Mortifying, completely fucking mortifying. What had she done? Begged the guards to see her fake husband, made a fool out of herself in front of said fake husband and spent the night in his arms, that's what she'd done. Ash had pretty much thrown staying indifferent out the fucking window with her actions. More than anything though she'd laid herself bare to a predator, a move that a wolf would instinctively pounce on.

Ash resisted the urge to jump up and flee like a wounded animal. Instead she gingerly lifted one possessive arm, setting it aside and biting her lip slipped out from beneath the second. It was wrong to just abandon Fenrir in his sleep when he equally vulnerable as she'd been the night before but she just couldn't face him. Yet again she'd made a fool of herself when she was supposed to be the one in charge, the one on the outside with the upper hand. Ash wouldn't even have to worry about his natural instinct for exploiting the weak, she was doing all the work for him. What a bloody mess. The wolf stirred slightly when she rose from his lap but didn't wake and Ashling couldn't help but let her eyes linger on him for a moment. He was far handsomer than a man like him had a right to be, not in a pretty boy sort of way, but ruggedly handsome. Sean had been beautiful and bright as the morning sun with his blonde hair and gleaming blue eyes, while Fenrir was dark and haunting like a walk beneath the moon on a cool foggy night. Besides the obvious lycanthropy, both men shared a trait, though she couldn't pinpoint precisely what it was, something that made her want to bare her belly and submit for no good reason. And truly Ash couldn't think of one good reason to consider a life with Fenrir. She'd been diligent in researching his past and hadn't found one redeeming feature, aside from the advantage of his incarceration. Ash could see little sparks of that man during their encounters but not nearly as much as she'd expected. But even if a man was able to change his evil ways, she was too damaged to try again.

Ash sighed and averted her eyes, exasperated with herself, and slipped from the room before any further damage could be done.

Eyes to the floor, the witch collected her wand and slunk from the prison. She apparated home simply to put on some clothes and despite forgoing a shower and not packing a nibble of food, was still late for work. Fuck.

"You look dreadful, like death. Yeah, you look like death, not even warmed over a little."

Ash looked up from her computer and gave her office mate, Libby, a wicked scowl. Her blunt honesty knew no bounds. There was no malice in her words but on such a regretful morning they stung deeply. Libby was the closest thing she had to a friend in Great Britain and honestly the closest thing she wanted to a friend. She was sweet and fun but Ash had no interest in the closeness it took to be true friends and even less interest in the nightlife Libby loved so very much.

"I feel dreadful." she admitted, letting her shoulders sag.

Her pelvis was aching like mad, almost insult to injury after her stupidity and it felt like the dreamless sleep from the night before was finally catching up. A large stack of paper would have done nicely as a pillow just then. Libby perched herself on the edge of the desk and frowned.

"Talk to me Ash, what's going on?"

Though she hadn't let on, Libby could tell that something was troubling her friend as of late, as aloof as she normally was. Ash had been quieter than normal in the past weeks, which was saying something, and her eyes always seemed to be looking off into the distance.

"Just a rough period." she replied glumly with a shrug. It was partially true at least. Ash hated lying, especially to someone so sweet.

Libby frowned again, clearly it couldn't have been her period for the entire last month, but decided not to challenge her. She knew that in all likelihood the secretive redhead wouldn't tell and pushing her would only achieve making her deeply uncomfortable. Instead she decided that a piece of advice would suffice, with a little dash of hope that Ash would open up.

"You should just do what I do, two potions." Ash raised her brows at the woman's knowing smile. "One to rid me of my period and the other to stop ovulation, don't want any surprises!" she ended in a sing-songy voice.

Ash paused for a long moment, her weary brain suddenly firing off one rapid thought after another. Her heart thumped excitedly at the thought and the possibilities it presented. Between that and the fertility booster she was already taking, she could get pregnant in half the time. No more waiting for the right week to come and it would eliminate the awkwardness of fruitless visits. Could this be the answer to her prayers or was it too much to hope for?

"So if you don't take the second one are you just constantly ovulating?" she queried, wrinkling her nose as if the idea was loathsome.

"I think so." she replied with a thoughtful nod. "Why...is that something you might worry about?" Libby demanded excitedly, scooting her bottom from side to side in a little wiggle dance.

Libby was blonde, bubbly and had the kind of personality that even if she wasn't stunningly beautiful, men would still flock to her side. If she wasn't so nice, she would be downright hateful, though a lot of women still resented her on account.

