Chapter 33

Louisa leaned back against the head rest as she settled into her seat for the long train ride to Cornwall. Joanie was sleeping contentedly next to her in her Moses basket and Louisa gazed down lovingly at her infant and stroked her cheek. She reached over to adjust the blanket tucked around little Joanie and placed her palm lightly on her chest feeling the rhythm of her daughter's breath in and out, and then draped a blanket over the top of the basket to protect her from the unwanted attention of the other passengers.

Because the baby was originally due in mid-December, they had agreed that spending the holidays in Cornwall would not be practical and had decided to celebrate in their London home, but Joanie's early arrival made their usual holiday plans feasible, and Louisa was taking a midday train down to Bodmin. Martin was planning to drive down that night with the boys, and had arranged, with Simon's insistence, to spend nearly two weeks with the family at the farm. She was looking forward to having him mostly to themselves, a quiet family retreat from the pressures he experienced daily as head of his department, and this year the added stress of his parent's arrival. She hoped the break would do him good. They had arranged to have Joanie christened while they were in Cornwall and there were always the social events they usually attended, the Parson's Boxing day open house and the village holiday party, but they could pass on the last two if need be; everyone would understand with the new baby.

Satisfied that Joanie was settled, she turned her attention to Ruth who was sitting in the facing seat and rummaging about in her bag. "Thank you so much for coming with me Ruth. I told Martin that I would be fine on my own, but it is comforting having another adult with me … just in case."

Ruth looked up and replied, "I'm happy to do it. I was planning to take the train down tomorrow anyway. One day earlier won't make much difference."

Ruth returned to searching her bag. "Aha, just what I was looking for," she cried as she fished out a well-worn diary. "I need to write down a few thoughts for appointments I made just before leaving." She set it down on the table, flipped over a few pages, jotted down a few notes, then closed it up again and glanced over at the baby's basket, "I was somewhat surprised that Martin agreed to our taking the train. The baby is so young."

"We discussed it. Martin is satisfied that she still retains the antibodies that were passed to her through the placenta prior to birth and through my milk. So, she is protected from most germs by what they call passive immunity. Unfortunately, it doesn't last forever, and we will have to start her vaccinations a week or two after we return to London." She gestured toward the covered basket, "Still we want to shelter her from the other passengers."

"Yes," Ruth concurred. "By the way, have you booked a taxi to take us to the farm once we reach the station?"

"No, my friend Alicia will pick us up. We left Robert's infant car seat at the farm and she promised to pick it up and put it in her car for Joanie to use during the drive there."

"Ah yes. I was wondering how we were going to manage the drive from the station to the farm without it." She returned to her bag and pulled out a book, opened it up and then closed it again.

"Martin is driving down later today?"

"Yes. He will leave around 7 or so, assuming he doesn't have any last-minute emergency surgeries." Louisa screwed up her mouth and sighed, "He promised me he would assign any patients that came in this afternoon to one of his staff, but you never know."

Louisa drummed her fingers nervously on the table that was placed between the seats. Martin insisted that they take the first-class carriage and it was remarkably more spacious than the standard carriages she had booked when she was single. And even though there were only three of them, they had reserved all four seats so that they could have some privacy and so their bags would be at hand should the need arise for any of the assorted items that babies always seemed to need over the course of an afternoon. With an infant, they had been able to board early, but now passengers were crowding the aisles searching for their seats. Boarding was always a chaotic affair, and it was even more so on this Friday before Christmas. Louisa found herself leaning in toward Joanie as one passenger and then another struggled with their bags and packages as they made their way down the aisle. It was impossible to talk when such pandemonium reigned.

After most of the other passengers had found their seats and the carriage settled into a quiet hum, Louisa picked up their conversation where it had left off, "As I said, Martin is planning to drive down this evening. Emily, our nanny will stay with the boys this afternoon whilst Martin is at work, feed them dinner and get them into their pyjamas whilst Martin packs the car. I expect he will arrive well before midnight. I hope so anyway."

"That's late."

"Yes, but it's easier to drive at night when the boys can sleep. James is getting old enough to entertain himself in the car during the day, but Robert still gets restless, and Martin can only tolerate his whinging for so long; best to travel when he can sleep."

"I see." Ruth picked her book back up and opened it as the train pulled out of the station. After a few minutes had passed, she craned her neck to look down the aisle, then set the book down. "It appears the host is setting up her refreshment supplies. I think I will go get some tea. Would you like something whilst I am up."

