Disclaimer: I don't own Dissidia or Final Fantasy, they belong to Squareenix. If I did, I wouldn't be poor. WARNING: X-overs start on this page! I repeat; X-overs start on this page! I don't own the anime or game characters crossing over!

There's just a bunch of crack and hilarity in this story. OCS and characters from other series will appear. There will be random character bashing in the story.

"Talking"

"Thoughts"

"SHOUTING"

Chapter 3: Employment and Chaos p2 (Lightning, Cloud, Squall, and Gilgamesh.)

Cloud and Lightning Day 1: On patrol on Highway E-09. Requested as backup in pursuit of suspect, three units available are catching up with the suspect's vehicle.

The criminals were speeding down the highway at two hundred miles an hour: Lightning and Cloud were too, but were pushing three hundred.

Unit one: Cloud's car

"Are you sure she should be driving this fast, Strife?" Asked Akihiko as he was looked worryingly at Lightning's car and the terror on Uindo's face.

"Give him a week or two and he'll just be alright." Replied Cloud as he looked at Lightning's car and Uindo's face.

"You sure?"

"Yep..."

"Ah, okay then. Continue."

Unit two: Lightning's car

"LIGHTNING! Don't you think you should drive a little slower?" Screamed Uindo as he clung to his for dear life.

Lightning, in a police uniform, glared at Uindo before shouting, "BULL$#%! ONLY WUSSIES DRIVE SLOW AT A CASE LIKE THIS!" Lightning was crazily driving at the speed of light, chasing the criminals as they speed on ahead.

"BUT-"

"NO BUTTS, ASSES, BUTTOCKS, TUCKUS'! YA HEAR ME, UINDO!" She screamed as she violently swerved to avoid a black limousine.

"YES MA'AM!" Screamed Uindo as he looked like he was going to piss himself any second.

"GOOD!"

"Lightning! Don't you think we should call back up?"

Again, Lightning glared at Uindo while swerving violently to avoid an eighteen wheeler truck before answering, "WE DON'T NEED THE BACKUP YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

She then took out her gunblade and said, "THIS IS THE ONLY BACKUP WE NEED!"

"That and me!" shouted a certain someone.

A patrol car came up beside Lightning, the window rolled down revealing a man in a police uniform with blonde hair, blue eyes, a stubble beard, and black gloves. Lightning's eyes bulged out to the size of dinner plates as she looked at the man.

"SNOW?"

"Yo, sis!"

"Snow! What the hell are you doing in that car! Only Police officers can drive it!"

"I am with the law, sis!"

"EH?"

"I heard from a little birdy that you became the law and I decided to sign up too!"

"WHO WAS THAT BIRDY YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT!"

"Some guy named Squawk or something like that.."

'Squall! I'm going to kill you once I find you!'

Elsewhere...

Squall was stealthily sneaking through the swamp until he stopped from a safe distance from an abandon looking factory that had beefy men with guns. He then took out a communicator and talked through it.

"HQ, this Silver Lion King sir! I have located enemy HQ! I repeat, I have found enemy HQ!"

"Good work, Silver Lion! Now stay there until backup arrives!"

"No can do, sir! I don't need backup! I got backup right here!" He said, referring to his gunblade.

"Don't forget about me, kid!" Said a man in a black sneaking suit.

"Right, can't forget about you, Snake!"

"Right! We can easily demolish this place!"

"Damn straight!"

"Okay! Let's do this!" They both said simultaneously in a Jecht like way before going off and kicking the guards in the nuts.

Elsewhere,

"Achoo!" Jecht sneezed loudly.

"Are you catching a cold, Jecht?" Tifa asked.

"Nah, but I suddenly got the feeling...that somebody just pathetically impersonated one of my awesome catchphrases." Jecht replied

Silence for a good moment. Then the bar exploded with fury as patrons ran out and tore the city apart in anger and disbelief that someone would dare do that.

"Do they do this a lot?" Asked Laguna.

"Pretty much for the past three hours, I think," Gabranth responded.

They shrugged and ignored the entire bar's rampage.

"I wonder how the others are doing." Tifa said.

"Who knows? It's better for them to doing something than staying in the red of the boredom meter." Said Jecht.

"Speaking of red, I haven't seen Gilgamesh around." Laguna said.

"Yes, I've noticed." Gabranth said.

"Where do you think he is?"

"I don't know, Laguna, I just don't know."

