Chapter 26 – Forgive But Not Forget

"LEAVE THEN! YOU AND ANNABELLE LEAVE! GO BACK TO ENGLAND!" Those terrible, terrible words played in a never-ending loop in Jane's head as she took her daughter and herself back to the treehouse. Jane bit the inside of her cheek to try to stop herself from crying whilst her daughter remained as silent as the grave.

As they walked through the jungle, Jane held onto Annabelle's hand a little too tightly but Annabelle did not complain, she would not dare. Deep inside she wanted to plead with her mother, beg her to turn back and talk to her father but she was too frightened to speak.

She had never seen her parents so angry at each other or argue like that before. They always seemed so happy, constantly laughing, smiling and joking with each other. The only arguing she ever saw them do were silly little quarrels over whose turn it was to wash the dishes, cook dinner or gather food. But they would soon be laughing, smiling and making up in no time at all. However, she could not see them laughing or making up… not this time.

After they crossed the drawbridge to the tree house, it was quite dark and Annabelle could make out the fire pit and that the washing equipment had been left outside, piles of laundry hastily abandoned in their baskets. As they reached the porch of the tree house, Jane secured the rope to the boat-lift and looked at her daughter with a calm yet steely look.

"Take off your boots before you come in," she said coldly before entering their home, leaving the front door wide open. Annabelle carefully took off her mud-clad boots, propping them near the door and gingerly crossed the threshold. Her mother was lighting the range and placing three large copper stockpots of water on to heat.

"Take your clothes off so I can put them into soak," Jane instructed whilst grating some soap into one of the pots, "then go to the washstand and rinse out your hair. I don't want you to sully the bathwater too quickly." Annabelle nodded obediently and stripped off her clothes along with her socks, the blues and greys of her clothes now all a murky brown. Jane calmly took them whilst Annabelle winched up a bucket of water from the water butt to rinse out her hair. The water was very cold but Annabelle kept quiet as she rinsed as much mud out of her hair as she possibly could.

A little while later when the water was boiling, Jane filled the tin bath with the hot water and then a couple of buckets of cold water to bring down the temperature. As she looked on, Annabelle was more than grateful as she expected to get an ice-cold bath. Jane nodded to say that it was ready and Annabelle carefully slipped into the warm water. Jane took the soap bar and rubbed a good amount into her daughter's hair. Both mother and daughter were silent as Jane massaged the suds into Annabelle's scalp, which Annabelle usually loved but now it felt nothing less than awkward.

"Tilt your head back," Jane finally said, covering her daughter's eyes as she used the chipped wash stand jug to rinse out her hair. When that was done, Jane diluted some vinegar in hot water and then washed it again, a well used method of hers to give them both soft and shiny hair. After that she got out the dreaded tortoiseshell comb and started detangling Annabelle's hair. Annabelle screwed up her eyes and bit her lip as her mother yanked the comb through every matted lock of her hair in a rather aggressive fashion!

"Owww!" she eventually yelped, "You're pulling!"

"Well it's not my fault it's so tangled now is it?" Jane replied with a raised eyebrow, "Besides I need to check you for lice."

"Any sign?"

"None so far… here's the soap. You can finish washing yourself whilst I check on your clothes. I think they will need to soak overnight. I want you spotless and I will be checking young lady."

"Yes Mama."

Annabelle took the soap and made sure that every part of her body was gleaming whilst Jane took care of the washing. Annabelle waited with baited breath as her mother inspected her over as closely as an army leader does to his soldiers before a parade. Jane nodded a curt approval and handed her daughter a sheet to dry herself with. Annabelle went over to her bed, dried herself off and got into a clean nightgown.

"Oh Janey-Jane!" Archimedes suddenly burst into the tree house. "I've heard that Anna's been found! Oh thank goodness! Anna are you alright?"

"She's fine Daddy," Jane replied coolly, "I'm going to make some dinner now, do you want some?"

"Er yes but Jane I heard about you and Tarzan… do you want me to go and get him?"

"No he can come back when he wants to. I'm going to put dinner on now."

Archimedes was a little thrown by his daughter's sharp response but said nothing and went to check on his granddaughter.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he sat down next to her on the truckle bed and gently stroked her damp hair.

"Yes Grandpa."

