32. Choices
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Jane drifted in and out, too exhausted to hang on against the gentle sway of the horse's gait and the warmth of shared body heat lulling her to sleep, even as she wanted desperately to listen. Mother and son spoke in low voices until Loki suddenly pulled up short, and Jane held her breath while he confessed that he felt himself beyond help or hope.
She thought he was grateful to his brother, admitting it by denying it. Jane was grateful, anyway.
They went on talking, Frigga insisting they must go directly into Odin's presence while Loki argued for the need to pause and make themselves presentable. She smiled a little to herself as Loki wove a wide circle of reasonable premises which then narrowed and narrowed until he'd trapped his mother into agreeing that Jane needed to be warmed up properly and carefully for the sake of her fragile mortal health. Then he struck for the jugular.
"Allow me my own time to prepare. I should like the chance to meet my fate with dignity."
Jane wished she could see Frigga's reaction to this quiet pronouncement; the silence was deafening.
She must have dozed off again, because the next thing she knew she was being jostled as Loki shifted her weight into his arms, turning her head so he could whisper in her ear.
"Wake, Jane Foster. Look."
Her fuzzy head registered the words, but she didn't come to full consciousness until he pushed the cloak away from her face and a gust of cold air went right down her neck. Blinking and wriggling, she shook off her lethargy. Loki was looking at her eagerly, his face shadowed by the deep hood of his cloak, now pulled low over his brow. He grinned, gathering her close, and she clutched at his lapels in terror as he stood up in the stirrups and nudged her chin with his.
"Look."
She did, developing instant vertigo as she stared up at the endless grandeur of the pipe organ building, looming above them like a smooth, gold mountain. They were on a curve of the path, still not quite level with the central structure, but at its feet she could see a huge courtyard tiled with blinding white stone and a bridge the size of a freeway leading into it. The broad expanse of the bridge was flanked on either side by colossal statues of warrior figures standing inside floating arches which looked to weigh hundreds of thousands of tonnes. The axe the nearest titan was holding was probably the size of a yacht. Jane felt microscopic.
The gold surfaces shone even brighter now that they were close, the starlight amplified by the reflection giving the buildings a dim halo, and birds circling the towers were like specks against the pristine walls.
"The palace," Loki said, his breath tickling her cheek. "When we were boys, we climbed that tower- just there. At the top, we couldn't get inside and couldn't get down again. It took Father's ravens two days to find us."
She stared at him, appalled, and he laughed.
"Thor was boasting and I dared him to prove himself. Of course, I had meant for him to go alone, but somehow..."
"And I thought I was a handful as a kid."
They made the rest of the trip at a slow walk in single file, Loki keeping his face obscured in the folds of his hood. The path wound its way down to a more modest side entrance of the palace, passing through gardens and scrubby woods with low shrubs and more kinds of flowering moss than Jane could ever have imagined existing. She tried to take everything in, but it blurred into a general impression of scale and colour in spite of her efforts to observe specifics.
Eventually they made their way inside an enormous antechamber in the left wing of towers, where Loki tucked her into one arm and slid out of the saddle with practised nonchalance, handing his reins to a silent guard. He set her down and she stretched as she turned a circle to take in the room. It echoed like a cave, the footfalls of the horses being lead away seeming to come from everywhere, the smooth walls appearing to curve upwards forever as their shine reflected firelight from vast braziers standing at the sides of the room and hanging from the distant ceiling.
"My mother will take you to one of her lady's chambers. You will stay at her side, won't you, Mother? I can leave my guest in your care?" There was a strident undertone to his veneer of pleasantry and Jane knew he was pressing hard to extract a promise. She didn't know how afraid to be, how to object to splitting up in front of all these people.
"Of course, my son. You have my word she will want for nothing. I will not leave her unattended for even a moment."
"Very well, then," he said quickly, suddenly seeming hurried. He bowed over his mother's hand, and then over Jane's, surprising her with a dry kiss on her knuckles. "Until our next meeting, Jane Foster."
Frigga frowned after him, her brow knit with worry. Jane watched him walking away, weaving rapidly between guards and grooms and others working various tasks she didn't understand. She didn't like that goodbye one bit, she didn't like him slipping off into a crowd by himself.
