Shoutout to johannvanguard for getting the last cipher! Anyways, I know I promised a chapter a day with my latest Digimon chapter, but life got in the way. My headset died on Thanksgiving, and then my mouse failed on me the next day, and I was finally able to finish this chapter! I'm so not hitting my 50k this month for NaNoWriMo. Anyways, enjoy!
Life is heating up here, with all the supernatural events, defeating monsters and spirits. And I love it! I can't wait to see everything else play out the way I know it will! I'm so excited!
"I like to get my Christmas shopping done early." Said Tyler Cutebiker. He turned to Stan. "Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?" He walked over as Stan began scratching his head.
"Uh, how about these crystals?" He held out the basket. Tyler laughed.
"Looks like broken glass!"
"What are you, a cop?" Tyler turned around.
"Oh! What is that new thing?!" He ran off, and Dipper and Mabel walked in.
"Grunkle Stan" started Dipper.
"Can we go to the diner?" Finished Mabel. "We're hungry!" She wiggles her belly as she said that.
"Hungry!" Mimicked Dipper. They both did it, then hit their stomachs together.
"Sure, yeah. As soon as this yahoo makes up his mind." Stan pointed at Tyler.
"Do you have this in another animal?" Tyler pointed to an aptly named Fur Trout.
"I'm fine locking him inside if you are." Both twins nodded. The two noticed Cassie next to Stan.
"You three planning on going to the diner?" Stan jumped back.
"Gah!" He straightened himself out and coughed. "What do you think you're doing? Trying to give me a heart attack?!"
"Not intentionally." Stan shook his head.
"I swear you're going to kill me one of these days." He muttered. "You planning on coming with?"
"If you'll have me."
"Come along kids." Stan led the way, Dipper, Mabel and Cassie following behind.
"Hey! Where are you guys going?" Asked Tyler. He turned his head. "Oh! Look at that!" He ran off again as Stan closed the door and slid a piece of wood through the handle to lock it. The three Pines ran to the car while Cassie walked. Inside, Tyler was looking at two different shirts.
"Puma shirt, Leopard Shirt, Puma Shirt, Leopard Shirt, Puma Shirt?" He stopped for a moment. "Leopard Shirt!" The four got into the car and drove off.
Strange things taking place
Nowhere to hide, nowhere is safe.
Weirdness is in every case.
But our smarts combined
will solve every puzzle faced.
That is a guarantee!
A woodpecker was hitting the wall above a customer, and someone shooed it away. "Shoo!" She hit the guy's head, but he did nothing. A beaver began chewing on a piece of wood and the lady walked over and hit it with a broom. It ran off and she gave chase. The Pines and Mabel entered.
"Coffee! Coffee!" Breathed McGucket. The group walked past Manly Dan and Wendy, then Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland.
"Go go go go!" Said Durland. Blubs began shoveling pancakes into his mouth and Durland measured his speed with a speedometer. It began glitching and Durland began hollering. The lady continued chasing the beaver as she ran past the group, who were all looking at menus. Stan watched, then looked up as their waitress came up. Mabel put a spoon on her nose.
"Lazy Susan, there's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?" He waggled his eyebrows.
"I got hit by a bus!" Said Susan. Stan began laughing and banging the table.
"Hilarious!"
"Thank you!" Susan began laughing.
"You do split plates, right?" Asked Stan.
"Maybe, wink." Susan lifted her eyelid to do the wink.
"Great! Well, I'll split a ¼ of a number 7, plus a free salad dressing for the lady" he pointed at Mabel, "plus a small plate of ketchup for the boy!" Susan walked off and Mabel tugged his shirt.
"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes."
"With the fancy flour they use these days?" Asked Stan. "Ha! What am I? Made of money?" As he waved his arms for emphasis, a bill stuck out of his sleeve. "Tap tap." It slid back in.
"Aw." Said Mabel. Dipper looked to the side to see a game and a sign.
Win Game Free Pancakes! Proclaimed the sign. The game showed a sign that specified it was a manliness test. Dipper got an idea.
"Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester."
"Manliness tester?" Asked Stan.
"Beating?" Asked Mabel. The two began laughing loudly at the notion.
"He says, he says" Stan couldn't finish that sentence.
"What? What's so funny?" Aske Dipper.
"Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly Manly Mannington." Mabel laughed again.
