Chapter 13

After her trip to the conference, Margaret visited Miriam in her salon for her usual Thursday afternoon appointment. She was curious about Miriam's visit with Martin and his family but felt it wasn't her place to pry openly. She needed to be more circumspect so she casually mentioned the weather as they walked toward the sink for her shampoo. "It certainly has been warmer than usual this winter, hasn't it?"

"Seems 'bout normal to me. It's always nice here in the winter … better than England, that's for sure."

Miriam wrapped a towel around Margaret's neck, "Where did you live before you moved here Margaret?"

"We were in London, and yes you are right, the weather is much more agreeable here."

Miriam massaged the back of her neck as she worked on her shampoo, reminding Margaret of the massage she had experienced last Friday at the resort, and she felt her body relax at the memory. What did it matter if Miriam had a good visit with Martin and Louisa or not. She really needed to let go of this fantasy of hers that they might reconcile. It was time.

Miriam had noticed the change in her client, the release of tension in her shoulders. "Ah. That's better. You were wound tighter than my gramma's girdle on a Sunday morning. Rough week?"

"No, no. It was fine. I was just thinking about one of my friends. Her daughter is expecting a baby in May, and to tell the truth, I find it so tiresome when she natters on and on about how excited she is." Now why did she say that. It can be customary to confide in one's long-time hairdresser, but she hadn't been with Miriam more than six months, entirely too soon to be sharing confidences. "This shampoo just felt so good, so relaxing."

"Yeah, that's my goal. I like my clients to feel like they've been pampered when they're here. So … your friend is expecting a grandchild. My Louisa is expecting her second in a month or so as well. Do you have any grandchildren Margaret? I don't think you've ever said anything about your family."

"No …. No grandchildren. Not that I wouldn't like some, but it's not meant to be, I'm afraid." She responded with a wan smile and a hint of despondence.

"And why is that, may I ask?"

"Oh", Margaret waved her hand in the air. "Our son is one of those men married to his work. I don't think he has time for a wife, let alone children."

"Mmmm. I know the type …. But you never know. He might get hit by a bolt of lightning one day and fall head over heels. I think that's what happened to Louisa's husband."

"Perhaps", Margaret replied dubiously as she moved restlessly in her chair. "This conversation is getting a little too close for comfort. I need to move it along, although … I might as well ask her how her weekend went."

Miriam rinsed her hair and wrapped it in a towel and they walked back to her chair. As Margaret settled into the chair, she casually asked, "Speaking of Louisa, weren't you away for the weekend … to visit with her?"

"Yeah, went to visit Louiser and her family down the coast. Just one day." Pointing to a new picture on her mirror, she added, "They were at a medical conference. Paulo's niece went down to mind James for the first night's formal dinner and took this picture of the three of them before Martin and Louisa went out." She reached over and handed the photo to Margaret.

"My, James is quite an attractive little boy. You must be proud of him. Louisa looks to be in good health. I assume all is satisfactory with her pregnancy." She felt compelled to respond to the picture politely. It occurred to Margaret that Miriam was "nattering on" about her family and hoped that she didn't think Margaret was referring to her when she complained about her friend.

"Yep all's well in that department. It was good to see her and James. He's getting so big, three and a half you know, a bundle of energy and a sweet boy. Nothing like his father, 'Mister Grumpy'."

She returned the photo to Miriam, "Oh dear. Was your visit unpleasant?"

Miriam tilted her head and shrugged, "Not really. I took them to one of my favourite places, a lovely garden with a small natural history museum attached. Louisa and I were able to enjoy the flowers whilst Martin led James through the museum. That worked out well."

"Mm. That's nice."

Margaret rested her eyes while Miriam started to comb out her hair and trim a few loose ends. She really had no desire to hear every little detail of Miriam's visit with her daughter's family, and she was able to let her mind wander as Miriam used her blow dryer to style her hair. Martin did seem willing to spend time with his son. Was that something he wanted to do, or was it because Louisa insisted? From what she had seen, he didn't seem to be under her thumb; they each seemed to tend to James in equal parts when she watched them leave the pool for lunch, Martin insisting that Louisa wash him under the shower and then taking over to dress him and groom his hair whilst she rinsed herself off.

