Oh boy oh boy, this took me a while to get through. Had a bit of writers block and other life things, but I got through it! Woo!

Thanks again to everyone who had read this story so far and all that!

Now let's get back to another chapter of the Vanitas flashback arc!

Ch.12

Vanitas sat at the table Isa was sitting at while he waited for Lea to make some food. As he sat there his mind wandered and a thought came to him. He thought of something he didn't seem to think much on beforehand.

"Wait… Where's Ansem?" Vanitas just now had realized that he hadn't heard or seen Ansem since he was trapped here. Maybe it was because he had spend all the days in his room, but it was now something he was curious about.

"He likes to come and go as he pleases," Isa replied. "We don't know where he goes though. But I would figure he has some other place he visits for whatever reasons he has."

"And he just leaves everyone here to be on their own?" Vanitas asked.

"It's not like we can escape from here," Lea said as he brought over some toast for Vanitas.

"Oh… Yeah…" Vanitas said as he looked down as his food.

"But at least there's still plenty to do around here," Lea said as he sat across from Vanitas. After Vanitas started to eat his food Lea decided to speak up again. "So what do you wanna do Vanitas? After you eat of course."

"I… Don't know…" Vanitas said as he thought things over. He still couldn't think of anything he wanted to do. He was still having a hard time adjusting to not feeling, so that added to not wanting to do anything. Though he kept trying his best he couldn't think of anything.

"Well we could always play a game or something. There are a lot of games and stuff around here," Lea suggested.

"Maybe we could try that," Vanitas said.

"All right! We'll find a game to play after you eat. We are going to have some fun today, okay?" Lea stated with confidence.

"You guys can try to have fun, but not me," Isa said as he got up from his seat.

"Aw come on Isa, join us for a fun game," Lea said.

Isa shook his head. "No. I don't care to play any games or have fun for that matter."

Vanitas saw the cold and distant look in Isa's eyes, he wanted to try to get to know Isa more but he was just so cold and rude. Vanitas sighed a little, but then he remembered what Lea had said. He thought it over for a second before he thought of something to say to Isa, to hopefully try and convince him to play with them.

"Why don't you wanna play with us?" he asked Isa.

"Because…I don't care to," Isa said, seeming to want to brush off the subject. But Vanitas was not ready to give up.

"But it's just a game and having fun. You should play with us Isa," Vanitas said.

"I don't see much point nowadays in playing games. They aren't a whole lot of fun when you can't truly enjoy them," Isa replied.

Vanitas sighed again. "Isa sure is stubborn about this. But Lea said that Isa just acts all cold like this. I bet I could get him to play with us… just gotta think how."

"Don't be such a drag Isa," Lea decided to say. "Come on and play a game with us. Get to know the kid."

"Yeah! Come on Isa," Vanitas added it.

"You two are trying to be very persuasive. But it won't work. I am not going to play any games," Isa replied.

Vanitas thought for one moment more. Suddenly a very sly comment came to mind. He just hoped that it would actually work. "So you don't want to play… cause you know you are just going to lose, right?"

Isa's eyes widened slightly. "Now why would you say that?"

"Cause you don't wanna play a game. That means that you are afraid to lose,' Vanitas replied casually.

Isa narrowed his eyes slightly at Vanitas. "I am not afraid I would lose."

"Ah, so you know you would lose," Vanitas stated.

"No…" Isa grumbled. "I would not lose at all."

"Then prove it. Prove to me that you can win a game or something," Vanitas said as he smirked. "Otherwise I'll just think you are just afraid of losing or a sore loser."

"Very well then, I'll accept your challenge. Only to show that I am not afraid to lose, nor would I be a sore loser," Isa stated as he crossed his arms.

Vanitas chuckled with confidence after that. Lea also couldn't help but chuckle at little as he realized what just had happened. Vanitas still couldn't believe that it actually had worked.

Isa though seemed confused over it all.

"What do you two think is so funny?" Isa asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"You just fell for the kid's trap," Lea said as he smirked. "He roped you into playing some games with us. And no, you can't take that back now."

