Thank you for all your reviews again! Your anger over Pucas is a joy to read lol the countdown begins to a sweet Brucas reunion, but that certainly doesn't mean we're going to have no good moments before then...
For now, Brooke struggles with her feelings for Julian and reluctantly asks Lucas for some help when Peyton causes some damage... enjoy!
Chapter Ten – The Cynic Within
A few days later, Brooke and Rachel were walking through the hospital corridors when they saw Julian coming in their direction. Brooke grabbed Rachel's arm and pulled her into the nearest room before Julian could see them. When they stumbled back to the correct footing, they realised they were in a rather cramped supply closet.
"OK, do you need something in here or are you deliberately trying to avoid the hot neurosurgeon who is so beyond into you?" Rachel said, again stressing to Brooke the big deal of this.
"He's only known me for a like a week, he can't be super into me, he knows nothing about me!" Brooke protested. She knew better than to jump into something so quickly again. It didn't get her very far the last time.
"Do you realise how rare it is to have a connection with someone so quickly? You guys were vibing and I have a good feeling about this one Brooke" Rachel said with a smile.
"You would have a good feeling about anyone I dated." Brooke said with a laugh. Rachel was desperate for her to feel love and have it last and restore her hope in relationships. She figured it would be a hard task, but she had a feeling that Julian was a good one.
"Eh no. I did not have a good feeling about Lucas"
"Liar." Brooke said, Rachel had been a big supporter of her and Lucas—right up until the gala that is. She had him move into their house for crying out loud. "And I shouldn't drag him into my crap—"
"You do not have crap Brooke, you've been through some tough spots and he will understand that!"
"But Aiden and Lucas are the problem!" she said frantically as Rachel frowned.
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, not getting her random outburst.
"I've been thinking about this for the past few days as I have expertly avoided Julian. He seems really nice and he likes me and I just—I can't give in to him because of Aiden and Lucas. I know it's been 10 years since Aiden died and I have been moving on with my life but— the thought of me finding someone who was as great as him scares the crap out of me. I'm scared to feel that way again because it broke me the last time. I thought Aiden and I would be forever and forever was incredibly short and it's just—it's hard. Doing this without him." She confessed. Brooke rarely spoke about Aiden to anyone other than her parents and for a while Lucas, so this felt a little strange, but Rachel was her best friend. She always had her back, she knew she could rely on her.
"I know I didn't know Aiden but from what you've told me about him—I reckon he would be the first person to tell you that it's ok to love someone else." Rachel encouraged. "Life always throws crap things in your face, there's no escaping it. But love makes everything better. You can't live like a ghost for the rest of your life." She reasoned.
"I know… and I decided not to when I started this thing with Lucas. I got fixated on one butterfly in the pit of my stomach when I was with him and I let myself fall for him and it came back to bite me in the ass because I was so careless. I can't be careless again. If I'm going to do this, I need it to be right." She said with certainty. She wasn't prepared to just jump into anything. Not again.
"You're never going to know unless you try. It might end up being the greatest thing that's ever happened to you." Rachel encouraged. For all Brooke knew, Julian could have been her person. He could be the one (if there was such a thing).
"And what if it's all too good to be true?" she asked, the cynic in her still remaining strong.
"Brooke. Shut up."
"You shut up..." She mumbled back with a pout.
"I'm not the one being ridiculous."
The door suddenly opened causing the two doctors to jump and Kate appeared in front, giving them a disapproving look.
"Something tells me that you two did not come in here for medical supplies" she said with a knowing look.
"You look really nice today Dr. Grant." Brooke said, turning on the infamous Davis charm.
"Nice try. Go" she said as Brooke and Rachel quickly left the closet.
As they walked into the hallway, Brooke saw that Julian was now standing at the nurse's station in the lobby. She looked at Rachel who just lightly nodded her head in encouragement and that was all Brooke needed. It had been two months since everything went down and she deserved to be happy. She deserved to find her person. She had to believe that the pain love caused was nothing in comparison to the joy it brought. She could take is slow. Maybe that was the problem with Lucas, maybe they hadn't been slow enough, but this time she was determined. She was determined to make sure it was right.
"Hey cheery" Julian greeted when he saw her, remembering she had told him her nickname last week. Brooke smiled sweetly back at him. There was something a little strange about hearing Julian call her that and not Lucas.
Focus Brooke. He's not Lucas. He's better than Lucas.
