Lorne reacted first by reaching forward and taking the vial from Rodney's shaking hand. He looked out behind Rodney and into the corridor he just emerged from checking for the others and probably Wraith. Carson noted that McKay wobbled slightly as he stood. Unsteady and weary looking.

'Where's Teyla and Stevens?' Lorne asked.

'I didn't see them,' Rodney looked behind confused, 'was I meant too?'

Lorne ignored the question and focused on the sticky vial in his hand.

'What is this?' He jiggled it and it glooped around viscously.

'The sap from a particularly horrific smelling plant.'

Lorne passed it to Carson who took it and looked doubtfully at it.

'Are you ok, Rodney?' asked Carson.

'I'm fine. You need to give that to Sheppard, just pour it on the wound,' McKay nodded encouragingly, still slightly breathless.

'Rodney, there is no way I am pouring this on to Sheppard's injuries, god knows what it will do,' Carson shook his head.

'It's fine, the entity told me it was the right thing to use.' Carson and Lorne exchanged a telling glance. What entity? Carson ran possibilities through his mind, like group hallucination or some mind altering alien interfering. He knew something was communicating with them, but it did not mean it was entirely friendly. What other reasons could there be for doing the actions it had suggested to McKay?

'Rodney with all due respect there is absolutely no way I would advocate using an unknown substance, the side effects alone…' Carson stared at the tube.

'How is he?' Rodney indicated Sheppard.

'Not good,' Carson said, echoing Ronon's words from before.

'Then use it.'

'I told you, Rodney, it's not safe.'

'I know and I told you it's fine.'

'How would you know that without extensive testing?'

'Because I already used it on myself.'

'You did what?' Carson's eyebrows flew up in shock.

'I tested it, I used it on myself.'

'Why on earth would you do that?' Carson didn't know why he was surprised, it was exactly the sort of thing McKay would do.

'Because I was hurt and I couldn't make it back. I knew if I didn't… he'd die.' Rodney left out the little details like he nearly dying himself and the pain that was so excruciating he blacked out more than once.

Carson stood up and looked at Rodney in disbelief.

'That was an incredibly stupid thing to do.'

'Well, I accidently got poisoned by the plant and I remembered…'

'The same plant you got the sap from?'

'Yes.' The look Carson gave Rodney started with utter disbelief but ended with annoyance. 'Think about it,' Rodney breathed heavily still trying to catch his breath, 'Plants often are the cure to their own toxins on earth.'

'That… That is true sometimes,' Carson begrudgingly admitted.

'It's true now, give it to Shepard.'

'Rodney, it's not tested and even if it didn't appear to kill him now, it might do later.'

'Deal with that later then.'

'Rodney!'

McKay looked from Carson to Lorne, both had their shocked judging faces on. It was a particular expression people reserved for when Rodney was operating outside of social norms. He didn't care. He didn't have time to molly-coddle the less intelligent or their feelings. It was this stuff that drove him mad, having to explain and waste valuable time they didn't have.

'There are things in play here, information I don't have time to distil down for you,' Rodney points at the vial, 'I am vastly more intelligent than anyone else in this room and I take massively calculated risks with people's lives all the time. I am good at it. It's one of the reasons I am out here in Pegasus, doing what I do. I win far more than I lose. I bet my own life on taking that sap and I am willing to bet his too. You should be trusting my expert opinion right now.' Rodney's eyes were wide with the strength of his anger.

'Well I'm not, Rodney. I hear what you are saying but there is no way I am giving Sheppard an unknown toxic organic compound.' Carson did not take offense at Rodney's belligerence, it was almost normal. Although… there was something else, desperation?

Rodney sagged where he stood. The exhaustion of everything suddenly overtook him the cost mentally and physically of everything he'd done to get to this moment only to be stopped by his well-meaning friends.

'You don't understand…' His eyes were bright with tears that threatened to fall.

Carson stood and went to him.

'Come sit down and… Rodney are you bleeding?' Carson looked at the floor where Rodney stood, there were several drops of blood by his feet.

'No… not anymore.'

'Sit down.'

Carson checked Sheppard briefly and then started to quickly assess Rodney.

McKay had not given up. He sat carefully and quietly, waiting for his moment to give Sheppard the plant sap. It wasn't their fault that they did not understand what was happening but he'd be damned if he were just going to sit by and let John die. McKay knew if he acted tired and weary they would take their focus off him. The exhaustion wasn't fake, the tears and frustration were not fake. It wasn't like him to be so devious, but exceptional circumstances allowed for strange things to happen. As it was he didn't have to wait long for a reasonable distraction.

