Myrddin's Shield
Chapter Four
By the time, Vala made her way back to the village, Cameron and Sam had returned and the five of them gathered together in the communal hall to exchange news on what had happened during the morning.
Daniel filled Cameron and Sam in on their meeting with Madrianna (leaving aside the part about Brin and Saurun accompanying them for now) and then what had transpired in the village square. Then it was Vala's turn so she told everyone what she had seen; only leaving out the part about nearly being spotted. No need to mention that. "They used the ring platform to get back to the ship so I guess that's how Maltus, only I think his name might be Korlash, will arrive."
Cameron look confused. "What makes you think his name's Korlash?"
"Well, I've been thinking about the men Daniel and I saw. They'd been branded on their cheeks and the symbol looked familiar. It made me remember something…When I was running a few 'errands' for the Lucian Alliance, I ran into this guy called Korlash. He was a horrible excuse for a human being, running a smuggling operation among other things…He liked to surround himself with pretty things, didn't matter whether it was objects or people." Vala shuddered again at the thought. "Anyway, he used to brand his…" she sought the right word, "…concubines to mark them as his property."
"Sounds like a nice guy," Cameron muttered.
"Oh yes, he's a real sweetheart. Anyway, he surrounded himself with hired muscle to do his dirty work for him. Some of the ones I met had been branded too."
"Okay so it might be the same guy running this operation." He looked round his team. "Even if we are successful in fixing the Shield, don't you think we need to try and discourage this Maltus guy, or whatever his name is, from coming back?"
Teal'c agreed. "Indeed. If the village suddenly disappears, he may become more determined to discover what has happened to it and seek to take the technology guarding it."
Vala nodded. "He loves procuring fancy toys to sell on to the highest bidder."
"And if he discovers the energy signature for the Shield, it might mean he'd work out there are other villages being protected too," Sam said. "They could all become vulnerable."
"So we need to do something," Cameron said.
"What are you suggesting?" Daniel asked. "We can't expect these people to go up against a Jaffa and whoever else Maltus brings with him let alone survive against the firepower of a ship in orbit! It would be suicide."
Sam reluctantly had to agree. "We're too far away from home for Odyssey or any other ship to get here in time to do something about Maltus and, if we are successful and get the Shield working, we can't keep a ship stationed here just in case Maltus comes back some time in the future. I'm not sure there is anything we can do, Cam."
Vala had been thinking furiously. Now she spoke deliberately, emphasising each word: "We need to find a way to get him to want to leave…" The others looked at her, puzzled.
"What's going to make a guy like that give up on free food, weapons and the rest?" Cameron asked.
Vala smiled knowingly. "Like all bullies, he's essentially a coward. If we could convince him that the village was a danger to him, he would run a mile."
"And how do you propose we do that?" Daniel asked.
"Well,…couldn't we make him think that there's some dreadful plague here. Something that's so contagious he won't think twice about leaving. We'd have to leave the Shield off, of course, to let him see the plague for himself." Vala looked round at her friends' faces. "What do you think? Too crazy an idea?"
A slow smile crept onto Cameron's face. "You know me, I like 'crazy'…I think this could work. What do you think, Sam?"
Sam nodded tentatively, thinking through the idea. "Maybe. If we could get the SGC to send through some make-up and get the villagers to do a little set dressing, maybe we could just make this look like a plague village."
Daniel looked the least persuaded as he said, "We'd need a few people to be acting as if they were ill and they might have to get real close to Korlash and his men. They'd have to be pretty convincing."
"No problem, darling. I can be very convincing in a part when I want to be," Vala said, grinning.
"You can't go anywhere near Maltus in case he is this Korlash guy and recognises you," Cameron pointed out. "I'm sure Sam and I could act the part and maybe get a few villagers to play dead in the village square."
Daniel continued to point out the flaws: "Cansalla would have to be prepared to stand and lie to Lord Maltus. She might find that difficult."