"I was hoping I would run into you actually. Do you fancy getting a drink later?" Julian asked boldly. He had been toying with asking her out for a while and decided in the end that she was most definitely worth it. He wasn't prepared to let someone so great slip by him.
"Uh, yeah, but I'm pretty busy—" she said vaguely. If Rachel could see her right now, she would be scolding her beyond belief.
"You ok?" he asked, seeing that she appeared a little sad and nervous.
"I'm fine" she insisted.
"Are you sure?" he pried, not wanting to walk away from her when she really wasn't ok, but also not wanting to push her to talk about something she didn't want to talk about.
Brooke smiled softly at him; "You wouldn't want to know."
"Try me." He said, returning her smile as a way of showing her that she could trust him.
Brooke thought about it for a second. She hated saying it out loud, but she did like Julian. There was something about him that made her trust him. She knew honesty was the best policy and she wanted any guy that she was involved with to know what he was getting himself into. "Uh… around this time 10 years ago my boyfriend was killed in a car accident. I saw him afterwards, he was fine, but then all of a sudden, he wasn't." she explained.
"I am so sorry" he said softly, not knowing she had gone through something so horrible.
"It's ok. It's just strange. Back then, I never even really thought of the possibility that I wouldn't be with him for the rest of my life. That it was possible for there to be someone else out there for me." She confessed. This time of year was always hard for Brooke, especially since she was throwing another guy into the mix of all the chaos in her love life.
"It's hard when your relationship didn't end because either of you wanted to end. It was just taken from you." He sympathised.
"Yeah. I mean, it's been a long time since and I've come a long way from the first little while after it happened but—I'm still working on it. I probably always will be. I just struggle not to let this define me as a person." She said. Brooke couldn't remember the last time she was this honest with someone. Wait… she remembered perfectly well. Lucas. Look how that ended. Brooke cursed the cynic inside her. Every time she thought of Aiden she felt a little twinge in her heart – and she was beginning to feel the same twinge when she thought about Lucas.
Brooke could see in Julian's eyes that he knew this would always be something painful to Brooke and he respected that. "This won't define you Brooke. It will refine you, but not define. It's not the end of your story. You'll be able to look back on him one day with a smile on your face."
Brooke smiled. She already did smile when she thought about him. It was just in the midst of her own heartbreak and fear that the sad memories were brought back. They stood in a comfortable silence for a brief moment while Brooke thought about his previous offer. He'd been so kind and respectful since they'd met. What harm was one drink? Even as friends?
"You still up for that drink?" she asked.
Julian's face lit up; "Yeah, but no pressure—"
"No, I want to." She insisted.
"Ok… but just friends of course, cause you don't date doctors. Why is that again?" he teased.
"I uh- I dated an doctor in the hospital just before you got here and it didn't end so well." She explained as Julian raised his eyebrows. The halls of this hospital were gossip hungry and he was surprised he hadn't heard about this before.
"Oh. That is some of the gossip I didn't hear. Though, I preferred not to listen if it was about you. I wanted to have my own, unbiased opinion." He charmed.
"That's very noble of you." She joked.
"What happened with the guy? If you don't mind me asking"
"He uh… he ditched me at the hospital gala for his ex. He got in a fight with her date then pretty much confessed that he wanted her over me." Brooke explained. It was arguably an exaggerated version of events, but it's how she had interpreted them. It was also the first time she'd really recounted the story without being in floods of tears and it felt oddly empowering.
Julian froze for a moment. Peyton and Lucas' story was a story he had heard—but he had no idea that Brooke was the girl Lucas left.
"Scott? Scott was the doctor?" he asked, almost in disbelief that Lucas would let her slip away.
"Yeah." Brooke said simply as she lifted her things. "I'll meet you at Tric?" she asked, not wanting to discuss Lucas any further. She didn't want him to take over her life.
"Great… and I promise I don't have any ex's who I am in love with and I have no intention of going to a hospital gala either." He said as he held up his hands and backed away.
Brooke laughed; "Good to know."
Brooke sat in Tric later that night waiting for Julian. She was nervous. Her foot was tapping on the stool. It had been a while since she had felt this nervous. What was it about this guy? She remembered the day they had met, when she first looked at him. She took a minute to study his face and there was just something about his eyes. She immediately was getting lost in them. Lucas had told her that you can tell a lot about someone by looking in their eyes.
She was shaken out of her thoughts when the very man she had been thinking about walked over to join her.