Turning, she found Frigga studying her with a shrewd look. "I must beg your pardon, Doctor Jane, for keeping you from your rest. I'm sure you are very weary. Travelling by bifrost takes some acclimatisation."
"Umm, yeah," Jane said stupidly, not knowing how to deal with being left alone with a queen. "I, uh, I mean sure. It's important, right? Whatever you need. Um, Your Majesty."
Frigga smiled indulgently. "Very well. Come this way."
"So, uh, you guys discovered and built the first bifrost?"
Travelling through the prodigious corridors at a good clip (Jane had to do a pretty ungraceful trot to keep up with Frigga's stately, gliding walk), she had the increasing sensation she now understood how it felt to be a white rat set loose in some experimental labyrinth of truly heroic dimensions. Gaping openly at everything around her, she tried to memorise what she was seeing and also listen as Frigga went into the history of Asgard.
"But how does it function if-"
"This way, Doctor Jane."
The Queen waved her through several sets of alternating small and large doorways, each recessed in apparently purely decorative rooms, each with tear-drop shaped arches formed from carved lattices which looked like thousands of tiny tree branches wound together in fractal patterns. Finally opening into the main room, lit again by braziers, there was a set of low terraces, cut in geometric patterns and framing a huge diamond shaped pool full of steaming, milky white water and covered in some kind of flower petals. All around it were narrow, claw-footed benches draped with diaphanous fabrics and furs.
Three women wrapped in muslin toga-type things appeared from another recessed door, one with a ewer, one with an arm full of sea sponges, and one with a tray of delicate glass bottles holding differently coloured oily substances.
Jane opened her mouth to protest.
Later, scrubbed within an inch of her life and wrapped in her own toga thing, she was being shown a bunch of hopelessly fancy robes she wanted nothing to do with. Two of the servants were winding her hair up into a wreath of braids around the crown of her head and sticking it full of gold bobbins with fragile gold flowers on the ends. The petals were so delicate, they moved if you breathed on them.
The third servant held up what looked to Jane like thirty yards of forest green fabric, woven into itself and inlaid with gold embellishments. "Prince Loki has instructed that you be offered his colours, Doctor Jane," she said quietly, brushing the back of her hand over the robes in presentation.
Jane sought out Frigga with panicky eyes. "What does that mean?"
Standing at the edge of a lattice which shielded the room from an outside balcony, Frigga glanced away from the view. "If you wear them, it means you are a member of his household and under his protection. You become a subject through his patronage and he takes responsibility for your actions before the throne of Asgard."
Jane stared at the green robes. Surely that was kind of a good sign? He couldn't think his situation was so dire if he was going to hitch her wagon to his identity like that. But maybe she was missing something.
"It was that garden- you see the white colonnades?" Frigga pointed down the rows of terraces to a perfectly manicured series of walks with rows of columns and short trees surrounded by hedges which hugged the curve of the next tower over. "It was that garden where I first beheld him. The leaves were fresh, everything was new and fragrant. My husband chose Loki's colours as a token of the hopes he cherished in that garden. Hope in a fresh dawn and something newly growing."
Jane thought of what she had overheard this same woman saying about not wanting a Jotun baby in her arms and wondered. "He told me something once about the acacia being in bloom. That you told him, I mean. He said you told him about when he was born..." she trailed off, leaving the implication that obviously this wasn't quite true.
Frigga's eyes widened in surprise. "I did not imagine he would remember such a thing. Acacia are a winter blossom. I..."
"I get it." Hell of an inside joke. "What is he so worried about? Why does he want me protected?"
"To my knowledge, no mortal has ever worn the colours of an Asgardian prince under any circumstances." The Queen looked uncomfortable. "It is very rare for any such… the primitive races are not looked on as petitioners or subjects. They have no voice in these halls and cannot be expected to have one. We must be custodians of your world for exactly this reason."
Well, translating that from diplomatic to English and adding in the tactfully unstated parts she'd already heard bluntly enumerated while Loki was posturing for SHIELD, Jane reckoned what was really being said was that she was a backward savage and essentially an exotic zoo animal as far as the Asgardians were concerned. And Frigga, while acting like kindness itself and obviously sympathetic to Jane personally, didn't give off the vibe of being terribly opposed to that general assessment.