Isa's gasped as he finally realized it all. He then sighed as he rubbed his forehead, seeming like he was mad at the fact he had fallen for something so silly. After a moment though he regained himself and looked right at Vanitas.

"Fine… you may have gotten me there. But I won't let it happen again, but I will stay true to my word on this and play some games."

Vanitas smiled after that. That was when he saw that Isa wasn't as bad as he original had thought. Sure Isa was still rude and mostly emotionless, but he did still seem to show a little bit of emotion here and there. He really always wanted to have him be like his brother, like Lea was going to do. But he knew something like that would be harder to talk about to Isa. Vanitas figured he would have to think up something good to say to get Isa to agree to it.

Once Vanitas had finished up his meal they headed out into one of the recreational rooms that held board games and other various fun items. Vanitas looked through the closet that held all the bored games and started to look over all the different boxes. His eyes soon fell upon one game. One certain game that he was very familiar with. He pulled out the box and looked at the title.

The game was called 'Command Board' and Vanitas knew the game very well. It was a slightly complicated game but he loved playing it. Vanitas sighed a little as he thought back on memories of playing the game. Memories of playing it with Ventus.

Ventus was the one who first had introduced him to the game. It took several tries to learn it, and Vanitas originally had gotten very frustrated while trying to learn how to play. He chuckled a little as he remembered the few times he had gotten so frustrated at the game that he actually flipped over the board. But he did learn to play the game and ended up loving it. He had mostly played it with just Ventus, but there were times where Ventus's other friends, Terra and Aqua, joined them.

After reminiscing about the game for a bit more, he finally turned around to show Isa and Lea the game. "This is what I wanna play."

"Ah Command Board. Good choice," Lea said.

"Well that is a game at least that you don't have to worry about Lea winning. He's never been very good at the game," Isa said while a small smug look appeared on his face.

"Hey! I've won a few games before," Lea retorted.

"Hmph, I let you win those," Isa replied, keeping his steady emotionless gaze while still having a slight smugness to his face.

Lea gasped. "You what? Come on Isa… You can't be serious about that."

Isa merely just shrugged. "Maybe I am and maybe I'm not."

"Aw come on Isa!" Lea sighed heavily. "Let's just play the game and see who's right."

Vanitas chuckled. "I'll be the one winning. I'll easily beat both of you."

"Oh really now?" Isa asked skeptical as he raised an eyebrow. "Well we shall see about that."

The three then headed over to one of the tables to set up the game. Vanitas picked out his favorite board layout and they prepared to play. As they played the game, Vanitas found it to be the most fun that he had since becoming trapped here. He tried his best to ignore the emptiness in side and only focus on happy and fun memories, and it seemed to help even though he truly couldn't feel any of it. But he knew at least he was doing something fun and that was all that mattered at the moment.

6 months later

Months had passed since Vanitas became trapped in the cursed mansion, and he had slowly gotten use to the fact that he was in fact trapped there. For the first few months he would go to sleep wishing everything was just a really long bad dream, but he would wake up the same each day. He would wake up in his room in the mansion and he would still feel empty inside. It never changed and he slowly came to accept that… even though he really didn't want to.

But now it had been months since he first came to the mansion. A half of a year had come and gone. Vanitas was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring out the window of his room. He was watching the outside world. Snow had begun to cover the ground and trees while frost had begun to creep up on the outside of the windows.

The snow stared to fall again from the sky, making the landscape look even prettier. Vanitas sighed heavily as he wraps his arms around his pillow, holding it close to his chest.

A knock was heard at his door a moment later.

"Hey Van, you in there?" Lea's voice asked through the door.

"Yeah…" Vanitas said, not taking his eyes away from the window.

The door opened in the next second and Lea walked in, but Vanitas still pay no attention to him. He heard Lea walk over closer to him though. "So I take it you've been in here all morning since breakfast then?"

Vanitas nodded, but he didn't care to say anything more.

