Disclaimer: I don't own Dissidia or Final Fantasy, they belong to SquareEnix. If I did, I wouldn't be poor. WARNING: There's just a bunch of crack and hilarity in this story. OCS and characters from other series will appear. There will be random character bashing in the story.

"Talking"

"Thoughts"

"SHOUTING"

Chapter 4: Employment and Chaos p3 (Terra, Golbez, and Yuna.) (Bonus: Warrior)

Terra was sitting quietly at a table, watching the children get their ice cream cones from the nice ice cream man, which she hired. She was completely relaxed and had absolutely no worries.

"Wooo hohoho! Terra! I've found you!" Until she heard a voice behind her. She jumped from the table and whipped around to see Kefka.

"Woo hohoho! How's my favorite weapon of mass destruction doing?"

"K-K-Kefka!" Terra screeched. Kefka skipped around Terra, who was getting up, and asked, "So this your job, eh? It seems pretty large, if you catch my drift." He said in a very Canadian-like way.

Kefka was right about Terra's job. It did seem pretty big for her, the current owner of the Moogle Plushie Emporium. When Terra had started this business, it became popular in matter of, oh say, four days. It now has Amusement Parks, Daycare/Orphanage Center, Shopping districts, and Live action plays of a Moogle's adventure (AN: The Moogles are doing their versions of the Final Fantasy series in their plays).

Terra looks at Kefka with great disdain, Kefka stops skipping for bit. Terra is confused with why Kefka stopped skipping and looks at where his line of sight is at. Terra's eyes widen when she saw what Kefka is looking at: The Moogle-land Amusement Park, filled with people left and right, which makes Kefka break a grin that threatens to break his face in half.

Terra gives a glare and said, "Kefka, don't you dare-!" Kefka ignores her and dashes off to the Amusement Park, threatening to tear it apart inside out.

"Oh sweet Cosmos no!" Said a panicked Terra as she chased after Kefka, before running into one of her employees. "Shin! You've got to help me! There's a mad man running around in the Amusement Park!"

"What! Of course I'll help, miss Terra!" The employee, Shin said. They both ran after Kefka, determine on stopping him from destroying anything.

Elsewhere...

Warrior had walked in Jecht and Tifa's bar with an acquaintance right beside him. Jecht and Tifa soon noticed Warrior walking into the bar and welcomed him.

"Hey Warrior!" Said Jecht.

"Welcome Warrior!" Said Tifa.

"Ah, Jecht, Tifa. Good to you." Warrior said. His acquaintance soon spoke up, "You know these two, Warrior? I didn't think someone like you knew awesome guys like them."

"Thanks for saying how awesome I am! And you are?" Jecht said as he looked at Warrior's new friend. The acquaintance of Warrior was a muscular young man, with white hair and ice blue eyes. He wore a red trench coat, wearing blackish brown pants and combat boots. He carried two pistols, one black, the other white. He also had a large claymore with a skull on the hilt and the end of the handle split and pointing outwards strapped to his back.

"Who me? Name's Dante. At your service." He replied.

"So I take it you got a job, Warrior?" Gabranth asked. Warrior nodded and said, "It is one of great importance."

Vaan came and asked, "Well, what's the job?" Dante answered, "We're Demon hunters."

"Demon hunters? Awesome!" Tidus said as he stepped in the bar. He then glared at Jecht, who merely shrugged it off.

"What the hell are you doing here, old man!" Tidus barked. Jecht replied, "I work here, squirt. In fact I own this place!"

"Ahem..." Said a pissed Tifa.

"Oh yeah, forgot. She also owns the place." Jecht said. Tifa smiled at being recognized as an owner. Tidus continued to glare at Jecht, who merely glared back. At this time, a man with short blue hair, orange sunglasses, and a strange metal cylinder on his arm walked into the bar.

"Anyways, we came to, as Dante says,'kill some time'." Warrior said, breaking up the fight between Jecht and Tidus. Jecht and Tidus stopped their fight, for the time being. At that time, the blue haired man took a seat by Gabranth, who just noticed his presence seconds later.

"And who would you be?" Gabranth asked. The man merely replied, "Just a nobody passing by." Gabranth raised an eyebrow at that, before looking back at Warrior and Dante.

"Well, time for some down time." Dante said as he took a seat near Garland, who was having a chat with a girl with white hair wearing a white and magenta futuristic outfit.

"One strawberry sundae and a mug of beer, Jecht!" Dante said. Jecht whipped up a strawberry sundae within seconds while Tifa got the beer for him. Dante started enjoying his meal with satisfaction.

"EVERYONE! TURN ON THE TV! NOW!" Yelled Kain as he burst through the door with Cecil and Firion in tow.

"What for?" Asked Vaan.

"It's Golbez! He has a program on the television!" Firion said.

"What! First Gilgamesh, now Golbez! What is the world coming to?" Jecht said as he switched the channel to Golbez' show.

Elsewhere in the town,

Golbez sat on a chair looking at his client. The said client was a small young fifteen year old boy with short white hair, red eyes, and pale white skin wearing a black shirt, dark blue jeans with extra pockets, and black and white shoes. He was currently having a bit of stage fight.

