water on them. You see, when a slime consumes too many plorts, their molecular structures inside of their bodies undergoes a rapid metamorphic change that increases their metabolism to extreme levels. Their heightened metabolisms become so uncontrollable that they will crave any kind of animal in their vicinity, including chickens, ranchers, and even other slimes. However, if they get their mouths on a slime, then they would turn that slime into another Tarr. It's actually an effective way to decrease slime populations, since the slimes can spawn in hundreds of their numbers and make certain areas quite impassible. On the bright side, at least we have a few gadgets that'll get us-"

"Tiffany." Samantha said plainly.

Tiffany looked up at Samantha and paused for a few seconds. "... Oh. Right. I was rambling again, wasn't I?"

Samantha held a finger and a thumb close together. "Just a tad."

Robert shook his head as he took his turn to float to the ground. "Before we start our investigation and get this team going, we need to make sure you're kitted up first."

"Kitted? For what?" Brent asked.

Samantha sighed as she too floated after Robert. "My gosh, did you really come to this planet without any preparation? Not even a brochure?"

Brent shrugged. "I'm sorry, but the 7Zee Corporation hired me to find someone that had went missing. Admittedly, if I was informed that I would have to defend myself, I would have brought a weapon."

Samantha chuckled haughtily. "A weapon?! No no no, it doesn't work like that. The 7Zee Corporation doesn't give weapons to anyone living on the Far, Far Range."

Brent stared at Samantha, quite surprised by her reaction. "... So if you don't have any weapons, what do you use to defend yourselves from the aggressive slimes and the Tarr?"

Robert went up to Brent and patted his shoulder. "We don't use weapons, for one." He then gestured for Brent to follow. "We use the same tools used by the slime ranchers. Guns that shoot projectile weapons simply passes through slimes like molten iron through a thin, solid sheet of warm butter. Freeze them and they'll become immobile 'slimecicles'. That is until they start thawing. However, only most types of slimes would freeze solid. Incinerators, or anything hot enough and containing a strong enough electrical charge, would evaporate a slime instantly. Too bad we don't have the fuel to burn or energy to use, else we'd have flame throwers with us. Sadly, certain breeds of slimes are immune to being cleansed by fire, and we don't have the tech or the means to fashion a Tesla Gun. I did ask the big wigs if we could use weapons that used chemical acids that could limit the slime populations, but they were more concerned about 'pollutants having negative effects on the environment' or whatever. I think they're more concerned about the slimes adapting to the acid chemicals and becoming 'Acid Slimes'. Heh. That'd be fun to explain to the big wigs back on Earth."

Brent nodded as he listened to Robert explaining how the weapons of humanity would be ineffective against the Far, Far Range slimes. "But things aught to have changed when the slimes turned aggressive, right? How did the ranchers adapt to them?"

"Easy. With great difficulty." Robert explained. "Despite the big wigs bitching about most ranchers arming themselves to defend against the aggressive slimes on this planet, slime plorts are still vital resources Earth needs. The 7Zee Corporation is probably worried that the slimes might stop making slime plorts one day, all because humanity is adding stress into their environment. You got a holophone with you?"

Brent nodded again and took out his holophone. "Yeah I do. Why you ask?"

"As of now, that holophone is about as effective as a walkie-talkie when it comes to communication range. We don't have cell towers on the Far, Far Range." Robert answered.

Brent stopped to look down at his holophone. "... Well damn. I guess I ain't calling my nan while I'm here."

Samantha went ahead of Brent. "My goodness, you certainly are fresh from Earth, aren't you? You're going to have to learn quick to survive on the Far, Far Range."

Tiffany walked next to Brent. "Don't worry though. We'll get you up to speed. Once we get you your own Vacpack, you'll like it here on the Dry Reef! ... if you don't count the dangerous slimes."

"Oh I'm about as excited to be here as you are." Brent said as he pocketed his holophone.

Brent and company had eventually came upon a settlement that seemed appropriate for a slime rancher to live in. It had been in some disrepair, possibly due to some negligence or that it was attacked by the aggressive slimes. Brent did hear that the slimes were most aggressive in the Dry Reef and in the surrounding areas. Oddly, the land appeared to be dotted with super hydro turrets and what appeared to be black beanbags on metal springs that were painted with sinister faces. Tiffany noticed that Brent was looking at the turrets and black bean bags. "Noticing our defense system?"

Brent pointed at the super hydro turrets. "I know the turrets are effective against the Tarr, but what's with all the fake Tarrs?" He asked, pointing at the black bags next.

Tiffany smiled. "Ah, the scareslimes. Those are there for when the aggressive slimes decide to invade us. They'll keep them back. For a bit. Until they become Tarr, that is. That's what the hydro turrets are for!"

"Let's get you inside before the aggressive slimes or the Tarr come around." Samantha said, opening a door to a small domed house. "The 7Zee Corporation has delivered a fourth Vacpack to us. You will have to be trained quickly before you use it."

Brent stepped inside the small house. He looked around and noticed an old smell. It was a smell that usually accompanies houses that hadn't had human life live inside of them for a long time. "Who's house is this?" Brent asked.

"We are in Beatrix LeBeau's habitation unit." Samantha answered.

Brent looked at Samantha with surprise. "Really? Would she mind if we stayed in her house?"

Samantha shook her head. "This is just a temporary arrangement, but that can change once we find Beatrix LeBeau. The nearest settlements owned by other ranchers could provide us with a place to sleep, but the teleporter network has been malfunctioning as of late. In that same vein, using a tent outdoors is dangerous. You would never know what kind of hungry critter might decide to pay you a visit during the night. Ms. LeBeau's habitation unit is our only surefire defense against an invasion of hungry largos and Tarrs."