"He's probably either going around causing trouble or chasing some hot girl's ass to 'stick it'." Jecht casually replied.

Silence filled the bar until...

"EVERYONE! TURN ON THE TV! NOW!" Yelled Vaan as he burst through the door with Bartz, Zidane, and Prishe in tow.

"What for?" Asked Gabranth.

"IT'S GILGAMESH!" Zidane responded.

"HE'S IN A WRESTLING MATCH!" Bartz said.

"WHAT!" Everyone exclaimed as Jecht quickly turned on the TV and switched the channel to Wrestling Mania.

"Welcome to Wrestling Mania! Today we have a new challenger who is excited to kick some ass!" The announcer said.

"On this side of the ring! He's big, he's tough, and can send you crying your mama! Our champion, Bully!" The announcer said as a big beefy man came out.

"On this side of the ring! He's big, he's tough, He's mysterious and can pop out of nowhere! The legendary Gilgamesh!" Gilgamesh then steps onto the ring.

"*deleted word* YEAH! I'M HERE NOW, BITCHES!" Gilgamesh said.

"Fighters, get ready!"Both fighters got ready as soon as the announcer said that.

"Ready, annnnnnd, FIGHT!" Bell rings and the fighters get it on.

(Insert very graphic, hilarious and epic wrestling match)

Gabranth: "The violence is starting to become apparent."

Vaan: "Did he just do that! Is that even legal to bring swords?"

Jecht: "I don't think so."

Tifa:"Oh! That's gonna hurt for weeks!"

Gabranth: "The brutality of all this...is it even legal?"

Kefka: "I don't care! All I know is I'm really enjoying this! Wooo hohoho!( AN: Kefka's laugh from FF6)"

Sephiroth: "Same with me."

Jecht: "Where'd you two come from?"

Sephiroth: "None of your business."

Prishe: "HOLY *deleted word*COSMOS! He's tearing the ring apart!"

Laguna: "OH MY-! DID HE JUST DO THAT WITH HIS HAND!"

Bartz: "This isn't a *deleted word*ing wrestling match anymore!"

Zidane: "This is a mother*deleted word*ing war!"

Garland: "Now that is epic..."

Jecht: "When the hell did you get here and why are you dressed like that?"

Garland was wearing a black and white suit with his greatsword and a brand new machine gun that seemed to be from a Mafia movie.

Garland" Don't ask. Trust me, you don't want to know."

Jecht:"..."

Tifa:"..."

Prishe:"..."

Vaan:"..."

Laguna:"..."

Bartz: "He's saying something to you, Jecht!"

Jecht: "What?"

"I, the amazing Gilgamesh, declares this move to you, Jecht!" Gilgamesh jumps high in the air and comes down fast doing awesome poses before putting his foot out. "The Amazingly Awesome Jecht Falcon Kick Mark-12!"

Gilgamesh comes down fast and kicks his opponent in the face so hard, his skull cracked and came out his head.

"Annnnnnd, We have a winner! The Amazing Gilgamesh!" The announcer said as he held up Gilgamesh's arm.

"*deleted word* YEAH! I AM THE KING, BITCHES! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!"

"Well, that was entertaining..." Sephiroth said, a sick grin on his face.

"I agree!" Jecht said, a proud grin on his face.

"Is it because Gilgamesh had name a falcon kick after you?" Bartz asked, pretty skeptical about Jecht's change in attitue.

"Yep!" Jecht replied.

"..." Was the general response.

"Wooo hohoho! That was the best massacre I've seen all day!" Kefka said.

"I think we should ask Gilgamesh to calm down a little." Laguna said, starting to lose his lunch from the match.

"I think so, too." Bartz said.

"Well, what are we waiting for?Let's go!" Vaan said in his 'leading man' voice.

"*Sigh* Vaan, for the last time, you're not the leading man." Tifa said.

"..." Was Vaan's response before he head to the 'emo table' and sulked his troubles away.

"Anyway, Let's go see Gilgamesh!" Laguna said as he walked out of the bar with Bartz, Zidane, Sephiroth, and Prishe behind him.

"There's a 100% chance of chaos happening right?" Tifa asked.

"Yep!" Kefka, Jecht, Gabranth, and Vaan replied.

'This is going to crazy around here...' Tifa thought.

That's all for this chapter! Sorry if it wasn't funny enough. And there will be a slight delay on Terra's, Yuna's, Laguna's and Golbez's job. Keep reviewing!