Of course, one never really knew what took place in another's marriage Her friends frequently remarked to her how lucky she was to have a man who adored her. And yes, even now he was still quite attentive when they were in public. He knew that other men admired her and she knew that his outward solicitousness communicated to them that she belonged to him. He was always helping her with her wrap, holding her chair for her at dinner, ensuring that her wine glass was always full and dancing with her whenever the occasion arose at the club or the periodic conference; and she enjoyed the attention.

In private it was a different matter; she might as well have been a picture on the wall or one of the dining room chairs for all the attention he paid her. Neglected, that is how she had felt for years once he abandoned her bed right after Martin's birth for the delights of other sweet young things. No one really knew the pain he caused her, and no one ever would. Her pride wouldn't let slip her façade of the proper society matron. And his proprietary attentiveness didn't keep the other men away. She had had her fair share of lovers over the years, but none of them aroused her senses the way Christopher had before Martin was born. More than once in the past week, images of Martin with Louisa had crossed her mind, his attentiveness that went beyond Christopher's public attentions to herself. And Louisa's second pregnancy made it obvious that he hadn't abandoned her bed after James' birth. Margaret refused to acknowledge the twinges of envy for her son's wife that started to plague her. She told herself that it was only wistfulness for the loss of her own husband's attentions perhaps, certainly not envy of Martin's attentions to Louisa.

Miriam had just about finished and was putting on the final touches with the curling iron as she continued with her story. "Paulo's brother Miguel and his wife Caterina have a little tasca just a few miles from the resort where Martin's conference was held; I usually take Louisa there when she visits and I knew they would enjoy seeing her and James, so I took them there for lunch. It's not the most impressive place from the outside, but the food is just to die for." She stopped working on Margaret for a moment to let out a loud cackle. "Well I though Martin was going to explode when he saw the building." She lowered the timbre of her voice in imitation of Martin, puffing out her chest, "'We can't eat here. It can't possibly meet minimum sanitary guidelines. Louisa, you can't risk food poisoning at this stage of your pregnancy.' On and on he went, but finally Louisa gave him a look and he quieted down and followed us in.

"As soon as we passed through the door, Caterina saw us and of course there was hugging and kissing and all sort of fussing over James and excitement over Louisa's pregnancy. Martin stood just inside the doorway all tense trying not to touch the walls or any of the tables or chairs, and he stayed glued to the spot as Miguel led us to a table. I've told them about him before so they understood, but it was embarrassing for Louisa. Still it was all I could do to keep from laughing at him. Louisa had to go over and speak to him, take him into the kitchen to see how clean it was, and that calmed him down a bit. He was still cautious, but once he tasted their cooking, he was converted. Honestly, I don't know how she has the patience to put up with him sometimes. "

"He certainly does sound like an extremely difficult man." Margaret felt compelled to observe.

"Well, we dropped him and James back at the resort for James' nap and then Louisa and I had a real visit, did some shopping, had a nice afternoon break with some wine and a few nibbles … well, I had some wine. Louisa had some fruit juice, and we had a good talk." Miriam leaned back, gave Margaret a hand mirror and swivelled the chair slowly around to let Margaret inspect the results of her labour. "So, what do you think? Are we finished?"

"Yes, very nice. Thank you." Margaret felt better than she had all week. Her trip to the sea had removed most of Miriam's styling from her previous visit and she hadn't been able to restore her coiffure to its proper lines since her return. It was good to know she once again looked her best; just knowing that helped her navigate the challenges of everyday life in the community.

Still she was troubled as she left the salon. Why would Martin behave in such a childish manner? Of course, she herself had seen some of these small "mom and pop tascas" and had been reluctant to patronize them. She could understand his hesitation, but he had been taught better. He had always behaved at the family holiday table once he was old enough for school; and on the rare occasions he refused to eat what was in front of him, he was punished accordingly so that he never made that mistake again. He had never been a congenial dinner companion, but he had been raised properly with the best of manners.

She slipped behind the wheel of her car and snorted to herself. No, Martin had never been what one would call congenial, surly was a better descriptor of his personality. "Mister Grumpy" was what Miriam had called him. Undoubtedly, she called him something more colourful away from the salon. He had always been disagreeable, with his face twisted into a scowl or a sneer. Why would she expect him to be any more affable now?

