Night had fallen and the group sat around the ember fire. Cheyanne sat in between her mother's legs, sketchbook in her hand. Nicole stroked her brown hair in attempts to comfort herself.
Nicole glanced behind her to the camp that Ed forced Carol and Sophia to sit at. She felt bad for those two; Nicole knew what Ed did to Carol. She saw how scared Carol was of her husband; she was like a little mouse.
Nicole knew what it was like -- being terrified of her own shadow. She knew what it was like to feel trapped by not only the person she was bounded to but to be trapped in her own skin. The fear of being hurt was what kept you there. Maybe that's why Nicole was scared of even getting a papercut. That pain from years of abuse -- it sticks.
Even when the person who trapped you inside yourself is gone, you still find yourself scared of every little crack and crevice. It was horrible. Finally being free and still fearing for your life.
Nicole had gotten used to the feeling of constantly being scared. She had grown used to looking over her shoulder every spare second. It was as if she was worried that he would appear from thin air and reclaim her life once again.
She shook that thought to the back of her head. Nicole knew where that monster was. He got locked up. Plain and simple. She knew that he couldn't hurt her anymore; she knew that he couldn't make her into a drug-induced puppy again. Nicole knew that she got free. She knew that she was never going to revert back the little girl who obeyed his every barking order.
Crickets chirped around the group. Some of the people had turned in for the night since life at the Quarry started early. Shane picked up a stick from the ground in front of him and he nervously messed with it. Nikki knew why; Lori did too. Nicole wondered if the two would tell Rick. And if they did, how would he take it?
"Disoriented," Rick's voice broke the tense silence. Nicole's gaze turned to where Rick, Lori, and Carl all sat. They were huddled together scared; it was as if they were terrified fate would pull them apart once again. "I guess that comes closest. Disoriented."
Nicole noticed as Lori started to stroke Carl's hair while looking at her husband. Nicole glanced down to her little girl, who scratched at her face a little bit. Everyone seemed to listen quietly to Rick's story. "Fear, confusion-- all those things but..." Rick began again as some thunder rumbled its way overhead. "Disoriented comes closest."
"Words can be meager things," Dale spoke as he set down his empty cup of beans. "Sometimes they fall short."
Rick observed the old man before continuing, "I felt like I'd been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else," Rick paused. Lori lowered her head in a most likely sense of shame and guilt. "For a while, I thought I was trapped in some coma dream," Rick's arm pulled Lori a little bit closer. "Something I might not wake up from ever."
Carl gazed up to his father and said, "Mom said you died."
Lori nervously started stroking her son's hair. "She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it," Rick said to his son. Nicole noticed the brief look between Lori and Shane. Nicole knew her best friend was wrestling with her guilt. All she wanted to do was take Lori into a hug and comfort her. But they couldn't do that right this moment.
"When things started to get really bad, they told me at the hospital that they were gonna medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta," Lori paused while stroking her son's hair again, "and it never happened."
Rick glanced around the campfire, "Well, I'm not surprised after Atlanta fell." Lori nodded ferociously. "And from the look of that hospital, it got overrun."
Shane's graveled voice finally spoke out, "Yeah, looks don't deceive. I barely got them out," he paused and then whispered, "you know?"
Nicole didn't doubt his statement because she was in Atlanta when it fell. She saw the carnage first hand. Thankfully, she had gotten out of the city before the bombs dropped.
"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane," Rick spoke with as much sincerity as he could muster. "I can't begin to express it."
Lori looked down. Nicole sighed, and gently placed her hand on her best friend's. Lori's eyes went over to Nicole's and she gently grasped her hand.
Shane was silent. Nicole could hear the embers of the fire crackling and the crickets chirping. She'd become accustomed to that sound. It was in itself a comforting sound. Nicole now associated that sound with safety -- to be at home.
"There go those words falling short again. Paltry things." Dale gazed around the fire. Everyone sat silent. Until wood clattered into the Peletier's separate fire.
Nicole jumped at the clattering sound. She turned to look at the family. "Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?" Shane called out.
"It's cold, man," Ed called back.
Nikki noticed as Carol shifted in her seat -- scared of this confrontation. Nicole felt for her. "Ed, being cold doesn't change the rules," Nicole spoke up, "We keep our fires as embers for a reason."
"It's so we can't be seen from a distance, right?" Shane spoke back up. He was getting frustrated with the lack of this man's cooperation.
"I said it's cold. The two of you should mind your own business' for once," Ed retaliated. This was enough for Shane. He got up and stormed over to them.
