I'll not leave you guys wondering any longer...

Chapter Twenty-Three – The Blame Game

Click.

The turning on of the voice recorder echoed through the room.

"Let the record show that we are officially convening the inquiry into the events of May 28th in Raleigh Med ICU unit." William Piper, the chief of surgery, said for the recording as the room remained in an eerie silence. It had been two weeks since Brooke's accident, and now the hospital was looking into the incident – mainly to find someone to blame for the whole thing. It apparently wasn't enough to place the blame on the irrational, worked up man who stabbed her in the first place. They had to look to a higher authority.

"Dr. Scott" Piper said again as Lucas snapped out of the trance he was in. He'd been in and out of a trance for the past two weeks, barely containing his emotions and barely sleeping a wink. He looked a mess today – but he didn't care. It was just the most bizarre thing in the world watching the love of his life lying on the floor of the hospital after having a scalpel pierce her heart. "Do you have any questions?"

"… can we just get this over with?"

"Ok" Piper said as he cleared his throat, immediately picking up that Lucas had no desire to be here. "The purpose of this interview is to establish where you were, what you were doing, why you did it—"

"There's no point trying to sugar coat it Dr. Piper, I know this is a witch hunt." Lucas said bluntly as he lounged in his chair, entirely uninterested in this conversation. He had better places to be. More important places to be.

"That is not the case Dr. Scott –"

"Yes, it is. You're looking for someone to blame because apparently it isn't enough to blame the man who did this." Lucas shot back.

"What were you thinking when you ran for the man Dr. Scott? What were you trying to achieve?" Piper asked. If Lucas wasn't going to cooperate easily, Piper was prepared to play hardball.

"I was thinking – this man is dangerous. He's got a knife and he could hurt any one of us, so I better do something about it." Lucas said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Did it ever occur to you that if you had stayed put, Dr. Davis wouldn't have moved in an effort to help you and she might be ok?"

Lucas felt his anger flaring. Not so much at Piper, but at the whole situation. "You think I don't blame myself for this? Of course I blame myself! It should have been me on the floor. I was the one who provoked him. So, I would appreciate it, sir, if you didn't sit there accusing me of not feeling anything at all. You don't know shit about what I have been going through the past two weeks." He snapped as Piper sat back in his chair, realising that he had perhaps gone too far. Just because he wasn't the one who was stabbed, doesn't mean that he didn't carry the pain of this with him.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Scott." Piper apologised. "I'm sure this is difficult for you."

Lucas gulped and tried to contain his emotions, "My girlfriend was stabbed in the heart and the only thing keeping her alive was Dr. Lee's finger plugging the hole." He recounted as if Piper didn't already know this. Though, Lucas wasn't convinced that Piper realised the magnitude of what happened and how it had affected the people in the hospital. "And then there's the fact that our baby—" he said, choking up again at the thought. "Our daughter had to be delivered at 26 weeks and it currently on a ventilator, fighting for her life." He managed to mutter out as Piper merely gulped and remained silent. "If blaming me is what gets this over with quickly, fine. Blame me. Cause I have much more important places to be Dr. Piper."

"… you can go now Dr. Scott." Piper said, realising that this wasn't productive to his investigation. Not when Lucas was in such an emotional state. His whole world was collapsing around him and he had no idea what to do. He just needed her.

Lucas stood outside the NICU and watched his daughter through the window. She was just so tiny and he was in no way prepared to become a father this way. He had expected to be holding Brooke's hand in the delivery room while she screamed profanities at him for getting her into this position. He expected the midwife to put a healthy, pink, plump baby in Brooke's arms and for it to be the most joyous occasion in the world. While his heart was already full of love for their little girl, he couldn't say that this was a joyous occasion for him. Not when she wasn't here with him to watch her.

He felt a presence join him and in his peripheral vision, realised it was Nathan.

"She gets cuter every day." Nathan commented. He and Haley had been into the NICU a few times to check in on his goddaughter – especially when Lucas found it too hard to do so. He could only watch from the window. He said he couldn't hold her yet – not when Brooke hadn't. This was something they were supposed to do together. So, the two of them were the only comfort the little girl had right now.

Lucas nodded, "She looks just like her mom."

"Yeah… did you speak to Piper?"

"Yeah. He's looking for someone to blame. I'm pretty sure he wants it to be me." He told Nathan as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"They can search all they want for someone to blame and the only person they're going to find it the man who did this." Nathan made clear. No one blamed anyone other than him. No one blamed Lucas for moving, no one blamed Rachel for failing to save the man's wife – they just blamed him. "It's a waste of time, but let them waste their time if that's what they want to do." Nathan said with a shrug.