'Wraith,' Lorne hissed.

Lorne and Ronon took position to defend. Rodney held up Sheppard's gun and aimed at the doorway. Lorne shot first and the Wraith shot back. Ronon walked out into the corridor and there were sound of fighting. Rodney suspected Ronon was taking care of the problem. He walked back in and nodded at Lorne.

'It was just two for now.'

Then the room started to flash red.

'Rodney?'

'It's trying to warn us, I would guess more Wraith inbound.'

Lorne pointed at Sheppard.

'Can we move him yet?'

'No.' Carson shook his head.

'Doctor, we are going to be moving one way or another, get Sheppard ready.'

Carson didn't look happy, but started to prep Sheppard anyway.

Rodney realised he'd missed the ideal opportunity to sneak the sap to Sheppard and huffed. He'd gotten caught up in the moment and missed his chance. He looked over at Sheppard. He was so pale… pallid. Rodney's gut twisted with fear for John. Carson unpacked and assembled some sort of strong but lightweight stretcher and asked Ronon to help him move Sheppard. John didn't wake or stir and Carson watched him like a Hawk.

A shot narrowly missed Ronon just as Lorne shouted 'Wraith.' The next moments were a blur for Rodney. He and Carson moved Sheppard as close to the exit as they could. McKay's achy muscles screamed at the renewed work they had to do. Lorne and Ronon forced the Wraith back with oppressive fire allowing McKay and Carson to get Sheppard out. The retreated back the way they had come right up till the arboretum. This time the green lights led a different path; McKay did not question them. Instead he directed Carson that way and Lorne and Ronon were forced to follow.

'Where the hell are you going, McKay?' Lorne shouted.

'To the Stargate,' McKay shouted back. He was guessing, but it was a good guess. He'd started to remember some of the direction and distance they'd been heading and knew they were going that way. When they reached the corridor just before the gate room the remaining Wraith made their presence known. McKay and the others were trapped between the two groups of Wraith. Rodney supported and returned fire until a shot glanced his arm and seared his flesh. He yelled out in pain but held his gun up, still firing. The Wraith pressed forward from both sides, Lorne yelled to keep the pressure up and Rodney heard Ronon shouting support too. And then… there was a lot more shooting. Ronon stopped covering their rear and joined Lorne at the front. Stevens then followed. Teyla ran up to where Rodney was squatting down next to Sheppard and Carson.

'Are you ok, Rodney?' McKay nodded. He saw Teyla wince looking at Sheppard.

The shooting stopped and Lorne shouted the all clear. Ronon continued to watch the gate room door. Carson in the meantime was checking Sheppard. He looked at Lorne directly.

'We are losing Sheppard.'

'Let's get him out of here,' Lorne looked to Ronon, 'Ronon, we'll clear the gate room.'

'No, no…' Carson's hands move quickly trying to find a pulse on Sheppard. His face was grim, his mouth pressed into a bloodless line. After a few moments Carson puts his head down to Sheppard's chest to listen.

Rodney reached into his bag and pulled out another vial of black sap. He didn't look at Carson, nor did he ask permission. Even when Carson said his name and tried to grab his hands, Rodney ignored him and found the strength to resist. He poured the vial on to Sheppard's open wound. McKay dropped the vial to one side and watched John's face for any reaction. The gunfire stopped and Sheppard still hadn't moved. Lorne and Ronon ran back into the corridor looking rattled and on edge.

'Ok the gate room is clear, let's go –'

Lorne is cut off mid-sentence as Sheppard started to violently arch his back as though a current passed through him. Rodney knew what this was, he'd been through it himself. The pain was… indescribable. Carson tried to hold Sheppard down, but was failing.

'You gave him that black shit?' Lorne's disbelief and anger was immediate. The adrenaline of the gun battle was still flowing through his veins. He grabbed Rodney by the collar and yanked him off the ground. Ronon grabbed Lorne's arm and glared at him for a few seconds. Lorne relented but gave daggers to McKay.

'We need to leave now.'

'Thanks, Ronon.' McKay whispered.

'Don't thank me yet, he'd better live…' Ronon trailed off leaving the threat unsaid.

'Ronon, help Stevens with Sheppard,' Lorne ordered.