"Let's ask her and see," Cameron said. He turned to the raven-haired woman sitting next to Daniel. "Vala, it's a good idea. I think it could work and to be honest it's the only feasible plan we've got." Vala grinned at him, glad to have contributed something useful.
"What happens if Maltus doesn't fall for it?" Daniel asked.
"Then we'll have to let him leave with his 'tribute'. No point risking lives in a situation like this. Then we'll activate the Shield, which hopefully we'll have fixed, so he can't bother these folks in the future," Cameron said.
"And if he realises that it's all fake?" Sam asked.
"Then I guess we'll have to deal with him as best we can," Cameron said. He looked round the team for acceptance. "Well unless someone comes up with plan b that's what we're going to do then."
They all nodded, even Daniel. Cameron turned to the Jaffa: "Teal'c, when it's check-in time, would you mind going to inform Landry of our plan. Get him to send through some make-up and whatever else they can think of. I'm sure someone will come up with what we need to make this look convincing."
Teal'c nodded agreement and Cameron said, "You'd better also inform him that we'll be out of radio contact from dawn tomorrow while we undertake Merlin's challenges."
Now that they had planned as much as they could for now, Vala took Sam off with her to run an 'errand' and Daniel decided he had better fill Cameron in on what Madrianna had said about Brin and Saurun joining them on the quest.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Cameron exploded. "It's bad enough we've got time pressure on this mission now without having to take two kids along into unknown terrain where anything could happen to them…and to us while we're babysitting them. Madrianna can't be serious!"
"Look, she said she saw seven of us undertaking the challenges – that's the five of us plus the two of them - and she says Myrddin wants them to go. The bottom line is this is their village, their culture. They know the first part of the terrain and I think we've been sent here to help them not the other way around."
"You're buying into this vision thing?" Cameron asked.
"I don't know but there's something going on here," Daniel acknowledged, "and we've been manipulated before by one or more of the Ancients."
Cameron turned to the silent Jaffa beside him. "What do you think, Teal'c? Are these kids going to put us at risk?"
"I have watched Brin and some of the other youth practising with their staffs this morning. They are quick and agile. Brin is surprisingly strong for one so young. I do not believe he would be a hindrance."
The door at the entrance to the communal hall opened and Cansalla stepped in, worry written all over her face. "May I speak with you?"
"Please. Join us." Cameron stood up, embodying old-fashioned courtesy and waved her over to the fireside. He took his seat again as soon as she was settled on the bench on the other side of the table.
"Madrianna has told the village Elders that Brin and Saurun must undertake the Path to Adulthood tomorrow and that they must continue on with you to conquer the elements." Cansalla looked from face to face.
"Yes, Ma'am, so I've just been told," Cameron responded with a wry smile.
"I am not happy about this but my husband says it is a great honour. I fear for my boys, my own and my Bond son. Yet, I cannot oppose the will of Myrddin," she finished, her voice wretched with anxiety.
Cameron said, "I could talk to Madrianna…Tell her we think this is a bad idea."
Cansalla shook her head, "Thank you but it would do no good. She is adamant. I can only hope that her belief that they will come to no harm is right." She suddenly reached for Cameron's hand. "Will you promise to keep my boys safe?"
Cameron surprised even himself by covering her hand with his other one and saying, "I'll make sure no harm comes to them. You have my word."
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The twin moons were rising in the sky as Vala and Sam left Faylan's house and the two women made their way back to the communal hall. Sam had been a little surprised when Vala had asked her to accompany her to see Hana but she quickly realised that her father, Faylan, was a little too eager upon seeing Vala on his doorstep and that therefore her role was one of chaperone.
The two female members of SG-1 had managed to pass a pleasant hour and a half with Faylan and his daughter, who it turned out was delightfully unpretentious and very friendly once she got over her initial shyness. Sam had been impressed with how charming and kind Vala had been and that she had managed to make sure that they took their leave without hurting anyone's feelings.
As they walked back along the wintry paths winding through the village, Sam recalled her earlier resolution to spend some time with Vala once they got home and suggested a shopping trip when they got back to Earth. She was surprised when she got no response. Sam remembered Vala's quietness yesterday and the thought occurred again that actually she hadn't been her usual chatty self for quite a few days now.