"Has uh – has Rachel come back to work yet?" Lucas asked, not having seen the red head for the past two weeks.

"No" Nathan confirmed. "She still blames herself." Ever since the accident, Rachel completely withdrew from everybody. She felt so guilty about what happened. She figured if she had have been able to save this man's wife everything would have been fine or if she'd managed to talk him down quicker, he wouldn't have grabbed that scalpel in the first place.

"Lily blames herself too." Lucas revealed, feeling even more sad at the thought of his little sister. "She thinks that if she hadn't have dropped out of college and acted like a brat about it, Brooke wouldn't have felt the need to take her to the ICU." Lucas didn't blame his sister in the slightest, but he didn't have the emotional energy to comfort her right now. That was all Karen had been doing since it happened.

Nathan shook his head, "there is no point passing blame. You said it yourself, Piper is out of his mind trying to pin it on someone." Lucas nodded his head and stared straight ahead of him. His daughter already had some dark hair resting on her head. He could already tell she would be the carbon copy of Brooke. "She'd be really mad at you, you know." Nathan commented as Lucas' head shot round.

"What?" he asked, having no idea what he was talking about.

"Brooke. She would really mad at you for not being in the NICU with your daughter right now." Nathan said. He had given Lucas some space over the past two weeks, but now he was ready to give him some tough love. Brooke would freak if she knew Lucas had been avoiding going in there.

"I know." Lucas conceded. He'd thought about it a lot. He thought about how Brooke would feel. Yet he still couldn't go in. "I just – I'm so scared that I'm going to lose her. I can't lose her. I can't lose either of them."

"Your daughter is fine Lucas. She's getting stronger every day. She just needs a little help breathing right now but that's normal and Brooke—"

"Brooke is in a coma Nathan. She's been in a coma for two weeks and I know it's so her body recovers from the surgery, but it's hard not to feel like she might not wake up at all." Lucas said with desperation in his eyes. He just couldn't let himself believe that she would be ok because he just felt so helpless. She was in the ICU, she was alive, she would wake up – but he just felt so alone. He felt so lost without her.

"Luke – the tip of the scalpel reached the cardiac muscle and caused a minor laceration on her ventricle. It was the size of the tip of my index finger, I was able to plug it, they were able to repair it, she will be fine. She will wake up and she will get to hold her baby and you will have the family that you have been waiting for. I just know it."

After speaking with Nathan, Lucas made his way up to Brooke's ICU room and sat beside her bed, like he had done every day and every night for the past two weeks. The doctor had stopped her medication that was keeping her in a coma the previous evening, so they were expecting her to wake up soon, but she still appeared unresponsive.

Lucas leaned on the bed and held Brooke's hand tightly between both of his.

"You know… I thought I always understood love." Lucas began speaking quietly as the monitors beeped around him. "I thought it was just about finding someone that you clicked with. Someone that you could build a life with… but it's so much more than that and I only realised that when I met you. Love is a powerful thing. It's consuming and it prevails through anger and sadness and tragedy. It also makes those little moments in life so brighter and the big moments in life – well that's what it's all about, isn't it?" He said with a little laugh and a sniff. "I need you to wake up Brooke. I need you to be ok. I need you for the little moments and the big moments, I need you for it all because life doesn't feel worth it without you in it. I have never loved like I love you. I need you to wake up so I can show you that love every day for the rest of our lives." He begged as he rested his forehead against their clasped hands and let a few tears fall.

"You should be a writer" he heard a croaky and quiet voice say. His head shot up and he looked at Brooke. Her eyes were opening, and she was looking at him with the weakest, cheekiest grin he had seen in a long time.

"Brooke"

"You always did have a way with words" she said, finishing her justification for why Lucas should be a writer.

Lucas smiled widely and let out a breath, "Maybe in another life" he said as Brooke smiled. "Thank god." He said with such relief in his voice as he stood up and kissed her head, lingering slightly just to breathe her in. "How do you feel?" he asked, realising it was probably a stupid question.

"Like I've been run over by a truck." She joked as Lucas sat on the edge of the bed, still tightly grasping her hand, hoping he would never have to let her go.

"I also feel a little bit lighter…" she commented as she glanced down at her stomach and realised it looked significantly flatter.

Lucas gulped, "Yeah, they uh – they had to deliver the baby Brooke. The stress on your body caused you to go into preterm labour and the baby was really distressed."

Brooke face fell a thousand miles as panic spread through her body, "Is she ok?"

"… she? You know she is a she?" he asked.