"Hey, I just ordered you a beer I didn't know if you would have wanted anything else..." Brooke began, but Julian turned her head and cut her off with a kiss. It was short and soft and tender and perfect.
Brooke sat there stunned for a few minutes before she managed to say anything else. "um, a thank you would have been enough..." she mumbled out.
"I like you. I really like and it's like your forbidden fruit or something which makes it worse but..." he rambled. "I like you and I know now isn't the best time for us but that's ok. Cause I'll wait." He told her.
"I-" Brooke didn't know what to say.
Julian simply smiled. "Goodnight Brooke Daivs." he said as he left the bar.
Brooke turned back to the bar and looked up at Vic who had his eyebrows raised.
"Don't give me that look" She said as she downed her drink. What was she getting herself into?
The following morning, Brooke rushed downstairs to tell Rachel what had happened, but when she got there she only found Nathan eating breakfast with Haley James. Haley was one of the new interns at the hospital and she and Nathan instantly hit it off. They were so sweet together and they were starting to make Brooke believe in love again.
"Why hello Dr. James…" Brooke said giving her a suggestive smirk.
Haley giggled, "Good morning Dr. Davis… I should get going or I will be late for rounds. I will see you both at work" she said as she stood up and quickly kisses Nathan. "Bye" she said quietly before disappearing.
"You know, I like her, she's good for you." Brooke said as she poured herself some coffee.
Nathan chuckled "I'm glad she had the Brooke Davis seal of approval. What about you? Has anything happened with the new neuro guy yet?" he asked after Rachel had made a comment in passing about it.
Brooke filled Nathan in on everything that had been going on with Julian and what just happened at the bar and all Nathan could do was laugh. Typical Brooke finding herself in hot bother with another guy.
"Not going to lie, that was kind of smooth." Nathan said, referring to the kiss Julian had just given her.
"It's crazy... he makes me feel nervous and I don't remember the last time I felt this nervous about a simple drink with a friend." Brooke said as she paced behind Nathan while he washed some dishes.
"Because it's not just a simple drink with a friend. You like him" Nathan said stating the obvious. He had never been one to beat around the bush.
"I- I don't like him we're just hanging out" Brooke said, clearly in denial. She seemed to be getting herself into a habit of liking a boy, denying it and then instantly falling for him.
"It's ok to admit you like someone Brooke..." Nathan encouraged. Sometimes it did feel like she was talking to a brick wall whenever he tried to give Brooke or Rachel advice, but he hoped something would go through eventually.
"How did you know Haley was the one for you?"
Nathan smiled. "It's in the eyes. When we first looked at each other, it instantly felt right. It felt like I was staring into the eyes of someone I could love forever. I still look in her eyes now and fall more in love with him than I thought possible."
Brooke smiled. She loved the love that Nathan and Haley had for one another over the past few months, it was fast but it was perfect and it was pure and it was unconditional. She just wondered if that was the love she could ever have herself.
"I... I come with a lot of baggage." Brooke grumbled. Not thinking it was possible.
"You do not have a lot of baggage. You've been through a lot, but that doesn't make it baggage. It only makes you stronger. Don't push Julian away because you're afraid of the way he makes you feel. That feeling is not easy to find. So don't let it go."
Brooke let out a breath and stood up straighter, "You're right. You are so, so right." She said definitively. "I'm chasing after love. I'm doing it! Sure love bit me in the ass the last time, but it can't keep happening right? The universe owes me some good!" Brooke said confidently as she went towards the kitchen door. Before she could open it, however, someone on the other side did it instead.
SMACK.
The door hit Brooke in the face at an almighty force.
"SHIT!" Brooke exclaimed as she held onto her nose in desperation.
A figure poked her head around the door with wide eyes and grimaced.
"Oops…" she said as Brooke briefly opened her eyes and saw Peyton staring back at her.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
"Uh… Peyton just needed to collect a few things she left in the move" Nathan explained with an awkward laugh as he quickly handed Brooke a teatowel to try and stop the blood that was now pouring down her face.
"Yeah, and to give me a broken nose apparently!" Brooke exclaimed in frustration before storming out of the kitchen to deal with her bloody nose.
An hour or so later, Brooke quickly rushed through the hospital, desperately trying to hide her face. She had her hood up and sunglasses on as she made her way round to the lab she knew Lucas would be in. He was the last person she wanted to go to for help right now, but she was desperate. Kirk had gone back to New York and Lucas was the best there was. She soon walked into the lab and spied Lucas at the other end.
