Disclaimer: I don't own Dissidia or Final Fantasy, they belong to SquareEnix. If I did, I wouldn't be poor. WARNING: There's just a bunch of crack and hilarity in this story. OCS and characters from other series will appear. There will be random character bashing in the story.

"Talking"

"Thoughts"

"SHOUTING"

Chapter 6: Another day of Chaos (Emperor and Firion)

Jecht was walking home from the bar one night, still wondering how Laguna became friends with Slender Man of all beings. Though Jecht admitted it was impressive. Shin took the unconscious Terra home, which was conveniently just next door from his house. Anyways, Jecht kept on walking home, knowing that Yuna was worried about him while Tidus would just glare at him as usual. He found their little competition a little amusing since Tidus would get a small string of wins despite Jecht being in the lead. Jecht chuckled at the thought in amusement, figuring he and Tidus have one more match before they call it a night.

As Jecht was only a mere two miles away from his house, he saw a group of people in suits surrounded two people, one girl and one boy, who was standing in front of the girl in a protective way. The girl had long pink hair with a swirling antenna on top of her head, teal eyes that showed she was unaware of the situation, and skin so fair, it made her look like a Goddess. Almost though, since Jecht remembered Cosmos' beauty. The most distinguishing feature of her was was a tail which extends down from the base of her back. Her tail is long, thin, and ends with a heart-shaped tip*. In a way, it reminded Jecht of how a Devil's tail was like. Anyway, she wore a pink shirt adorned with sewn hearts, a black skirt that was inches above her knees, and white high heel sandals. The boy had spiky orange hair and gold brown eyes*. He wore nothing but a red shirt with black lose workout pants with white lines running along the side.

Jecht grunted at that, disgusted that a bunch of thugs were ganging on two teenagers. He can also tell that the boy was in shape to defend her by himself, so what else to do than join in on the fun? Jecht walked over to the scene, cracking his knuckles as he readied them for the smack-down the thugs were NEVER going to forget.

At Jecht's house,

"I wonder where Sir Jecht is? He said he will be here by ten." Yuna asked concernedly as she looked at the clock.

"Lighten up. It's just my old man." Tidus casually said as he watched Tom and Jerry.

"Tidus. Are you sure? Aren't you at least worried about Sir Jecht?" Yuna asked.

"Pfft, not really." Tidus replied.

"TIDUS!"

"WHAT?! My old man's tough! He can take care of himself! Remember last week when those idiots tried to mug him?!"

"Oh..." Yuna replied as she remembered that day. Those poor guys didn't stand a chance. She even remembered that one of them need major surgery for his... weak spot. Especially with the severe burns found upon...it.

"SO, my old man won't be going down anytime soon. And I'm betting 1000 munny that he's just gonna walk through that door right NOW!" Tidus declared. At that moment, the front door opened to reveal Jecht himself, a satisfied smile on his face. Tidus and Yuna looked at him with wide eyes, much to his confusion.

"What? I got something on my face?"

"Um, no. We're just...worried. We were wondering where you where." Yuna answered.

"What, do I look like I'm nine?" Jecht said.

'You act like it at times.' Yuna thought.

"Anyway, I was dealing with some thugs who were picking on a couple of kids and the girl whipped some sort of octopus-shaped vacuum cleaner that blew everything away. Sometimes I wonder if I drank a little too much when that part came. Anyway, the kids are safe and the goons were dealt with. Nuff' said." Jecht said. Tidus and Yuna then started thinking if he did drank too much.

"I think you did..." Tidus said.

"Maybe... Oh well, what does it mattter? Welp, see ya in the morning!" Jecht as he laid on the dining table and fell asleep within seconds. Tidus and Yuna just stared at the now sleeping Jecht, starting to worry about his sanity.

The next day...

"I see you're lively as ever!" Dante said as he watched Jecht walk on his hands. Warrior of Light stood at Dante's side ever stoic as ever as he devoured a vanilla sundae, somewhat amused at Jecht's lively as ever demeanor.

"Yep! A good night sleep after bashing some goon's head in and I'm ready to face the world!" Jecht declared. Some of the patrons in the bar then raised their weapons, eager to fight the amazingly Sir Jecht.

"Thanks the compliment, author. Anyways, I thinking of doing something tonight. I really don't know what." Jecht said, breaking the fourth wall like the badass he is.

"Maybe you should make this place a fight club or something?" Gilgamesh suggested.

"Yeah, I'll put on my list." Jecht said as he scribbled it on a piece of paper pinned to the wall. It was obvious that was something he was gonna go with often.

"How bout a eating contest? See who can eat the most without vomiting?" Bartz suggested.

"That sounds tempting." Jecht said, slightly disgusted yet more tempted as he wrote it on the paper.

"Maybe make this a rock concert or something?" Dante cut in.

"That sounds good. I'll write that down for later."

"...I got nothing. Sorry, Jecht." Zidane said.

"Meh, it's alright." Jecht shrugged it off.

