THE REUNION
Twenty-five years ago, before they had gone their separate ways, while they still rode together with a common goal of achieving amnesty, Heyes and Curry had come up with a contingency plan in the event that they ever did have to part ways. The plan was simple: on the first of June and the first of December of every year, they would meet in the lobby of the Grand Hotel in Denver exactly at noon. If ever one did not show up, they other would continue to come to the Grand Hotel on those dates every year for twenty-one years. They had chosen twenty-one years because the warrants for their arrests called for twenty year prison terms and they figured adding a year would cover any pre-trial jail time.
Today marked twenty-one years since Kid Curry had last been at the Grand Hotel.
Hannibal Heyes sat stiffly in a chair in the Grand Hotel lobby, just as he had done twice a year, every year, for the past twenty-three years. The first two years they had successfully met, caught up on each other's lives, and parted until the next scheduled meeting. The statute of Limitations had run out for Heyes without the promised amnesty ever coming through. He was no longer a wanted man. He could come and go as he pleased, where ever he pleased, when ever he pleased without fear of arrest. The same had not been true for Kid Curry..
Heyes had not seen The Kid in over two decades, and he did not expect to see him today. He had long past assumed Kid was dead, probably killed by a gun whose owner moved ever so slightly faster than Kid, or perhaps even by his own gun, choosing death over prison.
But, as he had done every year, Heyes scrutinized the appearance of every man who came and went through the hotel doors. Kid would be fifty or fifty-one now and Heyes knew that, like himself, Kid's appearance would have changed over the years. But he knew those icy blue eyes would not have changed and Heyes gave particular attention to each man's eyes.
Heyes pulled his pocket watch out and checked the time. It was twelve-ten. If Kid was coming, he was late. But Heyes was prepared to sit in the lobby till midnight, just as he had done on every past rendezvous date for twenty-one years.
"Heyes," a voice said flatly.
The voice came from behind Heyes and startled him. He spun around in his chair and looked up into those blue eyes of his partner, Jed "Kid" Curry.
"Kid!" Heyes whispered as he got up and walked around to stand face to face with his cousin and former partner. Heyes opened his arms to embrace Kid, but Kid shook his head just once and took a step back. Heyes slowly let his arms drop to his sides stunned by the impassive greeting. Creases appeared on Heyes' brow
Those once beautiful blue eyes looked old, tired, and dull and were cast downward, deliberately avoiding any eye contact with Heyes. He had dark circles under his eyes. Kid looked thin, too thin, His clothes hung on him loosely as he was at least forty pounds lighter than Heyes remembered, and the wrinkles on his face aged him well beyond his fifty years. His expression was flat and unemotional. His shoulders looked permanently drooped. And Heyes had yet to see even a hint of that infectious smile he had so longed to see again.
"Hello, Kid," Heyes said cautiously. "It's good to see you, partner."
Looking at Kid, Heyes wanted to ask, he wanted to know. But the man standing in front of him was a stranger now and Heyes understood he was no longer entitled to know anything more than Kid was willing to share.
"I saw a bar across the street. Why don't we go have a beer?" Heyes suggested.
The mention of alcohol did brighten those blue eyes slightly, although to anyone but Heyes, the change would not have been perceived.
As they walked across the street to the Golden Nugget Saloon, Heyes' mind was racing. Should he lead Kid to the bar or to a table, and what a stupid thing to be concerned about. When they were together, they almost always chose the far end of the bar, but a table would give them more privacy.
When they reach the bar, Heyes quickly opened one of the the bat doors and held it for Kid to go in first. But Kid remained two steps behind Heyes band stood still and rigid.
"After you, Kid,"Heyes said, but Kid still didn't move. "Go in," Heyes said firmly.
Slowly, hesitantly, Kid stepped past Heyes and through the door, stopping again, just inside the bar.
Heyes followed and remained a step behind. Kid could chose where they would drink.
"You want the bar or a table?" Heyes asked when Kid made no attempt to move from where he stood.
"Here's an empty table. Sit down here, Kid," Heyes instructed.
Kid sat down in the nearest chair at the empty table near the door, and cast his eyes on the table. The table would not have been Heyes' first choice as anyone coming or going could see them and it provided no privacy for conversation.
"What'll you have?" the waitress asked. Heyes waited for Kid to order but Kid said nothing.
"Beer?" Heyes asked Kid and Kid nodded his head once.
"A pitcher of beer and a bottle of whiskey," Heyes ordered and the waitress disappeared behind the bar.
The ensuing silence was awkward for Heyes. But Kid seemed unpreturbed by the silence. He made no effort at eye contact, seeming determined to keep his eyes downcast. Heyes studied Kid's face and demeanor. Kid felt Heyes' eyes on him but remained completely impassive.
"So, tell me where are you living?" Heyes asked lightly.
Kid shrugged ever so slightly. "I've been staying with Clem and her husband."
"Here in Denver, then?"
Kid nodded.
Heyes forced a smile. "I haven't seen Clem since her wedding, nine or ten years ago."
Kid remained silent. His eyes were fixed on some imaginary spot on the table. Heyes' smile went unseen and it quickly faded.
"I'll be in town for a few days," Heyes said. "Maybe I'll stop by for a visit."
Still nothing from Kid.
The waitress returned with a pitcher of beer that she placed on the table along with two beer mugs. Then she set the bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses down as well.
"Thank you," Heyes said to the waitress with a smile.
Kid didn't look up, didn't reach for a glass , so Heyes poured the beers and slid a mug across the table to Kid. But Kid did not reach for it.
Heyes lifted his mug toward his mouth. "Drink," he instructed Kid.
Only then did Kid's hand slowly reach out to grasp the mug.
"Drink up," Heyes again encouraged Kid and watched as Kid's hand slowly moved toward the mug, slowly grasped the handle, and slowly brought the mug to his mouth. He watched as Kid swallowed a third of the beer in one gulp.
"You'll never guess where I'm living," Heyes said cheerfully. He saw Kid's eyes raise slightly, though not high enough to look at him.
"Porterville," Heyes continued. "I am Senior Financial Officer at the Bank." Heyes forced himself to laugh. "Can you believe that?"
Kid nodded silently.
Heyes filled Kid's beer glass. "Drink up. When we're done with the beer, we'll move on to the whiskey."
Kid lifted his glass and did as Heyes instructed. Heyes watched him intently, noticing that Kid purposely never made eye contact. Heyes gritted his teeth and marched on, determined to crack Kid's wall of self imposed isolation. He poured them each a shot of whiskey. He held the shot glass out to Kid.
"Here, take it," Heyes said and Kid took the shot glass in his hand.
"Drink," Heyes said and Kid downed the shot without flinching at the burn of the whiskey as it passed through his throat to his stomach.
"Kid, look at me," Heyes said after noting that Kid obeyed commands. "Look at me," he said more sternly.
Slowly, timidly, Kid's eyes raised to meet Heyes' eyes. Heyes was shocked by the defeat, the submission he saw in Kid's eyes. His stomach knotted at the thought of Kid's life the past twenty years, certain now that those twenty years had been spent in a prison. A prison that had not been kind to him. A prison that had been mercilessly brutal to him. A prison that had broken Kid Curry.
"Kid, let's go back to Clem's now... Be in a better atmosphere, Heyes said"
Kid didn't move so Heyes corked the bottle of whiskey, stood up and tossed some money on the table. Then he picked up the whiskey bottle. "Come on, we're leaving," he said and walked toward the door. Kid stood and followed him.
They walked across the street to the hotel where Heyes picked up his horse. "Want to ride?" he asked but Kid shook his head.
"Then we'll walk." Heyes said.
They walked fourteen blocks in silence, Kid always a step or two behind Heyes, never beside him. Heyes pretended not to notice. He relied on his silver tongue to pass the time and rambled on about the weather, memories of Clem and of Kid, of the shape of the clouds above them. Anything to engage Kid. But Kid just walked in silence.
When they reached Clem's house she was sitting on the porch. She smiled brightly as the approached but Heyes could see the enormous relief on Clem's face.
"I was hoping Kid would convince you to come, Heyes," Clem said as Heyes tethered his horse and the two men ascended the porch. She walked over to Heyes and wrapped her arms around him tightly, desperately. After a long time, she released her hold. She rubbed her hand in a circular motion across Kid's back and Heyes wondered why Kid had not pulled away from Clem's touch..
"Come, both of you, sit," she said and motioned to the chairs on the porch.
"Kid tells me he's staying with you for a while?" Heyes said lightly, his dark eyes locking with Clem's.
"Yes, he is," Clem said. "He just knocked on the door about a month ago. You know the two of you are always welcome in our home."
Heyes nodded, his dark eyes looking directly into Clem's and letting her know he had no intention of abandoning her. Clem smiled thankfully, her eyes moist.
"Kid, you look tired. Why don't you go lie down for a while. I'll wake you when I have lunch ready," Clem said.
Kid didn't move,
"Go to your room and lie down," Heyes instructed, leaving no room for option.
Kid stood and walked into the house. They waited till they heard the bedroom door shut. Heyes got up and moved to the chair beside Clem. Clem began to cry and Heyes wrapped an arm around her. Her chin quivered when she spoke.
"I don't know what to do, Heyes. I've never seen him, I never seen anybody like this. He's like this empty human shell. He can't even decide what clothes to put on every morning. I have to lay them out and tell him to get dressed. I have to tell him to get undressed every night. I have to tell him to pee every morning. He doesn't do one thing of his own volition," Clem said sobbing.
"I know. He barely spoke six words to me. He only looked at me if I told him to look at me. We stopped for a beer. He wouldn't drink unless I told him to drink."
"We've both known men who have come out of prison. No one that I know has ever come out like this. I'm so scared, so worried."
Heyes rubbed Clem's shoulder. "Me too," he said.
"What do we do?"
"I don't know yet."
"You will stay here, not at the hotel, won't you?"
"Of course. I won't leave until he's healed or you and Mark kick me out."
Clem tried to smile. "Mark's been wonderful," Clem said, trying to control her breathing "So patient with Kid and me. He understands what Kid and you mean to me."
"I look forward to getting to know him," Heyes said, giving Clem a consoling hug.
"What could they possibly have done to him in there?" Clem's crying began all over again.
Heyes sighed. "I doubt either one of us will ever know everything."
"I hate that place. I hate it!"
Suddenly a very disconcerting thought sprung to Heyes' mind.
"Clem, does Kid have a gun?" he asked with trepidation.
Clem nodded. "But I made him give it to me. It's locked away."
"Thank you. That's the best thing you could have done."
"Do you think he would do that?"
"I would if I were in his boots... I don't understand how this happened without any of us knowing. I mean the arrest of Kid Curry should have made headlines all across the west, but there was nothing. As a sheriff, wouldn't Lom have been informed? But if he was, I know he would have told me."
Clem didn't reply. She could think of no explanation.
"Clem, has he told you anything about what happened? How he was caught, or where? What prison he was in? Anything?"
Clem shook her head. "Not a word. All these years I just thought..."
"Me too. Unfortunately, it turns out we may have been right. In a manner of speaking Kid is dead. So now we have to find a way to resurrect him."
"There's a psychiatric hospital here in Denver..."
Heyes shook his head. "I don't think being locked up in another institution would help him. But perhaps you and I could make an appointment with one of the doctors. He may be able to help us to know what to do."
Clem nodded eagerly, grasping at the straw..
Heyes smiled. "Let me help you make lunch."
When lunch was ready, Heyes knocked on Kid's door. Receiving no reply, Heyes opened the door and went inside. Kid was asleep on the bed. His back faced the wall and his knees were drawn up almost to his waist
Heyes walked over and gently shook Kid's shoulder.
"Kid," he said
Kid's eyes flew open, wild with rage. "No!" he shouted and smashed his foot into Heyes' stomach, sending Heyes stumbling backward across the room and slamming his back against the wall. Stunned, Heyes slowly slumped to the floor.
Kid sat on the edge of the bed, panting heavily. "Don't touch me," Kid shouted, his voice thick with rage.
Heyes struggled to gain composure. He looked at Kid who shot a very darting but threatening glance in his direction and Heyes saw an instant of pure, raw hatred in Kid's eyes. Heyes felt the hair on the back of his neck bristle.