"You gave us quite a scare today, especially your mother."

"I know. I'm really sorry Grandpa."

"I heard about your mother and father… about their fight."

"Yes, it was very bad. Papa's never coming back… and it's all my fault," Annabelle whispered sadly whilst her mother busied herself at the range.

"No don't think that Anna! He will come back!" Archimedes insisted as he cuddled her tightly, "Your mother and father just need time to cool down. Everything will be alright again you'll see."

A little while later Jane finished laying the table and looked over to see her father finish applying homemade magolo root ointment onto Annabelle's blister and then wrapping a bandage around it.

"There," he smiled at his granddaughter, "that should be gone when you wake up tomorrow."

'Dinner!" Jane called and Archimedes got off the bed and walked over to the table. Annabelle started to get up but then hesitated nervously.

"Annabelle are you having some dinner or not?" Jane asked as she placed the cooking pot down on the table.

"I, I, I didn't think I would be getting any."

"I'm not that cruel," Jane sighed somewhat wearily, "it's been hours since you've last eaten and you must be hungry. Come on, before it gets cold." Annabelle meekly came over and sat next to her grandfather whilst her mother served out leftover chicken and vegetable stew with dumplings, reheated from the night before.

"Jane dear," Archimedes noted as she topped up his bowl of stew, "don't you want to save some for Tarzan?

"There's only enough for three."

"I have more than enough, I'm sure we can save him some for later."

"I said there's only enough for three," Jane bit back and Archimedes said no more. The family ate in an uncomfortable silence with the empty chair next to Jane a sad and pitiful sight.

"Right it's time for bed Annabelle," Jane said after they had all finished eating. Annabelle nodded and went to the washstand to clean her teeth whilst Jane and Archimedes tidied away the dishes. As she got into her bed her mother came over, carrying a blanket under her arm. "Here," Jane placed the knitted blanket on top of Annabelle's sheet and patchwork quilt, "I think the temperature is going to drop tonight."

"Thanks Mama," Annabelle tucked the covers up to her chin whilst her mother smoothed down the blanket. As her mother went to take the oil lamp next to her bed away, Annabelle could feel the words she wanted to say in the jungle bubble up into her mouth like a hot spring.

"Please don't leave Papa," she begged in a pleading whisper. Jane stopped and stared at her daughter and felt a surge of guilt spread through her. Her daughter's wide eyes filled with fear tugged at her heartstrings and all of her own anger disappeared in a split second. Her mind recalled the fight and she recognised the horror of her daughter witnessing that terrible moment.

"Oh sweetheart!" she breathed, "Of course I'm not leaving your father! Sadly adults fight sometimes and you shouldn't have seen that. Your father and I behaved as badly as a pair of warring baboons! We will sort things out soon don't you worry."

"I'm really sorry Mama, I'm really, really sorry."

"I know and I'm sorry too. I thought for all this time that I was protecting you but I was wrong. It's just you are my baby girl and you will always be my baby. You are so precious to me and I want nothing bad to happen to you. But today I almost lost you and that cannot happen again. You need to know how to survive properly… so your father and I will show you how." Annabelle's eyes looked confused at first but then they lit up as she realised what her mother was saying.

"Really? You mean I can learn jungle skills?"

"Yes," Jane gave a small tender smile and stroked a lock of damp hair off her daughter's face, "but after your punishment. You young lady will be grounded for 2 weeks and you're helping me with the washing tomorrow. Understood?"

Annabelle nodded enthusiastically; she was too excited to care about being grounded! She could have been grounded two months and she still would have been overjoyed!

"Well best get some sleep, we have an early start tomorrow," Jane gave her daughter a hug and then a kiss on the forehead, "love you."

"Love you too Mama," Annabelle gave an adorable smile before snuggling under the covers. Jane took the oil lamp and headed out onto the balcony where her father was sitting. Archimedes placed down the book he was reading and watched his daughter looking out into the night.

"Everything alright dear?" he asked carefully.

"Yes Anna is asleep now. Boy it's been a hell of day!"

"It certainly has… do you want me to go and find Tarzan?"

"No Daddy it's far too dark and besides he can come back when he wants to."

"Jane," Archimedes sighed, "one of the most important things I have learnt whilst being married to your mother is to never to go to bed angry. It's not good to end the day with an argument unresolved."