"Have you got something on your mind, Vala?" she asked. "I know your dream's made you anxious but is there something else getting you down?"
Vala started from her thoughts and sighed. "I think Daniel's thinking of moving on. He mentioned a few ideas. One of them was going to work at Area 51."
Sam couldn't have been more surprised. "What? He hates that place! He's always disliked the emphasis on military applications for any research to be funded. Daniel's all about sharing knowledge for the greater good: he'd hate being surrounded by people keeping secrets!"
"Well, he seems to think if Dr Lee's team get the Asgard database off Odyssey, that's where it'll end up. He's completely obsessed with it. I'm afraid he's going to lose himself in it," Vala said.
Sam replied, "I agree with you. I think going somewhere where all he has to do is work on the Asgard database would be a huge mistake. He just gets so caught up in his work…A couple of years ago, he wanted to spend time at Atlantis. When we paid our flying visit there a few months ago, he was so excited! He was dying to go back. I wonder why he's given up that idea."
Vala grimaced. "Maybe he missed the chance to transfer there too many times!...Not all of them my fault, I have to say!"
They walked on in silence for a while and then Sam asked, "What else is eating at you, Vala?"
Vala sounded weary as she said, "Oh I don't know, just wondering if I've been wasting my time…I don't think Daniel has a clue how I feel about him even after all this time. I don't think he even dreamed of discussing his decision with me and certainly no clue I might be upset about it."
Sam and Vala had had too many discussions about Daniel on their regular Girls' Nights for Sam to beat about the bush now. "Have you actually tried to tell him how you feel?"
Vala looked at Sam with a hopeless expression. "I have tried to get close to him so I could maybe tell him… He used to talk to me, answer my questions about his past but he's been shutting me out since we got back from Celestis."
Sam frowned as she said quietly, "From what you've told me, Daniel has opened up to you a lot…I just wonder if he feels it's all been one-sided. I know it's not been easy for you to share any of the hurts in your past. I get that. I know you've been through some pretty horrendous things Vala and you don't want to open the door on it in case you can't control what comes out but I think you're going to have to try a bit harder to open up with Daniel."
Vala nodded. "I know, Sam…it's just so hard…but you're right, I should try harder and actually just this morning I asked him about Shifu and he was okay telling me about him…about Sha're."
"See. He wouldn't talk about Sha're to anyone he didn't really care about. Don't give up on Daniel just yet, Vala. He really cares about you…he just hasn't realised how much!" Sam said trying and partially succeeding in drawing a smile out of Vala.
Vala decided to tell Sam about her earlier conversation with Madrianna. "Madrianna said that Daniel and I should be together…that together we're stronger…Do you truly think we could ever be more than friends?" She didn't wait for an answer but continued: "You know how he drives me nuts with the way he has to analyse every little detail before he takes any action and I guess I drive him mad because I act first and ask questions later! Maybe that's not a good thing in a relationship."
"You may not believe it, Vala," Sam said, "but Jack O'Neill always used to be on at Daniel about rushing into things without looking first: he was always putting himself in danger because he got so caught up in everything…I guess the passing of time and seeing the world from an Ancient perspective for a while has changed him. You're just like he was a few years ago!"
Vala started talking, thinking out loud: "Sometimes I wonder if I am completely wasting my time with him, Sam. Daniel does seem totally oblivious to…well, to female charms…I mean he must like girls. He loved Sha're but…well, maybe he just doesn't fancy me."
Sam thought about saying, "In my opinion the only thing that explains the way you two argue incessantly is because he is so attracted to you it terrifies him" but instead she said, "Vala, we're friends, right? So can I be blunt? Daniel's not a guy who goes in for one night stands. He never has been. If he loves you he'll be totally loyal and it'll be forever…He's never come out and said exactly what he feels about you but I saw how crazy it made him when he thought you were lost…both times…and it's clear to all of us how much he cares about you."