"Hi" she said as she walked towards him.
"Hey…" he replied, surprised to see her. "Are you—are you hiding from someone?" he asked, referring to her clothes.
"Yes. No. Sort of." She rambled. "Look, I wouldn't ask unless I was desperate but—I kind of need your help." She asked sheepishly.
"Of course." Lucas said quickly. He would do pretty much anything to get back in her good graces.
"So, this morning, I was talking to Nathan in the kitchen and I went to leave but Peyton was on the other side and she opened the door before I could get there and smacked me in the face…" she explained as she took the glasses and hood off to reveal her very bruised, slightly askew nose.
"Damn cheery…" Lucas said as he walked towards her to look at it.
"I'm fairly sure it's broken, and every time I move in the slightest bit, I am almost reduced to tears so… please fix me." She begged as her eyes started to water with the pain.
"Ok, let's get you some pain killers and an x-ray first." Lucas instructed. "I'm sorry this happened to you." he said quietly. Of all people to break her nose of course it had to be Peyton.
"Yeah it appears you two just love to make me collateral damage." She snapped before turning and walking towards the x-ray room with Lucas in tow, hoping they could at least be civil.
A short while later, Lucas walked into the exam room that Brooke was waiting in with her x-rays in hand. He couldn't quite believe that she actually came to him for help, but he was thankful that they were actually talking—even if it was just about her nose.
"Ok, good news, I don't think you're going to need surgery. It's only a small fracture and I can reset it here—" Lucas said as he put the x-rays on the board to show her.
"Dear god, I think I'd rather be put under." Brooke moaned, knowing that it was going to be painful.
"Do you want me to call your dad?" Lucas asked.
"No, if I lash out when you reset it, I'd much rather lash out at you than him." She teased.
Lucas chuckled; "Fair enough… do you want to do this now?"
"Yeah, let's just—let's just get it over with." She said as she lay back on the bed. "And Lucas I know this is probably some form of sweet revenge for you after I hit you with a gurney, but I swear to god if you screw up my nose—"
"Brooke, I know this is a bold ask coming from me but—trust me. You will have a perfect nose again." He assured her.
"Ok, ok, just do it." She said as she closed her eyes. "Oh god, oh god, oh god"
Lucas sighed and stepped back; "It's true that doctors make the worst patients."
Brooke quickly sat up; "Here's an idea, how about we break your nose then get me to reset it and see how you feel!"
"You would probably love that" Lucas retorted.
"You're impossible." Brooke declared as she lay back on the bed. "I should have gone to Woodrow, he would have just done it by— OW!" she exclaimed as Lucas walked over and quickly reset it. "Are you kidding me?!"
"Now I wish I could have knocked you out to do it." Lucas grumbled. He should have realised that she wasn't going to shut up the whole time he tried to do it. "But here we are, done and dusted. I just need to bandage it up."
"This sucks."
"What? You worried the new hot doc won't want to chase you anymore?" he asked as Brooke froze.
"… how do you know about that?"
"Just because you choose to think that I don't exist doesn't mean I actually don't exist." He said as she started to bandage up her nose. "He seems nice."
"We really do not need to be having this conversation—"
"That's all I'm going to say. He seems nice and it's nice seeing you with a smile on your face." He said sincerely as Brooke chose to remain quiet. Lucas soon finished up and grabbed the pad to write everything down. "I'll get you another x-ray for about 6 weeks' time and a prescription for some pain killers." He said. "Just give me a call if there are any problems."
"Ok" she said quietly. "Thanks." She said as she walked towards the door.
"If he doesn't like you with a broken nose he's crazy" he called after her with a smirk.
"You still want me to give you one?" she retorted.
"I'll pass this time" he joked.
"Suit yourself." She said with a shrug before leaving the room.
She didn't believe she and Lucas could ever be friends, but she didn't want to hold a grudge. Casual work acquaintances maybe wouldn't be so bad.
As soon as she opened the door, she saw Rachel and Bevin standing there, waiting to see the damage.
"Alright, laugh it up, now and only now." Brooke said as she rolled her eyes.
"Even with a broken nose you still manage to look good. Totally unfair." Bevin grumbled before sulking away.
"How are you feeling?" Rachel asked, as she tried not to laugh.
