Hello my dears. I would like to thank Guest, heyjode, Guest, Petunia3116, Lic. Lu, Maria Luisa Illarnizzi, Aim1107, Amy (Guest), Max and Fern 4ever and Guest for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since I last updated. I also want to thank you all for your concerns and well wishes.
So here is the next chapter, time to see how Callen is doing I think. I would also like to point out that as I live in the UK I know nothing of the American employment-tax system, so I could very well be making things up in this chapter. Anyway, I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: LA
When Callen had thought Hetty and Bates would be unhappy about Deeks' resignation he had seriously underestimated their reactions, though he did think he preferred the yelling and curses that came from Bates as he heaped the blame for losing one of his best, upon Callen's head. The disappointed silent stare Hetty gave him was something he never wanted to experience again thank you very much. But they both had one thing in common when he told them, and that was to hand him all the paperwork the younger man needed to fill in to make it official. Why they thought he would be able to find Deeks he had no idea, but he didn't voice that opinion. Mainly because he knew if he did Hetty would start a manhunt for her missing detective while he knew Bates would expect him to use the full resources available to him as an NCIS special agent. And he really didn't want to involve the wonder twins, or the rest of the team. No it would be best to keep Kensi and Sam as far away from Deeks as possible for the foreseeable future, they were not impressed with his vanishing act, to put it mildly.
So that left Callen to look for him on his own and in his own time. The only good thing was that it seemed both Hetty and Bates were happy for him to take as long as he wanted. He imagined that was because they hoped the extra time would let Deeks heal, and come back. Callen for his part didn't see that happening, but hey at least they weren't breathing down his neck.
The first place Callen went when he finished work that evening after Deeks had left was the younger man's apartment. Getting no answer when he knocked, he let himself in by picking the lock. What he found was that not only Deeks but also Monty was missing, along with all the dog bowls and toys, and clothes and bath stuff for Deeks. So it was confirmed, the kid had skipped town. Callen let out a sigh as he looked around the empty apartment. Not because Deeks had gone, he was sure he needed it, no it was more because he doubted Deeks had been in the right frame of mind to sort anything out before he walked. He doubted very much that Deeks had made sure someone would be keeping an eye on the place, or that the rent would get paid on time. Another thing for him to deal with then. Fantastic. But even as Callen turned to make his way towards the apartment manager's rooms, it didn't once cross his mind to leave it be. Someone needed to watch Deeks' back, and if he couldn't do it in person, then he would do what he could to make sure his life was as easy as possible.
It was only half an hour later, and a couple of hundred lighter in the wallet, that Callen left Deeks' apartment building with the managers agreement that he would be the first one called if anything happened, or the rent wasn't paid. It had been surprisingly easy to get the guy to agree in actual fact, and Callen had made a mental note that if Deeks ever did return to LA, he was not letting him stay here. The guy was far too easy to persuade, though he guessed it could have something to do with the fact that the manager seemed to get it into his head that Callen was Deeks' boyfriend. An illusion Callen felt best not to dissuade the man of, though he did have to wonder just how many boyfriends Deeks had had for that to be the first thing that came to the other man's mind when he approached him. It also caused a lot of questions to be raised as well, questions Callen might just have to ask Deeks when he found him.
Back in the office the next morning Callen went about activity trying to find Deeks. He pulled up the traffic cam footage from across from his apartment building and watched as Deeks drove away, but he soon lost him as he headed out of LA. Callen knew that if Deeks didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. But he had to try. Therefore he did a search of the motels in the direction he had last seen the kid heading, not expecting anything to come up. Which was good, considering it didn't. He then sat back and tried to decide what to do next. Oh he knew so far his searching had been half-hearted at best. Mainly because he felt Deeks deserved to disappear, and he didn't want to be the one to drag him back. But he did need him to sign the papers from NCIS and LAPD, especially if he got another job to tide him over while he was… wherever he was. It was then the idea came to him. He didn't really need to find Deeks until he officially got another job, right? Until then there would be no issues with tax or any of that. Therefore Callen quickly implemented a running background search on Deeks social security number, making sure it would alert him when it came up in relation to new employment. With that done he closed down everything else. He done all he was willing to do to find the kid, and he was sure that those who wanted him to do it, would approve of his rather lacklustre investigative skills on this case.
Deeks woke the next morning as the sun just started to peak over the fields behind the bar. And while it may not have been the longest he had ever slept uninterrupted by nightmares, it was the longest in a very long time. It had caused him to wake refreshed and ready for the day.
