Hello my lovelies. I would like to thank Lic. Lu and heyjode for the lovely reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.
So this chapter is set directly after season 5 episode 4 'Resnikov, N.' and I know its short, but I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: LA.
Deeks woke feeling refreshed and ready to start the day. It had been just over a week since he'd had the nightmare that had brought Callen tearing driving out of LA in the middle of the night. Just over a week since he had finally talked about what had happened to him, and how it affected him. He knew there was still a long way to go, and he knew he would get more nightmares in the future, but that sharing… he couldn't describe how he felt now he had finally done it. He thought the best description he could come up with was the idea of sharing the weight that had been crushing his shoulders, but that wasn't what he had done. Callen didn't share anything, he'd just listened. It seemed that alone made Deeks feel… lighter somehow. Made him feel as if he could breathe freely once more, that he could move forwards, that there was an end to the pain. Perhaps it was less the sharing of his ordeal, perhaps it was more about the fact he had finally confronted it. Had finally accepted it had happened, put words to the feelings and thoughts he'd had and stopped locking them in a box and trying to bury them deep inside. Yeah sounded right, and he couldn't help but chuckle to himself when he thought that, considering it was almost the exact words Nate had said to him when he was still in LA. The words he had completely ignored.
There was another thing that had changed over the last week. He could now think of his former team. He didn't feel any of the guilt or remorse he expected to feel when he remembered them. Oh he still wasn't ready to talk to anyone but Callen, but at least now he accepted that someday he might be. That someday he would be able to return to LA and see them, be able to someday once more call them his friends. Maybe, hopefully, someday.
So yeah, on balance he was doing better. It seemed deciding to walk in the sun was the right move after all, because he had finally faced his shadow that was walking at his side.
Pulling himself out of bed he smiled at Monty as he grabbed his jogging gear. He felt like a run today, maybe he would go across the cove and try and tackle the cliff path on the opposite side. It didn't look as steep as the one close to the bar, and even if he knew looks could be deceiving with cliff paths, he didn't think this one was a lie. It didn't seem that steep when he drove down it to get to here. Surely it would be better, right? With that plan in mind he left the bar by the back door aiming to cross the parking lot before hitting the sandy cove. It was there that he got the first hint that his morning was not going to go the way he had planned it.
The car stood out considering the only others there were his own and Henry and Franks old pickup. Hell that Merc would stand out in a lot of parking lots. But it was less the car itself and more its owner that sent alarm bells ringing in Deeks head. Because he knew for sure that it hadn't been there when he went to bed last night. He knew that because he had slept alone. So no, Callen had not been there last night. Which meant he must have arrived sometime between one in the morning and the six it now was. What Deeks didn't know was why Callen had once more driven through the night to be there. No one had called him that he knew of, there had been no reason to. So there had to be something else. But what?
Of course the obvious way to gain an answer to that question would be to ask Callen himself, but looking around he couldn't see the man. Therefore with a frown on his face he made his way round to the front of the bar, wondering if Callen was sitting on the steps waiting or something.
But he wasn't. Instead Deeks found him when he turned towards the cove. He was sitting in the sand, about half way between the bar and ocean. Even with the distance separating them Deeks could see Callen was shaking, though whether that was from the cold morning he had possibly sat through, or something else he had no clue. But that didn't matter. Instead without even thinking he made his way over to his friend, making sure he and Monty made enough noise so that Callen would know they were there. He did not want to end up on his ass after all.
"Hey, Callen." He said quietly, though keeping his tone cheerful as he sat. He could see out of the corner of his eyes the tear tracks that were drying on the other man's face. That scared him more than anything else ever could. Because he didn't think he had ever seen Callen cry, couldn't think of what could cause the strong man he knew him to be to break down. Well no that wasn't true he could think of a few things, and none of them he wanted to thank you very much.
"Deeks." Callen replied running a hand down his face in an attempt to clean the tears from his skin. He hadn't meant for Deeks to find him like this. He'd planned to go up to the bar when he was sure everyone inside was wake. But of course he had forgotten about how the younger man didn't sleep for so long anymore. Had forgotten how he was usually the first awake between the three men who lived in the bar behind him.