"I mean...um not currently." Ashling floundered, a heated blush lighting up her cheeks. "But you never know, right?"

It was useless, she was transparent as a ghost.

"Mmm hmm, right." her coworker agreed with a look that said anything but. "I'll give you the names when we go out to dinner tonight." Lib proclaimed cheerily and hopped down from her perch.

Drinks she probably couldn't get Ash to agree to, but dinner, everyone had to eat dinner. Ash opened her mouth to argue but closed it again knowing that the social butterfly had already moved on to the planning phase of their night. With a swish of her skirt, Libby was off and probably going to research a new restaurant the moment her butt hit the seat. There would be no getting out of it if Ash wanted the names of those potions and she did, badly. But maybe a little outing would do her good, it had been a long time since she'd eaten dinner with anyone, not just date wise but anyone. She was far too mortified to visit Fenrir, despite the deep guilt that had settled in her chest at having run out on him, but didn't at all want to be alone all night...alone and lonely.

Being what he was and how the world viewed werewolves, Ash and Sean had spent the majority of their time in the dwindling woodlands of Ireland. He'd simply wandered and slept wherever he'd ended up before meeting Ash but soon after they bought a small cottage to settle down in. Each year it seemed there were less and less magical creatures, whether they had been hunted or migrated somewhere with more forestation Ash didn't know, but it meant that most of the time it was just the two of them. Even with their aloof lifestyle however the couple had never been truly alone, as cliche and sappy as it sounded, they'd had each other. The plan had been children, of course, four of them and when they were old enough to not be worried about on the full moon, Sean had been planning to turn her.

How easily and swiftly life had slipped through her fingers.

"Where am I supposed to move again?" Fenrir asked, the pawn dwarfed beneath the shadow of his large hand.

He observed Ash as she sat across from him on the bed, legs crossed beneath her, the board between them, and tried to hide his frustration and boredom. Fenrir was humoring Ash by playing chess and they both knew it, but on the flip side, she was humoring him by showing up during her bleed. He sort of wished the visit was on his account, but knew it was out of dedication to her dream. Neither one of them had mentioned their midnight encounter nor the disappointment and yes the little pinch of hurt he'd felt from her disappearance. That was as humiliating to him as the desperateness of the visit was to her. Fenrir had left his share of women behind but it hadn't mattered because it was a rut, animal instincts, with no attachment whatsoever. This witch was going to be the death of him.

Wearing a brilliant smile Ash had immediately told him about the new potion, though it hadn't yet taken effect, but the wolf wasn't quite sure what to think of it. Fenrir was still stuck between the idea of being some perverted sort of hero by giving her a pup, and satisfying his own needs by keeping Ash coming back. His mind had been so wrapped up in the witch and all the newness she brought with her, he hadn't even had a chance to ponder the pregnancy itself. He'd never even considered what it would be like to hold a child in his arms or watch it grow and now he didn't want to think about it because he'd never see those things. There was self loathing aplenty for him but no pity, his deeds had caught up to him.

The witch shrugged in reply. "Let me look at the directions again, I've never played this before." but if she was going to visit, a concession she'd made to his demands, they needed something to do that didn't involve sex. "You can move forward one space and when you're ready to capture, you can move diagonal." Ash read aloud, meeting his steel eyes over the booklet for a brief moment. They were impassive, making her wonder what the wolf was thinking. He hadn't seemed very receptive to her amazing discovery and frankly it was worrying. Would Fenrir try to throw another wrench into her plan, make up some new rules or demands or god forbid call it off altogether? No, she wasn't going to think about that, she had to stay strong or get eaten alive. Inwardly Ash smiled at the memory of Sean's nickname for her, mac tire dian, which meant fierce wolf. And she was fierce, she had to be.

"Here goes." Fenrir forced a smile and moved one square forward.

Chess, he was now reduced to playing chess, when he wanted nothing more than to be buried balls deep inside Ash and then wrapped up in her limbs. Was this what good men did? Probably, but he wasn't a good man and knew it well...so why in the fuck was he doing this again? Because despite popular sayings, nice guys didn't always finish last, assholes who were attentive only to their wants and desires did. Fenrir had had difficulty naming the feeling that she gave him at first and still wasn't sure about it but whatever it was, he wanted Ash to experience it too. He wanted her to grow attached to him, maybe even love him, that was one reason to play chess. But also he was doing it because he was that asshole and wanted to fulfill his desire, which was keeping Ash around as long as possible. So if playing silly games was the key, then he'd play the pawn in their little game of give and take.