Chapter 26 – Edith
Edith sat in her office writing up her notes from the procedure she had just completed on Ellingham's wife. It was such a strange confluence of events that she, Ellingham's former fiancé, should have been one of the doctors on call the very day that his wife arrived five weeks pre-term in active labour. The other two doctors on rota were busy with other patients when the Ellinghams arrived; there was no one else available to perform the caesarean section, hence it was her responsibility to care for his wife. It was an awkward situation sharing such an intimate moment with Ellingham and his wife, but also fascinating. As uncomfortable as she felt initially, the situation was mortifying for Ellingham, of that she was certain. He had never been one to openly show feelings, yet here he was, sharing one of the most emotionally charged events in the life of a man and woman, and his former fiancé was essentially supervising. She leaned back in her chair and chuckled, the gods were definitely having fun with them today!
The tension that they had both felt eased as she began the procedure and concentrated on delivering their baby, a little girl. The baby was on the small side which was to be expected at five weeks pre-term, but she was healthy with a lusty cry. No half-hearted whimpering for this child with Ellingham for her father and an equally spiky mother. She remembered with chagrin how assertive Louisa had been towards her when they had first met right after they had announced their engagement.
She sighed as she thought about the look on his face as she placed the baby in his arms, oblivious to all but the baby. She had hoped, silly hope that it was, that he would be grateful to her for delivering to him a healthy baby, but no, he took the baby without giving her a glance, not even a thank you. Same old Ellingham, no manners whatsoever, part of his charm certainly. His wife Louisa, though, wasn't pleased and gave her a glance indeed, her eyes shooting daggers as if to say, keep away. That didn't stop Edith from shooting a smug look right back at her. Louisa may have won the war, but Edith knew she could still win a few skirmishes given the chance.
Ellingham had a gentle side though he rarely revealed any warmth towards the hospital staff, preferring to maintain a cold professional demeanour, demanding perfection of all he encountered. But underneath all that bluster hid a loving kind-hearted man, and that man shone through with the birth of his tiny daughter. And he was obviously devoted to Louisa, just as she was with him. She knew that the surgical team was surprised to see him behave so tenderly towards his wife, the terrible ogre Ellingham, a devoted husband. She was also certain that her team would be buzzing about it as soon as she left theatre. She wouldn't be surprised to hear snippets whispered throughout hospital corridors for the next week … or two. In fact, the news may have spread already, as the usual buzz out in the hall seemed louder than usual.
She took a break from her work to rest her head on her hands and stare into space, remembering. She sighed. His behaviour didn't really surprise her; she knew his gentle loving side. Once he reserved that part of himself just for her. She missed having someone look at her with such adoration. None of her other lovers, not even her ex-husband, had ever looked at her the way Ellingham once had. Why had she let him go?
They had begun their relationship as fellow students vying for the top position in their class. He was brilliant, but distant, lacking in empathy, destined for surgery. She herself was equally brilliant; hadn't she always been at the top of all her classes? But she had a quality that he lacked, the ability to show compassion for her patients whether she actually felt it or not; her career options were broader. They became study partners, challenging each other to master the material thoroughly. They had taken to studying in his rooms where they were unlikely to be disturbed by other students asking inane questions. After several weeks of intense study just before a comprehensive examination, when neither of them could think of another abstruse avenue to explore, she reached across the table and kissed him. She could tell that she had surprised him because he looked startled when she pulled away, but a moment later he pulled her face back to his and kissed her fervently. They ended up in his bed together. It was apparent that it was his first time with a woman, but he was a quick learner in the bedroom just as he was in the classroom and he never failed to satisfy her.
Even though she tried to keep it strictly sex, and the sex was incredibly amazing, there were times when she was touched by his tenderness. She knew he had fallen in love with her despite her efforts to keep their encounters strictly study and sex. She herself had grown quite fond of him even though she didn't love him. Love could derail one's career, and she had vowed never to let herself fall into that trap. However, when he proposed, she had accepted for practical reasons. She knew their alliance would be advantageous to both their careers if they were together. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. When the opportunity came to move abroad and study the latest in fertility treatment techniques, she couldn't pass it up. She had always been able to guide his career decisions in the past, and she had tried to convince him to apply for a similar opening in his field at the same research centre, but this time she failed. Ellingham had already accepted a post at St. Thomas', was unwilling to renege, and in the end, he had chosen wisely. He had had a brilliant career so far. It was the right decision for both of them. But there were still times when she missed being the centre of his universe. Her surgical staff might be surprised at his devotion to his wife, but she wasn't.
What did surprise her was that this child was his third. When they were together, when she had accepted his proposal, they had never discussed children. She had never had a desire for children and she was certain that he had never given a thought to having a family. When she returned to England, she tried to rekindle their relationship remembering the fabulous sex as if it had been just yesterday, not the years that had passed whilst she was away. And, if she were honest with herself, she missed his adoration. She had even given thought to marriage. They would make a formidable team, but he had rebuffed her advances. Had he really forgotten what they had meant to each other? When she happened upon Louisa in his office one afternoon and discovered that he was engaged to be married, she understood why he had rejected her efforts. She withdrew but approached him again off and on for a few years after in hopes he would tire of his wife and be open to an affair, or even a dalliance, but he never responded and she had finally accepted the inevitable. Even though they worked in the same hospital their paths hadn't crossed in several years.
She had never pictured him as a family man, going home to the little wife and children as so many of their colleagues did. He was a man of medicine, devoted to his calling. How could he have been distracted from his passion that was medicine to marry, and to marry outside of the profession. Had he lost his edge? It was inconceivable to her, yet here he was with his wife as she gave birth to their third child, cooing over both her and the child. How he had changed! Or had he? She remembered the poem he had written to her as a token of his love.
On my own, no more
The beat of my heart echoes in time with another
And now, sore with longing
It runs like a child to its mother.
She sighed, he was the only man who had ever written her a poem. He had an unfulfilled hunger for affection, and thought he had found it with her. She had treated his declarations lightly, laughing at his youthful enthusiasms, ignoring the depth of his need. She herself had always been able to manipulate him, he would do almost anything to make her happy. It was obvious that the power she had over him stemmed from his need for love, and now his wife had the same power. If she needed a third child to make her happy, then he would give her that third child. No … in essentials, he was still the same Ellingham, hard on the outside, but soft and malleable on the inside, desperate for love.
She roused herself from her reverie and turned back to her tablet to finish her notes, smiling to herself at her memories. Perhaps it was best that he had resisted her attempts to reconnect. She would never have been able to give him what he needed. If she had been more sentimental, she would have found Ellingham and his wife endearing. As it was, she found her encounter with them and the entire situation astounding, and well … completely, totally, and utterly amusing.