Sam saw hope growing on Vala's face and went on: "It's just he's had to deal with so many losses in his life, I think he's scared of getting hurt again…that you might only want him for one night and then move onto someone new. My advice, for what it's worth, is: be honest with him. Let him know that you have serious feelings for him and see where it leads."
They had reached the hall and the warm lights and delicious smells of the evening meal invited them in. Sam looked at Vala and asked, "Ready to go in?"
"Yes. Thanks, Sam…and thanks for being a good friend. I know I can be a bit wonko sometimes."
Sam smiled back at her. "Well worth the effort though...and we girls have got to stick together, right?"
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Merlin's Hall was as large as the communal hall but more ornately decorated. A wooden dais stood at one end of the room which was reached by three wide steps and supported a carved pillar, which was embedded with three large stones of sapphire, emerald and amber. The room was full of people, watching with expectant faces as Madrianna conducted the service of Blessing.
The ceremony was drawing towards its end when Madrianna called SG-1 forward to stand alongside Saurun and Brin. Madrianna intoned, "Great Myrddin spread your protection over these brave souls who desire to conquer the elements and earn your reward. May they prove themselves worthy in their quest."
She stepped down from the dais towards them and was joined by a young girl carrying an ornate wooden box. Madrianna opened it to reveal bronze coloured discs lying on a dark green velvet interior. She drew one disc out, loosening the attached woven chain and ran her fingers over it.
"Vala, child of Air, Myrddin bestows this gift upon you." Vala stepped forward and Madrianna placed the chain around her neck and then reached for the second disc.
"Saurun, child of Water, Myrddin bestows this gift upon you." Saurun stepped forward, nervousness and eagerness doing battle on his face.
"Samantha, child of Earth, Myrddin bestows this gift upon you…Brin, child of Fire, Myrddin bestows this gift upon you."
Madrianna called Mitchell and Teal'c forward. "May these warriors protect and sustain their companions on their quest to find your Shield, Mighty Myrddin. Grant them strength and wisdom as they undertake your challenges."
Madrianna pulled out one more disc from the box: it was slightly larger than the other four and made of some translucent silver, green and blue material that the members of SG-1 didn't recognise.
Madrianna held the disc up, saying, "The essence of the stars is held within this symbol." The room was filled with an awed hush as Madrianna continued: "Only Myrddin and his kind may walk among the stars but, for a brief time, this man, Daniel, walked with him: he is a child of Starlight. Daniel, Myrddin bestows this gift upon you: use it well."
When the ceremony was complete, the villagers started to leave, smiling encouragement at the group of seven as they went out. Some of them patted Brin and Saurun as they passed and all of them looked at Daniel with undisguised awe on their faces. Daniel would have found it embarrassing if he had noticed the looks on their faces but he was preoccupied. During the ceremony, he had become convinced that someone was watching the proceedings and waiting to speak to him. He considered what he wanted to say to the Ancient posing as Myrddin.
When the villagers had processed past them, Brin, Saurun and the other members of SG-1 headed out of the Hall. At last, only Daniel and Madrianna were left. She looked knowingly in his direction and then walked past him saying, "Yes, you may wait, Daniel. Myrddin will come."
Daniel stood expectantly in the middle of the Hall, luxuriating in the silence and allowing his eyes to follow the patterned symbols carved into the wooden architrave surrounding the windows and door. His thoughts began to wander and he found himself thinking of Merlin first, then Ganos Lal and then…
"Hello, Daniel. It is good to see you once again."
Daniel turned to find the speaker standing behind him, glowing wisps of light gradually coalescing into the human form of a mature man with golden hair. He wore a long-sleeved tunic and trousers that were light grey in colour. His face was attractive with high cheekbones and a Greek nose and his skin looked golden. Daniel regarded him for a moment, trying to see if he could recall any memory of this particular being but no image was forthcoming. "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"
The being smiled sadly at him. "You don't remember your time among us but we remember you, Daniel Jackson. You created much…discussion…amongst us."