Hearing the noises coming from Kid's room, Clem ran to Kid's doorway and gasped. She looked at Heyes and then at Kid. "What just happened?"
Heyes smiled ever so slightly as he slowly pulled himself to his feet, defensively keeping his eyes of Kid. I"m not quite sure... but I think I just saw a good thing."
"A good thing? It looks like he just threw you across the room! He hasn't been violent before. What if he did that to Mark... or me?"
Heyes continued to study Kid who sat on the edge of the bed with his hands folded in his lap, eyes again dull and downcast. His mind having already retreated back into his own dark place.
"From what I've seen, I don't think he would ever be violent with you, Clem, perhaps not with any woman. He let you rub his back out on the porch. But the two times I have tried, he has either pulled away, or shoved me away. I don't think women threaten him. I think it's only men."
"But why, Heyes?"
"There weren't any women in prison, only men. Whatever happened, he only connects to men, I think."
"Well , lunch is ready. Both of you, come in the kitchen."
Heyes walked to the door, but Kid didn't move.
"Kid, come in the kitchen, now," Clem said and turned away to head for the kitchen.
Kid stood and followed her.
Heyes stood in the doorway of the kitchen while Clem and Kid filed past him. He entered the kitchen after Clem and Kid were already seated.
Clem had fixed Kid a plate and placed it in front of him, but Kid didn't so much as pick up his fork.
"Eat, damn it," Clem said sternly.
Kid picked up his fork and shoveled food into his mouth, bite after bite, often before swallowing the previous bite.
Heyes watched Kid attack the food, his own mouth open in amazement. Heyes looked at Clem who shrugged. "This is how he always does it," she explained.
"Possessive. Like he has to devour it before it's taken from him," Heyes observed out loud. "Clem, when do you expect Mark to be home?" Heyes asked.
"In an hour or so."
"Can he manage Kid if we go out?"
Clem nodded. "Why? Where are we going?"
"I think we should see about that appointment. The sooner, the better."
Heyes and Clem entered the Psychiatric Hospital and approached the receptionist. Heyes explained that they were hoping to schedule an appointment with one of the psychiatrists. The receptionist looked though the schedule book.
"You're in luck. Dr. Thompson has an opening in an hour."
Heyes smiled. "And where is his office located?"
"Second floor. Room 216."
"Thank you," Heyes said and headed for the stairs. Clem followed closely behind.
In some ways Dr. Thompson looked a bit like Kid. Blonde hair, though not nearly as curly. Thin build, though not emaciated like Kid. An infectious smile. He reminded Heyes of The Kid from their outlaw days.
"Dr. Thompson," Heyes said, extending his hand. "My name is Hannibal Heyes, and this Is Clemintine Fowler."
The doctor shook Heyes' hand. "Not the Hannibal Heyes?"
"The one and only," Clem said
"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Heyes. I would love to delve into your psyche sometime... Or, is that why you're here?"
Heyes laughed. "No Doctor. Everything about me is pretty explainable," he replied.
"Well, what can I do for you?"
"You're familiar with my name. Are you familiar with the name Kid Curry?"
"Of course. Mr. Curry is the reason you're here?"
"Yes," Clem said. "We're very concerned about him.'
"Tell me what your concerns are," Dr. Thompson said as he pulled a pad of paper and a pencil from his desk drawer.
Heyes and Clem spent the next fifteen minutes explaining their situation. They left no holes barred., including the incident before lunch.
"I see," Dr. Thompson said when they had finished. "Let me start off by saying I think Mr. Curry would greatly benefit by being hospitalized."
Both Heyes and Clem shook their heads.
"He's been locked inside an institution for twenty years. We won't put him into another one," Heyes explained.
"Has he told you he was in prison?"
Heyes shook his head. "He won't tell us anything. "I'm just putting two and two together to make four."
"While I don't agree with your thinking regarding hospitalization, Mr. Heyes, I do understand it... I've treated many former prisoners, although Mr. Curry's condition does sound extreme, even for former prisoners. Our prison system is based on negative reinforcement, break a rule, suffer the consequences, often physical and brutal consequences. Over a period of time, with increasingly harsh punishments, a prisoner is broken into submission, much like breaking a wild horse.."
"If you break a wild horse into submission, then set it free, it will eventually return to its wild nature again," Heyes said. "Is that also true of men?"
"That essentially, will be your goal with Mr. Curry, breaking those bonds of submission, setting him free so to speak. Prisons control inmates through negative reinforcement, punish undesirable behavior. Try to never do that. Be very diligent about that. Try to simply ignore any bad behavior so as to send the message to him that he can choose how he responds to situations, to people, to his environment. Resort to negative reinforcement, and by that I mean physical restraint, verbal reprimand, any type of punishment for a behavior or reaction, only if he is putting himself or someone else in physical danger."
"What do we do instead?" Heyes asked.
"Positive reinforcement. Reward good, appropriate behavior."
"How?" Clem asked.
"Many ways, verbal praise. Tell him what he did was good, tell him your are proud of him for some positive behavior, if you love him, tell him that. Physical rewards . Give him permission to do things you know he has enjoyed in the past. Always, and I mean always, give him permission to make eye contact and to speak. Those are the first two things prisons take from the inmates and in so doing, they they rob a person of their dignity. He's likely grown quite accustomed to it. Reward him with things he particularly likes, food perhaps."
"Or candy? Kid always loved hard candies. Biggest sweet tooth I've ever seen" Clem said
Dr. Thompson nodded. "Given his notoriety, I suspect prison was especially difficult. He likely suffered the wrath of both inmates and guards. Reward him with things he values.""
"The only thing he seems to value right now is privacy," Clem said
"Then make privacy work for you. Start with a few minutes and work your way to longer stretches of time."
"Doctor, since you are familiar with Heyes and Curry, you must know that Kid was the fastest draw you've ever seen. He likes shooting practice. But in his current state of mind, Mrs. Fowler locked his gun away. Would shooting practice be a positive reward?" Heyes asked
"You were wise to lock the gun away from him. I would not begin with that as a reward. As he improves, that may become an appropriate reward. But. Of course, I would always use blanks."
"We should sit down tonight and make a list of all the things we could use as a positive reward," Clem said to Heyes.
"That is a very good idea. Vary the rewards. "
"Anything else we should do, doctor?" Heyes asked.
"Never invade his safety zone unless you have his permission to do so." He must feel he has an area of safety or he'll try to retreat even further into himself. For most people, that safety area is about arm's length from the body. It sounds like he is depressed rather than psychotic. You could also try exercise, ice cold baths if he's willing, though few people are, and horseback riding are all current medical recommendations for severe depression. There are no medications available to treat depression. There are other therapies available that we can discuss at a later time if necessary...
"Well, thank you, doctor. You've been quite enlightening." Heyes said.
Mr Heyes, when I was a boy, I was quite intrigued with the Devil's Hole gang, particularly you and Mr. Curry... I was once on a train with my father that was robbed by the Devil's Hole gang. You fellows took the entire safe with you...I was very impressed by how polite the two of you were toward the passengers. I am still very impressed that neither of you ever shot anyone during any of your robberies. I find that both admirable and very unusual for outlaws...If Mr. Curry is residing in Denver, I would be willing to work with him in his home environment. Perhaps see him once or twice a week to begin with. It sounds very much like this is not a task the two of you can accomplish alone."
"You would do that for him? For us?" Clem asked. "He can't pay you. He has no money."
"I would be honored. Leave the address with the receptionist. I'll stop by tomorrow, late afternoon on my way home."
Heyes' smile was one of genuine gratitude. He stood and shook the doctor's hand and thanked him repeatedly.
They left Clem's address with the receptionist and started for home, making one stop at a candy store where they spent almost two dollars on an assortment of hard candies and chocolates.
When they reached home, Mark and the Kid were sitting on the front porch, each holding a glass of beer. Clem gave Mark a quick kiss and told Heyes to sit down and she would bring him a beer. She carried the bag of candy inside and placed it in the cupboard.
"Good meeting?" Mark asked
"Very informative," Heyes replied. "Very encouraging. I'm sure Clem can tell you all about it later."
"That's good to hear." Mark said.
"How have you and the Kid been getting along?"
"Very... quietly... uneventful," Mark replied.
Clem brought out a pitcher of beer, handed Heyes a glass, and filled or refilled all the glasses. She set the pitcher on the table and leaned against the porch rail so she was facing the three men in her life.
"Heyes, why don't you and Kid tell Mark about Santa Marta," Clem suggested.
Heyes looked at Clem with some surprise but she nodded and darted her eyes in Kid's direction.
"You remember our trip to Santa Marta with Clem,Kid?" Heyes asked but didn't expect a reply. "Anyway, Kid and Clem posed as a married couple,"
"Only in public," Clem assured Mark.
"It wasn't successful for even a day, because as soon as we got off the stage, Clem set her sites on the aldante. Kid and Clem were supposed to be on their honeymoon and Clem's off flirting with the locals.."
"He exaggerates," Clem again assured Mark.
"Well, as most of our stories go, we ended up in jail. Did I tell that right, Kid?" Heyes asked.
Kid didn't respond.
"Drink your beer, Kid," Mark said.
Kid took his last gulp of beer. Clem picked up the pitcher and filled his glass.
"What was your favorite outlaw adventure?" Clem asked.
"Oh, that's a tough one, Clem. I think most all of them had some merit. You got a favorites, Kid?"
Kid's eyes began to blink, then he squeezed them shut, then opened them and blinked several times again. He jerked his head slightly as though to brush away cobwebs in his mind. "Porterville," he whispered.
Heyes and Clem exchanged excited glances.
Kid mentally retreated
"Mind if I tell that story?" Heyes asked, and was met by what had become an expected silence.
"As we were outrunning a posse, we decided the time had come to get out of the outlawing business. So we rode to Porterville. The sheriff there was a former outlaw and a friend of ours. Lom Trevers. Kid and me convinced Lom to petition the governor for amnesty for us. That was the beginning of a long and fruitless endeavor."
Well, I'd better go in and start supper. Mark, would you help me?
Mark gave Clem a grateful look and followed her into the house.
Heyes moved over to the seat beside Kid. "Surprising Lom that night was quite entertaining, Kid," Heyes said.
"Heyes,"
Heyes' eyes widened. He tried to stay calm.
"Kid, you can look at me when you talk?"
Kid's eyes slowly raised until concerned brown eyes met timid blue ones. "I'm sorry I'm causing you so much trouble. I know you're only trying to help... But you can't."
Heyes wasn't sure what to say, how to keep Kid lucid and in the moment.
"It's no trouble, Kid. We're family. We're there for each other. We're going to help you find Jed Curry again. I know he is there inside you somewhere."
Kid slowly shook his head as the moment vanished and he again retreated back into himself.
"Mark! Can you come out here!" Heyes shouted through the screen door.
Mark appeared at the door.
"I need to go in for just a minute,"
Mark nodded and stepped back out to the porch.
"Drink your beer, Kid," Heyes said as he went inside and told Clem what had just happened.
"He's done that a couple of times. Throws you for a loop, doesn't it?"
"No, it doesn't," Heyes said excitedly. "It tells me he's really is in there somewhere. And it tells me he wants out!"
"I hope so."
"Anytime he does that, try to push it a little bit. Try to make it last a little longer and a little longer,"
"I will. But like I said, it's only happened a couple of times in the month he has been here. Maybe we should reward him."
Heyes sighed. "You're right. Where's the candy?.
Clem pulled the bag from the cupboard and Heyes scrounged around in the bag for a peppermint. "His favorite," Heyes said with a smile.
Heyes rushed back out to the porch and motioned to Mark to go back inside. He sat down beside Kid again.
"Kid, that was good of you to speak your mind and to look at me when you talked. I want you to have this," Heyes said and opened his hand to reveal the peppermint. "Go ahead, take it. Eat it. Enjoy it," Heyes coaxed.
Kid picked up the candy and slowly put it in his mouth. Heyes saw the smallest hint of a smile on Kid's face as he savored the flavor of the peppermint, his first piece of candy in twenty years.
"Peppermints were always your favorite candy," Heyes said triumphantly.
Clem and Heyes had pre-planned for Dr. Thompson's visit. Clem and Kid sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Heyes sat on the porch awaiting the doctor's arrival.