"Ah. I see." Brent nodded.

"Heard of T-posing?" Robert asked.

Brent turned around and saw that Robert had a spray can pointed at him. "You mean that dumb thing kids used to do in high school?"

Robert rolled his eyes. "Just stick your arms out like you were a scarecrow. Also, close your eyes and don'tbreathe or this will sting."

Brent paused, but nodded as he lifted his arms and closed his eyes. "Okay, but what are you doing?"

"Making sure the slimes don't eat you up. This anti-adhesive will ensure that you survive from a bite or two." Robert answered.

Brent couldn't help but notice the smell filling his nose. After Robert was done, Brent looked down at his coat. "... Wait a minute! This is cooking spray! Why the hell did you coat me with cooking spray?!"

Tiffany giggled at Brent. "It's because slimes have very sticky tongues! You see, when a slime finds food, their mouth will engulf it, but at the same time their tongues will come in contact with the food too. Their sticky tongues were believed to be an adaptation developed to hold their food in place before being processed for ingestion."

Samantha rolled her eyes. "Which is a nerdier way of saying 'chewed and swallowed'."

Tiffany smiled. "And as the nutrients become absorbed by the slime, the old nutrients and waste byproducts are expelled, which in turn are turned into plorts! Slime ranchers all across the Far, Far Range use non-stick clothing when ranching slimes, but in a pinch they would use cooking sprays to protect themselves from being eaten by some hungry largos, or by the Tarr." Tiffany's smile then faded. "Believe me, Brent. Getting turned into a bunch of plorts is a horrible way to go."

Robert was then finished spraying Brent. "There we are." Once Robert was done, he placed the spray can to the side. "Just a heads up though. Even if your clothes have been sprayed with an anti-adhesive, it doesn't mean you are immune to injury. You'd survive about five chomps before you'd pass out from the pain."

Brent looked at Robert with a raised eyebrow. "Yeesh! Next thing you're gonna tell me is they have teeth!"

"Oh, they do. They're just hidden very well. You can't see them, but you can feel them when they bite down on you." Robert replied.

Brent stared at Robert for several seconds. Robert's expression was one of seriousness, which meant he wasn't joking. That, or he experienced the bite of a slime in his unspoken past.

Samantha sighed at Robert this time. "Oh don't scare him." She gestured at a computer terminal. "Your holophone might have limited use while you're here on the Far, Far Range, but this communication terminal will help service your communication needs. Starmail helps ranchers connect with each other, and even to people back on Earth. But before you start messaging people, we'll need to give you one vital piece of tech you'll need during your stay here. We have been instructed by the 7Zee Corporation to give this to you."

Samantha pointed at something that was on the bed. Brent looked at it and saw that it was a high-tech backpack that had some kind of complex device connected to it, while a pair of clean boots was set atop the device. The gun was the vacpack's vacuum gun, which had the capability to suck in small objects using a vortex of sucking wind. For reasons that Brent couldn't understand, the backpack of this device looked exactly like the abdomen of a bee. It even had the yellow and black coloration that made it look similar to the pollen-collecting insects! Whether it was a design choice that the 7Zee Corporation had agreed on, or if this was a hand-me-down whose creator had a sense of humor, Brent wouldn't have known.

Brent then took the time to look at the Vackpacks that his current company had. He saw that Robert had a Vackpack that was white and blue. Samantha had a Vacpack that was light and dark gray, which matched her glasses, and Tiffany had hers painted light pink and black. Brent pointed at the Vacpack on the bed. "Why does it look like a bee's butt?"

Robert rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I wasn't too excited when I got my first Vacpack either. But hey, do some errands with some ranchers, earn a few newbucks, and you can have it colorized to your specification. Just be thankful that the 7Zee Corporation took the initiative and fitted it will every upgrade you could get from the Vacpack Upgrade Terminal."

Tiffany nodded with a smile. "Yeah. Bullets might pass through slimes with no effect, but the slimes are greatly affected by the elements of wind and water! The Vacpack is capable of using both, and is able to store a hundred of any type of item in its four inventory slots, plus a hundred units of water. Each Vacpack even has a built-in radar and flashlight! Anytime you are lost or in the dark, the Vacpack will help you out!"

"Not to mention it can be combined with jetpack propulsion technology that can help you hover through the air, or get you to places that would normally be impossible to reach on foot." Samantha added.

Robert pointed at the Vacpack and gestured to Brent. "It also has vitality sensing equipment and a special distress beacon. Should the Vacpack's vitality sensors detect that you have been knocked out, the Vackpack will activate its distress beacon. The nearest Automated Rancher Recovery Robot will then bring you back to this settlement to recover. If there is one thing I want to stress saying to you during your stay on the Far, Far Range, it is this: Don't ever leave this building without your Vacpack."

Brent looked at the Vacpack with slight consternation and thoughtful contemplation, reminded of Beatrix LeBeau's absence. How did she end up missing in the first place? If she was incapacitated and was somehow removed of her Vacpack, then Brent would have suspected malicious intent. However, from Viktor's testimony, Beatrix sounded like a kind and inspiring person, and was very unlikely to make enemies. In order to find Beatrix, Brent knew that he had to understand her character and personality first. He looked at each member of his new investigation team. "Are there any acquaintances, associates, or persons of interests that know Ms. Beatrix LeBeau?"

A/N: Buzz buzz, now Brent has a bumble-butt.