After that event, I dug myself even deeper into work. I was feeling amazing though. Even if I was working in broad daylight, the tiredness and the pain were buried deep inside me and I wasn't suffering from it, it was comparable to the itching of a small mosquito bite. Even my skin was less pale, closer to my natural color that was already pale but clearly not ivory either. I had to admit the evidence. Blood was something that I needed to stay strong and healthy now... But what could be the cost for Chizuru ? I nearly drained her completely, without even realizing it. I took a hairpin off her hair and pierced her skin with it. On purpose. What kind of sick... psychotic... Who does that ? Chizuru always had this effect on me, even when I was human. I was often losing control with her, speaking more openly, showing my emotions and leaving lovebites on her neck without noticing I was actually doing it. But what I did that day, that was a lot graver than little lovebites. The wound on her neck took hours to close since I ravaged it with my teeth without realizing it as soon as the blood started flowing. It looked like she had been attacked by a rabid animal...
To add to my angst, I was still receiving more bad news than good news on my desk every day. Betrayals by the dozen, refusing to answer the battle call. One good news though was that we could still count on the Aizu and more surprisingly, Sendai, who had demonstrated its allegiance to the SatCho and was now negotiating back to ally with the Bakufu. I didn't know why they decided to betray the enemy but it was a good thing for us. The Date Clan in the Sendai province was a powerful force. I also got a letter from the commander of the Yugeki unit, Iba Hachiro, who was also gathering his men to oppose the SatCho. Despite all that, our situation still was pretty gloomy and I couldn't wait for Kondou-san to be here and lead us again.
« Otousan. » I heard Haruhi call.
« Yes, Haruhi. Come in. » I said, lifting my gaze off my scribbling brush.
« I don't want to be a snitch, but Chizuru-neechan left with the small Rasetsu. » she stated, dancing on her feet.
« What ? » I gasped « Who ? When ? »
« Just now. I saw them whispering together and then they just exited the Inn. I know you don't like Chizuru-neechan to be alone with a Rasetsu so... I came to tell you. »
Chizuru... What are you playing at ?!
« Who is she with ? » I asked.
« The small one with the very long hair. » she said and I understood she meant Toudou.
At least it's not Sannan...
« Alright. » I said, standing up and putting my swords in my obi. « Do you know where they went ? »
« No... » she shook her head « they were whispering. »
« Surely Toudou can't leave the headquarters without notifying someone. » I said, heading out with Haruhi following me « Is another captain here ? »
« Nagakura-san is there, he's downstairs. »
« Good. » I nodded.
I got down the stairs and found Nagakura who didn't seem very happy but I didn't have time to check on him right now. I'll do that later if he still looks down. Anyway, Harada and Toudou were closer friends to him, they should be the ones to do it.
« Nagakura. » I called « do you have any idea where Chizuru and Toudou are ? »
« Ah, man... Saito, Hi. » he answered, his eyes looking everywhere except at me « Sorry, can't help you... »
« Don't lie to me. That's against the Code of Conduct. We are comrades. »
« Yeah... Well they didn't want to disturb you so... »
« Too late. »
« Maybe you should ask Sannan » he tried « he's Heisuke's commander now so... »
« I know you know where they are. » I cut him « I just want that information. »
And I doubt Sannan would be willing to give it to me. Not after how I sent him away last time.
« Okay, okay... » he sighed « they went to Chizuru-chan's old house. Heisuke visited it for her last time he was in Edo but Chizuru still wanted to go herself to see if she could find her dad's research on the Ochimizu and since it was already evening, Heisuke agreed to go with her. With the crime wave and everything, it wasn't safe for her to go alone. »
« What crime wave ? » I asked, my blood already freezing in my veins.
« Fuck, you don't know ?! » he yelled, surprised « I guess it makes sense with you locked up in work all the time... There are murders in Edo like... sick ones... No one wants to speak to Heisuke about it but... The victims, you know, look like they were attacked by beasts... »
« Do we have missing Rasetsu ? » I asked, perfectly understanding what Nagakura meant.
« Not according to Sannan... » he said « That's the worst part. It means that Sannan is probably covering something up. He must know something. I mean, it's his job to keep them under control ! And the victims... Well no one is accusing the Rasetsu yet but... Everyone's thinking about it... »
So you're telling me that Chizuru is out there, nearly at night, alone with a Rasetsu when there's a murder wave ? And no one is questioning the danger she might be in ? Is everyone out of their mind ?
Chizuru... Why do you need me to keep running after you all the time ? Are you enjoying it ?
« Where is that house ? » I asked Nagakura, my impassive mask on.
« Not sure... » he replied, uneasy « I know it's in the center town in Shitamachi so it could be pretty close but the center town is still big so... Can be anywhere, really. »
« I will never find her with only that information. » I snapped, already annoyed.
« It used to be a clinic. Maybe ask your way to the Yukimura clinic. » he said, hitting his clenched fist in his open hand.
« That's useful. » I nodded « thank you. »
I turned my heels, ready to get out when the door opened on Chizuru and Toudou, holding a lot of papers and books and smiling together. They saw me and both flushed in embarrassment.
Where were you ?! I was worried sick !
I stayed silent, not eager to let my anguish take control over my body. She was safe. There was no point scolding her. I had to stop being so harsh on her. I could lose her... It really was hard for me now to figure out when my anger was justified and when my Rasetsu nature was amplifying it.
« Hajime, hi... » she blushed uncontrollably « I went to my old house... »
« I know. » I simply said.
I saw Nagakura behind me in the corner of my eye , making signs, probably to warn them that I wasn't really happy about their little escape.
« You could have warned me. » I told her coldly.
Toudou understood that it was time to leave and he went away with Nagakura.
« I'm going to put all these in your room, Chizuru-chan ! » he said with a big fake smile while he was fleeing.
Chizuru and I stayed alone, silent.
« It's also to help you, you know... These notes might be very valuable... » she said eventually.
« I have nothing to object to that. » I shook my head « you could have just warned me and asked me to come with you. »
« You're deep in work all day... and Heisuke-kun was there to protect me. » she said with a smile.
« Toudou's a Rasetsu. You're not safe with him. » I objected.
« I sleep with a Rasetsu every night, Hajime. » she frowned « And Heisuke never attacked me. »
« And I did. » I finished her sentence.
« Hajime, that's not what I meant... » she sighed. « Rasetsu aren't as bad as you think... »
And they're not as good as you think either !
Calm down... Don't let your emotions cloud your judgement... She's safe. You're taking a path of anger and fear.
« Let me help you carry these. » I sighed.
With the pain gone, it was easier for me to calm down but I feared the moment the hunger would come back. If I hadn't drunk Chizuru's blood a few days ago, no doubt my anger and fear would have taken over me at that instant and led me to words or behaviors I might have regretted.
She handed me the books with a smile but I was unable to send one back to her. I just took the pile and brought them silently to our room, putting them with the rest, near our futon.