"Hey! I am too Manly, Manny or whatever it was you said."
"Look, face the music kid." Said Stan. "You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes and let's not forget last" Stan paused for a moment, "Tuesday's incident."
"Disco girl! Comin' through!" Sang Dipper in the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel, using the comb as a mic. "That girl is you!" Stan came in. "Don't come in! Don't come in!"
"You were listening to girly pop sensation Baba?" Asked Mabel.
"No, I wasn't, that's not important!" Said Dipper. "Look, come on guys, I'm plenty masculine! You see this chest hair?" He lowered his shirt to reveal a blindingly bright, smooth chest. Both Mabel and Stan covered their eyes.
"My eyes!" Said Stan. Dipper looked down.
"Oh man." He covered back up. Both Stan and Mabel laughed again. "Fine, family of little faith. Get ready to eat your words." Both Stan and Mabel shut up quickly. "And a plate of delicious pancakes." Dipper nudged Cassie, who didn't budge.
"No offense Dipper, but I have a better shot of beating that game than you."
"I'll show you!" Cassie sighed a got up, allowing Dipper to get out.
"Good luck." She sat back down and went back to her menu. Dipper walked over to the manliness game, and everybody turned to him. He stepped up to the game and cracked his knuckles.
"All right Dipper, time to manhandle this man, handle." He rubbed his hands together, and looked up. "And a one," he reached for the handle, "and a two."
"Quit stallin'!" Called Stan. Dipper grabbed the handle and pulled. The Wimp light came on, then more lights began to turn on. He gripped harder, then opened his eyes. The lights turned off, leaving him on the lowest level, Wimp. A paper spit out the lower slot.
"You are a cutie patootie!" Showed the paper.
"Oh what?! This thing must be broken! It's totally broken guys!" He turned to face everybody in the diner. "It's like a million years old, it probably ran out of steam power or" Manly Dan walked into Dipper, shoving him out of the way by just being there, and turned towards the game. He cracked his knuckles. "It's rickety man, you probably shouldn't" Manly Dan pressed his pinkie into the handle, and the figure at the top exploded. The head landed on the plate, scattering the pancakes throughout the diner. Manly Dan cheered.
"Pancakes for everyone!" The diner cheered, except Dipper and Cassie. A pancake landed on Dipper's head, and he lifted it. Both Mabel and Stan laughed at him while Cassie continued looking at her menu.
"I need to get some testosterone fast." Muttered Dipper. He ran towards the exit, tripping over the beaver as it came out of the floor. "I'm fine!" He ran out the door. "Everything's fine!" Stan turned back to the table.
"Yeash! How am I related to that?"
"Come on Grunkle Stan! I'm sure deep down you have a soft side too!"
"Ha! Nothing in here but a cold, dark, empty soul." Susan came back with Stan's order. She set it down, making him jump.
"Food!"
"Thanks there sugar pot! Uh, I mean, honey wasp, kin baby! Baby cow" he just continued getting worse.
"Haha! Silly, silly man." She looked at Cassie. "Can I get anything for you?"
"I've decided I'm not hungry." Cassie stood up and exited, heading after Dipper.
"Okay!" Susan walked away.
"What's up with her?" Asked Stan.
"What was that about?" Mabel countered.
"Nothing! I, uh, don't want to talk about it! Talk about what?" He began sweating. "Why is this table wet?"
"Wait just a second." Stan got worried. "I think I have an idea happening here!" Mabel rubbed her forehead. "You"
"No."
"And her"
"Stop it!" Mabel gasped.
"Oh boy."
"You have a thing for Lazy Susan!" Finished Mabel. "You do have a soft side!" Stan shushed her by putting his finger to her mouth.
"Keep it down, will ya?! All right, I admit it, okay? It would be nice of she liked me, but, I've been out of the game for so long I wouldn't know how to start. I mean, look at her. She's so classy."
"Spin ya dumb pies, spin!" Lazy Susan banged the top of the case.
"Grunkle Stan," Mabel made him look at her, "you are a cranky, gross, weird old man. But we will get Lazy Susan to like you, because nothing is stronger than the power of"
"Love?" Asked Stan.
"Mabel." Finished Mabel. "To victory!" She drank her salad dressing.
Dipper walked around town, thinking. "Not manly enough, stupid diner, stupid lumberjack." A hydrant opened, spraying him with water.
