Hello my lovelies. I would like to thank Lic. Lu, Vadercat, Guest, heyjode and Petunia3116 for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since I posted this story.

So here is the next chapter, at the end I have a question for you all that I would really like an answer to, as I can write it both ways and I was wondering which you would prefer. Let me know in either a review or PM.

Anyway I hope you enjoy this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: LA.

The next morning Deeks packed up just what he needed to survive. It was enough things that they fitted into his car with his surfboard attached to the roof. That done he called to Monty and climbed inside. He didn't look back once as he pulled out into the LA traffic, didn't look back at the home he was leaving behind. He needed a fresh start, something different, something new.

He kept off the highways wherever possible, sticking the backroads and the ones that followed the coast as he drove. He had no destination in mind, no end goal, he just drove. He pulled over around midday, letting Monty out so he could have a run and do his business, but he didn't think to find himself some food. Instead he grabbed a bottle of water and drank it down as he watched the only companion from his former life he had kept enjoy his time outside of the car.

Once Monty was done it was back onto the road. Back to driving to nowhere. Back to the mindlessness of paying attention to only the immediate surroundings and others on the road. It felt good, not to have to think of anything other than that. It felt right for his mind to be focused only on the drive with no other thoughts pushing their way in. As the time turned towards evening Deeks found himself following a quite road which he knew would lead down to a beach, at some point. He knew that not because he had ever been there before, or because he had looked at a map. No, it was more the way it was slopping downwards and heading in the general direction of the sun. Well it seemed fitting in some way, for him to be following the sun. After all he had told Callen he wanted to walk in it, didn't he?

The road finally came to a stop in what looked to be a parking lot, though it didn't look like any you would see in LA. It was more a large area that was clear of obstructions, a couple of cars parked up on one side. Parking his car away from the rest Deeks climbed out, Monty following him swiftly as he looked towards the area the parking lot served. It was a very small cove, the sand of the beach completely deserted from what he could see. But that wasn't what had caught Deeks' eye. No that was the waves that were rolling in. They were the best he had seen in a long time. There must be something about the way the rocks circled that area of ocean that caused the swell, but right then Deeks didn't know or care about that. All that was in his mind was the wish to be out on those waves. To be one with the ocean, hoping to find peace away from others. It took him very little time to change into his wetsuit and grab his board, and leaving Monty by his towel on protection detail he ran into the surf. Letting it wash everything from his mind as he wrestled the waves and pull, trying to master the ocean in a way no one ever would.

It was exactly what he needed right then. Exactly what he had hoped to find when he had left LA, and for the first time in so long he found the enjoyment of being free. Found the enjoyment of being alive. It was the thing he had been searching for, and now, somehow in this long forgotten part of the west coast, he had found it. But that was not what was going through his mind. No, that was all about the swell and the next wave, the angles he would need to attack it at, and the complete joy he felt when he mastered the waters below him.

He stayed out until the sun set over the ocean. With the loss of light he felt the need to return to land. To return to Monty and get him settled for the night. With that in mind he climbed out, changing into his normal clothes as Monty ate the dinner he gave him. But once they were both done, Deeks realised he didn't want to climb back into his car and drive away. Didn't want to have to worry about finding a place to sleep that night. Didn't' want to return to civilisation. He knew he should. That was the right thing to do. But instead he grabbed a blanket from the backseat and made his way back towards the beach. It was only then he noticed the building built on the waterfront, whose lights were shining onto the sand. It looked like a restaurant or bar of some kind. It was a show that he wasn't completely alone in his discovery of this place. But there was no loud noises coming from inside, and it didn't seem an intimidating place. He was happy to share his peace with it. In fact he settled so that the lights from the windows shone on him and Monty on the beach, it saved him having to find wood in the dark for a fire after all. And at least the show of human presence would help keep the nightmares at bay, for a little while. He hoped. The darkness was not his friend right then.

He been sitting there, wrapped in his blanket with Monty sleeping at his side, for a while before he heard the distinctive sounds of sand shifting underfoot. He tensed, not knowing who was approaching and for a moment he wished he had his gun. Wished he had something to defend himself against the possible attack he was about to endure. But just as he thought that Monty's head rose as he stared towards the direction the intruder was coming from, his ears flattening against his head as he growled, and Deeks realised he didn't need a weapon. Monty would protect him in a way no other partner ever had because that was what he did.

"I mean no harm, I promise." Came a male voice through the dark, the speaker having stopped just short of them when he saw Monty's reaction. "My husband and I own the restaurant. Thought you could do with this." he continued, and that was when Deeks saw he had a couple of bottles of beer in his hands. Looking at them he realised he really could do with a drink right then.