"He doesn't wish you to be taken as only a mortal," Frigga finally added with polite embarrassment. As if they were speaking of an indiscretion.
"I am, though. I am only a mortal." Jane paused. "This won't make stuff worse for him, will it?"
Frigga shook her head, a certain shrewdness showing around her mouth. "No. I should think it stands him very well."
Jane turned back to the robes. Yeah, it must look good to have compassion for the hapless primitives, right? Sticking up for the weaker animals? They were aliens, but their concept of nobility didn't seem as different as all that.
"Do you accept the colours, Doctor Jane?" the servant finally asked, her manner hesitant and apologetic.
"Yeah, totally. Why not. I mean yes."
As they were dressing her, she tried desperately to follow how the layers worked and to guess at what things might be made of, but it was hopeless. There was a white shift, a stretchy vest thing that looked like leather and felt more like spandex with some kind of reinforcing inside, thick brocade, and silky stuff which felt cool against her skin. The final layer involved gold metal hooked over her chest and side where the vest was underneath, overall giving the distinct impression of armour even though her legs were buried in acres of impractical skirts. Then a draped walking cloak covered her shoulders, her arms coming through long slits instead of sleeves.
"What rank is 'Doctor' in human society, Jane Foster?" Frigga asked, walking around her with a critical eye, checking that she was coiffed within an inch of her life.
"It's, um, well it kinda depends. Pretty high up sort of, I guess? I'm not a medical doctor, which I think is kind of higher, socially, but it means I earned a lot of educational recognition and I'm an expert in my field. I teach others and people consult me about astrophysics. Basically. Your Majesty."
"My sons hold you in great esteem. Not, I think, for this learning. I do not impugn it by saying so, I simply suggest I know my children too well to imagine they are so studious or respectful of mortal knowledge."
"Well, in Thor's case, maybe it's something else, but..."
"Loki may prize your intellect, but it is not that which he admires." The queen stepped close to her and dropped a pendant around her neck, its long chain hanging almost to her belly button. It was a small gold phial. "Break it if you ever have need. A simple charm, but useful. Consider it my thanks for what you have done for our family."
Jane sputtered, wanting to argue with literally everything she'd just said.
"You are ready now. Let us go."
.,.,.,.,.,.,.
Frigga walked her back through the maze of hallways and Jane found it even harder to keep up with the unfamiliar silk slippers she was wearing sliding off her heels every third step. Jogging and hopping, she pulled them back on.
"So what did Thor tell you about me, exactly?" she asked breathlessly.
"Not a great deal, you needn't fear a loose tongue. He considers that he owes you a debt, and he spoke of your exemplary conduct." She turned a corner sharply and waited for Jane to catch up so she could lower her voice. "Thor is not of many words, but no secrets are hid, Jane Foster, not from me. Have you chosen to take up arms for one side in the family disharmony? Have you..."
Stung and disappointed with how unsurprised she was, Jane shook her head. "Are you accusing me of plotting against Thor?" She deliberately left the co-conspirator who was obviously most concerned and would be primarily to blame if this were the case unspoken, preferring that it stay that way.
The barb struck and Frigga's face creased with dismay. "You must know it's impossible..."
"Mother!"
They both froze and swivelled as one to face Thor, who charged towards them from the other end of the corridor.
"Jane Foster," he saluted gravely, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder, "I would speak with you."
"I guess that's okay," Jane said uncertainly, sneaking a glance at Frigga. She was a tiny bit scared to leave the Queen's side after Loki's pointed insistence that his mother stay with her, sure he had a reason. "Your Majesty, would it be terrible and rude of me if I asked you to just wait right here while we talk in, um, that alcove thing over there?"
Frigga scrutinised them both, her long earrings swinging like pendulums as she turned her head to look between them. "Very well, Doctor Jane, if that is your wish. I have promised to attend you."
"I would ask..." Thor started to say in an imperious tone.
"Please," Jane interrupted, "I really don't want her to go."
Thor stopped short in surprise, staring at her for a long moment. He shook his head as if to clear it and herded her into the alcove. "Jane Foster, I must tell you that my brother came to visit me."