"Mother's intuition" she said with a lopsided smirk.

Lucas nodded his head, "She is ok. She's tiny and she's having trouble breathing on her own, but she is ok and she will continue to be ok… because her mother is the strongest person in the world." He said confidently. For the first time, he felt like he could say that and actually mean it and it truly warmed his soul.

"When do I get to meet her?" Brooke asked desperately.

"As soon as you're ready to move… so not quite yet" he said quietly, knowing Brooke would be frustrated. "I know how you want to Brooke and I wish you could, but you need to rest. I promise, you will get to meet her very soon." He encouraged as he ran his hand affectionately over her hair.

"She doesn't have a name" Brooke reminded him. Anything that was suggested had been instantly shot down.

"I uh – I did have a think about that while I was waiting for you to wake up for you long ass nap…" he teased as Brooke lightly swatted him with what little energy she had.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked as Lucas lifted out a little sheet of paper from his pocket and handed it to her.

"I don't know, I just looked at her and the came into my head and – it fits." He said with a little laugh as Brooke felt herself tear up at the page.

"It's perfect" she agreed as he nodded his head and bent down to lightly kiss hers.

"I love you" he whispered.

"I love you too."

A week and a bit later, Brooke had made a strong recovery. Although she was still pretty weak, she could move around a little better and was finally able to see her little girl. She was so overcome with emotion when she saw her daughter lying in her incubator in the NICU. She was just so tiny and her entrance to the world was abrupt and fast and unplanned and it all just overwhelmed Brooke. While she was so excited her baby was here, she was nervous for her recovery.

It seemed as though Brooke's recovery worked on the same schedule as her baby's, however. As soon as Brooke went to her, her stats improved dramatically and she was taken off the ventilator, finally being able to breath on her own. Lucas and Brooke were even allowed to hold her as she got better. It didn't seem fair that she had been in the world for over 3 weeks, yet her parents had barely any time to hold her and cuddle her.

Brooke also had to balance her own recovery. She was staying in the hospital just for a few more nights to make sure all her stats were at good levels and then she was being allowed home. She was grateful because she was bored stiff sometimes, but she was also anxious about leaving her baby behind.

The night before she got home, Lucas was called away on an emergency and while Brooke was reluctant to let him go, she knew she didn't have much of a choice. She had asked him to try and find Rachel for her though. Lucas had told her that she was feeling really guilty about Brooke's accident and that was why she had barely been by. The fact that she wasn't here worried Brooke. She was heartbroken that her friend felt this way, but no matter how many messages she left her, Rachel just didn't respond. It was like she was afraid to face Brooke, despite Brooke telling her she had nothing to be ashamed of.

While Brooke waited around for Lucas, she decided to use this quiet time to sleep. She stirred after sleeping for a little over an hour and looked around to see Karen standing by the window. When she heard Brooke rustle she turned around.

"Hi Brooke" she said with a little smile. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm ok, a little sore" Brooke said as she sat up a little in the bed, but not without a wince.

"I was just visiting your little angel in the NICU. She is divine Brooke and she was just fascinated with her grandma" Karen boasted as Brooke let out a little laugh. "I can't believe what you went through Brooke." Karen said in disbelief. She knew Brooke was tough as nails but not that tough. Two major surgeries in one go following a horrible accident. It was remarkable that she was going so well.

"It's pretty unbelievable, but I'm ok. We're both ok" Brooke said, knowing that that was the most important thing.

"Exactly… I wish I knew what to call her" Karen commented as she scrolled through the photos of the baby she had taken with a little smile on her face.

Brooke raised an eyebrow; "Lucas didn't tell you?" Since they had finally agreed on a name and she was surprised Lucas was running around, proudly telling everyone.

"Not yet."

"He'd probably want to be the one to tell you—"

"He doesn't have to be here." Karen insisted, dying to know her granddaughter's name.

"Well uh—we wanted something strong, something sweet, something memorable—"

Karen gasped; "Is it Karen?!"

Brooke's eyes widened as she awkwardly laughed; "We thought there could only be one Karen… her name is Sophie." She revealed.

Karen smiled; "Sophie… I love it. Sophie Scott. It's beautiful, it just flows!" Karen said proudly.

"It's Davis-Scott actually…"

"Davis-Scott? Well isn't that a bit of a mouthful for her?" Karen asked.

"No, no not really." Brooke argued. Karen totally had a point though. Her full name was Sophie Karen Victoria Davis-Scott. It was a lot of names that she had no doubt Sophie would hate them for one day.

"… maybe Scott Davis would be better." Karen decided.