"Dr. Thompson," Heyes greeted him as he walked up the steps. "Please have a seat. Kid is inside with Clem. We'll join them in a minute. First I want to tell you something that happened yesterday afternoon." Heyes related Kid's moment of lucidity.
"That's encouraging and not very common. And you are right, it does suggest that he wants to feel whole again." Dr. Thompson said. "Did you reward him?"
Heyes smiled. "A peppermint, his favorite. I keep some in my pocket now so they are always handy"
Dr. Thompson smiled. "He is lucky to have the two of you"
"What's your first name?" Heyes asked.
"Miles."
"I thought I'd introduce you by your name, not title. I don't want to scare him off."
"I understand. But you should be honest with him. He can't learn to trust you again if you are not honest with him."
Heyes smiled. "Ready to meet the infamous Kid Curry?" he said and led the doctor into the kitchen.
"Clem, Kid, this is a friend of mine, Miles Thompson. Miles, this is Clem Fowler and Jedediah Curry. Most folks call him Kid. Miles is a psychiatrist,Kid. We thought he might be able to help."
"It's a pleasure to meet you both," Dr. Thompson said.
"Would you like some coffee?" Clem asked.
"That would be nice. Thank you."
"Miles says he remembers you and me when he was a boy. Says he was on a train we robbed," Heyes explained to Kid. Remember the one that we took the whole safe? He was on that train."
"I understand you are the fastest gun in the west. Is that true, Mr. Curry?
Kid did not respond.
"Kid, Miles asked you a question. Answer him," Heyes instructed.
"No, Sir," Kid said quietly
Miles caught Heyes' eyes. He glanced at Heyes' pocket and then at Kid
Heyes reached in his pocket and pulled out a peppermint. "That was good of you to answer the doctor, Kid. Here," he said and placed the peppermint in Kid's hand. "It's okay. Go ahead and eat it."
Kid slowly put the peppermint in his mouth. The sugary sweetness tasted good. He worked the candy around in his mouth, savoring every bit of flavor until the last bit melted in his mouth. But his expression never changed.
Heyes sat down at the table beside Kid.
Kid, Miles specializes in cases like yours. He's offered to help. I want you to look at him when you talk to him."
"You can talk to me Mr. Curry, with no fear of reprisal, no fear of judgment."
"Kid, will you let him help you?"
Kid lowered his head until his chin was on his chest.
"Do you want to say something?" Heyes asked. "You can say something if you want to."
"I don't want to live... not like this" Kid said, his words barely audible.
Heyes' chin began to quiver. "Then let Dr. Thompson help you," Heyes said.
Ever so slightly, Kid nodded.
Miles looked at Heyes and Clem. "I'd like to talk with Mr. Curry alone."
"How long will you be?"
"No more than an hour."
"Come on Heyes. I have an errand to run. You come with me."
When they had left, Dr. Thompson turned his attention to Kid.
"Mr. Curry, helping you depends on your cooperation. I would like you to answer any question I ask. Sometimes, the answer can be 'I'm not ready,' or 'I don't want to talk about that.' But if you are able to talk about something, I want you to do so. Do you understand?"
Kid nodded.
"I would prefer that you actually speak your answers, but again, if you must nod or shake your head, then please do so. I want you to look at me whenever you feel you are able to do that. It's important to look at people when you speak to them. Will you try to do that?"
"Alright," Kid said and with great effort Kid raised his eyes slightly though not enough to actually make eye contact
That was a good attempt, Mr. Curry. Keep doing that. Eventually you'll feel more comfortable looking at people." Dr. Thompson explained.
Kid nodded his understanding.
"What we say , what you and I talk about, is confidential. What you tell me is confidential. I will not share that even with Mr. Heyes. That being said, if, during any of our conversations I feel there are safety issues to be addressed, if I believe there is a reason to suspect you might hurt yourself or someone else, I will notify Mr. Hayes of any safety recommendations I might have. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
Dr. Thompson began his interview. There were often long pauses between questions and answers as Kid tried to cooperate.
"How long were you in prison?"
Kid's voice remained very low, very soft. "twenty years."
"Where?"
"Wyoming... State Prison."
Dr. Thompson swallowed hard. Wyoming State had a reputation for torturous treatment of prisoners.
"In that time, were you able to find anyone there that you felt you could trust?"
"... No."
"Did you try to maintain any contact with Hannibal?"
Kid's chin quivered. He felt very uncomfortable but forced himself to nod. "I tried.."
"And?"
"He never answered."
"Ever?"
Kid shook his head.
"It is not uncommon for prisons to read incoming and outgoing mail. Perhaps your letters never got sent. Perhaps his replies never reached you"
Kid's chin quivered incessantly. He took deep, almost gasping breaths."
"Were you angry at Hannibal for not answering your letters?"
Kid didn't respond
"Kid, were you angry at Hannibal?"
Kid shook his head.
How did you feel?"
Kid forced himself to look at the doctor, but only for a moment. "Hurt."
"Have you told him about this?"
Kid shook his head again.
"Will you agree to talk to him about that tonight?"
Kid shook his head.
"Why won't you talk to him about it?"
"If it was on ...purpose,... I don't want to know."
"When you feel you can accept his answer, whatever that may be, I want you to talk to him about that. Will you do that?
"If I can," Kid whispered.
"Just one more question today. Based on what you said earlier, that you don't want to live like this,. Are you currently suicidal, Mr. Curry?"
Kid stared at the table for a very long time. His fingers twisted and pulled nervously. Finally he raised his eyes slightly. And looked at the doctor.
"I don't know," he whispered.
"That's a safety issue that I need to let Mr. Heyes know about. Do you understand?"
Kid nodded. He struggled to keep his breathing even.
"Do I have your permission to tell Mr. Heyes."
Kid's nod was almost imperceptible.
Miles stayed with Kid until Clem and Heyes returned. Heyes walked Miles out to his horse.
"I can't tell you things that he tells me. I respect patient confidentiality. It builds a trust between doctor and patient. However, he is aware that if I think you should initiate any safety measures, I will inform you of that."
"And?" Heyes asked.
"Do not leave him alone for even a minute."
Heyes felt his entire body weaken but he nodded his understanding.
"You think he'll try to kill himself, don't you?" Heyes asked.
"I don't think he wants to at this point. But I think he's capable."
Heyes sighed heavily. You know, in the condition Kid is in. I wonder how he ever managed to get himself from prison to here."
"Mr Heyes, you would be surprised what a man can do when he's desperate. You and Mrs. Fowler are the two people that he feels safe with. I think he did everything in his power to get to this safe haven. It's quite a remarkable feat on his part. In doing that, he took the first step towardbhis recovery. And he did it all on his own."
Heyes smiled. "In his own way, Kid has always been pretty remarkable. He's had a lot of bad things thrown at him in his life. His whole family, both our families, were murdered in the Border Wars. Kid and me found them. Kid was ten. I was thirteen. Kid and me were on our own ever since.. together, until he disappeared twenty years ago."
"Mr. Heyes, this is going to be a very long and difficult road. Despite how he appears right now, I think Mr. Curry is up for the challenge.."
Heyes sighed. "I hope your right,"
"I'll be back tomorrow, about the same time of day."
"Thank you, doctor."
Heyes stood and watched the doctor leave. When Heyes returned to the house, he announced he was moving his bed into Kid's room."
The next morning, Heyes sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee with Clem. Having slept in Kid's room the previous night, Heyes had come to two realizations. The first was that Kid suffered horrible night terrors that had him thrashing about in his bed and often uttering snippets of insight into the life he endured in prison. The second was that he, Hannibal Heyes, would soon be accustomed to sleepless nights.
"I didn't dare try to wake him. The last time I did that, he threw me across the room," Heyes told Clem. "I'll talk to Dr. Thompson about how to safely deal with that. One minute he was snarling aggressive threats, the next minute he was begging, literally begging not to be subjected to...something."
"How awful," Clem replied. "Do you think it's safe for you to be alone with him all night?"
Heyes shook his head. "I don't know, but I can't leave him alone"
"Maybe he should be in the hospital, Heyes," Clem suggested.
Heyes shook his head. "The patients in a mental hospital are locked in there. They can't just up and walk out. The last thing Kid needs is to be confined like that again. I won't do that to him," Heyes said adamantly. "Clem if you ever don't feel safe... If you ever want Kid and me to move out, just say so. But I can't, I won't leave him."
Heyes took a sip of his coffee before speaking again.
"Clem, why didn't you tell me a month ago that Kid was here?"
"He wouldn't let me. He insisted you not know until the two of you met at the hotel. I don't know why, but that was really important to him."
"We made a pact more than twenty years ago. I've been at that hotel twice a year, every year, for twenty-three years. Apparently keeping his end of the commitment was important to him. Something he hung on to...Something he wanted to prove he could do I just can't imagine why he never contacted me for all those years he was in prison. Why he just cut me out."
"Well, look at him. Look at how much he's changed. He's not that same person he was twenty years ago. Maybe he just wanted you to always think of him like he was, not like he is. Maybe he knew there was no way you could help him. Maybe he wanted to spare you the worry."
Heyes didn't argue with her, but he was convinced it was some other reason. Maybe something out of Kid's control."
Kid woke around nine a.m. feeling exhausted. But he pulled on his pants and slipped into a shirt without being told to do so. Then he followed the aroma of freshly brewed coffee into the kitchen.
"Did you sleep well, Kid?" Heyes asked as Kid slid into a chair.
Kid shook his head and rubbed his eyes.
Clem handed Kid a cup of coffee.
"Kid, I'm going to rent you a horse today. My horse needs some exercise, so I thought you and I could go for a ride this afternoon, up into the mountains a bit, breathe in the fresh mountain air, take in those panoramic views you've always loved so much. Maybe just laze around in some field and watch the clouds roll by. You up to it?"
Kid hadn't been on a horse in twenty years and he wasn't the thick, sturdy, muscular man he had been back then. But on the other hand, he had always relished the freedom and solitude the mountains had always provided him."
"Alright," he said, forcing himself to speak as Dr. Thompson had instructed him.
"That's good of you yo answer me without waiting for permission. Here, have a peppermint.
Kid took the peppermint and put it in his mouth.
"Thanks," he said
Clem smiled brightly, thinking of her own freedom the afternoon would provide her. It would be the first time in a month that she actually had time to herself. She thought longingly of a long, leisurely bath. Her next thought was of Mark.
Heyes and Kid picked up the horses at noon. They had to be back at the house by four as Dr. Thompson was due for a visit.
Heyes climbed on his horse and waited as Kid slipped his left foot in the stirrup and with some effort, hoisted himself into the saddle. He adjusted his feet in the stirrups and picked up the reins and slipped them through his fingers. Heyes watched as Kid accustomed himself to the horse. He saw Kid's eyes soften, his body relax.
For the first time, Heyes saw Kid smile.
"Ready?" Heyes asked.
"Ready," Kid replied.
They pulled on their reins and headed into the countryside. They rode leisurely, occasionally breaking into a cantor to forge an incline. For the first time in twenty years, Kid felt relaxed. They had ridden, mostly in silence, for over an hour when they came to an open field.
"Let's stop here and give the horses a rest," Heyes suggested.
They climbed down and the horses immediately began to graze. Heyes found a spot to sit and Kid followed. Heyes picked up two pieces of dried wild grass and handed one to Kid. Heyes laid down on his back. Kid propped himself on one elbow. They chewed on the grass and looked at the clouds.
"Can I ask you something, Kid?"
Kid closed his eyes, wishing Heyes wouldn't spoil the moment, but knowing it was inevitable.
"What?" he replied.
"Why didn't you ever let me know where you were?"
Kid sat up. "What!"
Startled by the emotion in Kid's voice, Heyes looked over at him and knew immediately that Kid was dumbfounded by the question. Heyes sat up.
"Look at me, Kid. Look into my eyes."
Heyes watched as Kid nervously raised his eyes to meet Heyes's eyes.
"Don't turn away. Watch my eyes," Heyes instructed. "Why didn't you write? I could have tried to help," Heyes said softly.
Kid felt intimidated but he held Heyes' gaze just as Heyes had instructed. Kid's body stiffened as he prepared himself for the inevitable punishment for looking directly at someone of authority. "I did write, over and over," Kid said. "When you didn't answer, I gave up."