"I GOT IT! How about we have a raging contest!" A new voice cut in. Everyone turned to see a man in full knight's armor. They took notice of the blue surcoat, which implied he was a high ranking knight.

"And who you would you be?" Dante asked, trying desperately hard to NOT make a joke about the man's attire.

"Oh, sorry. My name is Oscar. I hail from the land of Astora." Oscar introduced. Eyebrows were raised at the mention of Astora.

"Astora, Astora, I've heard that name somewhere..." Gilgamesh muttered, trying hard to remember the location.

"Putting that aside, I want to know the details of this... 'raging contest'." Jecht said, curiosity taking him.

"Ah, its as simple as it sounds. We shall see who goes the longest without expressing anger the entire day. The loser or losers have to do what the winner commands them to do."

"No getting angry the entire day? Piece of cake! I can easily win that!" Bartz proclaimed. Everyone raised an eyebrow, feeling their pride challenged. Oh, things were gonna get heated in a bit.

"Oh really? I think I'm the real winner in that!" Zidane boasts. Again, everyone felt their pride being challenged.

"Let's see about that! I, Garland, will knock you all DOWN!" Garland declared, using his epic and famous line. Dante could of sworn he saw Warrior roll his eyes, but waved it off as his imagination.

More and patrons jumped in, proclaiming him or herself as the obvious before the actual event went on. Jecht smiled, knowing this was going to be fairly interesting.

Elsewhere,

Firion walked through the all grassy fields, looking for any signs of danger. He had took a job off a notice board pleading for the local bandits to cleared out. The mission was fairly simple as it was in the Copper level of the notice board. As he was leaving, four adventures asked him if he would help out with their job. He remembered what transpired an hour ago.

~[Flashback]~

"How about helping us with our job?" One of the adventures asked. Firion took in the brown leather armor with chain-mail armor worn on top. He looked like a typical sword and shield warrior starting out on his adventure. He also had blonde hair, blue eyes, and soft youthful features on his face, furthering the look of a warrior starting out.

The adventurer next to him was, from what Firion can tell from the Longbow, a Ranger. He wore red leather armor with chain-mail underneath like his companion. He also had blonde hair but with brown eyes and was skinny and slightly taller in contrast to his warrior comrade, which fitted his role as Ranger perfectly.

The third was, unlike his younger comrades, a man with a beard fitted for a typical barbarian covering his mouth. The barbarian imagery was then accompanied by the man had a fairly bulky build resembling a barbarians underneath his green leather armor. Firion can smell grass and plant life on his pouches, giving the impression that he was the healer.

The final and most eye-catching of the them was also the youngest of the adventures. He(?) wore leather clothing in contrast to his companion's choices of leather armor with trinkets, potions and what not hanging from his belt, obviously summing up that he was mage of their party. He had brown hair unlike his companions, blue eyes, and pale skin unlike their tanned complexion. Firion did have to admit he had the best looking face out of all of the party. And Firion meant that in the metrosexual category.

"Huh?" Firion raised an eyebrow at the question. Surely they don't need his help for their job. Firion took note of their silver medal shining brightly around their necks, which furthered his assumption. Curious, he responded, "Sure. What exactly is your job?"

The adventures looked at each other for a moment, smiles bright on their faces. The leader, whom was the one in brown leather armor, answered Firion's question, "Our job is hunt Monsters around the city."

"A Monster hunting expedition? That seems simple enough." Firion said, voicing his confusion. This just increased his assumption that they didn't need his help, unless...

"Well, it is. But we think its worthwhile." The leader said.

"How so? Mind telling me the details?" Firion asked. The leader nodded and asked the receptionist to prepare a room for them.

-Minutes later-

Firion found himself in what is most likely a meeting room with himself on one side of the wooden table and the four adventures on the opposite side. He noticed that despite them sitting casually, they were seated in a position where their hands were close enough to draw their weapons.

"Before we discuss about the job, we'll start with introductions." The leader said on his team's behalf, "It is nice to meet you. My name is Peter Mork, leader of the Swords of Darkness."

Firion held back a chuckle as he thought of Warrior of Light's reaction to the name of their team. He paid attention the moment Peter politely pointed to the Ranger. "This Lukerut Bolbu, our team's Ranger. He is the team's eyes and ears on the open field."

Lukrut nodded in acknowledgement to Firion as Peter then went to the next team member. "This is Dyne Woodwonder, our team's Druid. If you feel unwell, talk to Dyne if you need healing."

Dyne waved to Firion in a welcoming matter with Firion returning it with the same welcoming tone. Peter then pointed to the Mage. "And last but not least, This is Ninya, The team's strategist and Magical Genius."

"Nice to meet you." Ninya bowed respectfully to Firion while showing a bright smile. Firion noticed that the smile was false, a mask to hid Ninya's true emotion. Firion's brows furrowed in curiosity why he was hiding his true emotion.

Ninya then turned to Peter with an embarrassed expression and asked, "Peter, could you please stop using such a silly nickname when introducing me?"