"Davis Scott is just fine." Brooke said through her teeth. She was in no mood to fight Karen over this, but she was starting to think she might have to.

"I mean, she is your baby, you can call her whatever you want." Karen said in a passive aggressive manner.

"Just as long as Scott's there front and centre?" Brooke challenged.

"I'll say this. Scott wasn't my name either. But I took it on and I built it into something and that name will open doors for your little girl. I'm just thinking of her future—"

"And Davis won't? It means something too. It's associated with some of the best surgeons in the world. It means beloved – and that is all I could ever want for my daughter." Brooke made clear.

"I was also thinking that maybe I could come and stay with you for a little while, just to help you out with the baby while you recover" Karen offered. Brooke froze. Victoria had already offered, and it had been an immediate no. The last thing she needed was to be dealing with either Karen or Victoria constantly sticking their nose in and making things more difficult for her.

"It's ok, Karen, really, I've got this-."

"I'm not sure you do Brooke" Karen said as she sat on the edge of the bed. "You nearly died bringing her into this world so now you need to rest and relax. I can deal with anything at the NICU and the first few weeks at home – it's what grandmas are for!" she insisted, but Brooke felt like she was really overstepping the boundaries of a grandma. "Scott-Davis?" she asked again just as Lucas walked in.

"We are hyphenating mom. Davis-Scott." Lucas said as he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, she is your baby…" Karen said.

"Yes. She is my baby. That—" she said as she pointed to Lucas. "Is your baby. She is my baby." Brooke said as Karen and Lucas chuckled.

"And I will do my best to remember that…" Karen said as she lifted her bag from the chair. "I'm going to head home, it's getting late. Goodnight you two"

"Night mom" "Night Karen"

"So" Lucas began with a small smile after Karen had left the room. "I was just talking to Dr. Johnson and he said he would be happy to send you home tonight instead of tomorrow."

"… oh" Brooke said, not really sure how she should feel.

Lucas frowned and sat beside her, "Do you not want to go home?"

"I do want to go home – I just want to go home with my baby" Brooke said with a sad smile as Lucas nodded his head. He understood exactly how that felt. He couldn't go home in the two weeks that he was alone. He stayed by Brooke's side all day and night.

"I know it's hard Brooke, but she is probably going to be here for at least another 8 or so weeks." Lucas reminded her as Brooke looked at her nap and nodded her head. Sophie may have been doing well, but she still had a long way to go. "And you still need to recover too Brooke. You need to be in your own bed, you need your own comforts. Sophie is in very capable hands and we will be here everyday with her."

"You're right… I don't want to be in this hospital bed any longer than I have to. Let's sign the paper work" she said quietly as Lucas nodded his head and kissed her hand before leaving the room to get things sorted.

A short while later, Brooke was staring over Sophie's incubator in the NICU, feeling emotional. She was trying to hold back her tears but knew the flood gates would open soon. This is not how she imagined leaving the hospital after Sophie was born and she knew it would be difficult leaving. She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Lucas standing beside her, also looking into the incubator with such wonder in his eyes.

"How do you do that?" Brooke asked in almost a whisper.

"Do what?" he asked as he looked up at her.

"Make me feel so calm with just one touch" she said as Lucas smiled softly and kissed the side of her head.

"Love does some wonderful things to people" he said with a little laugh as Brooke relaxed in against him.

"Just before the accident, my mom sent me the onesie she put on me when she first took me home from the hospital. It's yellow and it had little ducks on it and it's just the sweetest thing in the world" Brooke told him. "That was going to be Sophie's coming home onesie."

"Why are you talking as if that still won't be the case? Sure, she's not coming home now, but she will be very soon and she'll get to wear the onesie and we'll be the embarrassing parents taking so many photographs" Lucas joked as Brooke let out a laugh.

"This is crap" Brooke grumbled. "She's supposed to be with me, bonding and attaching or whatever. Smelling me like birds or dogs—" she rambled as Lucas eyed her curiously.

"Birds or dogs?"

Brooke lightly slapped him in the chest, "Shut up, it's nature." she reasoned. "How's she going to attach to me when she's here and I'm there?"

"Because you are also going to be here, watching over her as she continues to grow." Lucas assured her. He'd been doing a lot of that over the past week and a bit and he sensed it wasn't going to stop any time soon.

"Yeah, you're right, you're right" Brooke insisted as she looked up at the window and her mouth fell open slightly. She lifted her hand and waved lightly at the person standing there, staring in at Sophie. She really didn't expect to see her here.

Lucas looked up when he saw Brooke wave and was also surprised.