"First snowfall of the year. It's nice right?" Lea asked, trying to make more of a conversation.

"I guess…" Vanitas muttered.

"What do you mean 'you guess'? It's snow! It's always nice to watch the snow fall," Lea replied.

Vanitas let out another sigh. It still bothered him he couldn't feel emotions over situations and he wasn't too fond of having to explain everything, but he knew Lea would listen. Vanitas was still happy for the fact that Lea still tried his best to help out and be like a big brother to him. It did help make things easier for Vanitas at times.

"I've… I've never seen snow before."

"What? Seriously?" Lea asked.

Vanitas finally turned to look at Lea, forming an angry look across his face. Even without feeling, he knew the expression was still there and it could still mean a lot. "Of course not! I'm from Destiny Islands, remember? Warm weather all year long there. It never once snowed there. So yes… this is the first time I've seen snow in person."

Lea closed his eyes as he sighed. "Sorry…" After a deep breath he straightened up and a smile came across his face. "Well since this is your first time seeing snow, we gotta make it count. Come on, let's go out to one of the courtyards."

Vanitas tilted his head slightly. "Why?"

"So you can experience the snow first hand. It's more than stuff to look at. I know you've at least heard about all the fun you can have with snow," Lea replied.

"But…" Vanitas looked at Lea before looking out the window at the snow. "How can I experience the fun of snow… without… you know…"

"The same way you have been having fun here, thinking of fun memories and all that stuff."

"But this is different. I've never experienced anything like snow… I don't know…It just wouldn't be the same…" Vanitas sighed after he finished speaking.

"Come on though Van, you gotta at least try. I bet it would be fun at least to try to convince Isa to join us," Lea said. He then rubbed his chin in thought. "I wonder how hard it would be to get him to agree to a snowball fight."

Vanitas looked back at Lea and smiled a little. Trying to get Isa to join them in fun things was something that Vanitas enjoyed doing. Though Vanitas still was a bit conflicted between everything. He understood was Lea meant by holding onto the memories of emotion, but he also saw from Isa how easy it was just to let that go because there wasn't really anything there. But then again Isa did have his moments where he seemed to pretend to show some form of emotion, though most of the time it was rudeness or something else like that.

"All right fine… I'll go outside and see the snow," Vanitas said as he jumped off the bed. "But don't we need winter clothes and stuff?"

"Yeah you're right about that. There is probably some stuff in some of the clothes. Let's go check it out," Lea said as they headed out of the room.

There were several clothes throughout the mansion that were filled with different clothes. Clothes for all different seasons and also all different sizes. They made their way down the hallway until they reached one of the clothes and then opened it up. They thankfully were able to find some winter coats, hats and gloves that were very close in their sizes. Once they had them on, Lea grabbed stuff for Isa and then they made their way around the mansion, looking for where Isa was.

"I think I last saw him in the library, so let's check over there first," Lea instructed as they walked along the hallway.

"Okay," Vanitas said as he nodded. "But what if we can't actually get him to join us?"

"Then we will just leave him to be a party pooper and we will have the fun all to ourselves," Lea said as he chuckled slightly.

Vanitas still never could understand Lea. He knew Lea still held on to many memories of emotion, but he still couldn't understand how Lea actually could handle it all. He knew Lea was just the same as him and everyone else… they all had their emotions taken away by Ansem. But Lea seemed to be the only one in the entire mansion that could pretend to still have those emotions. Vanitas sometimes wondered what Lea was like when he was alone… and not pretending to have emotions. Was he like Vanitas? Or maybe even like Isa? Did he feel all alone and empty? Did he also hate the constant emptiness inside that always was there now? Did he ever just not want to keep on pretending? Vanitas could never tell with Lea, but he still wondered about that from time to time. He never cared to ask though, those were just thoughts he kept to himself. He knew though he was still glad to have Lea as a friend at the mansion.

