The chamber clicked empty; the Wraith had fallen to its knees and it wobbled injured but not dead. Rodney knew in that moment if he didn't kill it now the Wraith would finish him for sure. He grabbed the Wraith's weapon from its loose grasp and turned the gun upon it. McKay did not hesitate in shooting it more than once in the face. It flailed and writhed and stopped moving. McKay shot it one more time to be sure, forcing down the sickened feeling he felt rising.

Rodney moved to where Sheppard was and saw the wound he'd taken. There was a significant hole and the wetness of the blood made the black shirt shine. For a moment panic washed over him, it was interspersed with terror.

'I don't know what to do,' he said to no one.

He fumbled around Sheppard's neck looking for a pulse; it was there, just. McKay didn't hear any wraith nearby but he knew damn well that didn't mean anything. He couldn't even try to patch Sheppard up, he had to move him now. McKay's chest was pounding and his breaths were short and shallow. He put a new clip into his gun and took John's too, looping it over his shoulder. Getting Sheppard out of here and into one of the area's the entity had access too was a priority. Although he wasn't sure how much moving John would damage the wound, he knew he had to try. They were about fifty meters from where they wanted to be; Rodney hoped the Wraith wouldn't be there waiting for him.

Of course what he should have hoped for was the strength to move John all that way. Moving Sheppard on a flat surface on a day where he wasn't already physically and mentally exhausted would have been hard. Today it was damn near impossible. He tried to get Shepard over his shoulder, even though he knew he wasn't strong enough, and failed. Rodney looped his arms around Sheppard's chest and under his arms. Over uneven ground, tree roots and vines, Rodney dragged Sheppard and tried to ignore the trail of blood he left. It was hard, his body shook with the effort. As sweat dripped down his face McKay swore he'd workout more if only he could move Sheppard just a bit farther.

At the side of the arboretum Rodney saw a green flashing light. Relief flooded through him. The light gave him hope and with that he found more energy. There was a small opening to what seemed to be some sort of service tunnel. McKay dragged John in and shut the door behind him. The entity sealed the door as it had done previously.

Rodney took off his pack and took out his first aid kit. He then opened the front of Sheppard's shirt; his hands shook and the blood on them made it slippery.

'Oh god,' he said. There was a slow trickle of blood and some of the wound had been cauterised. Being able to see inside was near impossible and he knew he wouldn't know what to do if he could. He took out some bandages and did his best to stem the flow. Once or twice Sheppard groaned but didn't become conscious. Once or twice Rodney's bottom lip quivered with the threat of completely losing it.

The green light started flashing again and Rodney picked up his bag and guns. He started to drag Sheppard towards the lights. Luckily he didn't have to go far, a small side room opened up and Rodney manoeuvred Sheppard in. The door shut but this time didn't seal. Rodney sat on the floor next to Sheppard. The bandages he'd used were already soaked. He hoped they would hold for a bit longer now Sheppard was still. Sheppard's face was a shade of pale Rodney had never seen on him. The roles had been reversed. Sheppard had helped him, stuck by him and got him safe; he had to do the same. But he was scared. Rodney held up his hand and watched: it was still shaking and covered in Sheppard's blood.

The lights caught his eye and he went over to a panel. He knew he had to touch it despite Sheppard's constant insistence he shouldn't. But right or wrong, he'd run out of options. He placed his hand in the square of warm and slightly pulsing wall. Like before, he felt himself falling away but this time it was gentle. He was aware of being inside the room with Sheppard. The entity reached out to him, softly and Rodney responded in kind. He felt its sympathy and its concern for John. He knew it wanted to help and tried to convey that they really needed it. He felt the entity tug him and he allowed it to lead him to a memory. He saw people, doctors from the look of what they were doing, healing wounds that looked extremely similar to the wounds Sheppard had received. They had tubes of black fluid which they poured over the injuries and Rodney was surprised to see them heal quickly.

'Yes, that's what we need. Where is it?' Rodney asked eagerly.

The entity darkened the moment with the feeling of danger.

'It's dangerous? Is that what you are saying?' A green flash was his reply.

'Dangerous to Sheppard?' A red flash.

'To me?' A green flash.

'I don't care. Tell me where it is or how to get it.'