Daniel smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry I don't remember much of anything from that time...Except maybe that I was a source of…discussion." He echoed the Ancient's word. "So what is your name? What should I call you?"
"I am known by many names…in ancient times on Earth, I was known as Solon. You may call me that if you wish."
Daniel struggled to recall any mention of the name stored somewhere in the depths of his brain from his long years of research into all things archaic. "Solon…You were the law-giver of Atlantis, your teachings were used as a foundation of their democracy."
Solon nodded. "Yes. I helped to forge the civilisation at Atlantis. Those were wonderful times. We cultivated the noblest and the best society. One that would have huge impact on your ancestors."
"It did and we're grateful," Daniel acknowledged. "Can I ask why you appear here as Myrddin? Why not be yourself?"
"You know that our brother Myrddin is no more but his people here still need him and his guidance…so in this place I come as Myrddin because that is what his people need me to be." Solon drew closer to Daniel. "You want to ask me many things, I think."
"Yes." Daniel debated which question to ask first. "Did you give Vala the dream about this place?"
"Dreams can teach much if the dreamer is willing to learn," Solon replied. "It was not I who sought out your friend to dream but my brethren may have wanted the path ahead of you to be illuminated…My knowledge extended only to knowing that you would come and that you would aid these people."
"So if you know our character, our willingness to do what you ask of us…then you know that we have proved ourselves more than once as being worthy of the Ancients' trust."
"Yes, that is true," Solon acknowledged.
Daniel was pleasantly surprised by Solon's answer and decided he might as well ask the question: "Well then. Is it necessary for us to undertake the challenges? Couldn't you just take us to the place where the Shield's power core is and show us how to fix it so that we can give Brin and Saurun that knowledge so that their village will be safe in the future?"
Solon frowned. "It is not my place to interfere with what Myrddin devised for these people's protection and advancement."
Daniel tried another tack. "Myrddin chose to give these people his protection and he wouldn't have wanted these people to be defenceless against people like Maltus, would he?" Daniel looked at Solon to see if he had made any impression on him, but the Ancient's eyes looked serenely back at Daniel: unperturbed in a way that was quite frankly more than a little annoying.
Daniel tried again. "Well, don't you think if he cared about keeping them safe, that he would want them to know how to restore the Shield should it fail again in the future? They shouldn't have to wait for someone like us to come along to fix it."
Solon frowned and shook his head, genuinely surprised at what Daniel was asking. "I cannot allow you to avoid the challenge Myrddin deemed necessary to prove your worth."
"You still don't think we're worthy after all we've done for you!" Daniel couldn't keep the frustration and anger out of his voice.
Solon reached out a hand in a placating gesture and said, "Please, Daniel…Do not misunderstand me. You do not have to prove your worth…but there are some undertaking this challenge who have much to prove to themselves. I cannot deny them the chance to face their fears and to learn which way their onward journey should go."
Solon regarded Daniel thoughtfully. "You too have many burdens to lay down, my friend. You have done well on the path you have travelled these last few years but the time for you to choose a new path is coming." Solon's body started to lose some of its edges, light leaking out from his form as his true nature began to reveal itself. "I must leave now but I will see you again."
"Wait! I have one more question I'd like to ask you."
Solon's body pulsed but did not entirely melt away. His face, still visible in the centre of his glowing form, smiled as he said, "I remember you were always full of questions, Daniel. What is it you wish to know?"
"Ganos Lal…is she…I mean did she defeat Adria…?"
Solon looked pensive as he said, "That battle still rages…but it is nearing its conclusion." Then he began to shimmer his way towards the back of the Hall.
Daniel followed him. "Will the other Ancients still not help her…even after everything that has happened?"
Solon paused before the wall at the back of the building and turned to Daniel. "Change takes time. The voices of your kindred grow stronger every day…persuading the Others, reasoning with them…They have not long been on their journeys but soon…yes, soon, they will be strong enough to aid Ganos Lal and maybe even continue the change you have brought about in many of my Brethren and germinated within the Others."
"My kindred?...I don't understand," Daniel said.