"Huh? Why not, it's cool." Peter insisted.

"Nickname? You mean that's your moniker?" Firion asked.

"Embarrassingly, it is. It is due to my born Innate Ability."

"Innate Ability?" Firion questioned, curious on Innate Abilities.

"Yeah, Ninya's Innate Ability allows him to perform Magic at a faster than most Magicians. He can learn Magic spells within a single month while it takes the average person months to learn even basic spells." Lukerut explained.

"Hmm..." Firion murmured, impressed by the basic explanation. Such a talent reminded him greatly of Terra. Perhaps when he has the time after this job, he'll introduce him to Terra. Terra will undoubtedly take a strong liking to Ninya.

"Well, I'm lucky to possess this ability from birth. It will allow me to take the first step towards my dream. If it wasn't for this ability, I would be just a commoner spending his whole life with little avail." Firion and Peter noticed the gloominess of Ninya's words. Firion wondered about what happened to Ninya while Peter changed the subject to a brighter one.

Or at least tried.

"SUP BITCHES!" A loud voice boomed, one Firion recognized. It was evident he did know the voice's owner as he face-palmed. Charging up the stairs came a large red figure which Firion knew without a doubt to be Gilgamesh.

"Yo Firion! You know where Bartz went?"

"No I - Wait, I think he said he owed Kain a favor. I guess you should try finding Kain." Firion answered, not oblivious to the incredulous stares the Swords of Darkness were giving him. Gilgamesh noticed them not too long after.

"Who are they? Friends of yours?"

"Sorta. They asked me to help out with cleaning up monsters around the village."

"Mind if I come along? I saw a REALLY big Dragon in the forest on my way here." Gilgamesh asked. Gilgamesh thought back on the Dragon for a few moments, remembering its large girth, its fangs, and the fact it was stumbling around the forest as if looking for someone.

"A DRAGON! Here and nearby?" Luke exclaimed. The rest of the team shared his discomfort at the thought of fighting a Dragon. Firion decided to step in at this point.

"Don't worry, my friends and I have a fair amount of experiences fighting Dragons almost on a daily basis." Firion muttered that last bit under his breath.

"A Dragon! Hell yeah!" A new voice kicked in. They turned to see an impressive man fitted in the most impressive looking armor they had seen, resembling the bones and scales of a Dragon. His greatsword just as impressive as his weapons. From pommel to the very tip, it was carved straight from Dragon Bones and scales. Just from looking at him, they can tell he has great experiences fighting Dragons.

"Hail Aldus! How's the Dragon-Slaying business been doing?" Gilgamesh asked.

"It is going well, ser Gilgamesh. The Dragons have been dealt with for the time being, so I thought I take a break from the business for a while." Aldus answered.

"You took on Dragons on your own?" Peter asked in fascination.

"Oh course I have. I am the Dragonborn." Aldus answered, receiving confused looks from the Swords of Darkness. "I'll explain on the way."

"I suppose we should take care of those monsters quickly, else they'll interfere us as we fight off the Dragon." Firion suggested as Gilgamesh and Aldus took off. Reluctantly, the Swords of Darkness followed them, hearts mixed with feelings of anxiety and exhilaration.

Unbeknownst of them, a warrior in glorious armor fitted for a Dark Knight was eavesdropping on them with his companion.

"A Dragon? We best be careful, Narbarel."

"Hai, Ainz-sama." And with that, they approached the group in hopes to join in on the hunt for the Dragon.

Elsewhere,

Emperor Mateus sat comfortably on his new seat of power. The thought of him working like a commoner disgusted him to no end. He was a man of TRUE importance unlike the previous sack of skin who occupied this seat.

"Mateus sir, I-" One of his employees started before he cut him off.

"Don't say my so formally, commoner. I am your superior and thus I shall be addressed as such."

"Apologies your Highness. The people wish to hear your speech ever so eagerly."

"I do not blame. Especially since their previous ruler was so pathetically dull and unfaithful. But as ruler, I deserve that waste of skin's seat by DIVINE right." Mateus proclaimed as he marched to the balcony. Below said balcony was a large of people ranging from peons to the wealthiest of paparazzis. Mateus smiled at the sight of them, the feeling of absolute control chilling him to the bone as he saw their anxious faces.

Mateus' bodyguards approached the gate holding back the people and opened it for them to enter. As they were doing this, they announced,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, The new President of the United States awaits you."

It was good to be on top once again. Now all he had to do is earn their trust, put on an innocent face to the public, and kill Firion. Life right now was SMOOTH sailing and he planned on KEEPING it that way.

And that's the chapter for now. Finally Firion and Emperor's job has been exposed to the world. Sorry for the delays, but college has been a little brutal and I didn't have enough inspiration for the next chapter. But I got something to work with for the meantime. R&R if you enjoy the chapter! If not, oh well, It's not the end of my world. I just got to git gud at this. Later!

*Lala Deviluke - Anime: To Loveru

*Rito Yuuki - Anime: To Loveru