Rodney was pulled to another moment and he saw an arboretum. A little flip of fear from his gut reminded him where he'd seen it before. It was the one that the Wraith had entered but had been attacked by something in there. He remembered the Wraith didn't heal from his injuries. There was a plant in there that produced the black sap needed to help Sheppard. The entity showed him what the plant looked like; it looked unpleasant, but clearly that didn't matter.

'I have to go back the way we came?' A green flash.

Rodney took his hand off the panel and put the hand to his head, unknowingly wiping Sheppard's blood there.

'I don't know if I'm capable of this,' he said to the room. The room flashed blue and then blended to green.

'I appreciate the vote of confidence.'

Rodney bent down beside Sheppard and changed the bandages quickly. He left his bag and gun, taking Sheppard's gun and ammo. He looked at Sheppard and he could see how his breathing had become shallow.

'Even if I could get you to the gate, there's no way of knowing if I can get through it. It's probably surrounded by Wraith. Going back is risky, what if I get lost? What would you do?' Rodney glanced at the door. He knew exactly what Sheppard would do, go and get the weird alien plant sap and save his life. And then Rodney allowed himself to think about the kiss, just for a moment. He shut his eyes and thought about Sheppard staring into his eyes and that first touch of his lips.

'Weird alien plant sap it is.'

McKay wrote a quick note in case Sheppard woke up: 'Gone to get medicine, stay here'. He propped it up on the bag. Once he'd gathered what he needed, McKay walked to the door and paused. He looked back at Sheppard and really hoped this wouldn't be the last time that he saw him.

'I have to try… I know you would.'

His gut clenched in fear, but Rodney touched the door, it rippled open and he walked through. This was absolutely the last thing he wanted to be doing.

McKay quietly made his way down the access tunnel and gripped Sheppard's gun tightly as he approached the exit. He saw it was green lit and he carefully poked his head out of the door. He saw nothing, but he waited and listened. After a few minutes he sneaked into the undergrowth. This part was made easier by following the trail of John's blood. Retching slightly, McKay took a moment. He knew he should've eaten something, but he just felt constantly sickened.

Rodney thought about why he was walking slowly towards his own death. Somehow doing it on your own was much worse than with company. Not he wished anyone harm, but dying alone sucked. Unfortunately his great intellect was working away to provide a number of ways in which he might die. This was the down side to being extremely smart, it was all too easy to predict death. Risk taking was a well prepared thing, of course he couldn't predict everything that had been proven a number of times. Doing the right thing wasn't always obvious or clear cut. This was one of those times. It wasn't like him to ignore the many inherent risks involved in what he was doing, but Sheppard's comment to him about being unable to change had cut him deeply. For a while he'd just buried the hurt and ignored it as best he could, but after the incident waiting for the water to clear he could ignore it no longer.

As he made his way through the brush, Rodney distracted himself from the physical pain by thinking about Sheppard. It was a confusing moment, the kiss. Rodney had always thought Sheppard was good looking, but paid it little mind. After all, Sheppard liked women and he was military. You can appreciate someone's looks from afar. Sexuality wasn't some fixed linear thing for Rodney, it very much depended on the person. He had a habit of fixating on beautiful people, he knew he couldn't be let down because he never expected a chance in hell. But then Sheppard changed the rules.

Once he started to get close to where the fight had happened he slowed down and listened again. Nothing. Approaching with caution McKay came into the clearing and saw the Wraith still laying where he'd left it. Had he killed it? He could see it wasn't breathing, but then he knew well enough not to take that for granted. He walked past it, watching it with every step. Perhaps it hadn't healed like the other injured Wraith they'd seen. As he stepped through the next section he constantly looked over his shoulder, expecting the Wraith to burst through like some horror movie cliché. Moving through the greenery was tougher than before, this time he didn't have Sheppard helping him. And then he realised he'd have to do it again on the way back. Fuck.

