I've still got sand in my shoes,
And I can't shake the thought of you
I should get on, forget you
But why would I want to?
I know we said goodbye,
Anything else would have been confused
But I want to see you again
Dido, "Sand In My Shoes"
The next morning, Makoto helped pack Ami's things and together they went to Makoto's home. Makoto cancelled the rest of the week's classes at the dojo so she and Ami could spend Ami's last days being together as much as possible. After the last several days of rigorous training she put her students through, her classes were happy for the extended break. Makoto made a mental note to make it up to them.
The pair did as much as they could together, which really resulted in them just hanging out at Makoto's place. Makoto had threatened Shinozaki that if he threw another party before Friday she would flay him alive and he had since made himself scarce. He knew, of course, how Makoto felt about the younger woman and how short their time together was, so he did his best to stay out of their way.
But time went by too fast and Thursday upon them. Makoto tried to make it special; she fed Ami breakfast in bed, made Ami her favorite lunch, and then took her to pier for dinner.
But as the day crept on and the sun sat, Ami's apprehensiveness returned. She would be leaving tomorrow morning. The last couple of days had been so wonderful. It gave her an insight of what life could be like, living with someone you loved and who loved you in return.
But it was a bubble. And that bubble was close to bursting.
When they returned home, they made their way through the darkened house towards the bedroom. They had spent most of their time there.
"Go ahead," Makoto said, lightly touching Ami's arm. "I'll be up in a sec."
Ami nodded, curious, but went ahead alone. She made her way up the stairs to Makoto's spacious bedroom. She remembered when she first set foot in here; their first date, though Ami kept insisting it wasn't. She briefly thought about the young man who had dashed past her to use the restroom on the second floor. Had he not been ready to puke, she may have never found her way up here and Makoto may not have kissed her.
So many things, most of them wonderful, happened all because someone couldn't hold their liquor.
Ami made her way over to the large windows across from the bed and looked out over the ocean. She hadn't bothered with the light. And while she missed the sun setting tonight to see the water sparkle like gold, it was still a beautiful sight to see.
Ami heard Makoto approaching moments before the woman laid her hand at the small of Ami's back. "Reminds me of our first night."
Ami smiled. "I was just thinking that."
"I'm glad you finally got to see the sun setting over the water," Makoto remarked, bringing up their first night back at her place after they made up.
"Me, too," Ami said softly. After a moment she finally turned towards Makoto and noticed the taller woman had a bottle of wine and two wine glasses in her other hand. "What's the occasion," Ami asked, motioning towards the bottle in Makoto's hand.
Makoto chuckled. "Figured we could get shit-faced and prolong our suffering," she joked.
Ami tried to smile. She really did. Instead, she choked on a sob that stuck in her throat before leaning into Makoto's side and pressing her face into Makoto's shoulder, wrapping her arms tightly around Makoto's middle.
Makoto swallowed down the lump in her own throat, sat the bottle and glasses down on the table near them and wrapped Ami tightly up in her arms. She pressed her face against the side of the smaller woman's, fighting back her own tears as Ami cried.
What could Makoto say? She wanted to reassure Ami, to tell her everything would be okay. And Makoto knew things would be okay. But, after tomorrow morning, they wouldn't be together anymore. And she knew that was why Ami was crying. She was mourning.
Makoto cupped Ami's face and tilted her face up. She removed Ami's glasses and set them aside before gently grasping Ami's face again and kissing her. It was soft, slow and full of promises they both knew Makoto wouldn't be able to keep. It was somehow enough anyway.
They made their way to the bed, their kisses not breaking for more than a few seconds. They discarded their clothing and made love so tenderly that Ami cried through near the entirety of it. Makoto wasn't much better by the end.
They eventually fell asleep wrapped up in each other, dreading the morning even in their dreams.
Makoto woke to the sound of Ami's phone ringing. She knew Ami was awake by this point and that she was ignoring her phone. After a long moment, Makoto sighed and reached over the smaller woman and grabbed her phone. The caller ID read Minako and Makoto answered the phone.
"Good morning, Minako-san." Makoto tried and succeeded in keeping the annoyance out of sleep roughened voice.
"Makoto-san," Minako replied, surprised. "Is Ami-chan okay?"
"She's in the shower," Makoto lied, rolling onto her back and rubbing her eyes.
"Ah. I just wanted to give her a call, let her know we'll be picking her up in two hours," Minako said. After a moment, she added, "I know it's not a lot of time..."
"It's fine," Makoto said. It was too early for pity.
"Okay. Well. See you soon," Minako said before ending the call.
Makoto sighed and dropped the phone onto the bed. After a moment, she rolled over and poked Ami in the hip. "Hey, hurry up in the shower will you," she teased.
Ami grunted and curled up tighter under the blanket.
"I know you're awake," Makoto said, sliding her palm along Ami's hip then to her stomach, trying to untagle the petite woman's form.
"Why did you tell Minako I was in the shower," Ami asked, finally uncurling herself. She rolled over and looked up at Makoto, tucking her hands beneath her chin and allowing Makoto to pull her closer.