"All those you have touched with your kindness, your courage, your passion and your truth, Daniel. All those you have loved." Solon nodded once more and disappeared through the wall.
Daniel stared after him then whispered to himself, "Skaara? Kasuf?" He felt rather than heard the answer and when he walked outside, his eyes were shining with tears.
Madrianna had waited for him, Saurun hovering by her side to guide her back home. She said quietly, "You have your answers, my young friend. Go and prepare in peace for the challenges you face tomorrow."
Daniel cleared his throat. "Yes…Thank you, Madrianna. Myrddin's given me a lot to think about."
Daniel walked slowly across the village to the communal hall to re-join his team, his friends, and his chosen family. As he entered the room, the rest of SG-1 looked up from their drinks and watched him come up to the table where they were seated. Vala handed him a coffee and he sat down beside her.
"Hey, Daniel? How did it go?" Vala saw that his eyes were shiny with some emotion she couldn't quite read. "Are you feeling okay?"
Daniel wanted to say, "I feel overwhelmed. Humbled by knowing that I have been able to make a difference" but the words wouldn't leave his mouth.
Unexpectedly, Teal'c laid a hand on his shoulder and stated, "You have spoken to one of the Ancients, Daniel Jackson." Daniel nodded an affirmative and took a sip from his rapidly cooling coffee.
Cameron said, "Well, that's great! Which one was it? Anyone we know?"
Daniel shook off the feeling of awe and tried to focus his thoughts. He looked around to make sure there were no villagers within earshot and said, "His name is Solon and he's another Lantean."
"So did he give you any tips?" Cameron asked. "Or better still, any chance he'll waive this challenge thing?"
Daniel sighed. "No, he said he couldn't interfere with Myrddin's challenges because some of the group have things to prove to themselves."
"Oh well, it was worth a shot!" Cameron said. "Guess he means Saurun and Brin have to prove themselves...that's what rites of passage are all about, right?"
Cameron looked round his team and said, "Well. Whatever form these challenges take, we'll be ready as always…Piece of cake, right?"
Sam echoed unconvincingly: "Oh yeah, piece of cake."
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It was just after dawn when the group left the village. There was no fanfare: just a few well-wishers quietly watching as they set off. Cansalla, Gann and Preona hugged Brin and Saurun briefly then Cansalla turned towards SG-1 and her eyes sought out Cameron's face. She received a nod from him confirming his promise to keep them safe. Then she and the rest of her family waved and walked quickly away as her son and his friend joined their fellow companions.
The group of seven took the walk through the forest and up into the mountains at a steady pace and found the going easy enough to start with. The thaw was coming: slow dripping sounds among the trees heralding the warmth of spring returning to the frozen land.
Cameron took point; the boys were next, followed by Daniel, Sam and Vala with Teal'c bringing up the rear. After a few minutes, Vala fell into step beside Saurun and Brin giving them a wide smile in response to their excited grins. "This is a big day for you. You must both be very excited."
They nodded and Saurun said, "It is a big day for us and at last I'll be recognised by the Village Elders as Madrianna's apprentice. Maybe they'll treat me with a bit more respect."
"I doubt it," Brin laughed and slapped his friend's arm. "Thanks for waiting for me anyway."
Vala looked inquiringly at the pair of them and Brin replied, "Saurun should have gone through the rite last year but we wanted to do it together."
Saurun's skin colour reddened as he shrugged and said, "It's what Bond Brothers do."
"What's that mean: bond brother?"
It was Brin who answered, "We've been friends since we were little. Always playing together…"
"Getting into mischief together!" Saurun interjected. "Usually your fault, I might add."
Brin continued as if he hadn't spoken, "and then Saurun's parents died and he came to live with us and became my Bond Brother."
Vala said, "I'm sorry about your parents, Saurun, but it's nice you've got a second family."
Saurun nodded, "Yes, Cansalla has been like a mother to me…I'm very lucky in some ways."