'I don't think he's ready to be moved yet,' Carson gestured at Sheppard convulsing.

'We are not waiting for the next wave of Wraith. We move now.'

They walked through into the gate room, stepping over a few dead Wraith laying on the floor. Lorne opened the gate and contacted Atlantis. The room started to flash yellow. Rodney felt the entity's fear wash over him, the dread, the pain and anguish. He fell to his knees and braced himself on all fours. It was too much… The entity tried desperately to show Rodney images to explain itself. It hurt and the pressure started to build up inside his head.

'For god's sake, McKay,' Lorne misread the situation and grabbed at McKay's arm to yank him back up to his feet, which worked for a moment. What Lorne hadn't foreseen was McKay screaming and holding his head.

'We can't leave!' shouted McKay.

Lorne didn't bother to reply and started to drag McKay to the Stargate.

'No, we have to stay.'

Rodney turned and tried to go back, but Lorne did not relinquish his hold on him. McKay twisted and ducked under Lorne's grasp. Lorne held fast and when Rodney hit him it took him totally by surprise. Using the moment to his advantage Rodney wriggled free and started to move away from the gate room. Ronon grabbed him from behind and his eyes widened in surprise at the fierceness of McKay's struggle. Rodney stamped down on Ronon's foot and wrenched himself away. A momentary victory as he was now cornered by Ronon, Lorne and Teyla. He had Sheppard and Carson at his back but he didn't pay them any attention. The need to stay was consuming.

'You don't understand…' Rodney winced in pain as waves of fear passed through him from the entity. 'We… have… to stay.'

'Rodney, you are not yourself. You are not thinking straight.' Teyla held out her hand, open. 'Please, just come with us and we will help.'

Rodney waved her hand and help away, though the effort sent a fresh wave of pain through him.

Carson caught Teyla's eye and reached into his bag pulling out a sedative. She glanced at Ronon who took the cue.

'McKay, Shepard needs medical attention…' Ronon drew McKay's attention.

Carson calmly walked up behind McKay and administered a sedative while Ronon was speaking. Rodney dropped like a stone.

'Right, if you three have finished fannying about, Shepard needs moving,' Carson said. Carson did not have time to worry too much about his medicine clashing with whatever was wrong with Rodney. Sheppard needed Atlantis.

'What am I looking at here?'

'Well, let's start with the easy one, shall we?' Carson waved Weir over to the bed Sheppard laid in. 'Sheppard received a wound to the lower abdomen via a Wraith weapon. It did a lot of damage internally and Sheppard was mortally wounded.'

'Mortally?'

'Aye, but whatever Rodney gave him kick started the healing process. It started to repair by the time I came to operate. I had to do very little when it came down to it.'

'Do we know what Rodney gave him?'

'Not really, but I am doing extensive tests.'

'How is Sheppard now?'

'He's fine.'

'Fine?'

'Yes, fine. I share your disbelief, if I hadn't have seen him dying myself…'

'So… he'll just recover?'

'Yes. If there are side effects I haven't seen any in his bloodwork or any of the tests I've done. But we aren't out of the park yet with that one. He'll need a few days rest in here for me to be sure.'

'And Rodney?' Weir frowned as she said his name. She'd had a brief report from Lorne and frankly she was very concerned about Rodney.

'Where to start? Exhaustion, hypoglycaemia, minor flesh wound from a Wraith weapon, fracture of the patella, cuts, contusions, head trauma, possible concussion, ingestion of unknown plant sap, poison from the same plant and that's just the physical stuff.'

'What's the non-physical stuff?'

'My immediate concern was delayed shock, but after speaking to Teyla I realised he's had empathic, possibly telepathic communication with an unknown alien. So there's that. An assessment will have to be done but he hasn't really spoken about what he's been through and for Rodney that's a warning sign.'

'Has he been awake much?'

'Off and on. I have kept him mildly sedated. I saw how agitated he became when we tried to leave and I'm concerned he still might not be in his right mind. He has mentioned that we should go back, quite insistent. I told him I'd let you know. So now you know.'

'What about the Wraith killing weapon we heard about?'

'I saw nothing to indicate such a weapon.'

'What about the famed power source?'

'Again, I saw little. I imagine Rodney will know more. Perhaps you could drop by tomorrow morning?'

'I can do that.'

'But go easy, I am concerned…'

'I understand Doctor.'

'I will be requesting Dr Heightmeyer's help I think.'