Heyes kept his eyes locked on Kid's. "I never got a single letter, Kid," Heyes replied, feeling suddenly helpless. "Not one."
It was Kid who broke the gaze when he realized it was just one more bit of control the prison had stolen from him." He stared off into the distant mountains. Heyes saw Kid's body shiver.
Heyes reached our to touch Kid's arm, but Kid pulled away defensively.
"Don't touch me," Kid said, in a voice sounding like more of a plea than a threat. "I don't like to be touched," he explained.
Heyes withdrew his arm and sighed mournfully. "I'm sorry, Kid...I would have been there for you... I swear. I just didn't know"
Kid's mind was reeling. Dr. Thompson had been right. Kid didn't think his hate for the warden could get any stronger, but at that moment it did.
"If I tell you something, Heyes, it stays between us?" Kid asked, still looking off into the distant mountains.
Heyes was astounded that Kid was willing to reveal something to him.'
"Yes, Kid. Between us. I promise."
Kid's voice was low and without inflection. He continued staring out into the mountains. "I am going to kill him."
Very slowly Kid''s head turned and looked directly into Heyes' eyes. Heyes was startled by the determination he saw in those blue eyes. Heyes held the gaze, his own eyes reflecting deep compassion.
Heyes made no attempt to dissuade Kid. He knew any attempt would be pointless now. Maybe later, when Kid was better, he would try. Then again, maybe he wouldn't.
"Let's go home, Kid," Heyes said gently.
Two hours later they saw Dr. Thompson and Clem sitting on the porch waiting for them. He smiled. "Mrs. Fowler says you two went for a ride."
Heyes smiled. "Once a cowboy. always a cowboy,"
"Shouldn't the word be outlaw?" Clem asked jokingly.
"Maybe that, too," Heyes replied.
Kid was exhausted, physically and emotionally and he did not relish another session with Dr. Thompson, But he climbed the stairs and sat dutifully in a chair next to the doctor.
"I'll go make some lemonade or something," Clem said.
"I'll help you, Clem," Heyes said and followed Clem into the house.
Dr. Thompson noticed the fatigue in Kid's face.
"You look tired," the doctor said.
Kid nodded. He decided the best thing to do was to appease the doctor, get the visit over with, and go to bed.
"I talked to Heyes about the letters."
"Already? What did he say?"
"He never got them."
"Do you forgive him?"
"Forgive him?" Kid asked
Dr. Thompson nodded.
"Nothing to forgive. Can't hold him accountable for something he didn't know about."
"So who do you hold accountable?"
Kid was quiet for a moment. "Warden," he said.
"Mr. Curry, what you're saying shows very sound deduction. That's very encouraging. The fact that you are also actually saying it out loud is also very encouraging."
"Dr. Thompson, I've never been much of a talker. Heyes is the one with the silver tongue. From me, this is about as good as it's gonna get."
The doctor nodded his understanding. "I see," he said
"And one more thing... I ain't depressed."
"Then what are you?"
" Angry mostly, humiliated, scared, vengeful."
Dr. Thompson was astounded by the insight Kid was expressing. "Then we will focus on each one of those things."
Kid nodded. "But not today. Today I am just plain exhausted. I want to sleep."
"We'll keep this visit short, then. Are you sleeping at night?"
Kid was quiet for a while. "Every minute of every day... Every minute of every night... my brain is reliving everything that happened... Every day I am exhausted. Every morning when I I wake up, I'm exhausted … What I do could never be called sleep."
"I can prescribe something to help you get a more restful sleep. I can see how dedicated you are to learning to cope with this horrible experience. I suggest you take my recommendation. I believe it will help you immensely."
Dr. Thompson reached into his bag and pulled out the bottle of pills he had brought on the chance that Kid would accept his suggestion.
"One pill a night. No more, Mr. Curry," he said and handed Kid the bottle. Kid slipped it into his shirt pocket
"I understand," Kid replied.
Dr. Thompson stood. "I think you are making amazingly good progress, Mr. Curry It's obvious that you want to fight your way back to being whole again. Your determination is amazing, I'll be back on Tuesday.
"Doc, you can call me Kid... I'm fifty years old and people still call me Kid."
"How did you get that nickname?" Dr. Thompson asked.
"Heyes and I grew up together. He just started calling me that one day and it stuck."
How old were you?"
Kid shrugged. "Four, maybe five."
"Have the two of you been together all your lives?"
"Except the last twenty years... We're cousins... Been on our own since I was ten, he was thirteen."
"How did you come to be on your own at that young of an age?" Dr. Thompson pressed.
Kid was silent and his eyes grew distant.
"Dr. Thompson, I think we've come to one of those things I don't want to talk about."
"I understand... But if you are ever ready to, it may be important."
Kid didn't respond.
Dr. Thompson stood from his chair. "I'll see you Tuesday, Kid."
Kid nodded as Dr. Thompson left.
Kid fell asleep in the porch chair. When it was time for supper, Heyes walked out on the porch and slammed the front door several times to wake him. They ate supper and Kid helped Clem clean the table.
"If I haven't told you. Clem... Thank you for all you're doing, giving me a place to stay, and all. Mark must be a good fit for you, putting up with me and all."
Clem smiled. "Kid, I've told you and Heyes a million times, you are always welcome in my home." She reached over and touched his arm just as Heyes was bringing his coffee cup into the kitchen. Heyes stopped and watched. Kid didn't pull away. In fact he smiled at her. Heyes was perplexed. Why did Kid not pull away from a woman's touch but reacted aggressively to a man's touch? That's when it hit Heyes, the realization of what must have happened to Kid in prison.. He suddenly had a very sick feeling in his stomach and he knew why Kid planned to kill the warden. Heyes felt overwhelmed by the guilt of not having been able to watch Kid's back as Kid had done so many times for him in their younger days.
Heyes cleared his throat to announce his presence. He put his coffee cup in the sink.
"Well, I think I'll take in a little night air before bed. Anyone care to join me?" Heyes asked.
Neither took him up on his offer. Clem had dishes to wash and Kid wanted to go to bed. Heyes was relieved. He wanted some time alone to recover from this newest realization.
When Heyes did go into their bedroom, Kid was lying on his back in his bed, rolling the pill bottle back and forth between his fingers.
"What's that?" Heyes asked.
"Sleeping pills."
"The doctor give them to you?"
"Yea. You may have noticed I don't sleep too well."
"You do toss around a lot,"
"Think I ought to try one?"
"What did the doctor say?"
"He thinks it will help."
"Then if I were you, I'd try one."
Kid pulled the cork and pulled a pill out of the bottle. He replaced the cork and put the bottle on the night stand. He rolled the pill around between his fingers. "Well, here goes," he said and popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed it dry.
"Doc says I'm already making some progress,"
"I would have to agree with him," Heyes replied.
"Me too."
Kid, Can I ask you something?"
Kid sighed. "What?"
"Why is it Clem can touch you without your pulling away?"
Kid was silent for a long time. "Clem It just...feels natural... Heyes... I'm sorry, I just can't..."
"It's alright, Kid. I was just wondering.."
Heyes watched Kid roll over onto his side with his back to the wall. He quickly pulled the blanket up to his chin and pulled his knees toward his waist and closed his eyes."
Heyes watched Kid another minute. He felt sick..
Heyes had stripped to his long johns and crawled into bed. "Good night, Kid," he said as he turned out the light.
He got no reply.
Within half an hour Kid was asleep. Heyes on the other hand was not. He couldn't let go of what he believed tormented his cousin. He felt anger brewing in himself and knew Kid's anger had to be a hundred times worse. It was Heyes that tossed all night. Kid barely stirred except to change position in his sleep. At dawn, Heyes got up and dressed and went out to make coffee. He took a cup of coffee out to the back yard to watch the sun rise.
Kid slept till almost ten. When he appeared in the kitchen, he look refreshed, maybe even healthier.. He walked over and got himself a cup of coffee.
"Kid, today we're going to do one of your favorite things," Heyes announced and Kid saw Clem roll her eyes.
"We're going to get drunk and play poker?" Kid asked.
"Maybe tonight," Heyes replied, as though the suggestion was an every day occurrence and pleased that Kid was able to joke. "No, today we are taking you shopping."
Kid looked at Clem who raised her eyes up to look at him and bit at her bottom lip.
"Shopping?" Kid said.
"You need clothes that suit you better. The way you're eating I have no doubt you'll put some of that weight back on in no time, but right now your clothes could fit you a might better. Maybe some Levis, a red Henley, a blue shirt," Heyes said.
"You're trying to make me look more like an outlaw?"
"Well, we both are outlaws at heart," Heyes said solemnly
"Heyes, I don't have a nickle to my name," Kid confessed.
"Which brings me to my second point. Heyes reached into his pocket and pulled out a neatly folded wad of money. "I want you to take this. It's not a loan. It's a gift. ."
"I can't take your money, Heyes," Kid protested.
"Sure you can, Kid. You know you would do the same for him," Clem said.
Kid knew he needed money and he knew he had no way of getting any money. He knew he wasn't well enough to take a job and he knew most people wouldn't knowingly hire a convict anyway." Slowly he reached out and took the money in his hand and slipped it in his pocket.
"I'll pay you back one day," he promised.
Heyes smiled. "You've already paid me back a hundred times, Kid. Just having you back is payment enough."
Kid slipped into the brand new Levis. They felt stiff but somehow comfortable. He put on the new blue shirt and brown leather vest. He carefully tucked the shirt into his pants, then buttoned the fly. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Kid pulled on his new tan leather boots. The boots felt tight and stiff and would need some breaking in to be comfortable. He walked across the room to the dresser and examined himself in the mirror and he smiled as he adjusted the position of the brown Stetson. He was ready for an evening of beer and poker just as Heyes had promised. He counted the remainder of the three thousand dollars Heyes had given him. He put fifty dollars in his vest pocket and the remaining twenty-nine hundred in the nightstand drawer. Then he walked into the kitchen for the final inspection.
"Kid, you are still the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on, not withstanding Mark of course."
"Of course," Kid laughed
Heyes smiled seeing a bit of a sparkle back in Kid's eyes. "You ready?"
"Ready," Kid replied.
"Clem, don't bother waiting up," Heyes said as he and Curry walked out the door.
"I never have" she called after them..
The Golden Nugget saloon was within walking distance, although Kid was uncertain if "walking distance," applied to someone wearing brand new boots. Hopefully he would be drunk enough on the way home not to be able to feel his feet.
They stepped through the bat doors and this time Heyes lead the procession to the far end of the bar where they assumed their usual positions and ordered two beers.
Heyes held his beer mug in the air "To a bright future,"
Kid smiled warmly. "And old friends." He touched Heyes mug with his own and they each took a healthy drink.
A pretty blonde saloon girl sashayed up to them and sensually eyed Kid from his hat to his boots. He glanced at Heyes who raised his eyebrows and gave Kid a nod..
Kid shook his head. "Not tonight, darlin," he said. The girl frowned and looked at Heyes.
"Me either," Heyes said.
The girl sighed and walked away.
Kid gave Heyes a sideways glanced and saw him smiling ear to ear. "See, some things never change, Kid." Heyes said.
Kid smiled boyishly.
"You know, Kid, it's alright. You always used to like... well, you know what you liked... and it has been a while."
"I can't Heyes, I:m,... just not ready."
"Okay. I won't press the issue."
"Thank you."
Heyes turned around and leaned against the bar and cased out the poker tables. "Second table, center aisle," he said, picking up his beer and making his way across the room. Kid followed.
"Room for two more?" Heyes asked the men seated and all nodded.
Over the course of three hours, Kid managed to win a couple of hands. He wouldn't go home ahead, but neither would he be empty handed. He ordered beers steadily, determined to go home drunk. Heyes won several hands and had tripled his investment.
At midnight, Heyes decided they should head home. Kid stood and took several steps and determined he was in fact drunk enough not to feel his pinched toes inside his boots.
Once home and stripped to his long johns, Kid did pass out in his bed from the alcohol. But, unlike the sleeping pill, the alcohol had no effect on his night terrors and he thrashed about in bed, sometimes demanding and sometimes pleading for the end of some unspoken trauma. Often his back would arch in response to some past but vividly real physical pain. Heyes could not sleep and didn't dare try to waken his intoxicated friend. So he lit an oil lamp and turned the wick down low and sat on the edge of his bed watching Kid's reactions to his agonizing dreams.