Climbing out of bed he called to Monty. He felt like going for a run in the bright morning, felt the need to be outside to greet the new day, and maybe, just maybe greet the new him. Therefore it wasn't much later he was slipping out of the back door, his sweats encasing his legs and a loose fitting tee over his chest.
Moving to start his run he turned away from the beach, he had done enough running along the sand in LA, and he didn't want anything to remind him of the life he had walked away from. Instead he headed towards the cliff path, using the steep climb to give his body a real workout. To really get his blood pumping and hopefully make sure his mind stayed at peace.
As he ran Deeks pushed his body to its limits, then tested to see if he could go any further. There were no attractive women to distract on this run. No, there was nothing but the sound of the ocean crashing below the cliffs, the smell of the grass under his feet, and the burn in his muscles. When he had first decided to run up the cliff path it had seemed deceptively short and gradual, but now he was half way up Deeks felt as if his lungs were on fire, and he was sure that he wasn't actually running anymore, just putting one foot in front of the other. But he didn't stop. Didn't think of anything but pushing through the pain. Of pushing through the discomfort he was putting upon his body. And soon nothing else mattered to him but making himself take the next step, to breath in the next gasp of air. He refused to quit. He was gonna make it to the top of this damn cliff if it killed him, which right then he thought was a definite possibility. In fact he was so focused on getting to the top one step at a time, that when it came he found himself surprised. He hadn't realised he was so close until he noticed how much easier it was to move now, how much easier it was to breathe.
It was only then did he allow himself to stop. To collapse onto the grass and stare at the sky above. And it was only then as he was drawing in ragged breaths, did he realise how pure the pain he had just inflicted upon himself was. Just how pure and… good it felt to force his body to do as he wanted it to do, even past what he had once believed was his accepted level of endurance. But then, he had recently been given a whole new lesson in what pain he could endure hadn't he? Torture did have a funny way of showing you just how far you can go, just how much you can take before you break. And there it was, the thing he had been trying so hard not to think about since walking out of the office the previous day. No, in fact he was pretty sure he had been trying not to think about it ever since it had happened, it was just that it was only the last 24 hours that had given him that freedom from the memories. He should have known it wouldn't last.
Pulling himself up into a sitting position Deeks found his eyes wandering towards the ocean below. Watching the way the waves would sweep in and sweep out again, leaving and taking things in equal measure. He let his breathing fall into sync with the sound of them crashing on the beach of the cove, and forced his mind to blankness. Forced it to think of nothing but the water below him, the sounds around him, the smell of the fresh air he was breathing in. Forced himself to register only the here and now, until the memories in his mind sank back down into the depths he wished they would stay. Oh he knew it probably wasn't healthy to repress it. No doubt it would all come flying out at some point, or at least that was what Nate had told him. But he didn't care. He didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to see the look in people's eyes when he did. No all he wanted to do was forget. To pretend it never happened and move on with his life. He just wanted to live again, without fear or stress, or emptiness. Was that really too much to ask?
Deeks was pulled from his mind by movement on the beach below. Looking he saw someone leaving the bar, a surfboard under there arm. It took a few seconds for him to decide it was Frank rather than Henry, but once he had he settled down to see how well the older man would take the waves that were breaking and crashing down towards the beach.
A couple of minutes in he had to give the guy kudos for his skill. It was obvious to Deeks that Frank had been surfing all his life. It wasn't until Frank headed in that Deeks realised that from the moment he had seen the other man, he hadn't been plagued by the thoughts and memories he didn't want to have. In fact he had found a peace settle on him once more, the same one he had in the bar the previous evening, and had woken with that morning. He didn't know why, but something about Frank, and Henry, made him feel… safe. They made him feel free. It was a strange sensation, and certainly not one he was used to. But he liked it. It was at that exact moment that he knew that he didn't want to leave. This was where he needed to be right then. No, it was where he wanted to be right then.
With that decision clear in his mind he stood, making his way back to the beach and the bar. He had a job offer to accept after all.
A week after Deeks had walked out of the mission Callen was sitting at his desk when his computer pinged informing him that his search had come back with a result. It seemed Marty Deeks had gotten himself another job. Finding the address of the bar Deeks was working at Callen quickly rose to speak to Hetty. He needed to take a couple of days off if he was going to make it there and back. It was time for Marty Deeks to officially resign or return, the choice would be completely his, but either way, Callen was going to get a decision. Because while he understood why Deeks had run, there were things that needed to be done, situations that needed to be tied up, before Deeks could be completely free of LA and the life he had lived here. And it seemed it had become Callen's job to make sure he did just that.