Getting back to the bottom of the area that had been flooded was fairly easy, but then, he quickly realised, climbing up the shaft that led there was also much harder this way around. The darkness he climbed in was terrifying; more than once he had to stop just to be able to breathe without the fear of his heart beating out of his chest. He imagined Sheppard goading him along and realised that was exactly what he had been doing. Not just then, but the whole way. The constant jokes, comments and annoyances had all been to keep him on track. McKay smiled and then remembered where he was and the smiled dropped away. He continued to climb. Once at the top he carefully exited and he realised straight away that he didn't know where he was going. Sheppard had been the one to keep track. Rodney started to glace around hoping for some point of reference.

'Don't panic,' McKay muttered to himself.

The full force of just how exhausted he was hit him. Tears started to burn in his eyes and he wiped at them angrily. This was exactly why Sheppard had shouted at him all those weeks ago. He needed to stay in control, just like Sheppard would. Just give him a database or a math problem to solve and he'd be your man, but this macho stuff… How did they all do it? Ronon, Teyla and Sheppard: he knew if any of them had been in this situation then Sheppard would be saved. But it was him. Fuck, he felt weak. He took out the power bar in his pocket and took a moment to have a few bites before moving on. It was hard to swallow and the smell from down here did not help.

'It smells like something died,' McKay said chewing aloud but realising something. 'The smell was worse where the wraith were and Sheppard dropped the glow stick.'

Rodney sniffed about until he found where the stench was strongest and followed it. He walked for a good ten minutes before he realised there were no green flashing lights. He stopped and looked around, nothing. Odd and worrying. He couldn't help being worried about Sheppard, it was a constant fear in the back of his mind. Not for one second did he forget why he was here. And then he saw the glow stick, softly illuminating the area a yellow-green.

Quietly, he stepped forward to the grating on the floor and squatted down to look through. The smell was pretty bad now, but he remained quiet and listened. After a while he pried the grating open as quietly as he could. Although all he could hear was his thumping heart. Slowly he popped his head over the edge and looked: all clear. His only option here was the hang and drop, so he double checked his gun and bag were properly attached and tried to lower himself. Rodney realised quite quickly he did not have the strength to lower himself and would fall; there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He landed with an unceremonious loud thud, which hurt his knees. Scrambling backwards to the wall, McKay held the gun ready, waiting for the imagined hordes of wraith to swarm him. They didn't come.

The arboretum doors were closed and out of the entranceway there was a slew of Wraith ichor. It continued up the corridor and out of Rodney's sight. He stood, wincing as his knees cracked, a shooting pain quickly passed and McKay hoped it wasn't real damage. He approached the doors and saw there was a gap, enough to pry. The entity wasn't opening them so using the butt of the gun, Rodney jimmied open the doors. As he did so the stench that had been held back by the doors rushed through. He tried to hold up the gun and be ready, but the smell was overwhelming. The few bites of power bar he'd had came right on up. He retched until empty and then a few more times. Straightening up Rodney held the gun ready and hoped to hell Sheppard had been right. Whatever was causing that smell needed to be dead and not alive or angry. Or hungry.

Rodney held up his hand and watched: it shook. Clearly, being brave wasn't in his remit.

'Let's face it, Meredith, brave or terrified,' he said to himself, 'You're fucked either way.' He stepped through the doors.

XxXxX

There was a lot of darkness and John stayed there for a while, it was warm and cosy. He was aware of someone else but they were far, far away. Eventually, John became aware of a blueness to everything. It wasn't worrying or troubling, it was calming and he felt at ease. Then the 'someone else' became clearer, pushing carefully forward, slowly making themselves known.

'Hi,' said Sheppard. Saying that had been weird, like speaking without moving his mouth. He tried again.

'Hello?' Around him he felt reassurance and the calm blue flashed.

'Oh, it's you.' The lights flash a positive green and went back to blue.

'Am I dead?' Green, but Sheppard felt an overwhelming amusement coming from it.

'What's so funny?' The entity showed him Rodney asking the very same question.

'Well that kinda figures.'

Sheppard then remembered what had happened, fear gripped him.

'Is he dead?' Red flash.

'But, I'm dying aren't I?' There was a significant pause and then green.

'Is that why I am here?' The entity showed him a vision of himself laying on the floor, bleeding.

'Where's McKay?' Sheppard saw McKay dragging him down a corridor and into the room he was laying in. He saw how Rodney tried to help him. Sheppard smiled when he saw Rodney touch the wall, of course he did. The entity showed their entire exchange. Sheppard watched with increasing alarm and interjected in the playback.