"Another hydrant destroyed." Said Blubs. "It's a gosh dang mystery."
"Want to take off our uniforms and run around in circles?" Asked Durland. Blubs was already out of his uniform.
"Quit reading my mind." Durland did the same and the two began running. Dipper continued getting splashed and backed away, running into someone.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for a the mailman." Said the lady. Dipper looked at her.
"Oh, what, are you saying I'm not a mailman? Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not male? I'm not man? Is that what you're getting at?"
"Are you crying?" Asked the lady. Dipper was struggling, then dashed into the nearby alley. He ran into the woods, and Cassie went up to the woman. "Did you just see that? Is he all right?"
"He's just having an identity crisis." Explained Cassie. "I'm trying to keep up with him to help him. See ya!" Cassie ran after Dipper.
"Two!" Said Dipper. "Three!" His hat was on a nearby stump, and he was bench pressing a stick. "Four!" His arms dropped, leaving the stick on him. He tossed it away, and sat up. He look into his shirt, seeing the same smooth surface. "No chest hair yet." He laid back down and cassie walked up. "Is it Physical? Is it mental? What's the secret?" He pulled out a packet of Real Man Jerky and looked at it. "You said it brother."
"Darn, I missed your attempts at bench presses." Dipper turned to Cassie.
"Oh, it's you. Come to gloat about you being right?" Dipper put down the packet.
"You are thinking way too deeply into it." Said Cassie.
"I need help." The ground began rumbling, and a very loud sound came from deeper in the woods. Dipper and Cassie ducked as the wildlife went past them.
"For the love of all that's holy, run!" Yelled Manly Dan as he ran past. Dipper grabbed his hat from the stump, and Cassie shoved him out of the way of a falling tree. They both rolled to the side, hiding behind a log. Something stomped up, and Dipper screamed like a little girl.
"Wait. Sorry." He tried to scream like a man, but began coughing.
"Is that really the best you can do?" Asked Cassie. They looked up at the mountainous being in front of them again, hiding behind the log. The being seemed to roar, but stretched and finished a yawn. He reached into a bush, pulled out a deer, and began scratching his back with its antlers. The deer got tossed away, and quickly ran off. The being then turned to the log, and flung it away. Dipper backed away as quickly as possible while sitting.
"Please don't eat me! I haven't showered, in like a week! And I'm like, all elbows!" He pointed at his elbow to emphasise. "Elbows and gristle!" The being took a step forward.
"You!" It pointed at Dipper as Cassie backed away slowly. Dipper gave a small scream. "Gonna finish that?" Dipper opened his eyes, looked at his jerky, then tossed it on the ground.
"No." The being began to eat it. "Can't believe it. Part animal, part human. Are you some kind of minotaur?"
"I'm a Manotaur!" Explained the being. "Half man" He slammed his fist into the ground, making both Dipper and Cassie jump, "and half, uh, Taur!" He slammed the ground again.
"So, did I, like, summon you, or"
"The smell of jerky summoned me! Jerky!" The Manotaur punched a tree, snapping it in half like a twig. He then grabbed a boulder, brought it to his head, and smashed it into pebbles with his head. He yelled again, and laughed. He began sniffing around, then began sniffing Dipper. "I smell" he stood up straight, "emotional issues." The wind began blowing his hair.
"I've got problems, Manotaur." Said Dipper, putting his hat back on. "Man related problems." The Manotaur sat down, making Dipper and Cassie jump again. He patted his leg. "Well, my own uncle called me a wimp,"
"Uh huh, uh huh."
"I kinda flunked this manliness video game thing."
"Mh hm."
"Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers?"
"Hm, very well!" The Manotaur stood up. "Climb atop my back hair, child!"
"Uh, okay." Replied Dipper, nervously. Cassie shook her head.
"I'll catch up with you later. Good luck!" She walked away.
"Whenever she says that, I get scared." Muttered Dipper. He climbed on and the Manotaur began to run. He jumped through a tree and down a small cliff, causing Dipper you scream and yell. The Manotaur began laughing as he ran, and Dipper's face rammed into several miscellaneous tree related objects, including a bird's nest that was still occupied.