Everyone kept meeting each other's eyes in the nervousness of what may happen. It wasn't a secret that Shane and Ed didn't get along. Everyone knew what he did to Carol. Most had seen the bruises on her biceps. Nicole noticed when Carol got up and pulled out the log.
"Jesus," Nicole muttered. She turned around to face the larger groups fire. Cheyanne was leaning against her mother's leg sound asleep. Nicole was glad that her daughter could sleep during times like these.
Shane eventually returned and sat back down with a sigh. Dale immediately spoke his thoughts, "Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon?" Nicole tensed at his name. Her mind instantly raced with thoughts of how he would react to finding his brother gone. He'd be pissed to all hell, no doubt. Daryl can get violent when he gets angry. "He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind."
"I'll tell him. I dropped the key. It's on me," T-Dog spoke up.
"I cuffed him. That makes it mine," Rick said, trying to take the blame.
"Guys, it's not a competition," Glenn spoke up, "I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy."
"I could tell him," Nicole's voice cracked out. "He wouldn't get violent if it were me."
Rick's eyes peered over to his friend, "How can you be so sure?"
"Just trust me on this."
T-Dog shook his head, "I did what I did. Hell if I'm gonna hide from him."
"We could lie," Amy said.
Before Nicole could shoot that down, Andrea did. "Or we could tell the truth," She stated, "Merle was out of control. Something had to be one or he'd have gotten us killed." Andrea looked side to side before looking directly at Lori. "Your husband did what was necessary and if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's."
"And you wanna tell Daryl that?" Nicole scoffed, peering over to Andrea. "Either choice we make, he is going to be hotter than hellfire when he gets back home."
"Nicole's right. We're gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt," Dale agreed her.
T-Dog's voice quivered as he started to talk, "I was scared and I ran. I'm not ashamed of it."
"We were all scared. We all ran," Andrea attempted to calm him down, "What's your point?"
T-Dog sighed, "I stopped long enough to chain that door." Everyone's gaze landed on the man. The fire shimmering over his face revealed the clear regret that loomed over it. "Staircase is narrow. Maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at one time. It's not enough to break through that -- not that chain, not that padlock."
Nicole's eyes flexed as the fire danced in front of her. Her eyes felt heavy as she realized that Merle Dixon was on top of a roof exposed to the baking Atlanta sun. T-Dog continued, "My point -- Dixon's alive and he's up there, handcuffed on that roof." Nicole glanced down to her sleeping daughter in hope of a moment of comfort. "That's on us."
T-Dog got up and made his way toward his tent. The fire was silent. No one knew what to say. Eventually, people started to get up and dismiss themselves to their tents. Nicole gently scooped up Cheyanne and made her with to Glenn and their's tent.
Nicole laid her little girl in their sleeping bag and tucked her in. "Mama," she whispered with her eyes still sealed shut. "Is Mr. Merle gonna be okay?"
Glenn entered the tent and gave a sullen glance to the pair. "He'll be just fine, love. You rest now, okay?" Nicole reassured the little girl before turning to face Glenn. "Is there even a snowball's chance of him being alive on that rooftop?" She whispered to her friend.
Glenn gazed up to her, "Maybe a snowball." Nicole nodded, before turning toward the exit. "Where are you going?"
"A walk." Nicole stepped out of the tent and went walking toward the center of it. The fires' embers were finally going out, and so was the lanterns in people's tents.
"What're you doing out this late?" Shane's graveled voice asked from atop the RV.
"Trying to clear my mind," she responded as she looked up to the man, "you want some company up there?"
Shane uttered out a sure, and Nicole climbed up onto the top of the RV with him. "What are you thinking about, Officer Walsh?" She cheerily asked.
Shane just looked over to her with amusement. "It's nothin'," he grunted out before looking back toward the camp.
"It's about Lori, isn't it?" Nicole questioned. Shane's head snapped over to look at her.
"How'd you know?" he inquired, rubbing his hair.
"It wasn't as hard to put together as you think," she muttered, "I'm sure now that Rick is back, it complicates things."
Shane sighed, "We found comfort in each other. I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did."
"I know, Shane. I know."
How'd y'all like this chapter? It's finally tying into the show, which I'm happy because now it gets better. Thank you all for reading! Please feel free to drop a vote and a comment! It's always appreciated by me. It lets me know that you guys are enjoying it.
Have a great day/night. Be nice and be respectful :) love you all
Peace! -erin