'Whatever you need to get our people back up and running.'

Elizabeth looked at McKay and Sheppard laying so quietly. It was unnerving not to hear these two bickering or sniping at each other. While she knew they both would recover it was difficult not to worry anyway. Their story thus far was relatively untold and she could admit to herself that her curiosity went way beyond concern for the two of them. She wanted to know about the power sources and she wanted that potential wraith killing weapon. Both party's wouldn't blame her for these thoughts of course, Rodney's scientific curiosity and John's defensive instincts both would want answers. But she had to be patient for a while, their recovery was important too. The expertise in leadership came from knowing the balance… or something very like that.

Sheppard opened his eyes and looked around the med bay. He was mildly surprised to be alive: the last thing he remembered was dying. Or perhaps it was nearly dying. Instinctively his hands went to his torso and felt for the wound he knew he'd had. It was still there but… it was not painful. Sheppard sat up slightly and looked around to see where he was and was relieved to see Atlantis. McKay laying in the bed beside him. A pang of concern threaded through him.

'Good morning, Major,' Carson smiled brightly. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes, but he tried really hard.

'It certainly is, especially as I didn't expect to have another morning.' Sheppard saw Carson's expression flicker from the cheer for a moment. 'Well, it's clearly not all good news?'

'There's not bad news, just uncertain news.'

'May as well get it over with while I'm on such a lucky roll.'

'Your wound is healing exceptionally well, I'd expect you to be up and about within a day or so,' Sheppard's eyebrows rose in surprise, 'But…'

'Ah the ever present and eventful but…'

'Rodney treated you with an unknown organic compound, which in his defence, did work despite my misgivings. However, I have no way of knowing what the short term or long term effects might be.'

'The plant serum?' Asked Sheppard.

'Yes,' Carson looked confused. 'How did you know about that?'

'The entity told me about it.'

'You had contact with it too?' Carson's frown threated to make his eyebrows meet in the middle. 'Telepathically?'

'Er… I guess so. It didn't speak directly, it just showed me images of things or feelings. It tended to show me the less happy fun times. ' Sheppard watched as Carson added notes to a tablet he was holding. 'Is that a problem?'

'Yes… no.' Carson shrugged, 'I don't know, it might do.'

'Well as long as you are sure.' Sheppard smiled.

'This entity seems to have affected you all differently.'

'All? Just the two of us as I recall.'

'Teyla too, but she seems fine. Well you do too actually…'

Sheppard glanced over to Rodney and his smile slipped away. He looked back to Carson who was watching him and didn't get the chance to voice the question he wanted to ask.

'Rodney has not reacted well to the events, which might be in part to the entity's communication.'

'Why, what has he said?'

'He said he was fine.'

'That's it?'

'Yes.'

'Oh. That's not good.'

'That was my general feeling too.'

Weir and Dr Heightmeyer entered the room just as Sheppard was about to ask more, but put on his best 'I'm great' face instead. Weir spent a few minutes outlining Lorne's report so that he was caught up with what transpired. Heightmeyer said little but informed him they would need to have a chat in the near future. Sheppard had little to say apart from a quip here and there. Eventually, he feigned tiredness and pulled the 'I've been shot' card.

He lay in his bed, eyes shut but trying to doze. John listened to the medical staff moving around and Carson's friendly chatter amongst them. He could hear Rodney's soft snoring which he found oddly comforting in its regularity. Deep inside Sheppard, feelings kept trying to surface, a menagerie trying to be heard. John knew just how to deal with them by shoving them back down, deep down till he couldn't hear them anymore. Once he did this, he found sleep came much easier.

An amount of time passed and Sheppard was drawn to the surface of his consciousness by voices, softly spoken. It was not an immediate thing but rather a gentle awakening. He listened and realised Heightmeyer was discussing him with Carson.

'I agree, it's not the physical injuries that are the cause for concern.'

'He's not been awake much. I would imagine shock is a factor here.'

'Yes. The initial physical shock will fade but the mental one…'

'I guess there's no way to know until he starts being more responsive. I could start to wind back the sedation, have someone present at all times… just in case.'

'I think that's probably wise. Sedation is only delaying the inevitable I'm afraid.'

Sheppard then realised they were talking about McKay.

'Do we know any more about what he's been through specifically?'