"Dude! Watch out!" The Manotaur didn't slow down, and jumped over the gorge. Dipper screamed and covered his eyes as the Manotaur slammed into a stone wall, breaking through and landing inside a cave. Dipper opened his eyes. "Whoa." He saw several more Manotaurs in the cave, all doing different things. He jumped down. "This place is amazing." The Manotaur he was riding stood.
"The gnomes live in the trees, the merpeople live in the water," they began to walk, "'cause they're losers! But we Manotaurs crash in the man cave!" He hit a gong with a bone, making it ring. All the other Manotaurs turned and looked. "Beasts! I have brought you a hairless child!" He pushed Dipper forward.
"Sup."
"Huh?" Asked the other Manotaurs.
"This is, uh" the Manotaur stepped forward, "Pubator, Testostoror, Putitor, and I'm Chutzpar! And you are?"
"My name's Dipper." Said Dipper. The other Manotaurs began voicing displeasure at his name.
"Weak!"
"The, uh, Destructor?" Added Dipper.
"Yeah, that's better."
"Improvement." The gong rang again.
"Dipper the Destructor wants us to teach him the secrets to our manliness!" Said Chutzpar.
"I need your help! Look at this guys!" Dipper pulled down his shirt, showing his bare chest. "Look at this!"
"I must confer with the high counsel." Said one Manotaur. All the Minotaurs huddled. "So, teach him our man secrets or what?"
"He's a human, I don't like him."
"I don't like your face!" The one who spoke before got punched by the one that spoke. The others joined the fight.
"I like these guys." Said Dipper, watching the fighting. A tooth flew by him.
Stan shuffled a stack of cards, waiting. Mabel walked in. "Okay Grunkle Stan! Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! First, a before picture." Mabel took a picture of Stan, surprising him. He dropped the cards. Mabel grabbed the image, and looked at it. "I never miss a scrapbookertunity." She grabbed her scrapbook and opened it. "Deedly dum, memories!" The turned the page, and put the image in. "Let's start with some roleplaying." She gestured to Soos and Wendy. "Soos will play Lazy Susan."
"I'm soft, like a woman." Said Soos.
"Grunkle Stan, show me how you approach a woman." Stan began walking. "Remember, this is a safe, non-judgemental environment. I'll just be on the side, judging you based on a scale of 1 to 10." Stan walked up to Soos. He spat to the side and held out his hand.
"Can I borrow some money?" Mabel blew a whistle.
"This is gonna be harder than I thought."
"After a lot of punching, we have decided to deny your request to learn our manly secrets."
"Denied!" Said another Manotaur, then hit himself in the face.
"Denied?" Asked Dipper. He thought for a moment. "Ok, fine. That's okay with me. Obviously you guys think it would be too hard to train me. Maybe, you're not man enough to try." He put emphasis on the word man. Several of the Manotaurs gasped.
"Not man enough?!" Asked one.
"Destructor!" Warned Chutzpar.
"Not man enough?!" Asked the same Manotaur.
"He didn't mean it!" Said Chutzpar.
"I have three Y chromosomes, six adams apples, pecks on my abs and fists for nipples!" Dipper smiled.
"Seems to me you're too scared to teach me how to be a man." He put his hand to his ear. "Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like Bock-bock. Bock. Oh, that's weird, bocock, bocaw! Is that? Bawcowk! That sounds like, Bacaw! Yeah, a bunch of chickens!" The Manotaurs unanimously voiced their annoyance. They huddled again.
"I feel all weird!"
"He's using some sort of brain magic." They disbanded.
"After a second round of deliberation, we have decided to help you become a man!"
"Man! Man! Man! Man!" Chanted the other Manotaurs.
"Great! Thanks guys, whatever it is, I will not let you down!" Said Dipper. All the Manotaurs headed outside, and Chutzpar began the first lesson.
"Being a man is about conquering your fears."
"For your first man test, you must plunge your fist into the pain hole!" The Manotaur pointed to a sign next to a hole.
"The wha?" Asked Dipper. One of the Manotaurs went up to it and stuck his arm in.
"Pain hole, smain hole wah!" He began screaming in pain, swiftly pulled his arm out and ran away. Dipper walked up to it, and knelt down.
"Are you sure this is really necessary?"
"You wanna be a man, don't you?" Asked Chutzpar.
"Man! Man! Man! Man!" Dipper looked into the hole, and reached in. He yelled in pain.