"At ease, Monty." He said quietly, after taking a long look at the man approaching them. He was around the fifty mark if he had to guess, and had an air of one who had seen far too much in that life time. Though that didn't stop Deeks from using the signals he had once leant to make sure the dog would stay on alert.

"I'm Frank." The man said sitting down beside Deeks and offering one of the bottles to him. The unopened bottles Deeks noted gladly.

"Deeks." He replied, taking it.

Frank had watched the kid drive up earlier that day and go straight the ocean. It was an instinct he himself had always had, and in fact was the reason he and his husband Henry had brought this place, to be close to those waves. He had expected him and the dog to come inside once he was done, grab a meal, ask about places to stay in the area, the usual thing those that found their way to their bit of coast always asked. But the kid didn't, he was different. He instead settled onto the beach with a threadbare blanket and no fire. It didn't take a genius to realise he had something on his mind. It had been a slow night at the bar, and as such he had decided to offer his help, in any way he could. Once upon a time he wouldn't have bothered, but he had been where this kid was. Lost and alone, he knew how that felt. He wanted to make sure he knew there were people out there for him. It was for this reason he had grabbed a couple of beers, making sure to keep them unopened, as he made his way towards the stranger. He had stopped when the dog had growled at him, not wanting to get attacked. But when he saw the signals the kid gave the dog, he knew he had to gain this kids trust. It was time to pay back the saving of his own soul. Time to return the favour that had once been given to him.

Therefore he handed over the beer and purposely sat down on the same side as dog, so that it could attack if he did anything untoward. He wanted to show this kid he really wasn't an enemy. Needed him to see they were the same.

"So what's an LAPD officer doing out here?" Frank asked into the silence after they had both opened their bottles and taken a drink.

Deeks tensed once more at that sentence, trying to decide the best way of answering that question. Because in his mind only criminals ever asked things like that, not to mention how the hell this guy had known he was a cop, used to be a cop.

"There is nothing to fear, Deeks. I was with the LAPD 20 years ago. I remember the dog handling signals." Frank explained when he saw the caution in the other man's eyes. It told him more than it would civilian. It was a look he had only ever seen on those who spent their lives undercover. That was a hard gig for anyone to deal with, and he had known more than one cop burn out doing it, those that didn't end up dead at any rate.

"I'm not a cop. Not anymore." Deeks replied nodding his head at Frank's words. He looked like one of the old school, though he did have to wonder how a gay man had enjoyed being a cop 20 years ago. He doubted he had had a good time of it.

"So what are you now?" Franks asked, though not in accusation, but curiosity. As if it didn't matter to him what the answer was, it was just a passing wondering in his mind.

"Deeks, just… Deeks." Deeks replied. There was no other answer he could give to that one. I mean, he was nothing now. Or maybe it wasn't that he was nothing, but more he was trying to find his new place in the world. Yeah he liked that idea better than the other.

"Well, just Deeks. Why don't you come inside? Henry, my husband, is the best chef this side of LA. I'm sure he can whip you up something, and the dog's welcome in the bar." Frank responded with a quirk of his lips. He knew that feeling of complete loss of identity that came with leaving the force.

"Thanks, but I'm okay." Deeks replied not sure he wanted to enter the building not wanting to be subjected to society or people, or any of the expectations that came with such situations.

"Really? When was it you last ate?" Frank answered back as quick as you like. He had seen the guy was far too skinny when he was wearing his wetsuit earlier, and there was no way he was leaving him out here to starve. If nothing else Henry would have his hide if he did.

Of course those words got no response from the man at his side, and Frank knew he was going to need a different approach. Therefore staring out at the dark ocean he spoke once more, baring a part of his soul to the stranger at his side.

"Look I don't want to pry. Your life is your business. But I've been where you obviously are. I was lost and I tried to find the answer in the bottom of a bottle. It didn't work."

"You're the one that brought me a beer." Deeks replied, not being able to stop himself from pointing out the fact that rather than saving him from drinking himself to death, Frank was actually facilitating it.

"Touché." Franks responded with a nod. Deeks had him there.

At that Deeks turned to him in amazement before breaking out into laughter at hearing the word he so commonly spoke coming from another's mouth. But soon his laugh turned into something else, something desperate and aching. It was almost as if he couldn't stop, because he knew if he did he would break. And he couldn't break. He couldn't let it all come crashing down on him. He couldn't, that was why he left. He wanted to leave it all behind. He wasn't supposed to feel like this now. Though somewhere at the back of his mind, behind the laughter and desperation he realised that this was exactly why he had left. Because for the first time he actually felt, wherever he wanted to or not. Felt that he wasn't hollow anymore, even if it was causing him to break apart at the seams. He wasn't hollow and empty now.