"What happened?" Deeks asked softly, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. Because he wanted to know, and he knew if Callen thought it would upset him he wouldn't share. And Deeks needed to know. Needed to know what had happened to the team. Needed to know who was hurt… and needed to know if it was his fault for walking away.
At that Callen took a deep breath before responding in a monotone voice. "Yesterday I watched my father executed right in front of me."
"G… how… what-" Deeks asked trying to find the words to string into a sentence, but at a loss to do so. That sentence was such a momentous one he didn't even know where to being to start addressing it. Luckily it seemed Callen could read his mind because he answered the main question Deeks had on his mind, even if he didn't know how to put it into words.
"The remaining Comescu's." Callen responded, in a way that said that explained everything. And well, to Deeks it did. He still remembered the trip to remain he had taken with the team to rescue Hetty. The trip where Callen discovered so much more about himself. The trip which was filled with so much blood.
"Shit." He breathed under his breath. He knew if the Comescu's were involved then the body count was going to be high. But Callen's father? The one he had never met? The really didn't seem fair to him. It really was a completely cruel twist that Callen would first see the guy as he was executed by those had taken so much away from him already. By the same people who had killed his mom. How the hell did anyone deal with that?
"He wasn't really my father, but they thought he was. I thought he was." Callen continued explaining, needing to say it all now he had spoken those first words. Needed to tell someone so it was clearer in his own head. At that thought Callen turned to the younger man the tears once more coursing down his cheeks but he didn't make a move to remove them. He couldn't. "I tried so hard to save him. But it didn't work. Instead a man is dead, and I know my father's name." the bitter sweetness of it all was not lost on him. He had gained a piece of information he had been searching for for so long, but the cost had been a man's life. Why did he have to pay the price in Callen's unwanted war? Why couldn't the Comescu's leave him alone?
Deeks couldn't think of anything to say to that. He had a thousand questions, but he knew Callen didn't need them right then. So instead he moved one arm around Callen's shoulders and the other across his chest, giving him a sideways loose hug, though it was more an expression to show Callen that he was not alone. Moving his chin so it was resting on Callen's shoulder and he yet he could still meet his eyes if he turned his way, he asked the only thing he felt was right to then. "What's his name?"
"Nikita Alexsandr Reznikov. He was a major in the KGB, and he helped people escape to the West." Callen replied with a small smile on his lips at finally having a name for his father. And as he spoke it the grainy black and white image he had seen on the old film the previous evening came to mind. The only memory he had of the man who was his father captured forever on a film almost as old as he was.
"He sounds like a good man." Deeks responded sharing the smile at the wonder in Callen's voice at finally having a name to use. At finally knowing who his father was.
"Yeah. He was arrested at the same time as I left Romania. There is no record of his death. The man that died, he was one of the people he saved, and in return he watched over me and my sister. He had so many photos from my childhood. I've never seen so many. It's…" But Callen trailed off at that and instead moved so he was looking back out at the ocean in front of them. He didn't have words to describe what he had found on the case he had just completed. Didn't have words to describe the emotions going through him.
And Deeks understood. He couldn't imagine how it felt to go from having nothing about your past to finding not only your father's name but photos of a childhood you barely remembered. So rather than saying anything more he moved to drop a soft kiss onto Callen's cheek before returning his head to his shoulder, though this time he rested his cheek upon it. It was only seconds later before Callen bent his own head to rest against Deeks'. And that was how they sat, letting the ocean do the talking for them, and letting it soothe the emotions and thoughts running through their minds. They just sat there, with Deeks holding Callen loosely in his arms and the older man's head resting upon his, a silent show of solidarity for Callen while his world got turned upside down once more and settled upon its new axis.
And that was how Frank found them when he came out for his surf an hour later. He didn't know what had happened, didn't know if Deeks had called Callen or if the guy had shown up by himself. But he did know one thing, and that was that Henry was going to need to prepare another plate for breakfast. With that in mind he returned to the bar to inform his husband of their guest and decided to forgo his surf that morning. Decided to leave the beach to the boys for now. It seemed they needed it more than he did that morning. He would give them that time. He was sure they would learn why Callen had come to visit soon enough. If nothing else he could see in his husbands eyes that Henry really wanted to know.