"Alright, let's try to get that inner beauty on the outside." Said Mabel. "Smile harder." Stan attempted to smile, but got more of a pained grin. "Harder!" His face widened. "Perfect. Soos!"
"Sup hambone?"
"What do you think?" Soos looked at Stan, yelled and ran away, his sandwich sticking to the ceiling. He ran out the door and into the woods. Mabel sighed. "This is going to take some really great training music." She lifted a cd, put it into a stereo, and turned it on. The music began to play, and Cassie quietly came in and went to her room, attempting to avoid Stan and Mabel.
Dipper attempted to pull a large wagon filled with the Manotaurs and the horse that was supposed to pull it, attempting to get stronger. It didn't budge.
Mabel grabbed a few cucumbers from Wendy and put them on Stan's eyes. He grabbed them and ate them before Mabel turned back around. Soon after that was done, she took Stan to the bathroom and attempted to shave his chest hair, which grew right back after she lifted the razer.
Chutzpar sprayed glue on Dipper, ripped a chunk of his beard out and stuck it on.
Stan tried to walk while balancing four books on his head with Wendy and Mabel cheering him on.
Dipper walked across crocodiles as the Manotaurs cheered him on.
Stan attempted to scratch his back with cooking gloves on as Mabel held a sign that said Stop Scratching. Stan looked at her and she flipped the sign to make it read Eye Contact.
The Manotaurs held Dipper in place as they forced his eyes open, looking at two images. Chutzpar brought Dipper to the busted hydrant to drink water. Dipper attempted to drink, only to get sprayed away.
Mabel wrapped up Stan's gut, attempting to make it seem smaller.
Dipper jumped off a cliff.
Mabel again attempted to shave Stan's chest hair, and as she rubbed the razor back and forth the hair just kept growing back, and soon filled the bathroom. She made him stand straight.
aba
Dipper and the Manotaurs relaxed, letting their stomachs flop. Then, Dipper ran towards a cliff and jumped across. He landed on the other side, and gave himself a high five, sending him backwards enough to lose his balance and fall down. A little later, he found himself in a hot spring with the Manotaurs. "Guys, I just want to say that these last few hours have been, I, I feel like there's really been some growth!"
"I have a growth!" One Manotaur pointed to a bump on his head.
"Glurk, you are hilarious today!" Glurk clicked his tongue in agreement. Dipper relaxed against the wall of the water.
"It's just you guys took me under your wing and have been so supportive"
"Oh stop." Said Chutzpar.
"No, you know what?" Asked Dipper. "You really have been! I think I feel like I'm finally becoming a man here!"
"Not yet Destructor." Said Chutzpar. "One final task remains." Two Manotaurs walked in the background, and one whipped the other with a towel.
"Hey! Quit it!"
"You quit it!"
"The deadliest trial of all." Continued Chutzpar.
"I've survived 49 other trials!" Said Dipper. "Whatever it is, bring it on!"
"Yeah!" Yelled the three Manotaurs.
A Manotaur lit a torch and Chutzpar laid a few tattoos on Dipper. Three Manotaurs kneeled down and three others began drumming on their heads with bones. "Behold our leader, Leaderaur!" An older Manotaur walked forward, humming to himself.
"Is he like the oldest, or wisest, or" asked Dipper.
"Greetings young on" the old Manotaur got eaten by a larger one.
"Nah, he's just the offering. That is Leaderaur." Chutzpar pointed up and Dipper looked to see an excessively large Manotaur.
"You! You wish to be man?" Dipper beat his chest.
"Yeah!" Called the Manotaurs.
"Then you must heroic act, go to highest mountain" Leaderaur reached into his chest and pulled out a spear made of bone, "and bring back head of the Multi-bear." He tossed the spear to Dipper's feet as the other Manotaurs gasped.
"The multi-bear?" Asked Dipper. "That some sort of bear?"
"He's our sword enemy! Conquer him, and your manformation will be complete."
"Conquer?" Asked Dipper. He looked at the spear. "I dunno man."
"Destructor!" Said Chutzpar. "Is this yours?" He had gone into Dipper's bag and pulled out a cd case.
"Uh, no!" Dipper laughed nervously. "I dunno whose that is, I was just borrowing it, a friend's, not mine." The other Manotaurs began looking at each other.
"I dunno about this." Said one. Dipper walked back over to the spear, and picked it up.