As the ground gradually rose higher, the trees thinned, the temperature went down and the ground was covered with a thicker layer of snow. Daniel pulled his hood up and tried to bury himself in his jacket to keep warm. Next to him, Sam deliberately slowed her pace and he matched her without thinking until a slight gap had opened up between them and the rest of the team.
"Daniel, can I ask you something?"
Daniel glanced at her in surprise and said, "Of course. What's on your mind, Sam?"
"I've heard you're thinking of going to work on the Asgard database when Dr Lee and the others work out how to get it off Odyssey and up and running Earth-side."
"I'm thinking about it. I guess Vala said something?"
Sam ignored the question and went on with what she wanted to say, "I know it's your life, Daniel, but I think it would be a big mistake." He went to interrupt but she held up her hand, "Hear me out, okay."
She paused, knowing that what she was going to say might not be easy for Daniel to hear then continued: "Daniel, you have a tendency to immerse yourself in your work. You know it's true." He nodded and shrugged as Sam continued: "I just think if you lock yourself away with the Asgard database, we won't see you. I doubt you'll even remember to eat." She patted his arm to soften her words.
They had both forgotten Teal'c was behind them until he said, "I, too, fear for you, Daniel Jackson. You once told me that you at last felt you belonged and that you were doing something important. Don't cut yourself off from your friends."
Daniel smiled ruefully. "I'm not guys, really I'm not, but I can't stay at the SGC forever. Things change. People move on." His smile faded as he added, "To be totally honest, I'm not sure that I can do 'this' much longer. Being on the frontline, I mean. The never knowing if we're all going to come back in one piece is starting to get to me."
"Daniel, I read your report about what happened to you on Celestis…but was there more to that experience than you mentioned? You've seemed a little off key ever since we came back from the Ori galaxy," Sam said. "You and I always used to talk through the fall-out from missions but we've sort of gotten out of the habit. Is there something on your mind, you want to talk about with us?"
Daniel considered how best to express in words what he had felt in that cell: the hopelessness, the loneliness and the desire to have it all just go away. "When I was lying in that cell, waiting for the Doci to come back and either break me or finish me, all I could think about was how I'd failed to keep you all safe. I thought Teal'c was dead. I could hear Tomin…well, I could hear he was alive although like me he was probably wishing he wasn't…and I didn't know whether Vala was alive or dead."
A shadow crossed his face as he'd remembered the desperation he had felt not knowing what had become of Vala. "…I figured if you and Cameron had survived your little replicator problem, it wouldn't be long before some Ori ship or other blasted you into pieces…all because I'd failed to get to the Ark in time…"
"You did not fail any of us," Teal'c said softly. "You never do and you never will. I fear you carry too many burdens for one man to manage, Daniel Jackson. You need to let others take some of the weight."
"Maybe. I know I do tend to do that…but watching people I care about going into dangerous situations is getting harder and harder. I'm not sure I can keep doing it."
Sam nodded. "I think we both understand that, Daniel," she said, looking at Teal'c for confirmation, "But you can't run away from the people you care about the most just because you hate seeing them in danger. Maybe you're right. Maybe you do need to think about doing something other than being in SG-1 but don't go running away and leaving the important people in your life behind. Think about all your options."
"I will, Sam. I promise that I won't go running off but I have thought several times before about getting back to more academic pursuits and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I know you must think about getting back to R&D, Sam. Teal'c, you must think about your family, spending time with Rya'c and your grandchildren?"
Teal'c nodded and Sam replied, "Yes, of course I think about it and that may be the right move for me, but as I said, you really need to think about wider options than just the Asgard database…What about Atlantis, weren't you thinking about spending a couple of years there, wrestling with all that incredible Ancient technology that they're still struggling to understand. You're the foremost expert on the language, after all."
"I don't see how going to Atlantis would be that much better. What's the difference between translating Ancient databases and translating the Asgard database? I thought you were worried about not seeing me and now you're trying to send me to a different galaxy!"
"But you'd be with other people there, be part of a team. You wouldn't be so isolated. I wouldn't worry so much!" Sam said.
"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.