"Let's start with vengeful," Dr. Thompson said as he and Kid sat in the shade of the weeping willow tree in Clem's back yard.
"What?" Kid asked.
"During my last visit you mentioned four things that you were feeling. One of those things was vengeance. Who do you feel this vengeance toward?"
"Guards, but mostly the warden."
"Why do you feel this vengeance, Mr. Curry."
"You don't treat a man, even criminals, the way they treat prisoners."
"How do they treat prisoners? What do they do?"
Kid had no intention of putting words to specific acts of torture and humiliation. "They strip away who you are. You go in to prison as a man paying for your crimes. … You don't come out a man..."
"What do you come out as?" Dr. Thompson asked.
Kid struggled. He couldn't find a word to describe what he was trying to express. "Broken," he finally whispered.
"And you want the warden to pay for that?"
Kid nodded.
"Do you plan to make him pay for that, Mr. Curry?"
Kid's tongue rolled slowly around the inside of his cheek as he nodded. Dr. Thompson accepted Kid's nod and did not press Kid to speak.
"How do you plan to do that?"
Kid shrugged his shoulders. He was not about to admit to a specific plan. "I just know that he will pay. Someday, he'll pay for what he done."
"Did the warden himself inflict punishment on you?"
Kid fought to keep the memories at bay. Slowly he nodded.
"What did the warden do?"
Kid shook his head, his eyes glazed in the torturous memory. "Second thing we ain't talking about."
Dr. Thompson accepted Kid's refusal. "Mr. Curry, I have treated a few other men who have been released from that prison. Some have spoken candidly about the horrendous things that occur there. All have spoken of retaliation. What you are feeling, what you are thinking is a normal reaction to your experience. But actually acting on those thoughts is criminal and would land you right back where you started. Do you understand what I'm telling you?" Dr. Thompson asked.
"Justice ain't criminal," Kid replied.
"That's not how the legal system sees it, Mr. Curry. It is only justice if the legal system incurs the punishment. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret."
"Then you're in luck, cause I won't have no regrets."
Dr. Thompson sighed. "Mr. Curry, I wish you would reconsider hospitalization."
"No," Kid said adamantly.
"Then understand that I can force hospitalization at any time that I believe you may be an actual threat to yourself or to someone else."
Kid refused to acknowledge the doctor. He gazed off toward the distant mountains.
"Do you understand, Mr. Curry.
Kid nodded but continued to refuse eye contact. Reluctantly, Dr. Thompson moved on.
"Are those pills helping you sleep?"
Kid nodded. "Heyes says they are. He says I sleep quiet all night."
"No nightmares?"
"Not that I remember."
"Good. I want you to continue using them."
Kid nodded.
"Tell me about your relationship with Mr. Heyes," Dr. Thompson said.
"He's my cousin. He's the only family I got."
"Are the two of you close?"
"We used to be...We're trying to be again."
"Do you resent the fact that he didn't have to serve a prison term?"
Kid shook his head. "No, I'm glad. I think if he had... we wouldn't have a chance to be close again... We would have both lost the link to any family.."
"So he is your stability?"
Kid nodded. "Right now he is."
"Do you listen to him? Take his advice?"
"Sometimes. Sometimes not."
"How does he feel about your thoughts of vengeance?"
"He's quiet about it. He knows I have to think on it."
"Does he try to sway you one way or another?"
"Not yet. He will if he thinks he needs to."
"If he does, will you listen to him?"
"I'll listen. That don't mean I'll change my mind."
"I think perhaps we should start meeting three times a week for a while."
"You getting nervous, Doctor?"
Dr. Thompson smiled. "On the contrary, Mr. Curry. I am actually very encouraged. I think you are very much a man of moral character... And I think your are very capable of rebuilding your life. I think you have a few stumbling blocks, a few hurdles to overcome. And I think between you, me, and your cousin, you can get past those obstacles."
The doctor stood, but Kid continued to sit under the tree and look at the mountains beyond.
"I'll see you in a couple of days, Mr. Curry."
Kid nodded absently. Dr. Thompson went into the kitchen.
"Well?" Heyes asked.
"He still needs constant observation. But he is making progress. It's a long road for him."
Heyes looked out the window to where Kid was sitting. The doctor walked over and touched Heyes' shoulder.
"I do think he'll eventually recover well enough to move on with his life."
"Just well enough?" Heyes asked.
"He's not the same man he was twenty years ago. I doubt you are either. He'll find who he is comfortable being."
Heyes nodded slowly. "Thank you, doctor."
"Heyes, I want my gun." Kid announced at supper. "And my holster."
Heyes gave Clem a nervous glance.
"What, you think I didn't see that look?" Kid asked.
"Kid, do you think that's a wise thing to do?" Heyes asked.
Kid sighed. "I don't need no bullets. I just want to feel my gun on my leg again. I want to feel... dressed, not nekked"
"Have you looked around lately, Kid? People don't go around sporting a gun on their hip anymore. You're just going to have to learn to walk around feeling naked," Heyes argued.
"Heyes, I'm not going to shoot anybody. I just want to practice. I want to see...'
"How fast you are?"
"Yea, nothing wrong with that." Kid said.
"Well, Clem locked the gun you brought with you in her lock box at the bank. Your old gun and holster are back in Porterville. I'm going to be heading back there in a couple of days. Why don't you come with me and you can get your gun back?"
"Can't." Kid replied.
"Why not?"
"Well I think I'm wanted in Wyoming again."
"Wanted? Why?"
"I think I became wanted the day I rode into Colorado."
"You mean you're on probation?"
"I believe so. At least that's what the papers they gave me at the prison say. I mean, not that I'm wanted, but that I can't leave the state of Wyoming."
"I thought your prison sentence was done flat out."
"Well, apparently not." Kid replied
Heyes sighed heavily. "Let me wire Lom tomorrow and see if that's true and if there's anything he can do to fix things."
"Okay, but I still want my gun and holster. Even the one I bought with the ten dollars they gave me when I got out of prison. That will do till I get mine back."
"Kid, Dr. Thompson doesn't think you should have a gun just yet," Clem said.
Kid's irritation was growing. He sighed heavily. "Then I'll just buy another one. There's no law that says I can't have a gun."
Heyes sighed. again "Alright, we'll all go to the bank tomorrow and get your gun out of Clem's lock box. "
"Thank you. I just want to practice shooting tin cans. Honest"
"Are you wanting to become the fastest gun in the west again, Kid?" Heyes asked.
Kid laughed. "Heyes, I'm fifty years old. I ain't never going to be a fast gun again. You don't have to worry, either of you. I just want the feel of the gun strapped to my leg again. It don't feel right walking around without it."
"You promise to tell Dr. Thompson you got a gun again," Clem asked.
Kid looked at Clem and gave her a very sincere smile. "I promise," he said
The next day Heyes, Clem and Curry walked into town and into the bank to retrieve the gun from Clem's lock box. As the three sat at the table in the lock box vault, Clem unlocked the box. She pulled the gun and holster from the box and handed them to Kid. Then she slowly pulled the picture of the three of them from the box. She looked at the picture sadly, remembering another time, thirty years past. She held the picture out to Kid.
"I suppose you should have this, now."
Kid took the picture and looked at it. He felt an even greater sadness for the Kid he saw in the picture, the innocent Kid, the free Kid, the Kid less scythed by life, the Kid he could only remember, but no longer knew.
"Thank you, Clem. He said quietly. He showed the picture to Heyes but didn't let go of it and finally slipped it into his shirt pocket. Then he stood and strapped on the holster. He ran his hand gently down the outside of the holster, He picked up the gun and tried to twirl the gun but it caught on his finger. He laughed. "See, you two don't have to worry about me being a fast gun anymore," he said and slipped the gun into the holster and slipped the safety over the small protruding stud. "It needs balancing, and a good cleaning" he added
Next they stopped at the telegraph office and Heyes sent a telegram to Lom inquiring about Kid's probation status.
Let's exercise your horse," Kid suggested as they emerged from the telegraph office. Heyes looked at Clem and she shrugged a "why not," at him.
"Alright," Heyes said with a smile.
"First I need some blanks. I seen a gun shop a couple of blocks from the livery stable. I'm going to stop there."
"We're going to stop there," Heyes corrected.
"To make sure I only buy blanks?" Kid asked.
"That's right, Kid," Heyes replied.
Kid laughed again. Okay. Let's go."
After Kid bought a box of blanks, they rented two horses. Heyes rode his own and the three of them rode to the spot Kid and Heyes had ridden to several days ago. There Kid lined up small rocks on an old dead log and practiced shooting for an hour. He did not possess the quick draw or the accurate aim he once had, but was satisfied hitting four out of six and occasionally five out of six rocks he had lined up.
"That felt good," Kid said when he joined Heyes and Clem under an Aspen tree. "I doubt that I can improve speed, but I think I'll improve accuracy pretty quick."
"You looked pretty accurate to me," Heyes said.
"That's cause you never could hit a mark," Kid teased.
"I was always the planner. You were always the brawn."
Kid smiled reflectively. "We were a good team," he said quietly.
"I think we still are, Kid," Heyes replied and Kid's smile broadened.
"Me too," Kid replied.
"Well, should we be heading back?" Clem asked.
"Think Mark would be willing to go out for supper tonight?" Heyes asked.
"I think he'd like that as much as I would," Clem replied.
They dropped off the horses and stopped at the telegraph Office on their way home. Lom had sent a reply that Heyes first read to himself.
"What did he say?" Kid asked.
"You're right, Kid. There's a warrant out for missing an appointment with a probation officer."
Kid stopped in his tracks, closed his eyes, and sighed heavily. "How long?" he asked.
Heyes shrugged. "Just thirty days. Lom says they can be served in his jail. He says he can help you arrange permission to transfer the probation to Colorado if you want to."
Kid looked at Heyes. "But you'll be in Porterville," he said.
"Yes. Pretty soon I'll have to go back there permanently."
They continued their conversation as they proceeded to walk home.
"But Dr. Thompson is in Denver," Clem reminded them. "And Porterville is such a small town, there probably isn't a psychiatric doctor anywhere nearby."
"That's true," Heyes said.
"Well, I have to go back to Porterville with you just to get this probation thing straightened out and do my thirty days. That gives me a month to figure out which place to make permanent. And..." Kid said looking at Clem, "That gives you and Mark a month's reprieve."
Clem frowned. "I wish you's stop worrying about Mark. He really doesn't mind you being here."
"But I bet he'd still like a little vacation from it," Kid said.
Two days later Dr. Thompson arrived for a session. Heyes met the doctor at the door and ushered him into the parlor where Kid was already seated.
"Before you and Kid talk, there are a couple of things we both need to discuss with you," Heyes explained.
"And what are they?" Dr. Thompson asked.
"On Saturday Kid and I are going back to Wyoming for a month. Kid needs to straighten out some probation issues, maybe get probation transferred to Colorado, and I have a job I've been neglecting.
"I see. What is it you want from me?"
"Well, Kid said, "Another bottle of the sleeping pills and something in writing proving that I've been seeing you regularly," Kid replied.
"For psychiatric treatment," Heyes added.
"I can provide both of those things. Stop by my office before you leave for Wyoming and I'll have them ready for you. Mr. Curry, I am familiar with the rules of probation in Colorado. You will also need proof of employment. Are you employed?"
Kid nodded. "As of today I work for Mark Fowler,"
"In what capacity?"
They hadn't given that a thought. And exchanged inquisitive glances.
"Security," Heyes announced.
"I see," Dr. Thompson said. "Very well, I'll have those things ready for you in the morning."
Heyes uttered a sigh of relied. "Thank you, Doctor. I'll leave the two of you alone now," he added and headed for the kitchen, shutting the parlor doors behind him.
"I guess I had assumed you had arranged probation in Colorado," Dr. Thompson said.
Kid shook his head. "Didn't realize I was even on probation."
"So Wyoming is going to require some jail time?"
Kid nodded. "Thirty days. But I can do it in Porterville. Heyes will be there and the Sheriff is a friend of mine."
"Good...That had me a bit concerned."