'No, no… please tell me he didn't go back?' Sheppard felt an unfamiliar and unpleasant feeling in his gut. The entity showed him Rodney getting ready to leave and saying "I have to try… I know you would".

Sheppard remained quiet for a few minutes trying to play out scenarios out in his head where Rodney somehow succeeds. When that failed he considered the likelihood of Rodney surviving, also failing. The odds of another team coming through was unlikely, but it might happen. If it did that would be great, but it wasn't something he could rely on. If he'd been in Rodney's shoes, he'd have done the exact same thing. So McKay was right on that. The thought of Rodney out there on his own was deeply troubling. He'd seen what McKay could do in the right circumstances, but he often fell short with the physical. A terrible thought was starting to dawn on Sheppard. He knew Rodney could be reckless in the moment, sometimes he'd even say brave, but this… trekking through an alien station filled with Wraith? This was a new level of stupidity for McKay. Sheppard smirked for a moment, he was actually impressed. Not that he'd be telling McKay that of course. Assuming he lived.

'So… flashing light entity? What are you?' Sheppard felt trepidation and fear, a grey flashed. 'You don't have to be scared of me. I mean, I'm not exactly in a position to do anything about it am I?'

The entity showed him a memory. There was a massive room with what John assumed was scientific equipment; lots of wires, tubes and computers. They led into a centralised area and John thought it looked a little similar to the area before the huge water tank, but more machine-like and less bio-whatever. Then with that realisation his mind disconnected from the entity's thoughts and internalised to his own. John was sitting beside Rodney again and he felt that electric from before, shoot through his middle. It was those blue eyes; wide and piercing. It felt as though they saw straight through him. It was disconcerting to see the memory again, up close through his own eyes. He knew what was coming. They'd played, he'd flirted. It wasn't the first time he'd flirted with McKay but usually McKay didn't respond. This time there was something in his face, maybe the fear or the exhaustion highlighted it, but John felt like he truly saw him. It was the vulnerability, it just cut through Rodney's usual masks. John relived the moment, enjoyed the look of need on Rodney's face and the passion in the kiss. Looking back on it like this Sheppard could see how McKay had let go of his usual restraints. It pleased him to see Rodney gaining some confidence. Amongst other things.

The entity waited politely and then jogged John's mind with a little blip of impatience.

'Sorry,' Sheppard said, feeling a little embarrassed. 'I er… got distracted.'

They went back into the memory of the centralised room and he saw, what he assumed were scientists, working intensely. He saw a time lapse of them scurrying around like ants. They were trying desperately to create, no reanimate, something. It was dying and somehow this control room had much to do with it. It became clear to John that these people depended on it to survive, or they needed it to continue surviving, he wasn't quite sure of the context. Sheppard suspected that the Wraith might be the thing these people feared. He'd seen it time and time again in colonies throughout Pegasus, the desperate measures different groups had made to survive. It made him feel desperately sad each time he found one, knowing that he wouldn't be there if they'd succeeded.

There was a moment in the replay that told Sheppard they'd had a breakthrough. The same black sap that he'd been shown previously was the answer somehow. This time the entity showed him where the sap came from. Footage from a soldier's camera showed a group trudging through dense forest. John expected something to happen, why else would the entity show it to him, but he wasn't ready to feel the feelings of those involved to overwhelm him. The panic, even the terror they felt was bearable compared to the pain and eventual death. The plants were carnivorous. They were also clever. It seemed to John that they covered a wide area with what appeared to be near invisible hair like strands. When a creature wandered in the plants opened up one of many tubes that the animal would then disappear down. Inside, an acidic substance would coat it and, slowly, it would be digested. Humans didn't die so quick. John felt sick to his stomach and mercifully the entity skipped ahead. Eventually survivors made it back but those who'd been enveloped in the acid were heightened to pain and suffered as a consequence. Some had managed to gather samples and they were rewarded with finding a healing agent with no precedent.

Sheppard couldn't help getting caught up in the moment, in the strangers emotions and celebrations. They'd succeeded. But if they had, where were they now? Did they leave? There were no bodies, no signs of a fight or of an evacuation: it made no sense.