"But you and Mummy never argued," Jane replied and Archimedes gave a little smile.

"Oh we did have our disagreements. We always had fierce debates on which was better, Oxford or Cambridge!"

"Daddy you cannot compare your silly university tiffs with Mummy to mine and Tarzan's fight!" Jane snapped, "He said that Anna and I should go to England for heaven's sake!"

"I know but I'm sure he didn't mean it Jane. He loves you and Anna so much and I'm sure he is very sorry."

"Well… I don't know if I can forgive him so easily."

"Don't hold grudges Jane, life is far too short," Archimedes patted her shoulder, "I'm off to bed. Remember don't let things fester."

Jane watched her father walk away and exhaled a deep sigh. She turned back to looking out to the jungle with the waves crashing onto the rocks below. Her hand went to her blouse and she pulled out the rock necklace that she wore ever since their wedding day. Jane looked down at the smooth heart shaped pebble and anxiously twisted the necklace around and around her finger. She didn't know what to do.

She thought that she knew her husband inside out but seeing this new side of him… she didn't know what to think. She had never been frightened of him and now seeing this side of him shocked her. Yes he was still a wild man, but she didn't think he would be capable of hurting her like that. Those words he said made her question everything she felt about him, her marriage and her family.

Sure there were times when she thought that living in England would be easier. Of course it is natural to see the grass as greener on the other side but she would never dream of actually doing it, going back. This was her home, her husband's home and her family's home and for years she had never thought of it otherwise. Now she felt lost, hopeless, like she didn't belong there anymore. She just didn't know what to do.

Suddenly she heard a soft landing and turned round to see Tarzan standing on the balcony looking pale and wretched. His eyes were bloodshot and the skin underneath them was red and sore, he must have cried after they left.

"Jane," he approached her as cautiously as if she were an animal that could easily turn on him.

"Tarzan," Jane tried to sound neutral but the tone of her voice made it came out a little curt.

"Where's Belle?"

"In bed. She has had a bath and some dinner and now she's asleep."

"Good, good…" Tarzan nodded before trailing off. The couple stared at each other for a long time, neither of them knowing what to say.

"Jane!" Tarzan blurted out desperately, "I am SO sorry for what I said! I would NEVER EVER want you and Belle to leave, you know that right?" Tarzan grabbed her hands and put them to his chest. Jane could feel his heart frantically beating and she could see his own rock necklace move up and down as his chest heaved in and out.

"I know… but that was one of the most hurtful, meanest, most spiteful things you have ever said to me Tarzan."

"I know," Tarzan's eyes began to well up again, "and I am so, so, so sorry… please forgive me Jane, please. I love you." Jane looked at her husband, so distraught and upset at what he had done. Her mind went back to the rest of the fight and the other words that he said. She realised that the reason why they hurt so much was because they were the truth. She had been burying her head in the sand for far too long and now she was going to have to face the facts.

"I forgive you," she said, "but you have to forgive me too."

"What? Jane, you don't need to be forgiven." Tarzan stared at his wife in complete surprise.

"Yes I do," she insisted as he began to protest, "because everything you said about Anna was right wasn't it? You are her father and you do have just as much a say in her parenting as I do. You were right that I mollycoddle her and that if anything did happen to her then it would have been my fault. I thought I was protecting her but I am actually endangering her! I look at it now and it's so absurd! My own daughter cannot climb a tree! I am a fool! A complete and utter fool! Jesus! What have I done! I am a terrible, terrible mother!" Jane leant her forehead on her husband's chest and wept quietly.

"Jane you are not a terrible mother," Tarzan soothed gently, "you are a wonderful mother! You were just doing what you thought was best for your child, anyone can see that."

"Well things are going to change," Jane lifted her head, her teary blue eyes filled with determination. "Anna is going to learn what she should have learnt a long time ago."

"Really?"

"Yes and you are going to teach her."

"Really?"

"Well you are the expert!" Jane gave a small smile and Tarzan hugged her tight. Jane breathed in his wonderful masculine scent and felt at home in his arms once more. Tarzan bent his head and they shared a long and tender kiss.