"It'll be fine," Kid assured him.
"And what about your proximity to the prison, to the warden?"
"I'm gonna be in jail the whole time," Kid reminded him.
"But at the end of that time you will be released from jail."
"You're afraid I'm going to kill him, aren't you?" Kid asked
"Are you?" Dr. Thompson replied. "I see you're wearing a gun."
Kid smiled. "Filled with blanks."
"You haven't answered my question," the Doctor prodded.
Kid leaned back in his chair and slung his right leg over his left knee. "First off, I like being free again. Now I know I still have a lot of things to work through... But I do know I am never going to risk going back to prison. Number two, I am never going to make Heyes and Clem think this was all for naught. I would never burden them with that kind of guilt. Number three, I know I can't complete this road to healing without your help. I'm not going to risk losing that. Does that answer your question?"
"As I have told you before Mr. Curry, I very much admire you. The resilience that you have shown is astounding. You're ability to rationalize all these things is more than impressive."
Kid thought for a moment and made a decision. "As Heyes would say, I think it's time to turn a page," he said.
Kid slowly stood up and unbuttoned his shirt. Then he turned his back to the doctor and lowered the shirt, revealing his scar laden back. He pulled his shirt back on and turned around. "There are worse things than this that we haven't talked about," Kid said as he buttoned his shirt and sat back down. "I haven't even let Heyes see this... You and I have a long way to go."
"I can see that," the doctor said, trying not to let Kid see the shock he was feeling.
"I know it's a lot to ask, especially since I ain't paying you nothing, but, do you think you could find the time to make at least one trip to Porterville? "
Dr. Thompson nodded. "Of course I will," he promised.
Kid smiled appreciatively. "So, what's on your agenda to talk about today?"
"I think you just covered a lot of what I had planned to broach today."
Kid looked down at his hands and played with his fingers. "The scars are from wet cattail whippings," he said quietly. "Hands and ankles are tied to posts with wet leather. When they have whipped you to just before the point of unconsciousness, they pour salt water down your back. And then they leave you there while the tethers dry and shrink. When they do take you down, they have to peel the leather off. It takes the skin with it …. You can see by the scars that this wasn't a one time punishment.."
"I am truly sorry," the doctor whispered.
"That wasn't the worst they did. But it's the worst I'll ever tell you about."
"Mr. Curry..."
"Kid," Curry corrected.
"Kid, I understand why you feel the need to kill the warden. I'll help you come to understand why you shouldn't. And when you are ready, I will help you get another kind of revenge."
Kid's icy blue eyes locked with the doctor's hazel eyes. "Thank you," he said without a hint of emotion.
The next day Heyes and Curry picked up the medicine and papers from Dr. Thompson's office and the proof of employment from Mark. Kid bought a horse, saddle, ect from the livery stable and they asked that the horses be saddled and ready by eight the next morning. On Saturday morning, they headed to Porterville.
"You okay, Kid?" Heyes asked after they crossed into Wyoming.
"Heyes, with the exception of Devil's Hole, there ain't one decent acre of land in Wyoming."
"And it's been such a long time, we likely aren't even welcome in Devil's Hole anymore, Kid."
"Like I said, ain't nothing good about Wyoming."
When they arrived in Porterville, they went directly to the Sheriff's office. As he walked inside, Kid untied and unbuckled his holster and handed it to Lom.
"It's good to see you, Kid. It's been a long time."
"You, too, Lom," Kid replied.
"I'm going to have to frisk you, Kid. New rules," Lom explained.
Kid sighed and nodded his understanding, knowing a moment of truth was on the cusp..
"Hold out your arms," Lom instructed as he walked around the desk and approached Kid.
Kid gritted his teeth, extended his arms, and stared at the wall, bracing himself for the inevitable invasion of Lom's hands.
Lom patted down both arms and then reached around to Kid's back. He felt odd, long thin lumps.
"I'm going to have to ask you to raise your shirt, Kid," Lom said.
The faint sound of a whimper escaped Kid's lips. He slowly reached down to loosen the shirt and raise the back of his shirt to his shoulders.
"Kid!," Heyes gasped.
"You can put your shirt down now, Kid. I'm sorry," Lom said.
Kid let the back of the shirt fall into place. Slowly he turned to Heyes and locked eyes with him When he spoke, his voice was commanding and without falter. "You listen to me Heyes. This ain't your fault. Don't go trying to take responsibility. It's not your burden to bear."
Heyes nodded but Kid had never seen such anguish in Heyes' face.
Kid continued, his voice stoic. "Now come around here and stand in front of me. You look right at me until I tell you to stop. Don't take your eyes off me."
Heyes did as instructed.
"Go ahead, Lom," Kid said, staring directly into Heyes' eyes.
Lom frisked the lower half of Kid's body.. "Done," Lom said flatly.
Only then did Kid look away from Heyes. "Which cell do you want me in?" he asked Lom.
"Take your pick, Kid."
Kid walked into the cell with the barred window. He laid down on the bed and pulled his hat over his face. He heard the door clank shut.
"I'm going to take your horse home, Kid. I'll come back this evening," Heyes said, wanting to give Kid the time he needed to settle himself.
Kid lay silent and still on his cot.
Lom locked the cell door.
"Kid, did they do that to you in prison?"
"Weren't Sunday School."
"Did you inform the warden?"
Kid tilted his hat so one blue eye looked out at Lom."
"The warden participated... Seemed to be enjoying himself."
"I'm going to send a report to the governor. He can do something about this."
"Not just yet, Lom."
"Why?"
Kid laid his hat on the bed and sat up on the edge of the bed. "There's a doctor in Denver I've been seeing. He's going to come here sometime this month to see how I'm doing. He may be able to help you write that report, from a psychiatric standpoint."
"Alright, and I will hand deliver it to the governor."
Kid sighed, believing no mere report would change the way the prison was run."
That evening Heyes returned with a steak and potato dinner for Kid. He showed it to Lom for inspection before sliding through the cell for Kid.
"I'll be bringing his supper every night, Lom. No offense but jail food just won't put any meat back on those bones, Heyes explained.
"No offense taken," Lom replied.
Heyes handed Lom an envelope. "And these are the papers to be filed with the application to transfer Kid's probation to Colorado."
Lom put the envelope in a desk drawer. "We'll get started on that tomorrow, so maybe it will be all approved by the time you're ready to go back to Denver."
"What happens if I haven't gotten approval but that time?" Kid asked
"You'll have to wait here in Wyoming till the decision is rendered. If it is approved, the paperwork will be sent to Colorado ahead of you."
"Lom, is there any way Kid could serve his thirty days outside of a jail cell?"
"What did you have in mind?" Lom asked, knowing his final answer would be no.
"Oh, I don't know... locked in a hotel room maybe, with a nice soft bed and more of the comforts of home."
"Heyes," Kid interrupted. "Stop worrying about be. I'm fine right here," Kid assured him.
"And the answer is no," Lom added.
Heyes shrugged. "I thought I would give it my best shot," he explained.
"Heyes, your silver tongue seems to have abandoned you," Kid teased.
"Can he have visitors in his cell?" Heyes asked.
"If I frisk them first. Why?"
"He thought it would feel more like old times if he was locked in the cell, too." Kid said laughing.
"No, seriously," Heyes began. "I was thinking of Dr. Thompson."
"I'll make sure Kid and the psychiatrist are able to talk in private," Lom assured Heyes.
"I was hoping he was thinking more along the lines of one of the saloon girls," Kid joked
"That's what I thought he was leading up to," Lom chidded.
"Kid, not to worry," Heyes said, "I can see you're going to have an enjoyable time here... picking on me and having Lom back you up."
"That does sound enjoyable," Kid replied.
The days passed slowly for Kid, although the evenings were usually entertaining. Heyes and Lom had each rounded up a few friends willing to move a poker game to the jail and a table was positioned next to Kid's cell so, by moving his cot against the bars, Kid was able to sit at the table with his arms poking through the bars and play poker two or three nights a week. He had only brought a few dollars with him, so Heyes loaned him poker money when he needed it.
Lom and Kid had completed the application to move Kid's probation to Colorado and Lom had mailed it off at the end of the first week. By the beginning of week three, no decision had been made.
Dr. Thompson arrived late in the afternoon on the Friday of the third week of Kid's incarceration. He had sought out Heyes for an update before visiting the Sheriff's Office. Kid smiled a greeting to the doctor when he saw him walk in. Dr. Thompson was familiar with the visitor frisking rule and offered no objection. Lom then let Dr. Thompson into Kid's cell, locked the door to the cell, and said he was going to do his rounds of the town and would be back in about an hour.
"Have seat, Doctor," Kid said motioning to the cot. Kid stood near a corner in the cell.
"I hear you are doing quite well considering your situation," Dr. Thompson said.
"I'll be doing better when I'm out of Wyoming again, but Heyes and Lom are doing their beast to keep me in good spirits. Lom is filing a complaint with the governor about the prison and I told him to wait to file it until he talks to you, if that's alright with you?" Kid explained.
"I am most willing to offer any insights I might have that the Sheriff feels would be helpful," Dr. Thompson said.. "But for now, I want to talk about you?"
"Fire away," Kid said.
"Mr. Heyes tells me that he saw the scars on your back and was quite shocked."
Kid nodded.
"He said you very stoically talked him down from his immediate feelings of guilt."
"I suppose so. He saw them before I had a chance to get him ready for it.."
"He also told me that you instructed him on how to help you withstand the more... personal frisking that followed."
Again Kid nodded.
"Those were displays of exceptional coping skills, Kid."
"I suppose."
"How are you sleeping?"
"Lom's very good about giving me one of those pills every night. Every morning I hear the deputy tell Lom that I slept all night. I haven't heard him say anything about me being restless or talking in my sleep."
"Good. A good night of sleep certainly makes daytime functioning a little easier."
"Doc, Am I going to have to take those pills for the rest of my life?"
"Most people do. A few people find they can taper off of them. Are you satisfied with the complaint being filed against the warden?"
"If it does some good."
"And if it doesn't?"
"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."
"You still always avoid a direct answer to questions about the warden."
Kid did not offer a response.
"So you have not dismissed the idea of self retaliation?"
"I haven't dismissed any thoughts about the warden at this point."
"Do you know what the word hypothetical means?"
Kid nodded
"Then speaking hypothetically now, if you were to take justice into your own hands, what would you do after such an act?"
"I already told you I won't go back to prison."
"Which leaves two choices,"
Kid nodded.
"What would you choose?"
"I spent ten years on the run, hiding from posses, bounty hunters. I ain't running again either."
Dr. Thompson studied Kid's face and knew Kid had come to terms with the possibility of taking his own life if it was the only way to avoid prison again.
"You still answer the question in a round about manner, Kid."
Kid rolled his eyes. "Okay, you want a direct answer... If I have to kill the warden to get justice done, I will do just that. And the next shot I take will be into my own head. Is that direct enough for you.?"
"Yes, Mr. Curry."
"Mr. Curry," Kid said. "Now I have offended you."
"No. You haven't offended me. You have given me insight as to how best to continue with your therapy.. You should know that, if the complaint to the governor does not produce the desired results, I will inform the governor as well as the warden of your expressed plans. A restraining order would then be issued against you."
"What's a restraining order?"
It is issued by a judge and restricts the proximity you can have to the warden. If you are ever closer than the restraining order allows, you would be arrested.
Kid shook his head with exasperation.
"You know, in all the times that Heyes and I robbed banks and trains, we never shot anyone. Yet the justice system decided I should go to prison for twenty years! The only person I ever killed, called me out, not the other way around, and except for that man, I have never intentionally caused harm to any man, woman, or child unless it was in self defense. When Heyes and I went straight, the justice system strung us along for ten years with the promise of an amnesty. The justice system threw me into a prison that physically beat me on a daily basis just because of who I am, not because of anything I did. Now your telling me that the justice system would protect that vile, sadistic warden... I have no respect for the damn justice system. It ain't just at all ."
Lom walked into the office. He found the silence in the cell to be deafening. "Did I interrupt something?"
"Yes," Kid replied. "But it's probably for the best."
DR. Thompson stood up and Lom went over and unlocked the door and Dr. Thompson stepped out of the cell. Lom then locked the door again.