But then something clicked into place and a swell of fear washed over Sheppard.

'They're here, aren't they? Those Triffid things… that's what Rodney…' he couldn't finish saying it. The entity flashed green.

'I didn't ask him to do that. Does he know?' The entity flashed red.

'Why didn't you tell him?' The entity was silent but showed him McKay's reaction to his injuries.

'He'll die in there!' Sheppard shouted, well mentally anyway. All he felt was rage. Rage at the entity for letting Rodney go, rage at Rodney actually growing a backbone and rage at the fact he was helpless… dying.

The entity prodded at him with another memory.

'No, no more.' Sheppard waved it away.

It prodded again.

'What?'

John saw a young man, a scientist, no more than twenty working on the machine in the previous memory. He seemed to work harder than everyone else, staying well beyond the others who helped him. Sheppard watched impassively, trying not to think about the plants or Rodney. It was clear to him, at least with his limited knowledge that the machine they were creating was bio-mechanical, probably the area he stood in… laid in. It made sense, he'd seen lots of things required for communal living, which if they wanted to avoid the Wraith, they'd need in abundance. Everything had worked for these people, they sealed themselves in, and the Wraith couldn't find them. They had people, food, water, warmth and computers to carry on work with. He saw that they had families, children… lives. When somebody got sick they cured it with the black sap from the plants. The machine also needed little care as the sap helped with the bio aspect of its existence. But Sheppard started to see where the entity was leading him; they ran out of sap. Sure enough they grew their own and at first it was all hunky dory. However, the plants were aggressive and soon they took over the arboretum they grew in. It had to be sealed off. When the need for the black sap arose they'd send people in to retrieve it. The plant couldn't exist without food, so they reared small animals to feed it.

Sheppard could see it was a slow decline. People died as they tried to only retrieve sap when absolutely necessary and when they did the plants adapted their traps.

'This is all very interesting, but none of this explains to me what you are?'

The entity showed John the young scientist, though not so young… positively decrepit in fact. In the central control area with all the pipes. He sat down next to the middle, not far from where he and Rodney had rested. Next to him was a panel and he opened it to reveal a series of what looked like blood vessels, except they weren't. He cut his arm open and started to stick some of these tubes into his arm. Then he took a tube of the black sap and poured it onto the open wound. Sheppard winced as the man screamed and screamed. Then the entity ended the vision and Sheppard returned to the less comforting blackness of before.

'You… what? Integrated yourself?' Green flash.

'Why?' It showed him the other people still alive in the memory. His family. Sheppard approved. 'You did what you had too, I get that.'

The entity showed him how he integrated at the systems, grew out like a plant himself and protected the people for as long as he could. One by one they died until the entity was alone. Sheppard felt a wash of despair flood over him.

'I'm sorry.' Sheppard said simply, knowing the words were not enough.

The entity then showed him the Wraith. They'd tried to get in before, on many, many occasions, and the entity had managed to keep them out. But time and the lack of repair had taken its toll. Out of desperation the entity used the Stargate to signal worlds it thought could help.

'So you need more of the black stuff? Is that why you sent Rodney after it?' Sheppard could feel his anger rising again.

A bright red flash.

'Woah, ok.'

Sheppard felt a series of emotions in quick bursts, but the entity settled on a memory instead. An old woman, asleep peacefully. Sheppard nodded.

'You want to die.' Sustained green light, that didn't fade away emphasised the strength of what the entity wanted.

'Well… I think we can assist one another. Help me, help Rodney and I will do everything I can to help you.'

The entity showed Sheppard the room he laid in and highlighted the panel on the wall.

'You want me touch that?' A green flash. 'And then what?'

It showed him systems he could access, including the Stargate.

'Why didn't you mention this before?'

It showed him Rodney passing out when he first touched the panel.

'It will do that to me?' A green flash. 'Well… I don't really have anything else to do before I die.'

The entity failed to mention the pain and it took Sheppard a while to get control of himself. On the plus side, no-one was around to see him cry. It took him fifteen or so minutes to drag himself to the wall. As he laid there, shaking with the effort and pain, Sheppard remembered how much he'd told Rodney off for doing what he was about to do.

'Well, I guess here goes nothing.'