"Tea would be lovely. Thank you."

Ruth rose and made her way to the Customer Host at the back of the carriage. While she was gone, Louisa stared out the window as the train rumbled past the edge of the city where suburban homes and industrial development thinned out to a more rural landscape with only the occasional warehouse marring the beauty of the english countryside. It was a view with which she was familiar from the year that she had made this journey monthly to visit Martin before they were married. She sighed, thinking about that magical time in their lives, just the two of them spending the weekends making love and getting to know each other. She remembered the excitement she would feel when she boarded the train to leave Cornwall knowing that soon they would be together, and then the emptiness she would feel when she had to leave him.

She loved their life together now, but the demands of both their jobs and the children could be exhausting, leaving little time for just the two of them to enjoy each other's company, let alone time for romance. Even those simple daily pleasures they had enjoyed in the early days, cooking together or working a crossword puzzle were luxuries now. Yes, they did make time to spend a few minutes together each evening talking over the day, but it was often less than ten minutes. And they did manage a date night every other week when they would go out to dinner, just the two of them to reconnect and to remember why they had fallen in love. There was also the occasional play or concert to attend, but they were usually accompanied by friends or hospital benefactors, which was enjoyable, but not particularly romantic. She had to admit there were times when she missed the excitement of that time when their love was new.

She laughed at herself, "What a hopeless romantic you are Louisa. You certainly don't miss the time you had to spend apart, or the drama surrounding your attraction to Michael, or your uncertainty about leaving the village." Looking down at her daughter, she thought, "No, life is good." And she had to admit that right now she was hoping for a few romantic evenings, just the two of them after the boys and the baby and Ruth had retired for the night.

"I wasn't certain what you wanted with your tea, so I brought you sugar and milk." Ruth set down a tray with the tea and several packets of sugar and milk and some complementary biscuits to nibble on.

"Thank you, Ruth. I brought an extra water bottle with me … have to keep my fluids up for nursing you know … as my husband reminds me daily … but this cup of hot tea will be wonderful. Thank you again."

"I suppose we should eat something more substantial than these biscuits. We can order some sandwiches if you'd like." Ruth reached for one of the biscuits and took a bite.

"I brought some sandwiches with me, chicken with gruyere and arugula on whole meal; there's two if you'd like one."

"Maybe later." Ruth took a sip of her tea and placed the cup down on the table. "Now that you mention your husband, he has been looking very tired lately."

"Oh Ruth. You know how it is with a newborn. Neither of us gets much uninterrupted sleep, and Martin insists on taking his share of night-time feeds."

"Really? And how does he manage that given that he is not equipped for lactation?" Ruth raised her eyebrows quizzically.

Louisa smiled and laughed, "I usually pump a few bottles worth during the day and store them in the refrigerator for the nanny, and for Martin, to use when I'm not available."

"I see. No need for formula then?"

"No. It works out well. But Martin needs his sleep. He always has."

"I'm sure he is used to sleep interruptions. Medicine, especially surgery doesn't always operate on a nine to five schedule."

"No, I learned that early on." Louisa agreed. "I just hope that he can relax and that we can spend some 'quality time' together. Maybe he and I can cook up something wonderful for dinner one or two nights whilst we are away. The fish is always so fresh in Portwenn and Martin loves fish. We used to spend most every night planning and cooking together and we haven't been able to do much of that recently."

Louisa reached for one of the biscuits as well, dunked it in her tea and took a bite. "Yumm. These biscuits are so good. I don't normally eat them anymore." She burbled on, anticipating their time in Portwenn. "Remember how Joan found Martin's childhood train set. He and the boys can set up the train around the Christmas tree; I love to watch the joy on his face when he starts the train on its run around the tracks. He enjoys it as much as the boys. And we can all take long walks along the cliffs or explore the tidal pools." She paused and gazed down at Joanie. "Well, maybe not with the baby."

She looked up to see Ruth's eyebrows rise in a sceptical look. "Yes, yes, I know it's winter, but we might have some pleasant days and even when it's blustery, the fresh air will do all of us good. I think it will be good for Martin to get a break from all the hospital stress."

Ruth took another sip of her tea and looked at her nephew's wife with affection. She had noticed something in Louisa's manner, if not her words, that told her something else was eating at her. She put her cup down and murmured, "I always thought that Martin thrived on the challenges that came with his work."

Louisa nodded, "Yes, that's true. He loves being a surgeon."