Sam could see some of their words sinking in and deliberated over whether to risk breaking Vala's confidence or not. It was so obvious that Daniel cared as much for Vala as she did for him so she risked saying, "And there'd be a place for someone like Vala there."
Daniel came to a dead stop on the path and blinked at her. Sam hadn't heard him stutter in a long time but he did it now. "Uh I don't think, I mean, I uh I don't know if Vala…I mean why would she want to go to Atlantis?"
Teal'c hoped the universe would forgive his interference as he spoke: "I believe Vala Mal Doran would follow you to any galaxy, Daniel Jackson…as long as she was sure of your true feelings for her."
Daniel looked astounded both at what Teal'c was saying and that he was the one saying it. "Where's all this coming from, Teal'c? Sam?"
Sam had been surprised by Teal'c's statement but decided the time for gentle hints was over. "Daniel! What do you think the main topic of conversation on Girls' Night has been for the last year? You and whether you could ever have any feelings for her."
Daniel was completely floored. "Oh." He frowned at Sam. "You know you can't always believe what Vala says…and anyway don't you think we'd be a disaster together. I mean we're so different."
"I don't think that you're as different as you believe, Daniel. You're scared of getting involved with someone again…but she's scared too…and Vala's really changed this last year. I would trust her on any level now."
Teal'c nodded his agreement with Sam. "Indeed. Vala Mal Doran is a changed person."
"Look, it's obvious to all of us you two have some special connection." Sam pressed home her point. "You care a lot for her, we can all see that. What's stopping you from taking the next step?"
Daniel considered the question and said slowly, "I guess I can't believe that she would ever be happy with just me…I mean, she's been with a lot of people. If she got bored with me…well, I don't think I could get over the pain of losing someone I loved again."
Sam touched his arm. "That was the old Vala, Daniel. The Vala who'd never been given a chance by anyone before you decided to place your trust in her. She's been totally loyal to you since she told me she liked you…I know she's turned down more than a few offers." She saw Daniel blink at this. "And I know she's asked Tomin to dissolve their marriage."
Daniel blinked again at this piece of information: he had wondered, hoped even, but he not been able to bring himself to ask Vala about it.
"She really cares about you and she wants to be with you. Talk to her, Daniel. Really talk…and really listen."
Teal'c nodded and said, "Indeed."
Daniel struggled with a myriad of conflicting emotions then responded with: "I'll think about what you've both said," and to Teal'c's raised eyebrow, he said, "and I will talk to Vala."
Suddenly the three of them realised that they were some way behind the others and hurried to catch up. Cameron had halted the party at the edge of the treeline and was looking back anxiously at them. "Everything okay?"
The three of them nodded and Sam said, "Sorry, just got talking and weren't paying attention."
Cameron raised an eyebrow at this completely-out-of-character statement but decided on seeing the "leave it, please" look on Sam's face to wait until later to ask her what had been so engrossing. "Well, the going's a little tougher from here so we're all going to have to pay attention," he said and then led the way forward again.
As the trees disappeared and the ground became strewn with the debris from an age-old eruption, the seven companions had to pick their way carefully through rocks and over boulders. By the time they arrived at the entrance, over an hour later, they were all warm and ready for the short break Cameron suggested they take for a drink and food before entering the caves.
While they stood there, appreciating the view of the wooded valley below from the higher ground, Cameron spoke: "Before we start this thing, can I just say something? Firstly, I've got great faith in all of you and if we watch each other's backs, we'll get through fine and dandy. Secondly, if we come across any alien device, gizmo or thingy that seems to hold the key to the universe and everything, no-one and I mean no-one is to look into it! Do I make myself clear?!"
There were amused nods from all the team except Daniel who wriggled uncomfortably and Brin and Saurun who looked utterly confused. Sam said, "Don't worry, you two. I'll explain all about it later."
Cameron looked at each member of his team and the two boys. "Right. Let's get to it then," he said and led the way towards the yawning mouth of Quietus Mons. He tried very hard to resist the image that sprang unbidden to his mind of a huge unfriendly giant opening its mouth to swallow them whole.