"I knew you would take one as soon as you got up." Makoto trailed her hand along Ami's back, trying to soothe both Ami and herself. Makoto felt relativly calm, at least outwardly, but her heart was beginning to race with the thought of Ami's inevitable departure.
"Yeah," was Ami's reply. She sighed and hid her face in Makoto's chest.
They laid there for a long while before Makoto finally forced Ami up and into the bathroom. While Ami showered, Makoto took Ami's bags downstairs and sat them near the door. Then she headed back up to the main floor to make breakfast. Just as Makoto finished placing eggs and toast onto a plate, Ami came out of the bedroom and made her way downstairs towards the kitchen. She sat at the island in front of the breakfast Makoto kindly made for her.
This was it. The last meal she'll ever make me, Ami thought. She simply stared at it.
"Not in the mood for eggs," Makoto asked, taking a seat beside Ami. She hadn't touched her food yet, either.
Ami pushed her food around with her fork before she finally answered, "My stomach just isn't up for food."
Makoto nodded and pushed her plate away. "Yeah, mine isn't either."
They sat in silence, the ticking of a distant clock in the house counting down their time left together.
"Will we..." Ami began, her voice quiet. Makoto turned toward her and Ami cleared her throat and tried again. "Will we keep in touch?"
Makoto looked away and hung her head. "I don't think we should. Long distance relationships tend to not work out."
Ami nodded and let her gaze fall back to the counter before her. She couldn't argue with the logic behind that and didn't know how to argue it anyway.
Ami sighed and leaned against Makoto and felt the taller woman's head rest on top of her own.
And that was how they spent the rest of their time together before Ami's friends showed up to collect her. Minako sent a text message and Ami made her way down stairs to the ground floor with Makoto in tow. They looked out the windows and saw the car already pointed down the driveway, ready to leave. Ami knew it was she and Makoto could have some privacy as they said their goodbyes.
Makoto took Ami's bag and brought it out to the porch before setting it down, staring at the car. She took a deep breath and turned to Ami with a smile. Before she could lose her nerve, she wrapped her arms tightly around Ami's shoulders.
"I'll miss you," she whispered into Ami's ear. She felt Ami's arms wrap around her waist and hug her tightly in return.
"Me, too," was Ami's muffled response.
Makoto pulled away after a moment and reached up to wipe away the tears threatening to fall down her face. "No tears. Okay?" She gave Ami a lopsided smile and was rewarded with a small grin in return. She bent and kissed Ami softly. "I love you," she whispered.
Ami took a deep breath, trying to hold back her tears. "I love you, too," she whispered back.
Makoto smiled again, sadder this time, and pulled away. "You better go, don't want to keep your friends waiting."
Ami nodded. She picked up her bag and headed towards the car. Minako climbed out of the back car after Mamoru popped the trunk from inside and helped stow Ami's bag. Afterwards, they shut the trunk and both climbed into the backseat, Minako in the middle so she could sit next to Rei. Ami climbed in and shut the door and settled in for the long ride home.
As they began to pull out of the driveway, Ami's eyes glanced up at the rear view mirror. She saw Shinozaki had come outside and was hugging Makoto, who was wiping at her face.
That was the last image Ami had of Makoto as the car made it's way down the road.
It was night by the time the group made it's way into Tokyo and Ami was the first to be dropped off. She said her goodbyes and collected her bag from the trunk before making her way into the apartment building.
Her home was dark and quiet, Ami's mother obviously not being home. Unsure if that made her feel better or worse, Ami silently made her way to her bedroom. She turned on the bedisde lamp and placed her luggage on her bed and opened it, intent on putting her things away. After a long moment of staring at her clothes, she pushed the suitcase into the floor. She stripped down to her panties and crawled into bed, shutting off the light. Outside, she could hear the constant coming and going of a city that never sleeps.
Ami wasn't sure how long she laid in the dark, just staring at the ceiling. She could still feel Makoto's hands on her skin, the stronger woman's body pressed against her own. She whimpered and rolled onto her side, facing the wall. She wondered how well Makoto would fit with her in her bed and tears welling up in her eyes. She took her glasses off and turned to place them on her nightstand.
Then her phone rang.
Blinking, Ami picked up her phone and she nearly did cry when she saw the name on the caller ID. She nearly dropped the phone in her haste to answer it.
"So how much of a hypocrite am I to be calling you," came Makoto's voice. She was smiling, Ami could tell and it made one grow on Ami's face as well.
"The biggest hypocrite ever," was Ami's jovial reply. It had only been a few hours but she had sorely missed Makoto's voice.
Makoto laughed, sounding so much better than she had that morning. "I missed you."
Ami's smile grew. "I missed you, too." Makoto chuckled again.
They talked through the night, like nothing had happened. Like they hadn't sad goodbye earlier that day. The sun was beginning to rise when they finally said goodbye to each other.
But this time, they had plans to talk again. And Ami couldn't wait.