Dr. Thompson stopped near Kid. "You've given me a lot to think about, Kid... Will you see me again tomorrow before I leave?"
Kid looked at the doctor and realized the doctor was disturbed by what Kid had said. "I'd like that," Kid said quietly.
"Mr. Trevers, Kid tells me he has offered my input in a complaint you are preparing for the governor."
"Yes, he has."
"Perhaps we could meet over breakfast at the hotel, say eight o'clock?"
"That would be fine. I'll bring the necessary paperwork."
The doctor stopped at the door and turned back. "Kid, you continue to amaze and impress me with your insight. Sleep well."
Kid looked puzzled. "You too," he said.
Lom met Dr. Thompson for breakfast as scheduled and was rewarded with a wealth of information. It seems Dr. Thompson and the prison doctor had attended school together and the prison doctor was also very disillusioned with the conditions inside the prison. He had provided Dr. Thompson with Kid's medical records.
After breakfast Dr. Thompson accompanied Lom to the jail. Lom gave Kid the breakfast he had ordered for him and let Dr. Thompson into the cell and locked the door. Then he excused himself for his morning rounds.
"I'm sorry if I offended you last night with that tirade. Sometimes the frustration and anger just reach a breaking point," Kid explained as he chomped on his bacon and eggs.
"You did not offend me. You motivated me.… I don't know how much I should tell you. I want to share it all with you, but I don't want you to get your hopes up unrealistically."
"Tell me what?"
"I went to medical school with the prison doctor... was he ever,,,, unkind to you?"
Kid shook his head. "He stuck to his business of mending broken bones, stitching up wounds, putting salves on whipping scars, you know, the medical stuff. But he was never unkind. Why?"
"Because I know him personally, I contacted him at his home, not the prison. I discussed your situation and he said he was very familiar with you, that he treated your injuries, or was told of your injuries when you were not permitted to visit the infirmary, and he kept meticulous records. He shared those records with me. I am going to accompany Sheriff Trevers to the governor's office for a meeting scheduled next week. With your permission, I will relate your specific case to the governor... If the governor decides to act, the warden will know that you were influential in that decision... He will know that you were the one that brought him down. Eventually the prisoners will know that you are the one that helped to improve conditions in the prison."
Kid stared at the doctor for what seem like a very long time while he absorbed all that Dr. Thompson had told him. The smile that formed on Kid's face was not one of achieved revenge. It was one of pure gratitude.
"You're the amazing one, Dr. Thompson. What you've done for me so far, what you're doing for those other prisoners. Thank you," Kid said.
"You told me once that there were things that happened to you that you would never talk about..."
"And by having my medical records, you know all about those things,." Kid said as his eyes studied the floor.
"Kid, I think I have come to know you pretty well... I honestly think that when your are ready to talk about that, we will be able to work through it. If there is a trial, we will have to have that discussion before the trial begins. There will be questions about it during the trial. Will you be able to answer those questions in a court of law?
"If we've been able to work through it I will. It's not something a person could ever be comfortable talking about, not something I ever want to think about. It ain't natural... But if it will make that warden pay for what he done, I'll get through it..
"Kid, I honestly think you will one day feel whole again."
"I'll settle for just not broken," Kid eplied.
Lom walked into the office and Dr. Thompson said he needed to be on his way in order to get back to Denver before dusk. Lom unlocked the cell door.
"Doc," Kid called. Dr. Thompson stood in the cell doorway and turned back to face Kid.
Kid extended his hand.
"Are you sure?" Dr. Thompson asked.
Kid smiled. "I'm quite sure."
With that Dr. Thompson grasped Kid's hand and shook it. It was the first willing physical contact Kid had with a man in over twenty years.
And he handled it confidently.
As the fourth week began, Lom Trevers received word that Kid's parole was being transferred to Colorado and would be finalized by the end of the week. When Kid completed his thirty days in jail, he was free to return to Colorado permanently.
When Heyes brought supper that night , Kid wanted to fill him in on what Lom and Dr. Thompson were doing and what Dr. Thompson anticipated to be the outcome. He also wanted to discuss his plans for returning to Colorado.
"Lom, could Heyes visit like Dr. Thompson did, in the cell, I mean? I got things I need to discuss in private with him," Kid asked.
Knowing Kid only had a few days till he'd be release, Lom knew Kid would not consider an escape and he knew Heyes would not help him even if he did want to escape. He also knew Kid's prison experience and knew positive support was vital to Kid's recovery.
"Leave your gun on the desk, Heyes, and I got to frisk you first.
Heyes smiled and put his gun on the desk and stretched his arms out as he had seen Kid do nearly a month ago. Lom then let Heyes into the cell, locked the door, and promised to be back within the hour.
Heyes turned around and looked at Kid smiling. "Fells like old times, uh, Kid?"
Kid laughed. "Yea, Heyes. Old times."
There was a moment of silence as kid decided where to begin.
"The report Lom is filing with the Attorney General includes my prison medical records. I'm guessing that's a pretty thick record over the course of twenty years. Dr. Thompson thinks the Attorney General will suponea the medical records of other inmates after he reads mine. He thinks charges will be forthcoming against the Warden."
"That's a good thing, ain't it?" Heyes asked.
Kid nodded slowly. "Means I may have to testify," Kid said slowly.
"Think you can do that, Kid?"
"I think I have to try," Kid replied.
"I'll be there with you, if you want me to," Kid
Kid smiled sadly. "Watching my back are you?"
"Yea, Kid. From here on in."
Kid paused before speaking. "Heyes, some of the things in that medical report are...pretty gruesome. … A lot worse than the scars on my back. Sometime before the trial, we'll have a talk. If you're going to know, you should hear it from me first. Before I'll be ready to do that, I have to talk it through with Dr. Thompson"
Kid looked into Heyes eyes. Heyes could see the pain embedded in Kid's eyes. Heyes nodded. "What ever you say, Kid."
Kid sighed and changed the subject. "I'll be heading back to Colorado the end of the week. When I get there, I think I'm ready to get my own place."
"You sure living alone is a good idea right now? You think you're ready for that, Kid?"
"I'm not sure, but I don't think my staying with Clem and Mark is fair to them."
"Kid," Heyes said, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "You want to team up again?"
"What?"
"We were partners once, we can do it again."
Kid smiled sadly. "I can't, Heyes. If you knew what twenty years in prison was like, you'd understand that. I can't let myself depend on anyone, except maybe you, but not like that. I can't feel boxed in. I'm sorry."
"You'll settle in Denver?"
Kid nodded. "Outside of town a ways. I want open spaces."
Heyes nodded his understanding.
"Heyes..."
"Yea Kid?"
"I wish... I wish things had been different."
"Me too, Kid."
"You'll always be my partner, Heyes."
"You'll always be mine, Kid."
At the end of the week Kid was released from jail. Lom gave Kid the probation papers and showed Kid where the time and place of his first appoint was written on the papers.
"I won't miss it this time," Kid promised
Heyes brought Kid's horse to the jail all saddled and packed
"Well, I guess this is good bye for now," Heyes said, handing the reins to Kid.
"I guess it is,"
"I'll come to Denver in a couple of weeks, once you're settled in."
"Look forward to that," Kid replied.
Heyes stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do next..
Kid smiled at Heyes and slowly stretched out his right arm, extending his hand.
Heyes looked surprised and very pleased. "You sure, Kid?" Heyes asked.
Still smiling, Kid nodded. "I'm sure."
Heyes reached out and shook Kid's hand. Kid pulled Heyes in closer and wrapped his left arm around Heyes. The exchange was brief, but comforting to both men.
Kid mounted his horse. "Lom, thanks for all your help,"
"Sure, Kid," Lom replied.
"Heyes, I'll see you in a couple of weeks."
"I'll be there."
Kid tugged on the reins and turned the horse around. He slowly rode away.
"You okay, Heyes?" Lom asked.
"Yea. But more importantly, I think Kid's going to be okay.
Three months later, Heyes and Dr. Thompson sat in comfortable leather chairs in front of the fireplace in the log cabin Kid was renting in the mountains overlooking Denver. Kid sat on the stone hearth facing his doctor and his partner.
Kid had gained about thirty pounds. His face had filled out, thus eliminating some of the wrinkles in his face and, although he did have crows feet, the added weight actually gave him a more youthful appearance. The dark circles under his eyes had completely vanished. He looked healthy again.
Mark had actually hired Kid as a night watchman at Mark's business. This job allowed Kid to wear his gun so he no longer felt "nekked."
The Wyoming Prosecuting Attorney had filed several charges against the warden of the prison, as well as against several guards. The warden's trial was scheduled to being in three weeks. Kid was scheduled to testify which the prosecution felt would likely take the better part of a day.
So Kid felt the time had come to have the conversation with Heyes that would prepare Heyes for the details that would be made public at the trial. Kid and Doctor Thompson had a similar conversation a month ago and Kid felt ready to talk to Heyes.
"I think you'll agree Mr. Heyes that Kid has made amazing progress. It took some time for Kid to let go of some defenses, but once he felt comfortable doing that, the progress has been remarkable. I can honestly say I have never seen a person more determined to take back control of his life."
Kid smiled politely at Dr. Thompson, then looked directly at Heyes. "I told you a few months back, Heyes, that I thought you should know all the ugly details before the trial begins. I know the day that I testify is going to be very hard and I don't want you falling apart on me. I need you to be the partner you have always been."
"I'll always have your back, Kid. I promise."
"I know that Heyes."
Kid glanced at Dr. Thompson, then looked down at the floor. One hand over the other, Kid intertwined his fingers and took a deep breath.
"In the beginning, it was pretty much what you'd expect. I knew a couple of the other prisoners, knew of a couple more. There was pretty much someone every day that wanted to best Kid Curry. .. A few punches thrown here and there." Kid smiled to himself. "Not much different than life on the outside... But then the guards started to take notice, seemed to encourage some of the prisoners...started to help them. Pretty soon it wasn't just somebody wanting to prove he was tougher than me. It became two or three or more coming at me at a time. I started getting beat up pretty bad, a broken bone here or there, a concussion. I started thinking my natural skin color was purple.."
Kid raised his eyes and looked at Heyes who offered him a sympathetic smile.
"After the first year, the new warden came. He gave the guards free rein to enforce what he called discipline. One morning we were in line for breakfast. He guy behind me bumped into me and it pushed me into the guy ahead of me. Two guards yanked me out of line and ushered me down a hall that lead to a courtyard. It was the first time I had been outdoors in a year. There were two poles maybe ten feet tall and six or eight feet apart that were sticking out of the ground. The poles had some sort of pulley near the top of each of them. They told me to take off my shirt and Henley and then they tied each of my wrists with strips of wet leather and attached the other ends of the leather to the pulleys. Then they tied each of my ankles to the base of the poles. I was standing spread eagle, could barely move. Another guard came out carrying a bucket of something and set it down behind me. Then the warden came out. He stood in front of me and away from the guards. He had his arms folded across his chest... and he was smiling. Finally the guards took turns thrashing me with wet cattails till I nearly passed out. If I managed to lean forward, they would use the pulleys to tighten the tethers."
Heyes couldn't stop himself from wincing.
"I could feel blood oozing down my back... When they were done, they poured the bucket over my back. It was a bucket of salt water. They left me like that for over a day. When they came back and untied me, the leather had dried and the skin on my wrists pealed off with the leather. They drug me back to my cell and left me, crumpled on the floor. I never saw no doctor for that."
Kid took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. He looked first at Dr. Thompson who nodded his encouragement to him. Kid then looked at Heyes whose mouth was open and eyes were wet.
"Over twenty years, that happened at least a dozen times," Kid said quietly. "The warden just standing there smiling."
"Oh, God," Heyes whispered.
Kid locked eyes with Heyes. "You need to stop for a while Heyes? Cause it gets worse."
"Kid you were strong enough to live it. You were strong enough to survive it. I can be strong enough to hear it."