"You guys didn't fight again, did you, because I swear…"
"No, no, fear not, all is well. He had a plan, and there was a part for me in it. He said it was to be your choice. He said he had done what was necessary for you to have that choice."
Jane's heart leapt into her throat and she grabbed at Thor's cape where it attached to his collar. "What? What did he say? What's the choice?"
"Be at peace, Jane Foster, he has explained much."
God, if anything was going to make her way less peaceful it was hearing a line like that. Who knew what he had 'explained' to get back on speaking terms with Thor.
"I know you have longed for the chance to study our stars, to research magic and science on Asgard, and Loki hoped to give it to you, but now... I'm sorry." The sincerity of Thor's regret was all over his face, but it passed quickly. "I would have liked to show you my world. But if you cannot stay, there is another course. Loki told me of a sea cave near one of the outer islands where 'uncertainty is certain'- you know of what he speaks?"
"Yeah, I do, he means there's access to a good wormhole site." She put her hand to her chest, her pulse pounding against her palm. "What's the plan?"
"He gave me this to give to you." He passed her a haphazard bundle with an Asgardian cylinder, like those in their atom smasher, jury rigged to an adjusted digital watch with an old smart phone screen soldered to it. Loki's handwriting in china marker across the glass explained how to turn it on and not to do so without strapping it to her wrist. Jane felt a wave of cold dread coming up through her guts. "He said that you would understand its workings. There is enough power for us to return to Midgard."
"Us?" she repeated, stunned.
"My father is well, the realm is safe. If you would like my company, it is yours. I do not swear an oath lightly, Jane Foster, and I swore to come back for you. These haven't been the reunions I foresaw, I would make that right." He smiled gently and there was sweetness in his expression which broke her heart. "There is much still for me to learn, and I have had good teachers on Midgard."
"How would you get back? My bridge is toast and I can't… I can't..."
"You will start anew! And if need be, I will wait to return until the bifrost is repaired. By that time… it will be time to go. Although there is this." He held up what looked like a quartz sea stone, but which she guessed must be something else. "Loki stole it from the healing room. It could prolong your prime by as much as thirty years, perhaps more."
She tried to swallow, but her throat was too dry. Loki had thought of all of this before they left earth. He'd built her a single-use wormhole maker out of lab junk before he'd even posed the question about bringing her here with only his magic to get her home. In case she said no? In case she couldn't trust him without insurance? Or had he planned exactly this moment right now, had he known all along they'd catch him with sentiment even if they could never catch him with force?
"Jane," Thor said tenderly, his knuckle tipping her chin up, "do not be burdened. Our lives are long and Asgard is eternal; she will be here always. I would give up more than time for your sake."
I didn't do that much for you, I really didn't. Everyone is so grateful and all I can think is… "What about Loki?"
His hand slid down to a loose grasp at the base of her throat, the same affectionate touch which she'd seen him use on his brother, but the warmth of his skin didn't comfort her and his knowing sympathetic look was not one she wanted. "My brother is not a puzzle to be solved, or a challenge for you to overcome, Jane Foster. You cannot keep him contained in a notebook or a make sense of him through a telescope. Believe me, I have tried for a long time to untwist his brambles. The thorns are not for show."
She was so angry she wanted to barf and then cry. She shrugged his hand off her neck and stepped back. "Is that what he said? That I think he's a problem to solve?"
Thor's eyes were relentless in meeting hers, his gaze never dropping. "He said you deserved the chance to walk in the sun. He said he wanted to teach you about our home, to show you how he thinks with magic, but he is certain Father's judgement would not allow it even if he should allow a mortal into the far reaches of Asgard. He expects further punishment for bringing you here.
"He asked me, for the sake of who we once were to each other, to give you every choice in my power if he could not do as he promised. I have honoured that by offering the one thing I've learned is really mine to give."
The sick feeling wasn't passing. She stared at him and tried to figure out from his face where he thought they stood, what impression Loki had given him. No wonder Loki was so keen to make sure he'd be the one blamed for her being here, Thor needed to be free to act so he could do this.
"Well," she said, barely keeping a lid on her temper, "you forgot one. A choice."
He frowned in confusion.
"Where is Loki now?"
"He went to prepare to meet Father."
"Great, I've got time for the third option! Jane doesn't co-operate. Your Majesty, please take me to Odin!"