"I will conquer the Multi-bear!" Leaderaur shot fire through his nostrils as the other Manotaurs cheered. Dipper ducked from the falling embers, and pat out the one that landed on him. "I'm okay."
"Go!" Said Laderaur. Dipper headed out and began heading up the mountain. He ran as fast as he could through the woods, jumping over logs and dodging between branches. He cut down a few that got in his way, nothing slowing him. He climbed up a tree, and looked at the highest peak, still a long way away. He went back down, got some water from the river and looked at the nearby deer. He nodded at it, and it nodded at him. Dipper continued his trek, jumping over missing sections of the path and climbing sheer rock walls, before finally coming to his destination. He pulled the spear out and looked into the cave.
"I'm coming for you, Multi-bear." Lightning crashed behind him.
"Okay Grunkle Stan!" Called Mabel. "You started like this, but you became" she looked away from the image to see Stan even worse than when he started.
"Can I scratch myself now?"
"No! No no no! Is that throw up on your shirt?" Stan looked at it.
"I dunno how to answer that." Mabel ripped the image and looked up in annoyance.
"Face it Mabel, your uncle's unfixable." Said Wendy. "Like that spinning pie trolly thing in the diner." Mabel looked at Stan again, smiling.
"Grunkle Stan, come with me!" She ran out of the room. "And leave your pants at home!"
"With pleasure!" Stan followed.
Dipper entered the cave, and stepped on a bone that snapped under him. He looked further into the cave to see more bones strewn about. He grabbed one. "What is a Multi-bear?" Something that looked like a rock stood, drawing Dipper's attention. The Multi-bear growled at him. "Oh, that's a Multi-bear." He looked up at the Multi-bear.
"Bear Heads, silence!" Multi-bear hit the one head that was still roaring. It roared again, only to get slapped a few more times. He refocused his attention of Dipper. "Child, why have you come here?"
"Multi-bear, I seek your head!" Said Dipper. "Or, one of them, anyways. There's like, what, six, six heads?"
"This is foolish! Leave now! Or die!" Dipper pointed the spear. "So be it!" All the bear heads roared at once, sending the scattered bones away. Dipper spun the spear and pointed it, prepared. Multi-bear charged him, but he ran around the wall and ended up behind him. Multi-bear swiped a pile of bones at him, and Dipper ducked behind a rock to avoid the pointy bits. He looked himself over as Multi-bear approached, then jumped on top of the rock. One of the bear heads roared and tried to bite him, only for Dipper to jump on it. He ran up and jumped on the next one that roared at him, then got in Multi-bear's back and began to choke him with the spear. The main head roared and Multi-bear backed up, but fell down, defeated. The dust cleared, and Dipper stood, ready to deliver the final blow.
"A real man shows no mercy!" Multi-bear sighed.
"Very well, warrior. But will you grant a magical beast one, last request?"
"Uh, okay." Said Dipper.
"I wish to die, listening to my favorite song." Both of them looked over at a stereo, and Dipper jumped off and walked over. "Tape is already in there. You can just hit any there you go, that's it." Dipper pressed the on button, and one of his favorites began to play. Dipper was stunned.
"You listen to icelandic pop group Baba?" He turned to Multi-bear. "I, I love Baba."
"I thought I was the only one." Said Multi-bear. "All the Manotaurs make fun of me because I know all the words to the song Disco Girl."
"Oh, you mean Disco Girl!"
"Coming through!"
"That girl is you!" They both sang. "O oh! O oh!" Dipper laughed.
"This is crazy! Finally someone wh-who understands! Uh, oh yeah. I guess I'm suppose to kill you? Or I'll never be a man."
"I accept my fate." Said Multi-bear."
"No! Really?" Asked Dipper.
"It's for the best." Assured Multi-bear. Dipper raised the spear, then stopped as a small noise came from his right. He saw Cassie exiting a circle, very similar to the one he saw her use during his fight with Gideon.
"We all know how this ends, right?" She asked. Dipper nodded.
Dipper stuck the spear into the stone before Leaderaur. "I'm not gonna do it!" The Manotaurs gasped.
"You were told the price of manhood was the Multi-bear's head!" Said Laderaur.
"Listen Leaderaur! You too Testosteraur, Pituitaur and, I dunno, whatever your name is, Beardy?"
"It's Beardy."