That courtyard had no trees and no grass, just dirt. There was a big metal box in the center of the courtyard, maybe six by six by four. It had half a dozen little holes in the top for air. The door had three locks. The first time I got put in there, I was there for three days, with the sun baking down on it. The sides and top were scorching hot during the day so you didn't dare lean up against it or you'd burn your skin. Once a day they would trickle some water through one of the holes. You had to get on your knees and arch your back just to get a little water to trickle into your mouth. When they let me out, they had to take me to the infirmary because my body was 106 degrees and they were afraid I would have a seizure or something. I remember asking the doctor why they were doing this to me and I remember thinking his answer was peculiar. He said "because son, I'm afraid the warden has taken a liking to you." That didn't make no sense to me. If the warden liked me, why was he doing this to me?"
"Oh, Kid... He wanted you completely submissive, didn't he?"
Kid looked at Dr. Thompson. "I think I need a break," Kid said and walked out of the cabin.
Dr. Thompson gave Kid a couple of minutes before following him outside. Kid stood on the porch, leaning against the post, and looking out over the city of Denver.
"Are you alright?" Dr. Thompson asked.
The voice startled Kid from his thoughts. "Yea, I'm alright... Just when Heyes said that... well I needed to put a little distance between me and … those thoughts."
"You can do that at the trial whenever you need to. Just tell the judge you need a few minutes."
Kid nodded and stood up straight. "We'd better go back in. Heyes is a thinker, a planner. Leaving him alone for too long, well who knows what ideas he might come up with." Kid grinned a bit and went back in the house.
"Why don't we move over to the kitchen table," Kid suggested. "I'll put some coffee on."
"The worst of it started on on a Sunday. I was sleeping when six guards came to my cell. They all came into the cell, that was unusual right there, six of them and nobody stayed outside the cell to slam the door shut if things got ugly. They told me to get up and to take off my shirt and Henley, and to stand facing the wall. I figured I was getting another whipping, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Anyway, they handcuffed me and lead me down a couple of hallways to a door I'd never been to before. It was a stairwell and it led to a big, cold, damp room with only a couple of lanterns burning. In the middle of the room was a barrel about the size of three beer kegs in length. A couple of feet in front and behind the barrel were a couple of stakes in the ground. They shoved me down on on my stomach on top of the barrel and tied my hands and legs to the stakes and fastened two straps across my back. I literally couldn't move. I didn't know what they were going to do, but I was pretty sure I was going to get hurt again. Next thing I knew, the warden walked into the room.
The coffee was hot, so Kid got up from the table and poured a cup of coffee for each of them. Then he sat back down at the table.
"The warden walked over to me and started running his fingers through my hair. Then he ran his hand down my back. At that point, I knew what he was planning. I tried to free my hands but it just made the straps tighter. He started slowly walking around me and started talking. He said 'Mr. Curry, I'm sure you've heard stories about men in prison and how men deal with... certain desires.'
"I don't think I've been more scared in all my life. I started yelling at him, threatening him, but he just smiled. He said he hand picks a few prisoners to serve as the prison whores. He said he tests each one out personally. I started struggling again and cursing him, telling him I'd kill him. He said he hand picked each of the guards because when he was done, they would each take a go at it..'
Heyes listened, his chin quivering, his eyes wet with tears. He looked at Dr. Thompson but the doctor was watching Kid.
"A couple of the guards got the rest of my clothes down to my ankles...Well, you can imagine the rest. It took them all most of the afternoon. By the time they were done, I was bleeding pretty bad. But they just left me like that. The next afternoon the guards came back and untied me. I could barely stand, but I got my pants on. A couple of them shoved me down to my knees... and made me clean up the mess on the ground. Because of all the bleeding, they had to take me to the infirmary. That's why it's in my medical records. If it weren't for the bleeding, there wouldn't be a record of it. Dr. Thompson tells me there ain't no record of all the other times. And the record there is, don't say who done it. "
Kid took a sip of his coffee and fell silent for several minutes. "That went on every few months for five or six years," Kid said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Heyes looked pleadingly at Dr. Thompson who nodded his head and motioned toward Kid.
Heye's arm reached across the table and he laid his hand on Kid's. Kid impulsively started to pull away, then stopped. Slowly Kid turned his hand over and wrapped his fingers tightly around Heye's hand.. Kid squeezed Heyes' hand with all his might and slowly raised his eyes to meet Heyes eyes.
"That's why I gotta do this... I gotta make him pay for what he done. That's why I wanted to kill him."
"Will sending him to prison be enough, Kid?" Heyes asked
Kid shrugged. "It will have to be because I ain't going back to prison for the likes of him. If I did that, he'd win... He ain't going to win, Heyes."
"Kid, we've had some pretty hard knocks in our lives... I can't tell you how proud I am of the man you've become... I know your pa is smiling down at you right now."
Kid gave Heyes a sad smile.
"Mr. Heyes, Kid will be retelling all of this at the trial. He'll be depending on you to be his anchor in the storm. You'll be seated in a prominent area, very visible from the witness chair. You're role in this is to be that anchor.'
Heyes nodded. "Watch his back. Kid knows he can count on me."
"I'm kind of tired right now. I'm going to go lay down for a while... What do you think, Heyes, could we play some poker tonight?"
"If playing poker also includes some beer and whiskey, I think we should."
Kid smiled again, got up, and walked into the bedroom and shut the door.
Only after Kid had left did Heyes begin to react to what he had been told. He took several long breaths, blowing each one out through pursed lips. Then he looked at Dr. Thompson.
"I can't tell you how glad I am that it was you that Clem and me found when we went looking for help for Kid. He could never have gotten through this by himself. No one could."
"Kid is remarkably resilient. I knew from the day I met him that he would eventually come to terms with what happened to him. Unfortunately, his story is not terribly uncommon and it is natural to internalize all those feelings of anger, pain, even guilt. But I could tell immediately that Kid wanted to shed all that. He will always have... moments of struggle with those memories, but now he knows how to get the control back again, how to put that part of his life in it's proper place."
"He knows because you showed him, you taught him."
"I'll continue to see Kid regularly, perhaps all his life... as will you, I hope. Mr. Heyes, you have been the one stability in his entire life. You have been a friend, a brother, a father... his anchor."
"I want to start paying you, Doctor."
Dr. Thompson smiled. "No need, Mr. Heyes. Kid has been paying me regularly for quite some time now. Kid says you are staying here with him until the trial is over?"
Heyes nodded.
"I'm sure he is very appreciative."
"I wish I'd known where he was all those year. I could have..."
"You could not have done anything to change what happened. Kid knows that. He holds no animosity toward you. Don't beat yourself up over that. You didn't know and you couldn't have helped. There's nothing more to be said about it."
Heyes sighed and nodded.
"I'll be leaving now. I hope the two of you have a prosperous evening," Dr. Thompson said, smiling '
A couple of hours later Kid emerged from the bedroom. He was dressed in jeans, a blue shirt, and his old leather vest. He had money in his pocket and was ready for an evening of alcohol and poker.
Heyes was sitting in a chair near the fireplace, reading a book. Kid frowned.
"You got your nose in a book again?" Kid complained.
Heyes turned his head and smiled at Kid. "You know I can't resist Mark Twain," he said, closing the book and setting it on the chair as he stood up. "I found this on a shelf. Did you read it?"
Kid nodded. "To tell you the truth, I started reading some books in prison. Helped pass the time."
"Twain's a good author."
"I always fancied you and me as Tom and Huck," Kid said smiling.
"There are similarities," Heyes agreed.
"You ready to go?" Kid asked.
"Yep,"
The two men walked out to the barn and saddled their horses. They rode leisurely into town, engaged in bantering conversation all the way. To Kid it felt natural for they had spent years traveling like that.
They tethered their horses outside the Golden Nugget saloon. Kid led the way. Swinging open the bat doors he ambled down to the far end of the bar and claimed his spot, ordering two beers from the bartender.
"Kid, this is the same bar we came to the day we met at the hotel."
"Yep."
"A lot has changed since that day."
"All for the better."
Heyes smiled. "Yes it is."
Heyes picked up his drink and turned away from the bar to scout out the poker tables. The pretty blonde saloon girl that had approached them the first day, strolled up to them again. She eyed Heyes and then Kid. She placed her hand on Kid's shirt and began making small circular movements with her fingers.
"My aren't you the handsome one," she cooed.
Kid gave Heyes a glance and smiled. "You know Heyes, I think I'm ready," Kid said.
Heyes smiled broadly and laughed. "You enjoy, Kid. I'm playing poker."
Heyes watched as Kid wrapped his arm about the lady's shoulder and stepped away from the bar. He continued to watch the two slowly climb the stairs..
An hour later, Kid joined Heyes at the poker game. They played poker and drank beer till midnight and then rode in the dark back to Kid's cabin.
"So, how was it?" Heyes asked on the ride home.
Kid smiled and sighed softly. "Good, Heyes. Good."
Heyes smiled. "Glad you're back, Kid."
Two days before the start of the trial, Kid and Heyes rode to Cheyenne for final preparations with the prosecutor. On the day Kid was scheduled to testify, Heyes was seated in the third row behind the defense table. This was so that any time Kid was instructed to look at the warden, he would be able to glance at Heyes without appearing to look away from the warden. Kid sat behind the prosecution table, waiting to be called. But an empty seat was held beside Heyes.
But Kid found that looking at the Warden was not difficult because it was the warden's turn to squirm and Kid had the control, the power over the warden's fate. Kid answered each question the defense as well as the prosecution asked him, often looking directly at the warden as he spoke. Kid's voice remained, calm, even just as he had been instructed. He drew on his years of showdowns to keep his nerves steady, his muscles relaxed, his reflexes ready. He showed no hint of intimidation. He was Kid Curry and he was comfortable in that role once again.
When Kid was done testifying, he stepped down and slowly walked to the empty seat beside Heyes, intentionally making just enough noise for the Warden to Know Kid was directly behind him, watching him. As Kid sat down, he saw the warden squirm in his seat. Kid maintained a poker face so as not to suggest to the jury that he was attempting to intimate the warden. He leaned an ear toward Heyes who simply whispered "that was perfect," in Kid's ear.
The trial continued for three more days as the testimony of several other prisoners was presented. Kid did not attend the trial those days, but Heyes did and relayed to Kid what was said, by whom it was said, and how he thought the jury was reacting to what was said. Kid listened attentively and felt confident of the outcome.
Kid and Heyes, along with Dr. Thompson attended the verdict reading. The warden was found guilty and sentenced to fifteen years in the Wyoming penitentiary, the very prison he had been warden of for nearly twenty years. Victims were permitted to come forward and make or have read statements or testimonials directly to the warden who was forced to hear each of the seven statements presented.
When Kid's name was called, he chose a spot directly in front of the warden. "Before I begin, judge, I want the warden to look at me. And I am prepared to just stand here until he does."
In his younger years, when he was considered the fastest draw in the west, Kid had been called out for more showdowns than he cared to remember. Those showdawns had taught him patience. Heyes smiled when Kid spoke for he knew Kid was prepared to stand there all afternoon if he had to.
It took several minutes and numerous whispers from the warden's lawyers before the warden slowly raised his eye to meet Kid's glaring, ice cold eyes. The smile that slowly spread across Kid's face was one of triumph, one of total control.
"When I was released from prison, I fully intended to gun you down, to kill you flat out. I still believe a man like you don't deserve to live. If you had been sentenced to hang, I would have been standing in the front row to watch, enjoying every second of it. But you weren't. And much as you may not believe me, I hope during your time in prison, you never come across someone like yourself. I have met my share of bad men in my life. I've done my share of bad things. I have always found that, even bad men have a little good in them somewhere. That is until I cross paths with you. Until then I had never come across pure evil before. You are just pure unadulterated evil. When your time on this earth is over, I do hope you rot in hell."
Kid stopped talking but continued to stand glaring at the warden until the warden was finally forced to look away. Only then did Kid return to his seat.
Kid, Heyes, and Dr. Thompson rode together on the two day trip back to Denver. They camped out that night and sat around the fire, sharing a bottle of whiskey. Heyes looked at Dr. Thompson, his eyes asking if the timing was right to tell Kid something he had confided in Dr. Thompson. The doctor nodded his encouragement.
Heyes took a deep breath. "Kid, Mark has offered me a job as his bookkeeper. I'm thinking of taking it."
Kid smiled. "I know," he said. "Clem never could keep a secret."
Brown eyes met blue and both men broke into broad smiles. "I got room for you at the cabin, Heyes."
"Partners then, uh?"
"We've said it before, Heyes. We'll always be partners".