The two of them walked down to the library room and stepped inside. Isa was there in fact, sitting at one of the tables as he looking through some books. When he heard the door close, he looked up at Lea and Vanitas. He narrowed his eyes as he inspected them. Before either Vanitas or Lea could say or ask anything Isa spoke up first.

"No."

"But we didn't even-" Vanitas started to say, but Isa cut him off.

"I already know what you are going to ask and the answer is no. I am not going to go play in the snow," Isa replied. There was a cold and serious harshness in his eyes that seem to show that he was not going to change his mind.

Vanitas knew he had to try something though. "But Isa… This is my first time seeing snow in person."

"I had figured that would be the case, but I still say no. And besides that... " Isa leaned forward slightly. "You really want your first experience with snow to be when you can't feel any emotion?"

"Isa," Lea started off with a warning tone in his voice.

"I can still go out there and have fun. I just gotta think of fun memories from before," Vanitas replied as he walked closer to Isa. Even if he couldn't get Isa to join him, he would at least try to stand his ground to prove that he could still have fun in the snow even without emotions.

"While that may be true, this is an experience you have never encountered before. How can you find fun memories to pretend to have fun if you don't even know how to properly react to the snow?"

Vanitas took a step back now. He hadn't thought about it like that before. Now that he heard Isa say it, those thoughts built up in his mind and wouldn't leave his mind. He stared down at the ground now as he let Isa's words continue to linger.

"Cut it out Isa," Lea grumbled as he placed a hand on Vanitas's shoulder. "Don't ruin it for him."

"I would say not having any emotions already ruined it for him. I am just explaining it so he wouldn't have to go through the frustration of not being able to feeling anything when seeing the snow or trying to play with it," Isa replied casually as he leaned back in the chair.

Lea sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Sometimes I just don't understand…" He muttered those words quietly under his breath. After a moment he shook his head and turned around, now facing the door. "Come on Vanitas, let's go."

Vanitas did not verbally say anything back, he only nodded and turned to follow Lea. He did though take a moment to look back at Isa. He wanted to try to say something, but he couldn't think of anything more to say. Isa's words from before still were echoing in his head. It seemed that Isa also had nothing more to say as he went back to looking through the books on the table. After a moment Vanitas turned away and walked out of the library and closed the door behind him. He stared down at the ground again as he sighed. A moment later he felt Lea place a hand on his head.

"Hey now, let's not let Isa get us down. The snow is still there, let's go out and see it," Lea said.

Vanitas just nodded as he followed behind Lea, though he now felt less sure about the whole thing than before. But he still wanted to try at least. They continued their walk until they reached one of the doors that lead out into a courtyard. The mansion had several courtyards throughout it, but like the outside of the mansion, it was overgrown and abandoned looking. Benches around the courtyard were either broken or eaten away by moss and other plants. A few statues remains, but pieces had been consumed by vines and leaves.

Vanitas stood in the doorway as Lea stepped outside. The cold brisk air brushed against Vanitas's face. He tensed up as the wind continued to nip at his face. He had never felt cold like that before. It was far colder than he had originally thought. And now… he had no idea how to feel about it… because he couldn't feel anything about it. And that was bothering him. He tried to take a moment to think on happy and enjoyable memories to try to give him some sense of what he could be feeling, but he couldn't bring anything to his mind.

He wanted to keep trying though. With a deep breath he stepped outside and his shoes crunched into the few inches of snow behind him. He walked around in the snow a little, trying to take everything in. Vanitas stared up at the sky and watched as snowflakes still fell down from the clouds above. He could feel the little bits of cold fall upon his face and melt slowly against him.

But he still couldn't find any reaction.

He couldn't find a way to pretend to be excited about snow.

This was something new entirely and he had no idea how to react at all.

And the emptiness inside just felt worse than ever now.

Vanitas stared down at the snow covered ground as he clenched his fists.

He heard snow crunching and saw that Lea was now standing next to him. "Hey, you ready to have some fun in the snow?"

Vanitas stared one more time at the snow falling around him. He took off one of his gloves and let a few snowflakes fall onto the palm of his hand. He watched as the snow slowly melted into water. It was a interesting sight for sure for Vanitas… but he still felt nothing at it.