"Like I just got punched in the face with a door." Brooke retorted as she and Rachel started to walk on.
"I can't believe that Peyton of all people was the one to hit you. It was like one final fuck you, huh?"
"Tell me about it..."
"I also can't believe you actually went to Lucas for help" Jo said.
Brooke shrugged; "He's the best there is and fixing my nose is the least he could do."
"You're not wrong there. Has Julian seen it yet?"
Brooke shook her head, "No, and he's not going to…"
Rachel laughed, "Brooke, you work with him! You can't hide this."
"I can try" Brooke said, desperate to at least leave some air of glamour between her and Julian. It was too early for him to see her with a bruised face as shallow as it sounded. On a deeper level, it was a convenient excuse to avoid her budding feelings for as long as possible.
A few days later, Julian approached Rachel at the nurses' station. He knew Brooke was avoiding him and he had a funny feeling it was about more than a broken nose.
"She's avoiding me, isn't she?" Julian immediately asked.
Rachel frowned, "Who?"
Julian sighed, "Brooke. Brooke is avoiding me."
Rachel shrugged, "She's got a broken nose, she's embarrassed…"
"It's about more than that Rachel and you know it. I don't care if she had a broken nose, I told her that, but she still refuses to talk to me for longer than 10 minute phone calls."
"Davis' are experts at running and hiding from things. But... they also eventually come around. The initial fear goes away and they realise what's important." Rachel encouraged. She didn't want to speak for Brooke, but she also didn't want to let Julian think that the situation was hopeless.
"She scares me" Julian admitted. "I don't know why but the thought of her - it... it really scares me."
Rachel smiled "You really have it bad for her don't you?"
"There was just something in her eyes the first time I met her."
"It's always in the eyes. Something long, something lasting, something real." Rachel informed him. She'd been hearing that a lot lately and she was starting to believe that people were telling the truth.
"What if I just freaked her out when I kissed her at the bar."
"You did freak her out. She said she told you about Aiden" Rachel commented, moving into risky territory.
"Yeah, I—I can't even begin to imagine what that was like for her… and what Lucas put her through too."
"She was really broken. She lost all of her confidence, she lost everything that made her, her. Over the past 10 years she's been building herself back up again, but it hasn't been easy. I remember talking to her mom about it and she said it was like Brooke was trying to learn to walk again. I know 10 years may seem like a long time but when you lose someone so suddenly like that, someone who you had a future with—they never really go away"
"I would never want her to forget him." Julian made clear.
"Then just as her confidence was coming back, Lucas pulled his infamous gala stunt that we will say no more about. You freaked her out Julian, but you freaked her out in a good way. I don't think she ever thought it was possible for her to feel that way again. She is a little bit of a pessimist when it comes to love. She thought she would always be with Aiden, she thought Lucas loved her. You freaked her out because she's realising that its ok to love as many times as it takes to get it right and that someone could love her despite the obstacles she puts up. Finding that is rare and it scared her that you could be it for her."
"What do I do?"
"The ball's in her court. You just need to prove to her you meant what you said." Rachel encouraged.
At that moment, Brooke walked around the corner and froze when she spotted Julian and Rachel. As soon as Brooke and Julian made eye contact, she turned to walk away, but he was quick on her tail.
"Brooke wait!" He called but she kept walking "Please don't run."
"I'm a Davis it's what we do best" she replied.
"Brooke, please. I know you're scared—" Julian said, trailing off, unsure what to say next.
Brooke took a deep breath and turned around. " I've been through a lot. I've lost a lot. No one wants to date someone like me—"
"I know what you've lost. What you've been through—it's tragic and it's painful. But that stuff has shaped you into the person that you are today, and I really like that person."
"You're asking for a lot—"
"You're not as damaged as you think you are."
"You'd be surprised."
"Then I'll take the damage if I can get the rest of you. You're a curiosity Brooke Davis. I want to know you. I want to know everything about you." he said with a smile, as they were now face to face, only inches apart.
Brooke looked at the man in front of her. He was so genuine and caring and kind and she felt herself giving in to him. "I want you to know—almost—everything about me."
"I'm taking you out tonight." he told her confidently as Brooke chuckled.
"Ok." She replied with certainty. Lucas and Nathan were right – it was in the eyes.
I hope you found the nose breaking situation a little bit humorous lol
Next chapter, Kate and Brooke get in a spot of trouble and Brooke loses her cool with Lucas...