"Did Belle tell you why she went off?" Tarzan asked his wife as they sat in the rocking chair together, Jane on his lap. It was a calm cool night and the fireflies were out, lighting up the branches of the tree house with a golden twinkling glow.

"No," Jane replied, "but probably to have an adventure. Like father like daughter."

"One of the gorillas told her about the Unataka fruit -"

"Una what?"

"Unataka fruit. It's a fruit that grows in the eastern territories," Tarzan explained, "Legend has it that before you swallow the first bite of the first ever fruit you eat if you make a wish it will come true. I remember my mother telling it to me when I was young, a what you call a… 'fairy story'."

"Oh so I guess Anna and Keke went there to make some wishes."

"Yes, Keke was going to wish to be able to swim."

"Now that would be a sight!" Jane couldn't help giggling at the thought of a gorilla swimming!

"Yes, yes it would!" Tarzan chuckled.

"So what was Anna planning wish for?"

"She was going to wish to be future leader of the gorillas first after I told her that she couldn't as she was not a silverback. Then she changed her mind."

"To what?"

"To wish for a baby brother or sister. She overheard us talking the other night and decided to wish one for us."

"Oh my God!" Jane gasped as she turned her head to face him, putting her hand to her mouth in disbelief.

"Yes," Tarzan nodded sagely. "We have a wonderful kid Jane. She gave up her own wants and desires to make us happy. She put our needs before her own." Jane felt her heart pang at the discovery of her daughter's selflessness and a tear welled up in her eye both in joy and sadness.

"Like mother like daughter," Tarzan whispered into her ear and brushed her cheek with a kiss. He leaned over the chair and pulled out of the broken knapsack, which Jane had not noticed earlier, the strange and spikey black fruit.

"Wanna try?" he asked as he pulled out his rock knife whilst his wife stared at the fruit with a suspicious glance.

"Are you sure it's not poisonous?"

"Come on, let's make a wish. Let's wish for a baby."

"But you said it was all made up, a fairy tale."

"What if it is not? We have nothing to lose by trying Jane." Tarzan sliced open the fruit to reveal the creamy yellow flesh inside. He carefully cut out two large slices and handed one to Jane. Jane looked at him uncertainly for a moment but his eyes, so filled with an unquenchable hope that she was reassured and took a bite of the fruit as he did.

"Golly gosh!" she exclaimed to herself as she chewed into the flesh. It had the texture cross between a mango and a banana… but the taste! "It tastes like custard, no cinder toffee, no, no plum pudding, no, no, no!" Jane thought as she continued to chew. It tasted like nothing she had ever tasted before. It was so sweet and so heavenly, like all of the desserts and sweets of her childhood but a thousand times better! Suddenly she remembered to make the wish just before the last morsel of fruit went down her throat!

"I wish to have another baby," she said to herself and then the last bit of the creamy, sweet fruit slipped down her throat. Jane looked at her husband who seemed to be having an almost out of body experience, that the fruit had took him to a higher plain.

"Tarzan? Did you make a wish?" she asked as she saw him swallow the fruit and slowly awaken from his trance.

"Yes," he nodded dreamily, "did you?"

Jane nodded and laid back against him in the rocking chair watching the fireflies twinkle in the branches above.

"I guess we better head to bed," Tarzan noted after a while before sounding out a long yawn.

"Yes," Jane got off him but then turned round to face him, arms crossed and eyebrow raised, "and just why cannot Anna be leader of the gorillas?"

"Don't you start!" Tarzan rolled his eyes in exasperation whilst Jane grinned.

"I said why not?" she laughed as she jumped onto him, her hands quickly tickling his chest.

"Hahahaha Jane stop it! Hahahaha stop it!" Tarzan managed to say through his breathless hysterical laughter! Then he managed to get hold of Jane and started to tickle her too! Jane burst into fits of giggles as the two of them tickled each other like schoolchildren in a playground!

Meanwhile, in the tree house Annabelle was woken by the commotion outside. As she rubbed her eyes, her ears pricked up at the sound of her parents coming from the balcony and her heart began to pound with the fear of them fighting again! But then as she heard her mother and father's loud and happy laughter, the fear inside her vanished. As she snuggled back under the covers and closed her eyes, a smile formed on her face as she saw that her family was happy again, that their future was bright once more.