Vanitas sighed as he placed his glove back on. "I can't do this…" He mumbled his words quietly as he looked away from Lea.

"What was that? I didn't hear you," Lea said.

"I said… I can't do this…" Vanitas restated.

"What do you mean you can't? Sure you can. You just start playing in the snow and all that. It's not that hard," Lea replied.

Vanitas sighed at he looked back at Lea. He prepared his next thoughts carefully. He thought of memories of emotion he could use to tell Lea just how he felt… or really wanted to feel.

Vanitas scrunched up his nose and furrowed his eyebrows. "I said I can't! I just can't do this! Without any emotion I can't understand how I am suppose to feel about all of this snow! And I hate that!"

"Hey, take it easy Van. It's okay," Lea said as he reached forward to place his hands on Vanitas's shoulders.

But before he could, Vanitas swatted his hands away and took a step back. "No! It's not okay. None of this is. It's not fair! I want to be able to enjoy the snow… I really do. But… I just can't feel anything. I just stare at the snow and nothing!"

Lea bit his lip as he thought over the situation. He tried his best to think of what he could say to Vanitas to get him to calm down and listen. He was still just a child after all, it was still hard for him to comprehend everything that happened to him.

"I know what Isa said before may still be bothering you… but why don't we-"

"No!" Vanitas shouted as loud as he could. "I don't want to hear anything else! I'm going back to my room…" Vanitas then ran right back towards the door and headed back towards his room.

Lea stood there as he watched Vanitas run off, a bit confused and surprised by the words said by the young boy. A long sigh was let out against the cold air. Lea watched as his breath formed from the coldness and then faded away into nothingness. He waited a few more minutes before deciding to head back inside to check on Vanitas.

Vanitas was already in his room, buried under his bed sheets and the winter clothes thrown across the floor. He had closed the curtains so he could no longer see the snow outside. He didn't want to think about any of that.

He wanted the emptiness to stop already. There was so many things that he wanted to have emotion for, but it was never going to happen. The emptiness just kept eating away inside at him. He tossed back and forth in his bed, hoping maybe somehow his emotions and feelings would come back to him. But of course, like the many other times he had tried, it just let to nothing, and the emptiness was still there.

Finally after a few minutes Vanitas calmed down and rested his head against his pillow. He stared off at the wall as he became lost in his thoughts over everything again. But soon he heard a knock on his door. He knew it just had to be Lea and Vanitas did not want to talk to him at the moment. He was frustrated with Lea now… well, he wanted to be frustrated with Lea. So Vanitas recalled as many angry memoires as he could before he answered.

"Go away Lea!" Vanitas shouted, trying to put as much tone as a emotionless person could into his voice.

"But Van…" Lea had started to say, but Vanitas didn't want to wait for him to finish.

"I said go away! I don't want to talk to you anymore," Vanitas grumbled.

There was a pause before he heard Lea speak up again. "Van… I'm sorry… But I-"

"I don't wanna hear it! I'm tired of you always trying to get me to keep on pretending. It just doesn't work! I can't care and so I don't care! So just leave me alone already…" Vanitas trailed off at the end there as he had lost the energy to keep up pretending to be angry.

"I'm sorry Vanitas. I'll leave you be now," Lea replied before Vanitas could hear Lea's footsteps trailing away from the door.

Normally Vanitas would expect to feel some angry or frustration over the whole ordeal, but by this point he was use to feeling nothing like always. He knew he should have been angry and he knew he wanted to feel that angry emotion… but just as Lea had told him… he could only pretend all of that.

But it was never the same.

It would never be the same.

But he still knew what he wished he could feel. And right now after he finally took in a deep breath, he knew what he wanted to feel. The minutes slowly ticked on by as Vanitas now just laid quietly in his bed as he thought things over and over again. But still at the end of every thought he knew what he wished he could feel.

He wanted to feel regret.