"So, it's something else."

Louisa looked out the window and sighed, "Yes."

"His parents?"

Louisa took in a sharp breath and closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. She should have expected Ruth, never one to tip-toe around a difficult subject, to bring that up. She had been debating for several days about how to confide her concerns about Martin and his parents with Ruth. How much should she tell her? She decided to just go for it. Ruth would wangle it out of her by the time they reached Cornwall anyway, "Oh Ruth, it's been so difficult for him having them back, and I'm so worried about him."

The older woman set her cup down and tactfully asked, "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"You know Martin. He's not one to share his feelings, but he has been tense ever since they showed up in his consulting room. Even his sleep is restless, tossing all night long."

She sighed and looked out the window again for a moment, envious of the sheep in the fields and their carefree life, and then continued, "And it's gotten worse. It eats at him constantly, I can tell. I want to help, but feel at a loss."

"Yes, I was afraid their presence was causing him anxiety. Martin did confide in me that his father is not responding as well as they had hoped. I understand that they have moved him to a rehabilitation facility, but that he is uncooperative. His prognosis doesn't sound promising."

"No it's not, and I'm sure that concerns him, but he spends very little time with his father. He said some very nasty things to Martin about us, me and the children, right after Joanie was born, and he avoids the man as much as possible."

"He's never even met you. What could he possibly say that would upset Martin so? No, I take that back. He could say any number of things just to hurt Martin. I don't know why he never took to Martin, but he didn't … always said he was a disappointment. I wonder now if it ever occurs to him that Martin has far exceeded his own accomplishments?"

She picked up the tea pot and filled her cup all the while muttering, "Probably resents his success."

Louisa glanced over to the sleeping baby, then nibbled on another one of the biscuits. "Like I said, he avoids his father, and he has complete confidence in the staff to do what needs to be done so there is no need to see him. The real problem is his mother."

"Can't say that I'm surprised, horrible woman."

"She was completely dependent on his father to manage their affairs and now she has bullied Martin into taking over."

"Bullied?"

"Okay, maybe not bullied. Martin wouldn't say that, but that's what it seems like to me. She told him it was his responsibility to help her out, so he's taken her to his father's solicitor to get her appointed to take over their affairs. And he has accompanied her to his father's financial advisor and banker to ensure that she can pay their bills and such, but she seems at a loss as to how to do anything."

"She's not as dumb as she pretends. She just doesn't want to be bothered with it."

"You're probably right, but that's not the worst of it."

Ruth twisted her mouth in a grimace, "What else is there?"

"Martin says that Margaret will be left with very little income once Christopher dies, only a small pension and a little capital. Seems his Dad has a substantial pension, which has enabled them to live a very comfortable life in Portugal, but she will receive only a small fraction of it once he dies, and what savings they once may have had, they have spent. She will have to sell their villa in Portugal and find more economical accommodations. Martin fears she will look to him for financial help. She has hinted that it is his responsibility, as their son, to support her."

"That's outrageous!" Ruth couldn't contain her anger. "It's the most absurd assertion I have ever heard." She suddenly realized that she was shouting and she lowered her voice, "He doesn't owe them anything! It's not as if they gave him anything of value."

"Well they did give him a good education."

"Noooo! That was all his grandfather's doing! My father paid for his schooling whilst he was alive and set up a trust fund for Martin in his will when he died. Christopher and Margaret did pay for his maintenance before he reached school age, paid for his nannies and fed and clothed him, but it was his grandfather who made certain he had a good education. How dare she try to blackmail Martin like that."

"Does Martin know that?"

"Of course he does. But he has always known that he was a disappointment to his parents, that he could never measure up to their hopes and expectations. He felt it, still feels it, very deeply. He may believe this is his last chance to make them proud of him."

Martin had told Louisa that something similar had happened in his dream. His mother had come to visit them after his father died and had asked him for money to buy an apartment in Lisbon, but he had refused her. He wanted to do the same now, but felt it wasn't the honourable thing to do. She wouldn't share that with Ruth of course, but with Ruth's analysis, it suddenly made sense to her.

She responded to Ruth, "Yes, I have always sensed that might be the case. But I thought that he had worked all that out with his therapy just before we were married. I know that he is terribly unhappy to have them back in his life, and he refuses to let his mother near the children."

"Good."

"She wants to see them, wanted to come over one evening to spend a few minutes with them, but Martin put her off. Of course, she knows James. It turns out she is a client of my mother's and she was in her shop one day when we were visiting. Mum was watching James whilst I ran some errands and she met him then."