"Now tell me, child. Is there anything going perfectly in your life?" Golbez asked. Golbez didn't have his armor, instead he wore a classical TV host suit. The child looked at Golbez before replying, "Um, I guess..."

"You don't seem to sound like nothing is going wrong in your life." Golbez said. The boy looked at him and replied, "No, honest. Everything is alright..."

"Are you quite certain about that? It seems as though someone is forcing you to keep the truth from me. Perhaps your father is responsible for that..." Golbez said. The boy looked at Golbez, shocked that he figured it out so quickly.

"Well, I guess a few things are not so great in my life..." He said. Golbez nodded his head and said, "Good, now continue..."

Back at the bar,

Jecht and the other warriors from the cycle, as well as a few people watching the show on the eight flat screen TVs all over the bar, had their jaws dropped on the floor, completely shocked that Golbez has a talk show.

"Now that is surprising..." Tidus said. Everyone else nodded in agreement. Everyone kept watching Golbez' talk show as he started to get the truth out the boy.

"Is it really that surprising?" Dante asked. Warrior replied, "For them, at least."

"His dad was an alcoholic who talk him down and beat him up for a single mistake? Now that is evil." Jecht said.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" Tidus said. Jecht looked at him and said, "I didn't beat you up..."

"NOT PHYSICALLY SINCE YOU LEFT ME ON AN ISLAND FILLED WITH MUTANT MONSTERS FOR TWO DAYS WHEN YOU WERE DRUNK! AND WHEN I WAS SIX!" Tidus said.

Jecht blinked and said, "I did?"

"YES, YOU DID! AND I MANAGE TO STAY ALIVE UNTIL YOU FINALLY CAME BACK WHEN YOU WERE FINALLY SOBER!" Tidus retorted. At that time Tidus said that, Terra and her employee, Shin, walked in with a bloody pulp known as Kefka in tow. Gabranth looked away from the TV for a bit and noticed them, especially Kefka.

"Did I ask what happened to him?" Gabranth said. Shin replied, "This lunatic? Oh, we just merely pound him before he caused any damage, now if you excuse me, I have a park to look after."

And with that Shin left the bar. Gabranth looked and asked, "Who was that?" Terra replied, "My employee. Well, Employee of the month anyway..."

"So you have a job as well. Well, what is it?" Gabranth asked.

"I run the Moogle Plushie Emporium." Terra replied.

"Wait! You're the owner?" Said a surprised Yuna as she walked into the bar. Jecht and Tidus stopped their argument long enough to pay attention to Yuna.

"Yo, Yuna!" Tidus greeted.

"Yuna! How are ya!" Jecht greeted.

"I am well. How are you two?"

"Awesome!" They both replied. They turned to glare at each other seconds later.

"I take it they don't get along?" Dante said. Warrior nodded in agreement.

"So what's your job, Yuna?" Terra asked. Yuna looked at Terra and replied, "I recently obtained a job at the Moogle Plushie Emporium."

"Oh, so you're working with me!" Terra replied happily. The then started chatting as they took a seat near Vaan, who soon got up and left.

"Vaan, Where are you going?" Terra asked. Vaan turned and replied, "To my new job, of course."

"WAIT! YOU have a JOB!" Gabranth exclaimed. Vaan nodded and said, "Pretty much! And I don't want to be to late!" He soon walked out of the bar seconds later.

"Well, time was short, but we had a good time. Let's go, Warrior." Dante said. Warrior followed Dante out of the bar seconds later.

"I wonder where they're going?" Tifa asked. Garland replied, "Who knows?"

Elsewhere,

Warrior and Dante stood before a large tower jutting out of the ground. They both walked in and Dante said, "No doubt, you got some fun planned for me... Right Vergil?"

"Vergil, Isn't he your brother?" Warrior asked. Dante replied, "Yeah, pretty much. But he wants to kill him despite of that."

"I see..." Warrior said, deciding to keep silent for the meantime. When they both arrived at the front part of a room, the ice began to shake and a monster awakened and revealed itself to be a three headed dog. It spit large blocks of a ice at Dante and Warrior, who sliced them with ease.

"Leave now, mortals!"The creature yelled, "The likes of you are forbidden in this land! You, who are powerless are not worthy to set foot here!"

"Is that so? We might as prove our worth!" Warrior said.

"Wow, a talking mutt! You would definitely take first place in this year's dog show!" Dante joked.

"You, a mere human, make a mockery of ME?"Cerberus shouted enraged at his taunting. It breathed a blast of cold ice and blocked the entrance to prevent them from escaping.

Warrior looked at Cerberus blankly and replied,"We weren't even thinking about fleeing, so what's the point?"

"I think he has a block of ice for a brain!" Dante said.

"Indeed, like his mother..." Warrior joked. Dante laughed his ass off at the look on Cerberus' faces. "I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" Cerberus screeched as it charged towards the duo.

That's all for this chapter! Sorry if it wasn't funny enough. And there will be a slight delay on Shantotto and Laguna's job. Vaan's job is next chapter. Keep reviewing!