'I've pieced together a timeline of sorts. But specific events? An alien mind invaded his, caused the blackout in the first instance. He survived an encounter with the Wraith that Sheppard didn't. I know Rodney and I know that seeing Sheppard gunned down would be devastating especially if he was helpless to prevent it. In fact, lack of control over the given situation would have tested him in the worst of ways I think. Then there's the time he was alone, hours as I understand it.'

'Do we know what happened in that timeframe?'

'Only that he retrieved an organic compound from a plant on the say so of the entity that was in his mind.'

'Is that all?'

'Rodney was injured and took the organic compound himself. I've not found the source for the injury, it must have healed. I can only surmise that it wasn't as serious as Sheppard's wound and therefore it would have healed quicker. There was blood on his trousers, but no damage.'

'That's sounds incredibly risky.'

'It was, but you have to understand, doing risky, logic defying acts is not uncommon for Rodney. In fact, when you combine Sheppard into the mix I would say it definitely multiplies the chance of him doing something that most people would run from.'

Sheppard fought hard not to laugh and give himself away.

'So, in your opinion he takes more risks when Sheppard is around?'

There was a pause here, Sheppard assumed Carson was thinking.

'Yes.'

'Why do you think that is?'

'Oh different reasons. Sometimes it's boredom, sometimes it's for fun. They get caught up in these stupid theoretical debates.'

'Interesting, what sort of debates?'

Carson chuckles.

'Well sometimes it's competitive like who can fit the most fruit in their mouth. Or sometimes they test new tech and try to out macho each other. Sheppard once threw Rodney from a balcony and shot him in the leg to test an Ancient shielding device. They can get caught up in the 'can we…' and don't consider the 'should we…' as perhaps they should. Makes a good story though.'

'In the field?'

'That's a bit different.'

'Is it?'

'Well…'

'You're not getting them in trouble.'

'I know. It's just…' There was a pause and Sheppard heard Carson sigh. 'I've seen them both take extreme risks for each other. I mean I understand why Sheppard does, but Rodney is very self-orientated and not really made for what he clearly did to save Sheppard. Rodney is an anxious man, quick see death in direct action.'

'Unless there's some other motivating factor we are not aware of.'

'Like what?'

'Well survival is a driving factor, but clearly he was going against that instinct. Perhaps it is simply that he didn't want his friend to die. It seems to me that would be enough.'

'True.'

'You are frowning, Doctor, do you not agree?'

'Yes, on the surface, as a team they all would do a lot for each other.'

'And under the surface.'

'I think there's not a lot Rodney wouldn't do if Sheppard suggested it.'

Sheppard tensed slightly, no longer amused by the subject matter.

'Interesting. You think he looks up to Sheppard.'

'Definitely, not that you'd ever hear him admit it.'

'Well, that sort of influence can be good. It inspires and motivates, and… you have that frown again, Doctor.'

'Yes.'

'Care to enlighten me?'

'Sheppard can be… oh I don't know. I can't seem to find the right word.'

'They work well together, don't they?'

'They bicker… a lot.'

'Well then, I would said if McKay stands up to him it's not all one way.'

Carson's voice lowers and Sheppard struggles to hear the next part.

'It's a façade. Rodney is a deeply sensitive man, prickly on the outside but that's because he gets hurt easily. Far too easily. The verbal sparring is a defence sometimes. His insecurity is a significant barrier to making friends.'

'But you are friends with him aren't you?'

'Yes, but it's different.'

'Why?'

'He knows I wouldn't hurt him.'

'And Sheppard does?'

'Yes, I think he has done.'

Sheppard felt his feelings start to surface, a pang of guilt struck through and his mind was immediately back in the moment when he'd lost his temper with McKay. He remembered McKay almost wilting in front of him. The wide blue eyes cast downward and away.

'Then perhaps McKay was trying to win approval?'

Carson snorted.

'Oh god no, whatever for? Their friendship's not that misguided.'

'Well, we won't know why until we can ask him, will we?'

'True enough.'

'Well, it's getting late and I will be back in the morning, Doctor. Good night.'

'Good night.'

Sheppard heard Heightmeyer's footsteps fade out and the door open and close. He also heard Carson nearby. Very carefully, Sheppard cracked open and eye and saw Carson staring down at Rodney, tablet in hand but not actually looking at it.

'I think you were just brave, Rodney, unquantifiably and unexpectedly, brave.'

He tapped the tablet and left it on a table nearby and went into his office, leaving Sheppard with his thoughts.