He didn't even realise his laughter had turned to sobs that were wrenched from deep inside him until he felt Frank place his arm around his shoulder.

"It's okay kid. Let it all out. There is no one to judge you here." Frank said gently as he squeezed the other man's shoulders. He didn't know what he had been through, didn't know what it was that had caused him to leave the force. He just knew that he would be there for the kid, for as long as he needed it.

Finally Deeks found himself able to breathe, and then talk. Pulling out of the older man's arms he spoke softly, if somewhat surprised. "Oh, I needed that."

"Looked it. Where are you headed?" Franks asked not showing any sign of noticing how Deeks was wiping his face on his sleeve. He'd been there after all, he knew that somethings were much better out that in.

"No idea." Deeks responded honestly. There was no point lying about it. He had no plan after all, he had just run.

"We've got a spare room. Well actually it's a studio apartment above the restaurant. Used to be for our barman, but he moved with his girlfriend to LA last week. It's there if you want it." Frank suggested. This kid needed someone to care for him and he knew he and Henry could do it. He needed friends and he would be there for him. He understood him after all.

"I can't." Deeks replied instantly. The idea of stopping, of settling somewhere sent fear running through him. If he stopped then he could be found. Though who would be looking for him he had no idea.

"You don't have anywhere else to be, and here seems pretty good to me. Plus we could do with another hand around the bar, someone who can do the heavy lifting." Frank responded looking at the man next to him. He could see the fight or flight look in his eyes and he had to wonder just what it was that had caused him to run. But he had said he wasn't going to pry, and he meant it. When Deeks was ready to talk, he would listen then.

"What saved you?" Deeks asked changing the subject without thought. He had to wonder how this man had gone from your typical alcoholic cop, to being a gay restaurant owner. His curiosity was piqued by it.

"Henry, my husband. He found me drowning my sorrows in a back-ass joint and refused to leave me alone. still with me 20 years later." Frank replied with a soft smile at the man he loved with all his heart, the man he would follow to the ends of the earth if he asked him to. The man he owed so much and he knew he would never be able to repay.

"You're lucky." Deeks answered softly. It sounded so romantic, a lover saving the lonely cop, though he knew there would have been some serious hardships involved. Briefly he wished someone would have saved him the same way. His mind turned to Kensi before quickly turning away. She hadn't saved him, she had come and sent him up in a sting. She had left him there even after seeing what they had done to him. No she would never save him.

Frank saw the dark look cross the kids face, and he had to wonder at it. Was there someone back in LA that he loved but had left him? Was there someone there who had broken his trust? Was that why he was here, now? But whatever the answers to those question Frank knew now was not the time. So instead he spoke in a jokey tone, addressing Deeks words rather than the meaning and darkness behind them.

"I don't know, you haven't met Henry yet. He'll be force feeding you food and spoiling your Monty here within seconds. Be warned. He's a complete mother hen."

His words had the desired effect that they made Deeks chuckle at them. Made him feel lighter than he had in a long time as his mind pulled away from the dark thoughts, away from the memories of what had happened in the past and instead turned to a possible future.

"So coming in?" Frank asked, standing up and looking down at the man he had spent the good part of the last half an hour talking to. He wasn't sure what his answer was going to be, though he hoped it was a yes. But if it wasn't he was prepared to bring out the big guns. Or in other words send Henry out with some food and more blankets. He couldn't imagine anyone ever saying no to Henry, though he might be slightly biased about that one. Just slightly, what with being his husband and all.

Deeks thought for a moment, but he knew he really didn't need to. He'd liked talking to Frank. Liked the way it had made him feel… something good along with the bad. So really, there was only one answer he could give to that question. "Yeah. Yeah."

And with that Deeks stood, calling Monty to kneel as he followed the older man into the bar area of the restaurant. He didn't know if he was going to stay, didn't know what the future held. All he knew was that right then, right at that moment in time, this was the right decision for him. This was a place he wouldn't be judged, and nor would he feel the need to be someone he wasn't. No right here, he could be just Deeks, and for now, that was all he wanted.

QUESTION: do you guys want me to write only about Deeks journey, or do you want me to flit between this and what is going on in LA and with the team and Callen? Not sure which to do, so please let me know what you think. Thanks.