He had been difficult from the very beginning, a cranky baby, always fussing. Only Joan had been able to soothe him. She could remember Joan and Christopher having rows about how to care for him during the first few months after he was born. Christopher insisted that Martin should be left in a closed room to cry himself to sleep, that he not be coddled. Martin needed to learn to be self-sufficient and that was how you trained babies. Joan thought he should be held and cuddled. For the two months she had spent in their home after Martin was born, Joan refused to kowtow to what she declared to be Christopher's misguided childcare directives. She would coo and speak baby-talk with him when he was awake, tickling his tummy and making him smile and laugh. When he was tired, she would sing soft lullabies, rocking him in her arms, to help him sleep. Once Joan left, the nannies followed Christopher's instructions and left Martin alone in his crib, wailing. Eventually he did learn to comfort himself, staying quiet until he fell asleep. Margaret had never felt any desire to hold or comfort the child herself, and she came to realise that Christopher was right. Having a child who rarely cried certainly made for a more peaceful household.

Martin remained a quiet child, rarely speaking and offering only brief answers when questioned. He made few demands of them and he never initiated contact with them once he left for medical school. They hadn't spoken with their son since Martin had refused to follow his father into the Navy, to serve his country for the five years that all Ellingham men had done for generations. Christopher had never forgiven him, and because of that rift, he had made this terrible marriage. There was no chance of reconciliation now.

xXx

Miriam watched Margaret leave the salon and thought back to her visit with Louisa. The two of them did have a nice afternoon once they dropped Martin and James off at the hotel. It was good to have her all to herself. They wandered the streets of the local village and found a small wine bar that served delicious assorted tapas and snacks.

With Martin and James back at the hotel for James' nap, she was free to address some of the worries she had about her daughter and the life she led with this surly surgeon. At first, they shared "James stories", how intelligent and accomplished he had become, his funny antics and amusing expressions, all the things that women share with one another about the children they love. Eventually Miriam turned the conversation to a blunt discussion about Martin. Miriam asking her point blank how her marriage was, given that Martin was such a disagreeable man, and Louisa made her usual excuses. "He's not disagreeable with James and me."

"Perhaps, but what do you call his behaviour at Miguel and Caterina's place then?"

"He was just concerned for my health and the baby's, is all."

"It was embarrassing."

Louisa hung her head, "Well …. Yes … he can be that way sometimes. But he means well."

Miriam peered at her daughter, "Does he? He acts so hateful at times … and he always has a scowl on his face as if the world and everything in it was contemptible."

She paused for a moment and then asked the question that was foremost on her mind, "Louisa, you would tell me if he was ever abusive to you or James, if there was anything wrong, wouldn't you?"

Louisa was taken aback, "Mum, how can you ask that? Martin is a kind and gentle, caring man."

"Yeah, right." She thought to herself. "Can't say I've seen any sign of that on this trip."

"Okay, he does have a temper, but his bark is much worse than his bite. In fact, he doesn't have a bite. He would never consciously hurt anyone, least of all James or me. He cares for us in more ways than I could ever tell you."

Louisa hadn't convinced her and Miriam gave her a sceptical look. "Words can hurt too."

"Okay, I will admit he is gruff sometimes … rude actually … often. And he can be insensitive. Sometimes he will say something that could be taken as an insult, but he doesn't intend it to be hurtful. I will admit it does bother me sometimes. But I don't think he can change, and I've learned to let it go most of the time. He's just being Martin."

Miriam tilted her head and raised her eyebrows in disbelief, then turned to signal the waiter for another glass of wine.

Louisa raised her shoulders in a sigh, "He warned me before he asked me to marry him that he was a difficult man, so I knew what I was getting into. But believe me Mum, underneath that gruff exterior, he is a good man, a very good man, and I do love him …. And he loves me."

'If you're sure."

"I am."

"I just don't know how you put up with him is all."

Miriam remembered the look in Louisa's eyes and the sly grin on her face as she replied, "He does have many redeeming qualities you know."

"I guess he must" is all she could think to reply, but she wasn't entirely convinced. You never stop worrying about your kids, that's for sure.