"You keep telling me that being a man is doing all these tasks and being aggro all the time! I'm starting to think that stuff's malarkey!" Many of the Manotaurs gasped. "You heard me! Malarkey! So maybe I don't have muscles or hair in certain places and sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes I leave it on, because dang it Top 40 hits are in the Top 40 for a reason! They're catchy!"
"Destructor, what are you saying?" Asked Chutzpar. Dipper turned to him.
"I'm saying the Multi-bear is a really nice guy. And you're a bunch of jerks if you want me to cut off his head!" Leaderaur got extremely angry and stood up from his throne. He raised his fist towards Dipper and broke the spear. The Manotaurs gasped.
"Kill the Multi-bear or never be a man!" He bellowed. Dipper was silent for a moment.
"Them I guess I'll never be a man."
"Boo!" Yelled the Manotaurs.
"Weak!" Said Chutzpar.
"Boo!"
"Hey guys! Who wants to go build something and knock it down?" Asked Chutzpar. The Manotaurs cheered and began to leave the chamber. Dipper kicked a rock and walked away. Cassie waited for him outside.
"You made the right choice, you know?"
"Spin!" Yelled Susan, still hitting the pie rack. "Spin!" Stan and Mabel walked in.
"Lazy Susan, listen." Susan stepped down from her stepladder. "I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner. If you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan! Also women live longer than men so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards!" She said the last part extremely quickly. Stan stepped forward.
"So, Lazy Susan, what do ya say?" Susan looked him over, and walked away. Stan sighed, and he and Mabel began to walk away.
"Hey!" Called Susan. The two stopped. "Here's my number, why don't you give me a call sometime?" The two walked back and Stan grabbed the paper.
"Really?" Asked Stan.
"Really!" Susan laughed. "Also, here's some pie! On the house! For you!" Susan set it down at the table and walked away. Mabel screeched in joy.
"We did it! When're you gonna call? You gonna call now? I don't have a phone! Let's buy a phone! We can put it on a credit card! Let's get a credit card!" Stan took a bite of his pie.
"Mabel, let a man enjoy his pie, huh?" Mabel looked out the window to see Dipper putting his shirt back on, holding his hat, with Cassie walking next to him. He put his hat on.
"Dipper!" Called Mabel. Dipper looked into the diner window. "It's me! Mabel! I'm looking at you through the glass! And Cassie! You too!"
"I'll leave you to this." Said Cassie. She continued walking even as Dipper stopped.
"Right here! This is my voice! I'm talking to you from inside!" Dipper looked around, then at Mabel and nodded. He went into the Diner. "Did you see me through the"
"Yes." Said Dipper, sitting down.
"What's wrong?" Asked Mabel.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Good." Said Stan.
"It's just that these half man half bull humanoids were hanging out with me"
"Here we go." Said Stan.
"But then they wanted me to do this really tough, horrible thing but, it just wasn't right. So I said no."
"You're your own man and you stood up for yourself." Said Stan. He took another bite.
"Huh?"
"Yeah, you did what was right even though no one agreed with you. Sounds pretty manly to me, but what do I know?" Stan returned to his pie as Dipper smiled.
"Wait a minute!" Said Mabel. "Do my eyes deceive me?" She crawled across the table and looked at Dipper's shirt. "You have a chest hair!" Dipper pulled down his shirt and gasped.
"You're right! I do!" He laughed. "This is amazing! I really do! Take that Manchester! Take that Pituitaur!"
"Pituitaur?" Asked Stan.
"This guy has chest hair!" Proclaimed Dipper. Mabel plucked it and put it in her scrapbook.
"Scrapbookertunity!" Dipper was shocked and horrified.
"Don't worry kid, if you're anything like me there's more where that came from." Said Stan. He ripped open his shirt.
"Oh! Gross!" Said Dipper. The trio laughed. "Seriously, that's disgusting."
Tími til að gera meira könnun og læra meira!
Oh yeah, and here's something for anybody who reads all the way through. The first five people who send me a good character in PM will get that character turned into a Reality Shifter, set into any Reality you want. Things I'm looking for specifically are background info, appearance, character story, strengths and weaknesses. Anything else you deem needed for a character will also be appreciated. Remember, the first 5 who send me a good character will get their own story. They will be shorter stories than my usual ones, no more than a few chapters, but you get to choose how it goes. I can't wait to see what people come up with!