Teddy Altman stroked the hair of her stiff, cold, pale but peaceful, deceased husband Henry Burton. She was still in shock. Cristina Yang had just told her in the scrub room that Henry was dead. Her sweet, gentle, kind, loving Henry. The first man she'd truly loved since Owen. With Henry there was no hesitation, no what if's in their relationship. Maybe in the beginning, for Teddy at least, but not anymore. They knew what they had, what they were, and what they wanted in life. They dreamed of a big wedding they didn't get to have once he was well again and established in Medical School, a new house in the suburbs and babies, lots of little babies, at least three.
Before Henry's health had took a turn again they had already started trying. Neither wanted to "go in order" of they way society says you're supposed to do things. Both were pushing 40 and even though Teddy knew many women had healthy pregnancies in their late forties and even early fifties, she didn't want to chance it.
So, Teddy did away with her birth control and Henry tossed out his condoms, and away they went for weeks.
She'd wanted a baby for so long. In the Army, she dreamed of marrying Owen and having her children with him, but that ship had sailed. He was still her best friend of course, but after Henry entered her life she quickly realized who she wanted her future with and what that future would entail. Now, she had no idea. Everything was shattered, destroyed. The broken glass in her heart and mind was scattered and she couldn't figure out how she was going to pick up the pieces.
"Henry...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She whimpered as she continued to stroke his hair.
Eventually her grief and exhaustion took over and she laid her head heavily laying on his chest. She couldn't even cry anymore, all of her tears had run dry.
The days and weeks went by after Henry's intimate burial and Teddy felt like a prisoner of her own mind. She no longer had Owen, because she declared that she "hated" him after he "put the needs of his hospital over her dead husband," when he kept Henry's death under wraps while she was in an important surgery. So Owen gave up looking for her forgiveness and stayed away from her unless it was work related.
Her residents and interns walked on eggshells around her as well. She wasn't mean or disrespectful towards them of course but they didn't know what to say or think of their boss who's husband just died suddenly, all they could do was be and do whatever she asked of them.
The only person she truly had, who she always had since day 1, was Arizona. Arizona listened to her cry until 3 in the morning on the phone about the life she envisioned with Henry, how she couldn't sleep without him right beside her, and when Teddy was vomiting nearly every day in the Attending's Lounge morning and night, Arizona was there to hold her long blonde hair back.
"Teddy...I think you need to slow down a bit. Maybe you came back too early? Maybe you need to take some time for yourself, and figure things out." Arizona said one night carefully, as she rubbed her friends back after a vomiting episode.
Teddy stared up at her with red, glassy eyes. They were like that because she'd been vomiting of course but she also began crying.
"Honey, what's going on? Just talk to me." Arizona pleaded sadly with her friend.
Teddy sat back, wiped away her tears and took a deep breath.
"Go get my bag. Please." Teddy asked.
Arizona obliged and grabbed her purse quickly.
She handed it to her and Teddy took it slowly. Arizona's heart skipped a beat when she pulled out the objects that revealed why she'd be sick almost every day for over a week.
Teddy handed Arizona three positive pregnancy tests.
Arizona was speechless as she stared down at them, Teddy saw her shock and nodded while letting out a humorless laugh.
"Yup. Found out this morning." Teddy began crying again, harder this time.
"Oh honey..." Arizona was crying softly herself now. She got down beside Teddy on the floor and wrapped her arm around her.
It was difficult. On the one hand, Arizona was thrilled for Teddy. She was finally pregnant. She'd wanted a baby for so long, and she and Henry had been trying. But that was just the thing, now there was no Henry. Teddy was carrying her dead husbands baby. She'd have to do this alone.
"What am I going to do, what the hell am I going to do Arizona?" Teddy cried.
Arizona rocked and shushed her.
"It's going to be okay honey, I promise. No matter what, you're going to have a baby. Henry's baby. You'll have a beautiful reminder of what you two had together." Arizona said.
"I-I can't." Teddy shook her head.
"But Teddy, you wanted a baby. You want this."
"This?!" Teddy suddenly got up and shouted, "This, this is not what I wanted Arizona. My husband, dead and gone. Me, pregnant and alone with no one to share these precious moments with? To give birth and raise this child alone?!"
Arizona stood up slowly.
"I know this is unimaginable, and sure as hell not what you planned but-" Teddy cut her off.
"No, this isn't what I planned. And I'm not going to keep the reminder that my beloved husband is gone..." Teddy composed herself and looked at Arizona with pained, pleading eyes..."Arizona, I want you to give me an abortion. Please."