"You should go talk to her" Lucas said quietly as Brooke nodded her head and left the NICU.

"Rachel" she said as her best friend turned around to look at her, her eyes bloodshot. She looked exhausted and Brooke's heart broke for her.

"Hey… she's really beautiful." Rachel said as they both turned to look through the window again, watching as the nurse lifted Sophie out of her incubator for Lucas to hold.

Brooke smiled, "Yeah. She is."

"I'm sorry I haven't been by—"

"You don't need to apologise... for any of it." Brooke made clear as Rachel looked at her feet.

"If I had have done more to save that man's wife—"

"She was dead before she got to the hospital—"

"Or calmed him down sooner—"

"Stop blaming yourself." Brooke said firmly as Rachel remained silent. "No one is to blame for this. As worked up as that man was, he didn't mean to stab me, he didn't mean to hurt me and who cares? I'm ok, Sophie is ok."

"… Sophie?" Rachel asked, hearing her goddaughter's name for the first time.

"Yeah. Sophie… and she's going to need you Rachel. She's going to need her godmother when her parents are being totally irrational and annoying and unfair" Brooke said with a little laugh. "And I'm going to need you to be that person that helps her let off a little steam… in a safe manner of course" Brooke added, her maternal instincts kicking in already. "So please, come in and meet her properly – and then we're going to go home and stick on a movie and eat all around us."

"Lucas would be ok with that? He'll probably want you in bed—"

"Well Lucas isn't the boss of me" Brooke pointed out as Rachel smiled at her defiance. "And I'm also calling Haley and Nathan and getting their asses over because you need your best friends and the people you love most in this world."

"I love you Brooke Davis and I am so grateful that you are ok."

"I love you too Rachel Gatina." She said as she hugged her friend before pulling her into the NICU to meet Sophie.

A short while later, Brooke, Lucas and Rachel arrived home to an empty house. Kate and Ellie had gone to visit her mom for the week and Rachel had been avoiding the house too, instead choosing to stay at Johnny's.

"Ok – Lucas, you are on popcorn and snack duty, Rachel, you are on movie duty and I am on duvets and blanket and pillow duty from upstairs – go forth and conquer!" she joked before making her way upstairs.

The following morning, Lucas walked through the hospital with Sophie in his arms. As the approached Brooke's room, they saw Richard coming out of it and a wide smile graced his face.

"She's surprisingly cheery" Rachel commented as she and Lucas walked into the kitchen.

"She has ups and downs – hormones, I guess. We both know how much she likes to avoid how she's actually feeling, so she wants to focus on anything but. She'll focus on this movie night and she'll focus on Sophie, but not herself." Lucas determined. He really did know her pretty well.

"That doesn't mean she doesn't need help" Rachel pointed out. "Brooke isn't the sort of person to ask for it. She likes to prove she can cope on her own but she doesn't have to do that anymore – she has you, through all of it."

"She knows I'm there but… Davis' are stubborn."

Rachel sniggered; "Oh I know. But you just have to be persistent, she'll come around."

Lucas nodded his head as Rachel went into the living room to pick out a movie. Maybe he just needed to be stubborn with her instead. He was always the one giving in, but maybe she just needed someone to tell her that it was ok not to be ok. Someone to just look after her.

He left the kitchen and found Brooke in her bedroom, gathering all the linen she could, he kept a straight face and stopped in the doorway, an idea springing into his head and he was determined to take no for an answer. Brooke turned around and spotted him staring in silence, raising an eyebrow.

"What's up?" Brooke asked with a little laugh, wondering why he was staring at her like that.

"We're moving in together. Officially."

Brooke dropped the linen at her feet "Huh?"

"I know the last time we talked about this you said you wanted your own space, but Sophie needs to be with both of us. We're a family and I love you and—we should do this." He reasoned. He wanted nothing more than to have both girls with him all the time.

"Lucas—"

"I'm not saying we have to leave the crazy house" he said with a little laugh, knowing it would be hard for Brooke to leave Rachel, Kate and Maya. "They should stay for as long as they need, all I'm saying is let me move in – permanently."

"I uh – I don't want you to feel forced into something" she said quietly. Even after all the time, she still felt a little insecure.

Lucas smiled, "There's nothing forced about it. We spend every night together anyway. Let's just make it a more permanent place. Let's make it our home." He said softly.

Brooke smiled. Her little family in their own home. What could be more perfect? "Ok" she said quietly.

"Ok?" Lucas said, surprised she wasn't finding more to argue on about it.

"Ok." She confirmed as Lucas walked forward and hugged her, excited to start this next phase of their lives together.