"Ah, that's how he knew her when we went to visit you and Joanie that day in hospital. I'm surprised he remembered her."

"Ah yes, James is like his father, doesn't forget a thing. I haven't told Martin, but she called me just a week or so ago, inviting me to lunch saying it would be good to get to know each other. I declined of course, new baby, the holidays, and preparing to travel to Cornwall, all that."

"I wouldn't trust her if I were you."

Louisa was pensive, "No, I understand. But … I can't help but think that I should at least meet her, see for myself what she is like."

"Oh, I can tell you that she will be all sweetness and light, as charming as any well-bred London socialite could possibly be. She will worm her way into your life, hoping to get you on her side, hoping that you will convince Martin to help her. Beware."

Ruth continued, "Perhaps I can help Martin. Let me think on it. Margaret and I have never gotten along, but it may be time for me to intervene. She is perfectly capable of taking care of herself; I am sure I could offer her the encouragement she needs."

"Do you really think you could help?"

Ruth leaned back in her seat with a sly grin on her face. "Yes, and I might just enjoy it!"

They both sat quietly for a few minutes enjoying the scenery as it whizzed by until Joanie started to fuss. Ruth watched with fascination as Louisa swiftly changed the baby's nappy, loosened her blouse, and soon had her contently feeding. "I am always amazed how you can breastfeed your children with no one the wiser."

"I'm not so sure about that." Louisa chuckled as she looked down at the baby feeding lustily. 'I suppose I am able to drape a blanket so that you might think I am just cradling her in my arms … but I can't do anything about the noises she makes."

Ruth hadn't really thought about that. She cocked her ear in Louisa's direction and caught the distinct sounds of a small baby suckling, and breathing heavily between each swallow. "Well. She certainly seems to be enjoying her meal.

'I've been meaning to ask you … how was the hospital holiday gala this year? I remember Martin telling me he had run into one of my old colleagues, Peter Symington, whilst you were there. I didn't think you were planning to attend."

"No, we weren't planning on going if Joanie had made her appearance when scheduled. It would have been right around her birth and I definitely wouldn't have been up to it. But we were able to go, if only for a short time. You know how much I enjoy those festivities. We didn't stay very long, just for the dinner and an hour or so after. We were able to squeeze in a few dances as well. It was very enjoyable whilst we were there. I have some pictures in my purse if you'd like to see them."

'Yes, perhaps later. You know, I don't think Martin went to more than one or two of those galas before he met you. How did you ever manage to interest him in attending?"

Louisa grinned at her, a sparkle in her eye, "Oh, I have my ways."

Ruth responded with one of her own wry grins, "I'm sure you do."

She lifted the baby up to her shoulder to wind her and then placed her on the other side. "Martin did introduce me to someone named Peter Symington. He didn't tell me that you and he were acquainted. He seemed like a very nice man. How do you know him?"

"Oh … he was just someone I used to consult with at Broadmoor. He was a GP, held surgery hours twice a week for the inmates. They have the usual assortment of medical complaints just as any other population. He occasionally referred one of his patients to me and I would occasionally notice an odd symptom in one of my patients and ask him to take a look. That's all. It was a good working relationship. I haven't seen him in ages, but it's nice to know he's doing well."

Louisa grinned and raised her eyebrows, teasing, "Anything more to it than that?"

"No, not my type." Ruth responded dryly, then added, "Besides he's married to a lovely woman, another GP. I believe she worked in the hospital's out-patient clinic. Did you have a chance to meet her as well?"

"No. I believe he said he was there by himself."

Ruth looked puzzled, "That's odd. I never saw one without the other when they weren't at work. I do hope she is well. I'll have to contact him after the holidays. It will be good to catch up."

"Mmm" Louisa responded absently as Joanie pulled away from her breast, a sleepy contented look in the baby's eyes. "Oh no you don't, little one. Time for a burp before you fall asleep. I don't want you crying with a tummy full of gas."

Louisa lifted the baby to her shoulder and patted her gently on the back until she heard the belch she knew was coming. "There that's good," she commended her daughter, and she propped Joanie into a sitting position on the table in front of her, smiling and cooing at her and engaging with her in some motherly baby talk.

Ruth gazed over at her, responding to her interaction with the baby with a goofy grin before she pulled her book out of her bag in order to read a few more pages before it was time for lunch.