He already knew that he should not have yelled at Lea like that, but without the awful feeling of regret to push him to apologize, he didn't know what to do. So he decided to continue to lay in his bed for a while, trying to ignore the world outside.

He just wanted to ignore everything.

Maybe then… things could get easier.

But he still knew he had to do something about what he did before. He just needed time to think it through.

Lea walked down the hallway until he made it to the library. He entered inside and saw that Isa was still there. Without saying a word Lea walked over to the table and sat down across from Isa. As soon as Lea plopped down into the chair Isa looked up and closed his book.

"I assume that everything didn't go how you wanted it?"

Lea scowled at Isa. "Don't you start…"

"But I did know that something like this would happen. Vanitas did not do well to seeing snow without having any emotions correct?" Isa asked.

Lea let out a long sigh. "I just wanted to try to help him…"

"But you were pushing on that too hard. While he may be a child, he is also a child who has lost his emotions. He is struggling to understand how to deal with it and you kept trying to get him to pretend like nothing had happened. You can't make him forgot or pretend like he is still a normal child. That just isn't possible given the circumstances. You have to accept the fact that the kid is stuck just the same as us and there isn't anything you can do to change that," Isa stated as he held a stern and serious glare at Lea.

"Yeah yeah…. I know," Lea said as he sighed again. "I don't want to think about it anymore…"

Isa nodded as he went back to his book as he had nothing more to say. Lea just sat there, leaning back in the chair. Some time had passed and eventually the two heard to door open and someone walk it. Both of them looked over and saw that it was Vanitas. He didn't make any eye contact with either of them as he walked over to the table.

"Hey Van… Uh... " Lea started off, carefully thinking ove this words now. He didn't know why Vanitas was here now or if he was still mad from before. "What's up."

Vanitas slowly lifted his head and looked at Lea. "I'm sorry…"

"What?" Lea questioned. Vanitas being sorry was the last thing he expected him to say. "Why are you sorry? If anything… I am the one who should be sorry. I pushed you too much about pretending to have emotions."

"I know… Vanitas muttered. "But… I am sorry for yelling at you before. I was just… angry a little…"

Lea saw in the corner of his eye that Isa was about to speak up again. He knew Isa was about to make another remark, but Lea sent him a quick glare and thankfully Isa understand and kept quiet.

"It's okay. I'm still sorry for pushing you too much… I'll try not to do that anymore," Lea replied.

In the next moment Vanitas reached forward and wrapped his arms around Lea. "Thank you though… I know you were just trying to do what you thought was right. But… it's just too hard sometimes to pretend. I don't wanna do it all the time… I won't forget about the memories though like you said. I just don't wanna focus on pretending to have those emotions. I'll do my best to keep my humanity."

Lea smiled as he returned a hug back to Vanitas. "That's good to hear. I'm still sorry that I upset you before…"

"It's fine," Vanitas said as he looked up at Lea. "I think understand why you were trying do all that. Also… even though I may not try to pretend to have emotions much anymore...we can still be brothers… right?"

Lea continued to smile. "Of course we can."

Vanitas then let go of Lea and ran over to Isa, who was still quietly watching the whole conversation. Without any warning Vanitas threw his arms now around Isa, starting him a little.

"I know you like to be rude and said mean things Isa, but you are still my friend and brother too," Vanitas said as he did his best to smile at Isa.

Isa sighed and rolled his eyes, but he didn't make a rude comment like Vanitas and Lea had expected him to. Instead his actual formed a small smile and placed a hand on top of Vanitas's head. He still didn't say anything though, but Vanitas could tell what Isa probably wanted to say.

It was still a hard life to get adjusted to, but Vantias was still thankful that Lea and Isa were his friends. He knew that them being there would make things easier, but he had no idea what was to come in the next few years.

And that ends that chapter. I think I may have at least 1 more chapter or 2 for the Vanitas flashback arc. I gotta see for that on where things go.

This was another long chapter lol, I think I got carried away with it, but I hope you liked it.

But thank you all for reading and I will see you next time!